TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

fernprincess Archive

View 11 posts and 144 comments by fernprincess on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
324

FDS HUMORfernprincess/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:17 AM
253

MALE DEPRAVITYfernprincess/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 06:32 PM
170

FDS MOVIES & TVfernprincess/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:52 PM
130

DISCUSSIONfernprincess/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 04:44 PM
81

SHOWER THOUGHTfernprincess/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 05:36 PM
78

STRATEGYfernprincess/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 04:08 PM
44

LEVEL UPfernprincess/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 01:54 PM
43

RED FLAG 🚨fernprincess/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 03:15 PM
32

CULTURAL MISOGYNYfernprincess/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 01:42 AM
28

GLOBAL RESISTANCEfernprincess/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 01:06 PM
1

fernprincess/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:20 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Electric shock collars that fry them when they freak out when a woman says no. Rounding up the insecure ones and dropping them on a desert island. Putting them into a rocket and shooting it into the sun. Otherwise no correction, no change. No consequences, no change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 03:39 PM
1

Most "poly" people I've met are predators or have been groomed by predators. Of course it's usually the women who have been groomed. I'm not shocked about what happened here because they tend to "hunt" for sexual partners within social circles, niche communities, and hobbie groups because people are more trusting if friends and acquaintances know them / vet them. Most of the ones I've met do not disclose if they have a partner or partners because they know it scares people off and that is how a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 01:38 PM
1

Same. I legit have PTSD from/of men. I don’t think I will live with one again, date maybe... live with, no. I have no trust or hope left and no patience to give more men a try. I like Katherine Ryan’s stand up special on Netflix where she talks about not letting men live with you: “35 is waaaay to young to let a man in your house.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 04:47 PM
2

Ugh, flashbacks to useless idiots... Stabbity stab stab.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:15 AM
1

Wise-Jelly - them turning it on us is a defence mechanism called DARVO which stands for deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender. Learning about DARVO blew my mind and has helped me avoid abusers. Here’s a link for more info: https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:02 PM
1

My last two relationships scarily to a T. Both lasted three years and were after dating a regular in-your-face narcissist for over six years. I thought they were “safe” because of their insecurities and self-deprecation, but they were in fact much more dangerous due to their covertness. Now I know this type isn’t sweet and doesn’t just need some love and support —they need to not ever date ever. It takes so long to figure out how effed up they are that by the time you do, you have already invest…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 01:35 PM
7

The big “tell them how you feel” speech that seems to happen in every romantic movie where one of the characters gives a big heartfelt speech revealing how much they love and need the other person. Makes me want to vomit. Never do that in real life. It makes you vulnerable in a bad way and opens you up to being preyed on by a man every time. Let men give you the dramatic speech, but don’t ever fully believe them because they learned to do it from movies and tv and think it will get them the girl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:11 AM
2

I'm sorry but that doesn't mean anything. Men are men and they are not your friends. Have you ever asked him if his gf knows about you and how much you talk? Most girlfriends would not be cool with it, I mean they would say they are, but they would not be. The only time a man has contacted me during a break up and didn't want to sleep with me, he was gay and he was still seeking free emotional labor because he couldn't afford therapy. Might be gay, but he was still a man and using me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:48 PM
2

I am so happy for you, but please be careful, I’ve never had so many LVM prey on me than after I got a house and garage. Men really be lying their asses off to get free housing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 02:20 AM
5

Blockity block block. Not worth it to put yourself through emotional torture for a LVM you’re not dating and don’t really see in person. Side note: male “friends” who only contact you around their breakups or after you just had a breakup are not your friend but trying to see if you will have sex with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 01:11 AM
2

Reality check: he’s not nice. Break up and see how nice he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 01:02 AM
26

Teasing you means he likes you. Nah, sometimes men are just insecure a-holes who can’t have normal conversations with women. Him getting jealous means he really loves you / really cares. No, he’s probably cheating on you and assuming you would do the same because he is and doesn’t understand women think differently than him. Self-deprecation means he isn’t a cocky, arrogant a-hole but a sweet, gentle dude. Nah sis, it means he is insecure and about to destroy you and make you as insecure as him.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 12:56 AM
29

Oh look, my every day reality living in this small town. It attracts sick, mentally unwell LVM like it's some kind of mecca for them plus my two abusive exes are within walking distance. Time to move...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:46 PM
15

Am actively working on not being nice to men this year. Just got back from a food truck with my kids where a creepy guy pulled up next to us on his bike. Instead of getting in line and ordering he just stood and stared at me and my kids and tried to engage us in conversation like he knew us / had come with us. Wasn't trying to hit on me, just seemed socially awkward and "special". went on about giant camel-eating spiders and deadly snakes. I was uncomfortable and my kids were uncomfortable. Didn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 10:45 PM
6

I’m still trying to not be angry after going through the same. It sucks to be messed with like that. Glad you are doing better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:55 PM
7

Ahahahaha! This is hilarious. My empathy is missing this morning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 02:18 PM
2

Ahhhhh, got anxiety just reading all this. I am glad they are your exes. I hope things are way better for you now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:55 PM
2

Thank you for the well wishes. I am not, but I work towards it every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:51 PM
3

These were all "nice guys" who presented as normal, functioning adults in the initial stages of dating and who had the approval of my friends and parents before the abuse started. None of them wore signs saying "abusive POS". It started happening after cohabitation with each of them. It can happen to anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:50 PM
16

This is not all the same man: Left me and the dogs to potentially die in a massive out of control fire because “he had to work the next morning”. Went on multiple vacations with a mistress telling me he went alone or with “friends”. Showed nude photos of women he’d slept with to a male friend while I was in the same room. Tried to punch me, but punched a wall, over me talking to our male neighbours. Sexually propositioned every one of my female friends whenever I would leave the room. Raped me m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 01:33 AM
8

Quote:”When I asked him if he prefers girls in that age range he said ‘for sex yes, but obviously I want a more mature woman to grow old with’ and he looked at me as if that statement was supposed to somehow reassure me, or make me feel better.” I threw up in my mouth a little. She’s 21, not a “mature woman”. He really does not see anything he did or thinks as wrong. I’m so glad she ran. 🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:15 PM
6

It’s called narcissism or he’s an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:09 PM
15

If you have kids with a LVM/NVM you will end up with anxiety, depression, C/PTSD, and probably severe sleep deprivation which make you angry, irritable, miserable, have a poor diet, poor self-care, and have a combination of thoughts of self-harm and shame spirals. It is really hard to see through all that and realize the LVM is the main problem. Not even doctors and therapists can do it most times. They will put you on meds that make you a numb zombie (mombie) which makes things even harder, but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:52 PM
1

Just came here to say: "WTF? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 10:54 PM
8

I hate this so much because I’ve been there. Sounds like both of my exes who said they wanted to have kids but, surprise, they didn’t want to do any actual parenting when the babies arrived. Emphasis on exes. I hate future faking with an absolute passion now. Kids are not a f*cking joke or something to lie about. They change your entire life. If you want to have kids either don’t have them with men, or vet a man to absolute death before agreeing to have kids with him. The incompetent dad trope o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 12:51 PM
3

I learned the hard way if you wouldn’t marry someone for x reasons, you probably shouldn’t even be dating them. Sounds like he does not have his shit together and may never. Some signs of ADD there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 11:20 PM
2

Therapists can be pickmeishas and 50/50 women too. Beware!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 09:57 PM
233

Her voice shows she has snapped. Not doing the cleaning anymore to "prove a point" never works. Never. Men do not care. Send him back to his mama!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 09:46 PM
31

I find men who do this give the exact same pet name(s) to all the women they've dated. I've also known men who call all women the same pet names, even strangers. Way to make a woman not feel special guys. I think you hit the nail on the head with it being objectifying. It dehumanizes you. I like to be called by my actual name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 04:43 PM
4

Brain fog, difficulty concentrating, making a lot of mistakes at simple tasks, forgetting to do important things, making bad decisions, having symptoms similar to sleep deprivation, and everyone’s telling you that you’re depressed? This stuff doesn’t come from nowhere, there’s probably an asshole in your life making you miserable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 01:37 PM
3

Ughhhh. I feel for this woman and would’ve done the same. Reminds me of an ex, a grown ass man, who whenever I would go away for a weekend without him would “forget” to eat food and drink water (because I wasn’t there to “remind” him) and he’d pass out and end up in the hospital on fluids with doctors telling him he was stupid. Happened three times. He was not that stupid, he was a manipulative, narcissistic, attention seeking asshole who was trying to stop me from going anywhere without him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 09:04 PM
7

“It has nothing to do with not being capable, the only difference is that they are being compensated for it [work]. So they often leave their wives/girlfriends to do the emotional labor at home...” Well that hits the nail on the head about why men do this better than any article or study I’ve read. Even “The Myth of the Male Bumbler” article which is pretty good. No reward, no effort. What selfish narcissists. I’m going to reverse it on them. No effort, no rewards from me, and definitely no mone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:59 AM
3

Don’t do any “wife” stuff for him without clear commitment (no sex, cooking, cleaning, laundry, moving in, gifts for him etc). Request/expect more real dates —sounds like you’re hanging out instead. Date other men while dating him (don’t tell him) and he won’t seem so special. If he is low value, those things alone will make him act out and reveal himself. Then, bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:15 AM
5

YUP. Any time a man says something he “thinks” is smart, it’s probably another person’s words or opinions in his mouth. If he doesn’t cite his sources, it’s probably a woman’s words, heh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 02:59 PM
7

It was a sad viral tweet. I got into a fight on Twitter with a dad who lost his job and was “babysitting” his kid while his wife worked and he had the nerve to call her a sucker because it was so “easy” to stay home with the kid. I called him out on not doing even half the stuff she would do if home with the kid and he went from attacking me to silent, probably blocked me. You know she was having to do all the housework after working her job. Men will do the one task they think they are obligate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 02:45 PM
1

Maybe it’s passive aggression, maybe it’s ADD’s selective hearing.... either way, nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 01:07 AM
47

I am one of those women with regret tales who was tricked into having kids by two men who said they wanted kids, but surprise, they really wanted a surrogate mommy they thought wouldn’t be able to leave them if a baby happened. It is a predator-prey situation and no one can convince me different. So many men like the idea of being a dad, but have no intention to actually do the hard work of being a dad. They genuinely assume it’s the woman’s job and that they can relax while she suffers without …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 01:02 AM
49

Don’t feel too bad. Some men are really lovely people who treat you well... until you find out they have a crazy political stance, deny climate change, believe in conspiracy theories, whine about BLM, or reveal they are a white supremacist. So lovely, but that one dealbreaking belief. Look up “filter bubbles” and it will help you to find men who have the capacity to accept things outside of their filter bubble or who are smart enough to avoid or see through filter bubbles. Most men think they ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 12:49 AM
117

If I see “he’s wonderful in every other way except this one (horrifying) thing” one more time 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 10:56 PM
203

He went right to defending an accused man and disparaged the woman who came forward about abuse and then mentioned Jordan Peterson without sarcasm. This man is indoctrinated with all the misogyny and is completely unaware of it. Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 10:54 PM
4

Jesus effing Christ, I’m so sorry. 😬😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 02:55 PM
1

Thank you. I do my best to keep following a safety plan even when he hasn’t tried anything in a while. I own my home and can’t afford to buy one somewhere else until I sell. This pandemic is not helping. I love my home, my garden, and my town, but he is mentally unwell and looks to never be leaving. He rents a crappy room and has poor job prospects in town so he seems to be staying out of a combination of pettiness and inability to move or change... so I need to get out of here. It happened to a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 02:54 PM
17

I joined as I was looking for a specifically mom-friendly space, and they let me lurk, but banned me from even commenting on other people’s posts. I was looking for support from other moms but I guess FDS automatically makes me a troll? I felt bad for a day maybe, but not so bad after realizing the sub is filled with never ending posts about how awful their husbands and boyfriends are. I feel like a big chunk of Reddit in general is an epidemic of these posts. If you search for “lazy, useless, j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 02:40 PM
9

Yes, this, thank you! I used to shun femininity because my mother is a tomboy and looks down on feminine women as shallow and vain. Then I had a super femme roommate who taught me to dress and wear makeup and I loved it, but it also led to assault and unwanted attention so I went back to my tomboy ways for a long time. Boyfriends who manipulate you into the natural look to keep you low and with their loser asses also kept me down. Now I view feminine clothes and make up as war paint and armour t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 02:26 PM
10

It’s not just online, it’s in real life too. You are describing my area. Most of the women dress nice and wear makeup, but the men look like farm hands or homeless bums —even the ones with decent careers. Finding a guy without cargo shorts and crocs is like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack. I think men have lost the knowledge of how to dress and how to keep up good hygiene. In history, men were the peacocks who prettified themselves to attract women, but today the men in many coun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 02:15 PM
15

Short answer, yes. Longer answer, he’s given you the perfect excuse to break up: “you talk about your ex so much you do not seem ready for a new relationship with me and I want someone who will focus on me, so bye.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 01:33 PM
11

Story time: I broke up with one ex boyfriend and kicked him out of my house for starting to show violent behaviour. He lovebombed and lied hard to present himself as quality when he was trying to “win” me, but I dumped him after realizing he was a good liar, not a good man. He tried to hoover and lovebomb for a couple months, but as soon as it was clear he was never getting back in the house and I would never take him back, he started screaming death threats at me and broke into my property. He …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 02:09 PM
4

Right? I’ve seen straight single men able to turn a crappy place into a beautiful one. If a man lives like a literal animal when he is single I am now assuming he is a narcissist with ADD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 01:45 PM
8

So considerate of him to let you know he neither washes his dick or his clothes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 07:03 PM
23

He was not ashamed of himself at all. I left him. If a man in his 30s doesn't have a normal home with actual furniture, that is not a man but some feral creature that needs to be released back into the wild with the other raccoons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 06:23 PM
5

What a hot mess! So glad you walked away. Watching one train wreck is one thing, but watching someone crash their own train over and over again is traumatic. I had a friend who I met through work and really liked her, but she was the definition of a pickmeisha and kept letting her romantic relationships ruin her life. She had a pattern of dating younger men who would quickly move in with her, trash her apartment, tell her not to wear make up or dress nice, not go out, not spend money and then ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 06:11 PM
26

I saw this on twitter earlier today and laughed pretty hard, but then ooof, she didn't mention breaking up with him. So sad. She's straight up been dating an actual feral rat for three years and only just realized it. Can't believe the rat's audacity of telling her she has to accept his nest. Not seeing a man's home for three years is a huge red flag! Once dated a man my own age (30s) who always came to my place and never invited me to his. One time I surprised him and received a rude awakening …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 05:54 PM
9

I'm aware. Was not seeking advice. It's why I said levelled up instead of HVM. I should have given context that this guy would be a dime a dozen in the city but in my rural area he is a unicorn just for the hygiene alone. 85% of the men in my area are dirty hippies and the rest are dirty blue collars. Even the millionaires are farmers in just jeans and ball caps. Took it as a sign to keep levelling myself up and that I am not out of place in my area for doing so rather than a sign I need to date…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 05:27 PM
7

Be gentle with yourself. You sound depressed and others in your circle may be depressed too. Symptoms can be irritability, being argumentative, losing interest in passions and activities you normally love, trouble sleeping, trouble thinking any hopeful of happy thoughts, etc. Are you able to move out or find work? It may improve your morale a lot to feel more in control of your life. Keeping a journal of your moods, meditating (sitting and thinking about where your feelings are really coming fro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 01:39 PM
19

I am not dating because social distancing, but a mortgage evaluator came to my property today to evaluate and I received a reminder of what a levelled up man looks like. He was dressed nice, well groomed, smelled amazing, and perfectly polite and professional. My house still smells like his expensive cologne. Holy moly. My cargo short-wearing, unwashed dusty ex wasn’t even close his level. Thank you universe for the reminder to keep levelling up and not look back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 01:29 PM
7

Ew, no. Don’t date coworkers ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 01:40 PM
3

Beyond gross! How to tell your man is a broke loser. Wonder what terrible bro subreddit he pulled this idea from?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 02:40 PM
2

Lots of women with kids trying to date, excluding our situation is discriminatory 🤷🏻‍♀️ Sorry, but it is shaming. You can’t undo having children. Society is already harsh enough on single moms calling us damaged goods, unwanted, worthless, stupid, etc. We don’t need to hear that from other women too in a supposedly safe space. The FDS resources have almost nothing on dating with kids. The approved youtubers either have no videos on it, or only one where they shame single moms and tells us it’s t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:13 PM
12

This is not a mom friendly space. I get it’s a personal choice, but I’ve seen long rants hating on single moms and stay at home moms if there is a post on motherhood at all (which is rare). Is the average age here very young? I’ve only seen one mom positive meme since I joined. Posts for moms get filled with comments by those who don’t have kids and to whom the posts do not apply. Anyone else feel uncomfortable being a mom here? I get enough of being ignored or treated as worthless/hopeless for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:38 PM
5

Do you have kids? Have you had to deal with predators? Have you had men immediately look at you like you are a piece of sh*t on their shoe for being a mom?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:29 PM
1

It’s not about you 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:26 PM
3

The pandemic is unfortunately the perfect excuse for LVM to pretend they are just victims of circumstance. There’s no way to know if they are telling the truth until it is too late. A lot of men are trying to date right now out of boredom, loneliness, and hornyness from social isolation so there are not a lot of good intentions out there right now. I’m waiting for all this to blow over and working on levelling up and getting skills in the meantime instead of getting entangled in man drama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 01:50 PM
6

This. Funny and true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 01:38 PM
11

Cerebral narcissists give themselves away by talking too much so I listen and let them dig their own graves. I attract way too many too. They see a smart woman and think “I’m smart too, I’m going to impress her with how much smarter I am than her”. Men aren’t supposed to compete with women so that’s the first big red flag. They talk about any little success, achievement, or power plays over others that happened to them like it was the best thing ever (even if it was 20 years ago, isn’t a success…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 01:38 PM
29

He doesn’t respect you. That’s it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 12:56 PM
2

Aww, been there. Join the resistance!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 02:54 AM
2

Are men aware most women use online dating for finding relationships? This made me think of the new tv series “Upload” which takes place in the future and instead of dating apps there are just hookup apps for one night stands, you rate each other’s performance, there’s no social aspect, and it is considered weird/lame to go on an actual date or have an actual conversation with the person. I think it was the perfect commentary on society and where online dating has and is heading toward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 02:43 AM
0

Attractive doesn’t mean equal to you. If that is your main standard, you may need to sit down and write some new standards for men. I see way too many women who only care about getting attractive men. If you look expensive, an attractive man who knows he can’t afford you isn’t going to approach no matter how attractive he is. A dusty is just trying to sleep with you for bragging rights or thinks you have money he can con you out of. A rich man doesn’t care how attractive he is because he knows h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 02:30 AM
8

Time to get the same one, haha mf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 02:14 AM
3

Ding ding ding, we have a winner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 02:09 AM
4

Both of you should have your own bank accounts plus a joint account to pay shared bills you both regularly deposit money into and you (but not him) should have a secret/private/inaccessible-to-him savings account. It is not a good idea for only one of you to be responsible for paying all the bills as it creates complacency and laziness in the person not doing the work and the person doing the work will build a whole lot of resentment. It is better to divide the responsibilities, example: you pay…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 01:54 AM
3

Thank you for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 01:23 AM
12

Lol, next man who says he wants to be my “partner” gets asked for a 20k buy-in to my business.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 01:15 AM
6

Stop sleeping with women on the first few dates then you creeps. 🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 01:10 AM
5

That response is perfect 👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 01:06 AM
51

When he says the right things to your face but his actions never match. When you feel like you are just convenient rather than "the one". When you feel like you are being exploited or used. When they show up late or don't show up at all to a clearly pre-agreed time. When they constantly cancel plans on you or don't call or text when they said they would. When they lose interest or dump you when you refuse to give them money. When they future fake you but let slip they hate marriage and/or kids. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 10:51 PM
25

I'd be running away. Men are honest because women will stay regardless of all the bad crap they've done because "but his pOtEnTiAl". Some men genuinely think their stories about the bad things they did and how bad they feel over it will get them sympathy and coddling. They don't actually feel bad though, it's just another tactic to get attention and trauma bond. Empathic women definitely fall for it. When a man tells you who he is, believe him and leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 10:23 PM
86

He really thought she would be so grateful to "hang" at his house that she would give him the sex. He's really asking: "Netflix and chill means sex to me so why didn't it mean sex to her?" This woman needs to stop accepting these types of hang out dates so these men stop thinking they'll get sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 10:18 PM
225

She can make it clear it wasn't okay by dumping him. If he ignored her boundaries once he's probably done it before in other areas of their relationship and will do it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 10:12 PM
3

Women can be crap too. Sorry, not sorry. People split for all kinds of reasons. I think it’s going to depend on the individual situation and DEFINITELY meet the mother of his kids no matter what he says about her. If she calls him a manchild, peace out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:55 PM
2

I agree and I’m so sorry to hear that. Your poor mom. My mom lucked out. My dad could be better with money, but he’s not irresponsible and has never hurt them financially and vice versa. I think your mom’s story is why mom always emphasized me being financially independent no matter what. She even made me fake checks and a fake check book to learn with when I was only eight. One of my exes seemed financially responsible and generous and had a long term job with a good company, but after moving i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:46 PM
12

No, I showed them by leaving them when I figured out they were dumber than me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:34 PM
4

I have not had good experiences yet trying to date with kids. I get future fakers and men looking for surrogate moms who want to exploit me financially while neglecting the kids. My friends don’t have good stories either, most ended up with the narcissist type who resented the kids’ existence. It’s more likely for a child free woman to successfully date a man with kids than vice versa. I honestly think I’m going to have the most success dating men with kids who are still actively coparenting or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:07 PM
3

If you are child free and don’t want kids ever, none of this is for you and doesn’t apply to you. It’s not the same for men. As a woman, just tell your suitors you don’t want kids, but I’ll be honest many will think you’re lying and saying what you think they want to hear. I realized that advice would be controversial, especially to those without kids, but if you don’t have kids it’s harder to understand why you shouldn’t say you’re a mom in an OLD profile or on the first few dates. I didn’t mea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 08:53 PM
9

Why not? I don't want to end up in a 50/50 situation as Barb the Builder. Dating better than yourself is called hypergamy. A man who wants you to be his equal isn't after you, he's after your money and what you can do for him. No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 03:23 PM
48

I live in a friendly, relatively safe small town, but I lock my doors and windows because my lOsEr neighbor used to pull this scary bs before I put up a fence and went no contact with him. Statistics don’t lie and even a small town is full of sociopathic predators and pedos. If you’ve ever had to use the services of a women’s shelter it is always a part of a safety plan to keep everything locked up. I’m getting cameras next because this isn’t the only fuckery I’ve experienced here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 02:02 PM
43

It’s the worst. THE worst. I am an entrepreneur and over the years I’ve hired half a dozen men. After not even a full week of training, all of them tried to tell me how to do the job or how to do it better in the midst of me still teaching them how to do it. They would not follow instructions from me, a woman. I’d let them try and fail and they would all circle back to the way I trained them. One of them even had the nerve to ask to do my jobs and have the same privileges as me, the owner of 15 …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 01:43 AM
17

spit take Lol, oh gawd this. Every boyfriend I’ve had.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 01:17 AM
13

Ugh same. My most recent ex would pull this every time I tried to dump him: “No. I don’t agree.” Or would say I had to do ABC before he would leave. Then he’d keep being unemployed and eating all my food. WTF? Made me feel very unsafe he wouldn’t agree or move out when it was my place. So one day when he was out I packed up all his stuff, put it outside and locked the door and texted him we were officially broken up and to get his stuff. He took the unsubtle hint that time and stopped trying to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:54 PM
23

This. Mine did the same, treating me like a rebellious child or a horse he was trying to break. Then he started to get violent when his tactics didn’t work the way he wanted. I have a no contact order from a judge now and if he comes near my home he gets a nice police escort off the premises.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:49 PM
11

Yep. It was part of my narc ex’s cycle of abuse; make me repeatedly explain to him why what he did or said was wrong and how and why it had hurt me. Took me too long to realize he knew damn well what he’d done wrong, had done it on purpose, and that as long as I was talking to him I wasn’t breaking up with him and after I broke up with him he tried to trick me into explaining why once a week until I caught on and went no contact. To a narc negative attention is still attention and they need thei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:46 PM
21

One of my exes is in his 50s and it always disturbed me that he thought he was hot sh*t. He would leer at teens and women in their early 20s and judge their appearances in front of me and make creepy comments about their bodies (one of the many reasons I dumped his narc ass). If any woman of any age so much as smiled at him or was polite to him he genuinely thought they wanted to have sex with him. No joke, no exaggeration. He was only okay looking, but looked old even for his age (skinny old ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:35 PM
9

Nope. Even the gay men are looking for free therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 04:04 AM
4

I’ve been with three different types of narcissists. One practiced financial abuse so I couldn’t leave him and I had to start an online business to save money and escape him. The second used lovebombing and gaslighting to trick me into staying but his yelling was too much and one day he tried to grab me and stop me from leaving the house and getting away from yet another unexplained temper tantrum. I wish I’d called the police, but I called my parents and stayed with them over night. The next da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 02:55 AM
8

I pretty much did everything FDS says not to. After finding FDS I felt like I left the matrix, walking around like a stumbling newborn in a state of horror. I had naively believed men were telling me the truth and had good intentions. Boy was I wrong. The saddest part was realizing how badly men had groomed me from a young age. I will forever be skeptical and untrusting of men now. It feels sad that it has to be this way, but I won’t let one hurt me again if I can help it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 02:21 AM
48

A big yes to this. Be the most wary of the men who approach you when you have just had a break up, are going through a divorce, are very depressed, a loved one has died, or you’ve just overcome trauma or illness. After I dumped my ex I became very ill for a month and attracted a predator looking for a roof and a meal ticket while I was at my weakest. I am very thankful I trusted my gut that something was wrong and cut off all contact with him as soon as I smelled his lies. Men who aren’t family …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 02:08 AM
7

Yes they exist, but are usually narcissists who are hollow people pretending to like everything you like to get close to you. My last ex was too good to be true like this. Look at his actions and his life. Is he a doer or just a talker? Is he successful or does he talk about how awesome he is but his life is not in fact awesome. Is he passive aggressive? Does he act feminine? Has he ever done anything real for you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 02:25 PM
7

Eh, keep in mind men who stay in a woman’s periphery and pounce as soon on as she’s single do not have good intentions. I’d pass, but there’s some good advice here on requesting an actual date and being clear you are just looking to casually date right now and not “hang”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 02:13 PM
7

Woah, wait, you’ve only been talking for two days and you already know his supposed dating history and all his insecurities? Red flag! This much insecurity is not cute and meant to attract the fixer/healer pickmeishas. The puppy and the parents— red flag. Means he knows he’s crap and needs a cute animal and nice people to make him look better. Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 02:01 PM
19

Eww, but yeah. I don’t post selfies and say “no DMs” in my profile. Also, add picture of men, not your SO though. Weeds out a lot of this. If posting selfies is important to your brand though, just keep being tasteful and look expensive. If a guy offers you money send him a cashapp or PayPal link, lol. You never know. No personal info though, of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 12:46 PM
78

Eww. Manchild narcissist trying to make up your personality for you. He’s insecure, he’s not confident. Every time he negs you, remind yourself he’s projecting and really talking about himself. Look up the Grey Rock Method of having to deal with difficult people on a regular basis. The most important thing you can do is not care and not react to his bs. If you try to put him in his place it will not go well with him in a position of power over you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 12:41 PM
9

Lol, you should run when you feel the butterflies. It means you won’t be able to think straight around that man and will end up picking dirty clothes up off a dusty’s floor wondering how you got there. This guy sounds like a good opportunity to test setting boundaries and standards with. If you’re not sure keep quietly dating other men while dating him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 03:05 PM
5

Preach! This happened to me and I will never get my 20s or my career from that time back. I have big regret, especially since the love I chased turned out to be a lying narcissist who would never love me back. Date multiple men at the same time, refuse to be exclusive, refuse to move in with a man or vice versa, be careful with birth control, and work on your career and saving money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 02:18 PM
3

Oh no. You can’t buy love, just disrespect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 02:13 PM
26

Good for you! 👌 I have a communication curfew for all men whether they are friends or suitors. No talking to them after 8pm. I tell them it’s inappropriate. If they try to break my curfew, buh bye. They are only looking for sex if they text or call so late or want to “visit” late. The self-imposed curfew is like spraying them with water like a bad cat, lol. “No, bad boy!” p.s. this also helps avoid the men who have wives or gfs or hidden children. They only seem to come out at night like vampire…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 02:01 PM
48

“marriage is such a bourgeois event” “For 8 years now” This is a broke, broke man. Ding ding ding
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 01:12 PM
3

Absolutely nothing good, reasonable, or sane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 10:05 PM
7

Wow, the sheer audacity. No man or family member has any right to tell you what to wear. Honestly women could wear a potato sack and men would sexualize us. You can’t change their thoughts or behaviour so you should just dress for yourself. If they make inappropriate comments, have some cutting comebacks ready to put them in their place. “Excuse me, what did you just say to me?” “I don’t remember asking your opinion.” “Let me ask your wife/girlfriend what she thinks of you having an opinion abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 10:00 PM
3

I agree with everyone else. Block and move on. I call this type of guy a “creeper” because he’s always creeping around women, single or not, trying to get laid while pretending to be sensitive and just looking for friendship. My circle of friends has been infiltrated by creepers in the past but as soon as the women all share their creepy experiences of the creeper trying to have sex with all of us, he gets banned from everything and everyone’s social media. One instance the husbands and bfs foun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 09:02 PM
5

This!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:36 PM
36

Amen! Will always remember SheRaSeven1’s words: “never build with a man unless you’re an architect and you’re getting paid”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:35 PM
8

You are right to think it’s gross. My last three exes were always trying to talk about their previous sexual exploits and what studs they were. It was weird, uncomfortable, gross, and improper. Like, do they think it makes us think they are are amazing? Because instead it made me think they were trash. Of course they turned out to have problems in the bedroom and were not in fact studs. Not even close. I now think men do it to make you think they are studs and have options so you try to chase th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:28 PM
28

Same. Every time I moved in with a boyfriend or vice versa he magically turned into a roommate who wanted me to pay for things and do all the domestic stuff while he scratched his butt and played video games. They don’t try to marry you when they already “got you”. Only made me feel like a sucker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 07:54 PM
-1

I said a bit, not full on, and that their character is ultimately what matters.😉 Agreed because most men are delusional about their level of attractiveness in general. But I’m not going to kid myself and go after a male model is all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 07:40 PM
4

Maybe look at the different relationships around you for what seems healthy and beneficial as well as what seems unhealthy and like dealbreakers. Then write it down as reminders to yourself. It has helped me to compare and remind myself how high value people act in relationships vs what is unacceptable. I feel lucky that I have examples of (mostly) healthy relationships in my parents and grandparents. I asked both of my grandparents separately what the secret to their long, loving, and happy rel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 12:42 PM
9

I’d change my number the same day and forget about it. It sounds harsh, but in my experience men who threaten suicide are manipulative, attention seeking, and high/drunk. Men who actually want to commit suicide do it in silence so no one interferes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 12:10 PM
38

Read the post in the FDS Handbook on “mate guarding”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:51 AM
7

I’m okay with a bit old, a bit fat, a bit ugly, and a bit boring, lol. I’m attracted to a person’s brain and personality more than their looks. I have trouble trusting young, good looking men because they are usually lazy, entitled, and treat women poorly as they’ve always gotten by just on their looks... that and the majority of younger attractive men in my area are broke, single, alcoholic, and mentally unwell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:48 AM
22

Sorry, but looks like all he did was boost your ego. You have no idea if the things he said were true or if he’s still in a crap job living with roommates, bored and horny, texting this same story to five other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:40 AM
11

Don’t bother. He obviously doesn’t want anything long term if he’s freaking out just because he likes you. If he really liked you he would be chasing you, not back tracking. He might change his mind once you cut him off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:37 AM
12

waves a big handful of red flags This is a controlling abusive man. You will never find happiness with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:18 PM
17

He really isn’t going to care or feel bad. Block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:15 PM
41

All I got out of his big paragraphs of text is “I’m broke, bumming off friends, and looking for a woman to give me free sex and therapy”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 03:58 PM
11

This was really good and funny. I laughed so hard when Oprah called out the men for harshly judging women who had sex on the first date and made them admit they would sleep with any woman who asked them despite their judgement. It hit the nail on the head with most dating issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 02:39 PM
4

He should be telling you what he thinks is sexy and beautiful about you, not asking you to do it. He’s probably trying to see if you are insecure and desperate enough for him to take advantage of. Men don’t bumble, bumbling is a lie. He meant to do it. Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 06:11 PM
6

The only rings my dusty exes gave me were costume jewelry they said were a joke. Haha not funny. I threw them in the trash —the rings as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 06:07 PM
7

You can definitely still use FDS with kids. I have two little kids and it does not deter men. It can attract dusties who prey on single moms though (they think we are desperate) so you have to be more careful than childless women when dating. I recommend getting a trustworthy baby sitter and not telling suitors you even have kids until they express genuine interest and commitment. Others have given good legal advice. Never let an ex convince or scare you not to go to a lawyer or family court bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 06:03 PM
2

To keep it vague but accurate, I manufacture body/bath goods and sell them online and to stores. Been doing it for 15 years but only quit my day job eight years ago. I usually recommend choosing something you enjoy doing or making and start slow and grow a customer base over time and to not give up. The longer your business exists the more likely people are to find it and for you to be successful. A solid work ethic, self-discipline, and ability to keep to a schedule are important for being self…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 09:52 PM
35

Loved the women’s answers, but the male interviewer was awful and trying so hard to make them see his 50/50 ways. I really enjoyed watching them laugh at him though. Thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 12:10 AM
3

I am still working on this. SheRaSeven1 has some good but long videos on emotional detachment on her YouTube channel, I will be watching them repeatedly. Biggest takeaways so far are to learn how to not care, not believe their pretty words, to date multiple men at once, and to avoid emotionally investing until actual commitment is obtained —and even then only being a percentage invested so you are able to walk if they eventually pull something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:48 PM
11

Ha! My ex had ADD too. Refused to do a single thing about it and even said it had never affected his life or relationships negatively when I confronted him about how it was effecting our relationship negatively (understatement to say the least). Dumped him after everyone told me to do more and help him more but no one cared about me and how I was suffering, but mainly made up my mind after finding an ADD spouse forum with a thread asking “if you had to do it all over again would you stay with hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:37 PM
29

Same. I’ve had many male friends and therefore many surprising and unwanted declarations of love. It hurts when you think you’ve made a good friend but they were quietly hoping their proximity to you would result in sex “one day”. Let yourself feel hurt but block them and move on once the worst of the emotional reaction has passed. If you try to keep being friends this type will keep being “nice” in the continuing hope of sex. It’s sad. Pity them. I have met some rare exceptions where I flat out…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:43 PM
-6

You can read into my words whatever you like, I don’t have to agree with your interpretation, especially when you completely ignore my point. My point is to have standards and boundaries and stop looking for a scapegoat and clucking like a bunch of bitter old hens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 09:06 PM
6

Ugh that must be like telling people you’re a doctor and they ask you to look at a nasty mole! Definitely downplay it or say you don’t want to talk about work. I’m an entrepreneur but “I just work retail” if anyone pressures me. Men who want to know what you do and how much you make are usually leeches looking for their next victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:34 PM
5

Look so good they won’t even approach. Being expensive is natural dusty repellent. If they approach anyway look at them like they’re crazy, say “ew, no” and walk away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:29 PM
2

If it’s your home, wait until he’s left for whatever reason, pack up all his stuff and put it outside and don’t ever let him back in. If it’s a rental you can get the super or landlord to force him to return a key. If you own you may have to change the locks if he refuses to give the key back. If it’s his place, again wait until he’s gone out and then pack up all your stuff and bail. Go to a parent’s, a friend’s, a family member, a women’s shelter, or a hotel, but get out and never go back. Tell…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:27 PM
-2

Not what I said though. Just saying we can’t put 100% of the blame on men when many of us have been pickmeishas making things worse for not only ourselves but other women who date the same men after us. If you think you are perfect all the time and nothing is ever your fault than there is something wrong with you (general you - not specifically you). I accept my part in why my previous relationships failed. I was a pickmeisha with no standards and poor boundaries. I allowed them to hurt me inste…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:04 PM
3

When I was 19 I met a man 18 years older than me. It was my friends that set us up and encouraged me. The first time he was drunk around me he raped me. I stayed with him for 6 1/2 years. Now that I’m in my 30s I am sad that I thought it was okay but I am very angry at my “friends” who not only thought it was okay but pushed me into it. They are not my friends anymore. I am angry my family didn’t intervene. He was poor, stingy, manipulative, and constantly lied and cheated. I was a bang maid to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 01:41 PM
0

This is nihilism. Nihilism is very dangerous and much worse than pessimism. Be careful about these thoughts. Personal experience does not equal reality. If this is how you feel men will smell it a mile away and avoid you because nothing they do or say can change this dark viewpoint and your obvious hate for them. I’ve been there, bitter and used up after multiple bad relationships. You have to let it go to level up though, otherwise you are stuck and bitter and going nowhere. I’ve seen multiple …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 01:10 PM
5

I don’t like that he moved in with his parents well before lockdown and think you should trust your gut. You don’t know if he’s actually saving money for a house or just saying that because he knows it’s a red flag for a grown man to live with his parents. Maybe test him by saying you are currently looking for someone who already has their life together, but you can be friends for the moment while he works things out. If he ghosts you or launches a defensive tirade he is probably just trying to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 02:14 AM
3

I have a strong personality and my last two LTRs were what you call “soft boys”. Naive me thought they’d be safe after experiencing an abusive relationship with a masculine take charge type. Do not recommend. One turned violent and the other passive aggressive. Both felt resentful and emasculated towards me just for being myself and found passive aggressive ways to punish me for existing. They will slowly poison you if you stay with them long term. No matter how you sugar coat it, it’s role reve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 01:46 AM
3

This only happens to me all the time. I very much believe it’s a 50/50 combo of generational/regional misogyny and the Dunning-Kruger effect (stupid = more confident). If a man does this to you it means he has a low IQ, way lower than he thinks it is. If you value intelligence as a trait in a man, it’s a sign to run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 10:42 PM
48

Same. Turns out many men do not like aggressive women who want to have sex more than once in a row. Turns out it emasculates them, as two exes told me. Turns out many men don’t actually have the high libido and virility of porn stars they think they do and, when they can’t keep up, their egos break from the cognitive dissonance and they either cut you off, cheat on you, dump you, or all of the above. Weeee!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 10:20 PM
18

Hello lovely people! I have been lurking here for a few months since discovering the existence of this sub and have been using it so much I figured I should sign up. I kicked out my chronically unemployed and exploitative dusty ex on New Year’s Eve after realizing he was the carbon copy of the “unemployed, weed smoking, video game playing useless bf” that is endlessly complained about in the relationship subs and FDS has helped me look forward instead of back. The most important things I’ve lear…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:50 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter