~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 11 | My SO has dropped hints that he wants me to grow my hair out.In my experience guys don't understand or believe what women hair does until they see it. I would try growing it and see how he responds, if it looks worse and thinner he will probably notice. Or show him any photos of when it was long like that and you didn't like it. Basically, just make sure he knows you want to do things that appeal to him, even though this specific thing might not work quite how he's envisioning it. Also make sure to get enough protein and maybe take a hair/nails vitamin to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/15 09:11 PM |
| 1 | Starting Fresh w/ RPW ValuesWell, focus on the man himself and not on what he does for you. While your ex sounds absolutely inconsiderate, it also sounds like what made you the most angry/bitter is that he didn't appreciate you enough in ways that you wanted. If you have the attitude of seeking to be appreciated in a relationship, rather than looking to partner with and improve the life of a good man that you respect, you're never going to be satisfied with any man. Focus less on what he does for you and what you think you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/15 09:00 PM |
| 2 | Need a lot of general relationship advice. Throw the RPW book at me now because I definitely need it.There's a lot to respond to here but let me touch on one thing for now because I can relate from my own relationship: His family is going to be a higher priority for a while, until (if) you two start to create your own family. You've been together for less than a year and they have been part of his life for, well, his whole life. I'm guessing that his family commitment/closeness is actually something you respect and love about him - don't undermine that by demanding that he prioritize you every … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/15 08:39 PM |
| 1 | Processing Becoming More DependentI'm so jealous, this is our goal in life, to live in the Netherlands! Congratulations! I know it's a big change but setting up house in a new country is like a full-time job in of itself. You can make things a lot easier on him by devoting those first months to figuring out shopping, phone bills/service, dry cleaning, doctors, all those givens that can seem so difficult when first moving to a new country. It's actually really good that one of you is not working right away! Edit: oops, just reali… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/15 12:06 AM |
| 7 | Thanksgiving anxietyThis is a great point! It shows that you're not there just to spend time with your boyfriend but to be involved with his family too, and often the women at a family get-together are a) sympathetic to you feeling nervous, so they'll ask you general conversational questions and b) chatterboxes with each other so it's easy for you to just listen and still feel part of the conversation. Offer to help with the cooking or dishes or something so you're not just standing around too. Having a small role … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/11/15 06:18 PM |
| 2 | Financial help. How to receive it from fiancé.This is what I was trying to say! | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/11/15 03:07 AM |
| 1 | My boyfriend borrowed my car last night, got drunk, and was arrested. Don't know where to go from here.That's so hard to wait, I'm sorry. Can you call his parents and see if they've been in touch with him? | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/11/15 02:34 AM |
| 10 | Financial help. How to receive it from fiancé.If he hasn't expressed any disappointment at your not paying off the debt, don't invent any! Make sure he knows you appreciate it, and then continue to follow his lead as you build your marriage. You guys are a team now, and this is part of that mentality shift. He's showing his commitment to your partnership by doing what's best for the married team rather than just himself or just you. Appreciate it and him and keep moving forward! You could also think of it as a wedding gift :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/11/15 02:28 AM |
| 1 | Is Texting Important to a Relationship?I agree that this is a good approach! I've been in an LDR too that was actually pretty heavy on texting (due to time zone differences) but it was still a "bad" ratio like you described where I was texting way more and felt like I deserved more response, where he was just using texting for logistics for the next call/necessary updates. Eventually I just learned to accept and even appreciate the difference. Like you said, I'd rather hear his voice anyway and he's always really conversational on ca… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/11/15 01:00 AM |
| 2 | Promiscuity GameIt's a troll lol and a male one at that, check the history/username. Just report it | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/11/15 07:14 PM |
| 1 | Advice for dressing more feminine even as a "tomboy"?Yes! This is my struggle too haha. I think femininity in appearance is so much about feeling comfortable and confident in what you wear so that you can put others at ease around you, you're not focused on adjusting your shirt or checking your hair in the mirror or w/e how you hold yourself - no matter what you are wearing, great posture, gentle movements, classically "ladylike" ways of sitting give you a more feminine presence good grooming - taking care of skin, hair, eyebrows, and nails just m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/11/15 01:51 PM |
| 2 | Simple QuestionsThis is only anecdotal, but my SO hates bangs (like heavy blunt fringe) for reasons of: it covers too much of my face, on most women including me it's more cutesy/juvenile and less sexy, and also he finds Zooey Deschanel-type personalities really annoying and the haircut is strongly associated with that shrug. I don't think it would shrink your dating pool, but it depends so much on your own style and face and what kind of image you want to project. More neutral/natural, like blended side bangs … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/15 07:44 PM |
| 2 | Some issues with starting and maintaining a relationship as a business owner/higher income earner.Yeah this is exactly right - what was successful about the latest date was that you opened it up to him leading the conversation about your job by saying "tell me how much you want to hear about it." I suppose you could do that in a more subtle way but you can see that things flowed successfully when you gave him the chance to guide the conversation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/15 08:30 PM |
| 1 | Rant about my newfound RP knowledge and my hobby. Unsure, feeling down, need advice.Is your goal to be the best/be well-known in the electronic music field? Really ask yourself that. I know you say it's just a hobby or outlet, but if that's really all the value you placed on it you wouldn't be so upset at thinking that some men might be better than you. Take this strong reaction as something to learn from. Maybe you take more pride in in than you thought. Which is fine, btw, it just means you have to recognize that and then decide how you want to move forward. Do you want to pu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/15 08:12 PM |
| 2 | Simple QuestionsHave you spent time together around kids? Like babysitting for friends or playing with young cousins? That might help you figure it out! I think many men find it hard to picture what having kids is like if they don't interact with them much. Whereas women have mostly been thinking about it since age 5 haha | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/15 12:00 AM |
| 6 | Simple QuestionsI had to stop watching that show the entitlement was so strong >< That being said, flylady.net has a lot of cleaning schedules and household organization things! It's a little overwhelming so you have to trust yourself to pick and choose and set up the right routines for you, but it's definitely a great place to get started. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/15 10:53 PM |
| 5 | Simple QuestionsI'm 23! I have gotten some backlash from my family who think I am not independent enough in my relationship. To skirt that, I frame everything as an effort towards partnership. "Why didn't you take that job?! It's such a good opportunity for you!" "Well, our priority is to free up time to create a business in this location, so this job/SAH works better for our long-term goals." If that makes sense. I think the more deferential/submissive language is what irks people so when I talk a lot about "u… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/15 08:59 PM |
| 3 | Simple QuestionsOk I'm not married but am firmly committed, and we've had a lot of these discussions actually by discussing other people/couples that we know. Like we have friends who got married over the summer, then she cheated on her husband, and now they are getting a divorce (my very first AWALT smack in the face lol) and in processing that we talked a lot, in a roundabout way, about our own expectations and opinions about what marriage means. Same goes for things like talking about raising kids, finances,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/15 08:04 PM |
| 2 | How to appear to enjoy sex, even if not?Thanks so much you and /u/FearDearg2015 for clarifying about this! This is a great way to approach it if it's something you're not used to within the relationship. My boyfriend is naturally very good at reading me so I was just thinking of that haha. Hopefully OP comes back so we can see if any of this resonates with her :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/15 07:59 PM |
| 25 | How to appear to enjoy sex, even if not?Have you told him about the pain? I'm sure he doesn't want to hurt you and if you don't say anything he won't know what's happening. If it's internal, definitely talk to your doctor. If it's external, try using more or different lube. Make sure you're hydrated in general and exercising. Also, maybe when he initiates don't just say yes right away, make a playful refusal and turn it into a game so there's more foreplay. Even 5 minutes can make a huge difference for your own mental and physical res… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/15 01:01 PM |
| 5 | Feminist looking for red pill advice.The important thing here is not to adopt an "I told you so" attitude. Welcome any experimentation with new systems even if it's not yours. This is so so key. Remember, it's not important that you are right, or that he acknowledges that you are right -- it's important that you are both growing and supporting each other. I said this the other day, but feminism promotes this "prove you are smarter/better than the boys and make sure they know it" attitude, which really undermines the partnership tha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/15 09:52 PM |
| 4 | Feminist looking for red pill advice.Has he expressed to you that he wants to or intends to deal with the things like the retirement account, and is the problem that he just hasn't done it yet? I'm sure it's clear to him that you know what you're doing, financially, and he may feel really unmotivated to try when he sort of feels you watching and judging from the sidelines, especially if it's something new to him. If he has expressed that he wants to learn these things, maybe you can suggest that he make an appointment with a financ… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/15 09:29 PM |
| 1 | Planners/diariesI have tried so many systems since freshman year of high school (in grad school now) and this is hands down the best one for the way that I work. I keep a running list of to-dos on the right side of the page and cross things off as they get done, and on the left (calendar) side I split the page in half, with appointments on the left and then the mini to-dos (for the day) on the right. I'll upload a photo later if it's hard to envision haha. I love this because I can see the whole week's task lis… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/11/15 09:40 PM |
| 9 | This is why RPW are encouraged to NOT speak to "journalists"In all seriousness though maybe we should add something about, "We believe that people can only change themselves, and so we focus on what women can do to improve their relationships." because her entire premise of argument seems to be that we don't talk about how men should/could do anything. Which of course is what TRP is for but I think that's a pretty common misunderstanding for people who don't read both? | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/11/15 09:31 PM |
| 25 | This is why RPW are encouraged to NOT speak to "journalists"Can we update the sidebar description to "This is a discussion space for women who believe that they are biologically programmed purely to procreate, and see being single in your thirties as an actual tragedy." because the current description is definitely misleading ;) | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/11/15 09:20 PM |
| 2 | Stitch Fix - anyone tried it?But, shockingly, no one has even noticed. I'm trying to do this French/capsule wardrobe thing too and this is super encouraging xD | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/11/15 01:14 PM |
| 1 | Christmas is coming!It's saved me many times over, and it's so much fun to see him be genuinely surprised that I noticed/remembered something from months ago! | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/11/15 01:01 PM |
| 6 | Overcoming victim mentality -transformation storiesHow we use language is so important to our mentalities, both shaping and reflecting it. I don't know if this counts as victim mentality, but one thing that certainly reflects an unwillingness to take responsibility is using excessive modifiers like "I mostly think.." or "usually.." or "If this and this are the case, then..." or "I know this, but..." Or especially when talking about your own actions: "I'll keep trying to..." "I don't think I can..." "I know I should..." instead of saying "I won't… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/11/15 12:54 PM |
| 10 | Leaving the "feminist church" and need some people to talk toOmg that video. The man is one of the most well-respected sociologists in the world and has been in Time's Top 100 Most Influential people. And that girl is SCREAMING at him that he's not there to promote intellectual community, but to make Yale a "place of comfort." throws up a little | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/11/15 12:39 PM |
| 2 | Christmas is coming!What about gifting an experience? Lol I don't know what your budget is, but is there some kind of trip/cruise/event that he would love to go to or a class he'd like to take? Concert or game tickets? Wilderness camping? Five star luxury weekend? Whatever he's into that would otherwise cross his mind as a "someday" thing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/15 10:51 PM |
| 15 | Rekindling an Old FlameDo you even know if he's single? You should just be friendly, "Hey, X, remember me from high school? How are you doing?" and then follow his lead from there. Whether he is or is not interested in rekindling anything will become clear pretty quickly. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/15 07:02 PM |
| 5 | Leaving the "feminist church" and need some people to talk toListen, I'm just glad he put up with me while I learned how not to be a selfish b-tch haha | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/15 06:02 PM |
| 8 | Leaving the "feminist church" and need some people to talk to+1 to the don't be a smartass know it all. I used to start totally unnecessary arguments with my SO because I "had to prove I was right/smarter/more informed" on something. I was actually tearing him down in my own eyes even if I was right, and then feeding my own sense of smug superiority. Not cute and created bad feeling all around. But now I use the things that I know to make sure he is informed, and to have intelligent conversation, and he loves that I am able to keep up with him and bring m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/15 05:46 PM |
| 6 | Is curiosity about his romantic past an ugly trait in a woman?As things get more serious with him, maybe you can start a conversation by telling him you want to be open about your past and make sure he has a good picture of where you've been/where you are now, and then tell him you want to answer any questions he might have. You're being vulnerable, but this shows that you trust him and want to be totally honest with him, which is an attractive quality. I think it's likely that he will respond by sharing some of his own past. If not, you can gently ask. Bu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/15 03:01 PM |
| 1 | Christmas is coming!I keep a running list through the year of things I notice that would either solve some problem in his life or add luxury/comfort that he normally wouldn't spend on. So, this year, a good travel jacket, a new guitar case, and a super nice electric razor. Last year I did this whole 12 days of Christmas gifts leading up to Christmas day with different themes and wrapping and notes and I think it kind of overwhelmed him haha. So, sticking to the basics this time ;) | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/15 02:58 PM |
| 5 | Is curiosity about his romantic past an ugly trait in a woman?Have you talked with him about about your own romantic/sexual past yet? I find that usually those conversations go together. It's pretty normal for partners to be curious about each other's past. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/15 01:47 PM |
| 1 | How did you name your children?No kids yet but I always think it's nice when there is some story/person connected with the name - it helps kids feel a sense of belonging and connection with history (whether cultural or family). I'm the only of my siblings who has a random name instead of one with a story or meaning and I always resented it a little lol. If his mom has been important in your lives, it could be a really nice connection for your daughter later. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/15 04:35 PM |
| 2 | How did you name your children?This is common at least in some Latino cultures, I have a friend who she and her sisters are all Maria + second name, and they all go by the second name. Maybe that's his norm? | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/15 04:25 PM |
| 1 | What are some red flags that single RPW should look out for?Oh, yeah that does make sense. I think I misunderstood your comment. Thanks for clarifying! | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/15 06:02 PM |
| 3 | What are some red flags that single RPW should look out for?the right man commands desire to a frequency at a level he wants So she's saying that the right man, for her, would have a "frequency at a level he wants" that matches her own sexual conservativeness. She knows that about herself and "spent time talking about this beforehand" so she would be on the same page as any man she moved into a relationship with. This is actually pretty RPW, as she knows herself, and is taking extra steps to ensure that the man also knows this and that it aligns with his… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/15 04:12 PM |
| 2 | RP women, can you off any advice about dating an older man?Just something to keep in mind as the relationship plays out, I didn't realize it was so new. I like /u/TempestTCup's idea of taking on a more "big sister" role but it will obviously depend on the situation. Make sure to let him lead in terms of how he wants to include you in that aspect of his family life! | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/15 10:34 PM |
| 5 | What are some red flags that single RPW should look out for?I think it all boils down to finding a man who you respect, probably by going to places where men would be doing things that you respect. Those things (and hence the red flags) vary woman to woman. The best thing is to know yourself well enough to know what will cause you to lose or gain respect for a man, and then vet accordingly. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/15 10:28 PM |
| 0 | Friday Evening Anxiety/Help Quashing Need to Control/Please reassure me that my boyfriend is not an awful person and that this is just a dude thingGirl, you know what you need to do - chill out, trust him, and support his guy time. Pick a couple of "guilty pleasure" shows/movies that you love and save them for Friday. After you get ready, sit down with some popcorn [or even wine, pregame on your own haha] and enjoy some relaxed time until he calls. This way you're looking forward to Friday nights because it's a time to let yourself do nothing productive, and then you get to go out with him as an added bonus. RE his drinking and spontaneous… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/15 10:00 PM |
| 7 | RP women, can you off any advice about dating an older man?I can't really speak to the age difference, but you'll have to very carefully consider the daughter thing - you're closer in age to his daughter than to him. That could be a weird dynamic if you're not all three on the same page of how things work in terms of authority, roles, etc. Have you met her? How involved does he want to be in her life at this point? | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/15 01:13 AM |
| 5 | Lurkers, we would love to hear from you!This cracked me up, I also found TRP/RPW through a friend being like "Look at this craziness that some people think, isn't it awful, I'm so upset" and then I lurked for like a year before making a Reddit account haha | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/15 01:01 AM |
| 2 | Trying To Build A UnicornIf you're not interested in her sexually/relationally don't put much effort into helping her, especially sexually. If you do, she will probably "imprint" on you (for lack of a better word), and then you will leave her somewhat alpha widowed, which will really not help her future relationships. Point her to some youtube tutorials or something like RPW if you feel comfortable with that. Suggest she take an acting class to help with her social awareness/presentation. Introduce her to any of your fr… | /r/askTRP | 09/11/15 12:49 AM |
| 7 | "Women should be paid for emotional labor"worth millions and millions for the emotional labor and was as much to credit for his team's success as he was How is that real | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/11/15 09:53 PM |
| 9 | "Women should be paid for emotional labor"Yeah that's pretty much how I felt too... the whole approach is incredibly immature and selfish, not to mention how they talk about their husbands. As part of this generation it's pretty sickening to see, because I know girls who will totally jump on this to prove that they are doing all this extra work and deserve rewards for it. Also the sex thing was just ridiculous. It is interesting though, because I AM practicing things like remembering birthdays, keeping track of the house, being pleasant… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/11/15 08:19 PM |
| 4 | Who Would You Say Is An Ideal Candidate (Living Or Deceased) To Model Your Red Pill Women Behavior After?I agree with you! My SO has definitely been my biggest example of integrity, compassion, courage, and overall strength of character like you said. Makes it an honor to be loved by him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/11/15 02:12 PM |
| 3 | Who Would You Say Is An Ideal Candidate (Living Or Deceased) To Model Your Red Pill Women Behavior After?She often uses a lot of pseudo-science in her videos just to have an interesting topic to talk about so don't worry too much about it haha. Yeah, she gives me hope that I can someday be that self-possessed and peaceful! | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/11/15 02:01 PM |
| 3 | Who Would You Say Is An Ideal Candidate (Living Or Deceased) To Model Your Red Pill Women Behavior After?Most First Ladies seem to be somewhat RPW - maybe not in personal life, who knows, but at least in the public eye they are always very supportive of their husbands and put together. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/11/15 01:55 PM |
| 2 | Who Would You Say Is An Ideal Candidate (Living Or Deceased) To Model Your Red Pill Women Behavior After?Yes! I find it really relaxing even though I don't get the "tingles" response that some people describe. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/11/15 01:53 PM |
| 6 | Who Would You Say Is An Ideal Candidate (Living Or Deceased) To Model Your Red Pill Women Behavior After?The problem is that true RPW (in terms of lifestyle and attitude) are rarely in the spotlight of history or media, by nature, so I will be super interested to hear what examples come up! In terms only of femininity in behaviour, I really love watching GentleWhispering's ASMR videos. She has such a calm presence and cheerful demeanor, it's very inspiring :) https://www.youtube.com/user/GentleWhispering (main page) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUct97ij3HY (makeup video) https://www.youtube.com/… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/11/15 02:50 AM |
| 3 | Meatless Man FoodBut also, have you tried to make/purchase falafel? Super filling, can have a meat-y taste, and can be part of a mediterranean-theme with hummus, pita, veg, etc. And, obviously you know how your dynamic works with dinners, his expectations, etc. so maybe he would like something new and meatless. It did sound like you had decided to start the Meatless Mondays thing, and at least I didn't understand that this meal was to start a conversation about it! | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/15 08:58 PM |
| 5 | Meatless Man FoodHas he said that he wants to/is willing to have some meatless dinners? Edit: just saw the clarifying comment. Maybe it's better to ask him first even if it's a experiment? Just so he knows what your goals are (whether it's variety, health, w/e) and then it's something you're doing together. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/15 08:38 PM |
| 3 | Depression free. Am left with the smoldering remains of my marriage.Along with all the other amazing advice given here which I don't want to just repeat: Your husband sounds like he deeply cares for you. He's stuck with you through tough times, has been willing to go to counseling, wants you to be happy even if the communication lines are getting crossed, and he is leading you in this recovery with this plan to slowly reintroduce yourselves to each other as you heal. Fall in love with him again! Study him. Find out what things make him happy and excited, and pur… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/15 07:27 PM |
| 1 | Weekly reflection thread: 11/02/15Congrats on dropping the soda, that's a big change to make! Try making water more enjoyable to drink as you're transitioning - maybe use sparkling water if you miss the carbonation, or infuse some water bottles with different fruits/herbs and store them in the fridge so you can just pull one out whenever you think of it (lots of recipes to google). I bet the convenience of having cold water at the ready will help you drink more frequently; often what keeps me from drinking water is not wanting t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/15 01:20 PM |
| 3 | Differences Between Red Pill Women & The Red PillFrom the sidebar, which I think sums up most people's feelings on the differences: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1giney/welcome_to_red_pill_women/ Edit: although I guess if you're a long time lurker you've seen that already? Are you asking about something specific in the differences? | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/11/15 12:59 AM |
| 1 | Dealing with unsolicited gifts?Thank you! I agree about the awkward discussion/defensive thing, which is what I wanted to avoid. Thankfully he hasn't brought it up and I haven't interacted with him since, so I think he gets the message. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/11/15 03:01 PM |
| 2 | Dealing with unsolicited gifts?That's how I felt about the note too! I talked about it with my SO and if anything else happens I will definitely have a talk as you've described. For now, I don't want to give him even that attention. It's one of those instances where he is pushing boundaries little by little to see what I will allow and so I've cut any kind of interaction. He seems to be getting the message. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/11/15 02:56 PM |
| 11 | How do you meet a red pill man?This may seem like a roundabout way to do it, but go to group activities that align strongly with your own values and passions. Anything from rockclimbing, art shows, church, activist groups, cooking clubs, whatever it is that you are passionate about (that would be co-ed of course). If you meet a man who is independently pursuing things that you already value, you will have a baseline respect for him automatically, which lays a foundation for a RP-type relationship. You can work together toward… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/11/15 02:16 PM |
| 1 | PatiencePractice by savouring small things! Instead of watching/reading something while you eat, focus wholly on the experience of eating the meal. Or list all the sensory things you notice while taking a shower. Or go stand and look at a beautiful tree for a few minutes rather than driving past it. Anchor your mind to the moment that your body is in, by focusing on sounds, smells, tastes. etc. (I think this is basically mindfulness) This helps you practice the mindset of appreciating the moment you're … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/15 01:38 AM |
| 1 | What is a good online store I can go to get quality lingerie?So true! I tried so hard to make a variety of interesting breakfasts whenever we're together until he finally I realized that he is actually totally content with omelettes. So easy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/15 01:15 AM |
| 2 | What is a good online store I can go to get quality lingerie?I was so shocked when he told me that, but what a relief, right? I guess he just likes to get straight to the point ;) | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/15 01:07 AM |
| 3 | What is a good online store I can go to get quality lingerie?My SO once told me "I don't care about fancy-looking lingerie, I'd rather just see you naked. So buy something comfortable that feels nice on skin and is easy to take off." Sounds like it may be a more universal truth that I thought ;) | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/15 12:58 PM |
| 2 | Dealing with unsolicited gifts?Thank you!! This is a great post and eerily similar to my own journey with this, haha. I really appreciate the point of "no one is entitled to your niceness." I've never put it that way but it's so true! I haven't talked to my SO yet because he's at work, but I'm pretty sure he will just ask "what do you think you should do?" so I wanted to get some perspective on the whole thing first. Thank you so much for this! | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/10/15 06:15 PM |
| 3 | Changing your personalityI really like this approach! I was thinking she could ask him to kiss her on the nose ten times every morning or something so she unlearns the dodging reflex (and overdoing it will be funny as they count down the kisses) but this is a great way to turn it into play :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/15 06:27 PM |
| 3 | Changing your personalityThis part "bringing up my faults doesn't do anything anymore because he knows all this about me" reminds me of myself a few months ago! My SO would criticize some behavior (usually pretty gently but...), I would get defensive and try to prove why I was right, then at some point I would calm down realize "he's right" and then get super emotional and feel terrible and promise to keep trying to change, but often repeat it later, and he got pretty exhausted of that cycle. Eventually I realized that … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/15 04:46 PM |
| 14 | Dumped guy because he didn't have any ambition to support a family. Feeling like crap because there was chemistry. He also asked me to keep in touch. Advice?I think you answered yourself when you said "I'm very lonely, which is why I'm hooked onto this guy." It doesn't mean you're connected on a cosmic scale, it means you are attracted to him and he is the only prospect in front of you so you're dwelling on him. It seems like, rationally, you know what kind of life/man you want and you know that this guy will probably not be it in the long run. That's ok, that's what dating is for, to figure that out. There will be plenty of other men who you are at… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/15 08:40 PM |
| 7 | Is it that wrong and bad to be earning more than your boyfriend? ;(Yes, then this is almost certainly a factor in what's happening... imagine if he joked with you repeatedly that his exes were prettier than you. No matter how much he tells you "oh, but you know, looks don't matter to me", you're always going to think "if he had that thought at all, there must be some truth to it" and feel less confident. Same thing. Here's what you can do to resolve that: Stop making those jokes, like, yesterday. Resolve to never bring up the topic in jokes, in arguments, or in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/15 04:44 PM |
| 7 | Is it that wrong and bad to be earning more than your boyfriend? ;(Sounds like he really wants to be a provider for you and take care of you, and wants to know that he can do that on his own. Have you ever, and I do mean EVER, made a joke at his expense about earning more, or brought it up in an argument? The smallest, "least significant, he knows it was a joke" instance of this can ring very loud in his ears as proof that you don't really see him as a good provider, undermine his confidence in himself and his role in the relationship, and cause him to withdraw… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/15 01:38 PM |
| 2 | Question about travelling as a single girlYour goals and your conduct while traveling make the biggest difference here. If you're getting smashed for a week with your team in Ibiza for the sake of the nightclub selfies, that's a red flag. If you're visiting cultural sites for team bonding, that's not. Of course it's going to vary with your SO too, and his experiences and opinions. I regret some of the travel I did in the past because I went to places that my SO has always dreamed of, and now we don't have the chance to experience that f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/10/15 04:26 PM |
| 7 | Need help coping with resentment in my long-distance LTR, and channeling emotions positively.Try to view your time "alone" as time to prepare to be his best woman. It's easier to stay in a RPW frame that way. Cook dinners enough for two instead of one, read up on topics relevant to his interests, practice skills you know he appreciates etc. so that you can put that all into practice effortlessly when you do get to be together. And also give yourself permission to be, actually, not busy. When my and my man are separated, I find that I tend to spend a lot of time alone doing boring stuff … | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/10/15 12:40 AM |
| 1 | Ladies, how would you deal with your man's lack of passion?Thanks, I never get to brag on my man in real life so it's nice to be able to here :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/09/15 02:12 PM |
| 3 | Ladies, how would you deal with your man's lack of passion?One piece of advice often given here with regards to these conversations that has really helped me: give him an opportunity to lead and be a man by telling him how you FEEL, rather than deciding what you want and blaming him for not meeting up to it. This gives him an opportunity to solve the problem - rather than having to defend himself for not solving it your way. You may be surprised by him. I broke down a few weeks ago to my boyfriend because of similar fears, but instead of blaming or atta… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/09/15 01:23 PM |
| 15 | Vegan ladies, I need some advice for my non-vegan husband.** as everyone has said, DON'T force a lifestyle change on your husband. Your marriage is more important than getting one person to eat vegan. Also you seem to be valuing the opinions of your new vegan community more than those of your husband, which is a much deeper problem of priorities you need to consider. More specifically: I also became vegan after watching Cowspiracy (and also have a man who still loves meat). I assume because you cite Cowspiracy as your reason for change, you're focusing… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/15 02:13 PM |
| 6 | Feminine, Flattering, and Comfortable SleepwearIf you can get past the weirdness of buying lingerie on Amazon, you can find a lot of reasonably priced things! I bought these for a friend's bachelorette, and she absolutely loves them, comfy and sexy with lots of color choices: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BJORNSI?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s01 | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/09/15 04:33 PM |
| 1 | Advice Please: Should I take the risk of going to the same college as my boyfriend?1) If he has your best interests at heart, and is thinking about a long-term future together, he will recognize that you getting the best education/connections you can will set you both up for the most success in the future - and he'll ultimately encourage you to do that. 2) College is a time when both of you will be growing and probably changing quite a bit. In my experience (two-year, very long distance relationship during college), being in an LDR at this time can actually be really beneficia… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/15 06:24 PM |
| 3 | My [23] BF [22] of 3.5 years does not want a serious relationship with meHi OP, I'm in a similar place of life and age, and the truth is that 22-year-olds can, in fact, commit and make calls about their long-term future - especially when it comes to relationships. I agree with you that it's wise to build up finances and general stability before moving in/getting married. But you can commit to building a future with a person, even if you don't know exactly what that future looks like yet. It sounds like that that's where you want to be, but your boyfriend is not. It's… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/03/15 04:14 PM |
| 1 | Once a Feminist, not anymore. Now what?Good words. Thank you!! | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/03/15 03:02 AM |
| 2 | Once a Feminist, not anymore. Now what?I'd love to hear some more ideas of what a feminine strength looks like/how to develop it! | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/03/15 01:19 PM |
| 3 | RPW, what are you struggling with?Meditation, maybe? There's an app called Calm that takes you though guided mediation with calming sounds, and you can choose how long the "session" will be. Just having something else (like this) to do that changes your breathing and thoughts when you feel anxious can be very helpful in managing how it affects you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/03/15 01:54 AM |
| 1 | how to rehab your man from his past bad relationshipsYou could maybe look into some active listening strategies just to emphasize that since it's something he's been hurt by, but sounds like you're doing a lot right! Keep at it, building a trusting relationship always takes time :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/03/15 03:32 AM |
| 1 | how to rehab your man from his past bad relationshipsAw, thank you so much! I'm still learning on the anticipating-needs front - any tips? | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/03/15 03:28 AM |
| 9 | how to rehab your man from his past bad relationshipsJust to add to this spot-on post and all the other advice about being consistent: maybe think about some things to continue building trust that specifically addresses some of his past? For example, if you know an ex cheated on him while drinking at a party, make a point to avoid drinking without your SO. Or if an ex flirted a lot through social media, offer him access to your accounts. Or if an ex always minimized his accomplishments, make an effort to celebrate them (even in cheesy ways like ma… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/03/15 08:31 PM |
| 2 | How to be RPW when situation is reversed?I'm in a similar situation right now, here are two practical things that have really helped me: 1) Ask for his advice, and then act on it. That way he's making the decision (but you're framing it a bit differently than "make this decision please!") This goes for everything from asking advice about situations at work, about going out ("I feel like eating something light tonight, where do you think is a good restaurant for that?"), financial things, maybe even small things like what to wear. When … | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/03/15 02:20 PM |
| 5 | What are your favorite RP friendly songs?OMI - Cheerleader which has been high up on the charts globally. Pretty much a sunny pop remix describing how a man feels about his [RP?] woman - she's his cheerleader, always in his corner, gives him love and affection, grants his wishes like a genie in a bottle... no deep themes here but it always makes me smile. Also this hook makes me laugh: "[she says] Do you need me, do you think I'm pretty, do I make you feel like cheating... and I'm like no, not really.." mostly because the song makes th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/02/15 03:35 AM |
| 4 | The pill is sitting in my mouth but there's one last thing. I've typed every combination into the search bar. Question about partner reciprocation.I don't think wanting this kind of balance is problematic, but rather going into a relationship with the mindset of expecting and demanding it. Then you start focusing more on the relationship than on your man, keeping a mental tally, and building resentment... Instead, make him and his well-being your goal, and I bet he will naturally reciprocate. It will take some effort to understand and accept the ways that he reciprocates, and lots of communication on both your parts to figure out how to be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/02/15 11:17 PM |
| 3 | Moving in togetherAgreed! Especially for kitchen stuff - really good vintage Pyrex bowls, sometimes cast-iron pans, and always woks. If you can embrace the eclectic aesthetic, you can mix and match dishes and silverware too to make complete sets :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/15 01:10 AM |
| 2 | How do you meet and pick your men?Volunteering regularly at a charity is a great way to meet and work with men who share some values with you! Choose something that you really care about and you'll be genuinely interested and doing good too. This is how my best friend met her SO - they ran an event together, so they got to know each other for a totally different purpose, but ended up talking a lot and getting meals together, and the rest is history. And even if it doesn't work out to meet a man, it'll also help you grow your own… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/02/15 03:25 PM |
| 4 | all this talk of "sigmas"... i need some adviceYou are responsible for your mindset. If you dwell on what you've "lost" with this relationship, yes, it will poison things. But if you consciously focus on what you have gained and what is great about your man, that's what you act out of. It sounds like you have decided that your SO and the future he represents is what you want - so be stable in that. If you want more intellectual stimulation, you can always seek out classes or book groups or some other kind of hobby that engages and interests … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/15 06:25 PM |
| 4 | The doorknob incident that wasn'tThis is such a good way of rephrasing! Gets at the heart of expressing your concern without demanding or guilt-tripping. Will definitely be using this in the future :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/15 03:22 AM |
| 1 | Thoughts on Sigma males?The addiction thing is really interesting - I haven't seen that in my SO, but I could imagine it under certain circumstances. Everything else sounds like my experience, down to the military background. Do you think that has had any influence on his sigma traits? | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/15 02:43 AM |
| 8 | Thoughts on Sigma males?Two things come to mind: the flip side of deep observation/thinking can be destructive overthinking of situations, and the flip side of being self-reliant means that when he does fail, he blames himself very harshly, which (as u/laeliaorchids mentioned) tends to become a depression that's hard to escape. He also doesn't have many close friends - he doesn't trust easily, and I think there's a "lone wolf" sense about him that people respect, but don't pursue. He can come across as arrogant because… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/15 02:36 AM |
| 13 | Thoughts on Sigma males?Based on these descriptors, my SO is a sigma, and here's my two cents from knowing him: where alphas are like the high school football player archetype, sigmas are like the mysterious bad boy who no one can quite pin down (stupid example, but like Patrick from 10 Things I Hate About You). Alphas gain strength by drawing people into their frame: that's why they end up as celebrities, CEOs, playboys, that kind of thing with lots of people surrounding/under them. A sigma's strength of frame remains… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/15 05:39 AM |
| 2 | SO doesn't like makeupMy SO is the same way as yours, he really prefers me without makeup - I use makeup as a bit of a mental crutch to feel more put-together, but I'm transitioning out of that! The biggest helps I've found to keep a groomed/professional appearance without it are 1) take care of your skin, r/skincareaddiction is very helpful in understanding a healthy routine for whatever your goal is; 2) groom your eyebrows! Keeping them shaped and clean makes the biggest difference in your face, even more than make… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/02/15 04:48 PM |
| 6 | I've spent my whole life fighting men.Just want to add agreement for this comment. Due to various circumstances and the goals I know my SO has for his life, there will be many times where he is not around/available to help me through emotional situations, meltdowns, issues, etc. He needs me to be emotionally self-reliant, and to be able to trust me to effectively deal with sh*t when he's not around. That makes me a valuable partner to him, so I've been working a lot on developing that strength. The key is that I WANT to be a valuabl… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/15 08:48 PM |
| 7 | Anime recommendationsClannad and Clannad After Story are not strictly RP, but one of the major themes is how a loving and feminine-spirited woman inspires a man to become his best, and it has a lot of really interesting characters and relationships. It's also a very beautiful depiction of modern Japanese life and might break your heart. Sword Art Online is also great - speaking of gaming analogies lately, this show is that pushed into the extreme. Asuna is my favorite anime heroine: strong, supportive of Kirito and … | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/01/15 12:09 PM |
| 2 | Where to begin?!thank you! First post so I was getting a bit nervous haha | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/01/15 12:51 AM |
| 11 | Where to begin?!The first and hardest step for me was to take a look at myself very honestly - recognizing when I was being selfish in the relationship, shit-tests, that kind of thing. One thing I realized is that I constantly told him what to do, or argued with his decision, but only for the sake of seeing myself be right. Example: "why didn't you take the highway! Traffic is not that bad this time of day! Look, I'll even look it up, see? This way is actually slower!" or constantly prodding him "why did you ma… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/01/15 07:41 PM |
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