~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | Cut my date short at the first sign of disrespectThat's absolutely hilarious! It's incredible how they twist their job titles and job descriptions. I once talked to a guy on OLD who said he was a Nike athlete. When I asked about his career, he said that he was actually a cashier at the Nike store. Also, my LVM brother who is *actually* a professional athlete regularly calls himself a "political scientist" in conversation. He majored in poli sci at a state college where he got a C average and skipped half his classes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/21 08:39 PM |
| 11 | Cut my date short at the first sign of disrespectHe works for the Army Corps of Engineers. I didn't know he worked for the military before agreeing to the date; I have a personal rule to never date someone in the military because it's generally a cesspool of LVM. Before the date, he told me that he was an "environmental scientist." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/21 07:32 PM |
| 7 | Cut my date short at the first sign of disrespectI love your response!! I'm so sorry you have to work under a scrote like him though-- he sounds like an infuriatingly condescending narcissist! I'm not sure I would be able to maintain my composure the way you did. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/21 07:29 PM |
| 49 | Cut my date short at the first sign of disrespectA male FDS lurker just sent me the following hilarious DM: "For some reason I'm banned from FDS, but is it possible the guy said it went over your head because it was boring? And that because it's not an inherently interesting convo that maybe he was apologising for the bad convo and acknowledging the bad convo? I know that I would say phrases like that without meaning to be insulting. And I am someone with a lot of social awkwardness like that guy." In no universe does saying, "I'm sure that we… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/21 04:42 PM |
| 61 | Cut my date short at the first sign of disrespectI've only reached this point because of extensive past experience making the same mistake again and again, but I'm grateful I'm here now haha. Thanks for the support! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/21 04:35 PM |
| 76 | Cut my date short at the first sign of disrespectThis made my day sis. It's even funnier because it's probably not that much of an exaggeration | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/21 04:33 PM |
| 24 | Cut my date short at the first sign of disrespectGuys will do this no matter what your academic credentials are. I'm the first author/primary investigator of studies that have been published in peer-reviewed journals-- he knew this, and still talked to me like I was an idiot. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/21 04:18 PM |
| 36 | Out of curiosity, what’s the special flavor of scrote from where you’re from?Portland, OR: Men with scraggly beards that make them look like homeless people who monologue for hours about the superiority of anarcho-communism and treat you as if you're either ignorant or bigoted if you disagree. Men who see going to strip clubs and paying for OnlyFans as a contribution to the feminist movement. White guys who see themselves as anti-racist heroes for breaking windows and throwing bottles at the police. "Ethically non-monogamous," hold the ethical, narcissists. Effeminate, w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/21 04:47 PM |
| 14 | Do not feel bad for having physical standards - women deserve to be with a man they find physically attractiveI think you're right—they have repressed rage towards women collectively because of the individual women who have rejected them in the past (and the women that they know would reject them, given the opportunity). Also I want to affirm that being on the receiving end of this kind of behavior is borderline traumatic to go through on a regular basis. Adding the way we're objectified constantly to these unexpected outbursts of anger, I really believe every woman has some degree of posttraumatic stre… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/21 06:34 AM |
| 10 | Since you joined FDS, what are the ‘pink-flags’ or little LVM behavior you started picking up on that you didn’t notice before or would let slide?I love that quote!! Saving | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/21 02:21 AM |
| 81 | Since you joined FDS, what are the ‘pink-flags’ or little LVM behavior you started picking up on that you didn’t notice before or would let slide?I'm glad you cut him off—that sounds like classic breadcrumbing. Here are some pink flags I've started to notice: Following a lot of women on social media Using Reddit (all of Reddit except FDS is a cesspool of LVM) Too many appearance compliments Texting back in the same minute I reply (this makes me feel suffocated, and is often associated with love bombing) Failing to express interest in my work (I'm studying to become a psychotherapist, so there's a lot of material for conversation there if … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/21 02:01 AM |
| 156 | Relationship Ambiguity Is The New Backlash, and It's Dangerous and Effective Because of Its SubtletyThis is incredibly insightful and well-written. It should go in the handbook. Really, an entire book could be (and needs to be) written on this subject. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 03:22 PM |
| 2 | Interpreting men's social media useYou can only find out if you've had a conversation through DMs. Then, when you go into your messages, there will be a green circle next to the person's username if they're currently online. If they're not, it says, "Active [ ] minutes ago." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/21 11:13 PM |
| 4 | Interpreting men's social media useThere's a green circle next to the person's username if they're currently online. If they're not, it says, "Active [ ] minutes ago." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/21 11:12 PM |
| 5 | Interpreting men's social media useThose are great tips, thanks for sharing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/21 07:27 PM |
| 17 | Interpreting men's social media useI should have specified that when I said they're not "scrolling through posts" I meant posts other than soft porn. I agree that soft porn viewing accounts for a huge amount of the time that men spend on social media. I tried to make that clear in the post as a whole, but I should have made that sentence clearer. I just edited it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/21 07:23 PM |
| 3 | Rural American LVM starter packI just put them on a Word doc and took a screenshot of it haha (I'm extremely tech challenged so I didn't try anything more sophisticated). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 03:09 AM |
| 4 | Rural American LVM starter packNo, you should make that one! I'd love to see it. I haven't spent enough time there to feel like I could do it justice. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 01:38 AM |
| 10 | Rural American LVM starter packThis is painfully accurate hahahaha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/21 12:00 AM |
| 19 | Pacific Northwest LVM starter packUghh yeah it's horrible. The photo of the guy with the antlers and dyed beard is from the Country Fair haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 11:57 PM |
| 13 | Pacific Northwest LVM starter packThanks for responding! I would love to live in a warmer place (speaking in terms of both social norms and climate). The only thing that's scared me away from the south is politics, since I'm left of center (although I'm to the right of everyone I know in Portland, since it's so full of anarcho-communists). It seems like the larger cities in the south might line up pretty well with my beliefs, though. I'll definitely look into them more! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 10:40 PM |
| 11 | Sexual FitnessGetting cardio exercise 6 days a week has increased my physical confidence immensely, and by extension my sexual confidence. I also agree with the commenters who have discussed getting sex toys. The Hitachi Magic Wand is my go-to. I've also heard great things about the Womanizer-- I'm thinking about getting one. Paying more for a sex toy is definitely worth it-- cheap vibrators haven't done anything for me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 10:27 PM |
| 13 | Rural American LVM starter packMe too! An international LVM field guide, with regional subspecies, would be so great to have | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 09:37 PM |
| 23 | Rural American LVM starter packThis sounds like it's made up but it's true: that guy ran for Libertarian Party chairman, and did a strip tease at the Libertarian National Convention in 2016: https://www.cnn.com/videos/tv/2016/05/30/libertarian-convention-strip-tease-daily-hit-newday.cnn | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 09:25 PM |
| 60 | Rural American LVM starter packI had way too much fun making the Pacific Northwest LVM starter pack (focusing on men in Portland and Seattle), so I decided to make one for rural America too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 08:52 PM |
| 17 | Pacific Northwest LVM starter packSame!! What region of the US are you thinking about moving to? I'm stuck here until I finish grad school, but I've been researching places to move when I can. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 08:50 PM |
| 21 | Pacific Northwest LVM starter packCongrats on moving away! I'm stuck here until I finish grad school, sadly. I've been researching lots of different areas to move when I'm able to. Do you feel comfortable sharing what region you moved to or what region you feel like has the most HVM and HVW? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 08:36 PM |
| 67 | Pacific Northwest LVM starter packYou're so right! Virtually every guy who's in a relationship here is EtHiCaLlY NoNmOnOgAmOuS. It's an epidemic of Peter Pan Syndrome, enabled by an abundance of pickmes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/21 07:34 PM |
| 7 | Why More Women Are Saying No to Casual SexThank you for responding! I live in a city that is dominated by libfems/pickmeishas, so I've been having an incredibly hard time finding likeminded friends here who I feel comfortable opening up to. This is a great reminder to try to strengthen all of my long distance friendships though. I'm thinking of trying Bumble BFF when the lockdown ends to try to find FDS-minded friends. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/20 05:07 AM |
| 14 | Why More Women Are Saying No to Casual SexAre you me?? I relate to everything you wrote. I've just recently had the same realization that I don't know how to be intimate and vulnerable without sex. I've prematurely slept with everyone I've ever dated in the past just because I wanted human connection and felt like that was the only way to get it. I've been celibate now for about 6 months—by far the longest I've ever gone without sex since I was 17. Both the pandemic and FDS philosophy have caused me to decide to take a break from dating… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/20 03:10 AM |
| 1 | I feel sorry for this women. She's being stalked and harassed by an older guy who used to be her boss!I want to also note that much more research addresses the likelihood of a woman being victimized when there is a gun in her household rather than the likelihood of a woman being victimized outside the home. In some of these studies, they don't take into account whether the gun belongs to the husband or wife, meaning that it's an open question whether the women are trained to use it or not. Most of the fatalities recorded in these studies are due to domestic violence, although research has also s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/20 08:08 PM |
| 1 | I feel sorry for this women. She's being stalked and harassed by an older guy who used to be her boss!My understanding is that it comes down to a combination of biological differences in strength and women's greater likelihood of hesitating before firing or thinking that it will be sufficient to simply pull the gun in order to scare the man away. This is the case even if the woman is highly trained in how to use the gun. It's hard to make that split-second decision to determine whether actually firing the gun is justified, and in the time it takes to decide, the man can simply take the gun from … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/20 07:58 PM |
| 5 | I feel sorry for this women. She's being stalked and harassed by an older guy who used to be her boss!I'll do that! I agree, more women need to know about this. Edited to add that my post seems to have been removed for some reason by either the automoderator or an individual mod. I guess it was seen as too political(?) It's sad to not be able to discuss topics like that on here, though, especially since I don't have a political agenda. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/20 05:32 PM |
| 20 | I feel sorry for this women. She's being stalked and harassed by an older guy who used to be her boss!Thank you! I work as an advocate for survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking, so I often have to correct misinformation about gun ownership ostensibly increasing women's safety. I was sad to see the suggestion to purchase a gun upvoted on here (and I don't say this because I'm politically motivated-- I'm an independent. I say it because the research literature so clearly demonstrates that guns decrease, rather than increase, women's safety.) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/20 04:13 PM |
| 72 | A picture is worth a thousand wordsI've seen multiple guys on OLD photoshopping their butt to look bigger... Why do they think we're attracted to that just because they are? And how do they think they think we won't be able to tell it's photoshopped? Truly checking all the boxes of delusion. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/20 07:50 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered December 20 2020100%. I was afraid to even tell people about the problem for fear they would laugh and trivialize it. It took moving across the country for me to finally be able to end the dependency-- that complete change of environment and routine was the only thing that worked for me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/20 06:32 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered December 20 2020I relate hard to this! Since I was 18, I've used sex to try to fill the gaps in my life caused by loneliness, touch starvation, and need for attention and validation. I've come to realize that it isn't a bad thing to have those needs but they can be met in other ways that don't require me to sacrifice so much and risk so much. I've been celibate for about 6 months. I have enough regrets from my pickme days to last a lifetime. I also used to smoke every day, and am down to about once a month. It'… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/20 03:30 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered December 20 2020Thank you queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/20 03:18 PM |
| 51 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered December 20 2020It's ironic that a dating sub convinced me to take a break from dating, but it's absolutely the best thing I've done for myself this year. I had been compulsively using OLD for ages, desperately seeking connection and validation, and finally deleted my accounts. Without being distracted by LVM, I feel so focused and motivated on self-improvement. I just got my grades back for my first term of grad school and I got a 4.0 (something I never did in undergrad). I'm also at the highest level of fitne… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/20 05:07 AM |
| 5 | Why it's important to date multiple guys100% this. Looking through the list of who they follow on social media is one of the best ways to weed out LVM who are able to put up a good front in initial conversations. So many guys act as though their following lists are invisible to others-- either that or they have no shame lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 06:41 PM |
| 7 | Some green flags that I have noticed with my current dating partner.I'm so happy for you sis! This post was refreshing to read. Where did the two of you meet? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 05:22 PM |
| 3 | Combatting touch starvationThese are great ideas, thanks! Also congrats on your new puppy!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/20 11:17 PM |
| 12 | Combatting touch starvationI'm right there with you sis. I'm so grateful to have discovered this community. All of you ladies give me the reminders I need and the strength to keep my boundaries in place. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/20 09:38 PM |
| 7 | Combatting touch starvationAhh that's great to hear! My dog isn't very cuddly (she tolerates being cuddled for a short time and then will move a couple feet away haha). What breed is yours? When I'm able to get another dog, I'd like to find one who's really attached. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/20 09:33 PM |
| 7 | Combatting touch starvationThank you! That's an important reminder. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/20 09:08 PM |
| 34 | Combatting touch starvationIt's validating that I'm not the only one with a strong need for touch. I'm glad to hear that you found a HVM who fulfills that need for you! Seeing success stories on here makes my day :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/20 08:03 PM |
| 30 | Combatting touch starvationI relate to feeling affection and appreciation deprived too! I'm in grad school to become a therapist and the more experience I get in the mental health field the more I realize that a huge part of the effectiveness of therapy is simply in validating people and giving them recognition for their successes and strengths. I'm developing a theory that almost no one gets the amount of affection and validation they need to be optimally psychologically healthy. Knowing about your own needs (both touch … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/20 07:58 PM |
| 191 | Sad but trueThis is such an important point. I always recommend watching the documentary This Film is Not Yet Rated. It's directed by the same person who directed The Hunting Ground and The Invisible War, and it explores how female pleasure is censored in films while male pleasure and violence is deemed acceptable for children to see. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/20 06:24 PM |
| 49 | A little humour for your MondayExactly! It definitely reflects sexist paternalism. They really think they know our bodies better than we do. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 10:39 PM |
| 112 | A little humour for your MondayThis is hands down the best meme I've ever encountered--sums up all of my sexual experiences in one photo. I've only been able to cum during sex if I'm either touching myself or using a vibrator at the same time (and one of my exes had the audacity to ask me to stop using vibrators). With my most recent ex, I tried to explicitly show him how I liked to be touched and he acted turned off by my giving instructions and then never tried to do it in the future, as if it was too difficult to even atte… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 07:45 PM |
| 3 | How many of you have been in sexually coercive situations/relationships? For me it's been pretty much 90% of men I've dated. And it's haunting me to this dayI'm so sorry that happened to you. I had the same experience. To this day, I don't think he understands that what he did meets the legal definition of rape. I tried to explain it, but I was a pickme back then so I didn't put it in strong enough terms. I really wonder how many women have experienced this but don't recognize it as rape (and how many men have done this but don't recognize it as rape). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/20 08:06 PM |
| 103 | My boyfriend was worth the wait! He’s been taking care of me since I broke my foot.This warmed my cynical heart. I love seeing this kind of content on here; it gives me hope. I'm so happy for you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/20 06:05 AM |
| 2 | Dating again... But with FDSThanks for responding— that makes sense that med school could increase the percent of at least seemingly HV men. I'm feeling discouraged because I'm in a fairly large city (the population is around 2 million), yet I only see handsome (let alone HV) men like once a year... It doesn't help that I'm in a female-dominated field. Definitely time to move 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/12/20 09:44 PM |
| 9 | LVM movie red flags! 🚩Thank you!! It may be the most misunderstood/misinterpreted book of all time imo. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/12/20 07:25 PM |
| 9 | Dating again... But with FDSThat's wonderful! Curious where you live if there's an "abundance of kind, successful, handsome men" there. I know there have been posts about where to find (seemingly) HV men, but I have yet to encounter a city/region/country where that's true... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/12/20 07:07 PM |
| 16 | Types of shitty sae that need to die with the patriarchySeconded! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/20 08:26 PM |
| 31 | I wanted to share my experience once I discovered FDS and therapy.This is spot on!!! I'm still in the anger phase right now, hoping I'll get to acceptance soon haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 06:56 PM |
| 4 | A tip on vetting for political suitability in the U.S.I've been trying to find a site where I can do this, and the only legit one I could find requires a full, exact DOB. Could anyone help me out with a link? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/20 04:27 PM |
| 30 | What literature would you recommend that directly (or indirectly!) promotes FDSI love Men Explain Things to Me! In terms of fiction, I recommend Pride and Prejudice (if you haven't read it already), Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale, Edith Wharton's The House of Mirth, Joyce Carol Oates' Blonde, Barbara Kingsolver's The Bean Trees... I feel like I'm forgetting a lot right now, so I may come back and edit this later. In terms of nonfiction, I recommend Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own, Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth (contains some inaccurate statistics, but still wort… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/10/20 07:20 PM |
| 29 | Adult man has a sad because even the literal child that he’s been screwing knows that he sucks in bed.This is a great summary. I relate to the third bullet point so much; in my last relationship, I tried to both tell and show him how I liked to be touched and he acted as if it were weird for me to communicate my preferences, as if it were taking us "out of the moment," and as if I were insulting him/emasculating him by bringing him up. And he was a feminist-identified man who dedicated all of his free time to progressive causes. Libfem sex positivity is such a lie, as it produces men like this w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/10/20 07:02 PM |
| 4 | Always Be Ready To LeaveAgree with all of this except there's research demonstrating that women who own guns are more likely to have their guns used against them than to successfully use them to defend themselves—yes, even if they're trained in how to use guns. Lots of great advice here, though; thank you for posting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 11:59 PM |
| 3 | Find a healthy obsession, something you never want to stop engaging in. If you have one, what is your obsession?My two obsessions are distance running and literature (both reading and creative writing). Last year I was running 50-60 miles a week and felt better physically than I ever have, as well as psychologically more resilient and positive. Right now I have a calf injury, but I've still been doing lots of cross-training. I love getting to the point where my body releases endorphin almost every day. I'm an endorphin junkie rather than an adrenaline junkie. I'm also working on a semi-autobiographical bo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 06:16 PM |
| 10 | Beautifulpeople: An OLD site where disgusting scrotes can rate women as “absolutely hideous”This reminds me of the rateme subreddit, which has an endless stream of average men getting rated as 8s by pickmes and other men, and beautiful women rated as 6s by men who are clearly incels. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 03:53 PM |
| 6 | After a guy gets sex do they generally move on if theyre not interested romantically ?I've had the same experience many times where after sex the guy doesn't contact me or bread crumbs me for a month, at which point he reaches out again to try to hook up, often being very complimentary and attentive until we had sex again (I used to be a pickmeisha). Then the entire cycle repeated for as long as I tolerated it. From what I've heard from other women, this one month cycle (give or take a week or two) is extremely common-- more common than simply ghosting after sex. I've even heard … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 03:42 PM |
| 9 | I Don’t Want To Date An American GuyI second this! It would also be fun to do a thread for the type of LVM in each state in the US-- kind of like a field guide of different species of LVM | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 10:31 PM |
| 38 | If this has been discussed elsewhere please link, but wondering what are some LVM red flags in OLD profiles? Both photos and text.I see any version of, "Don't take yourself too seriously," "I don't take life too seriously," etc. as a red flag. I take myself and my life seriously and I want someone who does the same. I also definitely feel like this is coded language for, "I want to have meaningless hookups with as many women as possible with the lowest possible energy investment and never be called out for being a fuckboy." I also see references to sarcasm as red flags. Almost every guy with this in his bio just wants to b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 10:16 PM |
| 29 | How do you perceive male anger?I definitely have this reaction as well! It can be really hard to determine what is an acceptable expression of anger from a man and what is abusive since there is an inherent power imbalance in virtually every heterosexual relationship. The power imbalance is definitely compounded by trauma history. Since I've experienced abuse in two past relationships, I have a very low threshold for what registers as threatening to me. Your post inspired me to consider in more detail what's an acceptable exp… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 09:55 PM |
| 7 | Found a real intellectualYou got it! He is the guy in the middle hahaha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 04:33 AM |
| 10 | Found a real intellectualTrue 😂 it's such a self-own on multiple levels | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 08:58 PM |
| 20 | Show Recommendations?Unorthodox. It's about an Orthodox Jewish woman who leaves her LVM husband to start a new life for herself and pursue her passion, which is music. It includes a romantic storyline with a guy who seems HV and is extremely enjoyable to look at haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 08:49 PM |
| 3 | Beyond the peen: what are your physical preferences when it comes to men's appearances?Many of you have the same preferences as I do, but I wanted to contribute since I appreciate the importance of redressing the constant gender imbalance in expressing preferences. Tall. Like OP, height is my strongest physical preference. My ideal man is between 6'2" and 6'5." I feel zero attraction to men who are under 5'10." I've been shamed by pickmeishas for this for years, but I own it now. It feels like it's part of my sexual orientation. Fit. It's a cliché, but defined muscle is hot. It ca… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 08:14 PM |
| 23 | Found a real intellectualYou can bet those are participation medals | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 05:00 PM |
| 22 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: September 18 2020This is the best week I've had in a long time! I just found out that I was chosen for one of the only paid internships in my grad program, I've started exercising regularly again, and I'm talking to four guys who seem promising (although I haven't determined yet if any of them are HV). Thankful for this community. I can't believe it was under two months ago that I found FDS, and it's no exaggeration to say that it's changed my life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 12:55 AM |
| 1 | The anti-porn: Share your favorite love scenes from movies/TV here!You raise a lot of good points, although I did acknowledge the failings of the show in my comment, albeit in less detail. From my perspective, though, the show handles sexual assault for the most part from a survivor-centered perspective that actually combats rape culture by showing it for the horrific crime that it is rather than including it in a voyeuristic way to titillate viewers, as GoT and many other shows do. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 02:58 AM |
| 3 | The anti-porn: Share your favorite love scenes from movies/TV here!So true 😂 it's pathetic how transparent it is, and yet so many women still believe it. I'm hopeful that as FDS grows we can open more women's eyes to the obvious. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 05:15 AM |
| 37 | The anti-porn: Share your favorite love scenes from movies/TV here!I love this idea! My favorite love scenes are in Outlander. It's certainly a flawed show and Jamie doesn't always demonstrate HV behavior, but I thought the sex scenes between Jamie and Claire were refreshingly egalitarian with an unusual amount of focus on female pleasure. I also can't recommend the series Unorthodox enough. It's about an Orthodox Jewish woman who decides to leave her LVM husband. I love every scene with her and the new man she meets when she leaves her old life behind, althoug… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/20 07:59 PM |
| 10 | Any FDS attorneys? Please chime in! FDS references website for men?? Feasible?I was just thinking earlier today about how much I wish this existed and then I saw this post! It would have to be constructed really carefully to avoid liability. I wonder if using men's initials could prevent you from being subject to defamation laws (then people could PM the person who posted to get more identifying info privately). If there were separate spreadsheets for each city they would also probably be less likely to be taken down. I have to add that I have absolutely no legal educatio… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 09:26 PM |
| 11 | DAE think that the ratio of attractive women to attractive men is truly insane?I have observed this too! Self-care doesn't seem to account for the extent of the difference. It's like gay men inexplicably have better genes haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 11:32 PM |
| 9 | DAE think that the ratio of attractive women to attractive men is truly insane?Thanks for responding! I would love to, I really need more FDS minded friends. Still have a couple years in grad school left but the pandemic has me spending a lot of time thinking about and researching where I want to go next. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 11:26 PM |
| 9 | DAE think that the ratio of attractive women to attractive men is truly insane?That's helpful to know, thanks for responding and sharing your observations | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 11:20 PM |
| 58 | DAE think that the ratio of attractive women to attractive men is truly insane?That article is really interesting, thanks for sharing. Just surprised they didn't find an even bigger difference haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 06:59 PM |
| 4 | Ladies with a HVM SO: How did you meet?Volunteering for a progressive political campaign. I definitely recommend volunteering as a way of meeting HVM! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 09:34 PM |
| 2 | How to make friends with women?I'd love to get that link too, thanks!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/20 09:09 PM |
| 25 | I’m Declaring Our Right As Women to Have Specific Penis PreferencesThank you!!! Needs to be said. I hate how I've been made to feel shallow for my preferences, and I've internalized that for so long. When a guy is under 6," the sex has never been good for me (and I've come across a disproportionate number of small men, so it's been really hard to navigate this). Unlike most women, I don't like receiving oral very much, and I can't cum that way. I think 7"-8" is perfect. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/20 09:24 PM |
| 5 | What are phrases and strategies men use to make you think he is only sleeping with you when he is actually seeing other women? Not dating now b/c of covid, curious for future"I love you." (I was a pickmeisha back then, so I just assumed that it meant we were exclusive without questioning that.) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/20 08:26 PM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 2020Haha I'm right there with you sis. That's the dream! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 01:02 AM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 2020I have had the exact same experience. It can be so hard to reject someone who checks every other box except for physical attraction, but physical attraction is too important to sacrifice. My last relationship was with a HVM who was not very attractive to me, and my lack of attraction was what ultimately caused me to end the relationship. I felt like there was something wrong with me for not being attracted to him enough, since he was better-looking than average by most standards, but I have a pa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 11:49 PM |
| 16 | Really needed this clarification...Exactly! It's a pet peeve of mine how guys answer the, "I'm weirdly attracted to..." prompt with things almost everyone is attracted to. It's like they're either incredibly boring or afraid to admit to anything outside the norm about themselves that would actually be interesting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/20 09:47 PM |
| 11 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 2020Wow, you inspire me Queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 04:54 AM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 2020I'm so sorry you and your coworker have had to experience that. Glad you're reporting—keep us updated! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 04:53 AM |
| 34 | Im learning everyday with fdsWell said! I was unable to understand this for the longest time. I've been told by guys that I was the "best sex they ever had" only to have them flake on plans/slow respond/bread crumb me afterward. It was incredibly confusing to me in addition to being infuriating. The only explanation that makes sense is the one you provided. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 04:42 PM |
| 17 | I’ve never posted here before but been a lurker for a while, and finally decided to call it quits with my LVM. I saw these two images and it reminded me of y’all! I’m feeling broken right now, but I know this is for the best.This is such a powerful paradigm shift. Congrats on being free of your LVM ex, as bad as it feels right now. You're stronger and more resilient than you think, and you deserve someone who treats you like the Queen you are. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/20 06:49 PM |
| 10 | He's not too busy to text back. He's not having phone issues. He's just a LVM.So true! That's an important point. Also love your self-description 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 10:16 PM |
| 9 | He's not too busy to text back. He's not having phone issues. He's just a LVM.Thanks, sis! I appreciate it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 09:25 PM |
| 1 | FDS approved movie recommendations?Loved it! Julie Delpy (who plays Celine) also wrote and directed a great comedy called 2 Days in Paris | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 08:41 PM |
| 34 | What was one of the most infuriating neg comments an ex LVM/NVM said to you?"You ever go to the gym, skinny?" "You're so fat. Don't you ever work out?" -Negs I got from two different men when I was the same weight (19 BMI and fit enough to run a sub-6:00 mile). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 01:33 AM |
| 3 | My LVM ex lied about his SAT score being higher than mineClassic 😂 Glad to hear that she left him too! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/20 05:18 PM |
| 8 | My LVM ex lied about his SAT score being higher than mineLow value male. The acronyms LVM and HVM (high value male) are used often on this sub as shorthand. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/20 03:08 PM |
| 39 | My LVM ex lied about his SAT score being higher than mineExactly hahaha I stayed with him for far too long, but thanks to discovering this community I'm never going to accept that kind of behavior again! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/20 03:06 PM |
| 12 | MEN ARE SCAMMING CRISIS HOTLINES TO MASTURBATE ON CALLSThat's horrifying, I'm so sorry that happened to you! I work at a confidential location but I'm always afraid that the address will get out somehow. Thanks for the work you do, Queen. I can tell that I'm on the verge of burnout right now but I know how important this work is so I'm trying to motivate myself to continue. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 02:07 AM |
| 44 | MEN ARE SCAMMING CRISIS HOTLINES TO MASTURBATE ON CALLSCan confirm. I work as a crisis line specialist at a nonprofit for survivors of domestic and sexual violence. I once had an obscene caller who called around 30 times in one shift. I've also had men call asking for help with contesting restraining orders that women have filed against them. Truly depraved. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 01:53 AM |
| 2 | Thank you, ALL of youYou inspire me Queen!!! I have BPD traits and struggle with many of the same things; it can make it so difficult to put into practice what I've learned here. Knowing that someone else has been experiencing the same things makes me feel less alone. Thank you for sharing and congrats on what you've accomplished! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 02:37 AM |
| 2 | Reminder: "love" isn't enoughGlad it resonated with you, sis. I'm right there with you in terms of having a hard time putting into practice what I've learned here-- it's still a daily challenge to unlearn the old patterns and conditioning I have. I'm so happy I discovered this community too-- I actually created a Reddit account today just so I could join! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 07:11 AM |
| 8 | Reminder: "love" isn't enoughLearning about attachment styles was life-changing for me too! It gave me so much clarity as to why I felt like I was in love with the NVM I dated in the past, even when they weren't physically attractive or intelligent lol. Their inconsistency and lack of emotional availability activated my anxious attachment. It's been helpful to me also to read about the psych research surrounding intermittent reinforcement, and how powerful it is in conditioning responses. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 05:25 AM |
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