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darealyst Archive

View 0 posts and 213 comments by darealyst on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Women my age that are able to arouse me (and are single) are few and far between. I see a hot 25 year old and of course I feel myself stirring, but I don't want the hassle of a relationship with them. I meet a woman when I feel I need to and bang a few times but I never really feel drawn to commitment. I just want arm candy haha. I don't think I could ever give up solo travel and good luck keeping your 45 year old girlfriend when you tell her you're f-ing off to Japan for a month without her. As…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 01:55 PM
2

You're kind of being a doormat. Take back your key, limit all convo to logistics for the kids, and for god sakes start leaving the house.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 09:57 PM
1

Sounds like you need to study those 11 factors and prepare objections to her questioning your capacity for every single one. You really couldn't sus that out on your own?
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 09:45 PM
3

You quit claim your name off the deed before the mortgage was paid out? Refinance was not part of your decree? You are going to court, get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 08:54 PM
8

I'm going to be crude: He's buying your ex-wifes pussy by sucking up to your son. Enjoy the free day care, let your son enjoy the free shit from the guy banging his mom. If you're 50/50 there is no reason freebabysitter should intimidate you at all. You are present in his life, and you made him. When she gets tired of him he will disappear, or hell be around for good, doing all the shit work with no future rights.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 08:37 PM
2

She was probably lying about you when you were still together tbh
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 06:26 PM
1

I demanded 50/50 from day one, she wanted 1 supervised visit per week no overnights. I won She wanted hundreds of thousands in settlement funds, I wanted to split assets 50/50. I won. She wanted spousal support, I refused because our marriage was so short. I won. She wanted an imputed income for me 150K more than I made. I refused. I won. When someone starts with insane demands and will not compromise, all I could do is sit back, stay reasonable, and wait it out since the divorce laws were on my…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 01:34 PM
6

You should start with seeking 50/50 and compromise on that later. You will not have a low-conflcit split, I guarantee you that. I was not the initiator but I was part of a high-income, young-kids situation (2 and 8 months) and a short marriage of 3 years. It took more than 2 years to resolve.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 07:43 PM
3

Chasing toddlers in your 40s is definitely hard on the back hahah.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 04:41 PM
2

My sister herself cheated on her own husband multiple times. Imagine my shock Pure projection by your sis.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 04:34 PM
6

Your timeline is the only one that matters, you're doing the right things. They have to accept that. I've broken up with 2 women since divorce who wanted to ingrain themselves into my life way too quickly. Women starting around their late 30s see a high earning man like me with 2 young kids that look like them and think "premade family, just insert MEEEEEE"
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 02:46 PM
3

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 04:52 PM
1

I have found pleasantries (even if insincere) very effective at disarming people. Divorce is no different.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 02:46 PM
1

I screwed a few women immediately after the breakup but after that 1 year period I haven't dated since. Being over 40 when divorced certainly helps. I have the kids, I have the life. Other than the occasional fit of horniness there isn't much drawing me to dating anymore. Financially I'm on a 10 year retirement track even post-divorce so why mess with that?
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 02:41 PM
7

welcome sister Most of my favourite women in my life are ones I am either related to, or are queer. Funny how that works.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 02:34 PM
11

thats called "marking your territory" and it will end at the exact moment she decides to fuck somebody else. You can allow her to crowd out other women and keep you on a string or you can move on.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 07:08 PM
3

ick
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 09:44 PM
1

you stick out like sore thumbs
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 09:10 PM
2

You did well. When my exwife said she was moving out the first thing I did was call a lawyer. The second was calling a realtor The third was closing the joint credit card. All on the same day.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 05:16 PM
4

Being a 50% parent is quite frankly, a gift. I get all the benefits of my kids when they are with me, and total independence when they aren't. As long as the kids' outcome can be the best it can be given the circumstances, I'm happier divorced. 1000 times over. Better home, better job, better relationship with the kids, free time, no more dead bedroom and financially recovered.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 02:42 PM
1

Hahah it happens bro. Back in Dec 2024 I was horny as shit and invited her to look at Christmas lights and she accepted and then I went on some long winded conversation trying to feel her out for a hookup. She laughed at me over the phone and I snapped out of it immediately. Made for a very awkward meetup because I still had her come along to look at Christmas Lights with the kids a week or so later. Once I got laid after the Christmas season I just had to look back on it and laugh in embarassme…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 02:28 PM
3

Not even a day. She had a melty when after she moved out I didn't even speak to her for a month outside of logistics for the kids. Bizzarrely she seemed incredibly hurt that as soon as she moved out I was enjoying my peace. She's done everything she can since then to interrupt my peace, but it doesn't really work. Maybe for an hour or two I get riled up but then I'm back to feeling goddamn good.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 02:45 PM
5

facts of life I guess. blood is always thicker.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 06:33 PM
1

Went to Japan for 3 weeks solo. It was absolutely amazing and I can't wait to go back.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 03:29 AM
2

yep, this was me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 04:40 PM
1

How did you meet your ex wife?
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 09:18 PM
0

luck and paying close attention to indicators of interest. Also shotgunning online dating. Get professional photos or use AI to touch up your real photos so they dont look grainy or hard to see your face.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 06:55 PM
7

4months or so? Said she was leaving in September, she didn't move out for 2 months, then it was selling the house, then Christmas. Once I was in my new place the following January I started dating. Just casual and sleeping together, I have no intention to remarry. That usually puts a time limit on dating them and they/I move on after 3-4 months. Ex wife probably cheated but I have no proof of with whom. I did find missing condoms, a secret second cell phone, and constantly staying out late in th…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 09:25 PM
5

So you've already got him to pay you and you're already snooping through his personal items to gain leverage. If he only knew what "amicable" with you is going to look like in 3-6 months.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 06:38 PM
2

sage
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 01:08 AM
1

Nope. None of it. I know my kids' mom is drugged up the wazoo, the online medical portal that we both use for our kids with the provincial health regulator even has a flag on her that says "mental illness - confidential" so I don't know exactly what brain problem she is current suffering from, must be severe though.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 12:44 AM
1

magic snatch
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 12:19 AM
1

i caught an STD from some girl i met on the apps.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 02:10 PM
5

How about getting some respect for yourself? Also get your bag girl get that alimony and child support.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 06:45 PM
1

Yeah this. No matter how much a trainwreck my kids' mom is she will never let a crack show. Too much pride and a gigantic ego.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 06:22 PM
2

Reminds me of Sharon Stone in Casino
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 03:05 AM
2

Suicide is sudden, ideation is already a red flag. Stay vigilant. It won't creep up, there won't be a warning, you probably won't see it coming because suicidal people usually "bounce" their mood before they do it. Keep doing what you are doing but do not start to let your guard down if he seems to be improving, that is the danger zone.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 05:20 PM
-3

I am on the other side of this one so I understand where the kids' mom is coming from. My kids' mom takes them for doctors appointments and vaccinations without consulting me, and I am pro-vaccine. But I am a 50/50 parent and I am entitled to know all medical procedures the children undergo. obviously people only read the first sentence lol
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 05:11 PM
14

Are those your words or the words that have been pounded into you by your ex wife?
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 10:06 PM
3

I didn't see what you wrote before it was removed, but I imagine it was exactly what I screamed at my windshield that day.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 09:26 PM
6

For me it was 2 days after christmas when I got our schedule screwed up and picked the kids up from daycare on the wrong day, and she immediately threatened to report me to the police for parental kidnapping. There was no going back after that. No apology can ever fix that, not that I'll get one.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 08:01 PM
7

hahah samesies bro. Should have stuck to goth girls. The one "Becky" I ever date I end up marrying and turns out to have way more things wrong in her brain than any suicidegirl stereotype could ever imagine having. Sadly goth doesn't look very good on a 45 year old woman, or man frankly.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 10:04 PM
4

I'm made of much sterner stuff than I ever thought I was. I impressed everyone around me, including myself.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 05:56 PM
1

I find her annoying and unreliable, no other strong feelings than that anymore really.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 05:53 PM
1

oh yeah that isnt a workable situation at all. 4 people in a room? Not biologically related to 2 of them? Nah.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 09:05 PM
1

Managing a situationship for a man is a delicate balance between maximizing sex while minimizing falling in love. When a woman starts to show signs of falling in love, you have to pull back, same as when I start to "catch feelings".
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 07:54 PM
1

Truly the only thing that sucks worse than when I was married is that I cannot schedule playdates with my kids because married men offload that kind of thing to their wives who are (understandably) skeptical of hanging out with a good looking, actively involved single dad who makes their own husbands look like a bunch of lazy dumbasses. Even some husbands won't let them have playdates with me because I suspect they think I want to fuck their wives.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 07:53 PM
1

I never bring up my divorce unless someone specifically asks about it. And I usually follow it up with "but whatever, can't do anything about it now" and change the subject. People appreciate being able to feel like they're helping, they also appreciate that you don't want it to be the topic of conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 07:27 PM
3

lovebombing
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 06:09 PM
3

I probably would yeah. People have a right to know if they are being taken advantage of even if they are strangers. Guess why I failed at being a car salesman?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 10:18 PM
7

You stop rehearsing your side of a conflict in the shower. Yeah this is a big one. When you stop litigating things when nobody is around. My windshield heard plenty of it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 10:14 PM
1

Sometimes advice feels like a baseball bat to the back of the head its so heavy handed. Surely you can't advocate for bad advice on a forum like reddit.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 05:49 PM
4

King baby. both my kids like crawling in there sometimes so I need space for 3 + cats
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 05:43 PM
2

Her own sister called her a bridezilla She threatened to call the wedding off if I didn't pay for a day-of coordinator after she insisted on planning the wedding herself because she wanted it to be "perfect" and overwhelmed herself. On our first trip as a married couple I got covid and she was mad at and blamed me for missing out on sight seeing because I had a 42 fever and couldn't leave the hotelroom. I caught it because I had to share a van ride from Florence to Naples with her family, whom r…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 05:48 PM
7

Its really tough to justify dating after 45. I just can't get attracted to women my age, and I don't want some younger woman that wants to bring half-siblings into my world. A 30 something fwb is about all I can really justify.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 10:15 PM
1

My ex wanted me to commit suicide, she was quite open about her joy at the idea of me being dead. Recommended to me once if I was struggling to consider MAID.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 10:27 PM
3

No marriage No cohabitation No stepchildren No half-siblings for my kids No interfering with my 50% parenting time That limits my dating pool pretty badly so I accept some things I may not have accepted in the past. But overall things are working out well for me. Being up front really does help. I've done a lot of work both on my physical appearance and my personality (forced myself to be more outgoing and bold) and quite frankly I wish I would have done it sooner because there are plenty of att…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 07:56 PM
2

Listen to your lawyer. Keep your bill down.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 08:56 PM
6

Hahaha yeah its a circus. Something terrible has happened to milennial women and I'm not sure it is going to get better.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 06:23 PM
1

What ended up happening with her "reconciliation" attempt through her lawyer? Did it turn out to be a tactic?
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 12:05 AM
4

The cynic in me says you are getting along because she's getting everything she wants from you while she makes her plans in the background with a lawyer and likely another man. And as soon as you start asserting yourself your breakup will degenerate instantly. I had 2 months of this level of amicability right up until the police threats and demands for money began. We now barely interact and only through text or email 2 years later. But maybe I'm wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 05:04 PM
3

My year + of growth lead to me realizing that I am not a relationship person at this point in my life. I have 2 young kids and i have them 50% of the time. All i really want at this time is a woman that will keep me company, keep me motivated and keep my balls empty. What she does when I'm not with her is not my concern. I've found that and it is working for me and I think also for her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 10:18 PM
1

I max out at a glass of wine (or cocktail) and splitting a dessert on a first date. For some reason coffee and a pastry is a no-no but spending the same at some nonsense restaurant on a glass of house red and a chocolate lava cake with 2 spoons gets them hot and bothered.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 12:47 AM
2

lol
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 09:35 PM
1

Many say gym but I would make it a wider recommendation of "self-improvement." Physical fitness is a key part because it releases the positive hormones you need to get yourself back. But you are a social, spiritual, and intellectual animal too. Do not neglect those aspects of yourself as part of your healing journey. Find your zen space, learn a hobby, expand your intellectual borders, be friendly to everyone around you. It helps. I went from being known as the office asshole when my marriage wa…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 06:41 PM
6

I notice the same thing as every discussion board: There are a few power-users who are in every comment chain in every thread spewing the biggest vitriol and extreme positions because they are terminally online weirdos. /r/divorce is unique in that most of them are bitter, divorced women.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 06:37 PM
1

She's definitely playing with fire. Burn down her marriage to maybe find a sperm donor or baby-trap a miserable husband. She could easily end up 40, alone, and perimenopausal. Either way I don't think you two are meant to be. If she wants kids that badly and you don't, let her go man.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 09:43 PM
4

I think the walls of text are therapeutic and it gives men back their grounding. Its funny women say men don't talk about their feelings and yet men write essays on our own feelings working through our deepest thoughts and motivations on here daily. They just never bother to listen.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:45 PM
1

She only ever cried when she didn't get her way. I never saw her actually sad, only weaponizing her tears to try and get what she wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 09:02 PM
3

Its a wave. The first time you get mad, it lasts 2 months, the next time 1 month, the next, 2 weeks. And so on. Eventually its all done and you don't get mad anymore. Keep your eyes on the finish line.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 07:59 PM
3

Be proud of yourself. Those girls are in good hands.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 06:27 PM
-1

doormat, wimp, cuck, take your pick.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 05:21 PM
2

This. Fight for your child.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 09:54 PM
1

How long have you been with this person?
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 06:29 PM
5

No judge is going to go against the wishes of a 17 year old. I wouldn't even pay a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 06:24 PM
8

You've set yourself up for a silver bullet if she decides to do so. I honestly don't think this is a good idea. First thing I did when we split was call my lawyer, call my bank, and call my realtor. House was up for sale before she even moved out.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 06:15 PM
1

We are not amicable enough to do this kind of thing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 04:19 PM
1

Early on I fantasized about her getting a terminal illness and asking her to move back in with me "to be close to the kids" but actually so I could watch her rot away.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 05:48 PM
1

lawyered up would be my guess. Enjoy the calm because it isn't going to last long.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 01:26 AM
2

I don't think I'll ever really know. Probably cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 03:32 PM
3

Performance anxiety was the biggest issue. Took 2 evenings of going down on her because the little solider wasn't cooperating before I woke up in the middle of the night with the mother of all hardons and she rolled me on top of her. From there it was much better.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 01:47 PM
3

Did you put Nair on your testicles?
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 04:50 PM
3

In my jurisdiction she would be paying her proportional share of child expenses (called section 7 expenses) which means she would be paying significantly more than you would. In addition, child support is based on a pooled percentage of total income of both parents combined, which also means she would be paying you a significant amount of child support. In my jurisdiction anyway you would be solidly fucking yourself over by agreeing to that arrangement.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 02:07 AM
1

Whaaa bro youre getting fuccckkked
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 12:06 AM
5

she needs to refill her wallet. That can be interpreted a number of ways haha.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 09:05 PM
10

You get divorce advice in a divorce subreddit. If divorce is not what you want my advice is to ask in a different place.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 08:20 PM
21

Doing it through a lawyer is the biggest red flag of all that she isn't serious about it. Couldn't pick up the phone? First instinct is tactic. Tell her let's finalize everything and then have dinner. Say its a clean slate and we can leave all of our baggage behind. If she balks you know its bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 05:05 PM
3

For me? Day 1
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 02:41 AM
2

When intimacy becomes their main currency, you start to realize how little effort they put into anything else. The partnership feels one-sided. You find yourself with someone who thinks you should feel lucky to be with them and that you owe them for being intimate with you. Yup. I got married because I was an older man who wanted a family and met a younger woman with a voracious sexual appetite. I did not pick well but I will never regret the gift of my children.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 08:30 PM
1

stick out like sore thumbs.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 05:04 PM
1

Well just remember if she has a bank account, and it collects interest, there's a tax slip issued for it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 09:48 PM
1

This is something a lot of men need to accept. You aren't that different than you were back then, unless you were grappling with substance abuse or mental health or something. You acted the way you did in the circumstances you are in. I've had a couple of those moments when I'm like "yeah I probably could have done X" but you know what? I didn't do those things at the time because I was checked out. And her attitude brought me to that point. Insert me back into that situation and time and I woul…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 05:30 PM
1

"nope, she was great" just to twist that knife lol
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 05:26 PM
1

Not going to put my account in jeopardy by giving you my actual feelings. I am glad you are doing better.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 02:21 PM
2

She must have that magic pussy to keep you putting up with that much bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:22 AM
2

"4 Months into her wanting to separate." "I said you have a lawyer? She came back well you do." Classic DARVO
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 03:18 PM
3

I wrapped myself in diagnostic criteria to "explain" things when I got divorced, she was X, she is Y, so I need to do Z. Eventually I realized I didn't need diagnosis staring at personality profiles like a diviner stares at chicken guts. She didn't have a personality disorder, she was just a selfish asshole. I just post this to serve as a warning to some who might be seeking explanations when none can be found.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 09:34 PM
1

Where/how did you meet?
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 09:14 PM
1

I don't think 1 month divorced from a 13 year marriage is sufficient time, but its your decision to make. I bed hopped for a little bit but dating I haven't done, and I am only 6 months out.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 06:15 PM
1

If you have teenage kids and you're afraid of losing them then you need to identify why that threat exists and address it. Were you a dad who wasn't around much? Did she spend all the time with the kids while you were working? I don't often see dads of older kids being afraid of losing them because their old enough that you should have developed independent relationships with them by now. A 3 year old is tougher but still very very possible.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 02:35 PM
13

Narcissist = calmly and assertively telling her I won't do what she demands of me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 02:51 AM
2

My sympathy for the innocent cats. They didn't ask for this.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 02:32 AM
19

In hindsight it was embarrassing and I'm ashamed of it but my final attempt at begging was what finally broke her spell over me. Her reaction was cruel, over the top and unnecessary and it didn't take me more than a few hours to have a sudden, beautiful moment of clarity that this person was a scum bag and I was free.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 02:26 AM
1

Did you get a prostate exam?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 02:23 AM
5

Yeah i suspect many especially boomers are the unhappily married type. and millennials the "yes dear no dear honey do list" simps.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 01:28 PM
18

When we split all I wanted was to bed her again. I came to realize it was because I wanted to control HER. With that realization I had to let go of that feeling because it was toxic. I resolved that I would never, ever sleep with her again. After our divorce she starts touching me at exchanges (I had lost 40 lbs by then and had done nothing but lift weights for 6 months straight) and flirting and I was utterly repulsed by it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 09:22 PM
1

ya just a little lmao
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 04:26 PM
8

50/50 but honestly I think she wants less parenting time but will never admit it because that would be a "loss" in her eyes to me and that can never be allowed to happen haha. Her family would definitely look down on her if she did. So instead she answers the door at exchange looking like grim death and smelling like the bar twice a week. Every time the kids come to me they are exhausted and sleep for 12 hours and eat like horses.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 12:16 AM
1

I get it. I'm a blabbermouth too. Its hard to keep your mouth shut, but you have to!
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 12:11 AM
21

what do women love to call that? weaponized incompetence?
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 01:21 AM
1

Its not your business anymore. If you don't have kids with her you don't owe her anything. She wants time away to find a new man while you wait on the backburner. Don't fall for the appeal to your protective instincts. Its a play. A tactic.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 09:53 AM
8

Its been fine. Honestly the women are there and when i want one i can have one. But i increasingly find it more trouble than its worth. I got laid a few times and then took a break. Then back again. I already have kids so i dont need to make any compromises anymore which is a good feeling. But it also means 99% of women are more trouble than theyre worth beyond the bedroom. EDIT: Early 40s in athletic shape divorced for 9 months.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 09:46 AM
3

Wow thats awful. Even in feminist canada alimony is deductable to the payer and taxable to the recipient.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 02:31 PM
2

Yeah that is of course an ideal option for him, best case scenario since it gets him immediate cash and off the mortgage for the purposes of his next home. But from what I've seen of the other posts dad is trying to appeal to his emotions to get his darling little princess her perfect divorce and as soon as he stands up to dad, he'll go nuclear on him and it will get dragged out as long as possible. I get the feeling dad has been involving himself in their marriage the whole time, and darling mr…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 05:19 PM
1

Its not as easy as you think to hide money because if you put your money in a secret bank account, you'll receive a tax slip for the interest earned on it. Which is going to show up on your tax return which will have to be disclosed, and the account is detected from there. And any assets of course have a value. Think the movie "Brewsters Millions". That's why bonds used to be so good to hide money because you could go into a bank, buy the certs with cash and hide them in a safety deposit box som…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 04:47 PM
19

Nope. Dad is trying to fuck you over, him thanking you for giving him info is the proof. So stop doing that. Force a sale or an equity buy out. This likely cannot be done until a final settlement though.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 04:25 PM
8

On an initial consult you won't need all that much immediately. Just a general idea of your situation martially, monetarily and what your end goal is. They are likely going to want all those documents electronically anyway, and you will too, as it will keep your billings down by not having a legal assistant sorting through your paperwork and scanning it into the electronic file.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 03:54 PM
2

They stick out like sore thumbs when they come here.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 02:52 PM
10

Would you want your son to live like this?
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 02:25 PM
2

You're not going to get a random erection for no reason. More it helps along the natural process already there. This is true OP its not like you'll be able to get a no-hands erection from a land whale off bumble. You still need to be aroused and stimulated, if you've jacked off right before the date you can't beat the refractory period. That said, if this is what you DO want, you will need TRT. Which even in middle age, DOES get me to pop unwanted boners in the middle of the day in embarrassing …
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 02:18 PM
4

Divorce is genetic. Her mother left me. Her mothers mother left her grandfather. I am sadly reconciled to that possibility.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 09:54 PM
5

she will hit me. I love her to death, Bro
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 02:03 PM
7

Warn her and expect her to make something up about you to even it up. You know nothing you knew nothing you play dumb!
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 04:10 AM
15

Thanks for the update. I think you should still deal with the threats made against you by your former brother-in-law.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 09:09 PM
1

How did it turn out?
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 03:10 AM
8

Well one way or another everything will change on Tuesday. Be careful regarding the brother he sounds like he might try to kill you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:42 PM
1

Good song
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 03:57 AM
6

this. Give him a heads up so anything he hears is coloured by "see? I told you she was crazy!"
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 07:02 PM
18

Masturbation is a symptom not a cause
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 03:47 PM
2

I've been here I had road rage for a few months. I realized it wasn't the other drivers, it was me. Thank God it never turned into anything except me swearing at my steering wheel.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 03:35 PM
7

At some point she knew how to use her body in the right ways to satisfy you enough to marry her. You shouldn't be surprised your loins would still want access to her. Those neuron connections will pass when new connections are made. AKA time to go get laid my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 03:29 PM
2

I feel you were right in your original assessment, she doesn't mean to get back together. She doesn't want you but doesn't want you to be with anyone else. Its a sick mentality that a lot of people have. She will forget about it in a month or two, just like you said, wait it out.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 03:26 AM
6

115lbs is incredible. I've lost 45 and people say they barely recognize me, couldn't imagine how different you must look.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 02:57 AM
4

5 years is a long time to sit in your feelings man I think its time to talk to someone.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 03:23 AM
2

No. She will love my children more than any other woman ever will but no, my exwife was not the woman that made me feel like i could never replace her. That girl died in a car accident when i was 22.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 10:35 PM
8

Yeah, unfortunately the woman who made the video gives no real advice about how to deal with women like this other than "put up with it" Basically the same man up bullshit repeated by every person that's overdosed on so many red pills that they've horseshoed themselves back to lifting all responsibility and accountability from women because they can't help themselves and offloading it onto a man.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 02:36 AM
4

Hah the army of in laws and relatives plotting her escape in the background happened to me too. Odd that in the end none of them offered her a home to stay in and she had to move in with her 94 year old grandmother in a mouse dropping infested dump.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 08:45 PM
20

For me the mask was who she was during the marriage. I have the real person now.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 06:06 PM
10

I was reading a female dating advice discussion and one of them said without a hint of self awareness that asking to split the cheque is a sign that a man is a narcissist.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 02:34 PM
10

Men who are probably better physically than me. From what I've seen of the reddit polyamorous community, I sincerely doubt that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 05:53 PM
1

This is why I have you on my friends list.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 05:50 PM
2

More than likely she is going to spin it into a win for herself in some way to protect her ego and you won't get the catharsis you are seeking at all.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 05:48 PM
8

Its the cold and the dark that get me. Dec/Jan/Feb were always the worst months for me since I was a teenager.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 09:03 PM
3

Sounds like this dude got love bombed for 6 months until she dropped her mask. I agree. In hindsight I was lovebombed but it took about 2 years for the real person to emerge. But that first six months. Multiple times a day, any way I wanted it. Hard to not get stars in your eyes.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 08:51 PM
2

On the other end of the spectrum songs i hated because of their link to past failed relationships are good again. i can finally listen to "Here without you" by three doors down and not get sad about my college gf. Solid song
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 10:09 AM
1

I hope it didn't come across as me saying those words, just speculating.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 03:27 AM
3

Was it a jab? Like, good luck finding someone better to replace me? I would guess this. Something like "I'm too good for you, you should find someone more in your league"
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 02:07 AM
11

Id tell her all communication goes through email because "won't take no for an answer" would get you a visit from the police if you had said it to her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 11:44 PM
40

Not at all. Everyone keeps saying to me "she's going to wake up in 5 years and realize the mistake she's made and she's going to beg you to come back." Sorry, I was married to her, I know her better than that. She has never been someone to regret a single decision no matter how wrong it turned out to be, nor is she intellectually capable of that level of introspection.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 09:28 PM
2

I did this for 3 months before she moved into her grandmothers house. She was a petty, vindictive bully who made life into a living hell the entire time and by the end I was so over her I bought an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen for myself to celebrate. She made herself so easy to hate that I would never, ever want her back after that. And she has been testing the waters lately either for a hookup or something more. Touching me and wanting more hugs in front of the kids, trying to flirt in text…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 09:17 PM
3

Well who wouldn't be pumped up after reading that?
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 06:52 PM
3

Whenever someone wants to talk about my divorce i change the subject except my parents i guess. Nothing turns me off more than a woman I'm on a date with who wants me to dig up the corpse of my marriage for a cadaver synod. Even worse when they try to play devils advocate.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 03:56 PM
7

Mine were less than a year old and 2 when we split up. They barely noticed but eventually theyll have to reconcile the fact theyve never known an intact home with both their parents when they are older. I'll do whatever is necessary to help them through it because their mother is more interested in partying and sleeping around and i fear for my kids she may end up a deadbeat mom.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 11:13 PM
2

Sounds like shes trying to "fix" you. She wants to be the one that your pour your emotions (and semen) into. Beware of trauma bonding amd codependency during this period. I had sex a couple times but no relationships during the period before things are final.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 01:45 PM
1

I tell ya man I've never subscribed to the whole rollo tomassi dance like a monkey and live a life that isnt your own performance. Constantly managing your frame. Using hot cold and push pull to elicit trauma bonding in your wifes subconscious. Being aloof and unpredictable with her and using random interval reinforcement like how casinos get people addicted to gambling. Exhausting.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 08:19 AM
2

Must feel good to be at this point of indifference. Congrats.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 02:23 PM
1

leave her for the sake of your kids
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 02:15 AM
2

I heard about that book about a decade ago when i read 4 hour body by tim ferrris.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 05:28 AM
2

If the home is in foreclosure you probably don't get to determine what happens with it. Children, alimony, and the primary residence are the biggest reasons you need a lawyer for divorce. You have 2/3 of those reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 02:37 AM
3

Every single mother I've encountered has ran the same script that my ex wife threw at me as soon as they have the chance to bitch about their ex. As soon as I hear it I just think that her ex is probably a cooler person to hang out with than she is and has a much more believable story to tell. But that wouldn't stop me from sleeping with them.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 02:28 AM
1

run club. cardio bunnies ftw
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 02:23 AM
3

I see everything as predicated upon her coming to visit you. Period. If she’s unwilling to even consider that, I see a selfish woman who will divorce you either way. I agree with this 100%
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 07:45 PM
1

Or quit your job and go back. Be a SAHD and send her to work. Sorry hon, you jacked up our plan and I lost my job so we’re in a hell of a pickle we’re going to have to sort out together. This is probably the best move but guaranteed she will find that unacceptable and start devaluation and eventual divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 03:45 PM
5

Either leave her now and start completely over or leave her in 5 years when the resentment is too much hut you have your kid in your life. This is a no win scenario sorry to say.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 02:23 PM
2

Not usually at dropoff because i go and take care of all the things i put on hold while i have them so i get quality time but usually 24 to 48 hours after i start to miss the noise in the house. Theyre back a day or two later so it doesnt last long.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 01:51 PM
18

Fairly accurate description of my marriage in hindsight. At the time I just figured that how things are and HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE and MAN UP! and all that nonsense.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 07:20 PM
2

Stop hurting the poor woman and give her a chance at finding someone else that doesn't cheat and justify it with a philosophy textbook.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 08:57 PM
0

She might try sleeping with the boss first
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 08:54 PM
1

Nailed it
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 03:59 PM
3

Coach your daughter to not let anyone steal her joy and how to handle it. tips?
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 05:31 PM
3

Sounds like my marriage
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 02:54 PM
2

I just hired the high conflict womans rights lawyer instead. She was relentless. I think she sincerely enjoyed being on the other side of it for a change.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 04:10 AM
1

Yeah its typical anxious fear, not unlike what happened when you turned 18 and faced adulthood for the first time. You are clearly handling it well and it looks like you are just scared of change, we all are. I'm in Calgary btw
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 05:36 PM
2

Solid advice. If its not going to work unless you get what you want you might as well work on being assertive again.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 02:25 PM
4

This. Tell me more about this country because for the most part everywhere i go the women that act like you explain towards me as a foreigner are usually sex workers hahah.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 01:11 PM
1

Boomer judges are usually themselves neglectful fathers that haven't spent longer than a couple hours consecutive with their own kids without their mom around and never learned to change a diaper. They got to that level of a career sacrificing something. We must all be like that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 09:20 PM
3

Vistation is what prisoners get. You have parental time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 09:58 AM
10

You gotta get clean fella.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 10:11 PM
19

I just got an email where my wife apologized for the breakdown in our marriage, and admitted fault. She needs money.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 10:06 PM
14

Our communication is limited to critical information about our children. I want it this way as she is an unpredictable, vindictive person who I do not trust any longer to not use anything I could possibly say as a weapon against me. I did not want it this way and the first couple weeks of our separation were filled with hopeful talk of "coparenting" and "shared holidays". Then when I refused to move out of the house the threats and unacceptable behaviour began. When she eventually left she tried…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 10:02 PM
15

Just dont get remarried.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 04:07 PM
3

I find listening to the stand up comedy of Rodney Dangerfield can help me when im having those intrusive thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 01:40 PM
6

She gave me a gift by making the divorce so hateful. I will never miss her or wonder if I did the right thing. Mine did too. Its liberating. In my case it was the nightmarish months we were forced to live together while the house sold after her attempt to force me to move out failed and she turned into a vile hateful bully.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 09:06 PM
3

I am more dedicated to my kids now than i was when my wife and i were together. Trying to maintain a dying marriage took up a lot of time that can now be redirected to the relationship between my kids and i. She continues to rely on her mother to do a huge portion of the work of being a parent (and so she can go fuck off and do whatever/whomever it is she is doing) and i do not want that for myself so my time with my kids is 100% theirs in a way it wasnt predivorce. And i am more happy and satis…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 06:54 PM
8

I found no higher calling in life than being the best dad i can be
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 03:06 PM
4

In hindsight there were a lot of warnings and red flags I ignored.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 02:18 AM
3

this is what happens when an exwife still thinks its 1985. too bad she's decided to pay your lawyers to get themselves new lexuses instead of keeping it for you and her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 02:24 AM
3

I was going to make a tongue in cheek joke and post "hop on gear bro" but you beat me to it hey, lots of guys seem to be thriving on it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 02:22 AM
1

2 weeks bud give yourself some grace and take it easy on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 02:20 AM
3

Is there one specifically for divorced men?
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 01:11 AM
3

Totally disagree i divorced a complete athiest who had no religious upbringing and porn (also video games) were the absolute worst things on earth to her. Its about control. Of sex. Of time. Meanwhile she was on her 4th readthrough of the court of thorns and roses chick porn series without any awareness of her hypocracy
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 08:21 PM
2

Hah nailed it
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 05:07 PM
13

Brother it aint about the porn. If she was actually that concerned about how you empty your balls shed be more interested in being the one to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 05:06 PM
2

Imagine the smell
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 05:51 PM
3

Its all because i wouldn't adopt that goddamn labradoodle i swear. But im not paying 8k for a dog.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 01:48 AM
3

Haha i saw your post right after mine and i was creeping your post history to make sure i wasnt suffering from multiple personalities.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 01:43 AM
6

No. If anything my divorce experience confirmed my existing beliefs and made me more assured that i do indeed understand the world around me quite well. I was at times gaslit by the wider world about certain things that i now know to be as i perceive them.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 12:45 AM
3

In my case I was forced to live with her for months until our matrimonial home sold and she was the most horrible, over the top petty vindictive bully during that time. It made getting over her easy peasy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 08:37 PM
5

Yeah I struggle with this from the in laws as well. Nobody in my family has divorced that I know of and I've done an extensive family tree of my ancestors living and non-living. In her case however her parents split up and within a year her dad had married his secretary and her mom had married her ski instructor. So they were all very very supportive of her blowing up her family because after all, its easy to remarry! Time will tell how that turns out for her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 07:43 PM
9

I wouldn't consent personally, not a chance. I remember a post about a woman who wanted to backdoor her husband by using something he had said in couples counselling but couldn't unless he agreed for it to be released. This is in-effect what agreeing to this would be doing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 07:24 PM
27

I actually think the circle of hens she befriended at her new job had more of an effect. I'm sure you'd be shocked to learn they are all divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 05:56 PM
5

Hah nailed it
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 12:39 PM
2

No its just far too complex for people on reddit to help you with. I hope venting helped but a lawyer is how you address this.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 12:03 AM
1

Yup this is what happened to me. Of course we couldnt go on dates and weekends away for the last 6 months of our marriage. We had a newborn who was exclusively breastfed because his mom wouldnt pump and go into hysterical screaming crying fits if i suggested supplementing. And she still hasnt completely healed from child birth shes still seeing gynos about it. Oh ya but it was my schoolwork on weekends that turned us into roommates...
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 05:33 PM
4

yeah sounds like her lawyer is cashing in on her vindictiveness to run up the bill on her and selling her on it with "we can go for costs later" wink wink nudge nudge to the legal aid
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 03:19 AM
4

It certainly has its appeal. And my daughter is the only woman i want bossing me around anymore hahha. (She doesn't)
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 10:34 PM
4

I spent all of a week feeling sad about it. Then after having to live with her for 2 months until she found a place to move to, I very quickly found that I was counting down the hours until she was gone. Haven't missed her since, but I feel bad that my kids won't know a two-parent household like I did. But hey she felt like we had become ~roommates~ while I was seeking my CPA designation and buried with studying and its easier to blow up your family then hold on for 6 months until the program wa…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 08:42 PM
5

Because shes a GOOD PERSON /s
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 02:50 PM
6

By the time a woman says she doesn't want to be married to you anymore, she hasn't wanted to be married to you for a fairly long time. Months, perhaps years. I assume the same goes for men when we initiate.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 11:40 PM
2

If you're like me, make sure to make time to eat. When I travel I pack my itinerary so full I sometimes arrive back at my hotel and I'm like "I haven't eaten anything all day"
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 02:15 AM
2

You have my deepest sympathy because your situation sucks. But the situation you are in is that you have a former spouse that is non-compliant and will not come to any reasonable agreement with you. That only leaves legal avenues. In my jurisdiction we have resources like mediators and family law assistance for people who cannot afford them. Maybe yours does too?
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 07:46 PM
2

You have no option but a lawyer at this point. And stop paying the "support" until ordered by a court.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 07:11 PM
3

This. If seeing her on a dating app made you this upset you need more time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 10:17 PM
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