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dogsrule2019 Archive

View 1 posts and 271 comments by dogsrule2019 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

dogsrule2019/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 04:13 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

Y’all haven’t made mortgage payments it sounds like. Maybe you paid rent to the mortgage company but yall don’t own the house. IMO she is headed towards a rude awakening. Good luck, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 03:59 AM
10

It’s a generalization. Yet, it’s true.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 12:53 PM
24

Men will give up happiness for the sake of the family. Women will give up their family for the sake of their happiness. End of story.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 03:52 AM
1

Do you regret remarrying?
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 03:47 AM
7

You should get alimony and child support.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 12:17 AM
14

Hate to say it but you are her meal ticket and likely always was.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 07:25 PM
3

Accountability is a woman’s kryptonite.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 08:05 PM
2

I’m possibly about to speak out of line. I don’t know the backstory. But you sound like you’ve been beaten to a pulp. If you majorly fd up then yeah you have to deal with it. Business she was an utter saint, this is a shared situation. I say man up, bow up, and be you. Take care of your daughter. It’s not that hard man. Love her. That’s all. And don’t try to be your wife’s friend. Do you. Improve you. Be the best man for yourself and your girl. Many weaker men than you have accomplished this. If…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 05:05 AM
4

Accountability is a woman’s kryptonite.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 05:17 PM
3

Aka horirls weekend
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 02:16 AM
1

Why do I think it keeps happening? Because otherwise intelligent men keep remarrying. It’s nuts.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 11:15 PM
0

If there comes a time to tell him, he will know it. But in general, how does the kid benefit. Sure, we’d all be pissed and want to shout to everyone what a whore she is, but truly, how does the child benefit? Now, if she doesn’t act right there may be no choice. But it can also be a motivator for her to.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 02:53 PM
2

Do not tell your son ever. It’s not his burden to bear. It’s y’all’s. Good luck, brother, regardless of which path you choose.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 04:46 AM
2

You should be good when the dust settles. Patience is key. Deep breaths.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 05:02 AM
3

Brother. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. But you WILL get through it. You were a strong successful person before you met her. You STILL ARE. She does not define you as a person. Lean on us. Cuss, scream and weep as needed. Do what the others have said, even if it’s for a limited period. Get the help you need so you can breathe. So the fog can lift. Each day you will get stronger. Again, let us help.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 09:19 PM
1

Damn. Brutal regardless.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 04:42 AM
2

Just saw your comment about them moving to Hawaii. How did she get that custody agreement from a judge? Something seems to be at play here that you may not be sharing? I’m hoping a judge wouldn’t allow that assuming you’re an excellent father. Don’t take this the wrong way and there is no accusation intended. I think we just need more background. Either way, best of luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 03:38 AM
1

Your kids need both parents in their lives (barring extreme circumstances). Quit trying to “win” and instead fight for the kids and their overall mental health, and not yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 03:34 AM
6

Assuming troll. If not, voice activated recorder or small camera will answer the question in a week. Then share the video with the community. Especially the church. Live stream it during the worship service and hire a band to play Chariots of Fire for the soundtrack. Okay this is all prob bad advice but if this isn’t a troll post, it’s a train wreck. And quit tucking your balls between your legs and be a man and kick the dude out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 09:27 PM
1

I didn’t see where you were asking her to work through this with you. Are you going to even give her the chance to work together to at least try to work things out? Kids can be okay post divorce but in general are better off in a 2 parent home. You fucked up. Doesn’t make you a horrible person or parent. It makes you fallible, as we all are. Do. Your. Best.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 01:21 AM
0

This is common knowledge.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 06:20 PM
4

She wakes up and has to be her. You wake up and get to be you. Remember this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 04:06 AM
5

I’m teaching my sons to marry a girl that won’t be a sahm and or makes more than them. Sad to say but this is the new reality. As a male getting married has far too many downsides.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 03:43 AM
1

If genders were flipped this would be a different story. It sounds like you need a new attorney. This one is T getting it done. You should get alimony, at least 50/50 if not more, and child support as well as half of all assets. This is fucked. You’ve got to stand up for yourself, and for your future with your kids. Pulling for you, brother. Don’t let up.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 02:12 AM
3

Pardon my French, but fuck her. She’s doing nothing for the kids or to nurture your relationship with them. She might wake up if she realizes she may have to sell and move. I think you have to play hardball for her to respect you more and treat you as an equal. She’s prob lying to the kids too, which is abhorrent.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 02:09 AM
2

Why isn’t house being sold and all assets split and time Be 50/50? That’s generally the default. A lot of this situation isn’t making sense or I missed a key part.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 01:50 AM
1

Sounds like kids are mid teen years. Why do they hate you/not want to be with you?
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 01:47 AM
1

Depending on your state I’d have a recording device on when you tell her for your own protection.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 02:29 AM
4

Any change in drive sans alcohol?
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 07:17 PM
1

First I’m deeply sorry for your diagnosis. BUT, the fact you fought and were 100% in their lives these last 5 formative years will serve your kids well the rest of your life. Drop the regret. Drop the hate for your ex. Don’t spend your final months with those emotions. Quite the opposite, pat yourself on the back for going through a mountain of shit to do the right thing for THEM. In many cases I’ve gathered is when men have kids they put them selves last. Many mothers can’t stand to not be firs…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 03:15 PM
0

Winning.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 02:57 AM
5

Everything good has been said here. But I will add this: your boys fucking need you. DO NOT let them down. It’s your job. Embrace it!
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 03:11 AM
2

I love the excitement of all of these comments but don’t do anything without talking to your attorney. And assuming you can provide a great life for the kids, always fight for 50/50. Good luck, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 03:07 AM
1

The quicker the divorce the less the atty makes. It’s all fd up.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 07:30 PM
1

This. No way she should get the house and half of your income. And I read a story where the decree was written that his ex gets half his retirement at retirement. So he left his main job and got a job at Starbucks and was going to work there the rest of his life, essentially never retiring. Sounded like the dude was pretty loaded too. Genius plan.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 07:23 PM
2

This might sound completely stupid, but join a gym (and ideally find a workout partner) and start going at 5 am. At least the days you don’t have the kids. It will change your life. But it takes time. Hang in there bro.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 03:38 AM
1

She doesn’t want time with her kids?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 04:51 AM
2

Well, "a must" might have not been the correct wording. But most here will recommend a period of time (I've seen a year be consistently suggested) to get over your ex and rebuild yourself. None of us are here to tell you what to do, but instead we share what has seemed to help others in a similar situation. I think your writing of your emotions dealing with your ex is what led me to say "a must" but should have been reworded as "highly recommended" or something along those lines. Either way, we'…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 09:27 PM
1

Holding off on intimacy is a must. Sounds like you like spending time with her. Sounds like she supports you. Just take it slow from here on out. You’re good, bro.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 08:03 PM
1

Because they’re narcissistic af and want what THEY want and fuck everyone else.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 02:34 AM
1

LOL. The FBI would call that "a clue". And it's of course possible that she is interested in someone else and this is the best excuse she could come up with for wanting a divorce? Who knows. Just really really odd.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 10:52 PM
3

It sounds extremely narcissistic to me. She’ll blow up the lives of 5 people because she’s not getting her way? That’s beyond fd up. And that you’re happy with everything else about the relationship? Sounds like she needs counseling or help from the church. This is not normal behavior. Good luck to you regardless of how it works out. And I don’t agree with going straight to war mode. Hopefully you both can be amicable all the way through. But be ready to follow the advice here the minute it’s no…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 09:31 PM
9

Work out at 5 am. I promise they won’t be there then.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 04:11 AM
1

Got it. A lot of those details were absent in your last post. Makes sense. Congrats. Live on.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 07:02 AM
2

Damn. Something is messed up in her head, or she has some dude promising her a life of luxury and doesn’t want to be burdened by the responsibilities of kids. Wants it to be all about her again. Could be BPD. Good luck though. Feel terrible for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 11:32 PM
2

My hunch is that if she’s giving you full custody and walking away from the family, they’re not going to pick apart the bank accounts. But I’m def not an atty. How old are the kids?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 11:02 PM
3

Based on the outcome I’m not sure how that was the best money you ever spent. Sounds like you got screwed over royally.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 06:22 PM
2

I’m sorry you’re going through this. You will emerge victorious no matter what the judge rules. You’ll improve yourself where necessary and will find happiness. One day at the time only. A lot of us care about our brothers going through the pain, so lean on us. And the only thing I know to do is educate my boys as they get older so they don’t fall victim to the same system. I’m somewhere between “get a solid prenup” and “don’t marry and just do the legal paperwork concerning children that are bo…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 03:40 PM
1

It’s all relative. If there is $1.2M and he pulls a few hundred every now and then it’s prob a non event. However, if he never pulled money out for 8 years and all of a sudden he’s pulling $5000 a month then eye brows will be raised. Once the judge or opposing defense catches on, you’re fucking done. Once character is questionable, the battle is much harder. It’s just not worth the risk.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 03:10 AM
1

Terrible advice here. Do not try to hide anything from judges and attorneys. It will end poorly for you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 10:02 PM
3

This. Do not go out trying to date right away. Much more important things to be focused on, brother. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 04:13 PM
1

Does the wife have any idea it’s coming?
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 02:10 AM
0

I don’t have any issues with your posting here. Sounds like you’re going through what many men here have/are. Yours should be pretty simple to close out and you’ll be better off it sounds like. Just get your half, move on, and rebuild. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 01:30 AM
1

So I can’t break down a door in the home I own? How do you trespass in your own home? It sounds like he did the responsible thing by removing the firearm from an emotionally tense situation. But now he’s in jail and on leave from his job. Doesn’t add up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 12:53 AM
1

Fuck her. Get yours.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 05:11 AM
1

I get where y’all’s heads/hearts were. But she’s your son’s mother. If there’s one person that isn’t going to be reckless it’s prob her. And have you met her fiancé? I mean, your ex has essentially pledged herself to her so I’d like to believe you have nothing to worry about. The bigger concern to me is your mindset and wanting a lot of control. You need learn to allow the gap to exist when it’s her time, and use that to focus on yourself and do your own thing. Y’all have at least 14 years to wo…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 12:03 AM
19

You can love women or understand women. Pick one.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 06:09 AM
5

First, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It, well, sucks. But the life you can live on the other side is so much richer. You know what you need to do. Divorce her and get it done. It doesn’t mean you can’t date later. But get the legality shit behind you. There are women that will treasure a good man that can take them out and treat them well. 27 years is a long time, but she’s treating you like garbage, and you’re allowing her to. Stop it. You deserve better and will live better in the end. G…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 05:52 AM
1

I’ve often wondered if the majority of amicable divorces stem from the woman cheating, and the hostile divorces stemming from where the man cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 08:07 PM
1

Ahhh. Nice.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 05:06 PM
1

?
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 04:23 PM
4

Good. Keep that mindset. And she wants you to give her $200k+ in equity AND have you pay every month? I’d argue for you to stay in the house as she can’t afford it anyway. Next option is for her to take the home and refi it out of your name but likely won’t qualify for the new payment as it will likely be MUCH higher. Lastly, sell and split the equity and you each set up separate housing. But her staying in the house doesn’t seem feasible at all. But she’s a woman and knows she DESERVES it. So e…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 03:39 PM
1

How much equity is in the house? And car?
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 02:32 PM
5

She likely is. And she may be feeling guilt about it and if you’d hit her then it’ll all be your fault and she would be relieved of any responsibility. Get the recorder at a minimum.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 02:07 PM
1

Pick a room each one at the time and only premarital sentimental objects are the variables/exceptions. Or put everything on paper in a hat and take turns drawing out of it. Then trade as you see fit.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 01:36 AM
22

She likely cheated or had one in waiting and is trying to transfer her guilt to you. She may even actually convince herself it’s true. And yes, talk to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 05:28 PM
1

Just. Holy. Hell.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 12:46 PM
2

Yeah man. Sorry. I know it’s hard but your life will be infinitely better. Make her communicate through a coparenting app and block her on your mobile. She hasn’t earned the privilege of yanking your chain post divorce. F that noise.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 03:01 AM
3

And just how hot is this chick? I mean, she has to be pretty incredible (on the surface).
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 02:58 AM
3

If once divorced you want to date/fuck/fwb etc fine. Just DO NOT REMARRY HER. Nothing to gain.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 06:34 AM
1

No.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 05:41 AM
6

Do not follow the advice of the poster above. Consult an attorney yesterday. And your wife is likely having an affair.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 03:40 PM
5

This is what I do for a living. First, speak to an atty vs Reddit. That said I see two main options as it sounds like she won’t qualify to take the mortgage out of your name and into hers. A—sell it and split the proceeds and each set up new housing. B—you stay, she leaves, and you do a HELOC to give her the half she is presumably entitled to. This may be a better option for you as I presume your int rate is likely well below current market. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 08:17 PM
2

Terrible advice.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 08:12 PM
2

Cut your losses and run. Consider it a learning experience. Enjoy your young years and decide if you want to marry again or not. Putting the government in charge of your relationship may not be the best route. But if you do remarry, get a prenup. Women often file for divorce because they’re incentivized financially. If they faced the same outcome men face some might put in more work to right the ship.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 01:43 PM
11

That shouldn’t have hurt you. That’s a commentary about her. Not you. But I get where you were.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 07:38 PM
1

Pretty much no. I might go with maybe if she makes more or substantially more than you. But sounds like you already see a problem on the horizon about moving to the rat race (don’t!). Also yes, you doing the things you love when and how you want to will change as well. At the very least, wait until you’re mid 30s. And if you ever marry, get a prenup. Yes, they work if done properly.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 04:31 PM
5

Brother—I can understand where you are. It does suck and is not ideal. It IS good that you received what you sought, presumably. And I get hating the kids being raised by divorced parents. However at their age they likely won’t remember anything else and divorce is so commonplace they’ll be fine. Hopefully you will heal each day. But no, you can’t and shouldn’t imo “celebrate” the end of a relationship involving children. However you will heal and be better off in the long run. Take one day at t…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 04:31 AM
6

Man. This must be tough as hell on you. You have to start with an honest talk with her. From what you mention about her, she’ll prob handle it as gracefully as one may. And a decent chance she’s been wondering about this very thing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 06:52 PM
2

Do what you know you need to do. If you’ve spent any time here, you know what that is.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 11:59 PM
1

I don’t think you’re being petty at all. However I’d ask kiddo what she wants. And if they do breakfast alone do you get dinner alone? If so then that’s a good solution. If the kid wants both meals with all 3 of you then that’s what should happen. I agree that it being your weekend doesn’t matter but first, what does the daughter want and next divvy it up 50 50 so u get dinner.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 04:22 PM
6

First now that she has income the financial hit shouldn’t be near as bad. No kids makes things way easier. In some states infidelity causes a decrease or elimination in alimony. If I were you I’d play nice and let happen what we both know is going to. Prob within a year. Then make your exit. You can certainly find happiness,love and respect on the other side. And it certainly won’t be worse than what you’re enduring. Hang tough, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 06:31 PM
2

This sucks I get it. But you'll likely live to 80, so 7 or 8 months of lease trap and shitty x is nothing comparatively. You can't see it yet but the happiness on the other side of this isn't even measurable. Stay strong. Shed this useless weight and focus on you. It WILL get better. Gloriously better. Look forward to THAT.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 01:17 AM
3

If u have 500k in equity I'd go the route of that instead of monthly. If the mkt eases and values fall you're better off. I'm assuming she works and has income. If not the equity won't do her any good.... Good luck, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/22 04:36 AM
18

You need to talk to a lawyer yesterday.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 08:27 PM
3

Really?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 05:25 AM
1

I agree with pretty much all that you say here. It's about to get pretty dark. I'm having to make some of the same decisions. But I still say the OP has to give us a lot more info than he has for us to offer fair guidance.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 01:29 PM
3

I disagree. We don't have enough info to be pushing that. It may be correct advice, yet it may not be as well.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 03:37 AM
3

Wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 03:15 AM
2

Dude. I know it hurts. But you'll be okay. And your son NEEDS you in his life. Take one day at the time. You'll get there.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 03:47 AM
1

This is always posted about prenups and it's wrong. Done properly they are entirely enforceable. If you ask her to sign it a week before the wedding, it'll get thrown out. You get it signed months before the wedding and it's executed properly it can and should absolutely be enforced.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 11:23 PM
3

Dude she already has someone else. Does she work? If so this should be fairly easy and quick. Do not move out, period. Yall will split debts and assets most likely. That's it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 02:49 PM
2

Straight up sniperville.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 12:33 AM
1

Sorry you're going through this OP. My hunch is that one of her clients is more than that, or is soon to be. Overwhelmingly women don't leave plan A without a Plan B already in place. I have a personal theory that when some women see their husband doting on the children instead of her getting 100% of the attention they seek someone who will make them the center of their universe. Sounds like BPD is very possible. Depression if untreated is a nightmare. Sounds like overall you've been a solid hus…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 03:23 PM
1

From what I understand, most definitely possible on both.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 03:14 PM
6

Yeah they think they want it because they're INDEPENDENT. But then they begin to realize what all that entails and they panic tf out. And if they're beyond their dating prime with regard to looks/fitness they realize they may spend many years or the rest of their life alone.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 12:00 AM
5

100%. I think if we could be 100% honest, women are, in general, subs. Feminism has told them they have to be doms. They try. It doesn't work. They fail. Marriages fail. It's shameful that it's gone down this way. Didn't have to. My boys will be much more heads up and aware as they enter the dating/marriage phase of their lives.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 03:09 PM
5

And then somehow roll out the victim card when they're not getting what they think they deserve.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 10:22 PM
15

Also, some of us were raised to be the new "sensitive generation", to be in touch with our feelings, and to not be the "hard" men that came before us. That women liked this new type man, etc. In the vast majority of the time, imo, it's total bullshit. Women want a MAN. A leader. Wants him to be stoic and strong. They do not want him crying and being sensitive. They don't respect that guy. Just my .02.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 06:37 PM
18

Women marry men expecting them to change, and we don't. Men marry women not expecting them to change, and they do.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 06:00 PM
17

You're not listening. Move tf back into YOUR HOME.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 05:55 PM
1

I think your point was well made, bud. Appreciate your presence here.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 02:49 AM
1

A lot to unpack here. Almost too much. And I'm in the US so prob useless. My man logic is kicking in though and I must release it. But a few points. -So the ex will continue to own half of the business that you're solely working on/in? -She doesn't take a check/salary? -So you take all of the biz income, pay taxes on it, and then give it to her post tax? -So you build/grow the biz and increase the value of it for 10 more years, and when you sell, she gets half? -Seems like you'd take revenue, ad…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 01:45 PM
7

You're giving them money why? Invite your son to live with you and cut the rest off.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 03:58 AM
1

Sounds like.your first step is to just talk to her. She likely feels the same but is afraid to bring it up. With proper legal guidance maybe yall do 6 months apart and see how you each feel. Maybe prior to that you establish what the post divorce financial picture looks like for both of you so that's already clear during the separation. Assure her you don't hate her blame her. Ask if she's happy and excited.to see you when you get home from being away. Just start the conversation. She knows you'…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/22 05:19 PM
11

In a few months that pussy will smell just as bad as the one you're married to. Get a grip, dude. And slow tf down.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 04:05 AM
2

Anytime you need help, we're here.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 03:08 AM
4

Absolutely.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 04:23 AM
4

She's been planning this for months. Every move she's making is tactical. She's trying to get a reaction from you that will benefit her later. And she's trying to hurt you. You didn't mention the kids ages but if they're old enough to be crying they're old enough to understand the truth and you'll get the opportunity to tell them that. If legal in your state record every word anytime you're face to face. Video is even better. Take the high road. You AND the kids will be better off when this is d…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 12:55 AM
2

I'm not the OP, dumbass. Why are you even here?
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 03:30 AM
6

She had years to address the looming cut off of funds and chose not to. This gentleman is not in the welfare business.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 12:50 AM
1

I have a business degree and am 53. The older I get the less I'm convinced what a degree is worth, or what it tells me about a potential applicant. I'm sure in some fields they're more critical than in others. But I wouldn't think tech is one of those places. 4 years of hands on real world experience vs a degree would prompt me to hear both out.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 12:48 AM
1

How about this: say your rent, utilities etc are $10k a month. F it. Call it 25k a month. You both put 12,500 a month into the joint account and pay the bills. The left overs go into your own personal accounts. Draw up a post nup that those individual accounts are protected through divorce. She gets her millions and you get what you saved. Prob best to talk to an atty to see how this looks. How does she rationalize spending your paychecks while protecting the principal of her inheritance which i…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 03:05 AM
4

If you are in a victim mindset, and maybe you aren't, but if you are, it will only paralyze you. I'm not against you. Don't assume anything.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 06:06 AM
4

Shift your brain, brother. We're here.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 04:23 AM
7

No kids? No contact. F that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 04:22 AM
2

I call this success and winning. Nice work, brother. Therapy? Prob wouldn't hurt. But if y'all were friendly and amicable and no real nastiness occurred, it shouldn't take long. This is now YOUR time for YOU. You are entering life 2.0. I agree to do/schedule something special with your daughters on a regular/recurring basis. And I'm north of Atlanta so DM me if I can help. Am somewhat familiar with boats/Lanier and glad to share what I know. Enjoy what's coming!
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/22 02:42 PM
2

Gtfo asap, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 01:08 AM
8

Let me add that women, in general, treat relationships like we treat careers. Climb up as fast as you can. What they leave in their wake doesn't matter. They want the best for themselves and want the best/easiest life they can attain. In a way it's understandable if you can be truly objective. But we men are groomed to marry, be loyal and care for our wife and children. It's an oddity that's tough to process at times. Hang tough and take your time, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 02:16 AM
19

As someone here quoted, you can love women or understand them. Not both. It's okay to be alone until you feel differently.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 11:40 PM
5

I have a just turned 19 year old. She knows all. When she left for college my footprint may have been on the ass of her pants. She's a great kid but has to figure her shit out. We're already closer. Her being away taught her she does not know all. She needs me and yours will need you. Just be as patient as you can.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/22 02:50 AM
2

They will. Stay patient.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/22 02:48 AM
1

Nope.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 03:30 AM
2

Don't wait. Just takes one time.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 09:14 PM
3

I get she's beautiful. But that's not going to last long. Your money goes to you, her, and her parents. Hers goes to her and her parents. In addition she may still have to ask them for permission when YOU want to do something with her. Them not being able to communicate seemsike it'll be a disaster in no time. You seem like a guy that's so nice that if this goes down you may end up living in misery instead of upsetting everyone. Focus on you for a bit. You've earned that right.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 02:45 PM
9

Run the other way, brother. You will have your choice of women and you won't have to accept all of these strings. Get it done quick so she can stay with her now husband if she chooses.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 02:36 AM
3

What does she bring to the party, aside from anatomy? Are they worth millions? Are they purchasing the entire home on their own? Do you want any privacy the rest of your/their life? As it stands now, there'll be 3 of them constantly watching your every move. Doesn't sound like an ideal situation. You know the answer. And if I read this correctly you're about to go through a divorce and straight into a live in arrangement with a woman and her parents? Kill me now. Please.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 02:30 AM
6

So file now and if she quits after you file that's on her. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 04:12 AM
10

Hate to say it but there's prob someone else. Or, she's suffering mental health issues. You have to take care of you and your son. Start the divorce NOW.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 02:47 AM
2

This fanfuckingtastic. Well, not the divorce obv, but you'll have those girls forever. Stay strong, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 07:42 PM
2

Well in GA if you haven't had sex since finding out about the affair then it can affect alimony, so it varies by state. Your atty can inform you on this. But sounds like you are in a good spot mentally and mindset, and sounds like a pretty simple split. Best of luck, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 04:42 PM
3

Brother, I wish I could give you a hug and buy you a beer. And talk to you. I think you have an incredible heart based on what I've read. But here's the thing: it's over. She likely has another dude already lined up. That's why she wants this done quickly. Slow things down. Make her play at YOUR pace. NOT hers. She also knows you and thinks you'll accept whatever she puts in front of you because you're worried about your kids. Listen. With that income gap she likely owes you alimony, definitely …
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 04:38 AM
2

Brother, kicking or hating yourself accomplishes nothing. And thank you for sharing so others can learn. And I agree, we are trained to be gentle and caring creatures. Today's women, imo, don't want that. Most want the man to be in charge. Don't be the softie sensitive one. Yes be nice and loving etc, but be in charge. Women respect that. And want that. And if you don't offer that, they will grow bored and find it elsewhere. Just my.02. And fixingme, give yourself some grace. It's not on you, br…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 01:51 AM
2

Fuck no.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 04:04 AM
35

Oh boy. Skewer me if you want but I'm about to be real honest. So how long have you dated? I'm taking that it has been a yearish? She's about to take a 30k paycut to 90k, you make 180k, but you're going to live near her area and deal with a shit commute for half your life? And do all this so that when you walk in from work at whatever time that is an 8 year old gets to drive you f'ing crazy? You're not thinking right, brother. I say hold what you got. The reason dating beats marriage is that whe…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 07:53 PM
9

The curse and blessing is that most men will recall the good parts of the relationship, and most women will remember and focus on the shit times. You'll be so much better on the other side, brother. Hang in there...
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:50 PM
5

A 3 piece suit implies a vest which to me is overkill. If you have agreed on everything then it seems like this is a formality. Seems a blazer, slacks and dress shoes would be more than sufficient. Good luck OP.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 01:02 PM
2

Apologies. I misread your last paragraph. And I've been through something similar. Many women want what they want and fuck any collateral damage. Well, the diff between men and women is we process the thought of collateral damage. They just want to be made to feel special and get what they want. Your son knows who the rock is no doubt. Keep being there for him.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:49 AM
1

This is sad and tough to hear. How did he find out about the affair? I'm hoping it didn't come from you and assume it didn't. And in GA I think a kid can choose at age 14. Just keep fighting for him and his mental health. You're doing good, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:27 AM
3

Please don't let a woman define your value, dude. You were fine before her and you'll be greater than ever after! Rise up. Go for a walk. Call a friend/brother/father or reach our to any of us on this thread. It ain't worth it and one day you'll look back and be very glad you didn't follow through. We're here for you!
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 09:20 PM
9

Dude. I feel you. And I'm sorry. Majority are crazy, drunk or not. This is the time for you to rise up. Do what's right. Be the best you. Fuck her. She has no control over you or your happiness but what YOU allow. Talk to an attorney and feel out the situation. Be the best f'ing dad you can be. Take the kids out 1 on 1 for meals. Hit the gym. Lift heavy weights. It's fuel for your brain and confidence. Leave the anger behind. She is who she is and you won't have to face her every morning you wak…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/22 03:17 AM
4

Are you in the US? If so the daughter can choose where she spends her time. She will naturally migrate to best environment for her. Build that environment and be the best Dad you can be. Sorry you're dealing with this but I think you'll be fine. Keep it as peaceful as possible with the stbx. It's healthier for all. Let the anger go and focus on you. We're here to support you, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 03:19 PM
1

First, thank you for your service. I truly mean that. Second, she gets lifetime benefits from YOUR service. End it now. There is so much happiness on the other side. Be patient and take it day by day. She has to deal with her decisions. It's NOT your responsibility. YOU are your responsibility. Now, get on with it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 05:17 AM
3

That's f'ing crazy. But they think clearly rarely.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 03:58 AM
3

She has shown who she is. Do nothing but talk to a lawyer and file. She's not your wife any more. She's not your friend. Divorce and live your best life. If kids were in the picture ny advice may differ a bit but given what you've shared this is my advice. We're here for you. Lean on us.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 05:43 AM
1

Just stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 05:39 AM
1

That is beyond crazy fucked up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 05:39 AM
3

Love this. Congrats bro.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 04:47 AM
1

At what points do the cops go after her for calling in fake charges?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 02:36 AM
9

Holy fucking shit. I'm sorry, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 03:15 AM
8

They don't need to know. The only question is "how does this help/serve/benefit them?". The answer is it doesn't. Your burden isn't theirs. Good luck and be the best man you can be. We're here
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 07:07 AM
1

A few items to live by: never comingle money. Keep it separate always. You can always gift funds or cover more dates at your discretion. Never marry if she earns a lot less than you. It won't work and when it doesn't, your income becomes hers. Prenups can work but have to be drawn up well in advance of the wedding and agreed to by both parties with lawyers involved on both sides. One signed weeks before the big day will be thrown out most likely. Understand this: marriage is you basically saying…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 03:10 AM
3

The next person to opine the happy wife bullshit line is getting punched in the nose. Happy spouse happy house is closer to.accurate. Both should work to bring happiness to their SO.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 03:00 AM
2

Brother--I'm sorry. Not much else I can say. Just hang in there and take it a day at the time. If you're not already start being the best person and father you can possibly be. Not to put on a show but to send a message. Do anything you can with/for your kids. Strengthen the bonds. Be as nice as you can with the stbx if she'll allow it. You both win if so. Breathe deep. Push heavy weight if you can. There is light on the other side. We're here for you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 11:24 PM
2

One day at the time. One step at the time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 04:09 AM
1

You know what you need to do. You don't like being with her. You don't want to go back to her. She's had limitless times to correct the problem but instead she (shockingly) throws it back on you and it's your fault. Get out before you make more. It's only going to get worse.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 04:26 AM
4

You need an atty my man just to get an honest view of the landscape. You'll rest easier. Check phone records as an initial verification. You may be surprised but it may also have minimal impact on the whole scenario. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 05:46 AM
5

Brother, I'm sorry. You don't deserve this. But she's likely doing you a huge favor. Do you have kids? How old? Does she work? All this will dictate your situation. But regardless, hang tough and take it one day at the time. Get in the gym and push heavy weight. Really. It changes you for the better. Stay strong and lean on us. We are here to support you through this.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 05:15 AM
6

All adults should respect each other's opinion and live and let live. Your case is a little trickier. I have 18 Yo girl vaxed by her own decision and 16 and 11 year old boys that are not vaxed. They don't want it and I'm in agreement. If I were you, I'd prob fight the bigger battles in front of you. Just my 2 cents. Good luck, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/21 04:38 AM
5

This.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/21 12:34 AM
1

I disagree with you but respect a difference of opinion. And if I thought she was going to be begging him back or dropping her ass on the lunch table and offering dessert then F no. But after this meeting it is def up to OP to process this and move forward on his own. Let's just wish him the best. Only he knows what he needs. Cheers to you both.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/21 02:01 AM
3

I get it. It's simple closure. If you were prone to bone her I'd advise against it. Otherwise, share a coffee and wrap up that chapter of your life. Your clarity moving forward will work to your advantage. Good luck, brother...
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/21 04:06 AM
2

Woah Woah Woah. No kids. Similar incomes. Cut the fucking cord, brother. Take this opportunity. You're young. You'll flourish. As someone once said to me: you get to wake up every day and be who you are. She HAS to wake up everyday and be who she is. Take the tremendous opportunity before you and run with it. God speed.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/21 03:44 AM
3

First, sorry you have to deal with this. Next, as you know, it's about the kids most of all. My hunch is your wife is probably attractive and woke up one day to realize the world didn't revolve around her and it was about the kids now. And that doesn't sit well with a narcissist which your wife likely is. So she abandoned family and found people that will put her on a pedastal. It's freakish I know. Been through it myself. Has to be about them. Put her aside and build your new life for you and t…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/21 01:44 AM
4

Normally the x has x period of time to refinance and remove you. Sounds like she won't be able to due to credit so either you should stay or sell it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/21 05:11 AM
1

I get your sentiment and it applies often but don't believe you read his story in this case.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/21 05:30 AM
3

You're about to live your best life. She did you the biggest favor. Send her a thank you card every Christmas.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/21 04:19 AM
3

Get sleep. As much as possible. We're all better people when rested.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/21 03:09 AM
9

The next person I hear say "happy wife happy life" is going to get punched square in the jaw regardless of the specific genetals. What an entirely fucked up concept. How about "dick is sucked she's not fucked"? Or "blow job done her job done"? Surely yall can improve on this. And yes, feminism has wrecked the traditional relationship. Girl power!
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/21 04:11 AM
7

I'm 52. Been around here for awhile. A few thoughts on your post: --you got married at 18. You were still a child. When you're on the other side of this you will live some of your best years.. --if possible, don't take the adultery personally. Happens all the fucking time. It's much more a commentary on the narcissistic person committing it. --do not contact her. The healing can't begin without separation. --you can't be happy being with someone else until you can be happy being by yourself. And…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/21 03:48 AM
2

Yeah. Just accept that the numbers are going to look rough. I know she'd normally be required to find work but if she homeschool and y'all agree on that, not sure how she can work an outside job also. But know you'll survive this financially and emotionally. We're here to support you...
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 04:37 PM
1

Dude--may not be what you want to hear. Let the animals go. F the furniture. Just GET THE DIVORCE FINALIZED and move on with life. You can get a new cat at some point in the future. But for now, enjoy not being tied down at all and being young. You have too much life ahead of you to argue over the things that seem very important to you now. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 04:05 PM
2

Thanks for the clarification. Very useful and relevant to your story. First, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Second, you've gotten good advice here but you do need an attorney or mediator. Mediator's seem good when both spouses are reasonable. I'm taking it yours isn't. Try not to leave the house. At least you have the false accusation/assault charge out of the way so she shouldn't try that again. Just KEEP THE KIDS FIRST, and hope she will. Fortunately 3 are old enough to understand, and ar…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 04:00 PM
1

Wondering if OP had someone in waiting. That'll skew your outlook for sure. Why is the split happening? Don't get me wrong. We are here to help. But give all the facts that are relevant to your situation, please.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 04:56 AM
4

I don't mean to be crude, but fuck that bullshit. Go get your freedom back, dude. We are here to support you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/21 02:21 AM
1

It's part of the process, brother. And meds can certainly help you through rough patches. It's okay. Are you working out in any way? Even if it's a strenuous walk. But if you have access to them, lift heavy weights. It truly helps fix your brain. You WILL emerge from this happy, stronger, and a better person. Do this for YOU. You've no doubt spent years doing for others. It's time to put yourself first at least when you're alone. Do NOT let a woman determine your worth. They're not qualified to.…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/21 08:37 PM
1

So how are things?
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/21 04:58 AM
1

Holy shit dude. I think you won the damn lottery. Congrats.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/21 01:18 PM
2

Congratulations brother. Looks like you’re making good choices as well!
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/21 01:31 PM
2

All of us do. But if you do the work you're going to be amazed by what you can become.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/21 02:25 AM
1

Not to teach us a lesson. To make us wake the hell up. To help us realize how costly it is for a man to get married. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. Make sense? There's no downside risk for a woman to get married. The risk is borne all by the man, except when the woman is equal or higher earner and does not stay at home.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/21 04:56 PM
2

I almost want to believe that judges see everything we see, and they're going to keep making it extremely punitive for men until we all wake tf up and see what is our reality, and the reality of women in today's society.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/21 03:40 PM
4

First off, lean on this group. Then figure out the one or two close friends around you to lean on. We're brothers helping brothers. Most have been through some of what you're dealing with. Let us help. You're not alone. But as other said, time to focus on you. Time to build yourself up. Time to reclaim your identity as a man. Get started. Now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/21 03:16 PM
1

I'm not an atty and didn't say there was a law relating to it. But good luck moving into a hotel for a week, dropping the divorce bomb on her, and then saying "okay, great. I'm ready to move back in!". Not abandoning the home and children is the constant advice around here and it seems to make sense. Aren't you an atty, pegleg?
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/21 02:54 PM
2

If he leaves then the court views it as abandoning the home and the children and it gets worse from there. Try to talk calmly and work through it and come to an agreement while both staying in the home.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/21 02:39 PM
2

Well, sounds like you'll have alimony and child support. Depending on your income, it could be substantial, but I presume you know this already. Hopefully you both keep the kids priorities/safety/emotions front and center. They're the most important thing at this point. So technically, if you think it can be amicable/mediated, I'd likely err a little in her favor and your state likely has a clear cut formula for alimony and child support. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/21 02:37 PM
2

Terrible advice, here.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/21 02:33 PM
3

You've given very little info. What state? Kids involved? House? Many assets? Does she work? Infidelity on either side? I know this last one doesn't matter in most states courts, but it certainly will affect your approach and offer. Does she have any idea your head is where it's at? But I agree with dday--your approach is perfect for a male to male transaction. Not so much for husband and stbxw.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/21 01:50 PM
1

Thrilled for you brother. We all deserve happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/21 01:53 PM
1

Doing it right, bro..
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/21 04:48 AM
1

Brother--rest easy and enjoy your time away. Married people with kids need more time away from kids than what you're taking for yourself. I'm sure you spent a period suffering. You need healing time, too. Enjoy it!
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/21 04:00 PM
2

GTFO.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 05:19 AM
2

Pulling for you, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 11:58 AM
1

Her behavior is simply her narcissism. In her mind she still controls you. If it's not about the kids, ignore her. Good luck, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/21 04:05 AM
1

Just remember this: you are a dude. Therefore you will find happiness and protect it like hell in the future. She will not. She may have brief periods of it, but she is not capable of maintaining it. Stay strong. Fight. Most importantly, focus on the future you, the future freedom you will enjoy, and all the noise that will be gone from your life. Pulling for you, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/21 03:50 AM
2

I'm sorry for you, but you'll get through this. Yes, she prob has someone else lined up. They typically don't leave Plan A without Plan B in place. You're about to be way better off. You'll have to fight and survive for a bit, but start looking forward to freedom and living life how you want to instead of according to someone else's terms.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/21 02:03 PM
27

Dude-take your time. Just date. Remember: a woman worries about the future until she finds a husband. A husband never worries about the future until he finds a wife. Women know if they get you to marry them they are in a win win. If you marry, you are in a lose lose. Any man that weds and enters a relationship contract with the state isn't thinking clearly. May not be what you want to hear, but it is the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 03:02 AM
2

Brother--first you have to protect yourself. Without your safety, nothing will work. Get counsel on proper steps to ensure that. Next, she's either cheating or mentally unstable. You have to end the marriage. There is no choice. For your sake and the kids. Build a solid base for your family. And from my understanding she can't just decide to move to Las Vegas with your kids. Again, counsel. Put your thoughts and concerns on paper so you don't have to store them. One day at the time, my man. We'r…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 02:56 AM
1

No. Get the divorce done and then consider it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/21 03:34 AM
1

No. Get the divorce done and then consider it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/21 03:34 AM
9

This behavior feeds her narcissism. Simple as that. Hang in there, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/21 02:48 PM
2

Sorry, brother. That sucks. If it's unfounded/unproven accusations, I'm getting the feeling judges are catching on to this tactic. I'll state the obvious--assuming you have the proper attorney, follow their guidance. Keep us updated, please, so we can all learn. Hang tough.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/21 02:32 PM
3

Sounds like it's about as good as it's ever going to get. Glad y'all were able to work through this so smoothly and hope it continues. And I agree with others--don't be surprised when she's quickly dating someone else "she just happened to meet". It's already begun. Women don't leave plan A until plan B is set up and confirmed. That said, after you process everything and get some counseling if needed, you're about to live some of the happiest years of your life. Stay strong. Awesome days are ahe…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/21 06:56 PM
1

Not a lawyer here but I'd be shocked if the judge granted her requrest to take the kid across the country since you've been parenting 50/50. Unless I'm missing something, I wouldn't be too concerned about that aspect. Otherwise, yes, marriage and divorce both put men at a disadvantage. You're willing to give up 50% of assets and sound like a reasonable guy and a good Dad. Alimony shouldn't be in play, and child support is equation based. Attorneys do not want you to resolve it or be amicable. I'…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/21 03:14 PM
4

As I'm sure you are aware, do not move out.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 06:56 PM
5

Thrilled for you brother. The more this shit goes on the more it's put on display for judges to see. Most women are f'ing crazy, especially in divorce situations. Good on you. Stay strong and fight for what's yours!
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/21 12:49 AM
2

Sounds like you're in a good spot, at least as good of one as you can be in at this point. Stay the course. You're not dealing with a rational animal, and it will become worse as you move forward. Protect your assets/cash, and credit score, meaning make sure you're not on a card she is "responsible for" because she can skip payments just to try to destroy you. It happens. Stay strong. Stay the course. Good luck, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/21 12:59 PM
1

You need the woman out of your life. Not your kids. Get it done asap. You might provide the only normalcy they have in their lives. Do the right thing by them.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/21 11:59 AM
2

You are both still young and with no kids involved, have a chance at finding the right partner now that you're both more mature and know what is important to you in a mate. If you're not both eagerly engaging in counseling and homework, that prob tells you the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 02:36 PM
1

Dude--You have to shift your mindset. I get that you're angry at her and I understand that. But you're not fighting her anymore. You're fighting FOR your kids. Nothing else. Stop thinking along the lines of "I'm getting screwed" or "my wife is trying to screw me". Think "how can I play my cards so I get the most possible time with my children". I assure you, if she came at you with every other weekend and she has them the rest of the time, you'd quickly be offering to take something close to wha…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/21 08:37 PM
1

And regardless of their ages, they're more perceptive/aware than maybe you give them credit for. They'll see you cooking and providing meals. Helping with the homework. Being their confidant. Getting them where they need to be. And they'll see the new Dad that is much more relaxed and fun to be around (making some assumptions here so bear with me). They'll likely see her taking them out for meals. Yeah, that'll prob score some superficial points that don't last. Look brother, you're here for the…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/21 08:33 PM
1

How old are the kids?
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/21 08:21 PM
3

This is correct. Also, if you have the kids this many nights, you're going to be viewed by them as the main parent I would think, and you're bond will only get stronger.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/21 06:21 PM
1

This is terrible advice. Do not stop paying the mortgage. That'll only lead to both of your credit profiles being f'd. Unless she will qualify on alimony and/or child support, then she'll definitely need a job first.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/21 05:51 PM
4

Keep the queen so you have room for your dog. If you don't have a dog, get one. 😉
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/21 03:11 AM
1

I don't know if my advice is 100% proper or not, but here goes: I would probably try to start with a (recorded) sit down conversation. Ideally in public at all times you are together. She can choose attorneys which will likely drain $50K+/- from you, or you can be civil and come to terms on your own, and have an attorney review/write up what you two have agreed on. If you've been on good terms with her parents, I'd likely text or call them and make it 100% clear that you have been faithful and t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/21 06:14 PM
1

Shit. So sorry for you, but you'll get through it. In addition to what everyone says here, I would definitely be nice/pleasant and I would record every single phone call (there's an app for that) assuming your state allows for recording legally as long as one party is aware. And I'd even have a recorder running when you are face to face. All it takes is for her to call the police and say you pushed her down and you go to jail. Best of luck to you, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/21 08:16 PM
1

As others have stated, we know little about your situation. But imo, peaceful is best. If lawyers get involved they will drain you both and you both lose. Then you live the next 17 years (at least) angry with each other which takes a toll on both of you mentally and physically. Just sit down and talk. See where it goes. You can work it out together or give $50K to attorneys. As hard as it is, either of you being pissed or attacking the other is a waste. The kids will lose. If the relationship is…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/21 02:16 PM
2

As soon as this is over she is officially alone. As she drags it out, it remains a thing. She still has you in an odd way. She's not going to be rational or of sound mind. If she's not financially inclined, then the $ doesn't matter and she can't see it. Sorry dude. Patience as best you can, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/21 03:24 AM
1

Ranting is one of the reasons we're here. Sounds absolutely miserable, and she absolutely crazy. Sorry you've had to deal with this. Brighter times ahead....
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/21 09:12 PM
5

She's scared and doesn't know it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/21 06:38 PM
4

They're not rational beings, especially in divorce. Stay the course, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/21 02:42 AM
16

Hey dude--First, close your eyes and breathe. You WILL get through this. You may not "win" financially, but you will be happy again. She likely won't. You may not "win" with custody, but I bet your kid(s) are more aware than you think. If you've been close to them all along, that likely won't change. You won't be susceptible to her for the next 25-50 years. You'll control your own happiness. Not someone else. You will rebuild day by day. If you fucked up, own it, and move on. If she's just a bat…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/20 03:45 PM
1

Since that's not guaranteed for 3 years, unfortunately it can't be used. Wish I could help further.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/20 08:18 PM
1

I'm in the biz. Do you pay spousal support? After that's received for 6 months it can be used as income for her.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/20 02:20 PM
1

I got your joke and it was quite funny given the circumstances. Hang in there, friend. This all sucks. I almost got divorced 2018/2019. I was where you were. We actually listed the house and were looking for two homes close together. Both lifestyles were going to take a huge hit. 3 kids 10-17. She finally woke up/came around and we're trying. It's not easy and it'll take a long time. Sounds like your wife, much like mine, didn't appreciate what she had and what I was providing, and that it was a…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/20 02:41 PM
4

This is common and not that expensive for a smallish life insurance. Also, you haven't mentioned if you have large investment/retirement accounts. Rented for 28 years or have a $400K house almost paid off? Lots of factors. But I agree prob $4Kish +/- $1K. CS until 18 and alimony for x years. Prob 5 minimum. Judge can prob factor in why you're divorcing. Did you have 15 affairs? Did she? Simply irreconcilable differences? etc etc. (not judging so don't misread me here, please)
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/20 06:52 PM
1

Fight this shit. Do not lay down. You will regret it. We have your back. Be strong now.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/20 02:56 AM
1

Dude. Keep being the stud that you are. Your kids deserve you. You deserve them. Do NOT give up. You will look back on this with pride. They will see her for who she is. Stay strong and be the man you've been. We've got you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/20 06:27 AM
3

Sounds like she's offering what she wants. That's not how this shit works though. Stay strong and fight for your boy. You can do this.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 07:13 PM
4

Got wood.
/r/MGTOW23/02/20 04:58 AM
2

Sorry to hear that man. And yeah, it's a shot to the stomach for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/20 08:56 PM
9

You're going to do great my man. Don't worry. A day at the time. She probably has someone else in the picture but don't even bother looking into it. It doesn't matter. Your divorce will be cleaner than most. Don't squabble over minor shit. Split it and get out. I'd prob try to get back to my hometown and around my friends so start the job search now. You got married really young and you have plenty of time to do it again should you choose to do so. I won't be going for take 2, but my first one w…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/20 11:55 PM
1

I think a lot depends on genetics. But for the general populace I think IF is the best option. Doesn't overly restrict your food but just the feeding window which makes it easier for most to stick to. Add in keto to a degree and occasional 24 hour fasts and you should reach your goal. And yes, the less sugar and refined carbs, the better your success will be, imo.
/r/MGTOW18/02/20 04:40 AM
7

Here's to you. Stay strong. Focus on yourself and more importantly kids if they're in the picture. You've got this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/20 04:07 AM
45

My guess is there's someone else. Seemingly good relationship and she refuses counseling and kids are involved doesn't add up. Hang in there and lean on this group. Many of us have/are dealing with the same stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/20 01:33 PM
8

Just like Vegas: only bet what you're comfortable losing...
/r/MGTOW10/02/20 04:46 AM
2

I have dogs that are siblings as well and wife and i are likely to separate. If I were in your position I think seeing them once a month would be harder on me than starting anew with one or two new dogs. Plus everytime you see the dogs you have to see the ex. I'm not disregarding your feelings. I completely understand as best one can. Hell, I like my dogs better than my kids some days! Hang in there and best of luck. I'm assuming yall can't share custody of them? Every other week or something?
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/20 06:48 PM
3

Awesome dude. Really like Van Gogh.
/r/MGTOW02/02/20 05:49 PM
2

How are you able to determine that she is entitled to half based on the information provided?
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/20 06:57 PM
1

You provided limited data but it sounds like you've been convinced you're a toxic male and it sounds like the opposite is true. And hell no you shouldn't move out. It's your house. She's free to leave if she wishes. The root of the problem is her. Not you. You've got brighter days ahead
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/20 05:50 PM
9

You use better English than, well, a lot of native speakers!
/r/MGTOW09/01/20 09:45 PM
7

You're young. You will recover. Sleep. Exercise. Eat right. This will help get your mind right. Things will get better 1 day or week at the time. Be patient and give it time. Post here. We've got you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 04:37 AM
2

Stay strong, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/20 01:32 PM
2

Don't disagree and for the whiners he said "many" and not "all". Happened to me too. Feel your pain, OP.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/20 03:31 AM
1

Your diet is healthier than most. Personally, and if your locale/budget/availability provides for it, I'd drop the bread, rice and (maybe) the banana and replace with meat. Meat and fat and absence of sugars (aka bread) should solve your memory issues plus others. Not saying this is the only way but after a lot of research, I whole heartedly believe it is the best way.
/r/MGTOW05/01/20 08:20 PM
4

This.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/20 03:50 AM
3

I get it. Pay for a house with a nice kitchen, nice dishes, and a dishwasher (that the kids unload-not her) and she buys paper plates. Boggles my mind...
/r/MGTOW18/12/19 01:43 AM
1

I'm hoping you're trolling. Have you been rebuffing her affection and signs of love? Just not understanding what she thinks the two of you will gain by her dropping it in your lap and basically assigning all the blame (and potential healing) to you and your shoulders. Doesn't sound like a 2 way street from over here... Was this the first time she has brought it up? And she won't attend counseling for the health of the 3 kids and yourselves? Doesn't add up....
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/19 08:26 PM
1

Fucking sexy.
/r/MGTOW13/12/19 03:00 AM
3

Stay in close contact with him, please. Did the wife just pull this out of her ass all of a sudden. 4 young kids isn't going to be easy for anyone involved.
/r/MGTOW13/12/19 02:52 AM
6

About to go through the same thing. But I'm 50 with 3 kids ages 10-16. It can be debilitating at times but I'm starting to see how things will be on the other side, and it's a pleasant picture. Don't see myself dating anytime soon, and prob never getting married again. Want to focus on my kids as long as I have them around, and focus on improving myself. One day at the time, brother--
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/19 04:59 PM
2

I, too, am in a similar situation. Married 20 years, I'm 50, she's 46, kids are 16, 14, and 10. Get along overall fine. Tried selling the house in fall and will relist in January. That will enable everything to move forward. But I question too if this makes sense since we actually get along better now than we have for several years. There was infidelity on her part a few years ago but it's in the past now afaik. I'm not even pissed off about that anymore. She acknowledges she is the one that cha…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/19 06:56 PM
1

Want some P funk?
/r/MGTOW18/11/19 07:42 PM
3

It's complete and utter bullshit. But it's the system we have now. Just don't repeat the same mistake. Most women are simply self centered and self serving. And your drinking hardly sounds like the problem. Hell, I want to share a bottle of wine with you and bake bread at 3 a.m. Take care of yourself!
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/19 10:43 PM
6

What caused this behavior to stop, do you think?
/r/MGTOW15/11/19 03:25 PM
1

Stay strong, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/19 03:52 AM
1

Prob watched the first 15 or 20 minutes. Based on what I saw, why would any male ever voluntarily get married there? Again, maybe I missed a major piece but... Yikes.
/r/MGTOW13/11/19 08:22 PM
2

I think girls will need to focus on career and their earning ability. I believe males are quickly realizing that marriage has much more downside to upside and if there is a large earnings gap, the male gets screwed if divorce occurs. I will encourage my boys to be looking for a career woman vs a SAHM (except for the first year or two). Other than having kids under the traditional umbrella, I don't see why people would marry, period. And remarrying? That's downright baffling, tbh.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/19 07:13 PM
1

Very sorry. You gave her a great life. Try to reflect on the positive... Stay strong. It will get a bit easier...
/r/MGTOW07/10/19 02:11 AM
8

Same.
/r/MGTOW27/09/19 03:23 AM
3

Read through that and also saw your comments. Hardly seems like a reason to ban you. And that dude needs to tell her to GTFO. If he thinks $400 a week is expensive, in 5 years it'll be $5K a month if he's lucky.
/r/MGTOW25/09/19 05:21 PM
4

I'm sorry. Been through it as well. Brutal. Remember all of the good times. You gave him a great life of happiness. Peace to you, brother.
/r/MGTOW10/09/19 12:03 PM
3

Close that chapter and start writing your new one, brother.
/r/MGTOW09/09/19 01:30 AM
1

Reminds me of this... https://www.theonion.com/you-and-me-and-baby-minus-me-makes-two-1819583984
/r/MGTOW29/08/19 04:25 PM
6

You're a wise dude. Thank you for your service to our country.
/r/MGTOW27/07/19 02:07 AM
3

Assuming she's not pregnant she did you a major favor. Count your blessings. I know it'll be tough to move on from this, but at least you have the opportunity to move on. Best of luck, brother. Better options await.
/r/MGTOW25/07/19 02:54 AM
4

Please tell him tomorrow. You may not grasp what it will mean to him. Leave the macho at the door and lay it out. It will likely change how he feels every day his feet hit the floor. And will likely draw you two closer. Just my .02.
/r/MGTOW25/07/19 02:45 AM
4

Just damn. Amazing.
/r/MGTOW23/07/19 03:44 AM
1

Congrats my man. Sounds like you have played your hand well. Good luck wrapping it up quickly and putting it behind you.
/r/MGTOW22/07/19 01:13 AM
3

Hopefully she would have chosen to utilize the spare bedroom.
/r/MGTOW17/07/19 06:50 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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