| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1126 | Another negging tactic: Men asking your interests then telling you how they dislike them | RED FLAG 🚨 | dazedandcofused_ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/21 04:26 PM |
| 420 | That time I THOUGHT I was dating a HVM 🤡 And the PLETHORA of red flags I ignored | Story time ☕ | dazedandcofused_ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 05:23 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 27 | Understanding the difference between bare minimum and HVMAs someone who also has microbladed brows and know how much of a pain it is to not get them wet after an appointment, that’s super sweet of your fiancé 😭 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/04/22 01:53 PM |
| 7 | Being vulnerable to help build intimacy in relationships.I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one. This strategy isn't about shame over past traumas nor does it have anything to do with settling. I just don't feel compelled to share such intimate details with a man that I don't trust or know well enough nor would I use my trauma to vet or gauge whether a man has the potential to be my best friend. It's one thing if he's proven himself consistently over time to be a HVM and is my husband (AND it makes sense for him to know), but anythin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 12:08 AM |
| 22 | Being vulnerable to help build intimacy in relationships.I see where you're coming from, but the thing it's less about the man and more about safeguarding your wellbeing, especially with such sensitive information. My motto is "Tell your best friend, therapist, or a journal". As far as I'm concerned, there's no need for a man to know my past traumas because what purpose does it serve? Time and time again men have been shown to either weaponize this information or stigmatize a woman because of it, then she feels even more like sh*t for being vulnerable… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/22 11:43 PM |
| 8 | Therapy lines that are used for manipulationWhen he does something wrong then gaslights you when you call him out on it or thinks him acknowledging his mistake somehow makes him this self-aware, righteous being. Pushing toxic positivity and trivializing your feelings about anything. Using him going to therapy as a manipulative tactic to make him seem less threatening. Using therapy jargon to make himself seem like he's grown and developed as a person, when in reality, he just learned how to be a better manipulator. The list goes on | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 10:12 PM |
| 3 | Let’s talk hobbies! What are your current hobbies? What’s a hobby you’re interested in starting?I want to cry thinking about this because it sounds like a ✨ dream ✨. We just have basic archery ranges where I live. 3D archery would be amazing. I hope you check it out! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 04:35 PM |
| 6 | Let’s talk hobbies! What are your current hobbies? What’s a hobby you’re interested in starting?Yaassss! Us ladies who spin are unstoppable 👏🏾 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 04:34 PM |
| 10 | Let’s talk hobbies! What are your current hobbies? What’s a hobby you’re interested in starting?Japanese, French, and keeping up with my Spanish! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 04:32 PM |
| 5 | Let’s talk hobbies! What are your current hobbies? What’s a hobby you’re interested in starting?I started off getting a beginners/easy dj controller and the tutorials for it really helped me learn the basics. I also had some background mixing vinyl because I had friends/guys I dated teach me. Vinyl is challenging to mix, even for experienced djs, so that's why so many opt for the controllers instead. I picked up the Pioneer DDJ-200. It's small and lightweight, easy to use. Spotify doesn't work for dj-ing anymore smh but you can use Soundcloud+ and Serato. The biggest thing is learning how … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 04:32 PM |
| 3 | Let’s talk hobbies! What are your current hobbies? What’s a hobby you’re interested in starting?Hahaha + your username is so apt. Small world indeed! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 04:28 PM |
| 70 | Let’s talk hobbies! What are your current hobbies? What’s a hobby you’re interested in starting?Archery, aerial yoga, dj-ing, joined a meetup to learn some new languages (and keep up my fluency in others) too! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 02:19 AM |
| 20 | another quick vetting strategy: how a man views your job and work historysome men will lord that over you like you’re an idiot well past your 20s. Facts. I remember I was dating a guy in his 30s (I'm in my 20s) and mentioned a role I wanted to apply for. His response? "Oh you should wait until you have more experience to learn what it's like to manage people." Meanwhile, the extent of his management experience? ONE PERSON. He manages one whole human being. And not only that, got demoted. Yet he had no issue giving me unsolicited career advice when I wanted to advance… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 10:34 PM |
| 27 | [deleted by user]Thank you! The fact that there are ladies saying they have dummy accounts for their partners is beyond strange. Reddit is an online forum, why would they possibly need to know your Reddit accounts and the stuff you post to begin with? Makes 0 sense | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 04:58 PM |
| 24 | A pictorial depiction of the “male feminist”100000%! This idiot claimed WAP was "liberating for women". Unbelievable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 10:44 PM |
| 104 | A pictorial depiction of the “male feminist”Oh god, this reminds me of a "feminist" scrote I dated a few years back who was secretly dating other women and when I found out he had the nerve to say he's not a fuckboy because he just realized he's "ethically nonmonogamous". | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 06:02 PM |
| 110 | A quality 1ct diamond can be over 10k, BUT Reddit society agrees that $7500 on an engagement ring is INSANEReason 128232039203 to never date broke ass and/or stingy men, especially ones who still live with their parents like what the hell! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 02:24 AM |
| 73 | Where is your kids dad? Not 1 mention of him. Be careful who you procreate with.This vaguely reminds me of the CEO who had to shut down her successful company because her useless scrote husband was "overwhelmed" taking care of their ONE CHILD during the pandemic. Subsequently, everyone in the company lost their jobs and the CEO became a SAHM | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 05:28 PM |
| 120 | Backfooting: the Disturbing New Dating Trend Men Don't Want You to Know AboutBeware of the expert manipulators who do this but in a subtle way. Dated a guy who would make seemingly benign comments to make me second guess myself. For example, once he made me dinner and I told him it was good (it was) but he went on some tangent about how he doesn't like or respect people who are "yes men" and likes opinionated women who aren't afraid of expressing themselves and I should feel confident to tell him if I didn't like what he made. I was like wtf -- If I didn't enjoy the meal… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 05:26 PM |
| 93 | Do you talk to your therapist about FDS?My therapist is a woman and we've definitely butted heads over some FDS principles. She's a nice person and generally a good therapist but some things we just don't see eye to eye on -- such as looking for a partner who meets 70% of what we're looking for. UM NO THANKS | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 11:09 PM |
| 37 | Is He Negging You? 10 Signs He’s Trying To Secretly Destroy Your Confidence#7 and #10 -- I remember a scrote I was dating told me that his first impression of me right before our first date was that he thought I was an airhead that was too into my looks. But was "surprised" when he learned how "smart and deep" I am. Mind you, he's obsessed with his looks and vapid himself but I digress. He would also make underhanded comments about my appearance "Oh, thank you so much for the effort you put in for me." I was like "What makes you think I take care of myself for YOU?" su… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/22 06:12 PM |
| 86 | That would be instant ICK for me followed by my departure and blocking everywhere. If he is doing something this gross in front of you, imagine the filthy shit he's doing secretly 🤮This is definitely in the top 3 of the most revolting things I've ever read. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/01/22 04:21 AM |
| 70 | The idea that men peak in their 30s is a male fantasyThis is FACTS. The number of men in their 20s and early 30s already experiencing male pattern baldness and looking like they own an AARP card is insane. I'm genuinely surprised when they tell me their age because they tend to look so old, worn, and out of shape. Women age exceptionally better because many actually take care of ourselves unlike our male counterparts | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 12:01 AM |
| 78 | After telling him I’ve been in hospital, have covid pleurisy & too unwell to date atm.. I’m done with menGood. What a POS, seriously. He does not deserve to have any lines of communication with you. I hope you feel better soon xx | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/22 07:00 PM |
| 5 | Queens, what are your plans for NYE?I'm so sorry :( I hope you feel better soon! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 04:27 PM |
| 209 | Guy dumps his GF over not enthusiastically having oral and not doing anal, and gets hailed as an upstanding guy for doing this in the commentsExactly. I feel like the moron who posted that comment used it as an opportunity to essentially neg the OP. The bf is a porn sick loser, end of. Everything she listed was the absolute bare minimum, and the fact that the commenter was making him out to be some absolute catch just shows how deep in hell the bar is | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 06:08 PM |
| 100 | A true FDS queen❤Love Jia! She’s an unapologetic queen who knows her worth and refuses to settle. She had those men nervous, love to see it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 11:08 PM |
| 6 | OP asked for advice and naturally everyone gaslit her into thinking she was at faultThe amount of posts I've seen like these are nothing short of unsettling. Imagine going through months of pain, discomfort, symptoms and risks, carrying a whole child inside of you and having such a worthless, mean, and thankless partner throughout?? Men are quick to say they want kids and a family but what they really want is to continue to soil earth's gene pool and sit on their ass while have women do the actual hard work of parenting and keeping a home, with little to no help, acknowledgment… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 08:27 PM |
| 15 | Here is what being single will get you:You're amazing, OP! Love seeing ladies on this sub thrive and live their best lives. I know your daughters are super proud to have you as their mom ✨💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 09:11 PM |
| 69 | Emotional terrorists will put your life, health, AND beauty on the line.This energy 👑👏🏾 Definitely +1000 to women being RUTHLESS when it comes to dating. Men rely on women being UnDeRsTaNdInG, i.e. putting up with their bullshit, in order to continue to perpetuate their dysfunctional and abusive behavior without consequences. As soon as anything feels OFF and violates your boundaries and/or doesn't meet your standards, cut his ass loose and never look back. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/21 11:53 PM |
| 229 | Avoidantly attached men like to pretend securely or anxiously attached women are “needy” when avoidants are actually very, VERY needy.The last sentence you wrote triggered me 😂 These dudes are dysfunctional as hell and when you finally get fed up, they gaslight you saying "I wish you would've communicated how you felt". Straight demon spawn | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/12/21 12:39 AM |
| 59 | Another negging tactic: Men asking your interests then telling you how they dislike themWtf?? So because you're a well-rounded individual with interests and a life, it's *too much* for him? Glad the trash took itself out, seriously. Men say they like women with interests until they actually meet one because they realize she'll be busy enjoying her life instead of pining after them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/21 07:08 PM |
| 49 | Another negging tactic: Men asking your interests then telling you how they dislike themYesss you bring up such a valid point -- it really bleeds into all aspects of life. A few months ago I ran into a scrote who seemed really interested in my career and goals and with every response I gave he always had some lame rebuttal: "Oh I could never get into that." "That sounds like a really stressful career path." "You want to work for that company? I wouldn't. I like having a great work/life balance." Its just abundantly clear how men like to use these questions as a way to simultaneousl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/21 06:21 PM |
| 175 | Another negging tactic: Men asking your interests then telling you how they dislike themAs someone who's also into gaming, I feel your pain. It goes without saying the gaming community is rampant with misogyny and whenever I run into a dude who starts grilling me over gaming it's an immediate block. When women are into stuff like makeup or fashion we're labeled as superficial and when we like gaming or sports we're trying to "not be like other girls" in their eyes and aren't taken seriously. Such bs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/21 06:08 PM |
| 97 | Another negging tactic: Men asking your interests then telling you how they dislike themWhat a damn loser. He probably only asked what your favorite trip was so he could "flex" that he was planning one himself, then got shook when he realized you're well-traveled. I love Germany but haven't been to Berlin yet and it's #1 on my list!! Portugal is *beautiful* -- the weather is perfect, even leading into fall it hovers in the 70s. Lisboa is a lovely historical city and the general crowd seems pretty young (teens-30s/40s) so there are tons to do. The food (especially seafood) is out of… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/21 06:06 PM |
| 16 | That time I THOUGHT I was dating a HVM 🤡 And the PLETHORA of red flags I ignoredThank you so much for this <3 I beat myself up for MONTHS afterward, thinking "what could I have done to prevent this?" and feeling terrified that even while employing some things from the handbook, we still can get ensnared by these losers. I know now what my missteps where but also acknowledging the fact that this dude is a loser. Thank you so much for this <3 I beat myself up for MONTHS afterward, thinking "what could I have done to prevent this?" and feeling terrified that even while employi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 08:24 PM |
| 34 | That time I THOUGHT I was dating a HVM 🤡 And the PLETHORA of red flags I ignoredHe would spend ages talking about himself and his ambitions and the only time where my career or ambitions were a topic of importance, was how it coincided with his overall "vision" of his dream life (i.e. wanting a mansion overseas, having an accomplished wife, 2 kids, etc.). But my goals could never be more ambitious than his or else he'd make condescending comments about things I need to do and learn then remark on his decade of experience in his field as if it's some sort of accomplishment f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 08:19 PM |
| 47 | That time I THOUGHT I was dating a HVM 🤡 And the PLETHORA of red flags I ignoredTHIS. Tbh men don't want genuine love. What they want is adoration, compliance, and agreeableness from women who are willing to put up with their bullshit and see them as someone worthwhile, even though most are complete losers. Their "love" is absolutely conditional and they want it on their terms. A lot of men don't know what love is, let alone how to love. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 08:03 PM |
| 23 | Just because a man looks good on paper doesn't mean he is HVDid we date the same guy? 🥲 I agree though, these kinds of men are dangerous— wolves in sheep’s clothing | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 01:25 PM |
| 39 | Never let a man use you as a placeholder. Don’t “build” a man up. Keep your standards high.I think women absolutely should have high standards and shouldn’t compromise. That said, I think perpetuating the idea that this is some sort of failsafe is foolhardy at best. Especially when we’ve seen time and time again the lengths men will go through, the façades they will put on to get what they want, and the woman with high standards is no exception. I think a better strategy is to VET VEHEMENTLY and ensure a man is meeting your standards, but even then have the understanding that it doesn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 05:14 AM |
| 83 | Never let a man use you as a placeholder. Don’t “build” a man up. Keep your standards high.Hmm I don't agree with the full message. It kind of places the onus on women instead of holding men accountable for essentially manipulating and using women. The only scenario where I think her message rings true is for the Barbara the Builders who like projects who don't have their shit together. Outside of that, I think any man who uses women as placeholders is not HV, period. I've seen women who were the quintessential "full package" and still be used as a placeholder. See Justine Wilson (Elo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 10:17 PM |
| 93 | When you can’t handle rejection. Wait until the endI do this but I keep my volume low or on mute. From outward appearances, it looks like I'm occupied because of my headphones (which keep people from trying to talk to me), but I'm always on alert and listening to what's happening around me. Allows me to be observant in peace | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 05:31 PM |
| 159 | I wouldn't touch that guy with a ten foot stick after he pulled this kind of shit. He agrees to pay first date if she pays for the next, she ends up being footed with a bill 4x what he paid.I have no words. She clearly learned nothing from that experience if she continued to entertain that asshat after the stunt he pulled. $200 out AND settling for home "movie" dates??? Just tragic | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/10/21 07:58 PM |
| 17 | Using the carrot and stick approach to neg and emotionally abuse. 🚩🚩🚩This is so sociopathic. Just disgusting | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/21 03:42 PM |
| 1 | Welcome to FDS!Can I get a flair, please? Would love to finally be able to participate here! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 08:05 PM |
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