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fitdude08 Archive

View 1 post and 44 comments by fitdude08 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

fitdude08/r/RPChristians17/02/19 02:11 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Your reply is missing one thing: repentance. We call sinners to repentance. Much more so fellow believers who have habitual sins. And much more so our own wives (at least, that’s the way it should be). You can’t say that whether it is sinful or not doesn’t change the way we respond to it...not if you believe that repentance is an essential part of the Christian life.
/r/RPChristians13/03/19 11:23 AM
1

(Sorry for the late reply) No. I mean the mindset that takes "the way women are" as a given of nature, almost in a way that pretends that women don't have fallen natures, and then blames the man for any and all possible relationship problems. Of course, we should "take ownership"... OF OUR ACTUAL PROBLEMS. But we shouldn't "take ownership" of her problems as well––thereby excusing her from her own sinful nature. Of course, that means that you have to figure out which problems are yours (the guy'…
/r/RPChristians13/03/19 01:42 AM
1

I love Mao. It's a fun game that I picked up on really quick when we played with a group of friends the other night (ironically enough). I'm also the guy who asked "why all the games?" And I still stand by that question, because this is a terrible analogy. "Women.. know all the rules and issue penalties..." Yeah, that sounds SUPER Alpha. If marriage / sex is a "game," then God wrote the rules, and it's the man's job to lead the woman through the "rules"––just like with everything else in life. M…
/r/RPChristians13/03/19 01:24 AM
1

And after you’ve removed the log, if she’s still sinful and rebellious and only respects you / is attracted to you if you respond a certain way to her trivial and manipulative tests, is that something to ignore? To play with? To dance around? Or is it something to call her to repentance for?
/r/RPChristians19/02/19 01:49 AM
1

Well I certainly wouldn’t beg the question by defining either position as “what Scripture teaches.” The first question is: what does each position teach? Then you can ask how they compare to what Scripture has to say.
/r/RPChristians18/02/19 11:43 PM
0

I don’t have time to reply with everything I’d like to right now, but I’ll just note that disagreement with red pill doesn’t automatically = blue pill. I agree with the condemnation of “blue pill.” I object to the supposed solutions of “red pill.” And part of my objection is that it’s too similar to blue pill in the essentials.
/r/RPChristians18/02/19 11:20 PM
1

Sure. But most guys in here seem to be saying that a lack of sexual desire from your wife automatically and necessarily means that you’re doing something wrong, or that it’s your responsibility to manipulate the situation in order to “fix” it—even if that means playing games with her sinfulness and irrationality. By all means, improve yourself first and focus first on becoming a godly and masculine man. But don’t pretend that there’s not another sinful human in the equation as you work on all th…
/r/RPChristians18/02/19 09:34 PM
2

Exactly. I don’t get why it’s considered “alpha” to help the woman pretend that she’s not being sinful and insane, and then to blame yourself for the consequences. That sounds like textbook beta. “It’s all my fault. She has no flaws. If it’s not working out, I must be to blame. Etc...”
/r/RPChristians18/02/19 08:38 PM
1

You’re not reading what I’ve said. I don’t know if she’s ever wanted to have sex. I can’t say that something changed and go back an reclaim it because it’s always been this way. I’ve done everything that can rationally be expected regarding masculinity and attraction. And not just for the sake of sex, but for my own sake. But nothing has changed. At some point we need to consider the possibility that she’s the one with the problem.
/r/RPChristians18/02/19 12:13 AM
1

What do you mean by “losing initiative” and “the keys to sex” etc..? Of course I used tests. Rational tests. Not silly trivial tests. And it’s totally appropriate for her to use rational tests. If her lack of desire was based on some legitimate flaw in me (like the failure to lead the general direction of our family), that’s totally rational. But if it’s based on my “inability” to pick up on trivial tests (like getting the remote for her), then that’s irrational.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 11:44 PM
1

I’m trying to understand the whole red pill mindset to see if it might be helpful. From what I’ve seen so far, it seems to be a flip side of the same coin as beta-ism / nice guy-ism.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 11:40 PM
3

Except the tests are for “passivity” in trivial things that don’t matter. If we (men) are not being passive where it matters, then the trivial tests are just that.. trivial. And sinful.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 11:29 PM
1

Exactly. Her constant tests and challenges are SIN. So why don’t we call it sin, and have women’s ministries to help them repent of and grow out of that sin? Why are we instead coddling that sin and playing with that sin?
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 11:19 PM
1

Listen to yourself. You sound like a beta. She’s essentially saying (implicitly) “if you don’t do x, I won’t have sex with you.” And you’re saying, “I better jump to do x, or else the lack of sex will be my fault.” How in the world is this supposed to be “alpha”?
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 11:11 PM
1

It’s only my problem if the lack of desire is caused by something which is a legitimate flaw in myself. If it’s caused by her flawed and irrational expectations regarding stupid games, then that’s her problem. Not mine.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 11:08 PM
1

Jumping through random hoops to pass her silly tests isn’t “leading.” Neither is pretending that she’s not being irrational when she is.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 11:07 PM
1

Oh I do “accept” it if you mean just acknowledging that it’s there. But that acknowledgment has to come with an evaluation. Is it good or bad? And if it’s bad, part of my mission is to lead her out if it. It’s definitely not my entire mission, and I definitely don’t treat it as such. Pandering isn’t a problem for me. But it does seem to be a problem for red pillers who want to pander to her irrationality by playing her games and trying to pass her stupid tests.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 11:05 PM
1

Why isn’t there a women’s ministry for it? There should be. But there isn’t because the men are all pretending that there isn’t a problem to be ministered to.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 10:50 PM
1

By pretending that she doesn’t have the problems she has. Pretend solutions aren’t real solutions. It might prevent one undesirable outcome, but it will lead to many others in due time.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 10:47 PM
1

Maybe. But there’s no way you can convince me that such an outcome is healthy / Christian.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 10:41 PM
2

What do you mean, “why did I marry her?” Do you mean, in light of this problem? I didn’t know about the problem because we didn’t have sex before marriage. I don’t know if she was ever sexually “turned on.” I suspect that she has some deep psychological hang ups about sex being dirty / sinful. I think she, and many other Christian women, are in need of serious therapy about sex & sexuality, but the Church is never going to get around to offering that therapy as long as we think it’s always and o…
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 10:39 PM
1

If I have to engage in playing games with a fake reality and ignoring / enabling her vices in order to keep her attracted to me, then I don’t want to do it, and neither should you. I’m not going to sacrifice the maturity and health of my wife for the sake of a “better” sex life... which wouldn’t actually be better anyways, because I would know it was rooted in her faults and flaws rather than in her virtues.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 10:32 PM
1

If she wants to cheat or divorce me, that will be on her. I’m not going to compromise on my godly responsibility in order to help her pretend that she’s not the problem in our marriage. We don’t have kids. We’re still together because I’m not breaking my oath. If she wants to break hers, that’s up to her.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 10:28 PM
1

No. It’s neither masculine nor godly to take responsibility for her vices and irrationality, thus giving her an excuse and allowing her to blame all her problems on you. That’s disgusting. Where in the world did you get that idea about being a good husband?
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 10:26 PM
1

😂 Red pillars will admit (to each other online) that women are irrational. But will they tell the woman that, and refuse to cater to her irrationality? You don’t “serve” people by enabling their vices or pretending those vices don’t exist. That’s insane.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 10:18 PM
1

It’s beginning to look like all this “red pill” “alpha” talk is just a facade to cover the fact that too many men don’t have the balls to tell their woman that she’s being irrational.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 10:15 PM
1

You don’t serve someone by pretending they’re not being irrational when they really are.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 10:14 PM
1

First of all, I’ll take truth over “leverage” any day. What kind of unbelieving naturalistic mindset would do the opposite? Second, the only immaturity is in her sexuality which for obvious reasons, I had no way of knowing about until after we were married. You’re unbelief is showing.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 10:08 PM
1

There’s a lot of empty slogans there but not a lot of substance.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 10:03 PM
1

She’s my wife. It’s my job to lead her into maturity and righteousness. Not to ignore & coddle & play games with her immaturity just because it makes me feel more masculine.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 09:47 PM
1

Haha. Okay. 👍. If “getting it” means ignoring irrationality, then I don’t want to “get it.”
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 09:44 PM
5

All this talk about “nature” is really naturalistic and backwards. It’s called spiritual discipline and maturity in Christ. We don’t say “men naturally want to have casual sex, so we should just accept it.” Why do we do that with women? Why are we making excuses and allowances for female sins? Doesn’t seem very “Alpha.”
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 09:43 PM
1

I’d love for you to say that to my face. But since this is an online forum, I’ll just ask: what makes you think I’m lazy and a loser?
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 06:46 PM
6

Sin is “hard wired into our DNA.” That doesn’t make it non-sinful. Those capabilities (of standing up to her / others when necessary) are able to be discerned pretty obviously apart from the silly little games. If she needs to play such games with trite / irrelevant stuff to find out if you’re capable of standing up for what truly matters, then she’s a moron and needs to open her eyes and grow the F up. (Assuming you’re actually standing up for what matters in your life and your marriage).
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 06:42 PM
1

Your sarcastic response seems to operate from pragmatism. I’m not trying to pragmatically manipulate my wife into better sex. I’m trying to identify the actual root issue and how to fix it.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 06:35 PM
1

Just because we’re sinful by nature doesn’t mean we should pretend it’s not sinful.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 06:31 PM
3

Isn't re-shaping the world we live in for the better a big part of being a man? I'm not merely saying "I don't like it." My "likes" are irrelevant. I'm saying it seems wrong and unhealthy. I don't want to just "accept" something if it's wrong and unhealthy. I want to fight it and change it. Isn't that what all men should want to do?
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 04:08 AM
1

There's a big difference between golfing with a buddy and sex in marriage. ​ Sex is one of the primary features of marriage. It's not some optional add-on activity. It's woven into the very nature of the relationship. That means, the healthier the relationship, the better the sex life. If the wife isn't passionate about maximizing the sex life of the marriage, that's a sign that something is wrong in the relationship. Of course, maximization doesn't have to mean frequency. Maximization can invol…
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 03:36 AM
1

"We have a situation where men want more sex than women but the solution is - try to make your wife want it more, when in reality - the wife should be willing to serve her man just like the man should be willing to sacrifice and serve his wife in any need she has. That's a relationship." It's true that she should serve him with sex even if she's not in the mood. But it's also true that if she's not in the mood (assuming he's a decently healthy husband), then something is seriously wrong with her…
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 03:25 AM
1

Good luck? I'm not looking for a strategy to manipulate a better sex life out of my wife. I don't need luck. I'm trying to understand the reasoning behind the psychological games. If you don't have an answer, or don't want to answer, that's fine.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 02:56 AM
1

It's immature for her to need you to "make things fun" (by playing psychological games) in order to have a healthy sex life. If the fun is thrown in as a bonus, that's fine. I'm all for games as bonuses. But if the game is necessary for a healthy sex life, that's when it becomes immature. ​ I agree with you about the choreplay / covert contracts / making your wife your mission. I don't think you should do those things either. ​ But if you're not doing those things, and you're being a healthy, pr…
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 02:46 AM
2

The standard of maturity and honesty. Games are immature. They are also dishonest. Surely you wouldn't say that immaturity and dishonesty are signs of health.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 02:35 AM
5

It's not about the work. It's more about maturity. The psychological games just seem extremely immature. I don't know why I should want to play along or encourage them. I can't see how it's healthy.
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 02:30 AM
7

That's not very helpful. What would you say I am missing?
/r/RPChristians17/02/19 02:24 AM
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