Just starting a divorce. Married over 20 years. 4 kids at home. One will be a high school senior this fall.

My STBXW was a stay at home mom for most of our marriage. I work a stressful professional services job where I sell my time (i.e., if I want to make more $, I have to work more hours). She just recently started working again and makes about 1/4 of my total compensation. She currently works from home 95% of the time. I work from my office most of the time. I usually don’t have to travel too much, but sometimes I do. She very rarely has to travel for her job. We live in the same school zone (I rent a house 5 mins from where she lives in the house we own).

I have a lot of flexibility in my schedule but it will be hard to maintain my same compensation if I have the kids 50% of the time. My STBXW is pushing to have the kids every school night. It would be easy for me to be the weekend only dad, but I think that the kids will be better off with two parents involved in their school and extracurricular stuff. Should I insist on 50:50 custody? Should I agree to 4 nights, 3 nights?

I love my kids and would rather work less and spend more time with them. Why should I agree to less than 50:50? So I can work more to pay for material stuff? I am not used to being around them that much, because I have always put in long hours. But I can change, right?

Rising senior will probably live with his mom full time. That is what he will choose if we let him and I don’t think I will improve my relationship with him by demanding he live with me 50% of the nights.