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eatthemenu Archive

View 0 posts and 180 comments by eatthemenu on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I thought science FAILED you...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/17 05:03 PM
2

What are you talking about? You already admitted that your post is based on a passing knowledge of attachment theory. I understand you just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/17 03:55 PM
2

A real demographic that, by the OP's own admission is emotionally traumatized/vulnerable. It's one thing to want women to find you attractive when you're older, it's quite another to hope that women are damaged emotionally for this purpose.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/17 01:14 PM
5

It's pretty shitty for him to find comfort in the idea that people will be so damaged from their childhood emotional trauma that they will want to date him to feel safe. He's essentially rejoicing in someone else's pain.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/17 02:48 AM
1

Nope. Just came here to point out that a hypothetical woman is hypothetical.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/17 12:33 AM
1

So adamant about what? Saying that a hypothetical woman is hypothetical? This is literally the first time I've chimed in on this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/17 12:15 AM
3

Who is the "her" in this situation? You are talking about a woman who was completely made up for the sake of this exchange. She doesn't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/17 11:57 PM
1

Oh, sorry, I thought I was pretty clear: This sub is trash. This post was the final nail in the coffin for me. But y'all enjoy yourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/17 10:59 PM
3

Believe me, it's painfully obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/17 07:59 PM
5

He didn't come up with it. This is just a heavily gendered/shitty version "attachment theory."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/17 07:50 PM
3

Just google "attachment theory" and save yourself some time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/17 07:46 PM
13

And I'm done. This sub is just full of pseudoscientific nonsense and the people that gobble it up like candy. Fucks sake.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/17 05:47 PM
1

[N]ow it could be in self defense but than again that applies to men too. That is the situation the Duluth Model is for, when a woman is abused by a man and she uses violence to defend herself. Because, as I've said several times now, the Duluth Model only worked with couples where the abuser was identified as a man and the victim was identified as a woman. In fact most domestic violence is instigated by women If this is true then The Duluth Model is not helpful because this type of situation fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 11:26 PM
1

From the quote you provided: the circumstances of that violence tends to differ from when men use violence. What does "tends to differ" mean? Does it mean "is always different in every single situation?" Nope. It means that it is usually but now always different. This is in line with statistics which show that men are, more often than not, the perpetrators of violence even against other men. The quote goes on the explain why a man might be abusing a woman. But where in that quote is there any st…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 11:03 PM
1

When it was created Duluth Model only ever worked with men who were abusers and women who were abused. No other situation was accounted for. It is clearly a model designed for men who are abusers and women who were abused. The abusers in those situations had already been identified and the Duluth Model was about how to proceed once the abuser had already been identified as a man in a heterosexual relationship. I honestly don't see how anyone can see it any other way...The Duluth Model was never …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 10:14 PM
1

The only people they worked with in the inception of the Duluth Model was men who were abusers and women who were victims. As I've said before it's very clear that the Duluth Model falls outside the scope of any other situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 10:12 PM
3

Oh how easily to flip this and how so true it be. That's actually a fair point. As long as we continue to judge groups by its loudest and most problematic members we aren't being entirely fair to that group. Feminists shouldn't be defined by those members and neither should MRAs. Better to treat people as individuals. There seems to be a lot of generalizations made about people on both sides. So, rather than attack each other constantly why not just try to focus on the common ground and hash out…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 10:42 AM
1

Sex is not a conversation, it is an intimate and personal act. If it were like having a conversation then you'd be able to fuck in public without consequence. Even so, you actually do need someone's consent to have a conversation with them. Trying to talk to someone who is ignoring you or actively trying to get away from you is considered harassment. A human beings body is not a store, it is their personal property. It exists for them to use and enjoy as they please, not for you to violate as yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 10:02 AM
3

Here you can see a criticism of the Duluth Model is that its scope is too narrow, not because men can never be victims of abuse but because the Duluth model isn't for such situations. There is a distinction here that is important. A quote from the source I provided: The Duluth Model, in its original, pure form, proves inadequate because it addresses only a single type of familial violence, while ignoring others.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 09:37 AM
1

I'm basing it on the fact that the model was designed for men who are abusers and women who are victims of abuse. Anything else (gay relationships, women who abuse men) clearly falls outside the scope of the model.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 09:30 AM
2

But it was created by feminist and feminism theory, the Duluth model is heavily defended by feminist, not by men or any men's right groups. Again, it was intended as a model in which the abuser has already been identified as a man in a heterosexual relationship. It was not developed as a way to identify who is the abuser in the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 03:23 AM
2

Thanks, I will!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 03:17 AM
3

Have feminists been fighting the government to give men the choice to financial abortion? Obvious answer is no. It would hurt women to give men more choices. You won't be able to trick your boyfriend in getting you pregnant anymore if he can just say "cool if you want to have that baby against my consent, then you aren't getting any of my money". You are right that women should have control over their bodies, just like men should have control over their wallets. Um...I actually addressed this in…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 01:33 AM
5

another false feminist lie This is a double negative, just FYI. feminist parental views and believe in 50/50 custody, feminist fight against this. Feminists have already addressed this argument. Remember feminist entire dogma is mile privilege and patriarchy , it is a entire concept that revolves around the male being bad This is based on a misunderstanding of what privilege is. given the fact that they produce things like the Duluth model The Duluth model is specifically about a situation in wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 01:27 AM
2

You've now changed your argument from "feminism is not about equality because it's not about men" to "feminism is not about equality because women are already equal."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 12:56 AM
3

I do not share this perspective. And that's fine, I'm not going to try to convert you. The argument you were making wasn't a sound argument an I was just pointing that out. The one you have now is much better because it gets at the root of our disagreement. You don't gain equality by stepping on/ignoring one gender and focusing on the other. A central issue in feminism today is abortion. Women want control over their own bodies. Men cannot have children so focusing on men in this instance would …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 12:53 AM
4

I think I understand now why you don't consider this an equality movement. I made another comment explaining how it is an equality movement but I'll do it here now as well. Feminism comes from the position that women are an oppressed group. (Regardless of whether or not you agree with that position, it is a fundamental part of feminism). An oppressed group is, by definition, not equal to a group which benefits from their oppression. A movement where an oppressed group is working to gain equal fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 12:38 AM
4

Because feminists constantly run this narrative about being an equality movement. Feminism wants equality for women. Feminism comes from the position that men and women are not on equal footing (I don't care if you disagree with this statement, I am just stating the perspective of feminism). If feminism is about women gaining equal footing with men it is an equality movement. Edit: You could make the argument that women and men are already on equal footing and that since men and women are alread…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 12:20 AM
3

How far do you want MRAs (and other non-feminist men's advocates) to go in embracing feminism? I believe the answer is in what you already quoted. If MRA stopped positioning themselves as an opposing force to feminists and feminism I would be right there with them
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 12:14 AM
6

I'm sorry, where the fuck am I? You're now claiming that it is illogical for certain groups to exist in order to champion issues that only effect certain people? Should I start demanding that prostate cancer foundations raise money on my behalf? Are prostate cancer foundations against equality because they don't raise money for breast cancer?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/17 12:06 AM
4

Then enlighten me - why do feminists only pay attention to male issues when the same issues also affect women. Men having a higher rate of suicide doesn't affect me at all, yet it was one of the three things I listed. You just chose to focus on the two that also pertain to women in the world. or when they can blame the patriarchy (which of course "hurts men too") and/or toxic masculinity for it? Because that is a central part of feminism. I really have yet to see feminists caring about men's iss…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 11:55 PM
4

But you essentially just said that feminism isn't an equality movement. Did I? Or did you just infer that? A movement can be focused certain issues without being about the absolute superiority of those affected by those issues. Saying men are harmed by the patriarchy is victim blaming by the way. The patriarchy is a system. Do certain people uphold the system? Yes, but there are also certain people who work to dismantle the system, like men who are feminists. Blaming the patriarchy is not the sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 11:31 PM
4

But where were the reasonable feminists when Emma Sulkowicz launched her smear campaign? You mean like self proclaimed feminist and NYT journalist Emily Bazelon? Tim Hunt got ostracized and fired? Tim Hunt is hardly the first person to be dragged for saying something incredibly stupid and he will certainly not be the last. People are fired and ostracized all the time for insensitive comments and it's generally considered the price of free speech. This is part of a bigger discussion about whether…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 11:23 PM
5

Yet two of the three aren't really pervasive issues. All three are issues that have been brought up by the MRM, which is what you're talking about. As for the rest of your comment, I am not going to waste my time trying to change the feeling you have about feminists. Your suspicion is just that, a suspicion, and I can't argue with your feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 11:02 PM
8

As someone who has been a feminist for a while now, I can tell you that there is a hell of a lot of disagreement that goes on in the world of feminism. Hell, libfems and radfems are at each other's throats a lot of the time. At the end of the day, feminists are people with a variety of beliefs and flaws. Feminists love to control the conversation and only talk about women's issues, if you discuss men's issues they see it as a threat. That's because feminism is about women's issues. There's a tim…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 10:33 PM
2

lol JonLajoi. This is definitely how I picture a lot of TRP guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 10:16 PM
12

Yup. Came here to say this. I've spent a fair amount of my time convincing men that they can be raped by women, that circumcision is genital mutilation, and that their higher suicide rate points to a significant a problem. I am a feminist and I have no problem doing this because I do care about the men in my life. If MRA stopped positioning themselves as an opposing force to feminists and feminism I would be right there with them (on a lot of things, some of the stuff they say is pure nonsense t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 09:59 PM
1

So you're using the slippery slope argument? Saying that if we start with sex soon people will demand that we have affirmative consent with everything? Like gay marriage? Soon people will be wanting to marry their animals! Ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 08:05 PM
1

This is what you are proposing, a dystopia, where you need explicite "YES" to interact with human bodies in any way. No, I am proposing that you need a "yes" to touch and have sex with another humans body.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 06:24 AM
1

Again, your solution is removing all the responsibility from women. A woman can't rape herself, dude. If you want to have sex with someone why don't you have a responsibility to make sure they want to have sex with you? It's misandrist position to say the least. It's really fucking not. Because women can rape men. An errection is not consent and yet, plenty of people believe that it is. This is a problem. Men get laughed at or brushed off for claiming they were raped because people are confused …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 06:18 AM
1

I'm fine with teaching women to be clearer about their boundaries. Why can't we do that and teach people to respect each other's bodies? Why does it have to be one or the other? Why do you make it seem like it is one or the other? We should absolutely teach people to stand up for themselves. But we should also teach people to respect other people's boundaries. That's how we raise children, right? We don't just teach kids to say "no" when someone takes their toy without asking, we teach them to a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 06:12 AM
1

Okay...But the CDC data I was referring to was about the number of people who aren't having sex with anyone. That data is only available through self report and your data does not prove that there are more celibate men than celibate women. That is what we have been talking about for several comments now.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 05:58 AM
1

You have been all over the place since your very first comment. It's impossible to have a focused, rational, intelligent discussion with you. I don't even know what point you're trying to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 03:29 AM
2

Brilliant. Thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 03:10 AM
2

I'm 100% okay with sex workers who choose to be sex workers and the people who go to them. I am 100% not okay with human trafficking.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 03:06 AM
2

What study specifies that it's only when women are "grabbed and held down" that they experience TI? Because I am not familiar with it and I'd like to see that study (or studies, if there are multiple ones).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 02:54 AM
1

Like...You touch them, they freeze...You keep touching them having never heard a "no." Then you rape them but it wasn't rape because she didn't say "no?"
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 02:46 AM
1

When exactly are women supposed to say "no?"
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 02:44 AM
2

it occurs as a response to sexual assault Exactly...How is a person supposed to say "no" if they are having this response?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 02:41 AM
2

...I wouldn't. I also wouldn't expect someone to be trying to have sex with an unconscious woman because that is clearly rape. Unconscious people definitely can't consent. And what other medically valid reasons are there that aren't some form of unconsciousness that completely inhibit speech Tonic immobility...The fight, flight, or freeze response...those are real reactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 02:32 AM
2

Of course what works for me won't work for him, because I am not him, and neither are you for that matter. He should be leaning into what works about his natural personality with confidence. Plenty of women find awkward men attractive. If they can make fun of themselves and be charming about it, it's quite attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 02:26 AM
2

No answer is your answer: No. Why are you trying to rape unconscious women?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 02:22 AM
2

That is exactly the kind of attitude that will lead to you getting accused of rape, if you haven't been already.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 02:21 AM
2

You are unbelievable. You will believe whatever you want about me without actual evidence simply because you feel like it's true. Whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/17 02:19 AM
2

I didn't say I was against implicit "yes." I am against ambiguity in sexual situations because guess what? Men AND women complain about it. Men who don't get consent complain about false rape accusations and women who don't consent complain about being raped. So, the solution is to start teaching people what consent looks like. There are plenty of medically valid reasons that someone would not be able to say "no" so we need to be looking for a "yes." If you ask for a "yes" and you don't get one …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 06:53 PM
1

Nope. Never. I have never had that mindset. Also, you don't know me so you cannot claim otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 06:49 PM
2

I am a woman who dates men and women. You can't claim to "respect" me while simultaneously discounting my advice simply because I'm a woman. I probably get more pussy than you anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 06:46 PM
2

What is wrong with teaching people to be clear and communicative when it comes to sex? What is wrong with trying to remove ambiguity from the situation?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 06:44 PM
1

Not saying explicitly "yes" isn't the same as saying no. But it's also not a "yes." Why are you so against getting confirmation that someone wants to have sex? If they really do want to have sex then getting them to say so shouldn't be a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 08:48 AM
2

You are the same kind of people who tell men that if woman is drunk she can not consent, or that if she regrets next morning I am one person. This is a tricky area. I'm loath to call all drunk sex rape because it really depends on the situation. If a person is heavily intoxicated and someone knowingly takes advantage of that situation to sleep with them then that is predatory behavior. Never does it apply to men or even when people commit car accidents while intoxicated. Okay...But it does apply…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 08:44 AM
2

Disclaimer: I am a woman but I cannot and do not speak for all women, no woman can do that. Should I cold-approach women? Is that weird? Depends on the woman. There's nothing wrong with trying to spark up a conversation with a stranger but if you're not good at reading social cues then I wouldn't recommend it. Would it be weird to talk to women on the subway? To someone like me? Good God yes. I used to take public transportation a lot and being hit on by complete strangers was the absolute worst…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 08:19 AM
1

Just be awkward. It sounds like you already know you're awkward so just be fun and light hearted about it and you'll be fine. Awkward can be charming/endearing if you can laugh about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 07:02 AM
1

Are we talking about dating or sex? What are you claiming that this data proves? Because despite all of the data you provided you do not come remotely close to proving that there are more celibate men than celibate women. There is currently no way of getting that information unless it is self reported.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 05:22 AM
2

I'm sure plenty of men do. But that hardly means that all men with a high number of sexual partners use lies to get women into bed. Women are capable of enjoying casual sex too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 04:21 AM
1

Let me put it this way...If you took my car without asking and I got mad, would you then say "typical, you should have TOLD me that you didn't want me to take your car." No, dude, you should have asked to take my car. A persons body is their property and you should treat it as such.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 04:17 AM
2

The point you were trying to make in your original comment was unclear (does anyone actually switch between ALM and BLM??). In any case, this isn't the right venue for a deep discussion of race issues in the US so I went ahead and deleted my comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 04:05 AM
2

They can't just enjoy sex...? What's with the judgement? I mean, if having a lot of sex with multiple partners is the only reason for this generalization on your part then that's pretty unfair.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 03:47 AM
1

Answer: It's not really okay for anyone to make conclusions about individuals based on generalizations or stereotypes. But people still do, because human beings are flawed. I am a feminist and I've made no such statements about men. I'm fine with men who are virgins and I don't see this as an automatic character flaw. I also don't care if men see sex workers. Bare minimum requirement for me is that you have a healthy attitude about women and are STD free.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 03:29 AM
1

Way to bring up something no one was talking about but since you did... Black Lives Matter =/= Only black lives matter If your house is burning down and you wanted the fire department to come to put out the fire, I wouldn't run up to you screaming "BUT ALL HOUSES MATTER!" Because of course all houses matter but not all houses are currently on fire.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 03:15 AM
1

Gladly. Do I think more pressure is placed on men to lose their virginity? Absolutely. Do I think this should translate into men demanding that women have sex with incels? Fuck no. I think, as a society, we need to move away from pressuring men to have sex and away from pressuring women to not have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/17 12:07 AM
1

The questions were posed in a very heteronormative way, the OP was the one stereotyping men and women. Consent goes all ways. I don't care what your gender or sexual preference is. If someone, anyone, isn't giving an enthusiastic "yes" to a sexual encounter then you are entering dangerous territory. That is, men and women should be getting consent and the gender neutral language I used throughout most of my post reflects that belief.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/17 11:17 PM
1

I thought you already knew everything about me since I am a human woman. Shouldn't you be able to answer that question yourself? Edit: Also, for someone who does all that studying you sure like to avoid citing any sources when you "disagree" with stats I've provided.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/17 11:12 PM
1

I've noticed that rarely seem to have anything approaching actual proof on this sub...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/17 08:11 PM
1

Are you a human woman? Then yes, I do know on average. Ha. Okay, buddy. You know more about me than I do. As an Incel you are clearly an expert on human women and I should just stfu. Pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/17 08:01 PM
2

And we literally did tests on this shit. Like, three days old babies. Are you talking about multiple studies (if so, I'd love links!!) or that single toy preference study that everyone seems to be referencing all the time?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/17 12:41 AM
1

It depends on what you mean by "nice." Most people are, at the very least, civil human beings with mostly good intentions. "Niceness" without any maturity is kind of insufferable, though. I try to look for people who are gracious, self-aware, and capable of making a real apology ("I'm sorry that you're upset" isn't an apology, "I'm sorry that I hurt you" is).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/17 12:32 AM
0

I'm going to stay clear of terms like "asshole" because I don't think it's productive. This is really a conversation about consent and what consent looks like. To TRP, consent is generally non-verbal (e.g. If she touches you back, she wants you). The problem with this view is that non-verbal communication is indirect and hard to interpret correctly. A feminist view of consent is that "yes means yes" meaning that you have to hear a "yes" before you engage with someone physically and anything else…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/17 11:49 PM
1

I admittedly did not make it all the way through your argument and analysis because I was annoyed that despite its academic structure, it was very lacking in academic sources to support its arguments. I found that your arguments regarding BIANG not satisfying the "entitlement" test to be pretty weak. For example, this sentence is basically all the proof you have for BIANG not satisfying the positive obligation test: Look at how “Nice Guys” react when they’re accused of feeling like women actuall…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/17 10:53 PM
1

Obviously these guys did something right if they got a relationship in the first place. They got past the radar. It's almost as if people are unwilling to discuss it, because it doesn't fit the narrative. I wonder why. The cycle of abuse usually begins with a honeymoon period where the abuser will act like a loving partner. It isn't until further into the relationship that an abusers behavior starts to change drastically. They "get past the radar" because they typically aren't abusive outright.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/17 09:42 PM
1

How to have Nice Guy Syndrome: 1. Talk about how you're a "nice guy." 2. Flip out when a woman says "no" or doesn't want to talk to you. (Call her a selfish whore or a stuck up bitch). 3. Complain that women never wanna date "nice guys" like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 06:19 PM
2

If you make a statement, the burden of proof is on you. Prove that he was gay. Saying the word "fabulous" doesn't make you gay.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 03:52 PM
2

How about this guy then? Or these ones? This is who we are talking about when we say Nice Guy Syndrome. The men who act like "nice guys" right up until you say "no" and then they turn into very different people. Not all of them kill women, some stalk them or just refuse to take no for an answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 03:46 PM
2

I love how you want to dismiss him based on how you feel about his sexuality. TRP: Nice Guy Syndrome doesn't exist. (Gets shown an example). TRP: He doesn't count because it doesn't fit my narrative.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 03:38 PM
1

HA! Okay, dude. Then you just keep believing whatever you want based on your feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 03:32 PM
1

yeah pull out the absolute most extreme example possible and act as though he's typical of the average 'nice man' strawman you have going for yourself. Women have been telling you guys for years that people like Elliot Rodger exist. Then whenever a woman gets killed for saying "no" to a guy you guys are just like "well that's an extreme example." Men have followed me home even after I've asked them to leave me alone or refused to talk to them. Every. Single. Woman. Has had an experience like thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 03:31 PM
1

One of the few. Care to back that claim up with scientifically gathered data?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 04:42 AM
1

It's misandric to put the burden of approach on primarily the male party and expect absolutely no blow back whatsoever. I don't expect this. I approach people all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 04:04 AM
2

I'm not sure how true this is but I've heard that he didn't really try to approach women at all. I'd say it's pretty hard to develop any kind of relationship with someone if you don't even talk to them. Isolating yourself socially is a sure fire way to avoid making friends and getting into relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 03:37 AM
1

Until those men show up this is me poaching straight girls
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 03:09 AM
1

"Nice guys" who want a relationship care about and value the woman as a person. We're not talking about "wants" we are talking about "expectations." This guy expected to be in a relationship (just listen to how he talks about wanting a relationship in his videos). When he didn't get what he expected he went on a killing spree. He originally planned to massacre an entire sorority. He's not the only person to kill or harm women for not going out with him. So I don't think all guys who want a relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 03:00 AM
1

Yeah...We just made it all up
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 02:39 AM
1

They're just blinded by their wishful thinking. Is that not being selfish? Being so wrapped up in your own wants that you are incapable of caring about what someone else wants?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 02:33 AM
1

I think women would rather you be kind than be an asshole, but if the asshole has other traits a woman likes (and often they do), they can still win out over the kind man. Women are individuals who all have individual tastes. The truth is that some women out there are attracted to men who will treat them like garbage and there are some women who aren't attracted to men at all. Categorizing us as if we all have the same thoughts and want the same things isn't useful if you're hoping to figure out…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 02:28 AM
1

Is treating them badly and expecting sex as well misogynistic? Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 02:19 AM
2

Being nice and expecting a deep romantic relationship for it isn't really misogynistic I disagree. This is also misogynistic. They key here is whether or not you are respecting a someone's agency.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 02:17 AM
4

Expecting sex is misogynistic. Nice Guy Sundrome looks like throwing a tantrum when a woman doesn't want to have sex with you because you think she should want to have sex with you because youre being so nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 02:15 AM
1

accuse them of wanting sex only instead of relationships. Whether you expect sex or a sexual romantic relationship it is still misogynistic to ignore or become frustrated with a woman's agency. That is where the misogyny is. When rejected, it's okay to be disappointed and move on. It is not okay to become mad at the person/people who rejected you simply because they rejected you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 02:10 AM
1

In the real world, people often support the same policies for different reasons, after all. That was kinda the point of my original comment. The motivations behind the criminalization of prostitution don't really matter, because those motivations tend to be fluid anyway. The end result is that we are punishing adult men and women for engaging in consensual sex and we are making it more dangerous for women by driving prostitution underground.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 02:01 AM
2

All I am alleging is that our society's moral calculus (which I fully agree may not match our society's legal calculus) generally sees the "ultimate villain" in prostitution as men/male sexuality, and the policing of female sexuality is a means to the greater end of policing male sexuality. Is it not still policing female sexuality if we believe that the only reason a woman would enter the sex trade is because she's a victim? Benevolent paternalism is still paternalism. It may be disguised as be…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 01:15 AM
3

But the aim of the drug war is to stop people consuming drugs. The sex industry and the drug industry are different, though. Consuming drugs is considered a health issue for drug users, not for drug dealers. Sex work is considered a health issue for sex workers and their clients. Prostitution is considered immoral and unhealthy for everyone involved. The object of punishment under the Nordic Model is trying to buy sex, not trying to sell it. Sure, there are some societies that consider buying se…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/17 09:50 PM
3

The idea of men paying for sex is the ultimate object of hate. I disagree. Because I think people also hate the idea of a woman who would willingly and enthusiastically enter the sex trade. this is made even more obvious when you look at Nordic Model societies Please re-read my original comment, I was not looking at Nordic Model societies, I was specifically looking at the US and I never claimed to be doing otherwise. But laws are instituted because of reasons/motivations. Sure. But I think it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/17 09:28 PM
1

Okay, so we're making this a definition debate. Clearly. Semantics obviously matter to both of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/17 10:18 AM
3

The end is to stop men acting in a certain way (buying sex). The means is to stop women acting in a certain way (selling sex). The end is to stop prostitution, the buying and selling of sex. The means is to stop women from selling sex and men from buying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/17 09:59 AM
1

Sure, but suggesting women were treated like men's "property" has implications. It does. You could even argue that "infantalizing" women is treating them like property by making the argument that children are treated like property. I'm very comfortable saying that all people enter relationships with others due to anticipating some sort of net benefit from that relationship. This is different from saying "all relationships are transactional" without further defining what "transactional" means in …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/17 07:51 AM
3

But would you deny that the drug war is ultimately based on a desire to stop people using drugs? No. Just like I wouldn't deny that making prostitution illegal is based on a desire to stop people from exchanging sex for money. I would argue that harsher penalties for distributors and traffickers means that our legal system considers distributing and trafficking to be worse than possession. Who gets the biggest punishment isn't necessarily the same thing as who's behavior is the ultimate object o…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/17 07:43 AM
1

Arranged marriages don't give sons much choice either. Sure, but for men marriage did tend to come with some pretty big perks (coverture, for instance). Also, women were historically treated more as men's wards than men's property (women were infantilized, not enslaved. Big difference!). I didn't use the word "enslaved." You are aware that if this statement is true, then all of social science immediately dies right? Are you serious? Are you even familiar with any kind of social science? Show me …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/17 07:22 AM
2

They hated us even back then. Yup. Have faith, though. Systems instinctively try to resist change. Red Pill is a reaction to the progress women are making. Control used to be handed to them, now they're having to work even harder to maintain it...And it's not really working.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/17 06:51 AM
2

If you look at state by state penalties for prostitution (as of 2016), customers are more likely to receive lighter penalties than prostitutes (although in most states the penalties are the same). For example, in Arizona, prostitutes are automatically imprisoned and penalties escalate after the first offense. After 4+ offenses a prostitute gets 180 days -1.5 years in prison and is charged with a felony as opposed to a misdemeanor. No matter how many offenses a John has had, they are charged with…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/17 04:16 AM
3

There was a significant study done on this very thing and the findings were very interesting. From the abstract of Teri Conley's "Perceived proposer personality characteristics and gender differences in acceptance of casual sex offers." First, using a person-perception paradigm, I assessed people's impressions of women and men who proposed a casual sexual encounter in the same manner that confederates in Clark and Hatfield did. Women and men agreed that female proposers were more intelligent, su…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/17 03:28 AM
1

Clearly! When or what about it do you focus on? Well, I've read some RP and MRA stuff and I tend to agree with some of the observations that are being made but I tend to disagree about the root cause and the solutions presented. That's a very general way of putting it because there's just so much that can be discussed. I'm way more dominant and an asshole than you I think. Lol, yeah, I think I'd agree with that. Whereas you seem to strive to avoid creating fear and negative feelings from what I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/17 12:02 AM
1

I should mention that I'm non-monogamous so alone time probably becomes more of an issue for me than it does for monogamous people. Stuff that's usually a problem in monogamous relationships, like mismatched libidos, is rarely an issue for me. I'm not actually thinking about destructive emotional expression as much as how a woman's emotions can overload her and make her ignore reason and rationality. Men get to that point far less often, of course having steadier hormones throughout the month is…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 11:13 PM
1

I should mention that I'm non-monogamous so alone time probably becomes more of an issue for me than it does for monogamous people. Stuff that's usually a problem in monogamous relationships, like mismatched libidos, is rarely an issue for me. I'm not actually thinking about destructive emotional expression as much as how a woman's emotions can overload her and make her ignore reason and rationality. Men get to that point far less often, of course having steadier hormones throughout the month is…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 11:13 PM
1

I should mention that I'm non-monogamous so alone time probably becomes more of an issue for me than it does for monogamous people. Stuff that's usually a problem in monogamous relationships, like mismatched libidos, is rarely an issue for me. I'm not actually thinking about destructive emotional expression as much as how a woman's emotions can overload her and make her ignore reason and rationality. Men get to that point far less often, of course having steadier hormones throughout the month is…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 11:12 PM
1

I should mention that I'm non-monogamous so alone time probably becomes more of an issue for me than it does for monogamous people. Stuff that's usually a problem in monogamous relationships, like mismatched libidos, is rarely an issue for me. I'm not actually thinking about destructive emotional expression as much as how a woman's emotions can overload her and make her ignore reason and rationality. Men get to that point far less often, of course having steadier hormones throughout the month is…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 11:12 PM
1

You don't really seem to notice power dynamics, social dynamics, that all come from social status mattering and being real. Especially to women. I do notice power and social dynamics. I just don't think we see it in the same way. Doesn't make any sense. There's always dread in a relationship with anyone of value. Sure, most people fear losing their partner from time to time. But being controlled by this fear or using this fear to control someone else is not how I like to operate. I'm very in tou…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 10:42 PM
1

Edit: Accidentally posted before I was finished. Errr you're conflating multiple things here. I'm talking about the social game. That is setup by society and women largely. Idgaf if it's a patriarchy or a matriarchy, those are all details. We're not going to agree here and I don't want to get into this further so I'm just going to move on to the rest of your comment. The party that wants the other less holds more power in the relationship. Who fears losing the other more? That one wants the othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 09:18 PM
1

How not? The game is created by society and women in no small part. Really? Women created this dynamic? Women put themselves in a position where they have very little economic and political power? Women decided to be traded to men like cattle? Why would women set up a system where they couldn't vote or own property until recently? I agree that there is a system in place but it was set up by men, women played along because if they didn't they were literally beaten into submission or tossed aside.…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 08:07 PM
5

Historically, my understanding is that marriage was mostly transactional because women were more like property. However, there are plenty of cultures that were exceptions to this. These days I think some marriage/relationships are transactional and some aren't. Anyone who says "All relationships are ____" is just wrong. Human interaction is too vast, complicated, and diverse to make such a statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 07:05 PM
1

It is a game, and women tend to be highly aware of this game as it is similar to the game that pervades all of social dynamics and hierarchies, not just romantic relationships. To some people it is, but not everyone plays your game. Do you deny the power imbalance behind every relationship? Yup, because not every relationship has a power imbalance. All my successful relationships have a healthy "balance of power" because it's not even about power. I express my needs in the relationship, they exp…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 06:17 PM
1

Okay. Well, good luck in your marriage!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 06:04 PM
1

What makes them an evil?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:51 PM
1

I am simply saying that the wife is fooling herself if she thinks she can demand that he compartmentalize his emotions. I agree that compartmentalizing emotions doesn't work but I don't see anything in his post about the wife demanding this. It's common for people who are new to open relationships/polyamory/non-monogamy to demand that their partner not develop feelings for someone else. One of the first lessons you learn in non-monogamy is that this is laughable, you can't control someone else's…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:48 PM
1

Simply because they are necessary. You want to shit on women who are literally holding your marriage together.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:29 PM
1

y tho? Because without them your marriage would be failing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:18 PM
1

Imagine if the genders were reversed. TRP would be foaming at the mouth about how women branch swing and aren't loyal or capable of love. I agree that it is completely unfair for a man to require monogamy if he is not being monogamous himself. I would never ever EVER let a guy cheat, even if I was too sick to have sex. Marriage vows are for SICKNESS AND HEALTH. It's not cheating. Cheating is delinerately done without telling your partner. You don't know what vows they took. And even if they did …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:17 PM
1

Imagine if the genders were reversed. TRP would be foaming at the mouth about how women branch swing and aren't loyal or capable of love. I agree that it is completely unfair for a man to require monogamy if he is not being monogamous himself. I would never ever EVER let a guy cheat, even if I was too sick to have sex. Marriage vows are for SICKNESS AND HEALTH. It's not cheating. Cheating is delinerately done without telling your partner. You don't know what vows they took. And even if they did …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:17 PM
1

Imagine if the genders were reversed. TRP would be foaming at the mouth about how women branch swing and aren't loyal or capable of love. I agree that it is completely unfair for a man to require monogamy if he is not being monogamous himself. I would never ever EVER let a guy cheat, even if I was too sick to have sex. Marriage vows are for SICKNESS AND HEALTH. It's not cheating. Cheating is delinerately done without telling your partner. You don't know what vows they took. And even if they did …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:17 PM
1

This. Strictly monogamous people don't seem to understand this concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:12 PM
1

This. Strictly monogamous people don't seem to understand this concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:12 PM
1

This. Strictly monogamous people don't seem to understand this concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:12 PM
1

My world view is pretty narrow I guess as I'm apparently very conventional and really couldn't be in a situation like you described. It's really not for everyone and it's hard to do well. Being in a relationship with one person is difficult, being in a relationship with several is even more difficult. It should always be something that everyone is enthusiastically doing. I've met a lot of people that are just doing it because it's what their partner wants and they are more afraid of losing them …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:09 PM
2

It's silly to me that you can simultaneously recognize the importance of these women in keeping your marriage together and yet you still want to call them names. Your marriage would be in shambles without these "nasty ass thots." I think they deserve more respect from you, even though you clearly feel insecure and threatened by them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:02 PM
1

It's super dumb. Source: I am a woman who practices non-monogamy with great success and anyone who is non-monogamous will tell you that DADT is the rookiest of rookie mistakes you could make if you're considering opening a relationship. Better to just end the relationship if you can't handle the realities of opening it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 04:58 PM
1

Saying "this dude is straight up having an affair" is not stating an opinion, it's a judgement on their situation that's meant to sound like some sort of fact. Affairs are something done behind someone's back and without their knowledge. This is not an affair.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 04:48 PM
1

If I was sick and the most important thing to my husband was whether he could get sex elsewhere, I'd feel super betrayed. He didn't necessarily say that this was the most important thing. But in a partnership, in any partnership, it's important that both peoples needs are being met. It sounds like they're both trying to get his needs met. I hope that in return, he is meeting her needs as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 03:16 PM
1

If I was sick and the most important thing to my husband was whether he could get sex elsewhere, I'd feel super betrayed. He didn't necessarily say that this was the most important thing. But in a partnership, in any partnership, it's important that both peoples needs are being met. It sounds like they're both trying to get his needs met. I hope that in return, he is meeting her needs as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 03:16 PM
1

If I was sick and the most important thing to my husband was whether he could get sex elsewhere, I'd feel super betrayed. He didn't necessarily say that this was the most important thing. But in a partnership, in any partnership, it's important that both peoples needs are being met. It sounds like they're both trying to get his needs met. I hope that in return, he is meeting her needs as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 03:16 PM
1

If I was sick and the most important thing to my husband was whether he could get sex elsewhere, I'd feel super betrayed. He didn't necessarily say that this was the most important thing. But in a partnership, in any partnership, it's important that both peoples needs are being met. It sounds like they're both trying to get his needs met. I hope that in return, he is meeting her needs as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 03:16 PM
1

If I was sick and the most important thing to my husband was whether he could get sex elsewhere, I'd feel super betrayed. He didn't necessarily say that this was the most important thing. But in a partnership, in any partnership, it's important that both peoples needs are being met. It sounds like they're both trying to get his needs met. I hope that in return, he is meeting her needs as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 03:16 PM
1

I'm non-monogamous and I know lots of non-monogamous married couples. This situation, as described, seems 100% fine to me. I have no problem with sex work and I love that everyone has communicated their needs. He isn't making his wife do anything she can't or doesn't want to do and he isn't having to give up his own needs to remain faithful to her. As far as the sugar baby and wife meeting goes, this is also fine with me. In non-monogamy, the other partners of your partner are called metamours a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 03:11 PM
1

If he really needs sexual release and can't get it at home, that's one thing. But this dude is straight-up having an affair. Monogamy isn't for everyone. There's "cheating" and then there's "non-monogamy" and this is non-monogamy. He communicated his needs, the wife is on board...Everything sounds like it's on the up and up. Does that mean the arrangement is right for everyone? No. But it sounds like this is how they want to handle it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 02:51 PM
1

I didn't write that first part so I'm not sure why you're quoting it back to me. RP is great for serious relationships too. RP uses a lot of women's game on women. How 'abusive' one wants to be is up to each. Looking at relationships like a "game" will only attract other people who view it as a "game." Being competitive, trying to get the upper hand...these are all things people do in war, not relationships. Treating your partner like a manipulatable enemy is not healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 02:45 PM
1

It's not that I don't believe that you've had awful experiences and met some truly awful people, it's just that I know that not all people are awful. Isolation is a natural and understandable way to respond to having met so many awful people but it also guarantees that you never meet any good ones either. At the end of the day, though, that's your prerogative.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 05:28 AM
1

It sounds like you've been through some shit. Shitty people will see you as a resource but that's definitely not how all people operate.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 04:04 AM
1

I think sexuality is pretty fluid, honestly. Identifying as bi just helps other people understand me better. So your experience with your ex-husband just completely put you off of men?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 02:35 AM
1

Are you a RP guy now?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 02:16 AM
2

Amen to that. I'm bi but I've been preferring women these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 02:11 AM
1

Unfortunately not wanting this is 'entitlement' so what can ya do~ You can stop entering into relationships with these people. Have the self respect to create boundaries for yourself. These women aren't obligated to give you anything, so why continue to allow yourself to be used if it's hurting you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 02:10 AM
1

That's sounds so shitty, I'm so sorry.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 02:06 AM
1

Only someone with unhealthy attachment would respond well to dread game. Dread game is abusive, destructive behavior if you're in a relationship with a healthy partner because consciously trying to cause fear in a partner is abusive behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 02:03 AM
1

Some women like to be hit, like to be raped, they want to be a victim, they want a gun in their mouth, whatever the specifics are it doesnt matter. People just need to match up. Sure. I don't see a problem with consensually acting out sexual fantasies. People dont care about consent if you cross a line with someone who is 1 foot out of the relationship style. I'm confused by what you mean by this. Care to explain a little further?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 01:43 AM
1

For me, no. I'm non-monogamous, though. I mean, it can definitely help to have another partner around when I'm going through a break up with someone else. But being with someone else doesn't diminish my feelings for another person, only time does that. Edit: I should add that I'm a feminist woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 01:32 AM
1

The idea of a "healthy relationship" makes my skin crawl, I dont even understand the desire for that. That seems like a "medium" level of emotion at all times, I prefer the dramatic contrast between zero emotion and the high amount that toxic relationships provide. I'm a very emotional person. I don't think I feel any less in a healthy relationship, I just express myself better. I still feel jealousy, fear, and anger (I'm ethically non-monogamous too so those emotions can come up often) but I ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/17 12:51 AM
1

Its like how I like rape because women trained me to Do you actually mean rape or consensual domination? Are you openly admitting that you're a rapist? You gotta start all over again and hope this bitch keeps her mouth shut. Or, you know, you could say "I don't like that." But I suppose communicating with your sexual partner didn't occur to you. Can you identify what would further the feminist movement by changing male behavior? Sure, it looks something like men and women changing problematic th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/17 11:53 PM
1

1: Many times! 2: It's the worst! Gut wrenching every time. A constant feeling of my heart dropping into my stomach. It's very painful and theres nothing that you can do about it except wait for it to eventually go away. It always lasts for longer than I think it will, too. 3: I've learned so much about myself and what I want/don't want because of heartbreaks. After enough time has passed I always come to see them as necessary learning experiences, even the really messy ones. I've learned how to…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/17 08:47 PM
0

I just want to chime in on this: The basis of affirmative consent is to transfer responsibility of consent from the woman to the man. The man is the one that needs to get a yes or consent from the woman and make sure she is doing ok in sex. Affirmative consent goes all ways. In any sexual encounter, there needs to be affirmative consent from every party involved. I don't care if the sex is straight, gay, or a massive fuck-to-death orgy...Every participant needs to have given their affirmative co…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/17 08:33 PM
1

I was punished over and over for being good. What good is it to be good when it leaves you alone and used? Let's unpack this. You were punished for being good. You were used and left alone. What does good mean here? Does it mean sacrificing your own well being for the sake of trying to be what someone else wants so that they'll have sex with you? Because that's not being good that's being a doormat. To me it sounds like you've been in relationships/situations where you were being abused/taken ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/17 08:15 PM
1

That doesnt mean that behavioral psychology doesnt work anymore But it doesn't mean that behaviorism accounts for all of learning. This is why behaviorist language learning models don't work. If they want to influence behavior than they would, if they dont want the world to change thats ok too, I dont care either way, the current world benefits me I'm not interested in performative feminism. Men who claim to be feminists just to get laid aren't really useful to the movement anyway. Because if yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/17 07:16 PM
1

One side doesn't see it as transactional because it is so available, it is like paying for air This is incorrect. Research done by the CDC has found a generally equal number of "incel" men and women. if you are gasping for air, it is hard to see it as anything but transactional. Sex with women is not necessary for your survival. You may WANT sex but that does not mean you can't exist without it. But if your desire is so overwhelming that you're having trouble functioning in society there are sol…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/17 06:34 PM
1

I will say it again: Only someone who views sex as transactional will reward you with sex. I never said there were no women who view sex as transactional (although your link only proves that women are attracted to financial success). If you want to find someone that views sex as transactional, then by all means keep thinking the way you're thinking. And while you're at it...Why not just pay for sex...? That's a clear cut transaction that gets you the results you want, why bother trying to be rew…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/17 10:58 PM
1

feminism is supposed to train men to behave in a way that they deem productive to society. How do you trian dogs? Well you give them a treat when they are good and scold them when they are bad. It doesnt matter if the reasoning behind the behavior is to get the treat, only that the behavior is correct. You are not dogs. Psychology has advanced well beyond the limitations behavioral psychology (which is what you're describing). Women aren't here to "train" you to do anything. We do not exist for …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/17 10:49 PM
1

Because you can't seem to have a discussion with me without resorting to using personal attacks and putting words in my mouth I no longer view this discussion as productive and I won't be responding. Best of luck!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 09:05 AM
1

I 100% agree. I am just trying to explain why it's called "toxic masculinity." It's "toxic" when it's harmful. It's "masculinity" when it's behavior that is traditionally rewarded or permitted in men/discouraged in women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 04:45 AM
1

I am bisexual (or pansexual depending on your vocabulary). I am attracted to the same things in both women and men. I am typically attracted to more androgynous men and women but there have been lots of exceptions. I am attracted to passion and talent, empathy, self awareness, confidence, and a high IQ and EQ. Style is also a big thing for me...I love a person with a sense of style. Most of all, someone that loves to laugh/have fun. You don't have to be full of joy 24/7 but you do have to be cap…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 04:20 AM
-2

Threatening feminists to sleep with "kind and compassionate" men "or else" doesn't strike me as the sort of thing a kind and compassionate person would do. In fact, it strikes me as something a controlling, manipulative, and abusive person would do in order to get what they want. If you don't want to be a decent human being for the sake of being a decent human being then by all means, don't. Because only someone who views sex as transactional will reward you with sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 03:42 AM
0

Threatening feminists to sleep with "kind and compassionate" men "or else" doesn't strike me as the sort of thing a kind and compassionate person would do. In fact, it strikes me as something a controlling, manipulative, and abusive person would do in order to get what they want. If you don't want to be a decent human being for the sake of being a decent human being then by all means, don't. Because only someone who views sex as transactional will reward you with sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 03:42 AM
3

So aggression is masculine when it's "cool headed" and feminine when it's "reactionary?" So if an abusive man beats his wife to death for not doing as he says he's being feminine? How convenient that negative aggression is feminine and positive aggression is masculine...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 02:40 AM
2

But aggression and stoicism are feminine traits?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 01:47 AM
2

I agree with this. I'd like to see more men fighting for birth control options in conjunction with paternal surrender but I do not think that birth control is sufficient in and of itself for men or women. Paternal surrender is reasonable to me as long as the woman is given enough time to terminate the pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 01:43 AM
3

So, in your mind, when a man exhibits any negative behavior he is being feminine but when he exhibits positive behavior he is being masculine?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 01:20 AM
1

What do you think about male birth control as an option for men?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 01:15 AM
1

"Falling apart" to me means any negative or childish reaction. Acting more aggressive/angry, stonewalling, over protesting...Just acting "hyper masculine" whenever they're worried about being considered feminine. "Falling apart" doesn't always look like crying uncontrollably.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 01:03 AM
1

I'd be more inclined to support a mans right to choose if a woman's right to choose was well supported and legal everywhere. As it stands, many women don't even have the choice so why does it make sense for men to be given that choice BEFORE women. If anything a woman's right to choose should be secured before we discuss a mans.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 12:54 AM
1

It's called "toxic masculinity" because it refers to the toxic behaviors that men are rewarded for. Being overly aggressive and violent is "toxic" behavior because it hurts women and men (men are often the perpetrators of violence against both women and men). Not being able to identify or express emotions is "toxic" to men because it leads to unhealthy expressions of emotion and a higher rate of suicide. Aggression, stoicism...We think of these things as being "masculine" traits because they are…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/17 12:15 AM
1

And who is in charge of the boogieman known as the patriarchy? Men. This is a common misconception. Both men and women uphold the patriarchy. However, it is true that the majority of political and economic power is held by men and as a group they are better equipped to uphold the patriarchy. (Note: I did not say that ALL men hold political and economic power, just that statistically, the people in positions of economic and political power are more often men than women). Feminists ignore other fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/17 11:33 PM
1

You sort of contradicted yourself. If nurture is at its strongest when we are children then couldn't that account for gendered habits in toy selection? I looked up the study and as far as I can tell these children weren't prevented from interacting with toys before the study so it's very possible that their parents had already encouraged gendered toys. For instance, t's pretty common in the US for gendered products to be picked out for children before they're even born.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/17 10:38 PM
1

It certainly is not a "fact" that feminists "always label men the bad guys." Though I do acknowledge that this may be a feeling you have based on your experiences. I am a feminist and I strongly believe that men are negatively effected by the patriarchy. "The patriarchy" is a system, not a person or a group of people. The patriarchy is what makes it hard for us to see men as victims of domestic violence and sexual assault at the hands of women. This is harmful to men. The patriarchy makes it har…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/17 10:29 PM
1

At what age is this "self evident?" Because this would have to be evident before a child has ANY interaction with the outside world otherwise any differences could very well be chalked up to "nurture."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/17 10:09 PM
1

Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists (TERFS) do believe that gender is a construct (part of a system called the patriarchy). Therefore, gender does not exist outside of that system. From their perspective technically everyone is misgendered. My understanding is that since the point of feminism is to tear down that system, there just isn't any point in focusing on trans people or trans issues because once the system is torn down gender identity won't be an issue. I dont consider myself a TERF but…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/17 09:58 PM
2

Agreed. I do think that open and honest communication could be helpful in a mismatched libido situation but only in that it would lead you to discover that you're sexually incompatible. Once this is discovered I think that the only solution is to try to open up the relationship (this is difficult to do well) or to end it. Solutions that require one person to have more or less sex than they're comfortable with for an extended period of time typically just don't work out long term. Best for both p…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/17 09:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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