Processing Becoming More Dependent

Washiface · 2015-11-24T23:36:03+00:00

Where are you moving to?

2015-11-24T23:23:52+00:00

I agree with the budgeting / allowance idea! My husband makes the overwhelming majority of the money we have, as I don't work anymore. As we each have "fun money" every month, I have let go of the guilt associated with spending money that he earned.

As far as the dependence thing goes, it's something I struggle with too. Like you, I have worked in IT, and it's a field that (in my opinion) is very easy to dip in and out of. That is a comfort to me, because I feel like I can always fall back on it or change my mind.

I worked for about 20 years before my husband and I decided we'd like things better if I didn't. It has worked out really really well for us, even financially (because he has more energy to focus on his career), but there is a huge stigma with me being a stay at home wife since we don't have kids. It's especially baffling to people why I'd give up a lucrative career to stay at home, and I've gotten a fair amount of judgment about it. I'd honestly say the stigma is the hardest part for me at this point, but the upside is you learn who really likes you for you :)

shinesunshine · 2015-11-24T20:29:27+00:00

I can imagine you are scared. I can imagine how terrifying it is, but there are many positives. If you got a super awesome job abroad everyone would be congratulating you, not saying 'what if you get fired?' 'What if you don't get paid enough?' - this is just the same. Also bear in mind you can't work for this period but you can still treat it like work and learn a new skill, do housework, grow your own veg etc etc.

Anyway, have you talked about finances after the move? Would you have a joint account or separate ones? Maybe you'd like am 'allowance' or maybe he will just trust you enough with whatever you buy - my husband would never question one of my purchases as they're usually very well thought through and fugal.

Would you be able to volunteer? Will you want a job when you can work? Will it be in the same field?

CoochQuarantine · 2015-11-24T19:44:18+00:00

Well with the books... library.

Aside from that I am guessing the issue is more about not being financially independent. I would take one of two routes. 1. Work freelance stuff. I don't know if that would be feasible for the field you are in but may be something to consider. 2. If he is taking you to another country, HE UNDERSTANDS THAT YOU CAN'T WORK RIGHT AWAY. That doesn't mean that you are using him for money. That means you are allowing him to take care of you while you are out of commission. That is what a partner does. In that time, be frugal. Be conscious of what you spend on. Show him that you are a good partner in that way. It isn't a permanent situation. Good luck to you. Europe is exciting.

cats_or_get_out · 2015-11-24T19:27:22+00:00

Are you married?

Title	Processing Becoming More Dependent
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	18
Date	November 24, 2015 7:20 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3u45ey/processing_becoming_more_dependent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/processing-becoming-more-dependent.166564 https://theredarchive.com/post/166564

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