decaf_flower Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
78	What was your last straw?		decaf_flower	/r/askFDS	19/10/21 03:02 AM
61	Becoming attracted to Green Flags/ HVM		decaf_flower	/r/askFDS	06/07/21 04:20 PM
1	FKA Twigs suing Shia for abuse. Total love bombing and other red flags learned by living and here!	TRIGGER WARNING	decaf_flower	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/12/20 08:49 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
3	What was your last straw? Damn thank you. Yeah, after our fight he sent this huuuuuge text about what I did “wrong”. We haven’t communicated. Thanks for sharing your experience with me.	/r/askFDS	20/10/21 03:07 PM
16	What was your last straw? Wow that all really resonated with me. We are mutually muting each other after tonight 😂. I know I’m getting better at less tolerance for this stuff and I’m really encouraged to hear that someone else has gone through the routine. I know I’m getting better and that this is a process of unlearning. I’ll get there soon enough. I also can just see him getting worse and worse over time. It’s like…there’s no way I could do anything that required emotional vulnerability with him. I told him that I don…	/r/askFDS	19/10/21 06:47 AM
25	What was your last straw? Ugh, it’s crazy how many of us have had such a similar experience. thanks so much sharing.	/r/askFDS	19/10/21 06:40 AM
62	Did me (25F) asking about marriage timelines pressure him (24M) too much, leading to downfall of the relationship? "We had a fight that led to the breakup and during that breakup he told me he never read the 10 "Open When.." letters I wrote him for Valentines Day. They were just sitting there for months. I never could understand why he didn't even bother reading one. He said "it was too much pressure"" This guy is a fucking loser. I'm sorry. He can't read letters his girlfriend of 1.5 years wrote to him? He's being a baby you deserve so much better. Find a man who doesn't think being 24 is a child. I wasted …	/r/askFDS	14/09/21 06:53 AM
7	Dating (relatively poor) teacher who wants me to alternate paying i couldn't tell if i was laughing or choking at this.	/r/askFDS	07/09/21 06:04 AM
11	Did I spot the breadcrumming? When men are excited about you, they’ll make an effort. It doesn’t need to be love bombing but he seems indifferent toward you if he isn’t asking you questions at this point. Block him, go get your nails done, get your hair done, get a new dress and put some new photos up. He will not change this level of effort. If he does, it will be temporary. Do you want to date someone who texts like a brother would or someone who is ATTENTIVE to you? I’m still learning my boundaries with FDS lessons and re…	/r/askFDS	15/07/21 03:38 AM
18	Pushed into buying a house He is not respecting you. Just because your parents have met, it doesn’t mean you have to take a step you are uncomfortable with. Tell him you aren’t comfortable buying a house with him at this stage of your relationship and if he fights it, dump him. You’re so young to be wasting time with someone who does not respect you.	/r/askFDS	10/07/21 11:42 PM
26	Pushed into buying a house Don’t do anything you don’t want to do and you need to tell him it makes you uncomfortable. Why would you leave your parents house to move in with a man, and purchase a house no less? Say no, say why, and if you need to, break up.	/r/askFDS	10/07/21 11:31 PM
5	Becoming attracted to Green Flags/ HVM Totally. What you’re describing sucks, and reminds me of my ex that I was describing. All of his friends loved me and I knew they had no idea what he was like behind closed doors in an intimate relationship and it honestly made me feel a little crazy. “Do they know what he’s REALLY like?” Everyone (including my friends) only saw the nice parts (of course I had so much self esteem issues and couldn’t even leave him). I will say my eyes are wide open now and I know I’m not rationalizing anything a…	/r/askFDS	07/07/21 04:42 AM
8	Becoming attracted to Green Flags/ HVM I totally agree. We’ve talked at length about it. Like, if I said tomorrow “okay I’m in,” he would not say yes because he knows I have hesitation and genuinely wants me to be happy. Without me trying “to fix him” I’ve seen his self-confidence flourish since we started hanging out before dating and doesn’t want to settle for someone who isn’t there 100%. I am taking this message to heart about just because someone is HV doesn’t mean they are right for me. I will say, we complement each other very…	/r/askFDS	07/07/21 01:55 AM
1	Am I being unreasonable or too demanding with his vacation time? "Nothing is set in stone, I wish he would make at least loose mentions about where he'd like to go with me but every time I bring up a trip he gets defensive and protective of his time off/ claims he hates making plans too far in advance. " Sounds like he doesn't want you in his future. Why wouldn't someone who wants to be in a relationship with you in the fall be making plans with you...in the fall? its not even that far away. If you feel like you're at the bottom of his priority list, you need…	/r/askFDS	06/07/21 10:23 PM
7	Becoming attracted to Green Flags/ HVM Thank you. all of this is really sweet and I appreciate your response.	/r/askFDS	06/07/21 09:47 PM
1	My dad always says if a guy is single at 35+, there usually a reason, and it’s usually baggage. How true is this statement? So you admit that you hold sex sacred and you respect socially experienced women less. I hope all your female friends know you post this kind of shit. I’m sure they do though, expensive guitar.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/04/21 03:05 PM
1	My dad always says if a guy is single at 35+, there usually a reason, and it’s usually baggage. How true is this statement? This is why women look at single “got my shit together” 35+ as there is something wrong with them...they’re usually so suspicious of some woman screwing them over. It’s like, babe I’m just trying to find love and build a life together. We can’t do that if you don’t put some skin in the game.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/04/21 03:00 PM
3	My dad always says if a guy is single at 35+, there usually a reason, and it’s usually baggage. How true is this statement? (Straight) women over 30 who want to be married also have to deal with ... choosing from lack of quality men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/04/21 02:56 PM
2	Who are these women that aren't getting asked out? I’m one! Would be out often, with friends, on my own, whatever. Bars, restaurants (alone), music shows, lounging in parks, coffee shops. I was out with hopes to meet someone. Lived in three major cities in the US in my 20s, rareeellllyyyy got asked out and even more rare after turning 25. Definitely not avoiding, active but not pushy. Just out trying to do the old fashion way (a meet cute) or online dating. Few and far between honestly.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/12/20 07:46 PM
4	CMV: In these modern times, we will see fewer women who are opting to settle for a "beta bucks" and instead we will see more women going their own way when they get older. Is the counter argument about being w a BB is that they really ARE doing the bare minimum? And aren't actually investing at a truly beneficial level of emotional support and security than if they were alone? E.g. A guy that like...probably won't cheat on you, but doesn't really know how to support you and he's nice to have around to 'help' with things but is incapable of really taking the reigns? Like, that women would rather just be single OR find someone who can really step up your lifves toge…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/11/20 08:27 PM
1	CMV: In these modern times, we will see fewer women who are opting to settle for a "beta bucks" and instead we will see more women going their own way when they get older. I'm being dense and I got no sleep last night, can you elaborate more? I think I know what you mean but would appreciate if you could tease it out for a simpleton.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/11/20 08:11 PM
2	Even "gender equality-supportive" women tend to prefer "benevolently sexist" men despite them being perceived as "patronizing" and "undermining" Dude I read that. I get that they are saying this is the BS, I’m saying that you can treat someone equally as in, “I take my partner’s ideas and commitments, attitudes and values with the same respect as my own because I am in a relationship with them” is not the same as simping.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/11/20 03:34 PM
5	Even "gender equality-supportive" women tend to prefer "benevolently sexist" men despite them being perceived as "patronizing" and "undermining" Listed as a potential partner is not clear either. They don’t say “you’ve been on 4 dates and you really get on” they say “potential partner” what does this mean? That we literally just work in the same office and you know he’s single and you might try to ask him out?	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/11/20 03:30 PM
2	Even "gender equality-supportive" women tend to prefer "benevolently sexist" men despite them being perceived as "patronizing" and "undermining" It’s not prioritizing all women in general. It’s prioritizing your partner. I think that’s how women interpret this, which is why the authors of the study say that women prefer BS vs Egalitarian. But I don’t think that egalitarian truly precludes putting your specific partner as a priority in your life? But sure, I’ll read the other materials lol	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/11/20 03:28 PM
2	Even "gender equality-supportive" women tend to prefer "benevolently sexist" men despite them being perceived as "patronizing" and "undermining" Prioritizing a partner in your life precludes you from being an egalitarian? Please tell me the point of a “romantic” relationship then? That’s not romance. That’s a platonic life partner with no needs, hopes, or expectations of romance.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/11/20 03:23 PM
1	Even "gender equality-supportive" women tend to prefer "benevolently sexist" men despite them being perceived as "patronizing" and "undermining" It’s not even the providing thing for me, it’s like, I can’t be placed on a pedestal by my partner? If there’s one thing I think a lot of people want is to feel cherished by someone. Maybe not that they can’t live without you, or they NEED to be in a relationship to feel fulfilled in life, but that you’re special in their life. I don’t think that prioritizing your female partner in your life precludes you from being egalitarian. I don’t think the creators of the study actually did a great job en…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/11/20 03:17 PM
5	Being with a low value man can make you believe that you are insecure and have low self-esteem. You are not the problem: they are! Seriously. Me too!!! I’m still recovering over a year later, and I’ve been with a really really great guy now who never makes me feel insecure, and when I do, we talk about it like adults. I don’t have to hide myself anymore. I think you’ll go back to yourself when you do feel safe with a partner/keep working on processing how you really don’t have self esteem. Not an either or!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/11/20 12:39 AM
8	Being with a low value man can make you believe that you are insecure and have low self-esteem. You are not the problem: they are! Oh I’ve always found him to be extremely helpful. I found him last year during/after a HORRIBLE relationship with a “feminist”/confusing/avoidant/totally porn sick man. He actually helped me accept that in shouldn’t chase this guy, that he really just doesn’t value me, my efforts, etc and that the right guy will. Glad I found him on my way to FDS!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/11/20 09:37 PM