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diaryofalostgirl Archive

View 8 posts and 1,966 comments by diaryofalostgirl on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Have fun with the ran-through!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:15 PM
–

Truest statement here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 08:30 PM
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Where did I say they were the same thing? Perception is important, however, and sure, you can do the "empowered" thing and "just leave him, babe" if you're perceiving his earnest desire for you as profoundly unloving. I would probably decide to take a look at where we both were and try to come to some kind of middle ground.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:56 AM
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I agree. Communication about it is key. But that communication shouldn't invalidate the very real need to still be sexually desirable to your partner after commitment and during difficult times.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:30 AM
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If the sex dies in your relationship, something is badly wrong and maybe the two of you need to do something about it instead of buying into the gender war "I'm servicing him!!!" rhetoric. You're not. Part of the way a lot of us humans perceive love is to still be wanted sexually by our partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:20 AM
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while women can be mediocre in every way and still find sex partners easily That is not women's fault. You can have standards, too. You can lock mediocre women out of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:10 AM
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You have a tremendous imagination. I've never once considered marrying a man who wasn't hot enough to fuck for eternity. I've also never been involved with someone who was insecure about my [counts on fingers] until recently, two partners... it's up to three now, l'horreur
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:09 AM
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And that's just their truth. Married men still need to feel desired by their wives. It's actually rather important to show your husband that you still want to fuck him.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:04 AM
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That would require my having entered into any kind of relationship, even in the talking stages, with the intent to be fuck buddies. It may in fact shock you to hear that many women object to the concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:02 AM
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When you put it like this, you make it sound like you're upset that you're not good enough to be either one.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 11:59 PM
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Nope. Never once. No need.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 11:56 PM
7

If you two are very traditional, he will appreciate the pastry but not the offer to pay. :) I handle this by always carrying enough cash to cover the tip -- "Oh, but the service was so good, I want to make sure they know it!" It's a little signal that you want to contribute without spurning his generosity. [edited] I'm curious to know what was so bad about this advice? Thanks so much!
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/25 11:39 PM
1

[winks and giggles] shhh! <3
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 10:56 PM
0

Not my Prince Charming then :) Weirdly enough, all of the men I've ever been truly compatible with also had good heads of hair, and all of the could-have-beens that turned out to be not compatible were also bald.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 10:53 PM
2

What are people expecting to find there, teeth?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 10:52 PM
1

Time to be the change you want to see in the world, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 09:15 PM
1

Did it occur to you that there's room for nuance between the two?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 07:41 PM
1

You know, a little of that collectivist spirit would work wonders in the US. Considering what's good for more than yourself? God forbid.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 07:01 PM
1

I like it in the Regency romance context, where it goes a lot like /u/Makuta_Servaela paints it. Courtship is important, compatibility is important; you want to create a stable partnership that will last.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 06:44 PM
3

Why is it weird that I'm worried about both? God forbid I think men deserve better partners than women who should probably be 4B but are too addicted to cock to go through with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 06:37 PM
–

Do you think that a man willing to have sex with you makes you worthy of being a parent? What do you have to offer a child?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 06:24 PM
1

That's fair. I'm glad you have a balance, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:44 PM
4

Why do you not sit down with your husband and renegotiate the distribution of tasks? If you are the one with the greater burden career-wise, perhaps he should keep a little notebook or a planner that contains important social things.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:27 PM
4

There is, biologically, an especial issue if you target a pregnant woman's uterus. It is engorged and there is extra blood flow -- an injury there is likely to kill her unless someone basically performs an emergency hysterectomy on the spot. In that instance, I would indeed be saying "never mind the fetus, this woman could die".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:22 PM
4

I think you're right, although I am a touch concerned about men still seeking out sexual gratification despite being enraged with them. I wouldn't wish an enraged feminist on any man, let me put it that way, so for me the reverse is also a bit of a worry.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:19 PM
2

My mother lived the multigenerational thing, and I think her mother may have been better able to handle motherhood because she had a wider circle of family to help raise the kids. Maybe we should be looking to other countries to see what would help American women's birthrates rise. People who are truly childfree won't be swayed, but fencesitters or people who are childfree by circumstance will.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:03 PM
3

It will work on women who like men who play video games. The rest of us will take a hard pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 07:35 PM
2

'Behold, just now the world became perfect!' spoke every woman when she obeys out of entire love. Such truth. Should be writ larger.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/25 04:27 PM
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Family lawyers are important, too. Especially those who function as attorneys for the child. And having a good trusts and estates lawyer in your back pocket is a real plus.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:05 AM
–

MIT gets you contempt From whom?! MIT is incredible.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:04 AM
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God forbid we want our potential future husbands not to be NEETs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:03 AM
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Two of the sexiest men I've ever met share a profession with me. It only makes them more attractive (it is an altruistic profession that certainly offers no prestige and the pay is a joke).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:02 AM
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It smacks of jealousy of actual brilliant men who are also good humans. It's amazing how much water "also good humans" carries with sane women -- no-one I know is dropping her panties for Elon Musk, even if he is objectively brilliant.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:00 AM
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Only one woman knows that he has a cure for cancer. If that woman is me, he's getting BJs nightly because I find that kind of intelligence screamingly hot. Doing things that benefit society with it, even if no-one knows it? Oh my God, come to Mama.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 12:57 AM
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I haven't noticed a difference. I approach [edited to add: and respond] if I find them attractive enough to do so; I'm not thinking about leagues or, for that matter, dating as a zero-sum game. I'm thinking about whether this person could be the one I spend the rest of my life with.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 12:28 AM
3

I think that as long as you are connecting with him, at least in this vulnerable emotional time, you will have hope. You need to disconnect from your ex until you can look at him as just an ex, just a friend. So: no contact. You can do this politely, and if he gets upset about it, you will know that he was keeping his sexual options open for the future without wanting to actually have a relationship. (If he wanted to, he would.) You are each other's orbiters and that's not good for either of you…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/25 12:12 AM
2

Learning to accept graciously is the hardest lesson I shall ever learn.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 06:32 PM
1

Thank you <3
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 06:00 PM
4

Because the realistic option is the commenter who said "Just pull the trigger then".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:45 PM
2

I wish you much joy of the life you have built.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 05:40 PM
2

Then I wish you all the happiness in the world actually pursuing those options, then coming back to tell us all about the sugar mamas you have landed. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:25 PM
3

Oh. In that case, I prefer to be part of the former. Kids are lovely creatures I simply cannot handle until they're adolescents. To your assertion, by the time men are my age, either they have chosen a woman with whom to reproduce or they've decided that they would like to be married without children. My [married] cousin and I are both more here for the animals; my mother's cousin married in her fifties to a man who apparently had not wanted children enough to date down in age to get them. One o…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 05:24 PM
2

A woman is not a gold digger for expecting you to carry your own weight. You are creating your own loneliness if you think in such extremes as "gold digger" and "doesn't care if I'm a NEET".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:15 PM
3

Then I tell him, "Goodness, isn't it a wonderful thing that I have this emergency fund that's good for a year's worth of my expenses?" and graciously allow him to provide what he decides he would like to do. Life happens to all of us. It is foolish only to marry "for better" and not "for worse". But it is equally foolish to start out in "for worse".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:12 PM
2

His situation was complicated. His parents had passed around the time of the pandemic, and prior to their passing he had left work to support them in their day-to-day. They might have left him some money. What he had to offer was kindness, a solid moral grounding, and a similar worldview on many things for which I had been terribly lonely in the runup to initially meeting him. Similar cultural touchstones and all that. If I am looking back harshly, it is because I feel like a flaming idiot. I ca…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 05:10 PM
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I mean, a lot of men like to style their hair too short and wouldn't know fashion if it bit them on the arse. They also think that beards are the coolest thing ever and this will always confuse me. Why? I've only seen a couple of actors pull off a beard well, and both of them were aiming for historical looks (1900s, 1940s).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 03:11 AM
1

joke's on you, then, because many women will not date a man whose employment status is not clear, we do NOT want to end up supporting you. We will swipe left.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 02:22 AM
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I knooooow, like... it's a kiss, it's not sex, you should ask before intimate parts are involved but lips and tongues alone are not that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 02:10 AM
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Okay, so the question makes a little more sense if you're taking consent to make out as consent to EVERYTHING.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 02:04 AM
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Consent... to make out. Consent... to be kissed. Just lean in and do it, it's not sex ffs. I can back away and get out of it, no harm no foul.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 02:03 AM
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I will say that style/styling/aesthetic is nine-tenths of the equation. Perhaps you could look at the type of man your, um, target audience wants to take to bed and be like him? I hear a lot of women like Timothee Chalamet, for instance, and then there are the Pedro Pascal fans, neither of those are terribly far out of reach.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 01:39 AM
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I did. Serious nostalgia.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 01:30 AM
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Last sentence is the real tea :D
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 01:20 AM
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I believe men often evaluate attractiveness in other men through traits men themselves value and then assume that women rank those traits just as highly. They focus on traits they’re proud of (gym progress, height, income) while undervaluing what women are actually scanning for like facial appeal, grooming, and how a man carries himself socially. So many guys convince themselves they’re “7s” because they lift and have a job but women are quietly rating them a “3.” All this shows is that men's id…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 01:19 AM
3

Honestly, being with the wrong person would be a lot worse than celibacy. So thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:53 PM
2

I make 42K. It doesn't take much for the men I'm dating to be able to make that or better. I have said I don't care for six figures, six feet, or six inches. Am I hypergamous, then? Sure. But I'm hypergamous because I value things that tend to go with men who earn as much as I do or better. Not princess treatment, that's boring. Princess treatment for me would be art gallery dates, indie film dates, orchestra dates. Trips to libraries or bookstores. Cafés over bars unless someone cool is playing…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:52 PM
4

Or she could be a flaming cunt! I mean, it's entirely possible! But it's the percentage that takes me out about online dating. One percent of the people who are looking at me are thinking about more than my looks? One percent decided I was good for more than a night?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:46 PM
3

Woman here, and yes, it really is a requirement. "Hot" is good for a night, "stable and competent AND HOT" is good for fifty years' worth of nights.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:45 PM
2

They're more likely checking to see if you care about them. Because in addition to "personal concern," normal, non-desirable men also check for "sexual concern." Okay, thank you for elaborating on this. I'm not the person you were speaking with, but I'm interested in where the conversation was headed, so I agree that both are important. EVERY TIME the "sex material vs. husband material" debate comes up, the point is always that being "husband material" doesn't always require being sexy (at least…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:43 PM
1

You admit that without attraction first, there’s no relationship. That’s why men emphasize looks cuz attraction is the gateway. “Compatibility” only becomes a filter once the guy has already passed the attraction threshold. We have already stretched the topic so much now in this sub. Are there people who are delusional enough to think that attraction doesn't matter? But without compatibility, there's also no relationship, at least for people with two brain cells to rub together.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:31 PM
3

I mean, if he did something to indicate that he didn't actually want a relationship with me, I would lose interest so fast he would find himself dumped before he had the chance to drop me. But I'm not a person who jumps into bed with just anyone. I need to feel something more than tinglies. Women who listen to the tinglies are going to get out of that exactly what they put in.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:30 PM
3

Not being fat, I wouldn't know :D
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:25 PM
3

She could have swiped by mistake. I've done that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:25 PM
2

What hobbies? There are some hobbies women are just not as into as men, with a few exceptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:21 PM
1

Please reject me based on more than my looks. It means you cared about more than my looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:20 PM
2

waiting to be approached by the women who like to do that (might require a certain “good looks threshold”, I’m not clear) In the name of honesty: it does. I need to be remotely sexually attracted to him to swipe on him. It's not fair to him if I can't bring myself to kiss him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:19 PM
1

If you honestly want my 400+ matches in one day, about four of whom -- not an exaggeration -- took the time to think about whether we were compatible, take them all with my blessing. I'd rather be fishing in the desert than drowning in the Great Salt Lake.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:16 PM
5

Going on Tinder even as someone who "has it easy" dating is demoralising. Tinder in particular is a hellscape.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:15 PM
3

the unspoken assumption that men are easier to satisfy with their stupid penises so should stfu. I have made this assumption in my dating past because of men's swiping habits. They didn't care who I was as a person. They looked at my picture, not my profile, and wasted both of our time. I'm sorry, but that is an aspect of app culture that needs to improve.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:12 PM
0

So am I. You don't think that women who work would like partners who also know how to work and value work? Women who have always worked have also always done domestic labour alongside it. Maybe some of us would like husbands who value work and know how to work, and will assist us in the domestic labour. Equality.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 08:25 PM
1

I would like to be responsible for the care and feeding of a husband, actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 06:13 PM
3

[points to post history] I'm working on it
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 06:12 PM
4

Or maybe most men just never wanted the things that many women claim they did. My parents got married. My grandparents got married (they're even less looksmatched). If men really were holding out for the Salma Hayek of their day, a lot of us wouldn't be here. It follows that demanding they lower their standards wasn't the winning solution some women thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 06:11 PM
2

Fair to say, imo. Although the word patriarchy makes me break out in hives these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 06:07 PM
-3

Parity to me would be an egalitarian system, where everyone provides for themselves. The majority of women (i.e. non-White, middle-class Americans) have always worked. My grandmother wasn't exactly twiddling her thumbs on the farm...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 06:06 PM
1

Unfortunately, I am underpaid for my qualifications. Since I love the work I do, the men who attract me -- the men who are on par with me mentally and emotionally -- usually make more than I do. It is what it is, I'm not looking for six figures, six feet, or six inches, and I can look after myself well enough, but I will likely never achieve the same heights as many men who aren't even on my level. Because I chose work that would allow me to look myself in the face every day. It is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:23 PM
-2

Why should it swing from one extreme to another? Are men really so tired of carrying their own weight?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:20 PM
2

Some of us even appreciate certain masculine traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:19 PM
5

Financial independence in women is inversely proportional to the risk of being ripped off by her. I definitely have no reason to rely on someone financially if I am already taking care of myself. It would be nice not to carry the burden alone, though. Just because I can support myself doesn't mean I also consent to support him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:18 PM
2

She'll hookup with the guy she truly desires but can't lock down Well, that's just stupid. She gets one night of jollies plus perhaps an STI or a baby. She's better off finding her own two feet and never marrying at all than inflicting herself on someone she can't be passionate about. You're either all-in, or you're out.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:16 PM
3

Could the word "alimony" be something they heard from their fathers? Anyone who's been divorced in the last ten to fifteen years knows it's "spousal support".
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:14 PM
2

It's not his fault she's acting like an ass. Why should I expect him to change his behaviour when he's not doing anything wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:04 PM
6

I don't find them hot if they're that stupid. All the appeal just... dies.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:02 PM
1

If there are women doing this, then they are not ready to be getting into bed with another person. They need to be in therapy doing some serious work.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:57 PM
1

The point is when an extremely proud nation feels humiliated, a strong dictator unites all parts of society (corporations, labor, farmers, military, service workers, teachers, men, women, etc) to form a collective government where everything is controlled by the party/government with a specific aspirational utopian goal. True. This has definitely not happened yet, and may never. It would require a strong dictator, for one thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:53 PM
1

I am impressed you got ChatGPT to say "Women are not a monolith" at the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:48 PM
1

I don't do this. If my interest in a man is genuine, I'm not going to behave badly toward him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:46 PM
2

Thank you! I hope you are right, but if it turns out I am misreading him, I now know things about myself that are important to have learned.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/25 01:59 PM
2

Truth, and thank you for speaking it. I'd like to get to the point where he sees me as an agreeable girlfriend. To that end, I'm not fighting him on ideas I think are really quite sensible -- when I say he's doing what is right for both of us, I mean I know this is a particular area where I am big-F Flawed and he has a much better outlook. He is definitely doing what is best for him as well, it's just that my idea of what is best for me and his idea of what is best for him happen to coincide nea…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 09:17 PM
1

For your own sake, give him up. Clearly there is a values mismatch. Then focus on becoming the kind of woman you think a man deserves. This is nun mode. You are bipolar. Get it under iron control, on exactly the right meds, with a regular self-care routine that likely includes therapy. You are obese. Figure out why, then don't do that. Don't tell me it's the meds, either. I'm on a med that encourages appetite and weight gain, but human beings control their appetites. I know how not to listen to …
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 01:11 AM
4

I am an unmarried childfree red pill woman, but I would love to see DINK red pill content because it's so aspirational!
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 12:39 AM
7

I feel like being a jolie laide has really helped me in this respect. Men know how to be friends with me without automatically pursuing me. Who knew it was nice to be a solid 6?
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 09:32 PM
2

You get there by building a life you enjoy and look at a man as only being welcomed into your life if they add to it. There’s way too much desperation and that’s why people are seeking out these crazy relationships (ala 90 day fiance) that in the end don’t make them happy and in fact add to years of suffering. I'm quoting this to point it up. One consequence of my year of nun mode/growing up has been that I learned how to be very, very happy with my life and to appreciate it even during the hard…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 08:31 PM
1

Jenneapolis recommended Coach Lee for situations where you're dealing with your ex and want him back -- just passing on her recommendation!
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 08:20 PM
20

I have found that focusing on the positive platonic relationships I've had with men really pulled me out of "men are pigs" territory, which is a necessary step if you want a positive romantic relationship with a man! Thus far? I would say "yes, there's a correlation".
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 08:18 PM
2

39, and he's in his mid-50s.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 04:14 PM
3

Yes, it is. I accept full blame here.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 04:14 PM
2

I'm definitely angling for offline. I hope to see him this weekend (he has a cold and doesn't want to get me sick, but he wants to see me, too). This is a risk. You're 100% right. I've been beating myself bloody -- only figuratively -- because he wasn't #1 when he should have been. He's that rare combination of heart of gold, brilliant mind, and good looks that gets my motors revving. (If you want an idea? Mark Rylance in Wolf Hall. I've always been a silver fox bitch.) I never thought I'd be th…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 04:01 AM
1

I initiated. We are local. I broke up with him for two reasons. First: at that time, I wasn't sure I trusted him to be able to take care of himself financially. Second: I was hung up on my female best friend... who is not local and who went on to date a man, then declared that she was certain she was asexual after all. For what it's worth, a year later he isn't broke (suggesting he has managed very well, I have no real idea of his finances) and my best friend is firmly just a friend. In fact, we…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 02:57 AM
2

I definitely do not want to play games. Not consciously. The only game I'm interested in playing is so not for kids and involves sausages and the art of misplacing them. I said I was done being self-righteous? For the first time in eleven years, I don't want to wait on sex. And I was one of the most nose-in-the-air low-N-counters here! [edit:] Yes, of course I want a relationship. I just don't want to withhold when both of us would probably be a lot happier if I didn't.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 02:23 AM
1

That's fair reasoning; I didn't know whether you knew them, and part of what I do involves thinking of ways for clients to connect to resources so I am constantly pulling ideas out of the ether.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 03:30 PM
2

I hurt for both of you and the little girl, too. Please know that my most sincere wishes for a good outcome are with you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 09:49 PM
8

By profession, I am familiar with child custody battles. What he's going through is likely to be unimaginable pain for him. I've seen men who dealt with the emotions involved by checking out of feeling. They just... close up. And sometimes they give up on defending their own interests, just to have it over and done. I've also heard a lot of single parents describe the court process as something the other parent seemed to be using as a blunt instrument against them. Some combination of this might…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 04:30 AM
1

Agreed that finding men in the church isn't what it used to be! Deferring to your experience dating in that setting; anyone who goes to church near me is either married or old.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 07:11 PM
4

OP, don't watch this video, it's Kevin Samuels. Nothing he'll have to say will benefit you in any way.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 06:22 PM
4

There is a pattern of woman leaving relationships, becoming Christian and wanting to save sex for marriage. With respect, this does not appear to be the phenomenon we are seeing. OP was Christian prior to choosing to leave an abusive marriage. Knowing this, would you change any of your advice to her?
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 06:21 PM
2

Ohhhh wow. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, if a man tries to treat you the same as someone who left to "find herself" or something, he doesn't deserve you. Stand tall and non illegitimis carborundum. You are absolutely doing what's right.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 01:06 PM
3

With your families, I'm guessing. I live with my parents. (The rent really is too dang high.) I think if I had been living with someone for a year, they would see us as a unit already, and ask us both to come home, but then if I live with someone for a year, we are either engaged or discussing marriage. Has bf not brought up marriage to you?
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 01:03 PM
0

I guess I don't think of emotional affairs as sufficiently real to care whether a partner of mine has one! And that's a me-thing, not a RP pearl of wisdom. What I tend to care about is whether what they're doing takes away from our relationship. If they aren't taking something away from our relationship -- if nothing goes missing -- then I tend to be pretty OK with it. It's when what is mine is impinged upon that I get snappish.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 01:41 AM
9

Wait. Two people in a one-bed one-bath is more expensive than... two people in their own studios?
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 11:51 PM
1

Why did you part ways?
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 11:28 PM
5

Anzac seems to have meant, and forgive me if I'm wrong, that there is always one jerk in the comments section who finds a way to blame a woman for her own maltreatment.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 11:14 PM
5

When they tell you their truths, believe them. He's done. He's been telling you in so many ways. His family isn't supportive of your marriage, either, and it sounds like the kids just want the agony to stop. Do what's right for them.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 11:12 PM
2

Unless you genuinely want it, would be my caveat. I'm a cheap date because most of what I like is on the appetizers part of the menu.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 11:09 PM
8

If he's religious, he might wait. But that would depend on why the marriage broke. Now, you don't owe us the why of it, but if it's anything not involving abuse, addiction, or adultery, a lot of guys (even the religious ones) are going to treat you the same as any never-married non-virgin. They'll wonder why you're making them wait, if they want sex, and they might not be willing to stick around, if they really are serious about reserving sex for marriage. They also tend to be conservative about…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 10:55 PM
-5

Is he sleeping with her? Because if he's not sleeping with her, she's inconsequential. He comes home to you.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 10:52 PM
21

vipassana retreat, ayahuasca retreat manifested a very high paying part time job that lasted a year I think you're 22, first of all. And that he is 31 and he grew up on you. He didn't "manifest" anything, he went on meds for his mental health and probably figured out how to actually embark on a career. You are not there yet. And that's okay, but you need to think about whether you can be a lawyer's First Mate as a free spirit. "Dharma and Greg" was just a TV show.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/23 12:13 AM
5

You sound like you're still in the anger phase of your RP journey. You also sound like you're conflating men's RP, men's rights, and women's RP. What reason do you have to distrust this woman that I'm not seeing?
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/23 07:26 PM
23

Because a partner is just a walking ATM who occasionally contributes genetics to offspring?
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/23 04:44 AM
7

he does want a woman who is feminine, traditional in the sense of showing respect, taking care of the house, submitting, following his lead, but also a woman who gives her opinion with things, is not indecisive, can roll her sleeves up and do the work. he likes the idea of a women ‘wanting but not needing him’ (strong independent women?), and doesn’t want a women who solely relies on him for every need. Gorge, I have some news for you: that's a healthy view on femininity. Humanity, in fact. But …
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/23 02:26 AM
3

Even the nonreligious countries mentioned believe in "something greater" than themselves individually. This. When I was not actively religious, I was motivated by principles -- principles I find are, coincidentally, fundamental to the religion to which I came to subscribe, but which were not exclusive to them. Justice. The collective over the individual. The needs of those who lack over the whims of those who have plenty. I can match Bible verses to those now, but my faith in God has grown as I …
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/23 12:54 AM
3

Which religion, please?
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/23 12:49 AM
1

Entirely agreed. I don't eat that much fish, so he'd have to be pretty enthusiastic about fish dishes. :D It will always be how their values come through in their interests that interests me, if that makes sense? And even some values I can compromise on. In theory I'm fine with agnostics and atheists; in practice, many of them are running from the God I am running toward, and don't have much tolerance for me. [shrug] Welp. Also, if your politics are moderate but you're making political decisions…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 11:35 PM
1

The apps make it so hard to see past the superficial. We put pictures of ourselves doing the things we love, and maybe don't stop to consider whether we expect our partner to love them, too -- or what we do expect our partner to love about us. I joke about swiping past pictures of men holding dead animals up like trophies, but the truth is that I'm never going to get along with someone who fishes for fun because I have ethics around what to do with your fresh-caught prey. If he's not grilling hi…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 11:15 PM
2

Someone else mentioned that your posts break their heart, so I went looking. You were the one who said this: "He did tell me a few months ago during an argument that he didn’t know if he loved me anymore." Honey. If what you're commenting here is true, he was not joking.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:39 PM
1

If he doesn't want my mother coming to stay for the duration, I hope my future Captain is willing to nurture me for a little while, even if I have to blatantly say what I need from him. "Honey, right now what would make you my hero is a bottle of ginger ale and a snuggle with you."
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:37 PM
1

I have never, ever failed to attract men in spite of being a tomboy and liking masculine pursuits/hobbies. Going by what men on The Apps are claiming to want, I think a lot more of them want a girl like you than a more traditional girly-girl. Right now, a lot of my trouble is trying to navigate how to mesh well with guys who are mainly into masculine pursuits. Like... okay, awesome, you love fishing, camping, and hurtling down a hill on one or two slabs of wood, but I would rather not. Yet women…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:35 PM
2

Comments like “I’ll go back to my hole now”, the sudden change of mood/attitude etc. could be indicative of depression, or of dementia or other mental conditions as people age. I was just going to ask "How old is Grandma? Sounds like she might be a bit verkakte." Because yes, this absolutely happens.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:31 PM
1

Nothing about my faith makes me particularly trad. I'm an Episcopalian. We're the crazy progressive aunties of Christianity. I learned more traditional values -- not the current stereotype of trad, but more traditional than the 21st century norm -- from a relationship where they were actually completely devalued. I found myself craving everything I didn't know I wanted from a relationship and from a man.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:25 PM
2

Hold the phone -- sort of, kind of. Usually what an RPW wants is a man at the head and a woman slightly behind. A captain and a first mate. But every woman here is going to have a different idea of what that should look like, and what mixture of alpha/beta is right for her. Some women definitely want providers and some women want to be a strong part of the providing. RPW is a toolbox as much as an ideology. It's fine to want what you want, but that's one face of RPW goals -- there are other wome…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:18 PM
1

It's a lot more MRA than RPW to be constantly crapping on your achievements the way people are, I must say. I'm asking for clarification on this: is RPW inherently about men's rights? I was under the impression it was a sexual and relational strategy designed to get women the kind of relationships that we want, with a man at the head but a capable woman right behind or under him.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:14 PM
7

I do want to say -- I was harsh on you elsewhere, but this is honestly awesome of you, and I hope you find the Captain who allows that contribution to your parents' well-being to continue. Whether that's the man you're with now or a man you have yet to meet, I can't tell you. But you're a pretty determined woman, so I have to believe you'll make it happen somehow. :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 04:51 PM
4

And btw I do know a few 'career women'. But it's absolutely a minority. And most of them are truly 'built different' and not women that would be most men's first choice. I'm a career woman... but not a high-earning girlboss. My career is in the human services. I nurture for a (meager) living. This is a calling that seems to have come from no less than God Himself. I'm not married at 37, but I had a long relationship and then a long period of intentional celibacy. And yes, "omg The Wall" and "it'…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 04:48 PM
12

I realize you may not yet have the perspective to understand that people go to university later in life, but... people go to university later in life. Often because circumstances prevented them from getting their education earlier. Due to illness, though I began on time, I had to take so many breaks that I was 28 when I finally got my undergrad degree. My father was in his fifties.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 04:34 PM
6

these ladies actually deal with reality and true experience [edited] I just realized you're talking about RPW. Most of us would blanch in horror at the scenario you have presented. Millionaire tech guy with 100+ bodies who wants to date our daughter? Does any mother want her daughter to become Grimes?
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 08:27 PM
1

Sure it's better to marry a conscientious brain surgeon or top lawyer, after all most people are looking for a husband, not to be an incubation vat for an Elon Musk designer baby. There absolutely doesn't need to be a "but" after this. Literally every woman I know would "settle for less" than a guy who has resources but nothing else to offer. Even the one who doesn't want a husband. She still wants her lover to be present in her world and to be a comfort when times are bad. Things Elon Musk appe…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 08:22 PM
1

There are men out there who REALLY want to meet your kids quickly There are men out there putting their children's faces on their dating profiles! Swipe left on those guys with prejudice.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 08:11 PM
2

Many times I’ve heard that wanting children will come naturally to a person when they’ve met their ‘soulmate’. No. People who decide they don't want children... just don't want children. They're not waiting for the right person, they just don't want children. This isn't a failure on your part. Accept that his goals are fundamentally different from yours and look to your own future.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 01:13 PM
3

If a man is attacking you personally, whether it be outright insults or passive-aggressive jabs, that is a sign of dominance, not leadership. It may also be a sign that he is not mentally healthy enough to be in a relationship at this time. I just had to Block With Prejudice because I was tired of the snarking, the cynicism, and the self-deprecation.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/23 04:41 PM
7

Could he be getting so much of his gratification from porn that he has lost enthusiasm for real sex?
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/23 04:36 PM
1

Okay!
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/23 12:09 AM
11

I think you shouldn't be telling a man, even if he is a relative, how he should relate to his future wife. If he wants to help his wife with the dishes, let him. It's not the end of the world. He and his wife will work out how the chores are split, and that won't be feminism, that will just be their relationship. Are you going to ask him to weigh in on yours when you have one?
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/23 11:26 PM
5

Have you considered getting new friends?
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 03:23 PM
5

What I'm getting from this is that you might find healing in this opportunity to be domestic. Taking the time to heal is perfectly fine. You might not always feel this way, but you honestly have a whole lifetime to live out any dreams you discover. If you love learning, consider working with an online college to take at least a foundational, two-year course that will round off the education you didn't get. I got my Associate's and knocked out a lot of Gen Eds, and that showed me what I liked and…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 03:22 PM
4

You can do this. Your marriage is worth saving and can be saved. Sending love.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 08:59 PM
8

I knew a woman who took your advice. Her husband was a sex addict, and instead of addressing his behavior as something that needed to end, she agreed to open the relationship. Years later, I was his girlfriend/their third. And my presence drove her to drink. She was patently not okay with me being around, but because he would threaten to leave whichever of us tried to make him choose, she didn't have any recourse. Encouraging women to do something like this only creates damaged women. I will nev…
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 06:07 PM
8

It was indeed not my intent to question her desire to be committed. I merely questioned her perspective on what he had done. I can't advise from a place of confusion. As you will note elsewhere on this thread, I now have answers and have been able to respond accordingly. And it isn't "leave him".
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 02:46 PM
6

You are ready to forgive and move forward -- and you're not minimizing that it was cheating. I would second the rec to go to r/asoneafterinfidelity and /r/loveafterporn for help. Right now, he is making great efforts to show that he has changed. He may need someone not yourself to help him stay accountable; sex addiction is like any other addiction in that regard. Since I'm not your husband, I can't tell you what he needs from you. This is for you to find out. Not figure out, find out. Sit down …
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 02:45 PM
18

It sounds to me like this guy wasn't as into you as he could've been, and that's not what you want. That's okay. If he's shaming you for needing reassurance due to your inexperience, he's not your Captain. The fact that he was pressed enough to write two paragraphs about how unreasonable you were being says more about him than you.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 02:37 PM
35

That it wasn't really cheating as he never met up with any of them. That sounds like an excuse to me, OP. Do you accept it?
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 03:51 AM
5

I think the word you're looking for is older, she says with a smile; all men get old, so unless you're planning to divorce him when he hits 55...
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 07:56 PM
3

when I tell you I'm bawling laughing, bc how often do I see that in bastions of liberality although truth be told, this IS a safe space -- to be ourselves and not get wokescolded
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 07:55 PM
9

You really don't want to do that. I wish I didn't speak from experience here.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 06:12 PM
14

I say this with love: you have issues around what you're allowed to want. If commitment wasn't appropriate at your age, explain all of the women I know who have gotten it at 40+. Including a beloved colleague and my mother's favorite cousin.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 06:11 PM
3

You're defining "ambitious" in a specific way. I don't see your man as not being ambitious. I just think his ambitions and priorities aren't the same as yours. People who go into helping professions -- I speak from experience here -- aren't going to be moved by suggestions of entrepreneurship. Tempting us with higher wages isn't enough. It sounds like he wants his work to mean something that your idea of a good job for him would not. The problem, in other words, is you. Not him. Let him be himse…
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 06:04 PM
2

I messed my hair up but good with dye and I thought there was no coming back from it. Then I had a color correction from someone competent, and that was a year ago. My hair was only a little longer than yours is now. Now it is, no lie, below my collarbones. If your hair is damaged, treatments are out there, and you can grow out the damage rather than big-chopping. I would look into ways to cover what you don't like -- maybe you look cute in a really wide headband, for instance? Or a wrap/scarf?
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 05:55 PM
2

Whatever it is? It's uniquely yours. Yes, you could be somewhere on the ace spectrum, and if you felt that the community would be helpful, you could claim that label. But you sound like you're also fine waiting for something worth your while. I will caution you that you have to be very comfortable with the possibility that you will end up alone. I went nine years not actively dating and -- no one was beating down my door. Even though men now tell me how lovely I am, I had to put myself in places…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 10:32 PM
2

It's never been a big deal for me. If you handle yourself appropriately on socials, there's not much to be lost by sharing them. You can use first and middle on socials if you really want to fly a little more under the radar.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 09:49 PM
3

Trying this again from the right account, lol: I never had to be deprogrammed because I wasn't programmed in the first place. That may be why I think very differently from people who escaped purity culture/intensely sex-negative upbringings. On considering the matter, perhaps the term I'm reaching for is sex-critical: we each of us have to know why we're having sex before we're in the moment. Not to mindlessly accept either purity culture or hookup culture, but to look at where we stand. I edite…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 06:09 PM
2

If you think in extremes, a la purity culture, yes, this is a known hazard. But if you've taken the time to develop an ethic around sex -- when it is appropriate and when it is not -- then you can absolutely enjoy yourself in bed.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 04:28 PM
6

It sounds like you're worried the most about what he could do with your information -- so let's think it through. It's usually pretty safe to share socials, because if a guy is harassing you on those, you can block and report. If you're worried about your last name being out there, Google yourself and see what happens. If you worry that you are still too identifiable, hold off on last name for now. I don't hand out my address, but I do tell people generally what I do (not always where I work). T…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 04:26 PM
3

everyone threw this label at me because I am not like everyone else but it may just boil down to the fact that I have morals & need a solid connection for it to present itself. Thoughts? You just told my story. Literally, when I mentioned not being sex-positive to my super-liberal friends, they suggested I was on the ace spectrum. Maybe I'm demi, maybe I'm just careful and have a strong sense of morality [edited: an ethic around sex that is Not Theirs]. But there are real asexuals out there who …
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 04:12 PM
2

Better outcome, in that they want to be in relationships with me, but sadly online guys have been dishonest with me - until this guy? I mean, he looks like his pictures 😂
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 02:25 AM
4

I don't. I take seriously the number of interactions I have with men on dating sites, and since I seem to have no problem getting the amount of dates I want, with the kind of guys I'm into, I figure I'm not too much of a hag.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 02:12 AM
5

It was... Gross. Typing all of this out is gross. I feel gross. Hey. If you need to talk, been there done that. Felt gross. Willing to let you feel in my general direction. Sending Jedi hugs.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 01:31 AM
4

I feel for you. You really thought you were doing the right wifely thing by coming on to him, and here he is not happy about it or able to perform. Give yourself grace, mama. Sex lives drift and flow. Once a week is actually considered up there, especially postpartum, so you're doing great. You're not failing at anything. I'm sorry that you're not fully satisfied in bed right now, but he'll come around. He loves you. He's going to realize he also desires you. If you can gently encourage him to s…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 01:06 AM
1

Okay, so I know that babies cry. I've never had one, but I'm pretty sure they cry for a hot minute... or in my case, as Mama said to me, the first two years of my life. Sleep dep is real for new parents. If he's waking early to go to work, and maybe hearing baby cry in the night, his sleep is broken and generally of miserable quality. That'll have an effect on libido, I think!
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 12:59 AM
2

So, that's a pretty well-buried lede. :) Everything changes for new parents! It's not only women who have to adjust. How much sleep are the two of you getting? How much time not catering to baby? Does he work? Do you? Eight weeks in most English-speaking countries is "just off mat leave", so if you do work, how have the two of you adjusted to that shift?
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 12:38 AM
6

If you want to date Christian men, talk about Christ and the Bible with them. Surely they'll be aware that Jesus defined marriage as being between TWO people only.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 12:30 AM
3

I'm deeply sorry that you had to find out that you don't like casual sex through, apparently, having more of it than you wanted to. This is the lie modern culture tells to young women: it's okay to screw around! You're never going to regret your hoe phase! Well, you seem to be regretting yours. The only thing I can recommend for you, since dating seems to go hand in hand with sex for you, is to stop dating altogether until you have yourself more together. You said, "I tend to put other’s feeling…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 12:20 AM
3

So, are you attractive enough to merit a 6-foot athlete? Or if you were honest with yourself, would you own that a reasonably slender man of 5'9" or 5'10" is exactly what you deserve? Men aren't going to be established at under 27. I hope that's not something you're looking for, either, because they need time to grow into their lives.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 11:11 PM
1

Also completely fair. I must be a lot more trad than I thought. Behold, the liberal tradfemme. 🤣
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 10:15 PM
4

See, a woman who is serious about waiting had better not behave like a whore with him. I don't, and there are no photos of me at parties anywhere. With a N of two, I think I can safely wait until I feel ready. But I'm also behaving like a lady the whole time, and dressing the part, so he knows I'm different. And I don't mind missing out on a "great match" who can't respect my need to wait. The right match for me is also different from the norm.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 10:05 PM
1

Yeah, agreed with you there. If it's truly arbitrary to you, reconsider your motives for delay. A steady relationship with love and trust is the only context that makes me feel safe; I also know that once I feel safe, it's hard to stop me showing my love in that way. For people who aren't demi or who are sex-positive, I imagine there are fewer barriers to sex.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 09:43 PM
2

There's such a difference between having sex with a man you have vetted, love, and want for your own husband and a man who is asking you to do it before you are ready solely to gratify him. Maybe the man I'm looking for knows that love is mutually sacrificial. Who would he rather go to bed with: the eager or the frightened and reluctant?
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 08:23 PM
4

Why do you believe that sex is the cornerstone of romantic love? To me there are so many other factors involved - that's why I don't sleep with men to prove anything. Anyone can have sex, and many people do so without love being involved.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 03:11 PM
71

Okay. You're in a state of shock right now, and understandably: your former life is gone. You need more help than a subreddit can give. Yes, even this one. Right now, you need to put femininity on the back burner in favor of the First Mate role: you're the Captain's second-in-command, and when the Captain is temporarily incapable of Captaining, while your Captain gets used to his new reality, you need to learn a lot more about how to guide the ship. Use all the social services at your disposal. …
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 12:11 AM
7

I'm probably closer to her age than yours, and I say let her be. RP is a strategy to gain the relationship we desire, with the Captain of our dreams. If she seems to have exactly that -- why does she have to change? Maybe her Captain likes the way she dresses and doesn't want her to show anything off. Is she warm? Is she nurturing? Is she his soft place to land? Good job, Mama!
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/23 11:21 PM
7

he will tell me things about what he used to do, such as cleaning his entire house each week despite working 12 hour days, and I am looking around my place and discouraged by the condition He lied about his work situation. You can pretty much depend on this being a lie, too.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 11:53 PM
9

Okay. This man lied to you about something fundamental, and caught you possibly during a time where you were vulnerable. What about this situation is healthy? I don't advise women to leave except when he's demonstrated what an awful Captain he would be. And he has. Amply. If you marry this man, this is what you will get. For better, for worse. And you are at a point in your relationship where you might want to start making some decisions about whether to get engaged or call it off. In your shoes…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 11:52 PM
7

I would seriously talk with him about what pressure he's under and what that's doing to him. It sounds like the pressure is the biggest problem. Everything he's doing stems from pressure on him: pressure to keep up with this single male friend, pressure to live up to unrealistic standards that podcast guys are presenting him with. Possibly pressure around keeping you and your kids happy, so maybe the two of you need to evaluate exactly how much you need to be happy and whether you can be happy w…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 11:31 PM
6

A, podcast guys are not real. They're creating an image they're selling to men like your husband, who have real pressures and worries. You cannot trust an influencer. B, strong male friendships have a positive effect on your man's ability to fulfill his duties and role. This is not a "strong male friendship". C, getaways are one thing, but getaways where he basically forgets who he is? That's symptomatic of deeper issues within himself. Maybe he needs help resolving what that strict upbringing d…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 11:01 PM
2

This friend is not living like he wants kids and marriage. How does his GF feel about his lifestyle? I wouldn't put up with it. There must be other married people in similar life situations somewhere. I don't buy that your husband is a unicorn. Regardless -- the problems here are the friend and the pressure combining to make him pursue hedonism rather than actual solutions. He needs to deal with the pressure. Something's gotta ratchet down in his world. Is there a lifestyle he feels he has to ma…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 10:54 PM
15

This new male friend sounds like the worst possible influence on him. He should be finding friendship with other married fathers. After all, men advise married mothers to stick to their own kind because they know that single and mingling girlfriends are bad news. Are the two of you at all religious? Where do you find community?
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 10:45 PM
10

He hasn’t worked during this time and I am the sole breadwinner. Why? RP women vet their men. I vetted one out after he revealed that he had... heavily implied having a job but nope, he was out of work, writing a book, and planned to take on law school so he could fight gerrymandering or some nonsense. Why did you vet this one in if he's been out of work the entire time you've been with him?
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 10:40 PM
10

This is the husband who went off on a boys' trip not so long ago and got off his face on shrooms? I recognized your username. Does your husband go on boys' trips as often as you seem to imply? I reiterate what I said to you last time: a Captain stays with his ship when it's not shipshape. I honestly think if you're stressed and working two jobs (family business + mothering), he needs to stop going on the trips.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 10:38 PM
3

The esthetician who did my last facial blew my mind. That's a level of caregiving no-one has provided for me in my life. That's worth doing every few months if you can spare the cash.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 12:03 AM
5

Might not be a popular suggestion with the RP folks. Why would masturbation be against RP advice? To my mind it's the perfect solution to wanting orgasms but not hopping on the cock carousel. Rip one or two out, what's the harm? RP isn't conservative evangelical.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 12:01 AM
3

Eventually I think you adjust to it I adjusted to not having sex or kissing. I live at home, so there's plenty of hugs to be had (we're a very snuggly family). When I can't hug a human, I definitely haul the more tractable of the cats into my arms for a quick cuddle -- and of course there's always a cat around when I'm sleeping, any warm butt will do.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 12:00 AM
13

I don't think you can expect someone to make the best interpersonal choices when they're preoccupied with how good the carpet feels. I don't think getting to a state where you're preoccupied with how good the carpet feels is defensible when your home is in a shambles. As his was. And it's really inappropriate to equate having a spa day with being off your head on shrooms for a wild weekend with the boys.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/23 09:35 PM
19

I don't know, I'd say not liking your husband running off to get stoned with his buddies is pretty reasonable. Especially if he's leaving you to mop up a mess. A Captain stays with his ship when it's in peril.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/23 09:31 PM
7

I don't know why you're being downvoted because you're right. Maybe not according to men's RP, but we are not men. We are women. We cannot take it anywhere, anytime; our bodies were made to need things like lubrication, whether natural or artificial, and a certain warming-up so our vaginas would stretch to accommodate a penis. What is the world coming to when we can't acknowledge biological reality?
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 12:30 AM
8

Paywalled! I'm not paying to see someone who looks terrible in whatever she may be wearing.
/r/AntiFeminists15/11/23 12:09 AM
3

Accepting responsibility for your life and your choices is how you know you're a woman, not a girl. I'm super glad to see you pulling up your knickers and getting to work. Change radiates from the centre, so remember who it all has to begin with. You can do the thing!
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 10:31 PM
8

Sure! Simply put, when every whim of ours is met with a "Yasss, queen!", we lose all humility and forget that anything we do is wrong. But when others quietly check us in our thinking, and don't validate us every time we declare something ("Mum, Dad, I'm a half-fae dragon") we learn to see sense and reality.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 03:58 AM
6

It's possible you are no longer a new shiny. It's also possible that the strain of being far from home and doing his job is getting to him, and since you are so new, your relationship is not yet his place of peace. If he's gotten aggravated with you about the texting thing, STFU and wait for him to get back to a place where he can be more communicative (both literally and figuratively).
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 09:15 PM
15

My friends. I can’t relate to them anymore. It worries me. They are all in that “child free” philosophy and all want to be the “fun wine aunt” which is all fine except whenever I’ve had marriage issues they have been very aggressive about “leave him, you don’t need a man” etc. These are toxic women. You don't have to be a rabid wine-swilling "get the bag" 304 to be childfree. I'm living proof. I have no desire for young children of my own (wouldn't mind being a stepmom to 13+, so maybe I'm not t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 09:03 PM
4

I just took the reddest-pill tack I could muster up! Red pill women are strong. We know our limitations, but the weakest of us is still made of sterner stuff than those sad blue-pilled girls. That's why we need good Captains. So recognize that you are not a sad blue-pilled, blue-haired wino with an unnatural relationship to your pets. You're a woman looking for a true match to your nature.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 04:24 PM
6

Mercy is not weakness. Mercy raises us above our animal instinct to gut our enemies. Mercy is not a fawning, "oh, it's okay, there's no harm done here" -- it's "You have done wrong. I see that, I acknowledge that, and I need you to acknowledge that. But if you don't or can't, I'm not going to sink to your level. I'm going to stay classy."
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 03:50 PM
8

Of course it's different for men and women. We're both looking for the optimal situation... for us. So for men, that might look like polygamy. But for women, it looks like hypergamy: we trade up. And honey, if my partner were acting like the scrub you describe, I would be looking. He's acting low-value right now. I almost never say this to women -- we normally think far too highly of ourselves -- but get some self-worth! "I've already apologized, I don't know what else you want me to do". You've…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 03:43 PM
10

maintaining a traditional relationship which is very important to my boyfriend he mentioned we were in a one sided open relationship because him and I had a conversation about it once and he got confused on whether he had permission or not These things are incompatible. What he is asking for is a relationship in which you behave according to a set of rules that he dictates, and he does not himself follow. Ask yourself if you can respect a man who is so morally inconsistent.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 02:27 PM
7

I recommend The Queen's Code by Alison Armstrong. I mean, I recommend it all the time, but it's what's called a didactic novel -- it teaches women how to turn from seeing men as scum to understanding them better and learning to appreciate them.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 11:46 PM
10

Very much this. They're both dogs with fleas. Avoid at all costs.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 06:55 PM
19

I had a relationship where I had to be his personal porn star. It's not as fulfilling for me as it was cracked up to be. If he hasn't got the self-control to avoid degradation and sex workers, then he's not my Captain.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 06:53 PM
2

They don't all do that, though. They don't all go to New York to consume. A friend went to New York to start his life over. The woman he eventually chose was a plain, kind-spirited friend of his family. Even I outglam her, and you know I side-eye that pink pill stuff. But he had friends himself, and I find it hard to believe that they had nothing in common with him. He didn't go to work at Goldman and make 500K. He went to work at IKEA and make enough to survive. He humbled himself. He had a JD …
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 10:49 PM
3

OP is approaching this like a man. I'm not sure Subject-Scientist is far wrong here.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 10:32 PM
2

I will tell you my understanding of God, and then you can tell me why you don't just convert and be done: The highest laws of all laws are these -- that you love God, and you love others. From these all of the rest of the commandments derive. Thus, when you honour your parents, as you say you must and as filial piety commands, you love. You fulfill the law. When you promise to care for them at their deaths as they desire, even though their traditions are not Christian, you are doing a Christian …
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 09:53 PM
2

How do you know? You have one married man's word to take on that. But what if he's not the kind of guy who would be best for you?
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 09:31 PM
1

What about your own family's traditions? Do you derive no comfort from them? New York is a large city. There must be someone who shares them.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 09:10 PM
1

I think you need to decide what kind of man you want to attract. Only a certain kind of man, regardless of location, wants a woman who is high maintenance. Most men are actually thankful for a woman who can deal with her own hair, paint her own nails (which are of a sensible length), and look good in less than a full beat face. Do you want a man who puts so much emphasis on the superficial? Because it's frankly untrue that they're all like that. Even in New York.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 09:09 PM
2

Oh! It just occurred to me -- you would be well-suited to someone who practices "granny religion", you'd be a hit and a half in New Orleans where they mix Christianity with folk witchcraft.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 07:58 PM
2

Do you live where there are winters? And are you comfortable branching out from pants?
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 05:48 PM
7

I plan to look at my Captain with awe, respect, and the lust that's bound to engender in me. Some would call it a kink; I think it's the natural order of things! Very much it should be genuine, because just like faking orgasms, faking lust for your man is a killer. I can't speak to the last three bullet points, but I wanted to chime in where I actually could. :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 05:13 PM
2

Vindicta is over there
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 04:01 PM
2

As for why I'm considering hanging out with religious people. My married friend told me I'm undateable and have to "go Evangelical" because I don't want to fork within the first 3 dates. So, he suggested it. Mainline Protestants might be a better bet. Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, Episcopalian. Quakers and UU are great too! But the further you get from tradvangelicals, the more likely he is to be "sex-positive" ("Women should always be DTF!!!"). I'm more interested as to why your married fr…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 02:54 PM
6

I would try picking up the cooking and cleaning, then. If he marries you, you two can consider having you be a SAHW, which would free you to do the things he really values you doing, if the finances work.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 02:40 PM
7

INFO: Do you work? Full-time or part-time? If you work part-time, and he works full-time, it's obvious to me that you should be picking up the housework. It's something he seems to want, and has said that if you do this, he will marry you. So...? If you both work full-time, and your income is barely making a dent in your bills, you both need to sit down and look at the finances. Maybe it makes sense for you not to work. Or to just work part-time. And if he truly backs out of his commitment to ma…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 02:19 PM
9

INFO: What keeps you in NYC? If the market is so hard and the cost of living so high, why would you rather stay there than find somewhere that secular men are more reasonable? Do you prioritize your location above finding a husband? No shame if you do; I do, but my family and my livelihood are here. If I lost my parents tomorrow and all of my job options went into the toilet, there would be no reason to stay. Believe me, it isn't the dating market. Also INFO: what about you makes you particularl…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/23 11:59 PM
5

I apologize for the misunderstanding. In my experience, a man who is willing to pursue after any kind of "no" is not a good man. I have been guilted and coerced into acts that were degrading to me, part of his pornsick world. I was also very young. I learned that for me, at least, the only yes is yes. People who can live on the edge of consent need to be absolutely sure the rest of their house is in order. Seduction games are for solid relationships where no-one has ever abused anyone.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 11:20 PM
2

You sound to me like a "not right now". Many of us who are "never ever" on the subject have reasons that are not as subject to change. For example, I gradually gained the understanding that my body was inhospitable to a growing fetus because I needed medications that could not be stopped for the duration of pregnancy and breastfeeding. Further, I had a revulsion for at least the first trimester of pregnancy, and couldn't see myself being thrilled about the rest of it. I never had a desire to exp…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 11:17 PM
13

What you're describing is still above RPW's pay grade. I suggest reaching out to a therapist. Also, unless it's your kink, legally no means no, not "let me hound you until you give in just to shut me up".
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 07:19 PM
8

10, which to me is dead-on normal BMI with a small cushion. Like me. Then, in order, toned, slightly overweight, slightly underweight, and all of them should know how to dress it. And if you cannot be one of those, be honest about it. No fatfishing. It isn't just women who show up to dates looking nothing like their photographs.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/23 02:11 PM
4

.../s?
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 06:09 PM
1

I will work on attracting those people into my life. Starting tomorrow, after I've slept some. 😴
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 05:23 AM
2

Some days I feel like the only sex-negative woman in any given room. I swipe left on anyone who has the "sex positive!" chili pepper on his profile because I know he's doing it both for male feminist points and to make sure she does whatever degrading thing he wants, when he wants. Give me a moderate man who can lead a relationship and not expect me to make myself vulnerable before monogamy and trust - love would be nice, tbh.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 05:09 AM
2

I don't believe you've missed anything. And as I find my politics shifting, I think I will find my choice of men opens up much more - there are a LOT of moderates out there, turns out! A lot of indies, a lot of apolitical.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 04:02 AM
2

Thank you for your clarity. And if you have suffered a loss - I'm so very sorry!
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:15 PM
1

Oh, wow! What an amazing love story for you! I'm really excited that it's working out and you are able to trust that things will work themselves out. Your baby might need to be born where they are to have that closer connection with their brother!
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:09 PM
2

I then said just because I like doing it doesn't mean I want to be taken advantage of though. Perhaps it is wise to second-guess what we're saying, as women, especially if we know that we have a habit of going off. When we think about what to say, two things are important: Is it necessary? Is it kind? I don't think this part of the conversation fell under either. There are ways to phrase "I feel like I could use help with a few things" (for example, like that!) that won't imply that It's All His…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:54 AM
5

I hope I meet the man who makes me want to follow him off a cliff, I'll put it that way! You're so right about not being able to quantify or negotiate these things. When it's right, I might be able to do as my mother did and follow him across an ocean.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:45 AM
3

Thank you. I will try to focus on the hope and not the despair. I will lift mine eyes unto the hills and all that. ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:42 AM
3

I do have options here (an astounding amount given age!). And you're right about a husband's promises. I would definitely vet for a man who would do his best to provide for us both. But when I say I'm specialized... I have looked at other places I could potentially move for reasons, and nothing. Two states have organized networks of non-lawyer mediators and support staff. Two. Canada uses court mediators, which... I could at least take training and end up being one of those. But darn if I didn't…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:00 AM
6

Yeah, if he's talking retirement then I'm assuming we'll plan for that together. Then I won't mind so much. Dreams are wonderful things to have and I'll try to stay open to his.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 02:54 AM
5

With regards to 1, I want the kind of man who can make a living here. I genuinely don't need wealth or chase it. Big shrug at the people chasing big houses and high earnings - I want us to be able to live with a cushion for emergencies, but not live large. Thinking about 2, that is and it isn't helpful. I mean, no, nobody wants to be told to stay where they don't belong, but if I make it clear from the outset that I'm tired of starting lives over, that I need the stability that here provides, he…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 02:51 AM
3

Now after years of partying being in my late 20s I obviously don’t have to worry about men like before LOL I wouldn't be laughing. We talk a lot about how women don't need to fear the Wall, and generally they don't -- unless they do exactly what you did! You stripped yourself of all femininity and took to drinking and smoking. Now that you've realize you want a man who will commit, you're looking for ways to turn back the clock. You can't do that. You can make the best of who you are now, but it…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/23 04:57 PM
5

You'll come off as you, the woman he loves. And they will love you because they see you as he does.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 05:41 PM
5

This is a dry shampoo that dusts on, instead of being sprayed. I'm sure it's not the only one of its kind. Also, your scalp can be trained not to produce as much sebum... if you stop washing your hair daily. You claimed to need to look business professional, but if I'm reading correctly, there are times when sleeveless is OK? Do we not do blazers with business professional anymore? I am also an expert at long sleeves in high heat; linen does the trick for the home setting, and if you're just com…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 04:31 PM
3

So, dance tights in your skin tone will do a lot to disguise any leg hair you don't have time to shave. Definitely ask your husband about laser hair removal, but it's okay to find an interim solution. If you're worried about arm hair, wear long sleeves. Office buildings are almost universally air-conditioned to the hilt, because men wear suits and can't exactly doff their jackets, so where professional dress is expected, chances are you won't fry. What about your hair cannot be pre-styled the ni…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 03:50 PM
10

You've got this. If he hasn't suggested you cover your skin, then you probably don't need to cover your skin. Let him lead you through this. And hey, you're showing your generosity! When the nervous wobbles get you, take a deep breath and reach for the security you feel in your relationship. You'll be OK as long as you trust him.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 03:43 PM
36

Darling one, he wants you to meet his brothers, not his bros. :) That's a good thing! He wants his classy babe by his side! He's telling you what he sees you as. If you want to cover the tattoos, there are excellent makeup options for that. And nearly everyone looks right in navy. <3 Order the dress. Plan on being his classic beauty with a little edge. He loves you and he wants people to see you looking your best.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 03:14 PM
7

Instead of assuming I know how this breaks down, where is the majority of your time going, and how are you spending it?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 02:00 PM
2

I agree with this. I was thinking OP meant that there was a situation where he was browsing very openly, like, leaving his phone right there with OF girls popped up, and she saw it, or if he was constantly talking about OF girls, but if you have to go snooping, just give up. You don't respect him, you don't trust him, he'll find his match elsewhere.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/23 05:55 PM
14

If my crush (who I've never gone on a date with and we have not acknowledged any mutual attraction) were interested in OF girls, clearly he would not be interested in a woman like me except for one reason. So... no longer a crush, haha. But it's his right to choose that kind of girl, no matter what I think of them. Ultimately it's God's judgment he'll have to face and not mine.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/23 04:50 AM
34

Children must be a hell yes, or else they are a hell no. For the children's sake. So if your boyfriend knows he wants kids and you aren't sure, don't waste ten years with a man who knows he wants kids. It's better to regret being childless than having children you don't want for the children's sake. Spending ten years in what may turn out to be a dead-end relationship is a waste of a woman's time. He may suppose that in your thirties, you will have plenty of time to find someone else, since you …
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/23 02:31 AM
12

I suppose "attend a luxe, international university" could be a valid tactical behavior that helps you achieve your goals, but think carefully what kind of men you're looking to attract before you shamble blindly into these circles. Money alone means nothing.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/23 10:22 PM
8

Very interesting to hear. Red pill women are supposed to be different from red pill men.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/23 09:37 PM
2

We appear to both be women of some kind of faith. Would you be offended if I prayed for your safety and calm?
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/23 07:42 PM
3

I can't speak to the living together, but I can speak to the anxiety! One of the things that works for me is focusing on my body. Where am I feeling the anxiety? What can I do with my breath to slow everything down and come into a better mindset? When it hits at night, I'll start counting back from some ridiculous number that I know I'll feel better before I hit zero. I do pray. I throw my mind and heart open to God and trust in the promise that all who seek rest can come unto Him. I also fill m…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/23 06:58 PM
32

Pearl waxed eloquent on the subject of high value men here, and SunshineSundress went over some things you might like to know here. To add my personal perspective: a man who is high value to me does not cheat. It is his choice whether he provides or asks me to pitch in. And it is my choice to state, at the outset, that I am looking for monogamy. Perhaps define what makes a man high value to you, and you will find where your personal boundaries lie around fidelity and monogamy.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/23 06:18 PM
25

I see you're already on Vindicta. That's where questions like this one belong: in pink pill communities that are more about how women can get the best out of a man, than in red pill communities where women are thinking about their worth to their man. There's a subtle difference.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/23 06:12 PM
1

He never thanks me for the deep cleaning, the ironing of his shirts, taking care of our dogs etc... He just tells me that "No one asked you to do that". Well... from what I've seen here, he really didn't ask you to do that. Covert contracts are terrible things. When we do something nice, or something we believe is necessary to a situation but it isn't really, when we go above and beyond without asking if that's required, and then expect people to notice and be grateful, we haven't stopped to con…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/23 11:34 PM
6

It appears that the harshest judge of men for not paying is... you. I want to make society less painful for men, so I'm opting out of judging them if I see a woman pay. It makes more sense to me than elaborate theatrics such as slipping a man my card under the table.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 11:26 PM
3

hostile, rules-based approach What would you say if I told you that sex is an expression of love and trust for me, and therefore something I reserve? I had a considerate man push himself out of the running because he realized that I was looking for my forever person and he was definitely not. I mean, yes, he offered to scratch any itches I might have on the way to my forever person, but also he realized that I had a different standard and that was okay.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 09:08 PM
2

Do you have any other criteria for a potential mate, or just "must be a provider who will commit"?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 09:04 PM
2

Grab the book, too. Take the Love Dare. Let God's grace for you and your husband become the kind of grace my parents made room for in their marriage when they were on the verge of divorce. They have 45 years now. <3 I wish you only wellness, sweet one.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 12:37 AM
1

Please consider asking your doctor whether it's safe for nursing. Some meds are, and your doctor would hopefully have known you were nursing when they prescribed the med. Better living through chemistry is sometimes the best solution.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 12:13 AM
1

Are you Christians? I can't help but be reminded of "Fireproof" right now.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 12:05 AM
9

Old money, especially East Coast, follows a different, older set of rules that new money won't have been brought up knowing about.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 07:29 PM
1

Sorry I've been so slow! Yes, you're right, there are so many different kinds of nonprofits. Mine is small for what we actually do (about 20 people at the moment? stretched out over eight counties) yet all of us, our CEO included, absolutely need to put in full-time hours in order to make the dream work. We don't have the budget to hire more hands, so we all take on more work. But on the other hand... I don't think I would like myself very much, and I don't think a man would like me very much, i…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 04:44 PM
1

I truly love the works of Eva Ibbotson and, as a Christian, those of Grace Livingston Hill.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 04:38 PM
2

head a committee or nonprofit organization I have to say, as someone who works for a nonprofit, heading one is more than a full-time job. You'd not be a homemaker with a hobby then, you'd be a working wife.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 05:09 PM
8

The options have been flat-out terrible, in fact. Nearly all of them have children who are younger than high school -- that's a dealbreaker for me, not sorry. Then there's the ones who want kids, which I don't. So that leaves "open to kids" and "doesn't want kids". Of those men, I have to want to kiss them. And God help me, but Bubba from the sticks ain't it. Especially not Fat Bubba, which is a lot of what's out there. Nearly all of them want a travel partner or someone who likes being out on t…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 05:08 PM
5

I love that description! He absolutely has to be the kind of man who puts his alpha traits to a protective, not a selfish use. That kind of man is gold. Once you have him, don't let him go.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 06:23 PM
15

(Wrong account before. Sigh.) So -- yes, to this. Most of us out there are looking for a safe escalation towards being seen as, well, hot-blooded women. There's a reason the Greater Beta is often touted as the solution to a Red Pill Woman's dilemma: he has the right blend of alpha/beta traits to make her feel both cherished and sexy. He keeps her on her toes just enough. You don't want to raise your n for a cad, and you don't want to be bored. The sweet spot is right in the middle. The slow burn…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 04:50 PM
11

It is truly sad that that even needs to be said, but then I hop on my other username and realize that it does. I got reamed for "supporting a shitty man" on XX when I suggested that he might need support in a very specific way that I do, too. It wasn't even gendered for me, but some women will make everything gendered.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 12:56 AM
2

women withholding sex as much as they can while dating Does it, though? https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/qh9xsa/why_buy_the_cow_when_he_can_get_the_milk_for_free/
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 12:49 AM
1

When you're 70, you're not going to care much how good the sex was. It's being there for each other. It's having children that were raised properly and in a healthy home. OP mentioned to another poster that she did not want children, so this is probably less of a priority to her.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 12:31 AM
1

Know what you MUST have in a partner. Know what you're willing to compromise on. ALL people must compromise on something. NO ONE, no matter their DMV, gets precisely what they want. I'll add that what you're willing to compromise on might be flexible depending on the guy and his circumstances, and absolutely will shock the hell out of you when that happens. In a good way. :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 12:11 AM
14

Remarkable how quickly your legal contacts pile up if you work in legal-adjacent fields. Definition might work in one.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 02:46 PM
1

Women can mitigate the financial risks for men. Men can't mitigate the social risks for women. So I don't think I'm being unreasonable. You don't have to get married, but a blanket moratorium on the act is only going to drive decent women out of the dating arena and into going their own way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:19 PM
1

No. And that's not what marriage is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 10:47 AM
1

Oh. You think I'm a gold-digger. Shortstack, whether or not I marry I'm going to inherit a house. I want a prenup to protect ME and MY future assets. The difference is societal and you refuse to accept that as valid. Tough nuggets to you. Go get your dick wet in some syph-ridden coed. She won't want to marry you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:38 PM
1

There's no "teehee" about "I can't look myself in the eye in the morning". If you really think there's nothing special about a marriage compared to an LTR, you and I are not compatible enough to spend the rest of our lives together. If you're seriously boiling marriage down to money, then I question whether you're even fit for an LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:28 PM
3

That guy is still somewhat too jacked to be the kind of skinny I've run into. That said, he's dreamy :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:24 PM
2

Frankly, I don't owe any man any justification for wanting to be married to him other than "it would hurt me deeply not to be your wife". It would, in fact, feel an awfully lot like that nut crushing thing. Always the "squeeze", never the one who's gonna last, oh ho these young'uns are doing some newfangled thing, wonder why he stays, is it because she's a firecracker in bed? Can't be because he loves her or they would be married. Society still thinks like that. I am not getting my soul and repu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:10 PM
11

Type 2 is not skinny. I have seen skinny and it does not even get to pretend it has muscles. That said, your Type 2 is the closest it gets for me. Then Type 1. Then all the others are tied for last. Type 7 is my ideal: not jacked, tiny li'l cute li'l belly, lean arms and legs, tight ass, and please not a monster package 'cause I'm built too small.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:12 PM
2

If he's interested in being with me forever, and we're really and truly compatible, then he understands where I'm coming from and cares how I view myself. That "wife" title carries respectability with it that I don't get from "girlfriend". Trust me when I have reason to say I'm not talking out my ass on this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:01 PM
0

Frankly I'd sooner gas myself than be either of those women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:37 PM
2

Wouldn't you rather be a "forever girlfriend" to a man you know is in it for life because he wants to be than to be the wife of a man who suffers through his marriage because it's slightly less unpleasant than getting a divorce? That's a terrible set of choices. I want to be the wife of a man who's there because he wants to be, and understands that under my value system, marriage is important. Me feeling like a whore or a mistress isn't going to change because he pats me on the head and tells me…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 05:25 PM
-1

Women's uteri. Women's vaginas.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:25 PM
4

He won't have to hear it at the altar from me because we'll have hashed it out in our prenup.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:23 PM
3

But when it comes to giving us the security of marriage, suddenly that's a romantic gesture too far. I don't need the bullshit gifts. I don't need to go places. Attention should be a give and take between us. But marriage is non-negotiable to me because being a forever girlfriend is no better than being his whore or his mistress.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:22 PM
2

Yes, I would. And did. But you're dead to decency, aren't you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:45 AM
0

Insofar as I am feminist (I'm not very), my feminism will include all genders. Incidentally, I find 6/6/6 unutterably shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:50 AM
13

Now whether you will have a nice genuine happy marriage with these types of men is another question. I'd say that's the most important question of all. But Vindicta types don't care.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 11:06 PM
2

No to the first, rendering the second impossible. I am also an only grandchild on my mother's side (for a reason).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 10:43 PM
10

I'm going to go against the grain here and say it's FOMO. all my friends around me having their first babies They're getting attention that you're not. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A KID Don't have a kid unless you are 100% sure that you want one. Kids are irreversible, and contrary to what another commenter said, it's not "whoop gonna go back to regular life after 5 years at home with kiddo". You're always going to have those extra responsiblities because that child is yours. Are you actually married t…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 05:09 PM
9

Your ex sounds a little bit entitled, I'm sorry to say. If he only drinks natural spring water, then I wish him luck moving somewhere with a natural spring. The rest of us make do.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 04:40 PM
5

Probably in future, you want to sit down with your next man and express to him that you cannot carry more than a certain amount. Calmly, gently point out that your strength is less than his, and it would make more sense for him to carry the water bottles. But if I expected to live on the 16th floor and drank that much water, I'd probably bite the bullet and get a water purifier and some growlers to take with y'all. Work smarter, not harder.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 04:28 PM
7

Dick is in abundance. Not good partners. Get that straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 02:58 PM
7

Wow. A young woman dating to marry is a high standard. The hell is a reasonable standard, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 01:29 PM
4

You have a gift for simile, my dove. Never lose it. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 01:13 PM
4

Are you sodding kidding me? I'm looking for the ones that aren't, to borrow from Hannah, "hairy toes" who want to be supported on my 37K, who are liberal (oddly enough, for religious reasons), and who don't want kids. You'd think I was hunting unicorns. And this was true before The Wall (splat!) [edit] Right, but I forgot: and who want to marry me at some point. Because I'm not a fucking whore.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 12:43 PM
2

But if it is a genuine turnoff, and she can't be sexual with him when he's acting goofy, then what's going to happen to them if she says nothing?
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 12:32 AM
5

[waves a dang lighter] [none of that wack-ass millennial lighter on a cell phone shit, an actual lighter] KEEP SINGING
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 11:45 PM
2

Some women don't like feeling like they have to sit around and wait for a man to initiate anything. That's me, and I initiate. Sometimes with good luck, sometimes with rotten luck, but if he looks promising, I try.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 11:36 PM
3

C. A is too young, even if he is cute as a button, and B wants kids. C is a normal-looking, normal sounding guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 11:21 PM
18

Nope! No guilt here! My genes are crap and I'm happy to let the bloodline die!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 11:00 PM
1

If I'm trying to ascertain sexual compatibility, for instance, I would not ask his dick size. A, embarrassing, and B, nasty girl behavior. No good. Or, since I need a guy who's stable in his profession, quietly figuring out how long he's been at it and what his plans are beats "So, I have issues around finances, and it's imperative to me that you be able to support yourself in the long term because the most I'll ever make is $24/hour."
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 10:13 PM
1

I'm ND and I think testing a man is silly, but the part of me that was raised NT does in fact throw the odd test out there -- because sometimes it's rude to just ask the questions that need asking.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 10:01 PM
2

I've met men who are mentally 27, men who are mentally 70, and men who are mentally about 45, all in the 40-55 age range. I've always been older than I am mentally, so I've always matched well with guys who were mentally about 45-50. Finally being 37 is, like, fucking awesome. Because now almost no-one is bawwing at me about how I'm about to get taken advantage of.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 09:19 PM
1

Physical age or mental age? The difference between the two can make or break compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 08:14 PM
1

...so I'm a grown woman, but I'm still a vulnerable girl somehow?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 07:26 PM
0

So does any of this apply when one person is my age and the other is in his fifties, or is this strictly to do with young women? I'm talking with a guy who's 33... and a guy who's 53.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 04:05 PM
6

truer words :D
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 03:44 AM
100

Was debating a very triggered lady Well, there you are. It's a trigger for her. Ask a woman for whom it's not a trigger. No, and I can't believe I have to say this, someone attracted to a sexually mature legal adult is not a pedophile. I'm middle-aged and certainly not jealous; I know what I bring to a relationship is different, and I'm kind of glad I'm not that young anymore. And yes, young women do have agency. Gen Z has issues around adults and adulthood, at least the terminally online ones d…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 03:08 AM
1

Modern men and women's interests dovetail, besides which I have interests that tend to straddle the gender line, like history and music. Men like these things, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 11:11 PM
0

I can't see how I would make conversation with someone who shares none of my interests or politics. "Nice day?" "Yep. You?" "Yep."
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 10:46 PM
0

Then how am I supposed to be characterizing them? They've swiped right on me, but we have nothing in common and it's fairly obvious. What are they hoping to get other than sex? Which they aren't getting outside the context of a loving, trusting relationship with a compatible partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 10:36 PM
1

Tell me about it! My ex was as smug as he can be, but he had all the ethics of an alley cat about the non-monogamy, since he drove his existing wife to drink by taking me for a mistress.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 10:12 PM
2

Some people are genuinely wired for infidelity, to the point they can't keep it in their pants. Or under their skirts. I feel for them, but I can't not be monogamous. I can't feel security in a relationship where I'm not the only one.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:41 PM
1

Absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:27 PM
3

It is desperation, I'm sure, when it comes to the ones who are in their later forties and still expect me to want kids with them. It's downright degradation when he's poly and just wants another girl for the harem.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:18 PM
1

No, no, it's something I'm interested in. I think I'd sooner take the man who isn't dominant, but equal, if it meant he were also kind. If I can't have kind and dominant then I'd prefer the kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:13 PM
4

How do you know? He's firmly established himself as a liar.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/23 09:08 PM
9

Well, your scattered thoughts nailed it for me. My Bumble beeline is full of men who obviously haven't got a thought in their head about who I am -- all they want is what they want. I'm swiping right on men who might be compatible with me, they're swiping right on Has A Vagina. And no.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 08:37 PM
2

Your source is the Daily Fail? IDGAF about America's fertility anyway. It would behoove us to have fewer but better-planned children.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 07:55 PM
1

What was different about speaking with ND women vs. NT women?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 07:50 PM
2

Was never and still am not to the same extent I wasn't before. I had myself sterilized because I was sure -- I've been trying since I was 25 but no doctor believed me. Cat or dog mom, now? Happily. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 04:25 PM
1

Think back to the difference. What was it like?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:11 PM
1

At least we aren't bullies.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:10 PM
1

Really not. It's next to impossible, however, to define something that presents in myriad ways. These are the guys who find themselves also getting diagnosed late in life, or who have done the same work I have in learning how to socialize. Men who definitely come across as different, but unless you were also ND, you wouldn't know what you were looking at.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:02 PM
3

No. I was never interested in kids, just men. Perhaps someday I'll be an emergency foster placement for teens. That's the extent of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 02:57 PM
2

I keep responding from the Not For PPD/RP account. It's maddening. Short of it: I respond well to autistic men who, like me, are high-functioning. I could ostensibly stealth my way through the talking stages, unless you knew what you were looking at. I don't actively seek fellow NDs out, but I'm open to them and I seem to attract them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:13 AM
2

This is why ND/ND relationships work so well: you can learn his special interest and he can learn yours, if the two of you are THAT passionate about them!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 02:49 AM
1

So why are you doing it? Why not be the change you want to see in the world?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 02:13 AM
11

I get nagged, judged, and lectured because people assume that's my ultimate truth. It is not -- I have never had a functional biological time clock -- and people need to stop assuming. I'm not desperate, I'm just interested. But because I'm 37, I must be desperate, right? /s
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 02:09 AM
12

I'm surprised you aren't luckier in finding outdoorsy guys, because I can't throw a stone without seeing MOUNTAINS! TRAILS! KAYAKS! on the apps. Two factors I can think of that contribute to this: I live on the edge of a lot of beautiful country. Do you live in a city or a suburb? Also, have you considered looking 7-10 years older than yourself? That's where you find the men who are done with their first marriages, but still tend to want more kids/be ready for kids if they didn't have any in the…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/23 02:04 AM
-1

I can tell you that at least one is not too shy, because he took me on a hike today. :) I made the first move, but he responded more than enthusiastically, and we've had some really bold conversations. We've also both lived bold lives, and are both autistic/ADHD, so maybe it's a matter of like calling to like. Did you feel a difference between neurotypical women and your autistic girlfriend, when you were in the talking stages?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 01:57 AM
13

What standards do you have for a compatible man? I'm 37. I don't want kids, but I'm still pretty old to have never been married. I lost a long time to healing from physical and emotional wounds, following a disastrous six-year relationship. I know that the dating landscape looks different for me, and that if I want something real, I can't dwell on a fantasy. That doesn't mean dating Wayne with the Kubota cap when all I want is to have a little house in the city, but it does mean I'm not going to…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/23 01:48 AM
25

Eight months ago, you were 30/31 and wanted kids. That's not such a grand difference from where you are now. What made your dating life dreadful?
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/23 01:03 AM
–

Stability + looks = prime husband material indeed, but don't think that all of us consider it settling. Some of us have been looking for "beta bux" all our life and turning up our noses at alphas because a good-looking Billy won't make our marriages a living hell :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 09:13 PM
7

Nobody that calls themselves ceo without reporting to a board what's worse: She-E-O
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 08:33 PM
8

However, I would prefer to date an educated white-collar worker. Same. I want to be on the same wavelength as my man, like "these are my professional struggles, what are yours?" and even if we're in different fields, we both understand the things that are unique to being in A Profession, as opposed to just having a job.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 08:32 PM
1

Think you've nailed mine. In general, I need him to be doing something stable, I need him to be able to support himself without my help, and I need to not be worrying whether he'll be out of a job in like a year. That was my mom's life while my dad worked. No bueno.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 08:31 PM
1

Wow. You think you know what I am. You have no heckin' clue. Gotta go - Chad's in the driveway.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 03:05 PM
1

Oh, this is for casual. Okay!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 02:14 PM
3

I know at least one who thinks like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 02:12 PM
1

Wow! This is the first time I've heard that 37 is firmly antiquated, and that I absolutely cannot have standards! Oh, and you're definitely the first person who's threatened me with dying alone. Because I don't have extended family or the brains to find female companionship in my old age.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 02:11 PM
2

A penis is, evolutionarily, a giant clitoris. Take a wild guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 01:24 AM
7

You know what? Fair. And thank you for explaining that it's not the ones who look like they get used by Chad that actually get used by Chad. Having always been wary of Chad, and understanding how his game is played, I've spent (let's be honest) all of my adult life only having sex in relationships. I don't foresee that changing, but the reasoning has: I want us to devote time and energy to becoming each other's best lover yet. Preferably ever. One night is not enough. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 01:23 AM
1

Or else women would enjoy gyno visits, and I would stick my fingers in daily lol. So there's a strong mental component to sex. Otherwise men would enjoy prostate exams, you could say. Yes, it matters if the clitoris is stimulated, but it also matters if we're in the mood for love, and that isn't generally true during an exam. The one time it doesn't seem to matter whether the clitoris is being stimulated is during a sexual dream. The body remembers sensations and they feel as real as if they're …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 12:43 AM
2

Does he even know me? It's one thing if we've known each other for a long time, but if he knows nothing about me, what are the odds that he cares about me as a person? What are the odds he'll stay, that he isn't using me? I'd rather be told "I need to get to know you better so that neither of us have regrets the next morning."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 11:06 PM
6

Nobody told you about the kids who are sure at the age of nine or younger that they are LGBTQ+, huh
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 11:03 PM
-1

Sure it does. "They were meaningless. I was using them for their bodies. But I don't want to use you."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:25 PM
2

You made a ring?! OMG, yes, that is treasure. I love that for the two of you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:07 PM
4

I didn't have to "convince myself" to not have children just like I didn't have to "convince myself" to not smoke crack. YES THIS
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:02 PM
8

convincing themselves they don't want kids My prickly friend, I knew at nine that I wanted nothing to do with pregnancy or motherhood. It's still true at thirty-seven. Kinda don't see that changing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:01 PM
-2

Radical notion: what if you're not second fiddle just because you didn't get sex? What if you're the one she actually gives a good goddamn about and he meant nothing?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:59 PM
2

Who are your Chad buddies sleeping with, and what makes you jealous of them? From what I hear, Chad chooses women who basically have Insta-baddie surface and not much substance. He doesn't have to care about what's underneath the inch of makeup on her face, because he's in it for the night. If you want that too, go compete, but don't get mad when women who aren't that, and who don't sleep around, and have real character, tell you you're wrong about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:57 PM
6

Vaccinate him against rabies, get him a snappy vest, he'll be my little buddy for life.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:54 PM
1

Can't you be dominant and friendly? If you're not friendly, what are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:51 PM
3

Your flair is my reality. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:34 PM
4

A woman who wants shitty makeup will trust a celebrity makeup brand. A woman who wants good makeup will hit up the YouTube makeup reviews and go for what's known to be excellent. And then there's me, muttering seditiously in the drugstore eyeliner aisle about just wanting a damn black pencil. As to engagement rings -- sort of? Yes, we cherish the giver more than the gift, but I personally would want him to propose with a band of twine that represents us choosing the ring together. I need somethi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:26 PM
3

fucking cracks me up that you just skipped Tess like "...moving on" this is the appropriate treatment for her, she personally has earned it
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:06 PM
0

Those aren't my prejudices. I have prejudices, but "bawwww men's problems don't care" aren't among them. You must be confusing me for a radfem.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 03:13 PM
0

What? No.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 03:09 PM
1

Honest thanks for saving me a click through to Evie. :) I'm one of the women who finds that behavior unacceptable. Gives us all a bad rap. But I also don't enjoy being paid for. What if he asks for something I can't give in return?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 03:13 AM
1

Evie Magazine has a distinct agenda to it. Find a less biased source.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 03:00 AM
1

Yeah, but after the cheap casual date, I can still look myself in the eye.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 02:59 AM
0

Yup. These days I offer flat-out to pay for my own meal, because I sure as hell don't want him to think he's buying me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 02:49 AM
1

niiiiice, we can nerd out together
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 02:26 AM
2

I mean... yes? The women to whom this is an unpleasant reminder need to check themselves before they wreck themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 02:21 AM
2

Inasmuch as "love language" is an easy shorthand for "do this and you will be mine for life", I put it above the other ones you mentioned. But there are certainly not only 5. Mine are music and spreadsheets.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:59 AM
-1

Ohhhh, I had to vergoogle it -- this guy is the Witcher, no wonder a bunch of girls like him. Geralt z Rivia is definitely not my vibe :D
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:51 AM
3

Thanks. :) I'm rather attached to my dad and I cheer him and his low A1C.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:20 AM
0

Weird. He's kind of... bland. Was the poll American? I can see Americans going for that total lack of personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:19 AM
2

He didn't die. He survived because he did what was right and lost the weight. "Unfairly" prematurely would have been "goddamnit, he was only in his early 60s".
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:12 AM
1

TIL: my mom is Elle Woods
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:21 PM
1

There are a heckin' lot of divorced parents, though! Guess all the childfree guys got snapped up early?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:18 PM
2

did you just compare the prison industrial complex to not being able to get your dick wet
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:02 PM
1

[Mama claps me on the shoulder] "LostGirl, here's how I behaved during my hoe phase in the late 60s/early 70s."
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:01 PM
-2

idk, since I don't have daddy issues, I don't need to attract a man like my dad, so why would I emulate what my mama did to get him?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:59 PM
1

I forgot to say that he neither has kids nor wants kids, which is rare as hen's teeth in combination with the rest. And the rest is already vanishingly rare, as I'm discovering.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:22 PM
1

Can you explain to me this sub's obsession with Henry Cavill? Did he fuck your mother or something and now you're all bitter?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:19 PM
2

Social structures happen to all of us, be we cats or rats or humankind. Humans create social structures, but it's nature's way that we do. We have an innate need to be around other humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:17 PM
1

Nope. Some of us out here get seasick :D
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:13 PM
1

For me, and I'm speaking as an average but short 37-year-old woman, the ideal is something like: 5'7"-5'10", reasonable weight, makes between 45-55K at a job that's stable (i.e. he can expect to be there indefinitely unless he makes a move for more money). Well-groomed, well-styled, actually cares about these things. Is neither extremely goofy nor extremely dour -- and isn't mean. Does not fucking expect me to Travel The World! Have Adventures! Bro, I'm settled. And kayaks have spiders in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:12 PM
1

You're really going there?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:04 PM
7

I'm short, too. So... I'm careful. And have been all my life, and it's worked.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 07:49 PM
1

5'10" are 220 pounds of muscle also, please note, a type of man I would not date :D I don't get hot for jacked, it's just... [waves hands] Too Much Man
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 07:47 PM
1

...everyone has that burden of performance on them. Literally everyone, in a capitalist society (which I'm going to go ahead and presume is your context) is valued according to material wealth. Even children feel it from incredibly, unfairly young ages because we care more about how "high-performing" our schools are than the actual well-being of the children in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 07:46 PM
7

Seeking to date men. Would I date someone overweight? That honestly depends on what it looks like on him, and if it's part of a trend toward obesity. When in doubt, I prefer people who are about 20-27 BMI and below and committed to staying that way. Would I date someone obese? No. No way. I don't find it attractive, it's potentially going to cut this person's lifespan shorter -- no. I'm looking for forever. The vow is not "until diabetes do us part." And since that very nearly happened to my par…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 05:00 PM
1

asking him to make enough to basically support himself in a decent manner in this city is privilege now okay, bro
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 04:10 PM
1

We agree, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 01:57 PM
4

How does he have a different view on finances than your mom? Was he a gambler or drunkard? It seems like he was trying his best and just didn't have the ability to meet your mom's standards. He spent a lot of money on a lot of useless shit. He wasn't trying his best, because trying his best would've meant he actually did pursue an education related to what he had been doing in the military. Instead, he pursued dead-end bullshit like insurance sales and retail -- and then the IT stuff, but this w…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 01:57 PM
2

Women dont care about wanting more money, they care about a combined income leading to a certain lifestyle. The details of that combined income and lifestyle will vary person to person. Absolutely this. I want a small house in an inexpensive part of the city that cuts my commute to ten minutes. Fifteen with the walk from the parking garage to my office. The man who sees this as extravagant must be really parsimonious.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:55 PM
3

Love dies when you're constantly fighting about how you're going to make the mortgage for the hundredth time. Maybe financial stability falls under moral fiber for me, idk, but it's definitely something -- he can be the nicest guy in the world but he's not for me if he can't hold down a job that makes a totally unreasonable 40-45K.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:50 PM
-2

Fair enough. I mean, we can't. I think it was disingenuous of women to tell you to just be yourself when the reality is that women are looking for things like attraction and economic stability. If you can't meet at least those two, you're fucked. Women need to be honest about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:38 PM
0

If "less than what I make" were a reasonable number, I would be all for this. Unfortunately, it is not a reasonable number. My profession is not particularly lucrative. I also remember my parents struggling with money and how my dad did not have the same academic qualifications as my mother, and how that hurt him in the job market once he left the military. He always found himself in situations where he was being laid off or underpaid. I will not be my mother. That isn't unreasonable, to not wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:32 PM
1

Okay, then. You're venting, and I'll respect that. There's not really much of a discussion to be had other than "Yeah, women suck, don't they?"
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:23 PM
-3

Are you looking for affirmation, or are you looking for actionable advice? I ask because there's not much I can say in the way of the former other than "I'm sorry that was your experience".
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:16 PM
2

So plot them on a graph. Where they intersect should be where you find the best guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:21 AM
1

Some women have that attitude, but I don't share it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:18 AM
2

Ooh. Yeah, THAT is a level of delusion that almost warrants medication.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 11:49 PM
-2

If you sit around on a lily pad waiting to be approached, don't be surprised when all you get is frogs.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 11:48 PM
2

ba dum CHING
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:31 PM
12

Is there not a middle road between Cry Baby and a toxic dark triad guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:30 PM
3

I was! I was a young woman trying to get with average-looking men who were indeed stable, responsible, and mature. And what did they say to me? "Oh, you're too young." IDIOTS
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:29 PM
1

Which is why I don't do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:28 PM
6

when you have "Liberal" right there in your profile and they swipe right on you, but they have Let's Go Brandon in their blurb when you have "Don't want kids" in your profile and you talk to them and they ask you "So, did your ex take the kids?" like can you even read? And they swiped right on you. Swipe right on fewer women, metaphorically speaking. We won't be as pissed off at the ones who do give us attention if we know there's a good reason we should give you attention back.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:27 PM
3

You have to want to fuck the guy you're with. That's an unfortunate truth. I've kissed guys who turned out to be really, really bad at kissing and could not, thereafter, imagine them putting their hands on the rest of me. Nobody is entitled to a relationship. Save that for FDS and TRP.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:25 PM
6

Yeah, at least she's honest about that. But she also rendered herself even less dateable by going on to conceive outside of a marriage. So she was a single mom hoping to dupe some poor guy into raising her kid. And if that's his kink then good for him, but I can't imagine being a man, being with a 40+ woman who had a kid but not with me and being cool with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:23 PM
3

Yeah, I get those "only sex" vibes and I'm out. He will not be shooting his shot in me, thanks. And ew. He could be my favorite actor (Not Henry Bloody Cavill) and if all he wanted was a one-night tumble, he'd be scuffed.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:22 PM
6

I'm an introvert. This is just not who I am. Bully for you that you really and truly enjoy befriending randos, but... nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:20 PM
0

I would prefer men to take the word of actual women over studies they aren't bothering to cite, but here we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:19 PM
3

Well, I've had all of two sexual relationships in my life, so... I wouldn't know much about those guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:18 PM
-1

I mean. You could ask the rest of PPD's fine female population what they have to say, instead of assuming he has to make 50% more than we do. Pretty sure most of the women here are fine with a guy who makes about as much as they do. The outliers are FDS hags.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:19 PM
6

You're not sorry. Being disingenuous like that is exactly the kind of move that would put you on the permanent "poison pizza" list if we knew each other IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:18 PM
2

Remarkably, I am. So... "women". Apparently not all of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:17 PM
7

Oh, no, I'm not unaware that men like you think women are fleshlights. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:17 PM
8

What if he's just not your fucking speed? Whether he's a hippie and you're a yuppie, he's a Blue Lives Matter guy and you have ACAB tattooed on your left asscheek, he mows his lawn on weeknights when you're trying to sleep and you want to spike the fucking lawnmower with a stick of dynamite... he could just be That Guy, your own personal bitch eating crackers.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:16 PM
6

"Some girl I know has a relationship with this guy who's hot but always cheats on her. Time and time again, she takes him back, hoping that somehow things would be different now." Still relatable. More so, in that I don't automatically assume fame has rotted her mind. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:15 PM
2

And see, this is why I blow raspberries at Lori Gottlieb. Settling is a recipe for resentment on both sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:11 PM
-1

women still only really want to consider dating a man who makes 50% more than them No. Really not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:10 PM
9

what's wrong with not wanting your partner to be your manchild
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:09 PM
1

And remember. Men have to be the initiators. Boring life if that's how you see things.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:09 PM
10

No pizza is better than poison pizza. Just doing nothing is better than actively being bored out of my skull by someone who has nothing in common with me and with whom I have no interest in maintaining a friendly relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:06 PM
10

Look, if you know who this guy in your neighborhood is, he's not someone you want to be friends with, and you don't want him to get the wrong idea even about that, why would you engage?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:04 PM
8

None of the Kardashians are what I would call stable or well-adjusted human beings, simply by virtue of having been the Kardashians for so many years.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:01 PM
7

Undeserving how? Genuine curiosity.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:01 PM
0

so albinos are right out
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 06:13 PM
2

Oh, God, if my ex ever read here, he would totally say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 05:54 PM
20

You never leave the mob. Run.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/23 01:23 PM
2

But painful, especially when the doctors aren't offering you dilators to help with any pelvic floor issues that might be present!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 01:17 PM
1

I've had medical professionals not believe me when I said "it's not vaginismus, I swear he's just too big". Lazy of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 12:53 PM
1

Until the rise of Victorian morality, it kind of was the definition, at least in Europe.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 01:01 AM
2

Divorced, beheaded, died in childbed, divorced, beheaded, outlived his decrepit corpse.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 01:00 AM
1

which is why, as a girl of thirteen, my absolute favorite actor was an unknown Welshman whose career was firmly D-list
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 12:52 AM
9

If I were dating this man, I would phrase it as "Okay. If there's ever anything you need from me, let's communicate about it. Otherwise, this is something new you shared with me. Thank you for honoring me with your truth." Worth knowing, however, is that I work in a touchy-feely field where we say things like "honoring me with your truth". :D
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/23 12:45 AM
2

it... it's true
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 11:07 PM
1

Precious, if no-one here has told you about the Wall, go in grace but go the hell out of here while you still have a functioning brain cell. TBH, any gender should be making proper contributions to the relationship, no matter what roles the people involved choose for themselves and each other. But they don't seem to care about ethics or empathy in that respect, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 10:57 PM
1

No, just childless, thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 10:52 PM
1

And now you know why I didn't have kids!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 10:52 PM
1

There is no ethical difference. There's no ethic to what you find attractive enough to partner with. I'm really sorry, but them's the breaks and women are constantly reminded of said breaks by men bawwing about The Wall.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 10:43 PM
-4

Men: can be unfuckable, but considered average Women: must be at least Becky to be considered average
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 09:47 PM
2

I'm a plain jane Actually, if you're a fat, post-wall single mother with a high N-count, you're... several rungs below plain Jane. I'm plain Jane. Also post-wall, but slim, low-N, and not a mom. [edited] Jesus fuck, that was harsh of me. I hasten to include: in red pilled men's eyes. Honestly, I know a woman a lot like you who is the sweetest ever. But convince me that the average PPD Joe would see her as valuable.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 09:41 PM
3

No, assuredly if he wasn't into it then I would work harder. The "he" in this equation is seldom not into it, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 09:39 PM
1

If you detest the beach do not pretend to like it. If every moment jogging is miserable suffering do not pretend to like it. Do not imply a future with someone who is very much not you. This is why I'm single right now. Because I refused to do that to a guy. I may end up paying for it! Lori Gottlieb probably thinks I should've faked it as long as he's able to pay the bills and give me a roof over my head! But it would've been a dead bedroom and we would've ended up hating each other's fucking gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 09:35 PM
3

HAHAHAHAHA oh God that's the best one I've heard all day
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 04:40 PM
0

Something like 2-3? Like, one good go at a relationship every 4-6 months?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 04:20 PM
5

I sure as hell didn't vote in that survey that said women are happier being unmarried. I don't want kids but I do want commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 03:59 PM
4

Then he isn't average. He's below par. Average is average: can get a middling number of partners, can actively hold an average woman's interest. If no-one actually wants to have sex with him, something is wrong with him and driving him below average.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 03:24 PM
9

But it sure helps if you went into the relationship thinking "this person is sexy". If you don't do that, eventually one of you will either not be able to get it up, or be starfishing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 01:43 PM
22

Average Joe is enough. You aren't speaking to enough Plain Janes. I'm looking for the Average Joe I want to be intimate with, so that we don't have a dead bedroom down the line, which is something men dread. Do you want to be settled for, or do you want me there enthusiastically?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 01:36 PM
5

If a guy tells you he doesn't want to be settled for, you decide not to settle for him, and he says NO NOT LIKE THAT, that's on him, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 11:42 PM
3

I don't think anyone who talks about their desired gender in terms of number on a hotness scale will ever get them. I'm done doing that, at any rate.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 11:27 PM
1

As long as I think he looks great, who cares what other women think?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 11:25 PM
3

Then for the love of God, what are you doing here? Boyfriend out of town?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 03:00 PM
4

I was never catcalled. And I'm not ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 02:57 PM
9

For me, yes. Been there, dealt with that, never want a hint of it in my life again. Even "open to monogamy or non-monogamy" on a dating profile gets the ol' swipe-left treatment.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 02:57 AM
5

I'd say they're equivalent, given that in one case, the man is not getting sex, but in the other, the woman is not getting intimacy. I tend to think these are the things we bitch about not getting when we bemoan our situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 02:48 AM
8

My theory is she gets the posts from ChatGPT and her comments are just her. The writing style is completely different.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 10:58 PM
7

I don't think "all women are really sexual" is true, but "women have the potential to be really sexual with the right person" has been my reality. Very far from not caring about sex -- it just has to be good sex with a good man.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 07:36 PM
1

This is awesome! Thanks so much! :) I much prefer homemade health snacks to premade because premade has the annoying habit to rely on stevia and aspartame -- sugar is NOT a problem here, but if I do want to substitute something for processed sugar then I'd rather do it with honey! There's a recipe out there I'd like to try that uses honey and protein powder.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 07:17 PM
8

"Be more specific with your standards; if you target common traits like height, wealth, and physique you're competing for standards that every other girl is valuing. Figure out your own most important values and principals and set standards around those instead." This didn't come across as advocating that women be compromised and used to me. Where is the degradation in this advice?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 06:37 PM
4

A celebrity crush isn't reality. And attraction isn't rational or standardized. What I've been attracted to has shocked hell out of me in the past. Things I didn't know I liked? Turns out I liked them in the right combination with other traits. Who'd have thought?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 06:34 PM
1

ngl, I'd like to make him a lasagna we could eat together, but thanks to a bout with Lyme I can no longer digest beef, so I'll have to see whether he can stomach "beef". As long as the protein count stays the same, will he still get the benefit?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 06:20 PM
1

Anyone who makes sexual contact with someone else can pass on an STI. Including lesbians.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 05:29 PM
1

That will be between me, my partner, and my GYN. Life need not end at 50.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 12:04 PM
1

Oh -- I'm pretty sure my salt-and-pepper papi is already in it for the near future. I'm sorry I was unclear: I found someone who suits me very well, like, in the second week of online dating. He's the most normal, well-adjusted dude I've met in a very long time and there's that elusive spark. We've got plans clear into December. I'm going to have trouble keeping him properly fed; he's naturally very active. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 03:33 AM
1

I'm sorry for what happened to your aunt and those other women. Rape is obviously a reason to lock him up and throw away the key. If you feel like he's escalating in an unreasonable way, and HR doesn't believe you, that job is full of bees and you need to no longer be there. Most HR departments now have sexual harassment policies, however. They had them in the 20-teens, too. I'm saying that I'm pretty sure this guy was an outlier, and that most of these situations could benefit from the people i…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 03:28 AM
1

There's a middle ground between saying nothing and going scorched earth.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 03:10 AM
0

in b4 "she's not having sex with ME"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 02:40 AM
1

I must be a man, because as long as someone gets it done and the house doesn't stink or make us sneeze, I don't care. I just. Can't be arsed. I also don't have a bajillion tiny pillows for my bed, and when I was asked what color I wanted my walls, I legit said landlord white will do.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:58 AM
9

I went my own way for nine years, starting at 28. I never pretended I didn't have issues, which is why I didn't prioritize getting into a relationship. I decided I wasn't fit for one, so let's not and say we did until I could really offer the kind of partner I wanted in return. I refrained from picking shitty guys. I talked a lot in therapy about the legit victimization I had experienced in my last relationship, but that's where you're supposed to do it. There was no hedonism happening, and trus…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:53 AM
6

Hey, don't ask me, I try to refrain from writing men off as inc*l losers. If they describe themselves as blackpilled, I know they probably won't be receptive to anything I have to say, but they have rights. And I criticise modern women. We're not angels. We're not even always a we.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:45 AM
8

But you think that offering us dick will lead to us locking down a decent man, when that's not necessarily the case. Men also talk about women who have been offered dick -- they are run-through, they're incapable of pair-bonding after a certain point -- so you know perfectly well that being offered dick alone is no guarantee of a relationship. Might actually be detrimental to the goal of getting into a relationship, sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:21 AM
2

That's tough, mate. What does the person not doing the dishes care how they get done, if they're clean, dry, and not damaged at the end? No wonder she's an ex!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:16 AM
10

If you prefer to work with people, HR is the way to go -- and many smaller businesses outsource their HR to remote firms because they can't afford a full-time, onsite professional.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 12:31 AM
1

That makes sense, yeah. I like to keep it 100/100: we both bring what we have, all of it, and we don't keep score. Do I like it when a man takes charge? Well, it certainly relieves me of decision fatigue. But I'm happy to participate in a mutual decision-making process, too. In a past relationship, I ended up keeping score because I was bringing 100 and he was bringing the pittance his wife allowed him to bring (see also "why I will never be OK with so-called ethical non-monogamy in my relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 12:05 AM
1

Actually, you're approaching the same idea as OP, just with the idea that the one doing all the work should be the other gender. You're happy to do it as the woman, with a slightly more egalitarian tilt in that you'll let him clean; OP thinks the man should do what you're doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 11:38 PM
4

There's that assuming malice over lack of fucks to give thing. I hate that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 11:35 PM
2

Yes, proportion is important. I question the state of the mind of a woman who compares her single-handed grope to the partner who thought it was okay to sit on me when I was too drugged to consent and use me for his sexual gratification. I honestly wondering what's going through her mind, that a grope or a kiss is the worst thing that's happened to her and she has to scotch a man's entire life and reputation over it. Sometimes it's not disrespect or hostility, though. Sometimes it really is just…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 10:22 PM
2

It's what I learned at my mama's knee. And she never had a problem in her life, coming of age in the extremely lusty late 60s/early 70s.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:54 PM
1

Guy I know: "Hey, so I hate to let you down here, but I have to. I'm just not feeling it. It's okay if you need to vanish from my life for awhile, this is probably painful and embarrassing. I know it has been for me. Good luck, though, eh?" Guy I don't know: Pretend I didn't notice the advance, or give a "reason" why I'm not taking him up on it ("Oh, you want to see me when? Sorry, work is really busy and I need all the downtime I can get!")
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:36 PM
-3

Actual rape is punished less harshly. It's prosecuted less, harder to get a win in court -- but if he kisses you and he's famous enough, you can cry out on him and ruin his whole life.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:34 PM
0

You have got to be joking. That actually cheapens my experiences as a survivor.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:32 PM
0

Sure, but neither are you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:32 PM
1

OP said equal attractiveness. I'm sorry your friend turned out to be Chad, but this is not that scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:29 PM
1

Factor 1: is he going to age well? From where I sit, I can tell more or less whether the man standing in front of me is going to be a silver fox or Homer Simpson. Factor 2: Do I have preexisting feelings for one of these men? That's not to say that I can't be wooed out of said preexisting feelings, but the one that got there first and flipped my heart upside down might get the advantage if... Factor 3: Does he expect me to change my goals and priorities for him? Or does he take me as I am, becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:26 PM
1

Sorry to disappoint you, bro. also are you aware that the actor's name is Matt Damon or is there a joke I'm missing somewhere
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:15 PM
-3

Enough of what gets cried out on is just men showing interest in a physical way that I have to disagree. I don't want a man cancelled because he gave me too lingering a hug, or took the initiative and declared his interest by kissing me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:09 PM
4

I am happy with men showing the way, but we both have to bring our best adult selves into the relationship. Ceding too much to him could lead to the "oldest teenager in the room" problem - unless being fathered by your lover is a good time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:03 PM
-4

During the whole MeToo fuss around my state governor, not one claim against him was credibly sexual assault in my eyes. At best it was inappropriate advances, but really? Equating kissing a woman with sexual assault? A pat on the bum here and there? We are absolutely not ready for the adult world if we can't handle ourselves in those situations, if we need to cancel people over that. Makes us look hysterical.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 08:48 PM
4

For example, men don't care about house decoration or deep cleaning the house every week. TIL: I'm a man. Things are not harder for me because I'm a woman. Things are a tad harder because of the lingering effects of chronic illness, neurodiversity, and past trauma ("the body keeps the score" is a useful concept). But I did the responsible thing and got my female biology under tight control, so I'm good until menopause, when I and my GYN will work out what solutions need to happen. Modern medicin…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 08:44 PM
1

Do u think your mom married ur dad because he was the most striking sexy guy that swept her off her feet? Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 04:50 PM
4

You don't need to be turned on just looking at someone to be turned on. I'd wager looking at someone alone won't do it for a lot of us, in fact. Many women respond to physical touch more than the sight of, say, a naked man.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 04:48 PM
3

Again, this is just my experience: attractiveness is subjective. I've experienced physical attraction toward a variety of men, all different, and while I'd find it crass to put a number on them, none have been Insert PPD's Favorite Actor Here by a long shot. But I wasn't looking for that. I was looking for someone whose kisses and touches lit me up. And I found it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 04:47 PM
1

IS chemistry and attraction possible if there’s no physical attraction there? In my experience, no. I need to be physically attracted to a man to really feel like "damn, this is going to go somewhere". Something like chemistry and attraction can be felt, but it's not real, it'll vanish or turn into anxiety ("oh my God, he wants to TOUCH me? wait, I didn't sign up for that"). He's got to be physically attractive to me for me to throw caution to the wind and say "let's do this".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 04:45 PM
8

Can you really think of nothing else besides this one thing? Is that it out of all your capacity? You asked about biology. What women tend to bring is beyond the animal side of us, into the civilized, human realm. I can't help you with biology because men are usually built tougher, larger, taller, etc. and do not fall prey to the whims of a uterus once a month. Which, bully for you. But where would you be if we didn't offer you acceptance, interest, grace, nurturing, and love? If we weren't inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:55 AM
4

I'm not? That's funny, I find him fascinating as fuck and could lie in his arms for hours just exploring who he is, listening to his stories, enjoying the sound of his voice. We write ridiculously long emails for people who met in person on Saturday. If I haven't done as much, it's because I never met the man who did this much for me before and am trying to figure out how best to reciprocate (besides the obvious; we are both fairly slow-paced humans in that respect).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:50 AM
5

"men have to restrain their biological urges while women don't" (debatable). seriously, I've never been this tempted to run upstairs on a second date and find out what beard burn feels like on my thighs
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:47 AM
6

I'm really sorry some woman was so rude as to ask you what you bring to the table outside of PPD. In here, anything goes, but out there that question is really crass and unbecoming of a lady.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:45 AM
3

I'm defective. I was 19.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:38 AM
2

On a first date? Any mix of 1, 2, and 4. Looking for long-term. I think, as adults, we can come to a mutual understanding of exclusivity rather than him asking me to be his girlfriend, but yes, we kind of have to be something before we sleep together. Like, on the same page at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:30 AM
3

whistle nine years and counting :D
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 04:54 PM
3

What I am more asking is say if a sandwich or pasta can replace donuts. Ironically, in my life, both of those things have. Literally, I don't eat donuts anymore. Too sweet. I'd rather the sandwich or the pasta.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 03:52 PM
3

If I can't have the relationship I want, with a man I desire enough to have sex with, I am 100% fine with the life you described. I don't even need the sperm donor, as I don't want children.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 03:51 PM
1

At 20 I was aggressively trying to get the good man, he was in his early 30s and dating women in his own age range. Didn't want jack to do with me. And I was at least a 6/10.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 01:15 AM
4

Same! Coexisting very happily with men, in fact -- three came to my rescue in a big way last night (never leave anything behind at the courthouse, it is no longer open after 5 PM) and I was really and profoundly grateful to them for helping me not die of med withdrawal. There is no girlbossing at my job. We're cooperative in nature. We're all about equity and everyone bringing something to the table. Goes with what we do, though. I'm capable of being a woman in management, but it is a collaborat…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 10:33 PM
3

You couldn't be more wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 09:04 PM
2

re: the cash thing -- Gail Vaz-Oxlade puts struggling couples/families on cash diets, and her jars are the best thing since sliced bread. For the jars to work, receipts must be saved and spending noted down, but the method does turn people's lives around. Prioritizing is, however, an important part of a couple's finances. How important are your MIL's massages to her health? Can she only go once a week and maybe someone else in the family helps her work out the kinks the other two times? Does you…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 08:43 PM
1

I haven't checked on either of them, so for all I know they died of COVID. Especially the Olde Pharte.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 08:11 PM
1

That girl is about as vintage as the Big Dumb Hat skit.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:55 PM
2

Reeks of it. Phew, I need to open a damn window.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:19 PM
1

Attitudes are that are why average women have a hard time marrying even average men. bEcAuSe DiVoRcE rApE!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:17 PM
3

I'm pursuing my passion at a 9/5. Am I a unicorn?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:14 PM
1

Oh, California. [sigh] I'm sorry. You really couldn't pay me enough to move there.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 06:51 PM
1

I genuinely feel sorry for your wife's friend. I think not having kids when you dearly want them is as painful as being forced to have kids when you don't. Of course, I also feel for her husband: it must be awful to have that pressure coming from your spouse. People should be on the same page. The woman you dated shouldn't have felt pressured by society -- I believe that you didn't push her, you were just interested in kids. If the social pressures were off and people stopped screaming about bot…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:50 PM
–

Assimilation isn't a great goal, tbh. My mother lives in the US. Is she assimilated? No, and she's not only happy that way, she contributed in a meaningful manner to society her whole adult life. You don't need to do as the Romans do to make Rome a great place to live. If anything, I'd say a society loses something by the forced assimilation of its immigrants. Particularly US society. Believe me, white red-blooded Americans will be able to keep their hot dogs and baseball alive; it just won't be…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:43 PM
3

I was missing those same 5-7kg but doing boxing twice a day on top of diet etc. it came to a point where he came forward and was like ‘would you be open to considering Lipo?’ I said sure. He paid for it etc and after we both were happy. ...okay, that's girl game: you got a man to pay for lipo?!
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 06:39 PM
–

I can speak to the Turks: at least in our hometown, they seem to be integrating nicely into the local population. One of our major football stars over the last 30 years was Mesut Ozil. My aunt, who inherited the family tendency to panic over the slightest bump in the road, has heard no rumblings about Turks taking over Germany. If she ain't bovvered, I ain't bovvered. ;) Russians in Ukraine are mainly there as colonists, not actually immigrating for better economic opportunities. If you immigrat…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:28 PM
–

Boy, would some man have been laughing his ass off thinking he'd impregnated me until I showed him the hysterectomy scars. Sorry, man. No subsidy for YOU.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:21 PM
–

Immigration is right there
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:18 PM
7

I really do hope the girl bosses that are living it up right now with their smug misandrist superiority end up alone and regretting their choices you know that isn't, in fact, all of us? I knew kids weren't for me when I was a kid, not when confronted with some choice to become a girlboss (hahaha never) or... what, to spite men? That makes no sense. Are you trying to say you know childfree women who are childfree because they want to deny men a legacy? In any event, being CF hasn't been difficul…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:02 PM
4

I made similar choices. I knew I didn't want kids and don't particularly enjoy long spells of caring for them, so having them would've been an ego move, a, but also b, my genetics are terrible, and c, the pregnancy itself would've wrecked me. And all this was before I embraced the low, low wages of nonprofit life (which I would not trade for the corporate grind). Better never to bring kids into the world because it's the done thing. I make a great aunt, but a terrible mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 05:57 PM
4

Yeah, as a childfree woman, what she did was shitty and gaslighty and most of us are not going to do that to y'all. I have it up front and center in both my profiles that I not only don't want kids, I'm not big on stepkids under, like, high school age. And cannot have them anymore because I got snipped. And there are still men who have "Wants kids" and "Has kids at home" liking my ass. Why. If my next date goes as well as I hope it will, I'm deactivating anyway, so.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 05:50 PM
11

You can date these young women who are complaining that older men aren't fun enough to go on a bender with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 05:04 PM
1

Did you know that ukrainian men who refused to fight in the ongoing Ukraine-Russia war were scorned and ridiculed by ukrainian women? ;) Hey, considering the number of Ukrainian women tweeting from the front lines, they kind of have the right to point and laugh at the guys who fled.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 09:27 PM
2

I'm on my way to being happily taken, anyway. He's sweet to me, he can look after himself without relying on a sugar mama, and our tastes in everything are dead-on aligned. He's kind of a miracle.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 09:16 PM
–

Yup. My life needs its dose of chaos, and boy, does this place supply it. Just kick back, relax, and enjoy the decline.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 09:13 PM
1

There was no point. I wanted a relationship that might lead to marriage, and I knew I wasn't in a place to be that person for someone else. Why bother with casual sex that was only going to leave me loathing myself when I had two hands and an Internet connection?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 08:56 PM
1

TIL: 4'11" and 100 lbs is obesity :) this is the biggest I've been, by the way :) :)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 08:55 PM
1

why do you think I haven't had sex in nine years
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 07:26 PM
2

Disclaimer- She says that she would only target the top 30% of men and was picky. She was an older lady looking for a younger man. Well, there's her problem. She can get sex from Divorced, Single Dad Hank Hill all the damn time if she puts herself out there on OLD. Will it be good? Doubtful. Will she like herself in the morning? Doubtful. But sex is sex, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 07:25 PM
2

Yeah, if they're on their fifth anniversary and one of them has said "let's never marry but cohabitate instead" and the other one hasn't objected to that, they're probably in it for the long-haul
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:45 PM
4

South Korea is a lookist hellscape. Don't hold them up as any kind of positive example.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:22 PM
2

You make an excellent point. If the right person doesn't abandon his years-long relationship for me once he's had enough time to figure out that I'm the right one for him, obviously one of us is the wrong person for the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:17 PM
2

Very fair!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 12:10 PM
8

Your heart will go on. And does, and can.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 09:22 PM
2

Don't marry him without having serious feelings for him, first of all. The Wall... just read back through the last few weeks of posts about the Wall, you'll understand when I say it isn't as big a deal as you think. This guy is not your last chance. Note that I am not telling you to leave. I am saying you have a little time to make up your mind and keep vetting him. If no feelings become stronger... don't marry him and for God's sake don't have his baby. Don't tie yourselves together unless you …
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 09:13 PM
1

I am physically attractive and mildly autistic. I'm perfectly happy this way. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 05:03 PM
3

Oh, wonderful! :)
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 04:41 PM
40

I feel like you kind of buried the lede here. You're a dancer? With all of your clothes on or not? How does your boyfriend feel about that?
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 03:51 PM
3

I ditched a man who was giving Dad, not Daddy. No way do I want to be the pampered baby of the house!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 03:50 PM
2

I love Kimberly THE WADS Wadsworth for this. She makes cooking super accessible. :)
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 03:47 PM
2

It's basically the only prestige work that's radically underpaid, anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 06:04 PM
2

Choices that involve only yourself do not carry moral weight, certainly. Dating is a choice that involves two people. I have a duty to be what I appear, if I'm doing this in good faith and expect good faith in return. To me, there is a duty to be truthful and honest in intimacy, and I'll hold myself to that even when no-one else will. No, no-one is owed said intimacy, but if it is extended, let it not be lies.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 06:03 PM
1

I have no idea what my current paramour makes, other than that he can afford a house and a car, both of which are not new. On the other hand, it will always be very easy to find someone who makes more than I do, so I kind of have to care if I don't want us to starve together. Barring any drastic change in the finances of my org, or, um, my core values (which are "as long as he can support himself in a decent manner, I really don't give a heck how much he makes"), I'm probably not going to die al…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 05:56 PM
3

Earnings: less or equal, because I want to feel like a man Job status: better, because I want to be proud of her So you want someone who works at a nonprofit, basically.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 05:50 PM
3

Anyone over 5'9" is just "tall" from down here anyway [shrug]
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:04 PM
1

If I had it to do over again, I'd still go to community college, but I wouldn't have bothered with the traditional university environment first. The CC was just more diverse and a better overall education.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 01:28 PM
3

I couldn't use love as a transaction that way. If someone else wants to, I suppose they are allowed, but I would feel like an absolute prostitute.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 03:13 AM
1

At first, I dated men I liked and who were at least in school, so -- potential? Sure. But I also liked grad students better than undergrads because they were more grown and more masculine to me. Then I threw everything out the window and started actively looking for men who were older than myself, so I didn't have to guess whether they'd still be in town in two to three years' time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:59 AM
2

My ex and I met semi-organically. I was wondering if polyamory might be for me, so I showed up at a gathering and we hit it off because we had so much in common. I was between the end of my AAS and the start of my first adult job, but I had not lived in an undergrad bubble; at my community college, you met people of all ages and had classes together, and became friends with some of your professors, so established adults weren't this wild and weird concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:58 AM
5

I wonder how many of these older women were just too young to know what they themselves were doing, and are projecting it on the rest of womankind? I ask because I certainly was old enough in my twenties to know what I was doing, and if the relationship wasn't healthy, that was more to do with our mutual misunderstanding of consent. It would have happened with a boy my own age. He didn't manipulate me. Would I like women not to use men for money? Certainly, but that's because I believe using ano…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:51 AM
4

Can verify, I pulled out my measuring tape this afternoon just to make sure I had picked an appropriately tall man. I keep one in my purse for this reason and only this reason, nothing sensible like taking clothing measurements at thrift stores.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:47 AM
–

My point is that "take multiple birth control pills" actually does work. You didn't believe him, so you said he was too young to be here, but this has been received wisdom since the 1990s. He's not too young.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 11:48 PM
10

It's rather a classic PPD tactic. If your experiences deviate from the point the OP is trying to make, suddenly you're outside the target demographic and don't count.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 11:35 PM
–

You may also be a bit young to be here, then: pre-Plan B, the general wisdom was to take a number of birth control pills all at once.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 11:33 PM
4

I literally unmatched with someone because he sounded like he was mocking and condescending, so tell me again how I'm favoring toxic men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 03:01 PM
4

You must be talking about a very specific subset of women. Likely women who were "wine moms" back in the 2010s. That sort of woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 02:20 AM
1

You see youth as something to value. I do not. I see youth as something to be outgrown, and manhood as something to be grown into.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 02:17 AM
7

Ooh, no. Men are worlds more attractive at 35. 25 is barely starting to be a grown man.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 10:46 PM
28

Don't believe him. Don't ever believe him. He will escalate from hitting inanimate objects to hitting you. He'll be sweet to you at first -- this is the honeymoon period. But the same abuse will start again, and make no bones about it, it was abuse.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 07:07 PM
1

Your opinions bely self-loathing. That's going to make your username a self-fulfilling prophecy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:15 PM
1

Not if the difference in hours is small, like 35 and 40. If he's consistently doing a 50+ hours week and I am not, then I'll pick up some slack, but there's still got to be a reasonable split! And not according to earnings alone. I may end up exempt with a large workload but not a large salary; I don't want to be told that, despite my workload, because I'm the lower earner, I pull the "second shift".
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:10 PM
6

For allosexuals, it kind of is. I mean, you as a person may be fine with a dead bedroom, but I would not be even if I were the cause of it. I'd get around to missing what we had. And monogamy does rather imply that this is your only sex partner. Again, you as a person may be fine with non-monogamy; I am not that chill. Too many people in one relationship just make me antsy. Since for me, relationships do eventually involve a full and satisfying sex life, this guy isn't unreasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:06 PM
2

I did not accept my father having a mistress. I say this with love: you may need professional help. You sound like someone who's got a lot to work through before you can embrace life as a middle-aged woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:57 PM
6

Men are better looking, but women want them for money and power, not looks? And you're a woman? So, are you including yourself in this?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:55 PM
2

Florals for spring. Groundbreaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:52 PM
3

It's when he takes it out on women that it's unattractive. To be clear. If he's just periodically down on himself because he's not as tall as other guys, I'm happy to assure him I don't care about his height. (Literally cannot remember how tall the man I'm seeing this weekend is. He's unbothered, so he's probably over 5'7". That's the extent of it!) But if he's insecure and constantly making it my problem, not just in a "hey, can you give me a boost?" kind of way -- time for a therapist.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 01:39 PM
5

If I wanted to stay, and for me it is not an immediate deal-breaker, I would indeed sit down with him and try to talk about why he stepped out -- coming from a perspective of "Is there anything I can do?" and a desire to heal the rift. I would be gentle, especially if I knew I was part of the problem. But I would also express that if there is a problem, he and I need to face it without involving a third person who is neither a sex worker nor a therapist. (On the grounds that sex workers generall…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:36 PM
7

Thanks. I'm just trying to offer you hope: they're not all looking for hookups, especially after 40. You can filter by long-term dating/wants a relationship. And I do. You can swipe left or click the X to get them to go away if it's obvious they didn't read your profile. You lose nothing in doing this but 30 seconds. And you might gain some really awesome connections.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:47 AM
26

You've missed the entire point, though. You're still leaning very hard into the superficial. I read you as masking everything that makes you unique in the name of pleasing a hypothetical RP man, which is not actually the RPW goal. Who are you? What kind of human being do you want to be when you grow up? We don't submit to just any man. We submit to our Captains, once we've vetted them. Being agreeable is different. You're subsuming your entire self into his, and it's not going to sustain you. He…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:40 AM
8

As usual, Jenn is right, but particularly about the number of men our age out there who are interested in starting over after a first marriage. Today is Thursday. By this time Saturday, I will have had two dates in a week with men who do not have children at home, which is my major criterion regarding children. I'm childfree too, but I don't care if the kids are adults; the point is not to be Mommy. This is honestly a standard I had no problem relaxing once I figured out that grown children are …
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:28 AM
22

I don't know when you were introduced to RP for men, but apparently it was long enough ago that you've already spent $50,000 trying to push the Wall away. I'm 37. I say embrace the Wall. That doesn't mean blackpilling yourself. It does mean aging gracefully, understanding your value underneath visible signs of youth and fertility, and having a solid moral and ethical foundation to base your life around. If you've made mistakes: understand what the mistakes are. Do better next time. Maybe enter n…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:11 AM
3

I value status to some degree. I tend to gravitate either toward men in the human services, who can relate to what I do, or men who are interesting and well-rounded doing whatever it is they do and can clearly take care of themselves on their salary. The "lawyers and doctors" thing is only a joke in my house, but professors legit excite me. How does it relate to superstar jobs? I guess normal women know we aren't going to attract superstars -- we make jokes about Justin Trudeau being single soon…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:44 AM
–

Arguably, being sexless is not as dire a fate as being homeless and unemployed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:31 AM
1

I'll get more tail from them than you will from straight women :)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:09 PM
2

The percentage of men who care about women as more than holes to be fucked is greater than zero. They are the ones to be chased.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:05 PM
2

This is great. TYSM for the hookup; these sound really doable.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/23 10:26 PM
3

I mean, sure, if you want to get wrecked on a Friday night, maybe it's enough. Women with any self-respect, however...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:18 PM
2

Those men are not the target. Ew.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:04 PM
3

If Current Interest works out, I plan to love on his dog just as much as she'll let me. His dog is just as important to him as my cats are, and we already understand this about each other. You'll have to slip me some dog treat recipes because that could be an excellent "afternoon in" date! On a sober note: my ex's dog had to be put down about three years into our relationship. I came straight out to see him when he said he needed me there (we were semi-LDR, about 1.5 hrs). I packed my bags knowi…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/23 10:02 PM
2

So far this has not been my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:57 PM
4

What? No. Flat no. Ladies, we too can always better ourselves, so we need to get cracking. Just existing is NOT enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:51 PM
0

You can go from “eh” to “holy shit he’s hot” with very minimal effort (a little Google research, experimenting, and some extra cash). This is so true. A man who bothers to watch Queer Eye and act on the urge to glow up is, like, gold.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:46 PM
0

Well, I do. See comment in other post about wanting to smash enthusiastically. That doesn't happen if I'm not physically attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:46 PM
–

I have nothing to hide. I expect you think I do, but I don't. So honesty is no issue here.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 07:57 PM
1

it's also higher in communities where neurodivergence is more prominent All of the ND people I know are pretty damn empathetic. We feel things differently, that doesn't mean that we don't feel. Sometimes what we're feeling is so intense that it overwhelms us. So please, do go on with your stereotyping.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 07:56 PM
–

Unless you're 100% sure that you'll be down for it when he wants it, even if your circumstances change and there needs to be a time when you two abstain, just don't get married? Even though you don't have a crystal ball and for all you know it could be great the whole time?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 06:44 PM
–

"Have sex with me or I'll leave you" is an especially bounded choice when "I'll leave you" means "you'll be homeless with your children for an indeterminate period" and "you won't have a job because you've been out of the workforce for so long". This is reality for many women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 06:25 PM
1

You can blame the romances I grew up reading for the idea that a marriage has to be passionate! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 06:19 PM
1

people will get into relationships based on lust but then be surprised when it doesn’t work despite never considering the factors that make a relationship work. I'm a "porque no los dos?" person. I need the lust AND the factors that make the relationship work :D
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:33 PM
-1

Lord, this. At least read our profiles first. If yours say "Wants kids" or "Has kids at home", clearly you didn't pay attention to mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:31 PM
1

I don't think looks and spark are as trivial as you make them out to be. You have to want to smash. I'm sorry, but you do. Dead bedrooms happen when women choose men who can't give us the tinglies, and if he's too ugly for us to want to go to bed with him within a reasonable timeframe... welp. I don't want a dead bedroom any more than, I'm sure, my future partner does. So I vet for looks just like he vets for looks. Worth noting that Current Interest has no social media presence, and could in fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:29 PM
2

Wow. If you can't even bring yourself to make out with him for months, you need professional help. (Or her. I'd say the same to a guy refusing.)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:15 PM
–

It's a disgusting choice to have to make. A person who asks another person to choose like that on a regular basis is no better than a rapist.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:04 PM
3

When you say sex, do you mean all forms of intimacy that generate an orgasm, or stric'ly dickly? I was not cleared for penetration with anything for four months after my hysterectomy, but everything else was OK after something like three weeks. I mean, at three weeks I was still having intermittent bleeds, so there's a "yuck" factor, but it's not like my hands were broken. Just my vag.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:57 PM
2

Oh, I agree with you. I'm sorry for misreading you. I am active on OLD and arranging to meet someone this weekend - to him, I am driven, smart, and sexy and he's the kind of fun I need to unwind, so you see it's hopeful still. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:42 AM
5

"No disrespect," he says after an extremely disrespectful sentiment. You sound young.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 11:24 PM
6

Why not all three?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 09:42 PM
2

As someone with a sizable trans friend group: Vaginas are easier to create, but will never function quite right (can't self-lubricate) and need to be maintained using dilators.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 09:40 PM
2

It'll be nine years this October: since the last relationship I was in. I also did not want to be intimate with anyone, no matter how hard my ex tried to push me into it after the relationship ended. I had to heal. Getting under someone was not the way to get over him. My sexuality is responsive to the person I'm with, very reciprocal in nature -- I can be seduced, I want this very much, but I'm not going to seek out a partner solely for sex. I need love and trust, and I've only felt that for Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 09:38 PM
8

According to the sidebar, this isn't just for red pill men. Y'all who act like it is... idk
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 05:28 PM
7

So call it "red pill circlejerk".
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 05:17 PM
10

Men are generalizing women's experiences when plenty of women who have had similar experiences to each other are telling men their truths. So why do the experiences of women on here somehow matter less than men's experiences of women elsewhere? Why not listen to the women who are actually talking about our experiences?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 04:45 PM
12

Well, why are men talking as if this isn't a forum of women from across the western world with similar experiences, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 04:41 PM
7

not this woman. that's just rotten to do to the kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 12:41 AM
–

Your friend circle has interesting opinions on men. There are men you fuck forever. They're called husbands. If you don't choose one you can fuck forever, you will end up divorced. If he's not a 10 on your personal scale, what are you doing with him? Using him for resources? That's the worst way to get men to respect women, and you're really letting the side down.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 10:27 PM
–

I will add more to this, most women will see talking to a man for an extended period, swiping right on him or going on a date with him for an extended period as some sort of commitment in it of itself, so they won't even bother giving any man who won't fit their marry on the spot standards any chances. You're not wrong -- because they get attached. I am in the position of having to find a gentle letdown for a man who, though he is objectively brilliant and probably well-off, lied so thoroughly w…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 10:22 PM
12

Why even get married if you're planning on divorcing her for another woman? Or did you have kids with this hypothetical woman without marrying her? And if you did, good God, why?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 10:08 PM
0

Admittedly I'm at a loss over what to do with him once he proves to be a misogynist, if he proves to be a misogynist. If he's not, it's easy to say "Bro, this isn't a great look on you. What's making you feel that way?" Could I treat a misogynist the same way without him flinging verbal feces at me like some crazed ape?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 09:12 PM
2

goals
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 08:06 PM
2

Schrodinger's Misogynist: he's not a misogynist until you open the post history?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:57 PM
1

Have done both, the beauty standards are way easier to live up to.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:50 PM
5

Okay, yeah, that one's just his standards, and falls under "long-held belief, do not try to change my mind on this". If he doesn't want to date a sex worker, he shouldn't have to date a sex worker. Women need to calm the F down.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 07:27 PM
–

Some women will still act like they're so deep for giving her looksmatched bf a chance, and give warnings to her friends before showing a picture of him. That's horrible and they should feel bad. I'd be like "look at him, isn't he gorgeous?"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:22 PM
9

If he's asking me to abandon a major, long-held value of mine, I'm going to be firm in not doing that. I was vetting a guy and asked him why he described his political beliefs as "other". Hatred for immigrants started spewing out of his mouth and I shut that down fast. God repeatedly admonishes us to remember that we were once strangers in Egypt, and to welcome and shelter the alien among us. So no, "muh tax dollars!!1!" won't hold water with me. Obviously, I'm not going to continue speaking wit…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 07:20 PM
3

You haven't had the kind of found family I have. I adopted a little brother when we were in college, they have a rambling Victorian in the country -- he and his polycule would probably welcome me in a heartbeat if I wanted to retire there. And my best friend! She offered to marry me once so I could get out of the US! Her family is incredible, and if I'm really too lonely here, maybe someday I'll end up there. And if neither works out, intentional communities such as convents are a thing. There's…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:16 PM
1

I have to learn to get comfortable with acknowledging that I'm not attracted to someone physically and telling them. Probably not face-to-face. I can't handle the bad reactions. But I also cannot be thinking to myself "Jesus H., what is he trying to do to my mouth?"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:12 PM
5

I'm trying to break myself of thinking that anyone is too ran-through to be worthwhile. That's purity culture speaking, and purity culture is kind of evil. While I personally was never out there riding the carousel, and yeah, it'd be nice to meet someone who hasn't had a million ONS, if he had a hoe phase, how can I justify my lack of grace when I pray for forgiveness for my own sins?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:10 PM
5

Flair checks out
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:23 PM
14

Absolutely not! This is what friendships and roommates are for! You advertise for a fellow senior or three of whatever gender you're looking for, and pool your resources to stay afloat. If one of you is lucky enough to own a home, so much the better.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 03:00 PM
5

Is his pecker still healthy? Is he ready to settle down with a nice lass? Unlike many a man, I don't mind being the girl he picks after he's had Stacy and her seven gorgeous cousins.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 02:59 PM
1

I get anxious when I'm not attracted to a guy. I wonder "what will he do next?" and "oh God, what if I have to hurt his feelings?" Which is the last thing I want, but sometimes what we both need. It tends to show, and if I'm very long in the situation, I'll have a full-on panic attack. I haven't gone on a date with someone I'm attracted to in 8 years (turns out Mr. Last Night's pictures were between 2-5 years old) so we'll have to see about that one. But I can tell you I hope I'd be a little mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 02:30 PM
3

Ohhhh no. I'm nobody's equal in dating, I'm their complement. I know I'm the more emotional one and I'm quite upfront about it. I happen to like that about myself. I don't expect men to understand my mood swings. I do my best to explain that yes, I'm Having Emotions and this is how you can help me cope. Or you can hide until I'm done, that's valid, too. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 11:44 AM
2

Women who are OBs will catch on quickly and start providing sterilization procedures more readily to women who want to be sure they are never single mothers. Since motherhood would by default be single. "Idiocracy" won't just be a movie, because only the dumbest people would continue to bring children into such a world.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 07:53 PM
2

Nice day for a white wedding... :D But seriously: all the guests in some harmonious colour scheme and the nuptial pair in Their Colors -- that would be fabulous.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 07:12 PM
18

You're being generous, I would've said Gilead.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 06:40 PM
4

I think you did just the right thing! Hugs are the perfect way to tell if you want to be held by him on another date. Hugs also tend to leave me feeling protected and cherished. Best of all, they're a form of PDA that doesn't gross other people out/leave the recipient feeling self-conscious.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 06:36 PM
1

Well, what can anyone do about that but suck it up and not complain? It should come as no surprise to anyone that for women, the odds are good but the goods are odd.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 05:38 PM
1

Girls who are into that sort of thing tend to be infinitely better-adjusted than boys same.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 04:32 PM
2

allows you to intimately connect with another human, keep loneliness at bay Sex alone doesn't do that for me, though. Having sex with someone I don't also feel something for before the sex happened is just as lonely as if I were upstairs alone in my room with a toy. And honestly? The toy is probably better at orgasms.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 04:23 PM
2

And doing jolly well out of it, yes!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 03:22 PM
6

If it's eat shit or starve for a little while, most women will choose to starve.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 02:35 PM
6

absolute jackasses because that’s all I could get This seems relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 02:18 PM
2

A wonderful, kind, civic-minded man is giving me the rollercoaster of delight and lust and fascination. Like it's literally hard to concentrate today at work because I'm seeing him after. He's not a bad boy at all. He wouldn't beat a guy for looking at me. He knows how women deserve to be treated and we have an insane amount of interests in common. To me, this guy is Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 02:15 PM
5

You may want to try an actual matchmaker instead of trusting the algorithm, here. You won't get harassed by anyone, and the matchmaker will know what your intentions are regarding dating and be able to screen for that.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 12:22 PM
41

I'd also like to know what makes these particular "females" liberal. I do hate to break it to the world, but sexual willingness does not a liberal make.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 12:20 PM
5

I believe it depends on each couple's needs. I am probably never even going to become a stepmother, so I think it's right that I work to bring value to the relationship -- that way we just have more options to consider. It doesn't make me a worse First Mate to do this, and in fact he'll probably be happy I'm doing something I love with an unbridled passion. But I hear you saying that your unbridled passion happens to be homemaking, so I'd say mention it to your potential Captain. How does he fee…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 11:35 PM
1

Ohhh, okay! Thanks for clearing that up. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 11:29 PM
2

Oh, man. You're right about "there's money to be made". Hockey is the real red pill. For starters? Don't be afraid of the metaphorical frozen puck to the head. When you get out on the ice, trust your equipment and don't second-guess your instincts. When you're after the puck, focus, but stay alert to your surroundings because you could get checked hard if you're not ready to maneuver. And play! So many adults forget how to play! Hockey is the most fun you can have on two legs with a stick in you…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:47 PM
2

In that 90% of the time, how is his temper? When he's snapping at something that makes him angry, do you feel caught in the undertow? What makes you doubt your decisions? If you can't find the words for it in English, DM me in German, Mum and I will work through it together. (She's from Bavaria so some idioms may be different, but she's really smart about these things.)
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 10:44 PM
1

Hockey players are an entirely different breed. You kind of have to have a fuck-it attitude to play. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:31 PM
3

There is a whole world of women between "flat stomach" and "big chicks".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:30 PM
10

Every woman has her own range of what is normal and acceptable; for me, the red pill is not an excuse to direct anger at a woman over petty things. He may be masking frustration -- I know that's why my dad snaps at my mum -- but in my parents' marriage, when that happens, they come back together almost immediately (like, once the situation allows) and talk about it. This is different from when he would burst into anger at the slightest provocation and feel entirely justified in doing so, which w…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 09:50 PM
2

How does your ideal dating sphere compare to the one we have today? Unfavorably, but I've been reading romances that don't paint the way things were as any better. What country, time period, or fictional world can your ideal be compared to? If I had to choose, I'd say the inter-war period in the West. Should polygamy(multiple wives) be accepted? Should polygyny(multiple husbands) be accepted? Accepted, yes. But it must be both or neither. And it shouldn't be obligatory for everyone. Monogamy sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 04:10 PM
0

Happy for you! :) Part of why I'm "like that" is because it takes about double what I make to be financially secure in my area, and two people aren't tremendously more expensive than one, so I'd like someone who's able to provide his share. No more than that is necessary, though I suspect Mr. Tomorrow can provide more -- I swear it wasn't intentional!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:58 PM
2

You know what? You're right. I must have been subconsciously screening for men who make enough to support themselves and trusting that they made enough. Thank you for correcting me!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:56 PM
6

I just hope that a bunch of women don't think that blue gel nails are the key to getting a relationship ya know. Every woman's best foot forward will look different. I look ill as a blonde; men like me as a natural brunette. Red eyeshadow/liner would just be too extreme for my vibe, because I'm so natural and earth-toned. Think muted summer/autumn tones. My nails are white right now and I look filthy rich. :) In terms of behavior, the common thread is kindness and agreeable nature. I practiced h…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 02:50 PM
3

So, I don't need to marry in a church in white. If I get married, my ideal situation is the courthouse with a JOP. I will probably be wearing a white gown because I have one and it's objectively my best color, but it's not a "wedding gown" so much as it's a white formal that happens to look bridal with an updo. (Which I found out when people kept telling me so at the event I attended. Uh, whoops?) But if my hypothetical fiancé asks me to get a new gown just for him, in another color, I'll do it.…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:36 PM
5

Go you, quoting Godey's! The social historian in me wants to give this comment poor man's gold: 🥇
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:28 PM
3

Mama was Catholic but Dad was nominally Orthodox, so they skipped the church wedding entirely and got married at a registry office in Eppelheim instead. Not surprisingly, even though I would be doing it in the US, I would marry at the courthouse. :) Less fuss.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:25 PM
1

Frankly we’d all be better off if the apps were to suddenly disappear. They’ve commercialized the dating process and fully turned it ink a gamified concept. Although I said above that they work for me, I'd be willing to deal with this and find a local matchmaker instead. I live at the nexus of two very different subcultures -- rural and urban -- and unfortunately I get a lot of rural when I'm looking for urban. If OLD didn't exist, I would absolutely find a matchmaker who would be willing to sit…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:20 PM
8

There are an alarming number of men on OLD who don't spruce up for their profiles. And use decade-old photos as their default. I went on a date and he was not only older but fatter than his profile picture. Coincidentally, I white-knuckled it through that one because he was nice and I didn't want to hurt him, but he turned into one of those morning-noon-night texters and I'm like "STOP NO MORE OF THIS".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:14 PM
4

Dating apps are working fine for me. Yes, I've had to be selective. But I know how to put OLD in its proper place in my life, and not let it overwhelm me. I can't speak to your point about high-value men until I know what you mean by high-value men. Everyone defines high-value differently. I am one of those women who is willing to have flexible standards provided the non-negotiables are met (someone I could want to kiss, someone who's my kind of intelligence) and it's working out rather well. No…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:10 PM
9

Finally, be very careful when seeking male validation. This can get addictive. YES. Male validation is a bit of a trap when it's coming from everywhere. The opinion that should matter is the eventual Captain's. Indulge now and then when you are single, but I seem to remember OP is engaged?
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 02:02 PM
2

Oh, I love me a good coffee date. Women think I'm an idiot, but I know great places. I learned my lesson about intricate plans on a terrible first date years ago. I would rather he and I keep it simple until we have reason to go all out!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:33 PM
2

YES king! I meant to send this yesterday - your style is great and you should feel good.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:31 PM
3

Whither thou goest, I will go. Whither thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people will be my people, and thy God my God. Ruth to her former mother-in-law, Naomi, but some of the boldest, most romantic words in the Bible. Ruth is telling Naomi she's ready to be her ride-or-die.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 04:40 AM
3

The women is the entitled one in this situation, thinking she deserves to be taken out and treated well without giving up sex AND without ever mentioning she takes things slow. You probably aren't expecting this, but: yes. I agree. As a woman who needs to take things slow, a, I don't let him pay for me, and b, I make sure to let him know that I'm slow but I'm worth it in the end. I need time to feel safe becoming his fantasy. And I need the seduction of my mind and my body. If I didn't make all …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:37 AM
0

Lord, Korea's got issues. It takes the worst of Western stereotypes and the worst of Eastern stereotypes and marries them. And it's disastrous.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:34 AM
18

I agree with Jenn, and I'm going to add this: I'm a person who is very romantic herself, and will make a little magic for the man I'm with, but I don't do it because I expect something in return. That would be a covert contract. Those are not good news, darling one. When you bring the fairy tale into his life, accept that he is not you. Look for the amazing things he does do. For example: he got you a gold necklace! That's incredibly sweet! And obviously he was excited to give it to you, so of c…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 03:31 AM
2

Sure. How do you want to be treated? Will "like a reasonable human being" do?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:48 AM
1

[shrug] Hell, why not? What's your poison?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:30 AM
3

I have found that since I opened myself to a more respectful attitude toward men as a gender -- Alison Armstrong was a huge influence! -- I have had so many great experiences dealing with men. And men have treated me better in return.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:55 AM
1

I'm not aloof while I'm getting to know a person. I'm interested. Very much so. It's not a question of your guilt, it's a question of "do I want to bring you into my life?" It's not a game of Twenty Questions, it's just conversation. And it's not "playing hard to get", it's just being sensible about my boundaries. Men who push back on the idea of women having boundaries tend to not be worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:00 AM
1

Every man on this site who complains about height and facial structure is betraying an insecurity about himself. You couch it in terms of "reality", but it's not a reality I've seen among the actual, real-life people I know, so one of us must be hallucinating and I don't think it's me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:24 AM
5

The Christian suburbs of the American South are about as different from the small city in Germany that I was raised in as it's possible to be and still be considered "The West". "The West" as a concept needs to die, IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:02 AM
0

You can be as loud and proud as you want about your insecurities as long as you're getting professional help about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 11:50 PM
1

Just saying what would make an average man desirable to me. You don't have to be sour because I'm presenting an option for men to level up in the looks department. Just watch a midcentury period drama sometime, look at all the average men in their average clothes. Even the "sloppy" ones have something about them I can't define.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 09:31 PM
-3

You know? Fair. Fairer than "but muh facial structure! Muh HEIGHT!" You know what you have to work with and you work with it to the best of your ability. What do you wear?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 09:28 PM
2

Surprise? <3 Nah, for real, you're a guy who's been through hell, I'm not going to bust your balls for having changed what you do and don't tolerate in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 09:28 PM
1

I'm sorry, but it's not your height that's hurting your chances. Being blackpilled is unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 09:25 PM
6

I mean. If the average man took care of himself as well as vintage men did, sure, the average man would be incredibly sexy. Instead of sloppy jeans all the time, slacks or tweeds. Instead of oversized T-shirts, nice button-downs. Where men have choices to up their game, absolutely they should grab them. This is attainable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 08:11 PM
2

YES
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 07:41 PM
2

First of all, I love a statement lip. If you feel like your lips are not behaving, grab a lipliner and your lipstick and redefine the shape somewhat. When I've been wearing a full face of makeup, cold cream first, micellar water second, toner third. Then moisturize more than you think you need; you can always blot the excess down, but your skin will be craving replenishment. As for debuting a femme look -- you're at a natural transition point between childhood and womanhood. You can choose to de…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 07:39 PM
3

Guess which of my parents stepped out on the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 06:27 PM
1

Only in the sense that my dad was stationed in my mum's hometown!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 06:19 PM
4

"Big daddy government" gave me health insurance when I was too ill to work so I didn't die. I fail to see this as a bad thing. Never could justify seeking welfare. That's for the truly unfortunate among us, who would be unhoused otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 06:18 PM
5

Are you kidding me? I am 100 pounds of crazy when someone goes for my people, of any gender. I would turn anything I had to hand into a weapon.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 06:07 PM
1

No, no. No, you get to be very hurt over this. I can see why social media would be a major deal breaker for you. I truly am sorry that happened to you. You actually do deserve love and affection. Sometimes that's how healing begins.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:59 PM
5

I did not invite the Marines on the floor below ours up to my hotel room on my senior year band trip. Yes, that IS oddly specific.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:55 PM
2

Why are you asking them to delete their social media? Curious why having a fun little Insta on the side for the odd selfie and mostly cat pictures would be a deal breaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:43 PM
13

Forgive him and move on. He flirted. He didn't have sex with her. It's a tempest in a teacup. He ultimately chose you and is showing not sign of wanting to leave the marriage, yes?
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 05:40 PM
1

But if she pair-bonded with you and you were unaware her N was high, that would mean she could still pair-bond despite it, yes?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 02:04 PM
1

I'm going to care about being kind to a man if he's done nothing but express interest in me, as this hypothetical "ran-through" woman had the audacity to do. If what he's up to infringes on my comfort, I will tell him that, as I hope any man would tell me, and we would part ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:28 AM
1

That's a terrible way to approach other human beings. No wonder all these pills exist. We don't know how to be kind to each other. We don't understand the value of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:11 AM
2

There are two of us under 5' in my department of 4 women (and three, sometimes four of us in the office). The other two in the department are under 5'3". The next tallest is 5'4" and the sole outlier is somewhere around 5'7".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:10 AM
1

Men who try to "get" women on things are inherently unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:07 AM
0

Yeah, if he said outright "Your number matters to me" and they talked about it, I can see that not working out. I hope he can do it in a way that doesn't leave her feeling worthless as a human being.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:06 AM
1

If you came into this post already knowing the "right" answer, why did you ask the question?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:32 AM
1

"Taking time to talk before dating" is not "I don't like you very much", though. With me, it's "I've been very wrong before, so I'd like to get it right because I don't want either of us to get hurt."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:32 AM
0

Shit tests are a large part of why red-pilled men don't respect women. Why don't you just tell him that you'd like to take your time with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:30 AM
1

That's literally the opposite of why I reject a man. I would be horrified if he refused to take no for an answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:27 AM
2

I want the white pill, please. That sounds downright pleasant.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:10 AM
1

Wait, you're being serious? Okay: so the man I'm most interested in at the moment can give me the experience of a relationship with an intelligent, settled-down man who likes the things I do and is tremendously easy on the eyes. If things really work out well, I could end up stepmomming, which is something I seriously never thought I'd say until he and I got to know each other better. I'm ready to find time for a date with him, which is a Big Fucking Deal right now. He's 53. I've been looking fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:04 AM
1

you dropped this /s here you go :)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:01 AM
2

Why is her value less to you? What if you didn't know she was "ran through", pair-bonded with her, were married to her for twenty years, and one day found out oh! she'd had a little more sex than you thought before she had sex with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:57 AM
1

See, exactly this kind of thinking is why I've become a terrible person who thinks sex is something done to a woman by a man and that decreases her value. Because you men are up in arms about us having sex with anyone but specifically you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:56 AM
4

Hey. You there with the hilarious autocorrect. I'm sorry for your loss. May she live in blessed memory.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:38 AM
7

With the one man I said it to, I didn't know until we were a couple of months in. I didn't want him to simp for me; I didn't want him to think I was feeling any more than I was. But when you're willing to raise your N for him and promise him damn near anything he asks, you might be in love. When you're starting to think "Whither thou goest" thoughts, you might be in love. So when all this was happening, I said it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 03:25 AM
1

You haven't known nearly enough six-foot socially maladjusted fans of nerdy things. I have, and I'd had my snootful for one lifetime by the time we were in our twenties and they were telling me, at 21, to lower my standards... to sweaty fat boys whose toilets were unforgivably dirty, who lived in hoards, who wanted me to bear ten redheaded babies (do I look like a goddamned Weasley to you?!). Things like that. Gamers who didn't know style from a hole in the wall, who hadn't bathed in, charitably…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 02:37 AM
1

Where do you get the idea that this is a thing, though?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 01:12 AM
5

In my family, it's exactly like that -- I guess it was the norm in my family's subculture, and we never quite stopped being clannish so-and-sos when separating off became popular. :) I expect I shall have to account for a man's family just as he accounts for mine. Fortunately on this side of the ocean it's just me and my parents, but if I had grown up over there, yeah, it would be the merging of two families, not just two people. And we would discuss what those responsibilities would look like s…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 12:44 AM
6

Agreed -- and deep cleaning and chores make for a wonderful distraction from a missing family member.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 12:38 AM
6

Bless you, you can still ask that :) Yes, it means "In real life".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 12:26 AM
0

Well, you're the same height as my dad, and he's tall enough to give great hugs and make me feel safe in a bad situation. The trick is to find the women who are under 5' tall. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 12:25 AM
2

45 years this year for my parents and they don't hold anything back. They know it's forever and they've fully accepted each other for the people they are.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 12:22 AM
1

With all due respect, 20K is expensive and frankly not worth it unless you're correcting a deformity in your breasts. I would also not speak to a man who attempted to lengthen his own legs because that's the stupidest surgery known to humankind. And two months of recovery is an awfully long time; I know because I had a surgery that put me out of the workforce for nine weeks. Imagining a year thrown away on vanity... who would do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 11:06 PM
1

Five inch fecking heels? Unless they have platforms, we're in kink shoe territory...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 11:02 PM
1

There's nothing you can do about your height, but you can be a reasonably interesting person who knows how to style himself. I turned down a guy who was 5'2" because his only mode was "socially maladjusted fan of nerdy things", not because he was 5'2".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 11:01 PM
1

Bubba can have the Fupa Queen of Walmart.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 10:57 PM
7

And that was exactly what I experienced with my bro. I was glad he had spared himself the pain. I am not entitled to someone's presence if I am causing hurt.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 04:35 PM
11

Lived this scenario with a man I now consider my brother by another mother. He was into me, I was not into him. Instead of pushing me for what I couldn't give, he owned his feelings and we distanced ourselves until he was okay to reach out - and he now has the sweetest partner ever. He found himself. He's a happy, amazing bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 04:05 PM
20

I never do, because to me, RP doesn't mean having a picket-fence life. It means I lean a lot more into what my grandmother's generation did to win men over, with a dash of modernity that allows me to be appealing to modern men. At the same time, it's liberating to know that aspiring SAHM and such are not my natural enemies -- we're all just reaching for the same set of tools, looking for the man who's right for us.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/23 02:42 PM
2

I always read the profile. If he's only marginally more literate than a sixth-grader, we aren't a match. If he's trying to make himself look better by being into outdoorsy things and sports, we really aren't a match.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 02:39 PM
1

Read charitably, if the spark isn't there from the first date, you're not interested?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 11:17 PM
2

Hey, he looks like he knows how to have fun, at least
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:57 PM
2

Go to a rate-me sub and argue that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:56 PM
5

Counterpoint: when it comes to weight, what you consider the average man is actually subpar, and the ones who maintain healthy BMIs are the "average". When it comes to height, the market is open to the least bitter men under 5'7". Own your attributes. Self-loathing is a turn-off. Handsomeness is so subjective idek what to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:54 PM
3

I was already mentally and emotionally mature enough for an adult relationship at 22 -- and then I did it, and if not for his need for non-monogamy, probably would still be with him. I ended it because I was the more mature one... at 26 years younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:48 PM
1

But how do you convince someone to date you? Deeds, not words. Figure out what pushes her happy buttons and -- push them. Don't try to logic her into it, don't simp or assume you know what her happy buttons are. Get to know her and then show her, by your actions, that you took it on board.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:46 PM
1

At least the sex will be better with the older men. If you must ride the carousel, ride it with someone who knows where the clit and the G-spot are.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:45 PM
4

"Don't date older men because you don't deserve to be in a forever relationship until you are emotionally run-through and financially ruined." Am I hearing you correctly?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:44 PM
20

Get off YouTube. Get off TikTok. Read this. Breathe in. Breathe out. You'll be OK.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/23 04:33 PM
2

lmao my mother had to be the bookkeeper in my house because my father spent himself into debt constantly so fucking funny omg
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 01:09 PM
4

Um, love? Also, men who are not trad exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 12:31 AM
5

Exactly. We can cope. Clearly very many of them cannot.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 10:15 PM
3

Any woman born in the Age of AIDS who doesn't think about STIs deserves what she gets, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 10:15 PM
2

Still true, though. All you high value men out here are talking about how you'd go hog wild if you could, and here's me thinking "how many types of gonorrhea have you had?"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 10:14 PM
1

The way you phrased it points up the difference in mindset and circumstance. Women are choosing more to be single rather than deal with the bad options; men on PPD at least view the same thing as loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 08:14 PM
5

Women can get a dickful of STD from "higher value men". If you value your vagina, you'll go for the guy who isn't fucking someone new every time he gets bored.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 07:54 PM
6

This is unironically my biggest dating problem: when?!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 07:52 PM
3

Hey, if a man's still living with his parents in this economy, I can't blame him. As long as there's room for all of us in the house, why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 10:29 PM
3

Just try treating all men you're trying to date the same. I happen to think it means treating them all as -- well, not kings, they're not married to me yet, but certainly as excellent human beings. Until they show me they deserve to go in another category by ignoring my boundaries. (So many men who don't bother to read the part of my profile that says I don't want to be Mommy.)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 10:23 PM
–

Oh. So you're sour because (some!) women care about height, hair, and resources. I care about whether you're a city guy like I'm a city girl, if we can be happy without babies (I'd foster a teenager), and yes, if he can support himself. HIMSELF. Because together that means we can afford a place in said city. If he can't think on my level, he'll be just as inclined to walk as I will, trust me, he'll be saying all that about dodged bullets, too. I can join a group of nuns when I'm old and be surro…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 08:47 PM
–

Look, I've known since I was nine that I never wanted to be a mom, what the fuck do you think I'm going to do, change my mind for the right man? No. Like I had to tell so many asshole doctors before meeting you, the right man doesn't want kids, or else they're grown and gone. I can be Grandma but fuck being Mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 08:29 PM
1

It would have been quite the charitable judgment if you had been, though. Most people are like "OMG, they're TERRIBLE, how DARE they want to be thought of well by MENNNNN"
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:30 PM
–

Since I pointedly do not want a man who looks at me and sees my uterus, I did myself a favor. Two favors, actually: I had the damned thing removed in January, finally. I don't want an educated man in his thirties. The low end for me is 40, the high end is 55. Gen X is underrated. I also don't want a man who thinks I'm obsolete now I'm past 32. Or would only want casual from me because, what, he's too wounded to heal up, start over, and love someone else?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:28 PM
2

Hey, at least I'm honest about wanting male validation
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:14 PM
–

Okay, I'll go put it on both of my dating profiles to appease your bitterness. Lord have mercy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:12 PM
1

If you're not doing anything with your education, why did you get it? At least show us you came out of undergrad able to form a coherent, original thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:08 PM
–

Seriously. I'll gladly leave the tall drinks of water for the taller ladies. Just spare me someone intelligent and not bitter about being shorter.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:05 PM
–

101 pounds. Your move.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:03 PM
–

I'm not single because of height preferences, I'm single because I took nine years off dating. You know what I'm finding I have to filter for? Not height, but "did he bother to go to college and what does he DO with his mind for God's sake".
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:02 PM
–

Ah, but what if she did her degree online? :)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:40 PM
–

There are so many levels of stupid happening there. Oh, my days.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:39 PM
1

If I know my absolute nos, and he wants to experience one of them once, so badly that it becomes a fixation with him? Are you saying you'd let a man violate your hard nos re: sex acts just to keep him?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 09:46 PM
1

If I could do so safely and legally, and if he were right for me in every other way? Why not? Who's to say what I wouldn't do?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 08:43 PM
2

You go, bro. :) I'm glad you got both your chances. You and the Colombian woman were both plenty old enough to know what you wanted. I see a lot of PPD women putting specifically "girls" of 18-22 in a category where we couldn't possibly want this for ourselves, and I think denying us our agency in choosing a relationship is wrong. If we like older men, we like older men. Or liked, in my case. Though tbh I'm considering between 45-55 right now, and according to OP that's still a gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 01:56 PM
3

Now that would truly be hypocritical of me, since I was 22 when I met my 48-year-old SO. And I did the pursuing. :D
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 01:52 PM
1

I ended my age gap relationship, yes. He was sexually abusive, yes. Though I will say it's more of an impact over intent situation there. But the thing we could never have fixed was his polyamory. Everything else we could have worked through, including the sexual issues, and I was willing because I loved him. Given time and opportunity, we could have gone to couples counseling and worked out what was wrong. We didn't have that because he insisted on polyamory, and I was a distant secondary. We r…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 01:48 PM
2

Add me to the chorus of women saying he sounds divine.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 12:15 PM
1

No, that's gross. But I don't have to agree with every part of a post.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 09:46 PM
3

Okay. That makes sense. How does a woman square her desire to express that she wants him for a lifemate in all respects -- sexual, familial, legal, etc. -- with his way of feeling it? My guess is that she backs up her words with her actions, given the common quoting of "acta, non verba". Which curiously has a parallel among the suffragettes in "deeds, not words".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 09:38 PM
4

I simultaneously see sex as a mutual gift and believe that neither should be giving something they seriously do not want to give. Of course, when done right, what's being given is orgasms -- the focus is on each other's pleasure, not as much one's own!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 09:36 PM
1

I'm currently grieving a one-that-never-was pretty hard, because I was stupid and fell in love with him knowing he had a partner. He made himself damned irresistible just by having ethics and sharing my values. We were also thrown together by virtue of being colleagues in a field that's known for forcing intimacy on people because we're all each other can rely on as an outlet for all the emotions this work brings up. It was both inevitable and completely a disaster, and I hope to God I can stop …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 09:09 PM
3

This is why I don't want to be with what people normally think of as a HVM. I expect he's grifted his way to the top. And women aren't innocent of this behavior, either. Druther be with a man who makes enough to support himself and doesn't waste it who has integrity. If that means I'm chasing low-value men, well, good for me, I should at least be able to have the pick of the litter.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 09:04 PM
4

idk, I'm reading MarBitt as saying that sex was a gift given freely by his past lovers, not in any transactional way. I mean, they were getting something out of it, but that something could simply have been the experience of sex with him -- surely there's nothing there that isn't mutually beneficial, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 09:00 PM
11

You said what I meant a lot better than I said it. Thank you for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:50 PM
10

If inexperienced men really and truly expect me to be their personal fantasy bank, I will pay a sex worker to do the things I'm not willing to do. If he runs off with her because she's more adventurous, then it wasn't meant to be, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:48 PM
2

45-60K would be pretty sweet. Not quite as broke as me (only on 36K until I hit the five-year mark), not so high as to be unrealistic in my city.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:45 PM
8

That's a solid 6 to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:43 PM
5

Do you feel so great hearing how a man really loves his relatively chaste, faithful wife? Consider that Odysseus and Penelope are one of the greatest love stories in human history...
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:41 PM
9

That tracks, actually. Thanks for the heads-up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:39 PM
9

Yup. Always been dating for that. Except for my first boyfriend at 15 and that lasted a matter of weeks. We held hands and kissed briefly. I broke up with him because I knew he would never be a solid husband, actually, so maybe I've been dating for it literally since I started dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:37 PM
2

When I'm looking for a husband, I want someone who's both seductive and commitment-minded. Sex is important to a relationship if it will last for the rest of our lives. If you don't evoke raw desire in me, how can we hope to make a marriage work?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:35 PM
2

I'm a genetic dead end. If I raised a son somehow, I doubt as though I'd mind whether he reproduced. If he's a misogynist, I want to know why, and how to help him cope. Negativity towards an entire group of people surely doesn't come from nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 06:56 PM
3

Terminally online on PPD "Awww. Just like his mama." Look, as long as he's any of those things and not hating on anyone because of it, we're chill. Can he keep up a normal life? If the answer's yes, why would I need to do anything?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 06:10 PM
3

That's just not the sort of person who seems like they'd have anything else in common with me. If by some miracle they did, we'd also be financially very strapped, and I don't think that's a recipe for a healthy pairing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 06:07 PM
3

This is the definition of blue-collar I'd date. Plenty of those in my family, no shame in being a skilled tradesman.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 06:05 PM
1

I had unresolved mental health issues -- all better now -- and a chronic illness that prevented me from working through much of my adult life. I did use the time to get an education that would allow me to work in a field I loved, but I'm only recently (last two years) gainfully employed. Oddly enough, I do think I look better than I did in my twenties. There's a little curve to me instead of being a starved little thing who was intent on maintaining a sub-anorexic BMI. I know how to make the mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 05:45 PM
4

I never knew a woman who liked Eat, Pray, Love. We tended to think the author was self-involved and being foolish.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 03:43 PM
2

I'm quite happy like that, actually. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 03:13 PM
3

The West has largely got rid of its theocracies; the Middle East has largely not.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 03:00 PM
1

Eh, at least with proper abortion there's no child put on this earth to support. Of course, I don't think a child ought to be born if both parents don't actively want it. Feeds into why I think it's tremendously selfish of women not to abort when men don't want the child. Saying "Screw you, you're going to be a dad anyway" disadvantages everyone but her.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:56 PM
1

Thank you for this. I'll keep it in mind. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:44 PM
1

We have such good places for long, romantic walks where I live. It's the least expensive date going, especially if you bring a Thermos of something lovely to share.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:39 PM
3

Jasmyne is a YouTuber. :) Helen Andelin wrote the original Fascinating Womanhood.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/23 02:26 PM
1

I wasn't worth it for a good man before now. I would rather accept that I'm a little past my use-by and go for someone else who's on a second or third chance -- maybe that nice guy who can't afford to be a passport bro is looking for a woman like me. Maybe that divorced empty nester is ready to give love a try again. It would be entitled of me to think I deserved a rich, never-married man. And I'm definitely not looking at men in their 30s. 40 is probably the youngest I'd be willing to go, and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:24 PM
3

It can't be that traditional if you're out on your own with a startup that is evidently netting you the kind of money and connections that put you in a high-powered man's path. Enjoy the life, but don't for one second mistake your happiness for mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 03:10 AM
4

I will say this: OP has been crowing about her engagement to the kind of man that FDS girls chase. I am very much not an FDS girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:59 AM
3

I would love to know where a good, long, luxurious coffee date is considered especially low-effort, but an evening of kicking back and letting good music wash over you is a big deal. How did you lose the magic, dear one?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:56 AM
4

I said he wasn't for me. I don't owe you the litany of reasons I hate fine dining. I gave you the ones that don't make me more vulnerable than I'm comfortable being. OP and I are obviously very different women. Grace and tact dictate that I stop there.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:50 AM
6

Where I come from, classical cultural experiences are just... normal, the way cathedrals and palace tours are; you can trip over a string quartet performance you didn't even know was being advertised in the garden of some manor house. Americans think coffee dates mean a quick and dirty cup of joe and then it's back home/to work. You haven't mastered the art of enjoying a café. Or running one, in many cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:42 AM
2

For some girls, hot ones included, there's never enough of that going around.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:38 AM
4

The experience itself just isn't for me, and frankly I've seen too much Gordon Ramsay to trust a kitchen I haven't personally inspected. You do you, but please don't denigrate me for knowing what I like. You judged me on your standard of what a coffee date is, and elsewhere on this post you revealed that it's radically different from mine. I know how to enjoy myself doing the things I love, and I'm looking for someone to enjoy those things with me. So it's nonstandard? Honestly, why do you care?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:37 AM
2

foodie call unironically the coolest slang term I've learned since I Googled "cake by the ocean"
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:31 AM
4

...oh, you've never had a good coffee date at a great little place with atmosphere. That's why you came down on me for liking coffee dates. Mine have been luxurious affairs with hot drinks and sweet treats and sharing the window seat while we cuddle up and learn each other's souls.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:28 AM
26

Only through his porn and Seeking preferences am I realizing he specifically seeks much younger women. And yeah, despite being 20 years younger than him I’ve apparently aged out. [sigh] That's unfortunate. I was so hoping someone had managed to do well for herself out of nothing. OP has glossed over a whole lot of unpleasantness here. No wonder she's looking for RP help.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/23 02:26 AM
4

Gosh, whose doesn't? :) Happy weekend. Be good to yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:21 AM
16

A woman who prefers home cooking together to some chef's idea of delicious, that's who. A woman who still dresses to go see the orchestra/opera/ballet. A woman who wants a man that's not going to throw away perfectly good money on a hit-or-miss experience -- a grounded man, a man who would rather spend it on the things that make us happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:21 AM
21

Hey, no, hold on, stop hurting yourself with things you read on the Internet. You did something right. You must have, if you scored a millionaire's commitment. He could've had a ton of other women, but he chose you. So trust your Captain's judgment. He saw something in you that could be better than where you were at that moment. Reality looks like this: the past is past. Wherever you're starting from, you can come back and be an even better wife than the woman your husband loves. The goal is not…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/23 02:16 AM
6

We just don't want to be giving commitment level investment for women who are giving FDS level engagement. You are pretty consistently spot on, but I wanted to highlight this.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:09 AM
36

I like cafés. I like walks in the park. I hate fine dining. And your fiancé doesn't sound like the kind of man I'm looking for. So... no thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:07 AM
3

You would have to be lacking a little in the brains department to go on one of these shows and not be morally above reproach. Or go at all. You might even have to be desperate for male validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 01:48 AM
3

I have to think about that. On the one hand, a man who will reward a slut with a relationship must be relationship-minded in some respect, plus he must have something of a Christlike nature since he can forgive her past. That's beautiful to me. On the other hand, does he have standards and values that align with mine? Is he so open-minded that his brain's fallen out? Worth figuring out. Thank you for posing me a really interesting question. I appreciate you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 12:50 AM
2

Girls, the sluts don't pose any meaningful competition to you, since you're looking for relationship-minded guys. As long as there are men dumb enough to reward sluts with relationships, they pose meaningful competition.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 12:40 AM
2

If they're so high-value, how come Fresh and Whatever invite them on their shows only to tear them down mercilessly?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 12:37 AM
1

I won't say you're never going to get your wish, but I will say you won't be alive to see it happen, even if you're all of 14 years old (in which case, get off Reddit, save yourself).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 12:33 AM
1

That would be a distinct pleasure! Goodness knows I've made friends who were pretty far-flung, and now one of them will be here in five days. I couldn't be happier.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/23 10:06 PM
3

You and I have very similar life stories, except for me it was undiagnosed Lyme, I graduated therapy this year, and my A-cups are still sitting pretty. ;)
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/23 09:39 PM
1

So, I have to ask, since this was one of my main reasons for opting out of children: why have children if you don't actually like caring for them? Surely you and your spouse knew a little of what it would be like before you made the choice to bring a whole new human being into the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 09:32 PM
1

I'd rather go straight to the source for my ingredients than get them marked up as imports at the US grocery. Since this supports a small independently-owned business, all the better.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 09:25 PM
2

It's the usual argument against marriage here.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 09:23 PM
1

Good luck with that. South Korea isn't all sunshine and lollipops; it's one of the most image-obsessed countries going. I have a 28.5" waist and I'm fat in Korea.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 09:18 PM
2

Us bros just trying to help guide women better, thats all. Let me give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you about guiding women better. What would you tell a woman like me: good weight for height, pretty enough face, willing to be First Mate to my man's Captain?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 09:16 PM
6

In Ukraine they'd actually have to fight to defend their country. I hear many men objecting even to being drafted in this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 09:08 PM
5

Hmart or an asian grocery store is a much better option if we are talking about the USA I never thought a passport bro would speak well of any of my habits but... I agree, and I love the fact that I only live about 25 minutes from a cluster of Asian grocery shops (SE and Desi both).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 09:07 PM
4

Finding a woman who is in-shape, not a raging feminist, low body count, no masculine tendencies, can cook and clean, and cooperative is literally searching for a needle in haystack in the US. That's never all they're looking for in a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 09:05 PM
2

I think there might've been, once? And I'd offer to mod a Discord if someone felt like reviving it.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/23 08:58 PM
3

That's everyone's individual call to make. They call WGTOW hags and cat ladies, and I am trying not to dish out what my gender usually gets. It will, however, be very hard to be civil to anyone whose next argument is "divorce rape!" A, comparing divorce to rape is... a lot for a survivor to process. B, there are ways for smart men to mitigate that and the right woman will cooperate.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 08:55 PM
0

Then describe them better. Why are they walking away?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 08:18 PM
2

Better for him that he never knows. Once he does, he's on the hook for child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 08:17 PM
2

Weddings aren't marriages. You're confusing people opting out of the wedding-industrial complex for the actual demise of marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 08:16 PM
1

Not that wild. You said "women can have kids without men". I merely pointed out that the sperm has to come from somewhere, and if not a sperm bank, then by default it's got to be a living man. So how does he feel about having children floating around out there?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 07:00 PM
2

Women can have kids without men. Unless they go the sperm donor route, there's a man involved who may wish he had more say in the matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 06:54 PM
1

Is there a better face that women can start putting on marriage? In trying to understand why men hate marriage, I want to dive deeper; I want to know what I could do to make it a more attractive prospect with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 06:52 PM
2

I think when people choose how to dispose of themselves, the quality of those relationships would naturally improve. Break down old norms and suddenly the choices mean more. Women who choose to have children might also choose to stay at home with them and/or be more involved as mothers. Men who choose to father children instead of accidentally siring them on one-night stands might well enjoy fatherhood more than if it were foisted on them. Who's to say that marriages won't get better if they're …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 06:49 PM
2

What will be interesting in the future will be how advancements on sex tech i.e. sex robots and VR affect the dating demographics. People who would walk away from relationships because sex tech is easier are not the kind of men women are looking to marry. Nothing changes for marriage-minded women in this regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 06:42 PM
1

Well, exactly that. If they don't want to have wives, better they don't than delude anyone else into thinking that they do. It's a virtue; it's a radical sort of honesty with themselves and with the world. They know who they are and they won't compromise.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 06:38 PM
1

I think that MGTOW are probably doing single women a favor. If you dislike the prospect of being with a real woman -- not a fantasy, not someone half your age, a woman you can realistically attain -- then don't do it because you'd probably make a terrible partner anyway. There were always fewer men available for us to marry, the men who weren't available were just quieter about it. Now that they're self-selecting out, good for us and good for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 05:15 PM
8

That explains why this started when you got pregnant. How old were you when you met him, and how old when you got married?
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/23 05:13 PM
1

Now men are better at being OnlyFans thots than women? If you want to brag on that as a gender, sure. Trashy is still trashy though.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 05:09 PM
1

...so, NAWALT?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 05:08 PM
2

One or two a month?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 04:44 PM
4

Once again I'm here to break the curve: my first boyfriend, who never got beyond holding hands and closed-mouth kisses with me, in high school, was a bit of a prankster. I quickly realized he would end up a felon and knew I didn't want that, so... never again. From the age of 15-37 I have consistently been interested in passionate, smart men who have better morals than an alley cat, don't fuck around, are attractive to me (your mileage may vary), and want to be committed to me for life. It's imp…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 01:55 PM
1

As long as you remember that AWALT holds true as a general principle, sure. Don't go putting foreign women on a pedestal when they're just like any other women the world 'round.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 12:51 PM
12

If AWALT holds true -- indeed!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 12:59 AM
–

Take the "price above rubies" pill, ladies!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 11:18 PM
2

I wouldn't get upset if you said that to my face. I would, however, decide you weren't worth a second date. Which is everybody's right when they discover incompatibilities. I would get arrested for grievous bodily harm if you fucking pulled that "private relationship" shit on me after pretending you wanted more.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:45 PM
10

You've only fixed it if broseph was experiencing the life of an Eastern woman. In which case it's "being a woman sucks, so I'm going to go make life suck more for a particular subset of women because the subset of women I can access is too uppity."
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:40 PM
5

Ah. See, maybe that explains why I never had a hoe phase -- I went into adulthood knowing that I wasn't going to have kids, so any marriage I made would be for fun and love. Age will get me in the end, but I think I would honestly regret being run through more than never experiencing The Carousel.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:31 PM
4

I found joy and fun in things that were not casual sex, so no hoe phase for me. I didn't have the easiest childhood, either, but I guess it didn't mess me up so badly I needed validation in the form of peen.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:28 PM
5

Once you get over the anger phase though, I find its entire philosophy is actually about de-pedestalizing women, and showing them for the humans they actually are. Subject to same wants for power, money, fame, love, as men. They just operate in a totally different way I fucking love this. Yes, truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 08:27 PM
1

How... am I setting myself up for more friction and hardship? By enjoying indie, vintage, and bespoke clothing? Or just by wanting to be married?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 07:52 PM
72

So... being a Western woman sucks, but Western women still suck?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 07:46 PM
1

I don't think we're disagreeing as much as we think we are -- I just don't value marrying someone for them to do my housework. That's not the kind of person I want to be with. [shrug]
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 07:44 PM
1

And I don't care for conspicuous consumption, so we'd be ill-suited, wouldn't we?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 07:42 PM
2

I might be, at that. But I'm oddly traditional in other ways -- maybe I'm just not of this time.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 07:41 PM
3

Hey, imagine both of us being able to outsource that work because we earn equal incomes and have more disposable income to spend on the things we care about. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 06:45 PM
2

Are you a woman? Because I, a woman, would find it harder to thrive in a relationship with someone I love if he perpetually refused to commit to me in the way that I need.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 06:42 PM
2

But if you think most basic Americans give a shit about, let alone are able and willing to buy luxury, they sure as shit wouldn't be buying at David's Bridal, they would be flying into Paris/Milan and getting something nice there. Mmh, there's a mid-tier that goes indie/vintage/bespoke.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 06:40 PM
4

I must be male, then, because I want a prenup and the papers we sign at the courthouse, but I emphatically do not want a Big Day. Can't I just show up in my favorite dress, trade rings with him, and go back to work knowing we've just done something that is truly special to both of us? The courthouse is five minutes away by foot. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 06:39 PM
4

You sound bitter. I'm really grateful I got past that stage.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 05:44 PM
2

My Year As A Hot Twink by LostGirl
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 05:42 PM
1

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, buddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 05:39 PM
2

Do we get penises and prostates? Asking for [cough] science, yeah
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 05:37 PM
1

I want these too. OMG. Yes, make me at least as thirsty as the average man.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 05:34 PM
6

[waves arms] Look around PPD and all the people who hate who they can reasonably get with. Easier to blame others for your own shortcomings than pick up the baton and run with it towards success.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 05:29 PM
2

You'd be surprised at how empowering it can be to just stand up and reject the "feel-good" lies and the hugboxes. Lilith sounds like someone who's been empowered by it. I am, too. I don't think it makes me any better than you. It just means that her perspective here, especially with the autism and the soul-killing advanced learning programs ("How To Be Your Parents' Dancing Monkey 101") resonates with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 05:27 PM
1

[wicked grin] Let's just say my adolescence was filled with learning new and inventive ways to make two people very, very happy with each other in bed. It did bolster my confidence when I finally did go to bed with a lover.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 02:36 PM
9

Do you think all virgins are also sheltered? Please, by the time I lost it I had read and seen porn that would've made my non-virgin boyfriend go "people can DO that?" Neither lover had any cause to complain that I was too inexperienced -- but they were it for me, I was just creative with a wild imagination.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 12:43 AM
5

You're shoulding all over yourself. I can want my body to cooperate all I like, but it often did not even when I was fully ready otherwise. It was just too small or he was just too large. Probably a combination of both. It made sex intensely painful. It wasn't just a matter of anxiety. Claiming that diminishes the very real anguish of women whose bodies are, for whatever reason, prone to pain on penetration.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 12:41 AM
–

Okay, so that'll go on my wish list. :) Thanks for the rec.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:26 PM
–

I need more proof of that. I know that personality disorders can certainly be passed down, and I know that neurodiversity runs in my family. But I'm not convinced that personality is partly genetic. I'm still very much a nurture person when it comes to who we become.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:25 PM
0

Permit me to quote this very sub: "Dread game" explained
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:24 PM
15

You're not alone. There are good young men, I won't deny that, but when I was young, the best men all seemed to be so much older than I was -- starting in their early thirties. And all of them were squicked to high heaven at the thought of dating a woman nearly or precisely half their age! But I never was somehow.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/23 11:22 PM
0

you will not hesitate to break things off if they aren't going good. Dare I call this... a dash of dread game? :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 07:17 PM
1

Seems to me that high value, like any value on the market, is defined by the buyer, not the seller. This buyer has a different definition of high value from yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 06:49 PM
1

Four biological, two who adopted my dad. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 06:48 PM
1

Honestly, it's all in how he makes who he is work for him. I'm 4'11" so I don't think I need to worry too hard about meeting a taller guy. Like, if he's 5'5" I'll be happy. :) Financial stability is important because I can't support us both, but a lot of that is financial literacy and understanding how to function on what you make. As for hair and weight, look, if he still manages to make me want to smash, it doesn't matter. I'm not marrying someone I'm not into. That's just stupid. There are so…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 04:49 PM
28

Woman: Actually, life can be difficult for women too. You: SO YOU EXPECT EVERYTHING FOR FREE? OMFG get a skill but not until I've negged you for wanting to be seen as equal to a MAN
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 04:34 PM
3

What if you have a hobbie you really like but there are no men around when you practice it and when you talk about it to men, they feel bored and give an excuse to go alway? I feel seen. There are many good looking guys there! You get yourself well dressed and you even build the courage to talk to them but one by one they reject you. Some are rude others are just completely neutral to you. How does that feel? It feels like being 37. [shrug] I guess the difference between me and most of the men o…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 04:31 PM
3

...I don't want a wedding. I want to sign papers at a courthouse and go home.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 04:19 PM
2

It's about countless values that I personally hold and ultimately can't be coldly dissected in a cost/benefit analysis. If that's how you're approaching marriage, it isn't for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 02:47 PM
3

If I read you correctly, you're saying give it a few dates before cards on the table time. Show him you're agreeable, willing to hold up your end of the relationship, interesting, and interested. That's reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 02:29 PM
3

The thing is that I don't have to treat a friendship like that because my friends don't expect anything to happen, particularly. Friendships and relationships operate differently for me -- not saying this is prescriptive, this is descriptive. In a relationship context, I'm mindful that we have differing needs and goals out of what we want. It's an intentional connection. What does he need from me to be happy, and what do I need from him to be happy? So if we're both going to disappoint each othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 02:26 PM
1

How many denominations of Christianity do you think there are?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 01:46 PM
2

I'm hardly a romantic myself, so that tracks.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 01:29 PM
2

I have a friend, who at age 36, finally decided to start dating seriously and settle down with a man. She only had one relationship prior and that was the only guy she had ever slept with. But it still took her almost 5 years to find someone who was willing to marry her! And that guy is almost a decade older than her. So, that was about what I was expecting -- the consequence, if you will, of my inactions. And also in a way what I was hoping for: that if I finally got to this age, a gap of about…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:42 AM
3

Naturally duty, service, loyalty, and respect are part of my mindset. So naturally that I missed them out of my list. Those things are important to a relationship. But I remember that all of Ephesians exists, and while a wife may serve her husband, he is to cherish her and keep her safe. Marriage mimics Christ's relationship with us.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 10:32 AM
2

Old slang for "unfit for service". I really shouldn't attempt academic heavy lifting so close to bedtime. Argh, I feel stoopid. Thanks for clearing a lot of this up.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 10:23 AM
4

Without a prenup, I have more to lose than you think. Without a marriage, however, I lose the things that matter to me about marriage, and those things are important to me. I'm too tired to repeat them all. Please read my post history.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:59 AM
6

Many women of the 70's and 80's did everything. Many women of the 70s and 80s bought into second-wave feminism, which not only claimed that women could do it all, it exhorted them to do it all. It doesn't sound like they were doing it to show what good wives they would be. I haven't heard any but the most extreme men in the manosphere claim anything like what you're claiming -- and Christian fundamentalist men. For many men who want a wife and are not liberal feminists themselves, yes, a wife sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:57 AM
3

Okay, this is more fascinating than I thought it would be. Please correct me if I'm reading this wrong, but these are all studies of twins who were reared together, correct? Looking at how similar they might be, or how different, in their political experiences? I would like to see what happens when twins are reared separately. The example in my family -- my father and his half-brother -- is an example of a child being raised in a different household from his sibling. They didn't meet until my fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:51 AM
1

I freely admit I was being a lazy sod. I apologize for my bad manners. I'm less looking to stifle than utterly disinterested in looking it up for myself. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:34 AM
4

I bring half an income. I'm offering an agreeable nature, shelter where I shelter, unconditional love, some form of sex on the regular (even if PIV is hurting, I have nothing against a good BJ), not a wide range of recipes but a knack for learning quickly, tidiness, and a remarkably good body for a 37-year-old office worker. Not only would I sign a prenup, I know the lawyer I'd call on to make one up for us. I interned under her. If he preferred someone neither of us knew, I would of course go w…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:31 AM
3

So another user is skeptical of your argument. Well, the source is there, I'll check it out when I don't have better things to do. Because this is the Internet, not a life-or-death matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:22 AM
6

Whoever taught you "what wives do" must have been smoking the same crack they distributed among the Christian fundamentalists of the Reagan era. A lady generally keeps control of her emotions in public. With her close family and closest friends she can show more of herself, but a family reunion or a work event is not the place to break down. Women who choose their husbands intelligently work out ahead of time how to handle holidays. If she's not interested in making them happen the way he wants …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:18 AM
7

I'm afraid we'll have to agree to disagree, then. You may not find marriage necessary for these reasons, and I may find them necessary for exactly these reasons. Obviously we aren't compatible, and I'm saying that with a smile and a laugh.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:14 AM
5

A, I'm all for prenuptial agreements, and B, I would only personally divorce in cases of addiction, abuse, and perhaps adultery -- if he does it once, he can be forgiven and trust can be rebuilt. If it becomes a pattern, then I'm sorry, but I'm going to take my toys (not his!) and leave. Be a husband worth staying with and a woman who values marriage will not divorce you. A woman who doesn't value marriage? Divorce her first.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:12 AM
2

Source?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:10 AM
4

For some people, being willing to marry is proof. It means there's something between "I'm leaving" and being gone forever -- even if that something is lawyers. There's at least some incentive to try and work out your conflicts. Marriage removes the need to put paperwork on file with medical providers that yes, in fact, this person who is not my next of blood kin is my legal next of kin, and with all the hassle that entails, why not just get married?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 11:21 PM
13

Marriage isn't a transaction anymore. This is 2023. Marriage is for love, for a deeper commitment than being a Forever Boyfriend/Girlfriend offers, for the ability to say "Yes, this is my spouse" to people that matters to (i.e. me), and of course the legalities involved. Oh, and since I need a certain amount of security to do all the wild, hot, and downright kinky things I want to do in bed with another human, consider the possibilities there. :) I'm not getting that vulnerable for just any man.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 11:10 PM
2

Me too... and all six of mine are dead.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 11:04 PM
1

There is no level of attraction that could get me to overlook, holy mother of God, being a registered sex offender.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 11:03 PM
5

Being married implies a deeper commitment than being a lifetime boyfriend/girlfriend pair. It gets real when you put a ring on it. People take you two more seriously. Nobody throws you a "Moving In Together Forever!" party, they throw you an engagement party and then a wedding shower. It's also how you signify who you want to have the literal power of life or death over you, because you've just chosen the person legally designated to pull the plug.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 11:00 PM
7

It pretty much means you are an obedient person who always puts others before yourself and stays presentable in public and private All of this just tells me you've never met a lady before. Trust me, being agreeable to, specifically and only, your husband doesn't mean being a doormat. Neither does a sense of decorum. Most American women I've known behave like they were born in a barn, though, so maybe this is another incidence of cultural mismatch. My German family knows how to conduct themselves…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 10:53 PM
2

family members have genes that make them likely to share political positions you're an orphan, aren't you my dad and his half-brother couldn't have been more polar opposites politically; they just loved each other too much to care
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 10:48 PM
1

You're assuming it's impossible for a woman to accumulate substantial wealth as well, yet that's exactly what I expect to happen to me, marriage or no marriage. So I'm going to do what every pragmatic person does and insist on a prenup, for his protection and mine. If I get married, I don't want it to end, but if it has to end, let's at least only walk away with what we came in with plus whatever is rightfully ours. I don't deserve half of what he has just because I married him. That's stupid. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 10:45 PM
1

You would hope so, but the existence of my line of work proves that it is in fact not by a long shot.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 10:31 PM
1

Why not go all the way and advocate against divorce, if marriage is only for the sake of the children?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 10:11 PM
2

Yes! I want to be the one making decisions when my spouse is on a vent, not his mommy. [edit] Also, I just realized the only logical rebuttal to this man is for Western women to cease dating Western men in favour of Eastern ones. Which I ain't got a problem with. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 10:08 PM
8

If this person is against sex outside of marriage and against marriage, he's almost certainly setting himself up for a hard time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 10:07 PM
0

IKR? The highest-value man I know is about 5'9" (I was wearing heels and it dawned on me that he's not as tall as I thought), is about to be living on student loans and part-time work, and has compassion and kindness pouring out of him. And, yes, he is attractive to me, but he's overweight. But so what? He wears it well. What matters is having things in common, like worldviews and what constitutes a good time. What matters is being people to each other. And no matter how loud I try to shout this…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 10:06 PM
4

I still don't hear you being willing to date the single mothers this will inevitably create. It's almost like you don't care about anyone but yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 07:51 PM
3

Social legitimacy in the eyes of mainstream society and an affirmation of responsible behavior, which of course those in alternative social groups don't care about. Quoting /u/John_Oakman -- these are the intangibles that a lot of Redditors probably dismiss because, welp, alternative social group.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 07:19 PM
13

This right here is what most people miss when they ask why I, a childfree woman, want to be married. The social value is still tremendous.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 07:18 PM
10

If your conditions for marriage are "she has to be a prize", and you go on to define "a prize" as "a rare virgin one" or "one from a conservative country", stop driving our value down by insisting we fuck you before you commit to us. You don't get to turn your dates into prostitutes and then turn around and expect us to tolerate your disdain for making honest women out of us. I mean, sure, you get to, but that's why I haven't had sex in nine years, or ever outside the context of a relationship I…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 07:16 PM
5

So men who advocate for the abolition of marriage are willing to stay with the mother of their children, right? His word of honor on that will actually mean something? Or are you suggesting that abolishing marriage also abolishes the obligation to stay with a woman, therefore creating a subclass of undateable single mothers (this is an attitude I have heard from men)? Either way, what woman would be insane enough to agree with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 07:12 PM
6

It's not. I tried.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 07:08 PM
23

With all of y'all talking about how high-value men want harems, I thank God I don't agree with you on what a high-value man is or embodies. The way you describe them, they sound like exhausting human beings to deal with.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 07:07 PM
1

That's a fair cop. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 04:28 PM
2

Am I in the circlejerk sub? Is there a circlejerk sub?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 04:25 PM
3

overweight woman with brightly dyed hair who is full of shit, you forgot the important part
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 03:51 PM
2

I'm sure that's your prerogative, I just don't know which country that is anymore. Good luck finding it?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 03:50 PM
0

That's not a boundary, though, that's a standard she's setting for him that he didn't necessarily choose. So it is controlling behavior, but it's not boundary-setting; the equivalent boundary would be "I will not stay with you if you choose to flirt with other women". He is not compelled to change his behavior unless he wants to stay with her. It's his choice, not her imposition. What she's doing by telling him to cut contact is imposing her standard without giving him the choice to leave or not…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 03:47 PM
3

Yes, those are boundaries. Those are boundaries that people are allowed to set, and we are not all entitled to be around the people that have set those boundaries if we are not millionaires, monogamous, or not submissive.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 03:43 PM
5

The people who have tried to convince me that my personal boundaries were unfairly controlling them were trying to break me down to do what they wanted and control me. Universally I have found this. More people need to accept that they are not entitled to other people's time and energy, and if they find themselves on the wrong side of someone's boundary, trying to engage makes them look very bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 03:42 PM
2

That utter shitshow? Where they advocate for treating men like walking wallets? Most of them are still girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 09:36 PM
0

To me, "womanning up" means accepting that you are more or less the author of your story. Some things will happen to you that you cannot control, so you have to figure out how to handle them. Will you let life crush you, or will you stand up and try to find a way through? When you're faced with a decision, will you make it responsibly or will you fall back on being "just a girl, can't help myself for picking the bad option"? Women don't make excuses, they offer explanations -- and then they apol…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 09:34 PM
2

Which is my ideal anyway, so it all works out perfectly :) I always did like older men.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 07:13 PM
1

Absolutely the advice I would give a daughter of mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 06:32 PM
5

And forevermore why would we want it when there are perfectly good men our age? Let them have their fun and then settle down with women their own age who probably relate a lot better to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 06:30 PM
1

Women will be like "well, good for you, you kept the weight off, some of us aren't that lucky" And some of us made decisions that would result in less lifetime weight gain. Never had kids, chose to cut calories, when I wasn't working I made sure to exercise. [shrug] There's a lot of cope happening among women, what can I say?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 04:23 PM
0

In my experience, that's the blink of an eye!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 03:59 PM
0

Having sex =/= PIV.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 12:38 PM
26

Why would anyone want porn sex? The actresses are faking it so much of the time. Is that better than starfishing? Go for normal, everyday, both parties being interested sex. That's where it's at.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 12:07 AM
14

Your husband isn't interested in conditional love because Jesus wasn't interested in conditional love. Jesus had empathy and discouraged mere humans from judging one another. It's a stunning example to live up to, and so hard. But Christians are called to do hard things. So understand 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 -- Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wron…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/23 12:00 AM
1

Feeling safe and secure means knowing I'm the only one, though. Poly is not a concession for me, it's a dealbreaker. If I'm not enough in bed for you, then we're not suited. What are some submissive traits I could offer that would make up for needing to be the only woman in his bed?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 11:27 PM
1

Eh, a lot of corporate norms really do want women to set aside emotion and embrace only cold, hard logic. Visually, the dress codes are basically "male, but in a skirt and heels". This was seen as Progress by a lot of women: the ability to put on a suit and boss bitch it in a boardroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 11:07 PM
5

Many women like to call men who appreciate youthful energy pedophiles. Giant eyeroll from me because who wants to stop loving things that made them happy once? If you find a girl who loves plushies, rocks the kawaii aesthetic, and still has a fully-formed adult mind that functions on the same level as, or higher than, "adultier" women, be happy with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 11:04 PM
2

More power to him? [shrug] It's not my job to dictate who he's attracted to. He could be going for 18-year-old Stacy and I don't think I'd care. Each pot has a lid.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 11:01 PM
5

Everything. Bawwing about "consent to a relationship" implies there's some kind of bodily agency to be violated. A relationship is not an invasion of your body. A relationship is not the use of your body, unwilling, after you have said "no". OP raised consent to sex as on a parallel with consent to a relationship. That's complete and utter horse puckey and he should feel bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 10:49 PM
1

They probably shouldn't have promised you sex. That's an idiot move. If a woman revokes her consent after the bedroom door closes, she cops all kinds of bullshit for [checks notes] not wanting to be raped.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 10:46 PM
2

You can revoke consent to a relationship, but don't be surprised if your name is mud in her entire social circle and her friends' entire social circles. Outright comparing consent to sex to consent to a relationship cheapens what rape survivors go through and you should feel bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 09:34 PM
4

I wouldn't say France.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 08:49 PM
1

Then I guess I'm the exception, because six-packs really don't do it for me. More of a squick than a squee.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 08:47 PM
1

Good looking enough for me to actually want to get near him? Yes. But don't for one second think you know my standards, because going by the first comment you made to me, you haven't a clue. Not that you need to worry about my standards, random PPD man.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 08:13 PM
3

What I mean are young jetsetters with bikini bodies who like to show off and be shown off. To be quite honest, his physical type is not the first I would go for. I can see how some women would. But again, some are not all, and I rather think you should believe us when we say "No, actually, we'd rather not."
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 07:44 PM
1

Monogamy is not a mere relationship concession, and I know the damage it does to a person when they're forced to be poly. To my eternal shame, I helped a bad man drive his good wife to drink.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 07:37 PM
1

Definitely on the older part (younger is just... not quite done baking, for me). Part of why I honestly don't see myself as "finished" as a woman is that I'm finally old enough that dating me wouldn't be perceived as creepy for the men in the age range I tend to like -- 40s, early 50s. I like compassionate leadership. Kindness plus power. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 05:04 PM
1

God, no, just don't be repellent. I've noticed that the guys of PPD tend to have an inferiority complex and I'm sorry, but you're only shooting yourselves in the foot.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 05:02 PM
4

Definitely Likes Older Men with a side of Single Woman Seeks Good Man. I would be lying if I denied that Power Is Sexy is a bonus (see also fondness for Captain/First Mate dynamic).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 04:08 PM
5

Absolutely not! Men like him are bound to get sexual attention from women like him. But can you deny that men like him also would not be attractive to women with different priorities?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 03:33 PM
1

Yachts were never a draw to me because I get seasick in port, but if the car collection is interesting enough, I suppose it can stay. ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 03:33 PM
1

Okay, so there's this great crime drama called Professor T -- actually, there are two -- and both of the male leads are great men. And they're both autistic AF and I love them to bits. So if autistic men were like Professor T? Yes, give them to me please.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 03:28 PM
1

They can’t force a man to commit without making concessions but I assure you if women were willing to be a bit more pragmatic they could more or less give men a deal very difficult to refuse. Tell me more about this pragmatism. I am always interested in upping my own game. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 03:13 PM
2

If a woman's main concern is money, then it seems like the DINK route would be the best way to go instead of getting divorced. A two-income household with no kids gets you more money than you with one job and child support (i.e. only part of the man's income) and kids to have to spend money on (assuming you get custody too). Speak that truth, bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 03:11 PM
3

Okay! Thanks for clearing that up, I was really confused. So yeah, women are definitely no better than men. We're judgmental, we're shallow, and we have our distinct preferences. And we voice these things in spaces which are designed for it -- like PPD. This and my own living room are the only places I get to be less than body-positive. Everywhere else I go, people will say (because this is 2023) that I am a judgmental bitch and not everyone finds it as easy as I do to stay thin. Here, in a some…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 03:07 PM
1

2 rooms and a VW is my dream, you can sell the yacht and the rest of the cars and put it in savings :)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 02:59 PM
2

So if we say, "You aren't there yet but you will be, and I admire that and will love you long before you have made it", we're gold-diggers. If we say, "You're not there yet, call me when you've made it", we're gold-diggers. Show me the woman in this scenario who wants this man and is not a gold-digger.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 02:56 PM
1

A man who is actively working toward being able to do what he wants? Yeah, I'll be with him, I'll be in his corner, supporting us until he can contribute. He's probably putting in a lot of non-earning work to get where he wants to be, and it will pay off because he is driven to do this thing which is likely his passion. At my age, it helps if he is someone who has already shown his ability to do hard things and stick to them, not just move on to the next shiny.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 02:51 PM
1

Exactly this. Would gladly have done community service instead of going straight to college.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/23 02:35 PM
2

Older women are more risk adverse and need to find a “stable” guy. This was true of me at 15 for heck's sake. I was always looking for the stable guy. I had a moment, and I am not making this up, in the hallway of my high school where I was like "I want to be someone's wife." Maybe it's because I never felt I had options for what I wanted that I'm feeling the disconnect here. The attractive men (I'm talking circa 6-7/10, I knew to avoid Chad) wanted sex from me, not relationships. The men around…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 02:30 PM
10

just being lying virtue signalers doesn't measure up to your bias = lying virtue signaler got it, thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 02:22 PM
1

I suppose men do the same, but make no illusions that the women are any better. Shan't make any illusions that women are any better. When it comes to preferences, men and women alike have their hard nos. Why are you saying that we think we're better than you?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 02:22 PM
1

I can't do anything about being in my 30s, but you wouldn't catch me dead with pink hair or a sloppy T-shirt.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 02:19 PM
1

Don't be dense. I was referring to being old. 21 BMI here.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 01:42 PM
2

Now, how do you know I don't give men compliments? If I notice something distinctive about them, I tell them so all the time! There was a day laborer who had the nicest gold-rimmed glasses, for example. And the man I saw behind the copy desk at Staples -- I couldn't help but remark on his marvellous black and white hair.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 02:19 AM
2

Oh, I won't disagree with you there. Obviously a man who prioritizes being athletic is going to want an athletic partner. A more sedentary person isn't going to be interested in a person who prioritizes movement. (Me, I could go either way with the right person, but you couldn't pay me to outgrow my current wardrobe. No way, I'll do what I have to in order to stay this size. I'm really fucking happy as a size 6-8 US.)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 11:28 PM
-2

So you were, in fact, the one to introduce fat women into the dialogue. Got it. I'm not hallucinating. Don't date fat women if you don't want to, that's just stupid. If you're fit, hold out for a fit woman. If you're somewhere in between fit and fat, so are plenty of people. Simple-as.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 11:26 PM
2

Ouch, man. I'm sorry that happened to you. Pain is no joke, PT was actually one of the things that helped me through the recovery from Lyme. Mine focused on rebuilding strength and stamina, but it did help with the lasting joint pain. Do you have adequate meds for the pain? Or weed?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 11:24 PM
2

I say this with serious compassion: I really hope you never learn the meaning of "temporarily able-bodied" the way I had to learn it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:47 PM
-2

She was initially only talking about women who are 40. Where were you getting chubby from that? Or fat, for that matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:46 PM
-2

And if you are fat or old, basically something went wrong, and that says something about you. My God, you're right. Never should've let that tick bite me when I was in my early twenties and lose most of the last fifteen years to having fucking Lyme disease.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:40 PM
2

I really want to see them take some average guys buy them a new wardrobe and style there hair then see how much of a difference it makes. You just described the premise of the Queer Eye franchise. You should watch the show sometime, might be a revelation. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:39 PM
-3

I love how you responded to her comment with the assumption that she was asking you to date a fat woman. I didn't get that at all. Where were you getting it?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:37 PM
6

Seriously. I chose the chill job life, and while I would be living in a one-room flat if I didn't live with my family, there's no denying I'm suffering less from the effects of stress. I do what I love and I only do it for 35 hours a week. There are tradeoffs. That said, I do still keep my calories reasonable because what I love is sedentary, and I have zero desire to join a gym or take up a serious workout regimen. I find I don't actually need more than about 1200 calories a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:35 PM
0

but manicures and hair styling aren't going to impress women. Hey, speak for yourself. I for one am very impressed by a man who keeps clean, neat hands and well-styled hair.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:31 PM
2

Woman, agreeing with the sentiment that if you can't grow a good beard, don't try. If you can, give it a go and maybe it'll work for you, maybe it won't. But every man is so different that there's really no rule of thumb to be had.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:29 PM
1

Probably his best bet, yeah. Taking fitness that seriously has to be a both-people thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:15 PM
0

But it's disrespectful to me to just try and get me into bed. If I say to Chris, "I'm sorry, but I'm looking for love and trust in a relationship first", then what's he going to say without looking like an absolute jerk? His SMV doesn't mean a goddamn thing to me. It's his RMV that counts. If he would make a good husband and is serious about me as a partner, I'm sure we will have many happy years of screwing around together. Until he's assured me of that, well, I've learned that it's just not wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:14 PM
1

I do a lot of "yas queening" in real life. It just is not worth it to risk friendships over something that ultimately, nowadays, has to be learned for oneself. If you're smart, you figure it out before your count rises higher than the number of fingers on one hand. If you're average... you don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 10:09 PM
1

Okay. Autistic woman replying. :) Eh, I haven't noticed the problem on my end. Maybe it's the fact that I come from charming but somewhat odd humans on both sides of my family tree -- maybe it's that autism tends to look different in women than it does in men -- maybe it's a combination of the two? Any way you slice it, I am surprisingly good at being social considering [waves hands] everything. If anything I do helps, it's the fact that I own my weird. Growing up in the era of the manic pixie d…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 08:55 PM
1

Hey, you've just described me. :) Awkward can be cute, inept is another story altogether. At least be on my level and be able to poke fun at your awkward self!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 08:51 PM
2

Probably the best man I've ever known is my high school band director, who was like a second dad to all of us. Super sense of humor, super nurturing (his three daughters would attest to that), knows just what to do and say to make everyone feel special. We were all his ducklings. When my actual parents were scolding me for having a panic attack onstage and embarrassing myself, they told me that I had let him down, so on Monday I ended up going to him in tears because I thought I had absolutely m…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 08:27 PM
1

Why would she want you? There's nothing particularly alluring about a husband whose mistress is a barbell.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 08:11 PM
1

Define nerdy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 08:06 PM
1

I'd be fine with an average Joe, yeah. :) The one with the manky facial hair might look better clean-shaven, though!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 08:04 PM
-2

No. He has to respect me prior-to or it's nothing doing. There is no initial lay, there is no smash-and-pass. I'm actively looking for Steves, not Chrises or Chads.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 07:41 PM
5

if you don't hookup, you have EVERY right in the goddamn world to ask for a partner who doesn't do the same You're not a misogynist, you're sensible. Like should go with like in this case. If you're a fuckboy, take up with the promiscuous girls of the world. If you're not a fuckboy, exactly what about that kind of girl is attractive to you? She probably has a roster of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 07:05 PM
13

Who hath ears to hear, let her hear. Most of them have decided not to have ears to hear. It's all about what feels good now. Trying to reach them, as an older woman, will only get you yelled at and accused of sex-negativity and prudery. "STOP SHAMING ME" she cries as she steps onto the carousel. Then, when she's my age but far more miserable than I'll ever be -- "Why did you let me waste my youth?"
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 06:59 PM
2

wait 'til they find out there are gay and lesbian priests
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 06:57 PM
-1

Put it this, think if Chris Hemsworth suddenly appeared and asked if he could fuck her? She would reject him? ...yes? Because even Chris Hemsworth needs to respect me as more than a vagina?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 06:52 PM
4

It's a common manifestation of feminine traits, but it is not the only one. I am truly happy for any woman that it works for. That's all I'll say to the matter henceforth.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/23 03:10 AM
4

I see a man who's out of control and needs to get himself some discipline. I knew from a young age that trying to fix a man only gets you burned. So I ignored the bad boys and went for the ones who had their lives together. I've seen what the "I can heal him" fantasy gets you. It gets you a child out of wedlock with a man you pulled out of a halfway house, only for him to leave you before the child is ten years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 12:36 AM
14

See, that -- paying more AND doing more? That doesn't make sense to me. Especially if she's paying her own whole rent. Girl, what?
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/23 12:23 AM
5

RP is not tradcon. RP is a set of tools designed to help women attain their relationship goals -- usually commitment to the man that can give them what they need out of life. I'm hardly the only liberal around here, although I'm probably the only liberal childfree RPW in existence. (Please, if another such unicorn exists, pipe up!) For women who would be okay with homemaking and not parenting -- just homemaking -- I'm sure it's a fine life. It's simply not one I'd feel good about for myself, in …
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/23 12:21 AM
1

I've seen so many men complain about entitled women on this hellsite. They have seemed to think that this is not a masculine trait but a feminine expectation of men, and unfair in the same way that asking men to go to war is unfair. How does anyone build savings? I imagine a couple on one income budgets, just the same as any couple does. So much per month on the necessities, so much for fun, so much to savings. A housewife must be a good steward of his resources, and very smart about how she doe…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/23 10:26 PM
3

I'm guessing you're thinking more casual settings, like bars or clubs. Don't be the guy clowning it up, openly leering at women, hooting, or anything like that. Do be the one who pays her a quiet compliment on something non-sexual, like her dress or her shoes. You couldn't care less about her shoes, but at least you saw something other than her tits and arse. You could also try complimenting her smile, if she's got a winning one. Offer to buy her a drink, don't presume. Let her say "No, I've got…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 10:18 PM
2

You're quite kind, and I understand about the traditions being heavy and somewhat odd. I want to buck most of them, after all. Then again, in my family, bucking tradition is tradition. One set of grandparents, erm, never saw each other again after the conception. My parents were married in a registry office (Mama says that due to the paperwork, they nearly didn't!) and she certainly didn't wear white. She just bought herself a new dress for the occasion.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 09:43 PM
-6

That's fair. If he really and truly wants to buy his wife what she wants for funsies, it's his money, not mine. But I would feel insecure. I would be unsettled, relying on someone else's money. Kept. In a bad way.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/23 09:39 PM
2

I just want a band with some tastefully inset tiny white stones. This is the most extravagant I would ask for, and only because I love the finish on the gold. A wedding set (engagement + wedding bands) with that gold finish would make me the happiest bride in the world. Also, I don't want a "real wedding", I just want to go down to City Hall with our nearest and dearest, say nice words, sign papers, and go home. And be married. So that's a savings right there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 08:00 PM
2

With regards to the alone time/around him thing: can you compromise and be alone together? My ex and I would agree that we needed time to be in our own heads, so we'd sit on the bed and each have our laptops out. Sometimes we'd have a chat window going in the background so we could reach out if we felt like it.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/23 07:38 PM
11

I, and a lot of the women I'm friendly with on Reddit, refer to this as the Captain/First Mate dynamic. This is a dynamic I can be really comfortable with.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 07:31 PM
4

I plan on 50/50 because I'm not going to be a SAHM (or any M) and housework is not a full-time job to me. There will still be household tasks I am incapable of, as a small woman without much arm strength, and the tasks I am capable of don't need to take long or be carefully thought through. Laundry? Two people don't make much of that. Dishes? Rinse as soon as you're done eating, straight into the dishwasher. Wash non-dishwasher-safe items immediately after use, set out to dry. Floors can wait un…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/23 07:23 PM
1

You're definitely 20.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 07:04 PM
2

TIL: conventionally attractive = Stacy aged about 23 (25 is The Wall)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 06:28 PM
1

The fact that you're not including yourself in "adults" yet tells me everything I need to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 06:27 PM
2

I was asking him specifically what he meant. Since you are not him, how am I meant to learn what he meant from you? As I've said, he answered the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 06:21 PM
2

How do you get a woman's attention to seriously give you a chance: Every woman is different, but personally I give men a chance who are super real with me and who see me as more than a potential lay. I want to be with a person, not a penis. Hopefully you want to be with a person, not a vagina. How to trigger arousal: Again, for me -- it starts with the primal. Smell good, but don't bathe in cologne. Enough to raise my eyebrows, not enough to gas me. :) Little touches to neutral places throughout…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 05:56 PM
1

We're going to have to disagree about the face like a foot thing, but the rest of him ngl is kind of not it
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 05:49 PM
2

He answered me to my satisfaction, thank you :)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 05:46 PM
3

Give me strength. No, it's not true. I'm physically attracted to more men than I'm entirely happy with because there's more that a man needs to be in order to be relationship material. If he's "friendzoned", he can be as physically attractive as he likes, there's still something missing that I don't see in him.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 04:59 PM
2

Are you putting women lying on the same level as killing someone, or am I just misreading you?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 04:38 PM
0

What men should be asking is, how do I get a woman’s attention to seriously give me a chance or how do I trigger arousal. Yes, this. Ask us the question you want the answer to. I at least will be happy to answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 04:35 PM
1

1) life experience. I'm 20 I don't know how to break it to you, but life experience is not what you should be leading with.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 04:25 PM
1

Ugly is as ugly does. I knew a guy with a face like this and he was laid-back, chill, very fun to be around -- you bet I would've gone for that. And he was married, so I did not. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 04:19 PM
1

Take all my upvotes, please. Also, congratulations on successfully raising children. That's some hard stuff right there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 04:18 PM
3

What a pity the rest of us exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 04:16 PM
1

So, I'm one of the few, the proud, the English lit students who read Pygmalion as a love story where it definitely was not intended as one, and the idea of being developed in the context of a loving relationship resonates with me. I appreciate the time you're willing to put into a woman who you think has potential. I never thought of Stacy beyond the shallow aspects of her. It looks like being her is a lot more attainable than a lot of people think, if you add in what I think of as RMV traits (f…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 04:15 PM
3

So, I'm curious about what you mean when you say "develop a girl" as juxtaposed with "look for Stacy". How do you develop a girl into being Stacy? It's my understanding that Stacy's SMV, not her RMV, is what makes her Stacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 03:23 PM
4

Ouch, man. I'm sorry that happened to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 03:21 PM
1

You know, the other day, I did say something about engagement rings. Expensive tradition I didn't necessarily expect to be followed. But I'll expand: since I want a ring, I want to get him a ring, too. Why should I have all the shiny? And the ring doesn't have to break the bank. Something small and tasteful will do me nicely.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 01:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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