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dukeofthefoothills1 Archive

View 2 posts and 329 comments by dukeofthefoothills1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
16

Dealing with the Ex / STBXdukeofthefoothills1/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 10:31 PM
0

dukeofthefoothills1/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 09:44 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Nope
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 02:21 AM
2

Mine still has a nice ass, but I want nothing to do with her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 10:14 PM
3

Best of luck to you. Hard work = success.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 10:15 PM
5

Women have nothing to do with it. If you want to be successful, you need to do the work. That could include getting a high ROI degree (engineering, medicine, law, etc.), learning a trade, or starting your own small business. Going into debt to obtain a low ROI degree would not be advisable.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 05:06 PM
9

Thanks, mom! You’re a good one!!!
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 11:22 PM
6

Hoes gonna hoe.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 01:12 AM
5

No more relationships for me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 12:04 AM
10

There is no longer a person in my face who is constantly angry and difficult. There is peace. There is silence. Going out to eat used to be an ordeal. The debate was excruciating. Now I get in the car before I’ve even decided where I’m going. No debates; no negotiation. She didn’t like when I made a large meal with leftovers. Now I can make a huge portion and eat on it all week long if I want. I really miss my Japanese automated bidet toilet and rain shower. I don’t miss her at all! I’m paying 5…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 11:20 PM
1

33%
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 11:10 PM
16

If the trash takes itself out, don’t run to the curb to bring the stinking filth back.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 06:13 PM
5

No.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 03:34 AM
2

This!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 09:49 PM
14

“Breaking free”: getting paid like she is still married and fucking around like she isn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 09:47 PM
2

Mine literally told me shortly after telling me we were getting divorced, “I want to have my cake and eat it too.” After the divorce is over and she’s claimed her $1.6M in cash and prizes, she’s surprised I don’t want anything to do with her. “No more cake for you…”
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 12:11 AM
3

So great when the trash takes itself out!
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 08:30 AM
6

She always needed to be the boss. At some point I figured it was futile and just focused on work. Made a few million. She got to where she was golfing all the time. Then she cashed out with a divorce. Said she wanted to “have her cake and eat it too”. Is some of the fault mine? Sure! More than half? Not in my opinion. Out three adult children upon learning she was divorcing me— “oh; you’re going to be a lot happier”.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 09:20 PM
5

I informed my boss (company President) soon after ex told me we’re getting divorced. I said I might get a little distracted for a bit. Boss was very supportive. I never let it negatively impact my work. I was happy to have work as a distraction.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 08:02 PM
2

Good reason to stay single. I don’t need competition in my personal life. I have plenty in my business life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 06:49 PM
4

That sounds wonderful!
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 08:42 PM
1

Check out free https://www.divorcecare.org
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 09:38 PM
3

Just a few years before the divorce. College age kids. One has a friend over and we spend a lot of time taking with him. After he leaves my youngest daughter (maybe Sr in HS) is all upset. She is so nice to him as a visitor, but treats us like crap behind closed doors.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 02:00 PM
7

Oh man this is 100% on target. I went through that tunnel 2 yrs ago. Was married 35 years. Never great, but I was committed.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 08:38 PM
11

Peaceful, boring, improved.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 07:05 AM
8

What’s gone is gone, sir. Lost about $1.5M in the divorce two years ago, basically half of what I had earned and invested for retirement over more than 35 years. I subsequently took more investment risk and made half of that back. I can throttle back on the investments now. I have a high income. I’m no longer a homeowner, and don’t plan to be. I put three kids through college debt free, and they all have good jobs. You will emerge out the other end of this tunnel, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 03:03 AM
8

Trash takes itself out.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 06:43 PM
7

My ex her precious time capsule of anything and everything I did, whether real or perceived. She loved digging it up and unpacking it in front of me over and over. It was her buried treasure; the ability to have no percent of accountability for what our marriage had become, and no responsibility for ultimately destroying our future.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 02:02 PM
7

Aaah, the modern woman…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 07:56 PM
5

I’d be better off with the $1.5M in my pocket.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 05:01 AM
1

100% final. Oh yeah, I remember that one…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 07:58 AM
2

No- exactly the opposite.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 08:26 AM
11

We know how it feels, brother. Don’t take a permanent solution for a temporary problem.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 10:30 PM
2

🎯
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 11:35 AM
1

🎯
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 11:22 AM
10

In many instances, they don’t even need to be above average for this to be the case. They know how “special” they are. They know what they “deserve”. Not all women are capable of long term commitment and loyalty. They need the next shiny thing. Unfortunately, it’s too difficult to for men to discern for any particular woman. Choose wrong and it could cost you millions. For this reason, I’m out.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 03:54 PM
1

🎯
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 06:39 PM
10

I’m not about to take a ride at that amusement park again. It would need to be a truly extraordinary woman. For all other intents and purposes and purposes, I’m out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 06:39 PM
2

Some women feel uncomfortable without turmoil and drama. It was challenging for me to adjust to peace after all of that.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 02:18 AM
2

Best to join a support group with others going through the same
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 11:56 PM
1

Correct - only mother and daughters
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 09:52 PM
17

Mine divorced me after 35 years. Pretty sure she planned it for at least 15 of those.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:48 AM
3

Yes, but I didn’t act upon it. That’s what got me into the first marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 10:56 PM
3

Had CA King. Now have Queen. Condo is much less spacious than my big house.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 10:29 PM
1

Disagree
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 01:38 AM
12

This. I won’t rummage through the bargain bin, so I’m out. Others may see a higher cost/benefit ratio and be willing to put in the effort required to find a needle in the haystack. Vet very carefully guys.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 09:54 PM
30

Flat > Fake
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 11:30 PM
8

We had done counseling several times during our 35 year marriage. Fundamentally we were never on the same page with life goals, etc. I provided the life she said would make her happy, but she wasn’t. The fact that I sacrificed and achieved neither a happy wife nor her respect and appreciation in return caused me to devalue the “relationship”. She became even more angry and controlling. At the end of the day, she never loved me. She loved the idea of what I provided. She told me she needed to div…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 05:55 AM
6

I was 100% confident before and during the wedding. Not very confident 30 days later. Didn’t realize she intended to be my boss. Suffered for 35 years.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 01:46 AM
1

My rent is 1.5x my old mortgage but I have way more going into savings and investments every month.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 01:07 PM
11

Don’t know; don’t care…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 08:23 PM
20

I told my boss to refer all the difficult customers to me, as I was starting to miss the nonstop conflict.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 01:36 AM
5

Kids l, health, and stacking money. This is the way!!
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 06:51 PM
3

That’s just your anger talking. I’m two years out and have clarity. I’m not getting into a relationship again.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 10:55 PM
3

What occurs on her side of the road is no longer any concern of yours. Other than ensuring children are raised properly, if you have them, ignore her completely.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 09:36 PM
4

I have two ex sister in laws. One is cool, and the other is not. I engage as per my preferences, regardless of theirs. Hoping to visit the cool one in the near future.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 09:21 PM
1

Apparently, marriage was also business. We just didn’t realize so.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 09:19 PM
6

They go to the bathroom together, and they jettison their reasonably good men together.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 09:15 PM
6

35 years married, followed by the same. Said she wanted to have her cake and eat it too. I’m out.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 09:37 PM
2

Three adults. Empty nest.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 05:18 PM
6

I’ve never heard of this meme.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 02:01 AM
9

When your son gets older, he will recognize and appreciate the sacrifice you have made prioritizing him.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 10:26 PM
12

If your father were here he would tell you he is happy that you found out quickly and will be able to move forward with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 10:30 PM
8

My ex kept listening to a song with the lyrics “you left me”. She was the one who left me. The projection is amazing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 08:20 PM
6

I live in CA and received a gray divorce after 35 years. I don’t date here; I’m not a gambler. Most of my friends are here, so I’m reluctant to move to another state or country. Catch-22.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 07:51 PM
14

My wife jumped right on the cock carousel as well. Went to disgusting dive bars all the time. Glad I don’t have to deal with her anymore. After two years, I almost never think of her.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 12:17 AM
1

Im good friends with a stay at home dad. He raised an autistic son plus another son through public school and college. His wife has a high level corporate accounting job. He also did marketing work as a stay at home dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 12:09 AM
4

Yes; you are crazy to feel bad for an intended murderer.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 08:55 PM
–

That’s your truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 07:58 PM
5

Shhh… don’t tell anybody! We well dressed mids don’t want other guys infringing on our game. As to why, it’s a combination of laziness, and that people seriously think you might be gay if you dress too well. 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 07:53 PM
13

They want their cake and eating it too. You’re still paying the bills while she f****s around.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 09:22 AM
0

Wow; a woman who admires men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 12:32 AM
7

It started with “sex and the city”. Now being a hoe in the city is glamorized. The trash has taken itself out. Don’t stare into trash cans full of rotting garbage. Move on and do the next right thing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 11:17 PM
4

I mean, it can be… I have three amazing adult children (Boy, girl, girl). My oldest is married to a wonderful woman. Eyes open- vet very carefully. Recognize that they will change. Realize that they may or may not hold their moral compass. Understand that the government will bend you over if that happens. I was young and just blew through all the red flags. At my age, the risk/reward ratio is a clear negative to be in any relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 09:57 PM
15

Lost my house and retirement investments totaling more than $1.5M. I was an avid retirement saver/investor and had already funded three kids through college. Not financially ruined, but the fancy international travel I had anticipated at this time is off the table. Feels like bait and switch working hard and having the rug pulled out from under you. When married, any money I didn’t put into the 401k, etc. got spent. My rent is 1.5x my old mortgage, but I’m no longer paying for a house cleaner, g…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 09:11 PM
0

Yes. I’m a well earning VP driving a 2012 vehicle so I can invest more. I not dating, so I can invest even more. No ladies chasing me; they probably think I have a crap job.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:05 PM
2

Here’s the episode https://youtu.be/k224gY7Tn-Y?si=eHD7IyNfzJ9cuqpu
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 08:55 PM
2

100% true; you make some really good points. People who don’t realize or think about the odds of winning the lottery are more likely to play, thus have a shot at winning. I estimate the odds of divorce plus the odds of remaining unhappily married sum up to around 2/3. The remaining 1/3 win the prize. I got three great adult children before losing half of my net worth. Worth the years of pain for me. Your mileage may vary. Choose wisely my friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 08:40 PM
16

Before we separated. I have no feelings for her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 06:18 PM
–

Married 35 years. Community property state. She gets more than 50% of the net worth so I avoid paying her the rest of my days. The house is very important to her. She took the house plus investments. I took a larger share of the investments.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 03:40 AM
14

The original purpose of a diamond wedding ring was as insurance for the woman. In the case of the man’s death, she had a valuable asset she could sell.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 01:38 AM
3

My ex wife loved that I traveled for business, mostly because she didn’t like me. The one exception was when I was at a trade show while there were wildfires close to home, and the neighborhood got evacuated. Since she divorced me, she has the big house all to herself and the guys she f***s, as well as more than half of our net worth. So I’d say it worked out pretty well for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 08:24 PM
5

This.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 06:18 PM
2

If I can avoid losing > $1.5M in a divorce again, I’d have to say yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 12:11 AM
2

I like the way you think!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 11:08 PM
10

I’m glad it was worth it for you. For most men, having the same amount of money growing in a S&P 500 index ETF would be much more greatly valued.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:28 PM
2

“While you love them for who they are” - is incorrect.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 08:00 AM
–

This is why marriage used to be “until death do us part”. Once married it was your job to take care of the other person and vice versa, rather than chasing your own happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 09:54 PM
10

This illustrates that women are innately valued, while men are not at the current time. I’m old fashioned, but sex outside of a relationship that is at least headed toward marriage is disgusting to me, for both men and women. Downvote away.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 02:00 AM
0

Alternate take: People are genetically programmed to have specific preferences. These have always existed but were considered gauche to talk about - to the point that the people themselves didn’t even realize they had these preferences. The internet has a performative nature to it. One would expect people to try MORE to appear “good” with respect to societal norms. Yet, what we see is often actually the opposite. Earlier societies didn’t expect one’s life partner to be their everything. More cam…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 12:38 AM
1

Divorced 60M. I don’t want to be in any relationship. I would like to have platonic friendships with women that are not “relationships”. I’d appreciate the perspective. Unfortunately, the only women I’m friends with are part of married couples I’m friends with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 11:16 PM
12

You are a kind, loyal man. She is nothing of the kind. Better to find out now than later.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 08:41 PM
4

Don’t be sloppy seconds bro.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 06:39 PM
12

Choosing a restaurant used to be a big debate. I suggested taking turns picking; she didn’t like that either. Now I sometimes jump in the car without even knowing where I’m going. I end up wherever I feel like. YES!
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 01:25 AM
11

Setting aside the politics… This is the way. I’m now a f*ing fortress. Now do the next right thing, men.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 06:42 PM
4

Setting aside: online (low risk) someone you already know well (low threshold) once in a lifetime “I’m gonna roll the dice on this thoroughbred of a man” (extremely high potential reward) … do most women actually approach men or just “drop their handkerchief and see if he notices and responds”?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 06:38 PM
3

Both can be attractive. I was originally attracted to my wife (now ex wife) because she was confident. Turns out she was arrogant and controlling. Oof.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 03:30 PM
1

I think you’re onto something. Online echo chambers. Cultivated outrage to increase engagement. In real life, boring AF conformists to the urban monoculture.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 08:38 PM
3

So sorry, bro. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 08:22 PM
2

My father was a tyrant. Everything had to be his way. I'm an only child. I was the first to graduate college in my extended tamily. I got a degree in electrical engineering; only 1/3 of us completed the degree. Upon graduation, my father didn't congratulate me; he told me he hoped I realized I could never come home. I did not. I married a woman much like my father. Everything had to be her way. After numerous endless arguments I realized it was pointless, so I focused on my career, climbing she …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 01:10 AM
10

I don’t think she cheated but.. she did.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 10:07 PM
6

Yeah so true
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 07:07 PM
8

OP gets it!!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 04:31 AM
1

✌️☮️✌️
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 07:40 PM
8

You’ve left the circus. Now go find your own rodeo. OP rides off into the sunset…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 07:37 PM
5

Surprising that this is your experience.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 07:44 PM
11

Grow a pair and prioritize your son’s safety. Talk to your lawyer and report her now.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 06:15 PM
7

Seems your mindset consists of speculating about others’ motivations. Hmmm…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 05:49 PM
19

I respectfully disagree. “He doesn’t meet my emotional needs” = I’m bored and want to spin the wheel for another option or multiple options.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 05:47 PM
3

“Retrospective bias” -yup.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 04:25 PM
22

God bless your daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 04:19 PM
16

Focused on self, OK… They’re focused on riding the cock carousel.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 04:17 PM
4

DivorceCare.org
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 10:59 PM
7

Bitch is trying to compete with her own daughter. Daughter should be focusing on the kid instead. WTF
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 07:42 PM
5

Me too.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 06:22 AM
17

60M. Ex divorced me after 35 yrs. Marriage was stressful and my three adult children all said I would be happier. I have a lot of peace, but am bored. I have an important job but work from home. I agree with your assessment 100%, and don’t intend to date. Have passed on opportunities. The financial and emotional risk isn’t worth the potential reward. In the event that a total unicorn falls from the sky, I will consider that. Until such time, nope.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 11:46 PM
3

🫡
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 09:50 PM
1

She wants to have her cake and eat it too
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 09:25 PM
2

When I travel out of the area I see much less of this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 04:37 AM
8

Also in SoCal. Pretty sure all the good ones are taken.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 09:52 PM
2

This.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 10:39 PM
6

Mine just used bunker busters on me
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 08:12 AM
1

Not being faithful.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 12:27 AM
1

WTF!
/r/MensRights23/06/25 02:20 AM
1

This!
/r/MensRights23/06/25 02:16 AM
8

This!
/r/MensRights23/06/25 02:15 AM
7

FAFO time for her
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 07:21 PM
9

They love to have their cake and eat it to. I refused a photo with just her and my son at my son’s wedding. Some months later I needed to explain that she ejected me and I do not wish to be part of her fake family construct. WTF? It all seems so performative on her part as well. Like she wants her friends to think I’m friends with her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 04:39 AM
6

Well handled.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 11:14 PM
1

No
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 10:24 PM
1

Yes it’s wrong
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 10:23 PM
18

Wait until after everything is signed off. Shake her hand and say, “Enjoy continuing to get railed by Greg and the other guys.” Don’t ever tell anyone else you did that, most of all your daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 02:12 AM
3

Mine was mad about me leaving my coffee spoon in the sink during the work day.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 07:12 AM
17

He sneezed once in 2023
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 05:46 PM
3

Sounds fair. This is why I won’t get in a relationship again in the US.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 04:36 PM
3

What country is this? I may consider moving there.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 04:16 PM
12

Many women would rather rent a sports car (fun/unreliable) than own a good reliable car. Society glorifies it. Vows and responsibilities are discarded to chase excitement. Children are deprioritized. “You go girl!”
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 09:22 PM
4

Yup. 🎯
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 05:34 PM
1

How tall are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:39 AM
1

60M. In my 40s and into my early 50s, I found most women my age to be attractive. Unfortunately, I now find the vast majority of women my age unattractive. This is particularly true of white women. I wish that were not the case; I’m just being honest. I expect that many women my age feel the same way about most men. Some women my age that I know well seem more attractive. I suppose that’s emotional attraction overcoming the physical to some degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:36 AM
6

Over time you will likely find that she had already planned to leave and her mind (consciously or unconsciously) needed to give her more reasons for it to be your fault instead of hers. Realistically, there’s typically some blame on both sides. Many have felt the same as you. I put a post-it on my monitor: “the only way out is through”. You’ll make it through the dark tunnel and emerge back into the sun, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 09:14 PM
17

Well stated. I’m in full monk mode. The risk/reward ratio is not good. Maybe in a previous decade it could have been different, but not now. I’m picking up new hobbies.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 03:59 AM
4

Mine’s past menopause, so that’s not gonna happen.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 09:31 PM
0

Oof…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 06:03 AM
7

It’s programmed. In earlier times, the men who survived were those who maintained commitment to the team as hunters/warriors.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 05:43 PM
-1

Yup.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 12:51 AM
4

What state is this? I might actually date if I lived somewhere that isn’t no-fault.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 08:04 PM
7

My adult children called it “delusional”.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 09:37 PM
12

Understood. Personally, I avoid all romantic entanglements. Losing more than half of everything I ever worked for at nearly 60 made me 100% risk averse. What a woman could bring to my life is pretty negligible anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 07:06 PM
3

The Past is Prologue. https://youtu.be/tkANxCwsu6A?si=wmImYVqnTmnUpWKB
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 06:48 PM
24

She wants the limerence of a new relationship plus the money of the existing relationship. The government enables her to achieve it. Her friends encourage her to pursue it. She burns it all down. My ex told me she wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She doesn’t understand why I don’t want to be her friend afterwards.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 05:27 PM
3

This is the best list I’ve read in a very long time. Spot on!
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 06:59 PM
4

My boss at work literally asked me to handle some difficult situations with customers, and I was like.... YESSS! I had become so acclimated to 35 years off confrontation that I became bored without it. Then I realized that is not normal.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 11:41 PM
10

Yes! Enjoy the peace and clean dishes.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 05:56 PM
2

I went to a funeral. Her AP was there and speaking. When he received word I was there, he delayed his arrival and deceased’s wife told me she was very concerned about his lateness. Upon his arrival, I generally avoided him. I later said good speech and he got the deer in the headlights look followed by a meek hello. There was awkward silence. I got through it. Honestly his loss to have become involved with her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 10:55 PM
2

Bullseye! 🎯
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 05:26 PM
4

Not doing anything on Valentine’s Day is awesome!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 06:33 AM
26

I am very close with my two adult daughters. They tell me it’s mostly because I was always there when they needed me. Frankly, I was a bit surprised because I traveled for business a lot and was rather tired when at home. It’s just the little times together that mattered. OP, my suggestion would be to just be available, loving, and present for them.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 10:29 PM
5

I remind my adult children when it’s coming up. That is all.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 07:36 PM
12

Divorce quickly, before she realizes what her future will be
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 06:00 PM
2

yup.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 12:09 AM
11

Mine kept all of the grievances, as if saved in a time capsule for posterity. Some reasonable; some not. After 35 years, she filed for divorce. Lost half of everything, including the house. Had to give her more of the 401ks to not have the pleasure of paying her monthly forever.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 06:19 PM
4

Tell her you made a mistake, and now need to tell people the truth. Tell people the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 10:19 PM
6

Yeah; I knew our communication was bad. I didn’t understand just how bad until reflecting on it afterwards. There’s a lot I could have done to improve that. I didn’t have the skills as a youngster, and had built huge walls up as an oldster.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 02:03 AM
3

Don’t be her backup plan. Initiate divorce now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 09:26 AM
9

Out of the will.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 10:27 PM
0

https://youtu.be/bR638YYph5g
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 11:23 PM
1

To be fair, there was nothing they could do to prevent that.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 11:21 PM
5

This. Despite things being bad, I enjoyed being a provider. Money is stacking up, but it’s like black and white instead of color. It no longer represents a potential use. I struggle with defining new meaning based around building my own happiness instead of supplying others.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 07:52 PM
6

One theory from evolutionary biology (not saying whether this is true or not): Through most of human history there were warring tribes. After successfully raiding a tribe, all men and children would be killed. This is common in tribe-organized species today. Only the women who mated with the new regime passed on their genes; those who did not failed to pass on their genes. Thus women became more amenable to “the switch” than men, because it’s adaptively advantageous.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 07:42 PM
5

Empty nester. I didn’t lose friends. I am rather a homebody, anyway. That said, most of my friends are couples that are increasing their vacation travel, etc. I had wanted to do that but solo travel seems a lot less appealing. I’m 60 and some of my friends and colleagues are retiring early. Work provides the majority of my social interaction, so keeping focused on that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 12:50 AM
2

All the best, OP!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 12:33 AM
4

My son got married with a big wedding not long after the divorce. I had a great time. I was civil to Ex, and enjoyed talking to her family members. Ex and I both gave speeches. I made sure mine was unconventional, to avoid overlap with hers and to eliminate the need to coordinate. Many of my son’s friends told me how much they appreciated my speech. Two of my adult children live across the country. I continue to celebrate Christmas Day at my large former house. Frankly, I don’t enjoy that, but I…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 10:15 PM
1

Excellent!
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 09:32 PM
8

60M. Wife of 35yrs divorced me a year ago. I make a lot more than her. Agreed to giving her more than half so I don’t need to pay monthly. It’s nice not having to think about her. I have a great relationship with my three adult kids and with my parents. That’s plenty of family.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 09:19 PM
11

No
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 04:43 AM
5

I’m actively pursuing never falling in love again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 01:13 AM
7

I immediately rebuke anyone using that phrase.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 04:42 PM
9

Just say no
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 06:34 PM
9

The trash is taking itself out
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 08:02 AM
1

100%
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 10:43 PM
12

“Soul mate” is a myth
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 09:02 PM
5

830 here!
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 07:04 PM
10

The only way out is through. You’ll get there.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 07:02 PM
2

This!!
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 06:59 PM
14

Likely so she can get railed by other dudes and assess her prospects before cutting the cord with you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 08:09 PM
5

She wants to be friends, but I don’t
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 09:33 PM
5

STI test
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 01:48 AM
2

Thank you for this. I have three adult children. Visited with one across the country this weekend. She loves me with all of her heart, and I her. Our time together left me very sad about the past and things I could have done better, and that two of my three kids live far away. I thought I was past all this s**t. I need to release the grip of the past and work to create the future.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 10:33 PM
1

Soup for one https://open.spotify.com/track/2Rr4ZOnKXUrzjhMPkmkRjK?si=mLE9fyEUSoCUl1Qr-_IN0A
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 01:11 PM
2

Sale of retirement asset is taxed more highly than sale of home. I didn’t want to live there and she really did, so we took that into account in the split.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 02:56 PM
5

You are an asshole and an idiot. Your affair partner will probably leave you shortly after you complete the destruction of your life. All because you don’t know how to think with your upper head and manage yourself like a real man. I feel sorry for your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 10:05 PM
3

I insisted on being off the mortgage within 3 mos. The loan company won’t let her assume the 2.x% rate. I’ve been nice, so am still on the mortgage. Might have been better to get an alternative concession. I think you’re on the right track with including the available rate as part of that structure.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 08:06 PM
2

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 07:31 AM
3

Link, please…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 11:34 AM
15

Lack of regard for my thoughts/feelings. Actions indicating I was only there to provide resources. Lack of basic empathy, compassion, and human respect. But it was not truly over until her contempt for me morphed into emotional detachment. Fighting subsided. Avoidance ensued.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 02:57 PM
1

Same
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 04:39 AM
1

I will say this. I was a terrible communicator. I didn’t express my needs, just stuffed things. I didn’t lead to a vision, I responded to the situation. I focused on work and money, not on fun and adventure. I got lazy and unmotivated outside of work. I got out of shape. After the divorce it was natural to really dislike her and potentially all women. That’s not fair. All things I will significantly improve now. For me. Not for anyone else. Because that’s who I am and who I choose to be.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 10:34 PM
5

Ex wanted the house and I wanted the larger share of retirement investments. I moved to a condo rental not far away. All of my friends and support network are here. My adult daughter lives less than 1/2 hour away. My other two adult children are on the other side of the country. I work from home and can do that from pretty much anywhere within the US. I made a conscious decision not to consider moving elsewhere until two years elapsed. The idea being that I could think with a clear head and prio…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 12:07 AM
7

Don’t let the trash walk its way back from the curb.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 07:40 PM
0

You asked here, so you can expect a certain bias. I did get three great kids out of it, who like me way more than her. I didn’t really want kids so I’m glad she pressured me to do so. If I had a Time Machine and could go back, I would wait until I was financially established in my 30s then marry a woman in her early 20s. At my age there’s minimal upside and significant potential downside a relationship can provide to me. So I guess the question is do you want kids or not.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 05:45 AM
4

Just imagine the guys currently f***ing her, get some self-respect, and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 09:28 PM
2

Amen, brother!
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 08:28 PM
7

Was with mine for 35 years. Divorced in November. Never think about her unless there’s something to be dealt with. You can be glad she exhibited her hypergamy early. You’ll get there…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 08:29 PM
3

Me too.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 11:13 PM
10

Can’t relate; that’d be a no for me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 07:08 AM
3

Yes! I hated all that crap!
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 05:45 AM
9

My advice is to man up. Put your balls in a good position and move forward. My motto during this was, “the only way out is through”.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 12:16 AM
6

I saunter into Target get what I want and get out. Walking to the music in my mind. Peace!!
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 05:08 AM
11

Very revealing how some women don’t see intrinsic value in a man, only in his ability to provide. Then a SIMP pulls on their heartstrings and they cash out. Only then do they realize they are not the prize they thought they were.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 11:06 PM
7

59M divorced in Nov following 35yr marriage. Other than one bad decision > 25 years ago, she’s been the only one. Honestly it was never good. My d*** got me into that relationship all those years ago, but I made a commitment. After getting screwed over and losing more than half of everything I worked for, I’m extremely reluctant to try for a relationship. I don’t do hookups either, so it’s been It’s monk mode for me this whole time. Likely so for the foreseeable future. One woman dropped me a su…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 10:24 PM
4

I’m not dating, Avoiding the possibility of a repeat.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 11:21 PM
3

This!
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 11:12 PM
8

She grew up as the child of a divorced alcoholic mother. Her family liked to say that she was the adult. Translation: She felt she needed to be the boss of the relationship. I grew up as an only child who was the third wheel. Translation: I was accustomed to being alone and rather ignored. For 35 years I did what she wanted instead of what I wanted in the hope of receiving love in return. Over the last 10 years I realized that was futile and no longer had any positive expectations. Once my provi…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 08:49 PM
16

It wasn’t my desire to get a divorce. F*ed up my net worth and therefore my life options. Empty nest and work from home. Not a whole lot going on outside of work. Nevertheless, better than someone hating you all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 08:56 PM
1

Incorrect, sir!
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 11:28 PM
3

Bro, we all need to road trip there…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 03:28 AM
5

No; I was fully confident she was “the one” 35 years ago. I didn’t believe in divorce and still don’t.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 10:13 PM
2

🤣
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 08:17 PM
6

I don’t miss being blamed as the source of Ex’s unhappiness. So much more peaceful now. I work from home so it’s quieter than I’d prefer. Perhaps I can hire someone to sit around making background noise. /s
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 06:40 PM
9

Her fuck buddy dumped her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 10:20 PM
3

This.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 09:36 AM
2

When I was separated in the house mine kept listening to to a song and singing loudly along with it. The main lyrics were, “You left me…”. Like WTF, you’re divorcing me. The ability to construct and hold a false narrative is unbelievable.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 12:09 AM
5

Trash takes itself out.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 05:18 AM
3

The only way out is through. -me
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 01:18 AM
10

You’re fortunate to have such a great bro despite being such a little bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 03:05 AM
2

My pleasure. Honestly never better…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 02:04 PM
2

You’re just entering the tunnel. I’m a year ahead of you. There is light at the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 10:59 PM
10

Bro…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 07:26 AM
4

“They will use you until you are drained and when they see they are getting close to that point, will put into place a replacement for themselves, so they can transition.” This 100% At age 59 I finally achieved my life’s financial objective, started to ease back, and BOOM!
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 07:25 AM
7

Yup.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 07:21 AM
3

Yes!!
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 09:06 PM
2

Trash takes itself out. God bless you and your daughters.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 09:04 PM
13

Wife, of course. Lost half of everything I ever worked for, but the peace is amazing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 09:31 PM
1

Keep going. F them.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 02:13 PM
4

$1.5M
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 02:06 PM
2

Classic “blaming the victim”.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 06:20 AM
2

Understood, Brother. You don’t need to be chasing. Focus on the kids. Focus on feeling healthy. The future will be revealed in due time.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 06:15 AM
1

True; it does seem like a life wasted. Most of my time and energy went into my career. I did get three amazing adult children out of it, and we love each other very much.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 05:27 AM
17

35yrs married and cost me > $1.5M. Enjoying my peaceful time alone now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 04:10 PM
10

Trash takes itself out…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 04:10 PM
3

Trash takes itself out…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 03:03 AM
8

Great idea. Premiums would be really high, though, given the high actuarial risk
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 02:13 PM
3

I actively started going to support groups. One good one is https://www.divorcecare.org and usually meets at churches.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 12:27 PM
3

Empty nester. She’d prefer more of a relationship; not me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 12:20 AM
7

Become the best you without any other person. Spend two years like that. Then figure it out.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 03:50 PM
2

Yes; the peace is amazing.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 12:03 AM
10

My biggest fear was the financial impact. At 59 I had just achieved what I felt I needed to be comfortable with the future and retirement down the road. Losing half of it and even more to not continue paying for a divorce I didn’t want totally sucked.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 11:03 PM
1

Most likely, yes.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 04:36 AM
1

OP, would you do me a favor and watch this with an open mind? https://youtu.be/5rBZEudfEnw?si=osVh07i9iD4JrM41
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 02:26 AM
3

Your marriage is very much still workable. You need to exercise leadership. Home leadership is different from work leadership. “Our marriage is important to me. I’d like us to read and discuss a book together. Can we set aside a regular time to do so?” Then read anything by the Gottmans. Let her pick the first book.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 06:10 PM
5

“Women treat men the way men treat jobs” https://youtu.be/bR638YYph5g?si=YtDroRx6YEY6pIBv
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 12:29 AM
9

He was probably already seeing her before you separated. Encourage him to marry her. More stable for the kids, and saves you on spousal support. I’m just kidding… kind of.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 08:49 PM
5

She hated Japanese food. Now she likes it. OK…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 04:15 PM
3

No. No.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 01:46 AM
14

35 years for me. They change and are unrecognizable. Enjoying the peace out here.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 08:15 PM
16

Bro, I’m 59 also. Divorced from 35yr marriage in Nov. This was not my plan. My financial aspirations in future retirement needed a big-time adjustment. Nevertheless, I am experiencing so much peace and happiness. I’m not dating, and may never. I am involved with divorce groups, which I find tremendously helpful. I don’t need to figure it all out now. For the first time in my life I have the opportunity to discover what I want to do and become. I look forward to it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 04:14 AM
2

This!
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 04:56 AM
3

Age 59 35 year marriage. She wanted out. Sooooo very peaceful now! Discovering the myself I left behind so many years ago to pursue someone else’s dream. A new relationship of any kind would take all of that peace away. Nope.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 11:41 PM
1

While we thankfully live in an egalitarian society, women are hardwired for this. In a similar way, men are hardwired to instantly assess a woman’s physical attractiveness (breeding potential).
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 11:55 PM
11

“That doesn’t work for me.”
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 08:36 PM
12

Tell the truth now. Don’t be a liar in the future. IMO, your priorities seem f***ed up, and you should work on yourself before dating.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 08:18 PM
15

Women treat men the way men treat jobs. This isn’t a criticism; it’s a realization you must internalize to comprehend the world you live in. Must watch: https://youtu.be/bR638YYph5g?si=4RjxUZtnldyGAqKL
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 08:07 PM
3

F yeah, bro!!! This is the way. Mine wasn’t as bad as yours, but I lived through 35 years of it. Now that that haystack has burned to the ground, the only thing that remains are the relationships I have with my adult children — pure gold. So happy.
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 05:59 AM
2

No! 😱
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 10:26 PM
3

The only woman who will do that without losing respect for you is your mother or your daughter. Respect is what you want, so let’s not go there. As your brother I will tell you; You’re gonna be OK!
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 09:48 PM
6

Been there! You cannot make someone else change. If you want to change the dynamic in the relationship, you will need to take leadership and do 100% of the heavy lifting. I don’t mean giving her what she says she wants; I did that and it doesn’t work. I’m talking about initiating difficult conversations and taking ownership and leadership of the relationship, even if that’s not “fair and equitable”. She will have feelings and perceptions. Repeat back to her what she told you, you can’t debate so…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 09:12 PM
4

You did mess up on her birthday. Nevertheless, red flags galore. Move on…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 05:14 AM
1

There’s a cigar lounge near me. I should check it out!
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 05:10 AM
1

I was lead guitar in a rock band back in high school. Planning to get myself some e-drums to learn at 59.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 05:09 AM
2

Psyhacks, Diary of a CEO, Chris Williamson, Sarah Dawn Moore, Dr. Erik Berg, Dr. Sten Ekberg, Heidi Prebe, Courtney Ryan, Coach Melannie, Real Men Real Style, That dude can cook, Food Wishes, French Guy cooking, French Cooking Academy, Chef Jean-Pierre, Men’s mental health institute, Zuby
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 06:28 AM
3

Watching YouTube premium (no ads) on the TV. Long form (1 1/2 hour) shows where the host interviews thought leaders. Psychacks. Focusing on dressing a little better, just for me. Enjoying scent. Cremo body wash. A few trials from MicroPerfumes.com Consuming social media at a coffee shop, instead of alone at home for hours.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 12:51 AM
4

Smart, brother! You don’t want to latch onto someone else’s life. You want to fully establish your own life. Only then can you know if you want to let someone else into it. In my opinion, someone like that would need to be very exceptional in several dimensions. Whether that ever shows up I don’t know, but I’m not gonna pursue it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 07:35 PM
2

Thanks for asking! I’m currently doing four groups: 1. Men’s group at my small church 2. Separated men’s group at a megachurch 3. Small group study/dinner with divorced men 4. Divorcecare (coed) It all started with #1 over a year ago. Folks participating in that invited or suggested to me the others in that order. Just added #4 in Jan. You could start with Divorcecare. They encourage men to meet with other men outside of it as well. https://www.divorcecare.org BTW, I’m an introvert, but I knew I…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 07:28 PM
3

The only way out is through, brother. We made it. So will you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:56 AM
7

Hit the eject button. Majority of problems fixed…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:26 AM
5

Sometimes you do what you need to do, not what you want to do, because you’re a man… Now go do the next right thing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 12:45 AM
11

Bro, don’t seek a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I was distraught a year ago when my wife of 35 years informed me. I had achieved my life’s financial objective, and BOOM! I needed an antidepressant at the time. I’m now titrating down. I told somebody yesterday I realized I’m the most peaceful and happy I’ve been in my entire life.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 12:36 AM
0

Before this I knew she disliked me and I viewed that rightly or wrongly as a permanent situation. After this I freaked out at what I had done. Started to think I felt something. Went to Dr. They never tested, just gave me an antibiotic and said I should inform her as well. Of course that was devastating. Pretty sure it was all in my head.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 10:13 PM
6

A lot of the comments on here are pretty harsh. This is a sad and difficult situation.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 09:22 PM
2

Got involved in a sexual relationship too young. Mistakenly thought that was a recipe for marriage. Failed to have goals at the outset. Failed to be a leader at home, instead focusing on building my successful career. Experienced anxiety and depression which made my wife unable to feel supported and safe in the way she would have liked. Got a happy ending >25 yrs ago. Knew knew right away it was the wrong thing. Should not have shared the information. Failed to set boundaries. Should have said “…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 09:12 PM
10

Divorced in Nov. 35 years of marriage and hard work. Saved for the future, put three kids through college and denied myself to achieve financial freedom. Now BOOM! Half gone. You ask how did I find the motivation. No choice, brother. “The only way out is through”. I attend multiple meetings weekly with other men who are doing / have done the same. I recently told someone I feel the most peace I’ve felt in 35 years.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 08:38 PM
3

Repeat after me… “That doesn’t work for me” Once you get your head screwed on straight a year from now, you can send her a bunch of cash if you want to. Of course, you won’t want to.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 11:27 PM
1

Have you tried marriage counseling?
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 08:50 PM
5

“We connected physically first and very quickly.” That was my downfall 35 years ago. Won’t be making that mistake again. Not dating now. May not ever. My peace is too valuable.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 06:29 PM
12

Don’t do anything out of hate, brother. Be above it all.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 11:06 PM
9

Bro… 100% you must go. I’m likely to take a solo trip to CR just because I enjoy travel. One of my rules during divorce was if someone asks something and it’s not against my morals, etc. then it’s a yes from me. You’ll have an hour or so of awkwardness followed by a great time. Enjoy; you earned it!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 03:28 AM
5

That’s a no for me, dog.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 08:47 PM
10

The logical dissonance is unfathomable.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 10:25 AM
6

Sucks, but at least honest.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:49 AM
17

Never apologized for anything else. Why would she start now?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:36 AM
7

I am OK with women posting here if they are respectful of our community. We are men. We respond with logic and intellect, not knee-jerk emotionality. Now, if they are coming here specifically for a debate, or turning everything into a debate, then ban the bell out of that particular poster.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 11:00 PM
4

Glad you made a decision that was appropriate for you. It’s an option that should be exercised by some.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 10:40 PM
4

BTW they will likely tell him he should be on medication for some period of time, until he gets out the other side of the tunnel.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 10:15 PM
3

He needs a supportive friend group that 1. Understands what he’s going through 2. Encourages the next positive step. I strongly recommend https://www.divorcecare.org. Preferably in person. Free.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 09:50 PM
3

They want women married to the state. Good way to proliferate the bureaucratic class.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 06:15 PM
3

QED indeed.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 01:42 AM
0

No
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 12:52 AM
11

… and will deny it the whole time!
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 11:59 PM
6

Ex cut off counseling about 6 mos before informing me of the divorce. I suspect she already knew the outcome going into the counseling.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 01:04 AM
4

Yup.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 05:23 AM
3

Meet up with others are going through or went through divorce. Concentrate on my work. Watch YouTube. Go for walks. Hang out at coffee shop. Cook. Hit a bunch of grocery stores that have the best of each particular item.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 10:38 PM
1

I remember the latter, but not the former.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 10:01 PM
3

35 yrs marriage. Divorce finalized 2mos ago. Empty nester. Work from home. Financially successful. Pretty good on my own, but do miss the energy of someone else around. It’s good, however, not having a person come home unhappy/angry, and telling me I am the reason.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 09:50 PM
15

She always hated Asian food, especially sushi. Now she loves it. OK…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 05:37 AM
7

$1.5M
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 05:49 AM
23

Peace. I no longer await an unhappy person coming home and blaming me for their unhappiness.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 04:18 AM
1

Not afraid of being alone. Figuring out what I want to be without someone telling what I should want to be -that’s the challenge. First things first…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 01:26 AM
3

I’m informed that once everything’s finalized, it’s a difficult time. After some settling, you’ll focus on creating FigurativeLasso 2.0. You’re not a quitter; this is just your next challenge. Your daily good choices will shape the ultimate outcome. I’m just a few days behind you, man. Yesterday I went to the mall (never do that) and walked around browsing for hours. Went to one of my very favorite restaurants, sat in the bar, had a cocktail and amazing dinner by myself. Dropped >$100 on dinner,…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:21 AM
1

This!
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 01:32 AM
2

Booyah!
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 11:55 PM
1

She’s bringing you there so she can tell the counselor how much you suck. That’s all. Just now understood why I was pulled into a couple of sessions with a new counselor at the very end. She cut off with the previous counselor months before.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 08:03 PM
3

Dude, this is right on target. After 35 years I have a lot of healing and soul searching to do. Confrontational style is such a big one. I’m not going to put up with shit like being overly aggressive, lacking empathy, etc. in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 10:36 PM
8

Same here except she’s leaving me at 59, after empty nest. I’m tight with the three kids. The greatest blessing in my life, and they love me completely. Hang in there, brother!
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 07:28 PM
1

Just you asking that feels toxic.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 11:43 PM
17

Her: for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part - or until I decide something else is better.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 06:06 AM
1

Pass on that.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 10:58 PM
6

Solid gold diamond encrusted unicorn.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 08:26 PM
2

This. Genius.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 08:16 PM
3

Ignore it. She truly believes it. You’re both vulnerable to making the same mistakes again. Work on making sure that doesn’t happen to you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 08:09 PM
2

Yes, but will give her > 50% of the assets in lieu of monthly payments. Our three children are adults.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 11:45 PM
8

Married 35 years. Wife informed me about a year ago. Will be finalized soon.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 12:47 AM
8

That first sentence was right on target.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 10:30 PM
2

Age 24 to 59 here. 35 years; same as you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 08:05 PM
1

Women treat men the way men treat jobs. www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR638YYph5g
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 12:15 AM
31

Teenagers can be fickle, and it is a very difficult time for her. Be the bigger man and give her grace. Stay on your side of the fence.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 12:57 AM
3

Don’t take a permanent action to a temporary problem, brother. Join a divorce group or a men’s group at church. I’ve made a lot of new friends who are going through the same, and look forward to meeting with them.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 01:28 AM
1

This.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 09:39 PM
1

Just do it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 01:41 AM
2

Here's my suggestion -- give yourself a specific time of day that you can think about her, but only for 10 minutes. If you find yourself thinking about her, say to yourself, "I'll defer thinking about this until the scheduled time". Before you know it those scheduled times will become less and less important.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 01:18 AM
1

https://youtu.be/ucY6NwQTI3M
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 12:43 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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