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dadplup Archive

View 0 posts and 219 comments by dadplup on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

No I wouldn't, there was a time that I would have without a second thought taken the bullet, then I realized how my kids life would be with her alone, we were married for almost 19 years and the woman couldn't drive, couldn't budget or even make a grocery list. In one year, she managed to burn thru her family ties and ended up homeless in a relationship with a sex offender. No, I didn't want my kid to be alone with her, so no, I wouldn't take the bullet
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 02:10 AM
1

Then I'm sorry by is time to go, make your preparations and try to get the best possible result, it's not going to be perfect but try to get what you can live with
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 07:07 AM
6

I was married for almost 19 years,I was miserable during the last 10. Found out she was chatting with another guy at night when I was at work, I expressed my discomfort with this it didn't matter, she swore nothing was going on, she lied, she would invite him over after the kids went to bed and I left for work. This was only the first time I caught her. By the third time I had enough, our daughter caught her, and that was it , I filed for divorce and 6 months later it was done without her. Sexti…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 02:38 AM
9

Getting used to the silence, not having to be gaslit ,darvoed,
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 12:04 PM
7

Is she regretting things? Most likely. I was married for almost 19 years, she had 2 boys already 6 years and 10 months, together we had our daughter. At around our 8 years together I found out she was cheating, placing on kicking me out of the house and move ap in while making me pay the bills, I moved out but ap told her he was just hummoring her and didn't want anything serious, I tried to work it out but within a year I didn't think we would make it as I noticed that she was just bidding her …
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 02:42 AM
2

Yes I think we all are living with those accusations, I was married for almost 19 years and I was accused of dv, abuse and sa, just so that she could take our kid,I was lucky enough that I had proof of my innocence not many people do, the evidence was enough that my nexw left town in the middle of the night without attending the custody hearing or answering the divorce papers
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 05:42 PM
2

Order of protection ,a restraining order
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 11:37 PM
9

You are doing the right thing, document every interaction with them, save emails, texts, voicemails and record any meetings you have with her, never meet her alone, or is very important that you present yourself as stable as possible, because they will use any sign of instability in your life to their advantage, don't fall for their provocation, and hand proof that you're willing to work on things for the children sake, judges like seeing that, at least the one that had my case in court did, goo…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 10:43 PM
2

My nexw was convinced that she would make me pay thru the nose,( her words) she had plans as to how she would go about it and was never very discreet either, the guys that she was grooming to take over for me dumped her when she made her move, I stayed because of my daughter, but I saw the writing on the wall. She believed the grass was greener on the other side, her family was a big influence on her decisions to run and act out, I don't think she had more than one or two friends by the time thi…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 03:29 AM
4

I was married for almost 19 years, she wanted to be a sahm and she was until I found out she was cheating with a guy who was unemployed and living with his mom, when I found out he dumped her faster than anything I've ever seen before, we tried to work it out, at least I tried, but when I found messages between her and her friends talking about how she was waiting for someone better to come along before dumping me and making me pay thru the nose, how she wasn't being treated the way she deserved…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 01:14 AM
16

I was married for almost 19 years. My nexw was trying to and I quote " leave my a## and make me pay thru the nose" that's what she would tell her friends who in turn warned me about, I confronted her and admitted it. She tried to manipulate the system against me, sent police and cps after me, when that didn't work she made even worse accusations. Then was planning to use her health issues to get a better judgement, unluckily for her I kept receipts, police reports, cps reports,emails, texts, vm …
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 08:55 PM
2

I did she doesn't know with who or how many times or for how long , she suspected the wrong woman even to this day. We were married for almost 19 years and the last 10 were horrible, why i did it? because I knew she wouldn't change and she walked to wear me down to ignore her actions, she cheated first and when I found out about it she would tell me she wanted to work it out but as soon as I was out of earshot or so she thought, she would say she couldn't wait to leave me and make me pay thru th…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 10:29 PM
2

I don't blame covid, my nexw and i were already having serious trouble for years, but the lock down forced us to be around each other even more so it didn't help the divorce was finalized in 22,
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 03:10 AM
3

In my state, when my nexw didn't answer the divorce papers, the process went a lot smoother , she also didn't show up to court, yes it took longer but I didn't have to deal with her, the lawyer is correct she is setting herself up to lose, any debt that is incurred during the marriage will be the responsibility of both, granted things don't look good just make sure that everything she done is documented.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 03:10 AM
1

Our can also be about showing how difficult to deal with you are, and how unwilling to compromise you are, be careful
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 03:08 PM
8

It's a trap, never meet without the lawyers. This sounds like a last-ditch effort to get the upper hand, I would set up the meetings with a lawyer present and record iteven after the divorce is final it is not truly over specially when you have kids together, be careful and good luck
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 09:49 AM
16

When my nexw of nearly 19 years separated, our daughter and I realized just how little she did around the house, it took us 2 to 3 weeks to clean things up, and once we did, things were never that messy again, to this day although the place is not spotless its a lot cleaner and organized than when the ex was here, we are not wasting food that went bad, etc. Money is not as much of a problem either. Our health recovered after she left.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 03:45 PM
5

So true, you never know what they will make up now. It's not worth the risk, they will complain about it anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 11:27 PM
3

That is a lot of money to be forking out every month, obviously you can afford it based on how little you're bothered by it, most of us would be broke and on the street, although technically you're not paying alimony you are paying alimony, so some research and find out what could happen in the future with the house, who owns it etc, this is a bad omen for your future but it's your decision
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 01:51 AM
2

I wanted it back so I could give it to our daughter, I didn't always disliked my ex. At one point, I truly loved her, and I wanted my daughter to decide what to do with it, she wears my wedding band on a chain around her neck, she knows I loved that ring and it's my favorite color, tungsten ring with cobalt blue color, but the ex refused to give it back, even after I offered to buy it from her, she preferred to be broke and homeless than sell it to me. I believe she sold it to a pawnshop and got…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 04:43 AM
2

My nexw tried that with our daughter while we were still married, luckily my daughter and I have a close relationship based on mutual respect and communication, she was about 13 when her mom started acting like this with her, mom tried to be the bff, forcing herself on to her, in the sense that she wanted to be her confidant, yet the kid never really opened up to her, but she would to me, she trusted me. I was there when the kid had an issue and would listen to her, gave my advice when she asked…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 04:53 PM
3

The way my ex did it? was because she had someone waiting in the wind for her already every time, then they would change their mind, we stayed together for 10 years after that but they were the most miserable years I've ever had, it ended finally when I made her leave the house in 21, and 6 months later the divorce I filed was finalized. She had already checked out the first time she was just bidding her time, and so was i, we wouldn't talk, we wouldn't do anything together really, and had a dea…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 04:35 PM
10

Nta and even if you were willing to try to remain civil it is very unlikely to happen. My nexw and I had one daughter together and I had suggested to remain civil not friendly just civil as we would always be linked together thru the kid she couldn't, mostly our of spite as the divorce was not kind to her and I got custody of my kid, in 3 years she called me twice to yell at me and her bf had called me to threaten me all documented and they were foolish enough to leave voicemails so no nta
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 09:37 AM
4

Research your state laws, consult a lawyer and hire one, when I was going thru my divorce my lawyer told me I couldn't remove her from my insurance until after the divorce, is kinda standard, had a list of temporary orders to follow, but get a much information as you can, if you can afford a private investigator hire one, but gather as much evidence as you can, you never know what will come in handy. Time to protect yourself
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 09:11 AM
2

I found out they the grapevine that my nexw was pregnant with twins, she is not, she was trying to use that as a manipulation tactic with our daughter, it didn't work. And even if it were true it's not my coop not my poop.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 09:02 AM
3

I paid for my kid, and the ex had to reimburse me for it, I got custody on the divorce until she turned 18 , she only paid about 3 months of that and cd and still owes about 6k , I'll never get that ik that much, but after the divorce was finalized since the judge didn't order me to pay for her I removed her from my insurance the day I got the decree
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 06:39 AM
15

Not your coop not your poop. Other than what is on the divorce decree you're not required to give anything else, giving anything else will be just opening pandoras box
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 06:21 AM
5

Her being a big earner for the narrative, some people can't handle success it goes to their heads and they get this sense of superiority about them and try to justify everything because they deserve it, my nexw was like that, the people that surround them can be a bad influence too but that doesn't make it right either. I hope your lawyer will give you good advise
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 08:59 PM
7

I live in Texas, i was married for almost 19 years and ik is a no fault state, proof of infidelity might help but it might not, be careful with money, be prepared though any assets like retirement, 401k etc you might be losing at least half, probably will have to keep paying for college , but likely no child support, there is no alimony in Texas but it's only because it's called spousal support, the rules to get it are very strict, she might get it if she's not working and no real way to support…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 07:22 PM
6

We have a daughter and she was planning on taking her away and move out of state with her, the fear of losing her was too much, by this time she was old enough that she could decide who she lived with and she didn't trust her mom, I waited until that moment and it was when my daughter found out about her most recent affair that I filed. I was afraid of where my kid would end up and judging by how life has treated my ex I was justified on being afraid, the thought of my kid suffering was much wor…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 07:08 AM
9

In my case it took a while to finally file, during that time I made sure my schedule was opposite to hers so that I wouldn't be home at the same time, then on my days off I would rent a motel to stay there at least once a week only had to be there one night. After the divorce was finalized I felt relief, I was able to do things I wanted more openly and without fear that they would be used against me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 05:14 AM
5

First you need to do research about family laws in your state, very very important now i live in Texas, so this only applies to Texas . When my nexw and I separated, my daughter had just turned 17, she asked to stay with me and I agreed, ik the kids ages are different but please bear with me that's why i mentioned research, consult a lawyer and ask questions from a police officer. Record and save every text, call, vm, email, above all else do not meet her in private, only in public, like a libra…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 01:42 AM
6

As they said before, what's on the decree is final, there is no going back on it unless she appeals it at her expense, she moving the goalposts of you give in she will just move them again, might have to take it to court yourself for failure to comply, it could get expensive and time consuming but I believe it will be worth it. Once the decree is final that's all your required to do, no matter how much she tries to change it, she can only change things if you let her do it
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 06:21 PM
8

I used to tell my nexw that there was a lot that I could live with, but regrets was not one of those things, I tried and tried until I had to accept that it was not going to work anymore, so like you I filed, got custody of my daughter and moved on, 3 years later life is good not perfect but good, and I have no regrets because I tried my best , which is a lot more that can be said about the ex , that will bring you peace of mind, knowing that you at least tried
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 03:46 AM
5

Been divorced for 2 1/2 years, and honestly after nearly 19 years together , dating is not something I want to do, first I'm older, so young girls are not my focus, it takes time to rediscover yourself after being married. The loneliness can be overwhelming but you can grow from it, find what you are passionate about and go for it. Don't rush it, don't rush yourself, you have to heal before you can move on, or might take a week or a month or longer, I haven't dated anyone since, but I've had enc…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 03:31 AM
4

I did and I had to be very careful about the way I went about it. Like yours my ex already had someone waiting, she had a couple of pregnancy scares , that week they were not mine, she hurled accusations of abuse, child abuse, etc., in the end I had to get advise from my lawyer, the police and cps, we have a daughter who at the time had just turned 17. And refused to meet with me to go over property division, custody agreements the works, I was advised by the cops never to be alone with her so I…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 02:26 AM
2

Don't do what I did. In 2012 after 8 years together i caught her cheating for the first time with a guy that was a total loser, no job, no future, living with his mom, depending on his mom for everything, his mom even defended him when she saw me at the grocery store, but he dumped her right away and in the end he blamed the whole thing on her, ngl that was satisfying, we had one child together and she brought 2 more from 2 previous relationships, I stayed for them. But kept an eye open. By 2014…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 05:26 PM
1

Sounds rather suspicious though, my ex was trying to court shop that's why she was trying to take the kids without me knowing, we used to live in Texas, where there is no alimony she wanted to establish residency in Indiana so that she could file there, had she done that I would've have to go to court there, might want to do some research on family law on both states, Sounds like a fishy request, in any case since you filed already is too late already just watch out and don't take her word for i…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 06:22 PM
1

Did she move out of state or just went out of state, I'm just curious. My nexw tried that first she tried to leave without a divorce or an agreement on custody, I managed to file for divorce before that and the courts temporary orders made her rethink her plans. We stayed together and the papers were dismissed, but years later after my daughter discovered her most recent affair I filed again, this time for good, I was very anxious because I knew she wanted to leave the state with my daughter so …
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 05:33 PM
5

You need me. You need me to be the villain in your story because if people really knew the things you do and did they wouldn't touch you with a 10 ft pole. You need me, because without me being portrayed as a bad guy, you can't play the victim anymore, that's why you keep trying to provoke me to lash out. You need me because of you were to tell people how you threw the kids under the bus to get a man that you catfished, you wouldn't be able to play the part of mother convincingly. You need me an…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 04:54 PM
5

No I don't regret divorcing her. I regret not having done it sooner and I regret that there is nothing legally I can do to help my stepsons.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 04:38 PM
1

I had issues with depression before getting married, which I think that's why she specifically targeted me she's got npd, after 19 years and raising the 2 boys she had before we met and our daughter together one day I finally broke thru the fog ,I belive it was the result of me being put on depression and anxiety medications in the last 3 years of marriage, I was close to ending it all a couple of times, then I was taken off them after the divorce, ngl i developed ptsd the sound of her voice mak…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 05:21 PM
1

My daughter and I live a quiet life off the grid, for the most part, she's the only person that I care what she thinks of me, my ex however has called my job trying to cause trouble, luckily I was transferred to other stores since the separation (I work in retail), unluckily for my ex I have a very good work reputation and no criminal record at all so she can't use it against me , never the less i take no chances.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 02:18 AM
3

For context i spent nearly 19 years with her, the divorce was finalized in Feb of 22, our daughter was 17 by then and I was given custody, she was given visitations and put on cs, she left the state after the temporary custody hearing a few months before. The road to divorce was not easy, I didn't have to struggle to figure out what she was saying about me, I already knew, again I spent that long with her I knew what she was capable of doing and saying, I was not wrong and if I'm being honest it…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 12:07 AM
1

When my ex and I separated, my daughter had just turned 17, she asked for her and her kitties to stay with me, her mom has never forgotten that, and has only spoken with her twice (she just turned 20 this year), she a kind and supportive young lady and im glad she's my child.😊😊😊
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 02:08 PM
7

Discuss and answer my daughter's questions , specially the one where she asked why I stayed so long if I was unhappy
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 06:16 PM
1

I had multiple reasons why. I know this might not make sense to you and that's ok, it all boils down to choices I wanted my daughter to have the choice. 1 my ex was in a very difficult financial situation, she needed money and didn't want to talk to me as I filed for divorce first so that she could go to her ap. She was about to be homeless and I wanted to help not because she deserved it but because I knew that she would want visitations with my daughter as I had custody, I wanted her to be saf…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 06:09 PM
2

I'll start by saying that I live in Texas. When I was going thru the divorce she kept calling the police on me for x,y or z,so I consulted with the police about my options. I was advised to record every meeting, interaction, text, email, and phone call I would get from her, even if it only lasted a second, for she could claim I was abusing her or threatening her, etc, and to never met her in private always in a public place with video and witnesses. You might benefit from doing some research reg…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 04:44 PM
1

No but I did try to buy it from her, I knew she was broke and needed money, my goal was to give it to our daughter as she would've been the only one that would've appreciated more, I even asked her that if she didn't want to sell it to consider giving it to the kid but refused too, I also volunteered to buy her out of her half of the belongings we had divided, but she didn't want to either, she should've taken the money. In the end she got to keep the ring, but lost everything else, including cu…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 04:33 PM
7

I did, i made her leave the house, filed for divorce and custody of our teenage daughter, After 19 years together, the last 10 were horrible we were both miserable,I was waiting for my kid to be older so that she could choose who to go live with, ex was waiting for her affair partners to rescue her, they just used her for sex and got her pregnant but miscarried every time.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 03:56 PM
3

I was married to her for almost 19 years and I had to learn to do what's best for the kids and me, I had to learn to not be bothered by the things she does or says as I had no control of that, I can only change the things I can change, accept the things I can't change, and hope to gain the wisdom to know the difference. There is no set timeline my divorce was finalized in Feb of 22 and there are people that still take her side and believe her lies, that as I said is not something I can control, …
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 10:09 PM
1

A lot of what you went thru I went thru it too, it wasn't easy and I managed to get what I wanted because she didn't fight at all, and that was custody of my daughter, and was in that much of a rush, I put together her actions in the months leading to the divorce and was ready to go to court with it but didn't have to. She had a routine she tells every man she's been involved with that she a abused, s ayed by her exs and that we are stalking her, every single man she's ever been involved with ha…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 09:42 PM
4

Definitely switch gyms is not worth the torture, you're only hurting yourself, then they can get exposed
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 09:17 PM
2

The prefect exit plan doesn't exist, sometimes you just have to move on with the resources you have available, take it from someone that stayed in a toxic relationship for years before making a move, the collateral damage you will suffer can be worth it specially if your peace of mind is involved, you don't have to say anything because she sounds like she doesn't respect you or your opinion so why bother talking? She won't listen to you anyway Get the process going, file it ,get a storage unit a…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/24 08:17 PM
6

I was married for almost 19 years and I did everything I could to give her what she wanted, the last 10 years were hell, when it was over it did a number on my sanity, and my finances, she already had someone in mind for when she planned on leaving me and every time it fell thru for her, so the last time I just walked away I didn't give her the chance to decide anymore. I had enough.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 04:14 AM
3

I went thru something similar with my nexw. Different circumstances, but I was able to see what her end result was, she was trying to build a case against me, but her case building was based on other people's advise, people that only knew her side of the story, her friends and family. I hired was lawyer and got advise from the police on how to protect myself, and I was told to: 1 document every interaction I had with her, every text, voice mail, email letter etc, save them and make sure it has a…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 05:55 PM
1

They disliked me severely from about 2 years in and continued to dislike me to this day. We got married in 2003, we divorced in 2022.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 11:01 PM
12

I did. We had a dead bedroom for about 5 years maybe 6, when I asked she said she never thought sex was important to her to begin with, for context she never initiated it and at times I felt like I was forcing myself on her so I suggested that she should initiate sometimes. Turns out that what she meant to say was that sex with me wasn't important to her, after the divorce I was going thru some medical records she left behind, they said that she had multiple miscarriages in the last 3 years of o…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 03:56 PM
1

I caught her cheating the first time in 2010, tried to work it out but refused to take responsibility for her affair, she would send mixed signals to me, to my face she would say I want to work it out, to her friends she would say I'm gonna get a job, leave his butt and make him pay thru the nose, I confronted her with this, she admitted it and even acknowledged that the moment someone better came along she would leave me, I never trusted her after that, she exposed her real self then, had other…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 10:21 AM
2

When I was going thru my divorce I was in a rush to have her served the papers before she left town because then I would've had to pay extra to get her served, and the process would've been much more complicated, luckily she got the papers a week or so before the first court hearing, you see she was in a rush to get too her affair partner too once she got the papers I was breathing a lot easier. Maybe she has alterior motives for it, just be careful in some states the judge can order the other p…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 08:17 AM
1

She cheated on me at least 2 times possibly more, that was bad, also being accused of child abuse was bad too, trying to take my kid was more than I could handle, but the worse was when she filed a false report with cps claiming I was having sex with our daughter, I was so angry that I wanted to do things to her but my friend and my daughter talked me down, the case was dismissed in 24 hrs but it left me very scared tbh of just how much further she would go, I only spoken to her, well got yelled…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 01:36 AM
2

2 years since finalizing the divorce and I still have no plans to date anyone really, every time the subject comes up among my friends I don't know what to say, I've had a hookup or two but nothing. I don't want to be some but my anxiety about the subject gets the best of me
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 06:58 PM
1

This is the opening salvo, the first shot, of she has a lawyer it is designed to overwhelm you, its a lawyer tactic to force you to negotiate, to scare you, get a lawyer if you can, the only way she will get everything is if you either give it freely or did something messed up either way this is just beginning sadly it will get worse before it gets better, good luck to you
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 11:37 PM
2

My nexw tried a similar tactic even sent cps after me, I was advised by the cops to document, and record every interaction, never meet her in private, take screenshots and save every text, phone call, voice mail, email everything, have witnesses
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 08:36 AM
2

Stay at home and document everything, depending on where do you live, judges can potentially frown on her being so cavalier about it specially since there is no separation agreement, so some research on family laws in your state and again document everything
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 08:33 AM
6

I've been divorced for almost 2 years after almost 19 together. Do I want to date? Yes, but it's not my main focus in life, as someone that had a npd ex-wife i don't want a relationship right now, I'm not opposed if it happens mind you, it's just not my focus, I haven't dated anyone since and only had a few hookups. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, just let it happen at its own pace, don't force it. Good luck to you
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 08:25 AM
3

I was married to my ex for nearly 19 years, when we meet she already had the 2 boys, 6 years and 10 months, together we had a girl. The eldest doesn't talk to me even before the divorce and even though I tried, he's 27, the middle one only calls when he needs something he's 22, the youngest she's 19, and we are in contact. I had to accept that the boys would one day want to go on with their lives , make their own way just like my daughter will someday too.. In the end you can't force them to be …
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 08:19 AM
7

She wants you to support her until she's finish with school, she's telling you that she doesn't want to be with you, it is time to actually listen and move on, the longer it goes on the more alimony you might have to pay
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 07:13 AM
2

She was distant, she was doing things that she normally wouldn't do for us, like she started wearing make up something that she never did in the past, she was very secretive with her phone wouldn't leave it down she would sleep on it, changed passwords on both her phone and social media accounts, created new ones often, demanded to see mine but wouldn't even let our daughter touch hers. She changed the way she was dressing, her work hours, she hated having to go to work, she wanted to be a sahm …
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 07:55 AM
1

Not everybody has the patience or willingness to keep pushing forward, regrets are the one thing that no matter what you can never get rid of, you have to live with them for a very long time, like you I put up with my nexw for so long, because it was important for me to say that I tried to fix things, that I gave her a second chance, that I tried to forgive her for her actions and I did, that's why when I made her leave I was sad but once my breakdown was done I was able to see s clearer picture…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 10:39 AM
8

We were together for almost 19 years. I caught her cheating at the 7yh years, she tried to leave me on the 11th, both times her current lover backed out when she did this, finally at the 18th I saw that she was acting suspicious again , like she was having another affair. I called her on it and mentioned to her that she had a decision to make if she wanted to go to just go I would pay for her ticket home but not to do what I knew she was going , otherwise the decision would be out off her hands,…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 08:14 AM
4

I hope for your sake that she's not lying , so many guys have been screwed by their former spouses during the divorce, my ex didn't fight the divorce or custody because she knew I had documentation on every time she called the police and her calls to cps, as well as the testimony of the agent who investigated me. I also had texts and voicemail alongside her medical records. The cps agent told me that is very common during a divorce that one of the spouses will call then claiming abuse or neglect…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 02:50 AM
14

That was not a mistake was a set up and you feel for it, and not going to court that was the mistake , this will cost you for sure, now she has full custody and the child support is going to be exorbitant. never miss court appointments, don't trust anyone when it comes to the kids, my exwife tried everything she could and was not afraid of lying or playing dirty, I got investigated by the cops and cps , they found nothing because there was nothing to find and she overplayed her hand, it almost g…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 01:50 AM
3

If you can't wait until after the divorce is finalize then definitely do not flaunt it, because although not illegal in no fault states it can sway the judge against you if it's brought up. My ex tried to acuse me of cheating and abandonment, among other things don't turn your back on her until it's done and even then
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 12:57 AM
3

It depends on your state laws, you really consult a lawyer and start proceedings because it will get worse. When my ex wanted to leave I didn't stop her I simply requested 2 things, one that she didn't take my kid out of state and in exchange I wouldn't fight her for custody, which she did not agree to and had plans to leave already, and 2 to finalize the divorce before she left, this is where it gets interesting ok? So bear with me, she refused this too, she told me she was going to make me wai…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 10:37 PM
7

It will be ok, my nexw and I have been divorced since 2/22 and she didn't wait until we separated before starting her next relationship, then the next and then the current one, ik it hurts even when you know it will happen, it makes you feel insignificant, it did to me like I didn't matter. This days I'm ok with me being where I am, life is not perfect but it's better than it was, this happened when I accepted that I had no control over what she did with her life, that she would do what she want…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 10:12 PM
2

I was married for nearly 19 years, she had 2 boys and together we had one daughter, I saw lots of abuse in her past from her exes and specially from her family, I thought by taking her away from them she would change and feel better, then over the years I realized that she was using it as an act to justify the things she did, I tried getting her help, but refused to go when they diagnosed her as a narcissist. Her life after the divorce has become a nightmare for her, last year she became alienat…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 09:03 PM
21

Sometimes they listen to their friends too , they tell them to take us to the cleaners, sometimes it's their family too, I caught my ex trying to not only replace me with the other guy, kick me out of the house and was expecting me to pay all the bills as she was going to "make me pay thru the nose". I never trusted her after that and over the years things got worse, in the end I refused to get a house or another car, even to have another baby unless she was working as she was a sahm, she did ge…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 05:03 PM
5

We separated 2 years ago last September and got divorced 6 months later, we were married for almost 19 years, as of now she's moved on and it seems like she's on a relationship with someone else. There are days I feel very low but I know the divorce had to happen,I go to work and spend time with my daughter, i don't have plans to remarry ever again unless the right person comes along, and even then, I had to learn to make peace with myself
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 10:44 PM
3

In their heads it is your job, and if they act out then you deserved it, I've been there it sucks
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:34 PM
4

I was in pain, angry too I missed her,I was miserable, then 2 weeks after we separated I realized that it was over, not with a bang but a whimper, it was truly over, we had been married for almost 19 years, she got caught cheating twice that I knew of even with that I was still sad when I made her leave. What you're experiencing is normal it will get better you have to experience this your grief like you would the passing of a family member you loved, because it is and go thru the stages of grie…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 03:38 PM
1

When I was married my nexw was very similar, wouldn't work, wouldn't clean, wouldn't cook, she claimed she didn't know how to budget or even make a grocery list, I tried showing her but to no avail, the times she got caught cheating and trying to take off they corresponded to when the kids were young so I didn't leave because I knew that she wouldn't be able to take care of them, doctors, teachers and therapists knew to get ahold of me instead of her to get things done. Maybe your daughters are …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 01:35 AM
9

Sometimes the best way is to figure how things got to that point, and the only way is to talk to them, and them alone, why did they get involved? I had 2 stepsons and one daughter I tried very hard not to involve them but my ex did, as a result the boys didn't talk to me for a while, one still doesn't, my daughter stayed with me because she had her issues with her mother. Get to the bottom of it then you might get an idea of what happened and why, yes is true that women stick together, but not a…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 04:24 PM
1

I filed for divorce in Texas 2 years ago, in order to get an at fault judgement she must prove he cheated, not just infer it, giving her access to his phone is not smart because anything can be interpreted as evidence, my ex tried to accuse me of many things including abandonment, and abuse, I moved out because I didn't want to give her another opportunity to call the cops on me, to give herself bruises to claim abuse etc,. It might not be practical but even the police advised me not to meet wit…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 03:01 AM
1

Oh I lived there for nearly 19 years before I divorced her. For years she always took everyone's opinion on things but mine and only what she wanted was important, the moment I started to put my foot down she started cheating, looking for someone to replace me with She believes she was the glue that kept us together but did absolutely nothing, she even refused to work for most of the marriage.i could go on and on but you get the idea. Is been a little over 2 years since we separated and about a …
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 01:32 AM
2

I said nothing unless they asked and even then I kept most of the reasons why we divorced to myself, otherwise it would've seemed like I was the angry ex trying to get even with her, but they knew about her Infidelities and mostly stayed out of it. It's important to not appear like the vindictive ex before court, it's hard to do but you must remain civil specially when kids are involved, good luck to you
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 01:05 AM
2

My nexw lied to the cops and cps, brought me a lot of stress all I could do was document things, I had a good lawyer that used every legal tool to help me survive the divorce, but before that I had the police and cps knocking at my door and investigated me, but found nothing because there was nothing to find , her reluctance to compromise ended up being her downfall
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 02:21 PM
5

My ex was dumped by the man that was waiting for her after we separated, turns out she got catfished , she was homeless earlier this year, she won't work because she doesn't want to pay the back child support she owes, she managed to alienate her parents, 2 brothers, and all 3 of the kids, yet she thinks she's the victim. She's got npd , and blamed everything on me. Yet I would tell her this because she's the mother of my daughter, "just because we're not getting along it doesn't mean I want you…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 07:41 PM
1

I had a few encounters with cps as they are called here in Texas over the years over stupid things that could've been avoided, although I respect the teachers and doctors that report this things as honestly being concerned for the kids wellbeing it went to far imo. , the worst one was my nexw claimed I was molesting my daughter, during the divorce the kid had just turned 17 and asked to stay with me when we separated after that mom didn't want to visit her and spoke to her very little , this was…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 09:35 PM
6

The review from the booth shows indications that the ball was tampered with, and after further inspection it seems the ball was not off the right material and under inflated, we got ourselves another deflategate here
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 08:12 PM
3

I simply went on with my life focusing on the things that would affect me and my kid and tried to ignore the things she would say. Because thinking about it will only make me angry and more likely to lash out and prove her case for her. My nexw went on to tell people that she left an abusive and manipulative man to be free, that she was a glutton for punishment, that i turned our daughter against her, that I was a cheater, control freak , that she sacrificed the kids for me, that I took everythi…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 08:08 PM
2

The only way to actually not spend a lot of money is if she agrees to it as an uncontested divorce, if she agrees to an amicable division of assets,2 depending on your state on alimony and child support and 3v custody agreements you might be able to file it yourself and get it done quickly. But that doesn't seem to be the case here, if she's not wanting a divorce, chances are she's gonna fight you tooth and nail for everything, and on every chance she gets, it is not feasible, you might just hav…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 01:21 AM
5

Yep, my ex did that and still does, everything she did that lead to the divorce has been spun around to blame me for it and her being the victim of my evil machinations
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 09:19 AM
4

It took a while for me to realize this but I had an epiphany during the months leading to the divorce, I thought that she didn't know anything about me, I was wrong, she knew enough about me to know just exactly what buttons to push to get me to break me down and make me snap, that was true when we were married and remains true to this day. she couldn't make me react negatively after a while her goal was to make me hit her, that was her intention all along, but I don't do that, never have, so as…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 04:29 PM
2

The day of my prove up hearing I was a nervous wreck I didn't know if she was going to show up or not, or who was going to be there, the reason why is she didn't show up for the custody hearing so there was a lot of uncertainty, the hearing took place a standard hearing I gave testimony and she didn't show up again, the judge signed the papers and just like that without fanfare or arguments it was over. I walked out of the lawyers office as this was a virtual hearing and I looked up, I felt a hu…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 04:14 PM
3

You're gonna do what you want to do regardless of what anyone said. Both sides have consequences depending on what you're willing to do. My brother and I are divorced but we went 2 completely different directions, I stuck around until my kid was old enough to decide who she wanted to live with she had just turned 17 at the time and she and I get along nicely, I love her she loves me, I would still love her if she had chosen her mom. I fought to keep her in my life she knows this. Her mom has onl…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 06:15 AM
3

I was married for nearly 19 years, we started having issues around the 8 year mark, like you I thought I could work it out, she told me she wanted to work it out too, but it was not true I'll tell you my experience which was both things that you're thinking,. We tried therapy which she spent talking about the kids nothing about the issues we had, she only stayed because her ap didn't want to become daddy and told her he only wanted sex, even after that she still tried to stay with him I had move…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 10:38 PM
1

Make sure you take screenshots of everything she has posted for sale make sure her name is shown, that way if she tried to take you to court to get more money for furniture, you have proof that she sold it unnecessarily. In the movie the first wives club, one of the girls sold every asset they had and gave him half of the profits from the sale, 50 cents, I imagine she's gonna use this to brag that she took everything and bought new stuff, is a humiliation tactic, don't fall for it since sure alr…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 05:23 AM
1

The judge on my divorce and my divorce decree said that we each were responsible from the debt that we created in order to move on our own place, but anything before that was both of ours, it depends on when did you file and when u separated
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 11:31 PM
1

Are you talking about my ex? She did exactly that to the letter, Change the things that you can change, accept the things that you can't and try to be wise enough to know the difference. I wanted so much to tell people the truth about who she is but I realized I would only end up being the exact thing she claimed I was, I even created videos on the clock platform about it, I did it for myself I needed to vent what I was feeling, however her brother ran in to my videos and she saw them, she never…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 11:18 PM
1

I live in Texas and when I filed we had this temporary orders that wouldn't allow either of us to take our daughter out of state without written permission from the other parent or a court order, this is to prevent either one from fleeing the jurisdiction, because once they are gone, it is exceptionally difficult to get them back, specially without a court ordered or court signed parenting agreement, hell even my lawyer told me not to let her go anywhere with her mom, she had asked to stay with …
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 09:03 AM
4

To me, it is a constantly changing situation . I was married for almost 19 years, I raised the 2 boys she had before me met and our daughter, they are now 27,21, and 19. We separated 2 years ago, it was a very bad marriage during the last 10 years but actually worse the last 5,I stayed because I wanted to be with the kids and I knew she couldn't take care of them herself, she would've just make me pay thru the nose, her words not mine. After we separated I kept tabs on her mostly because I knew …
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 05:02 PM
1

No don't let her in, she doesn't have anything in there that belongs to her anymore, the judges said so the police said so, she will not limit the things she takes to hers only and you will have no control over it, it smells like a trap, when you raise an objection she will try to say you threatened her, you know the rest. If you are willing and determined to give her things from the house, which you don't have to, do your own inventory and send it to her , have her make a list of suggestions fo…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 10:44 PM
1

Mine wanted everything, I mean everything, custody, cs, 401k, alimony, all the belongings, she felt entitled to every single thing. Sometimes people let others fill their heads with ideas that are not logical, I tried to negotiate with mine on good faith, which wasn't easy, she refused to meet in a public place with witnesses around and recording the meeting, I sent a proposal to get for an equal division, I even volunteered to buy her off the things that she wanted and to buy her engagement rin…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 10:33 PM
3

This is very true. I was never perfect ill start with that but I tried so hard to be a good husband, my now ex of 19 years hit a point around our 8th year where she changed her behavior too she was doing things she should've done and would go and talk all kinds of trash about me to her friends, tearing me down, how do I know? Because her friends told me so, mind you those were her friends people that I meet thru her and I didn't have much to do with them to begin with, yet they told me about the…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 09:37 PM
4

When I realized that we were not going to make it I used to tell my nexw that I knew she would replace me very quickly, my nightmare lasted 19 years but the last 10 were the worst. The guys that she was planning on leaving me for didn't want her that way, they just wanted a piece of the pie she was giving, that happened twice, After we separated 2 years ago I knew it was just a matter of time, it destroyed me more that I will ever admit to get, she will not see me down or know how much it affect…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 07:52 PM
1

I don't think painless divorce happens very often, I was married for almost 19 years and the 5 months from separation till finalization were very difficult but the end was anticlimactic, but no it wasn't painless at all
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 07:39 AM
1

I'm not sure how things are in PA but I live in TX , when I hired my lawyer i paid the retainer and I had to pay the filing fee too , they filled it out and turned it in to the courthouse, they had their process server find my ex and served her with the papers, I didn't have to do anything except stay out of trouble once I retained them,I was required to fill out a questionnaire about my daughter and if I owned any weapons, if I had I would've been required to turn them over to somebody else not…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 07:23 AM
1

This is probably how a judge in family court will see this You have a drinking problem, you gotten in trouble over it, involving a vehicle too, that makes you in their eyes unreliable and try as you might they will not ignore it specially if she got proof of it, she will try to keep your girl away and most likely will succeed because of the booze, it already cost you your job, and you got in trouble for it, see the pattern? Unless you made a huge improvement in your life with evidence to back it…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 03:17 PM
3

I took solace in knowing that since she is a creature of habit she will do to him exactly what she did to me, only this time she has nobody to save her or pick her up when she falls. In the 2 years since we separated, she moved with my eldest stepson, after a few months him and his gf kicked her out, she moved with her parents, after a few months they kicked her out too, neither of her 2 brothers will take her in, she was homeless for a few months, now she found a new boyfriend and moved in with…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 03:03 AM
6

When I told my nexw to leave the house my daughter had chosen to stay with me, so she couldn't force her to come with her either as she was 16 almost 17. I gave my kid the ability to decide when did she want to visit with her mom, or when to talk to her. , I also maintained a record of every text my ex sent, every conversation, every threat , every time she called the police, the report she made to cps, everything was documented and recorded, she didn't know this until the week before the custod…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 06:45 AM
2

The best thing you can do is to remain cordial until the divorce is done. Be the reasonable one it doesn't mean going out for coffee. Nope, but just a simple Grey rock. Thank you should suffice. Do not engage
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 03:21 PM
3

It sucks for the kids that's for sure, now just because you have no control over what she does , it doesn't mean you can't use it to your advantage. I am passive about things myself and during my divorce I did nothing but being non confrontational, my daughter had just turned 17, and decided to live with me, I documented every behavior my ex did, the times that she called her or texted her, (it wasn't hard she only communicated with my kid a handful of times), saved every threat she made, every …
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 09:16 AM
2

It's not that you can't cling to the hype, but you shouldn't. It sucks when your relationship ends, it hurts and it will continue to hurt until it doesn't, it won't magically stop hurting when the divorce is finalized, but it will stop. You are young and I hope you come ahead in terms of the split it at least reasonably ok, having no kids will help as you won't have to deal with her after it, and with her working you might be ok with alimony. Give it time and keep moving forward, my divorce was …
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 08:56 AM
1

Ok as long as you're seeing it and it's not just an act from her
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 05:24 PM
2

You should at least consider that is not depression, but manipulation, that is something that happens all the time, my oldest stepson had a habit before my nex and I met of telling her "you don't love me you hate me" whenever he didn't get his way, this would shock her and would do anything he wanted to make it up to him, he used that very often until his mom and I got married he was 7 , he tried that with me too but I was not buying it, I wondered where did he get that behavior from, as time we…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 04:05 PM
0

Well then in that case you are not empty handed, it might not be nice but, it can be done maybe consult a lawyer and do some research in you state laws, to see your options, some lawyers do free consultations, then you can find legal aid, or look at legal insurance, I used it on my divorce it helped a lot, to reduce the cost, they won't cover the filing fees but in my state I could've requested the court to waive the fee.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 01:28 AM
1

Did you sign a prenup before getting married?
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:48 AM
1

That is a very common thing to happen after a divorce, so don't feel bad about it. You will move on at your own pace. , I was married for almost 19 years before it was finalized, and I'm in no rush to get married again. Maybe date someone, but at the moment, no
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 07:16 PM
1

So listen I can see that you're very passionate about this issue, and I'm not trying to pick an argument, but I have to ask did this happened to you? If so I am sorry that it did I truly am. we as men get accused of abuse all the time and the courts believe it most of the time,if we claim abuse we are laughed out of court, the longer the case goes on the more likely we are to get accused of it again and again until we are broke , and 2 some states are automatically no fault states,
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 07:50 AM
1

Women are not the only ones that file uk?. That been said: The costs for a trial are very high, lawyer, paperwork, court fees, not to mention that the judge could order you to pay for your partners lawyer too, process server, and now you have to prove that they did something, that means private investigators, maybe computer experts, psychological experts, therapists for the kids, living expenses and it only gets higher from there. This makes a divorce very contentious, difficult and that will af…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 07:35 AM
1

That would explain why the cops told me that I couldn't resist her entry to the place we were living in before I made her leave makes sense now thank you
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 07:03 AM
1

My ex wanted us to get a house right about the first time I caught her cheating,I told her no, unless she got a job and contributed to it because it couldn't be done with one income only, come to find out she wanted the house, would kick me out and wanted me to continue to pay for it while she lived there with her boyfriend, her actual words were" I'll make him pay thru the nose" she was after alimony and child support too , it didn't work out for her though , her friends warned me of what she w…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 06:05 PM
1

Mine tried that too, after a while I told her I knew she was doing this and that I wasn't stupid I was not gonna fall for it, after we separated she still called the cops 3 times and sent cps after me, it was a close call but my friends and daughter kept me together
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/23 06:15 AM
2

I was in the same boat eventually I stole a line from the movie xmen, a line from magneto "Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer?" I learned that she was never gonna change or admit any wrongdoing, so arguing with her was pointless
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/23 06:12 AM
15

The first time I filed for divorce my ex wanted to establish rules that only benefited her, such things went against the temporary orders and I didn't budge on them, the next time I filed about 10 years later, she tried the same thing but by now I had prepared myself for it, don't get me wrong she still managed to surprise me, she sent the cops after me 3 times and sent child protection services too, again all in violation of the standard temporary orders, so I requested a hearing, she never sho…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/23 05:59 AM
2

My ex was terrible at housekeeping, when we first me we went to her place, it was a sick a mess that I ended up cleaning up a bit, after we got married she was a sahm, but still wouldn't do anything but playing on the computer or sleep, my oldest stepson would have to make lunch for his siblings when they were in school vacation or the weekends, every apartment we had, got infested with bugs because of it, I had to do the cleaning, cooking, laundry, pay the bills, grocery shopping, etc, the woma…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 07:43 PM
2

Wow an actual woman with standards, boundaries and good communication skills . No it's not manipulation at all, you simply don't want the same things and as such you should move on, she deserves better Either that or she knows something about you that she doesn't trust
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 07:26 PM
1

Add me to the list I had to fight off the same accusations and add a visit from child services claiming I was sexually molesting my daughter, right after the nexw was served with divorce papers and my daughter asked to stay with me
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 01:05 PM
6

Might I suggest an exercise? Take something that represents your marriage call as couple of friends and have an actual burial for said object, if you don't want people around then do it by yourself this might help with the closure you could make it your wedding ring, the divorce papers etc. Something that represents the marriage to you, like the marriage license uk? You will move on when you're ready once you're finished grieving in your own way, not on other people's time-line I was married for…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 06:47 AM
2

I was married for almost 19 years and for right now I don't want to remarry again not because of statistics but because I genuinely don't want to, that might change in time. Marriage when it doesn't work leaves us men angry , broken and poorer that's for sure, but using your statistics you still have a chance that it will work out so you have a decision to make. If you're gonna marry your gf do it for the right reasons, not just because you're lonely or because you do better with someone, that's…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 06:19 AM
1

Depending on what state do you live in alimony can start at 10 years of marriage, so I think she's stalling for time until she can, consult a lawyer for your own safety. My ex at one point was gonna leave me and her plan was to make me wait 2 years till she decided if she was going to divorce me or not, but in reality she knew that in the state we lived in, technically there is no alimony(tx) , so she was playing in establishing residence then file in Indiana so that she could get it There is al…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 01:05 AM
7

If my ex were to call me wanting to meet, I wouldn't want to, after the hell she's put my daughter and myself thru I would know she was trying something so no, even though I know she's not in a good place and I feel bad about it too I really think I wouldn't to much bad blood, You should limit your interactions to things pertaining three kids of there is any otherwise no you shouldn't meet with her. It is a trap,
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 11:10 PM
4

I feel your pain, mine a very passive aggressive, always provoking me to lash out
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 12:06 AM
4

Tbh my issues with my ex had nothing to do with the kids actually it was more her narcissistic tendencies, she had 2 boys by the time we met and we had a daughter, I loved them all the same and only the eldest ever gave me trouble around the time he turned 19 then it was time for him to leave the house anyway so maybe it's not all?
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 11:57 PM
1

I liked mine so much that I couldn't get rid of it, it's a tungsten carbide ring with my favorite shade of blue in it I hadn't wore it in a while, but what I did is I gave it to my daughter, she wears it on a chain around her neck, she also knows that I liked the ring , just hated the spirit on which it was given
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 09:01 AM
2

Oh yeah I heard those stories about California too
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 01:51 AM
3

In Texas spousal support is calculated based on the length of the marriage starting at 10 years I believe and a very strict criteria must be met before its given unless the parties agree to a payment voluntarily, which most people don't unless it's used as a bargaining chip to exchange for lets say the house that's called contractual alimony , One last thing there is a limit on how long you would pay, for a marriage over 30 years the spousal support awarded by the judge wouldn't be more than 10 …
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 01:33 AM
2

I live in Texas, I got divorced here too, so the legal term the court uses is not alimony its spousal support If both parties involved agree to it (which most don't) the judge will accept it but that's strictly voluntary on both sides Spousal support is awarded if a very strict criteria is met and it ask depends on how long you been married on how long it will be, and like another comment said the state is not as generous as some other ones So although legally it's not called alimony, spousal su…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 01:23 AM
1

Consult an lawyer and do research on it My ex was expecting alimony, custody and child support, when she found out she was not getting alimony as Texas is technically a no alimony state, she tried to move to Indiana and make me wait a year or two for her to make up her mind about divorcing me Depending on the laws in your state She can say what she wants it doesn't make it true, in some states alimony is given based on the length of the marriage, you not having kids together helps, I think it ca…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 04:13 PM
1

During my divorce my daughter asked to stay with me she was 16 at the time and I had to look and do research on the subject based on my local laws and there were certain guidelines I had to follow, which they weren't too bad but, as others have pointed out you should do your research about it too about your local agencies, maybe even consult a lawyer, If something happens to the child and it's determined that you knew he was alone and did nothing about it, they could possibly claim neglect, so j…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 05:28 AM
1

I feel your pain, different circumstances, same result after 19 years of marriage it had to end , both my stepsons that I raised from 6 years and 10 months old alongside our daughter, gone they don't talk to me this days, but I did get custody though, it will be 2 years since we separated next month, and her life went to hell soon after leaving, my daughter and I struggle but we are moving along, it will get better just keep doing your thing and don't worry about them that's the hard thing to do…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 12:55 AM
1

I live in Texas and I concur with some of the things that have been said already Infidelity doesn't count, spousal support is only granted on very strict conditions but if it's agreed upon between the parties the judge will go for it Accept that during a divorce you don't get everything you want even under the best of circumstances, so again accept that and find out whatis that you can live with vs what you want, but you either want primary custody or you don't, each have their own benefits and …
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 07:38 PM
4

Based on this post you sir are insane, most of us would dream for a result like yours and you don't want it? I had to fight for my kids, had to put up with fake police reports, fake child services accusations, threats of violence from my nex and her friends, and after the divorce was finalized I got custody and only got about 2 months of cs from her, that's 2 months more that I was expecting and hasn't paid since then, You mean to tell me that you went thru the trouble of the hearings, the finan…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 12:56 AM
1

I went thru a similar situation with my exwife, in my case I felt bad for her and worried about her because I always known she can't take care of herself in her own, she had always needed someone there for her, then I remember the things she did to me and although I feel sad for her situation, after 19 years of marriage I don't want to get involved with her anymore, It takes time to recover, but you should seek professional help somethings are too big for one person and there is no shame on that…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 12:44 AM
5

If my grandfather had gone to therapy, he probably wouldn't have been caught cheating and being divorced by my grandma after having 4 kids with her, for a grand total of 10 kids that he had before being killed James bond would've needed therapy after vesper he struggled with it for a while too You can most definitely gain power from therapy , you find out more about yourself and what makes you weak, so that you become stronger, power over oneself is harder to gain than power over others because …
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 05:20 PM
2

Make sure you are recording the meeting, don't have it in a private place, have as many witnesses as possible for your protection and document every interaction, save every text message, voice-mail and calls. Knowing about the affair won't help you, it will only make things in your head worse, I know that much, there are times I wish I hadn't asked my ex about it, because it only broke my heart and my trust in her I'm sorry that you're going thru this
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 03:04 AM
2

A sahm can make a very convincing case for alimony, she can't keep you out unless you've been violent, document everything and hire a lawyer you're gonna need it
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 02:59 AM
1

Congratulations, that doesn't happen very often, my ex also didn't show up, for the custody hearing, or answered the papers, didn't show up for the prove up hearing either, But don't let your guard down though and keep a copy of the judgements decree handy in case she does show up with the cops demanding whatever it was in dispute, also do some research on what are the rules to file a motion to set aside the judgement in your state,
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 01:32 AM
6

My ex wanted me to wait a year or 2 before she would decide if she wanted to divorce me or stay married, she was planing on leaving Texas for Indiana and take my daughter with her, all this was so that she could establish residency there and file there also I filed the first papers the next day, one of her brothers, her mother and her called me and actually asked that i would let her take the kid out of state I refused and there was nothing they could do about it either
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 04:39 PM
5

Consult a lawyer, retain one because chances are you will need it, and document everything I live in Texas, and my divorce from my now ex-wife was finalized last year. She didn't have a lot of income either so my concern was what I was gonna have to pay to get out, although technically the word alimony doesn't exist in the legal sense it is replaced by spousal support, if she meets the necessary requirements which can be met , if she can prove that she can't earn enough on her own, which can las…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 04:34 PM
1

I have spoken to my ex twice since split up in 11/21 till 06/23 , and both were horrible too ask she did was yell both times I told her to stop by she didn't so I yelled back, I hope that those are the last two times we have contact, I doubt it but I can always hope Heading her voice tbh puts me on edge, I feel a void in the pit on my stomach, and I shake uncontrollably, makes me want to get back on antidepressants When the divorce was finalized, and i found myself walking out of the courthouse …
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 01:17 AM
1

She was very angry with her mom over it, it certainly strained their relationship even further, and yes I was being cheated on, when we separated she had been caught twice already, I caught on the first time fairly quick but the second time I saw coming and she was caught by my daughter
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 11:19 PM
2

I want to wish you good luck sir, My ex was very similar , for years she had tried to get me in trouble claiming I was being abusive to her and the kids, which I wasn't, once she called the cops to report me and tried to have me arrested too just so that she could leave town without having to tell me anything, the cops told her that it to them it looked like it was a difference of opinion on how to discipline the kids and to seek counseling, they never spoke to me, the first time i filled for di…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 05:00 PM
2

As life goes on in a marriage, things change, priorities change, most of us had very antagonistic marriages toward the end, you don't seem to be there yet, the only advise I could give you is before you do anything, find someone to talk to, try counseling single and marriage counseling, this sounds like it's something that can be fixed, someone already pointed out that the grass isn't always greener on the other side, don't do anything rash, it will cost you a lot more than what youre thinking, …
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 09:27 AM
1

I live in Texas and my divorce was finalized without her signing anything granted certain conditions must be met but it happens Depending on your state and family laws, for me my ex she had to be served with the papers and then I had to wait for her to respond to them without me having to talk to her , the lawyer I hired put in a clause in the papers, not sure how enforceable it was but it helped, the lawyer asked in them that she would be made responsible for attorney fees if she dragged it on …
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 03:17 PM
2

I Always knew my nex would move on before me and although I can't be sure, because I don't want to be sure that is, she would only tell me that if it meant see me in pain, to rub it in, to say " I'm better off without you" but again I already knew this After the first 8 years together I found out things about her that made me question her commitment , she admitted to trying to better deal me for a while, she was looking for the next guy before she got rid of me, but when the two guys that she wa…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 04:40 AM
2

No, the last few years of my marriage nearly ended me I tried twice, I didn't want it to happen a third time , my bed was dead for 7 years before we divorced, so without sounding like a jerk it wasn't that good to begin with, my exwife just didn't want me and I wasn't begging, Although I'm not dating anyone I have had a couple of mind blowing ons since then, and I rediscovered the joy of sex since My only regret is that I waited so long to get a divorce but seeing where my ex it's been and where…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 07:43 PM
2

I used to tell my nexw a line from the movie "idiocracy" And that line was ( im paraphrasing) "Lead, follow or get the hell out of the way" she didn't do any of them so I had to move her out of the way figuratively
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 09:24 PM
1

Tbh I wouldn't care to much for her to admit to me the parts that were her fault, but I would love it and would help her out of she were to admit said parts to all the people she told I was to blame, that would make a world of difference and although I wouldn't trust her I would help her
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 09:18 PM
3

I think it did After almost 19 years of marriage I made her leave the house when her second affair was discover, she made my life hell for the next 2 months, she already had the 2 boys when we met they were 6yo and 10 mon we had a daughter together After she left the house, she found out that her ap was not who he said it was and didn't want to play daddy to kids that were not his, so they broke up, she lost her job and couldn't pay her rent or bills, (her landlord called me asking me to pay for…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 06:35 PM
2

I did too your story is very familiar to me, she had no respect for me either but demanded to be respected as the queen of the castle it was painful and living that way it nearly killed me, I had depression and anxiety now days I have ptsd when I hear her voice it sends me in to shock just hearing her voice ugh
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 05:57 PM
3

My ex didn't enforce her visitation either, Imo they like to play the victim and not having their kids around is a sure way to do so, my ex can cry on cue , and had spent the last 2 years telling people I keep our daughter from her, that I'm controlling, and that is turned her against her mom, what she doesn't tell them is that she blocked the kid from all social media and her phone too, that she hadn't tried to contact her even though she's had the same phone number for at least 5 years Two mon…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 05:11 PM
2

I hope everything works out for you. If there is anything that you can take from my experience, take it, and remember, " keep your head about you when all around they are losing theirs"
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 07:12 AM
1

Honestly it's been my experience that people do the things they do because they can, and because they think they have their former partner over a barrel and will have no choice but to give in to them, that was my nex mindset she thought i was gonna roll over and do things her way Knowing this, the lawyer I hired to process my divorce put a couple of lines in the papers to motivate my ex not to stall or make it overly complicated, and it worked there is someone telling her this maybe a bff or a f…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 06:13 AM
1

Don't agree to it , she shopping for the one state that will give her the best deal, hurry up and file yourself otherwise you're screwed, my ex wanted to leave the state and do that she even told me she didn't know if she wanted to stay married or not and that she wanted to wait a year or two before making up her mind, I filed the next day Get ahead of it before you're far behind
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 05:26 AM
4

I live in Texas, and during the divorce it was my exs goal to move out of state to Illinois, which is why I also had a custody hearing, and you're right I got custody of my daughter and I wa told my the judge that I couldn't move other than the county we live in, and only after the divorce to the contiguous counties, During the divorce the only way I could move out of state with my daughter was if I got permission in writing from my ex or with a court order, without it I couldn't go anywhere and…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 05:01 AM
2

My nex she was planning on leaving me and take the kids from Texas to Indiana , we had an agreement that as long as she didn't try to take my kid out of state I wouldn't fight her for custody, that's when she told me that she didn't know if she wanted a divorce or not, that she was gonna wait a year or two before making her mind, I guess she thought I was gonna agree, I didn't and I filed for divorce the next day we didn't follow thru with that filing and stayed but I didn't turn my back on her …
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 01:37 AM
1

Very good advise and very true , I tried to negotiate on good faith with my ex but she wouldn't even meet with me, she wanted everything, custody, retirement, child support, spousal support, you name it she wanted it, I gave her a proposal in writing for a very fair split for the property as we were living in an apartment, ( after her first affair i didn't trusted her enough to get a house) but deep down I knew she wouldn't take it, honestly it was all for show ,I did that so that i could presen…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 11:38 AM
1

Seeing as you just got out of a relationship hoy might not be in the best place to start a new one, at least not a serious one anyway, this might be the rebound date, so just keep it casual, heal first, regain yourself as much as you can, if she walked away like that from her husband, chances are she thinks you're the next target the one that will take care of her now , my exwife tried that a couple of times but the other guys didn't want her for anything other than sex,
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 12:26 PM
2

Sometimes we hear what we want to hear as all humans we do this Even before my divorce I sat down with my now exwife to hash things out on several occasions but she never actually heard anything I said, mostly her approach was to wait me out see she believed she was never wrong and that anything she did I had it coming the last 2 years of the marriage were so bad I simply stopped listening too it happens Idk what the situation is but sometimes we don't want to hear it
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 11:26 AM
3

When someone doesn't want to be with you , nothing you do will change their mind I'm sorry, but it seems like you got the short end of the stick on this one
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 07:03 PM
3

I was married for nearly 19 years it was finalized av year ago last February Healing?idk but for sure I don't want to get married again, I haven't dated and stay home, not really motivated to either, im 48 in to old for the dating scene anymore anyway I hope someday I can heal but who knows, ik I wouldn't take her back good luck to you
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 04:32 PM
2

Good luck to you and remember hope for the best but prepare for the worst
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 03:47 AM
1

I found out that knowing what happened and details did nothing to ease my mind, I learned that some questions are better off not being asked, and some will never satisfy your curiosity, it will not bring you closure it didn't in my case, knowing exactly what she was thinking why she did it and specially her thoughts about me her real thoughts nearly made me end it all they hurted a lot more than not knowing just my opinion though
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 12:35 AM
3

I got lucky I guess The filing fee, a 700 deposit on the lawyer, plus another 3000 afterwards, I never truly trusted her after her first affair and insisted on her being a job to contribute to things in our apartment, she changed jobs every 10 months , When we separated we had no home, no vehicles, just things in the house by the end of it thanks to get not showing up to court, she was afraid of being confronted with the evidence of her calling the cops constantly and sending cps to my place, as…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 12:24 AM
2

She wants you available in case she needs you in case that her furor partner doesn't work out , she doesn't want you to move on because then you're not under her control
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 03:08 PM
2

My now ex had plans for me leading to the first time she got caught cheating, The second time she was planning on leaving while I was at work and make me wait a year or two until she decided if she wanted a divorce or not The third and final time I made her leave and filed for divorce within the month In each time her plans fell thru for one reason or another, by the second time I knew it was just a matter of time before she did it again She told me that she wanted to work it out, but then she w…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 01:37 AM
2

Congratulations keep up doing the work to continue to prove her case wrong, keep your head about you, while all around will lose hers
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 12:40 AM
1

My goal was to make sure it was done in a legal way and for this to be finalized with or without her, and before she left town, so she had to be served, She was served with the papers and the custody hearing summons , on the same day I read the filing my lawyer turned in and in it there was a clause that she would be asking the judge for my ex to pay the lawyer fees if she dragged it on unnecessarily, I'm not sure how much it was truth, but that convinced her to not drag it out. In the end she l…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 11:32 PM
8

I couldn't sleep more than an hour a day or 2 for almost 2 weeks , then I broke down for about 20 minutes, I slept comfortably for the first time right after it , but she didn't ask for a divorce I made her leave the house to be with her lover
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 01:22 AM
4

Im 48 and i was married for almost 19 years and been divorced for a little over 16 months, I don't want to date again for a while, I don't think I could get remarried either, marriage was hell for the last 10 years and I don't want to feel like that again, unless I find the right one, Will I change my mind? Probably for the right person just not right now
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 06:15 AM
1

See I was the one that worked for the first few years and I was on with it, she didn't want to work. Fast forward and things got bad between us she started cheating and I realized that although I strive to fulfill her needs and compromise, she didn't do the same for me, this lead to a very tumultuous decade that it ended in divorce A relationship is not about only one person , it won't work if it's like this If I may not everyone is supposed to be in a relationship maybe you haven't found the ri…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 10:00 PM
1

I was 47 when I got divorced, I got lucky, you should hire a lawyer to explore your options if you want to go thru the divorce, in some states depending on the length of the marriage is the amount of years alimony is awarded and since she's a sahw with no income to support herself I think that you being willing to give her half of entitled is mostly an empty gesture because the judge will make you do that anyway so maybe getting ahead of the curve is smart, but you should rethink your approach, …
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 02:19 PM
1

It took me about a month of taking them on schedule before I saw any effects give it time
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 05:01 PM
2

I put in almost 19 years in, hoping that she would wake up and change, no such luck, she had 2 boys already by the time we got married they were 7 and 1 and we had a daughter together Our life was ok, because I saw everything with rose colored glasses, it lasted about 8 years, when I voice my issues to encourage a discussion, she went out and cheated The next 10 years were hell , the stress was killing me slowly, I developed anxiety and depression and developed ptsd, my diabetes was out of contr…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 04:41 PM
3

You must remember"return of the jedi" when the rebel fleet was about to attack the death star and found out that it was fully operational admiral akbar shouts "it's a trap!" Well this is that, it's a trap she's been testing the waters for a while trying to see where she stood , every time you reciprocated the conversation she pushed further, now you're in a fork on the road , you go her way you're gonna be trapped again and you don't know if you have the strength to get out again, if you go the …
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 04:26 PM
2

Oh yeah very similar boat
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 08:49 PM
11

I was married for nearly 19 years myself got divorced in Feb 2021, we had one kid and raised the 2 she already had by the time we got married, her family disliked me immensely after I stopped giving them the little money I had and instead used it to support my marriage, my ex was caught cheating twice and made my life hell the last 10 years before I filed for divorce, I managed to get custody of our daughter and after the custody hearing she my ex left town, hadn't tried to contact either of us …
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 06:44 PM
2

No it's not that bad, specially if you find the right partner but most of us are part of the 50 percent that ended in divorce there are the other 50 % , so you have a fifty fifty chance to get it right I will tell you that marriage is not easy its hard work, life is complicated enough as it is, and married women are often targeted by sleazy guys, sometimes they will make a mistake just like we will, we are both equally capable of messing up , it's society's standards that determine who's the bad…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 03:17 AM
1

I've been divorced for about a year and a half and although I've thought about dating I just haven't wanted to, nothing to do with women being single moms or not I'm 48 I just haven't wanted to It's scary to start all over again I think I'll be fine on my own, but if I do date, I probably won't get remarried but that could change too I refuse to let the life i had with my ex dictate the rest of my life It would be better to make your life about you than what they did to you I'm just saying
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 03:08 AM
9

I've been there and it nearly kill me, I was so miserable that I tried to end it all, when she found out about it, she didn'tseem to care she threatened to use it to prove I was unstable, you can't fix things by yourself I tried and the result were ten years of unhappiness we were married for almost 19 . When I saw that she didn't care I told myself never again
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 03:38 AM
3

I filed twice The first time because she was taking my kids,leaving the state, and she wanted me to wait a year or two for her to make up her mind on whether she wanted a divorce or not The second time because I had enough of her cheating and abuse, her sicking the police and cps on me. By then I didn't care if she blamed me for it I did learned though that she was furious and to this day still blames me for filling the first time because she was embarrassed by it, she didn't think I would do it…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 04:09 PM
2

Honestly in my opinion getting involved with someone so soon and before the divorce is finalized could potentially look really bad for you in court if it gets out, she could claim that you were cheating all along etc, mine told her friends and family that I did when she was the one cheating also we are not in the best state of mind during the separation, even after the divorce is done so anyone that we get involved with will more than likely get hurt emotionally , you need to use this time to re…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 03:00 PM
1

Ok my suggestion is listen to your lawyer without fail, get your moneys worth from them and again good luck
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 01:49 PM
5

Not legally entitled to inspect your apartment that's for sure, either with or without an agreement, the only way cps would get involved is if she lies to them , then they will show up possibly with the cops, but you're not required to let her in, my now ex called cps on me accusing me of sexual abuse of my daughter after she got the divorce papers, when the agent showed up unannounced and without the police, she asked to speak with my daughter I agreed to let her as long as the ex stayed outsid…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 01:04 AM
1

When I finally divorced my ex-wife, my youngest had just turned 17. It was a very acrimonious divorce, to say the least, but I got lucky I had custody of my daughter. Over the last 10 years of our nearly 19 years of marriage, it was not the healthiest relationship we separated twice. This was the second time that divorce papers were filed Yet each time we split up, things changed, I changed, I was no longer a husband and father, and it was something I had to accept, and it was very hard to do Wh…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 02:09 PM
4

I learned during my first separating that without a custody agreement she could keep me from seeing the kids and she could take them out of state too, This was confirmed during our second separation when I filed for divorce I got something called temporary orders that prevented my ex from taking them out of state Finally during my third and final separation the kids chose to stay with me and refused to go spend time with her by then they were older than 15 and could decide as long a there was no…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 06:29 AM
2

Depending on your state that is the fastest easiest divorce there is, document things and get it filed before either one of you change your mind, as long as she agreed to it On her own free will it can be enforce and the judge will sign on it after asking questions to see if she did it willingly
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 04:29 PM
6

Then I'm sorry to tell you that because you bought it together the judge will not side with you on this , you might be better off paying her off to get her to go away, as it became joint property, just make sure you make it legal and have her sign an agreement on what your doing and have it notarized with witnesses As far as the embryo you're gonna need a court order to have it disposed of since it's gonna be considered partly hers, and you wouldn't be able to do that without her, but I would ad…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 04:20 PM
1

I wanted to do something similar during my divorce but I was advised against it by my lawyer, she was on my medical insurance and I couldn't remove her from it either, granted the situation is different than yours as your separated, so it all comes down to how much you trust her because she could take half the money in your bank account and there is nothing you can do about it, she could put you in debt severely and again nothing you can do about it, you will be responsible for any debts incurre…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 07:12 AM
1

Yeah I agree but lying about it can be just as bad, i knew this one guy who reduced the amount of hours he was working in order to show that he wasn't making that much, I don't think he was ever called on that, but it depends on many other things too
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 07:25 PM
1

Giving misleading information in court can have repercussions for you most definitely tall to your lawyer begot doing that, but as it was said before they consider both current income and potential income when they calculate child support and alimony not expenses
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 06:55 PM
3

As a divorced dad myself who went thru something similar only my kids was a little older im truly sorry but you seem to have your eyes open and are in a good place and doing the work already that's the easy part Children need a stable parent someone they can trust and that gives them consistency, that will help them so much more as they grow up, continue to reaffirm that their mom will see them when she can When my ex left she had a boyfriend already and she left our daughter with me and my spec…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 02:24 PM
3

Exactly and ik my ex her goal was to make me pay thru the nose those were her words, wanted to kick me out of the house to move in her boyfriend, and make me pay everything, I got lucky I got out with some damage but not at zero, but the state wants someone else to pay for it Other than then specially if children are involved
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 06:07 AM
2

I wish I could say I did but honestly I didn't it got better over time my divorce was finalized in Feb of 22, we were married nearly 19 years and we had a daughter together and I raised the 2 sons she had by the time we got married back then they were 6 years and 10 months You are correct the kids were the main reason why I kept trying, why I stayed so long, and it nearly killed me, this days my daughter and I we have bonded and have always been close that is my prize that she's ok that she grew…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 04:12 PM
1

The moment of realization for me came when I asked her if she had been looking to better deal me for a while and she said yes
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 02:16 PM
1

In my case it wasn't about her wanting sex but she was building a charge for dv, it is a potentially dangerous situation you might consider moving out or staying with friends or family for a while
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 02:05 PM
2

I'm my case I had to try to salvage the marriage, I never thought I would stay with someone that cheats on me, I was wrong I did stay, but I did it so that I had no regrets when and if I left, I also gave her a second chance, and a third that was enough for me Today I can look back and say that I really did try and not have regrets about it, not having to deal with what ifs, and once that was accepted, then move on, my ex still doesn't think she did anything wrong and that I'm to blame, it's not…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 01:55 PM
1

When I was going thru my divorce , my then minor daughter asked to stay with me I agreed , my exwife didn't like it and tried to get me in trouble too, but I was lucky , when her plan to leave the state was found out, my lawyer told me not to let my daughter visit with her mom too since there was no custody agreement in place I could do nothing if she decided to take her, at the same time, she couldn't force me to give my daughter to her, it's all in the timing and in the paperwork But if she le…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 11:51 AM
1

Not the best idea though, the first time I moved out because she called the police claiming child abuse, she wanted me arrested so that she could leave the state with her boyfriend and with our daughter, The second time(yes, there was a second time ik I was stupid) I made her leave the house she still called the cops and cps as our daughter asked to stay with me and refused to visit her mom, as she was afraid of mom's new bf , My point is you have to be careful because depending on how she is yo…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 11:29 AM
1

I was trying to have my ex-wife served at her home, but then she escalated things while we were separated by calling the police and cps, and then she hid But the process server found her at her job and served her with the divorce papers and a custody hearing summons, I couldn't get a restraining order but she was so mad that she got them at work, she cussed me out she was very offended that I dared to file for divorce even though she was the one cheating
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 10:54 AM
1

As men, we are not supposed to show emotion, which makes women believe that we don't have any, but we do, and because we keep them bottled up, they get stronger and more intense , more difficult to deal with so getting rid of them is not easy and it takes time, but it can be done, it hurts that's for sure Although I'm blocked on social media from my exwife i still see what she's doing, what's going on in her life not because i want to gloat or because im stalking her i just wanted to know, would…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 09:35 AM
3

It is normal. It scars you. I find it very difficult to connect with anyone really, I've been divorced for a little over a year, and I don't want to date, let alone remarry any time soon,
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 09:21 AM
3

No bashing intended but you must hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I tried to have a civilized divorce with my now ex but she made it so unnecessarily complicated, we have a daughter together, who is now 18 , we separated in 21 and the divorce was finalized in 22. This was after nearly 19 years of marriage ,I tried to be civilized under the circumstances but she wouldn't have it, her idea of a compromise was that she should get everything, custody, child support, alimony, my 401k, to …
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 10:25 PM
2

Since you're divorced already you shouldn't concern yourself with what she does or doesn't do, not your coop not your poop, unless it endangers the kids ignore it, besides you already knew the way she was before this, you were married to her
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 12:33 AM
3

I went the opposite direction, we didn't have a home but after discovering her first affair and the fallout I came to the realization that she was going to try to take everything she could possibly take and to quote her words " make me pay thru the nose" she was planning on moving in her bf in to our place and kick me out, but he didn't want to be daddy he just wanted to get sex, the kids were young so I tried to work it out for their sake , she thought that she had me under her thumb, but I dis…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 07:40 PM
1

Realistically unless you have proof that she's unfit to be a parent you're at the mercy of the court regardless of who files first My now ex tried using threats to get her way and after a while I just said to her go ahead, I called her bluff, and I realized that she was using those tactics to provoke a negative reaction from me to help her case so that she could have me arrested and she could take my daughter out of state , but I didn't fall for it Threats can be used as manipulation tactics , d…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 01:39 AM
1

My divorce was finalized in Feb of 22, we were married for almost 19 years by then, since then I realized that I didn't want to date, I still don't, maybe for the right person I would. It's almost as if the that part of your soul that wants it gets ripped out of you and stomped to death ,you simply don't want to go thru that again and after seeing all the toxic femininity posts and videos out there you don't want to take that chance again, I hope it gets better, in my case it was the hell that s…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 02:43 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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