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View 2 posts and 36 comments by fredatbu on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

fredatbu/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 05:18 AM
2

fredatbu/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 04:32 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
41

Go directly to divorce. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. In my experience, “she needs to get her mind straight” and “‘tickets to travel’ when she is feeling bad” both mean she is dealing with the anxiety and cognitive dissonance caused by cheating. Her dad sounds like a real gem. Don’t listen to him. Don’t give up on all you have worked for his spoiled daughter who is already probably cheating on you. Ask yourself what is she bringing to the marriage? What does she do to support you, your ne…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 12:43 PM
2

I would sell it if she gave it back. But that’s not bloody likely.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 12:08 PM
2

Great job with your kids! That’s amazing. The single mom you are chatting to might be all those things. Or she might be lying to you. Or she might be putting on a good show. Most likely a combination of these things are true. Slow down and figure out which is which before you commit to her. Even in your own head. Especially in your own head.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 12:17 PM
2

My vote = Move on. Don’t sit around waiting for another helping of crazy. You and your kids deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 11:14 PM
9

She’s already cheating on you. Sorry. Some day soon you will not care. Focus on your kids. Focus on yourself. Take the above advice to heart. Life is about doing hard things. You just won the lottery of life challenges. You will beat them. You have done hard things and you will continue to do hard things. Take it day by day. We are here for you. Edit: She is cheating because she doesn’t respect you. That’s on her, not you. But being nice to her only makes it worse.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 10:58 AM
11

Having been on the receiving end, I would never mess around with another dude’s wife. Never. It’s total shit, especially if there are kids involved to destroy a marriage. That said, if the marriage is already over, I don’t think you are hurting the other guy or the marriage. But are you sure it is over? Have they filed for divorce? Has the other guy given up? How do you know? So it might be safer to wait until the divorce is official. Also, probably safer for you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 08:13 PM
1

If you don’t know any attorneys or people who work with them, find the bar website for your state and find out if your state has something called “board certification.” If so, search for an attorney that is “board certified in Family Law.” Interview attorneys and ask how they would handle your case.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 12:15 PM
3

A good lawyer is expensive. A bad lawyer is very expensive. Find a good lawyer that specializes in Family Law. Best way is to get referrals from attorneys. Do you have any friends or family that are attorneys or work with attorneys? If so, ask them to help you find a good Family Law lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 11:44 AM
3

I am sorry this happened to you, brother. You tried to build something with her. You put time, energy, trust, love, and all of yourself into the relationship. Your care for another person is condemnable. But you need to care for yourself first. Letting go of friendships, hobbies, your identity outside of her was something you should never do. To be a complete person, you need to have an identity not based on your spouse. And to protect that identity you need to have boundaries. It will be harsh …
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 12:56 PM
2

Drop that passenger off. Pickup a therapist. Get some exercise. Fight for your daughter. Rebuild your life. It is hard, but you can do hard things. Doing hard things is what life is about.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 05:54 PM
6

In my experience, fathers always get shafted on Father’s Day. Mother’s Day is in May. Elementary school kids are still in school and they always make stuff for mom. By Father’s Day the kids are out of school and we get zilch. One time teacher tried to be equitable and had the kids make a coaster for Father’s Day, my kid just assumed it was for mom and gave it to her. Sheesh! This was the first Mother’s Day since we agreed to divorce. I bought her flowers and a card for the kids to sign as a sign…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 10:46 PM
1

And now you know she’s a liar and you can’t trust her. You needed to know that to protect yourself (and your kids if you have any). Good luck, my friend. I agree with others that it gets easier. I wouldn’t touch my STBXW with someone else’s dick at this point. When I look at her I see someone who is lying to me (and probably herself) and lacks enough self-confidence to trust another. I feel more pity than anger at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 10:40 AM
1

I hope it helped you to write that. Helped me to read it. Maybe because it’s easier to see the shit behavior in some else’s home. Cheers to learning not to love someone this poisonous.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 11:30 PM
13

Not trying to be a jerk, but maybe try a new counselor. I was in counseling for over 2 years. Took a while to find a counselor that helped. Looking for a new one now. You are still grieving your marriage. That relationship is over and it may take time to get over it and move on, but it sounds like you are still mired in it. Hopefully that will get better with time. You have to be to a person first, before you can be a husband or even a father. Focus on yourself and then your kids. “Put your mask…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 10:45 AM
1

You can’t make someone else happy. Focus on yourself and your kid. Build a life for the two of you. Your kid needs you. Exercise everyday. Get counseling. Get a lawyer. “A good lawyer is expensive. A bad lawyer is very expensive.” Reach out to your friends and family. If you don’t have friends, make some. Go to meetups. Develop hobbies.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 10:14 AM
15

Have you tried counseling. Sounds like your kids need you, bro.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 09:42 AM
2

That’s f’d, but hopefully not close to the norm. Sorry, dude. Regardless, you gotta do what you need to do to protect your kids and yourself. Married to my STBXW for 22 years. Started dating her seriously while she was living with her parents and two of her sisters were still in high school. We have lived in the same state as most of her family and farther from mine for the length of our marriage. So, I have known most of her family for more than half my life. I have my own relationship with the…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 09:34 AM
1

It’s annoying, but I remind myself that she is lying and hiding stuff from me, and the feeling goes away somehow.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 08:48 AM
3

Rebuild yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 03:38 AM
4

I’ve come to talk with you again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 12:08 AM
1

Source = OP. “… have a medical card for its legal use.”
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 12:04 AM
1

Lawyers know lawyers. If you have a friend or relative who is a lawyer, ask them to help find you a good lawyer. A good lawyer is expensive. A bad lawyer is very expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 07:54 PM
2

His use is legal. Her’s is not. He isn’t driving under the influence. Completely different.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 07:46 PM
3

I am sorry, brother. I know it’s hard. Here are a couple of things I remind myself of when I am feeling this way: Everything you said you did for her, you also did for yourself. It wasn’t wasted. You are a better person today. You have done hard things in the past and you can and will do hard things in the future. Challenges will not stop you. When you are upset about what you can’t do, ask yourself what can you do, and do that. Invest in yourself. Exercise. Join a club. Invest in your relations…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 12:08 PM
1

Yeah, it’s worth it when your X was not capable of being faithful and you were teaching your boys by example that this is okay.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 04:25 AM
0

Marriage = commitment. It’s a choice, to be with someone forever. Its that simple. If it’s 5 years with an option to renew, you aren’t really committed. Some people say you can never leave, but for me that’s a bridge too far. Unconditional love doesn’t mean I will treat you the same no matter how you treat me. Marriage is simple it’s people and the state that have fuct it. People that don’t understand the meaning of commitment. And the state that has an agenda fueled by interest groups. I don’t …
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 04:13 AM
5

This is making me think: follow the pinned advice re no dating.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 05:12 AM
4

Working on making my rented house a home for my three youngest kids. Beer-can chicken and sweet corn for dinner.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 04:15 PM
3

Sorry, man. That’s hell on the nerves.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 04:14 PM
1

Thanks. I have been doing that with my senior. It is working well. Plus, I often steal him for late night tacos, which is great bonding time. My relationship with my STBX is frustrating. I think she wants me to have good relationships with the kids, but she doesn’t always see the ways she gets in the way of that. And if she feels attacked she is crazy vindictive.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 08:11 PM
1

My STBXW never home schooled. Spent more time drinking wine with her work-wife than helping the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 02:39 PM
1

Concur. You need a change. And probably a new therapist. She doesn’t sound like a good partner. Can you see a future without her where you will be happier?
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 02:37 PM
4

See a counselor. Figure out what it is you want. Then go for it. If you want to save the marriage, but she doesn’t, move on. It’s over. Regardless, focus on you and your kids. Go to the gym. Find your purpose. Find Strong Successful Male on YouTube.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 02:31 PM
4

No thanks. I hate having them for dinner and then giving them back. Feels almost like visitation. I don’t want to visit my kids. I want them to live with me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 02:00 PM
1

I understand this varies a lot from state to state. My state still as permanent alimony. The norm for me would be paying alimony every day until either I die or she remarries. On top of that she gets 1/2 of my 401k. This totally sucks! There has been a bill to change it every year for a decade, people think it will pass, but it has not.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 12:22 PM
4

Thank you all. Very much appreciate the advice and encouragement. Why am I afraid to do what I want? I never wanted my job to me my top priority in life. Always wanted my kids to be. Comprised so my wife could be a stay at home mom at a huge cost to me. I don’t think she ever even understood that. Now, I have a chance to right this ship. And I will! Thanks again!
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 12:16 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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