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dpi2024 Archive

View 0 posts and 114 comments by dpi2024 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

2 kids, the difference in incomes is very large
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 07:51 PM
10

Around $3800 in child support, no alimony (she cheated).
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 06:05 PM
5

Yes, of course. I think, what matters is (a) commonality and accessibility of echo chambers, this grew exponentially during the last 20 years, and (b) real life being in a known sense too easy. This in turn makes you a neurotic similar to the rise of allergies in a sanitized environment. Neurotization then drives one to reach out into the echo chamber when any miniscule difficulty arises in life. AI is an ultimate echo chamber in the sense that it is available 24/7.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 01:40 PM
6

Stored somewhere on old hard drives I never check. It's better to focus on present and future.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 12:48 PM
18

You got the order of operations wrong, we all do. First she met someone else, then she told you she was slowly pulling away for years', not the other way around. She stayed with you and agreed to marriage counceling just in case it does not work with her AP. It seems, it's working out. Sorry, man, just telling you how it is. There is mo way to save this relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 12:45 PM
8

My advice is this: it's over, accept it. Minimize all interactions with her and greyrock. Ideally, communicate through the parenting app. She cannot take away your kids really unless you really royally fucked up (they are not safe when with you for example), it will likely be a 50/50 custody arrangement. Take a forward-looking mindset: how do I build my life now from scratch? Think about the future, not the past. She did you a favor. If anything, get angry at her. Separating without divorce and …
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 12:35 PM
2

My theory is post-separation depression thing is to a large degree due to hormones misbehaving, too much estrogen, too much oxytocin ("but I love her do much!"). Fat tissue has a lot of estrogen receptors, muscles - obviously a lot of AR (receptors for testosterone). What one needs is to lower the number of the former and increase the number of the latter. From personal experience, changes come at around 14-15% body fat, you dont really need to get to 10. Once there, I was calm as a boa constric…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 11:30 AM
2

Connect with your body. Start lifting, running, do MMA or BJJ, maybe all of the above together. Do it every day, to the point of exhausting yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 11:02 AM
1

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 08:55 PM
7

Oh sweet Jesus... you sold your self-respect for 15k. I mean, seriously, the other dude was fucking your wife for 9 years and now he paid you 15 k for it? This is much, much lower than if he was going to a hooker for these 9 years. And you gladly took it. You just can't make this shit up.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 01:05 PM
5

Have an open honest discussion about it and consider making this a spicy part of your life. The poly/open marriage thing works for some. Oh boy, that would certainly solve his problem.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 07:48 PM
13

I am sorry you became a member of this shitty club... do not confront her, there is no point in that. She knows exactly what she is doing, what kind of choices she is making every day, what kind of lies she is telling you every day. Appealing to descency is futile. Pick me dance is futile as well. Have a consultation with an attorney without letting her know and do what the attorney says methodically step by step. Do not leave the marital home. Check for STDs (you say you are having active sexua…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 07:45 PM
3

Hey, it's absolutely forced. The reason why her family and friends push you is she asked them to push you. Be careful out there.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 02:13 PM
2

The real question is: why did you stay quiet and let her abuse your son?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 01:35 PM
3

No. Children do though, and I remind them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 06:30 PM
7

She will claim abandonment, which will result in a split of property, debt, custody strongly unfavorable to you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 11:43 PM
3

My hypothesis is that she left because she is not a match for you. Women often date up - for security, potential, status, to flex on their girlfriends. Then she suddenly finds out that she is simply not good enough, does not match you in any respect, gets desperate, and starts looking on the side. I wouldn't be surprised if she dates trash now - because she can relate to those people much easier than she ever could to you. TLDR: it can be easier to move on understanding that she is just not your…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 03:24 PM
4

😆 you know the answer, just looking for confirmation, don't you. Here you go buddy: confirming. There is a good book on this named 'Not just friends', strongly recommend.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 01:53 AM
5

Accept it, embrace it. I did it, and now solitude gives me ungodly amounts of peace and quiet, capability to recharge in the evening / night and then complete everything I planned for on the next day. The requirement though is that you should be interesting enough so that your srlf-talk is interesting. I think, one of the keys to creativity is unplugging from the rest of the world. It surely helps if you are an intravert.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 12:30 AM
3

We all say that until a really attractive woman starts to show interest in us No, pal, you are wrong. In my gym, I have two such very attractive women showing interest to me (and slight disdain to each other 🙂). I have no interest in pursuing either, not even for a hookup. They are understandably upset. One at some point even hissed in my direction 'Noone is good enough'. As soon as I think about emotional investment into a person who will likely drop you like a bad habit because that's what she…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 10:21 AM
2

Eh dude, my problem is where do you find time for that. Two businesses requiring attention 12 hours a day each, taking care of kids 30% of the time, this leaves what: 15 min a week for encounters like that? I guess, one way to approach this problem is to increase efficiency of getting them into submission, so that 'on your knees' stage is achieved in 10 min. Jokes aside, I don't think you have to feel guilty. After all, this is exactly what they want from you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 03:45 PM
4

All of the above is true but the real reason is deeper, I think. For the same reason why people jump from a job to a job every two or three years, rather than keep working for the same employer till retirement (as it used to be) - because of today's socioeconomic reality. Which is in turn determined by how quickly things change. It is now very hard to build anything with anyone long term. In order to do it, you need to assume some kind of long-term stability, security. Interests change, open pos…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 12:56 PM
4

What is it exactly that you are selling?
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 04:53 PM
2

You are getting angry, IMO that's good. Anger helped me immensely to detach from my ex. What you described is very familiar to me, all those points applied to her, too. As king Solomon said, everything passes, this too will pass. Your life is turning for the better.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 02:19 PM
8

Someone suddenly changes a personality - from a good, kind human being devoted to family to a vile cheater, a liar, a gaslighter. Which one among the two was the true personality core of this someone? I'd argue that it was always the latter because this someone naturally fell back into it under some minimal stress. Many women try to date up when they can, for security, stability, validation and envy from their girlfriends. However, it turns out that keeping yourself on par level with your spouse…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 05:11 PM
12

Dude, she cheated of course, all signs are there. The 'charade' is what's called gaslighting. You are being gaslighted. Please understand that she is just a vile broken human being without anything even remotely looking like honor and capability of commitment. This will help you to move on. My suggestion is to focus on your kids, rebuild your own life and wait, wait to get into a new relationship until you are at least a bit healed and rebuilt. Regarding her, really a very little contact is need…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 04:01 PM
1

The proverbial dick of American justice system. You are not denigrating anyone, you are not mentioning anything to the kids. It's 99.5% probability that the AP will break up with the ex within 6 months (as it was in my case), so what is even the point of introducing him to the kids?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 01:23 PM
10

Right. A man should stoically take it in the ass and say thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 01:17 PM
1

Setting up boundaries does introduce toxicity in a co-parenting process, because the other party does not appreciate said boundaries. Being a doormat on the other hand does not introduce any toxicity in a co-parenting process. It is just that kids do not respect you anyhow after 10 years because 'dad was a pushover' and simultaneously hate your ex. Regarding a possibility of legal enforcing, a well written cease and desist letter can accomplish a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 01:08 PM
9

No, you did not make a right decision.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 02:54 PM
0

One party consent does not apply here. In order for it to be applicable, she needs to have a conversation with you, either face to face or personal or electronic. In that case, she may be a 1 consent party - to provide consent of 1 person, herself, to record the conversation. Blank recording, 24/7, without said conversation taking place is unlawful, I'd go to police. Upd: I am wrong. Video without audio is allowed.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 12:51 PM
5

I honestly think a lot of it is sex. I don't please her like she wants to be pleased. I had no idea how experienced she was until she cheated on me a few years ago. I saw videos and she wants what I don't think I can give her. Dude, this is the lowest of the low. Get some self-respect.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 11:19 AM
2

Good luck! Where does she get money to pay for her lawyers? Her bill should be much higher than yours.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 05:27 PM
3

It seems to me that your lawyer is close to useless, him totally incentived to drag it for as long as possible does not help either. IMO it makes sense to find another, better one (think a shark) or go it alone.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 04:36 PM
3

The guy above is right. You leaving the flat you own will be considered abandonment by the court. You will likely get less than 50% custody because of that, amount of child support will considerably increase, you will possibly lose some equity in your flat. What you write is largely about feelings. To go through this, you need to be cold, calculated and rational. Yes, she is a monkey branching cheater, admit it and move on ignoring her interests from now on and focusing on your own and your kid'…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 03:06 PM
2

These types of women try to date up for security and provision, when they are still young. They at first think that they are fully entitled to both. Later, they figure out that in fact they are not nearly as good as their partners, do not match their partners in any respect, and they stoop back to the level they feel they belong. If her APs are trailer park trash, then she considers herself a trailer park trash. All of this is really for the best.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 03:14 PM
4

Teachers and nurses are two professions with the highest proclivity to cheating ever. Trust me when I say that they can find time and place. Restrooms, Cars, classrooms, ... during a lunch break, during preparation hours. You can read stories at r/survivinginfidelity for your education, search 'teachers'. P.S. you say you share locations. If it happens, it happens at school with a colleague.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 10:50 PM
13

If I were you, I would explore a possibility that there is some other man in the picture.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 10:21 PM
1

She asked for 70/30 (every Wed, every other weekend), and I ultimately agreed after a lot of back and forth. The real reason is that she would not be able her ends meet otherwise. She was SAHM for 17 years. The amount of CS I am currently paying her is by about 30% higher than her other monthly income (salary etc). With 50/50, CS would be a bit more than half of current one. This of course would be reflected on kids and their life.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 05:52 PM
2

My mental health took a big toll trying to make it work and she ended up being cluster b Really sorry about it, mine was too (BPD, self-dagnosed by her, she admitted it - as if admission would change anything in her behavior). Living with her violent mood swings took quite a tall on me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 10:25 PM
1

My guess is that you first need to discuss it with an attorney, figure out your leverage and make her sign the paper. Lenders typically don't care who owns what and will just send it to collections.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:57 PM
1

Sure, makes sense. Will she sign it? Do you have a leverage to make her sign it if not?
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:49 PM
5

Because my name is on the loan. I am sorry to say it but it's your debt then for all legal intents and purposes.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:44 PM
2

I believe marriage is a one time thing so I feel like she wasted my time, my opportunity, and did my kids a huge disservice Same here. I now think everyone has realistically one shot per lifetime at it. You can remarry of course but you will never buy your first house with your second wife, never have your firstborn with her, in fact many, many critical experiences in life will no longer be available. It's a difference between buying a brand new Porsche and a used Toyota Corolla with 100k miles …
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:40 PM
3

Well, you at least got a kid out of it 🙂 some of us here - not even that, just losses across the board. I do hear you though, there are plenty of those on the market
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 05:08 PM
22

There are very, very few women who are interested in building a true family, a legacy, an empire with you. 99.9% of them are only interested to join a framework already built and use it to her advantage. An iron-clad prenup is a must followed by postnups every few years. Women not interested in making babies with you should be completely avoided.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 04:18 PM
11

Babe, noone here is going to click on your onlyfans link, however you try to engage with us.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 02:02 AM
1

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 06:32 PM
7

Converting to at fault might get you more assets in divorce but will also run your bill up. Do an accurate cost-benefit analysis, and if it's worth it, go for it. If not, it's unclear what you are paying for, indeed better to spend this money on yourself. She is trash, not worth your time or thought.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 12:53 PM
3

The stage 'I am angry all the time' ended about 2 years after divorce. Ungodly amounts of Tinder dates helped a lot with this. The stage 'I am angry from time to time' still goes on, 4 years after divorce. Since my ex cheated and I still must interact with her due to coparenting, I am not sure that this stage will end before both kids will be out to college and I cut her out from my life completely. 3-4 years to go, hopefully towards complete healing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 01:06 PM
2

You were betrayed, cheated on. It is up to you to determine the time scale of your recovery, not up to her, the one who betrayed you. The only way this could work is that she completely taking accountability, throwing herself at you 24/7, giving you as much time as you need to recover from betrayal. This might take and in many cases takes years. Instead you get requests from her to recover ASAP or she will leave? Dude, let her leave.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 04:58 PM
2

What harm? This is stupid. The harm from a second chance is very real. You will be in more pain than you are now once she betrays your trust again. You will be demasculated more than you are now. You will regret wasting time and emotional energy on your effort. You will keep diminishing yourself, calling yourself stupid for trusting you cheater 'first time - it's on you, second time - it's on me'. And make no mistake - in the majority of cases there will be a second time, cause she normalized ch…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 04:53 PM
13

Emotionally complacent husbands are the ones to whom their single or divorced friends tell 'stop being a doormat, grow some balls and leave already'. Specific example: you come after a 12 hour shift, your SAHW asks you 'hey asshole, I did all laundry today, go and fucking fold it now, so that you actually contribute something to our home'. After you say 'yes honey' and fold it, she starts screaming 'why the fuck are black socks in the white sock drawer'. You say 'sorry honey' and fix your mistak…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 03:32 AM
1

I see, it makes much more sense now for me because you are starting again from ground zero. Fortunately or unfortunately, thats not the case for me. None of my prenup discussions led to anything other than a relationship going belly up. Did they dump half of your second ex's debt on you in divorce? So sorry you had this experience if so.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 04:56 PM
2

Did you discuss the issue of prenup with her?
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 04:25 PM
3

You were blind to your first ex's cheating (sounds familiar - I was blind to my ex's cheating too). You were blind to your second ex's spending sprees. What do you think you are blind to now? Are you absolutely sure you see the whole picture? It's not unheard of when a woman changes drastically after marriage (because now government backs her up?). Are you certain (and why are you certain) you are not being presented with a demo version rather than an actual thing you will face when married? Mos…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 03:59 PM
11

Well bud, here is a bit of counter propaganda... emotional intelligence and all, probability for your first divorce is 50%, for the second divorce - 65%, and for the third divorce - 75%. Anyhow, it does not go down with age, time, emotional intelligence etc. etc. As they say, the definition of insanity is keeping doing the same thing expecting a different outcome. I wish you the best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 03:39 PM
10

There is no point of getting to jail and losing custody of your kids for assaulting this PoS. But... in this modern day and age, adults fight using lawyers, just saying.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 11:34 PM
6

So, she fucks the other guy, comes back, and you start 'having sex in the mornings'? Rinse and repeat 3-4 times? I don't know what to tell you, man. How many more iterations would you like to go through? Call it polyamory already and be done with it. Maybe eventually you will acquire a cuckold fetish.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 02:50 PM
2

Normal smart, experienced woman who knows how to work the crowd and her man (better than any man does with maybe a exception of some politicians). You really know everything to make a decision by yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 01:17 PM
8

You absoutely should, as ruthlessly as you can. Get an accountant and ask lawyer to file for subpoena her financial institutions in discovery.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 01:13 PM
4

Eh, 'what are we' talks are by themselves a push for marriage. I am pretty skeptical but you do you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:59 PM
6

You know her for 5 months only. At this age, a woman can easily play nice for 5 months. I'd say - at 5 months, it is impossible to truly know her. The very fact that she pushes for marriage after 5 months is a huge red flag.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:48 PM
5

In many states, two year long cohabitation is equivalent in all respects to governmental marriage in the case of divorce. OP would need to consult lawyers regarding local state laws.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:46 PM
4

At 56, you have seen and are seeing everything, likely better than us. You are well aware of how it will all play out. The two of you are not compatible. You also certainly know that the probability of the first divorce is 50%, 2nd - 65% and 3rd - 75%. How will you take it when she decides to divorce and take you for cleaners at your 60s? Do you trust yourself fully re:picking women, that she will never cheat on you? Also, keep in mind that bait and switch after marriage is more common than rare…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:43 PM
1

It really is up to you whether you allow these happy new years from her or not. Just push the 'block' button, on your messaging app (better yet, change your phone number), , Facebook, Instagram yadayada.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 10:24 PM
6

Dude. Way more important than everything else is that you need to learn how to use condoms.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 12:46 AM
2

It is most definitely real. Not allowed to talk after 6 pm? Who are you, a teen?
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 09:57 PM
3

that I'll still be allowed to visit them but it will be against the rules for me to talk to them after 6 pm. Oh really. I sense a lot of disrespect here if not an outright despise 😆 get yourself ready, this is just a first one in the long sequence of future ultimatums.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 09:54 PM
3

Got it. She knows you don't like him but she does not understand why. I realize my advice will be seen as controversial by many but I would try to convey the info to her in an age-appropriate way. For example, 'your mom made a choice that hurt our relationship. That choice involved the father of your friend'. Kids are smart and can connect the dots. Then, regarding the party, you can just ask her what does she want you to do and do what she suggests. She needs to know that you are her support sy…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 06:23 PM
2

The longer you wait to divorce, the more expensive it becomes. Just think about material side instead of emotional one. Are you already on the hook for lifetime alimony?
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 06:06 PM
11

Why are you even talking to her? Just save yourself the trouble and block her everywhere. Providing her emotional support is no longer your responsibility.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 06:03 PM
1

Does you daughter know / how old is she?
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 06:01 PM
1

Yes, forgot to mention him. 'Stay healthy, stay single' 😉
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 03:52 PM
6

It's a good idea and a possibility to make a lot of money given how many divorced men cheated on and subsequently fucked in court are out there. My guess is that YT demonitizes channels pwhich would push it (it certainly demonitizes manosphere, toxic or non-toxic), so you will have to make money some other way than wirh AdSense. Say, by bringing your viewers into your practice.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 03:10 AM
9

I wish there were some male 'divorce coaches' or psychotherapists who would publicly call it for what it is. There are none to find though with the exception of maybe Orion Taraban, who was never married/divorced and who is mild and soft, too mild and too soft. Idk what is the reason for this because there clearly is a market.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 03:03 AM
4

She was never ever the woman you think she was. Capability to betray, to deceive, to quietly despise you while enjoying what you bring to the table (this is what let her do the ghosting thing) was always there. Its just that you were in love and preferred not to see it. We can't control their inner lives, make them feel the way we want or make them strive to get better. We can only be responsible for our own inner lives. So fuck her, really.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 08:44 PM
6

She does not care what you go through and will use you until she feels comfortable enough to cut you off. That is so common that, I believe, it's correct. You are better than her though. You carry your heart on your sleeve. You are always there for people you love. Think of it as if when you helped her out, you did it for yourself rather than for her, for your own integrity, for your soul if you wish. Now you don't owe her anything, all debts are paid, you are a free man who will be living a fre…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 08:30 PM
8

I dated for two years post divorce, and sex wise it has been a blast. My ultimate conclusion though is that dating market is a swamp. I am no longer dating. I'll never marry again. Single women of my age are all damaged, with such baggage that their granmas would have a stroke if they knew. Besides, I am not interested in raising someone else's children. 'Single' women younger than my age are pretty much all entitled brats with main character syndrome, multiple situationships, fwb, polyamory or …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 06:42 PM
13

It doesn't help the situation that she is currently talking with her ex boyfriend. This is not a side effect. This is the reason why you got the 'love you but not in love with you'. My guess is that it's way beyond just talking. She will likely try to string you along for a while if she is not sure it will work out with her affair partner. Get angry. There is nothing to save here, it has all been gone for a while already.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 06:30 PM
2

The loneliness has mostly turned to solitude. I’ve learned the difference. Well said. Same here. Just sheer amount of free energy not being spent on dating or any other mindfucking is astonishing. For me, it’s been sheer discipline, structure, and finding/creating the positive outlets that work best for me. And even with all that, there are still tough days and still tougher ones to come. You got it brother.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 12:05 AM
11

'I still love you but I am not in love with you anymore' talk typically means that there is someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 03:03 AM
5

Ordered by cheater's 'opsec' complexity: a contact named 'Lucy, best friend' but in a conversation it looks like that Lucy is a guy. Different messaging app than the one she usually uses, the app is hidden from the list of most used apps.. A burner/second phone. Etc. Etc. There are levels upon levels in this rabbit hole. Just dig deeper.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 04:54 PM
3

I’m happy that she’s happy but I’m also not. Don't be. You were given a new chance at life, a clean slate. You get a chance again to be whoever and whatever you want to be. Absolute freedom modulo of course CS and the housing problem, which you will solve successfully cause you are no longer carrying this dead weight on your back. You will know that you've healed when you won't be giving a fuck about her happiness or unhappiness. And for God's sake, no sex with her. You need sex - go to a bar in…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 01:35 PM
3

I am here with you on this. I did get laid quite a bit for a couple of years after divorce but kinda could not take it anymore during the year #3 😆: too much energy, money, drama and stupidity which I anyhow no longer have patience for.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 06:03 PM
3

It does look like sacrasm now that you edited it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 05:48 PM
-3

I think, I am yet to meet a lawyer who offers free services in divorce, let alone hops on intercontinental plane to deliver these free services. How is he going to continue make money? What about the next guy who can legitimately say - you offered free services to that guy from Albania, hopped on a plane for him, why are you charging me 1k per hour?
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 12:46 PM
3

Amateur astronomy, kinda wanted to do it all my life and finally let it happen
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 12:23 PM
3

Emails. Texts can be deleted while it's very easy for you to forward her email to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:29 AM
7

14 months... you really are a patient man and gave it all you got. It's going to be at the very least OK, more likely - much better than it used to be. You were given a chance for a second life, don't blow it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 01:41 AM
5

Dude, change your number. Give it to only people you want to hear from. Interact with her by email only, so that everything is always documented. Circle the wagons, you need to protect your well-being proactively.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 05:48 PM
3

It never is. However, what I found is that objective reality likes when you make sacrifices and rewards you for it. Such as: you go to the gym at 5 am and have a brutal training session for 2.5 hours. Every part of your body is in great pain after for the rest of the day. But in a 2 month time it pays up big time. Leaving a cheater is something like that, too. Think of it as a chance to finally build your life the way you want it. So that you now can bring better in your kids and people who ente…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 04:48 PM
8

Sure, man. When she gets to fuck AP #3, this will bring up even more better in you, and your life will become even more beautiful than it is now, definitely much better than when you were single. In addition, some say that c.ckold lifestyle is a bliss, so i suggest you try to watch them having sex. In all seriousness now, get some semblance of self-respect. If you cannot do that, get mad at least.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 04:37 PM
18

What she is trying to say is "it's all good now, what affair? Why does it have anything to do with what's now? Who cares about affairs anyway? Just live how I lived, and you will have an affair, too, it's totally normal and common nowadays anyway" Do not let her lower the value of what you experienced and felt. P.S. I never met AP. Once we divorced, he dumped her within a couple of months; few months after that, she got herself another guy. We had a chance to meet once but for some reason he was…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 01:55 AM
2

It's a kind of a thing which is the more you wait, the more painful is the outcome, for you and for him. Re: your relationship with him, does it really matter all that much? All of this is not his fault. It's all on her.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 10:28 PM
3

Why don't you just do the paternity test? Otherwise, how exactly are you planning to push this during the hearing, call your friend to testify?
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 10:19 PM
8

Where are you located? If in US/Canada, you are likely looking at lifetime alimony and half of your savings including retirement lost to her in divorce. You will need to sell the house or buy her out (since, I take it, she won't have enough money to buy you out). Your kid will have to move out obviously if you sell the house, which is probably for the best. Given all that, I would still go for it. Getting old in grace and quiet is still better than living next to her.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 07:32 PM
4

'The thoughts of getting to meet women'. I suggest you ignore those thoughts for a year or two. What is more important is to learn to live with yourself in peace, be content with yourself, all your drawbacks and advantages as a person. As you said, you were practically never alone, so this is the toughest part. What drives you in life besides being in a relationship? What do you like to do in your free time, for yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 03:30 AM
1

No, likely made it easier.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 11:40 AM
2

48.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 10:41 PM
4

It's not too hard, the issue is the strata you will be dating. If you think you'll be dating single childless 25 y olds or divorced senior VPs of research with a house paid off, think again.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 09:19 PM
19

I bet, her ex will be on that girl trip too.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 12:51 PM
4

I was married for 17 years, not quite as long as you were, we travelled all over Europe before kids, two kids: 14 and 16. I did not delete the photos, it's just there wasn't a single time during last 3 years post divorce when I opened them. My advice to you is to cut the cord ASAP, starting with deleting the wallpaper photo on your phone.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 04:08 PM
1

Idk. Do you have kids with the new person each time? Do your kids from the first relationship have to deal with 4 different step-mothers?
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 05:56 PM
4

IMO a woman should be breathtakingly stupid to say something like that to you randomly, out of the blue, cause women are 10 times socially smarter than men. So, she should be 10 times more stupid than your stupid man to say something like this. If she is not that stupid, she is doing it on purpose, trying to get into your head, manipulate your self-esteem. Being evil or being stupid - both alternatives are pretty bad.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 05:46 PM
5

'My wife demanded so much time and attention that I did not have time to see my friends'. IMO, on average about 7 men are needed to compensate effects of one woman on your psycho. Now you know better. Never sacrifice relationship with your friends for the sake of your woman. When kids come, those relationships with friends become even more important.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 02:57 PM
2

You have no idea
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 03:34 PM
7

Same here. Dated after divorce quite a bit, no longer dating now and have no desire to date, for the last two years, throroughly enjoying life with my kids, traveling internationally etc. Just wear the pride of being single as a badge of honor, my friend, and if anyone is uncomfortable with you being single - f.ck them (figuratively, not literally).
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 03:27 PM
3

It's impossible to win in this situation. Your house - your rules, her house - her rules, which you have very little control over, if at all. Yes, she is sanctimonious, hypocritical. Or maybe she is trying to atone, I don't know.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 10:48 PM
4

Thanks, very well said.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 02:23 PM
4

It's a rage bait, I swear to God. And it's fucking working well, on me 😆
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 09:00 PM
6

No, no way back from resentment. You chose a wrong partner, thought you will be able to change her. Sunk cost fallacy does not allow you to let go.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 03:29 PM
3

Indeed. I think, the concept of a really long-term relationship is gone from our lives for good. Whatever the reason (social networks, life got too safe and easy for weak women and men to survive etc.) - it's now just an objective reality. In the future, there won't be a marriage till death takes us apart, ever, and we have to adjust. I just cannot understand how can one make and raise kids in this setup, so that they are not traumatized for life slash broken.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 02:57 PM
6

Her parents were wonderful human beings, deeply in love with each other and loving their only daughter. Little did I know that they dumped her on their widow grandmother for the first decade of her life, while both of them enjoying life and building careers. As a result, severe attachment issues, BPD, constant drama and abuse. Which naturally only showed up after marriage, with the exception of two episodes before, which I chose to ignore ("I can fix her"). 17 years and 2 kids later it all came …
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 06:11 PM
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