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awesomelybearded Archive

View 5 posts and 130 comments by awesomelybearded on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

And it was worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 02:57 AM
2

I’ll sell you a dog for $50k.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 07:16 PM
2

I agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/23 05:42 AM
15

And if you don’t have kids and are 29, you’ll be fine - you have your whole life ahead of you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:40 PM
1

In PA, you don’t get anything else, estate-wise, for proving it even if you can and do. You’d have to show the marriage was happy and golden, too, before their actions, to impact custody matters. PA is odd, being not community property but also incredibly difficult to get anything other than 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:39 PM
3

Friends’ couches for two months, then a Walmart air mattress for two years. It gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 11:00 AM
6

I can’t imagine how difficult this is. I’m so sorry, my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 03:04 PM
1

Also: r/bpdlovedones will help immeasurably.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 04:14 PM
2

Most of us, I think.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 04:14 PM
1

How’s that going?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 11:00 PM
1

If you don’t have kids, you need to get out.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 01:46 AM
1

In my county you basically have to stab someone before a simple assault charge will stick. He was convicted at trial of harassment, which I think is a summary offense? Probably cost $10k in legal fees. They ‘broke up’ like two months later. She married some other guy, a convicted felon with a high school education twenty years older, literally four days after the divorce decree went through. Amber Heard is a sweetheart, by comparison. This subreddit and r/BPDLovedOnes saved me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 07:16 PM
4

Well, in PA you can’t get a restraining order / PFA unless it’s your lover. So even after the shithead fucking my wife sucker punched me, I couldn’t file anything against him other than simple assault charges. She kept bringing my two kids (ages 3 and 1 at the time) to his hotels rooms, paid for by his company. I never took things to their companies, though I often wish I would have.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 05:04 PM
2

r/bpdlovedones
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 09:43 PM
15

What the fuck? If you give up 50/50, you will never get it back after things settle out. You need to be slapped.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 02:49 AM
3

50/50 - they need you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 02:05 PM
3

Do it now, but have a plan in place. It’s basically jury an annulment, with such a short duration.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 12:50 PM
12

Don’t do the motorcycle. The last thing you need is to lose a foot. FWB is a great idea. Just don’t get her knocked up.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 12:46 PM
1

I got 50/50 at a hearing to vacate a false PFA, and haven’t looked back. Three years of 50/50 - they don’t overturn that even if you have to blow into a breathalyzer to start your car.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 11:51 PM
5

Mine threw away the entire family library in explicit violation of the MSA. Other things, too, but mostly irreplaceable signed first printings. I was awarded an extra $10k for her contempt, but she was happy to pay it since she knew it was literally irreplaceable and priceless to me. She was that spiteful. Separately, it took me probably $30k to set up another home over the three years after the separation. PA here.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 03:54 AM
1

Is she even going to come back to the country to finalize things? Or just drag it out for as long as possible?
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 12:11 AM
1

Wow. In PA alimony doesn’t even enter the equation until after 20 years.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 11:50 PM
1

Also, just thank god you don’t have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 11:44 PM
1

For five years of marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 11:44 PM
1

You haven’t been married long. Alimony and such won’t be bad. At 50/50 and having so much of your life left, you’ll recover and be stronger than ever.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 10:52 PM
1

Not your problem anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 11:00 PM
2

Yes, you will need cash.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 08:24 PM
6

It will, but her medical issues being so well documented gives a good upper hand here.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 04:58 PM
25

wtf - why is she in your house at all?
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 06:50 PM
2

I misread your post, sorry, friend. They won’t give it to her, either.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 02:38 PM
7

It isn’t bad to have them, but you’re not going to get sole custody unless there’s a documented criminal charges on her end, and not even then.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 02:33 PM
9

The danger is they’ll see recording and videos as evidence you’re coaching the kid and/or trying to game the system.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 02:22 PM
5

Restraining order filed based on false information (lies)
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 04:28 AM
5

Watch out for the false PFA.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 02:49 AM
1

I kept all mine, mostly for the kids to see one day. She deleted everything she had, though it wasn’t much at all.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 04:59 PM
1

My six year old started referring to her mother by her first name when talking about the other house - I don’t know why. I didn’t correct her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 12:05 AM
2

Sell and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 02:47 AM
1

You’ll see.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 01:13 PM
1

Yellowknife
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 02:47 AM
1

Don’t drink. Get all the files. Good lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 05:30 PM
5

You have the upper hand. Make a plan and stick to it. Get a good lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 03:44 PM
3

How did you make that kind of money?
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 12:30 AM
1

You have been broken, yes, but you’ll be stronger than ever when you are done. Stay sober, hit the gym.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 03:24 PM
1

Unless you have been there, nothing can convey the absurdity of it all. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this. And that your kids had to see.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 09:35 PM
1

You need a new start.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 08:06 AM
2

Four days after the decree went through, mine married a convicted felon former crackhead with a high school education, twenty years older than us, who she’d known for less than a year at that point. I’m applying to medical schools this summer. You’re doing good.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 12:51 PM
1

It changes everything.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 09:55 PM
5

Wow.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 03:16 AM
2

It’s conflict from now on…it’s like having cancer. I’m sorry, friend.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 12:36 AM
1

Women file a false restraining order on grounds of alleged abuse, just to get you out of the house. All they have to say is that they are afraid, and you’re gone. It gives them significant advantage going through this. It happened to me, after I was told multiple times that she’d do it. I said she’d never. If I could do it again, I’d record as much as I could. What state are you living in?
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 11:07 AM
3

You will be more than okay. You will be stronger when all this settles down. You will be in survival mode for the next year and a half or so. In the meantime, go back to your house and don’t settle at all for less than 50/50 custody. Watch out for the false PFA move.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 01:48 AM
5

Dude’s right, here.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 05:12 PM
3

Dude’s spot on.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 05:04 PM
2

You don’t have kids. It’ll be okay.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 08:07 PM
5

If you have no kids, you can make a clean break. Start again, and find yourself - the new you you want to be.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 01:15 PM
4

Well, both. Hang around with strong men, and emulate them. Take mentorship seriously. It can be via work, or school, or through a hobby or club. My father didn’t teach me a lot of things, but he didn’t teach me anything at all about love or relationships. Success there doesn’t happen by accident.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 07:27 PM
12

You don’t have kids. It will be okay. Stay sober, don’t rush things with women. Learn what they really want and actually need. You’ll find actual love if you want that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 07:21 PM
1

chickenshit White Knighting
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 06:34 PM
1

http://www.wonder-tonic.com/goodwillhunting/
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 12:51 AM
2

The honesty is kind of a turn on, tbh.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 05:20 PM
2

Did you quit?
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 05:09 PM
1

Just get out before there are any kids. Can’t really help as an American, but count your blessings you can actually sever ties.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 05:45 AM
5

Sucking cock behind dumpers at work, apparently.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 04:50 AM
1

It’s not your fault.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 02:58 AM
1

She isn’t your problem.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 04:06 AM
12

Get paternity tests.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 12:56 PM
7

He has a type.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 01:08 AM
1

No.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 11:33 PM
1

Good on ya, m8!
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 11:22 PM
3

Get the fuck out and start rebuilding. You will find love.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 03:38 AM
1

I will pray for you. Be strong.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 07:24 AM
0

My ex got married within ten days of the degree going through, to a guy she’d known for maybe ten months. 50/50 custody since the separation started. He was the third douchebag she jumped on in the three months after separation. Did a background check when I saw his plates outside the house she threw me out of via false PFA - 20 years older, a convicted felon with a bankruptcy and a high school degree. That was when it hit me: she couldn’t do any better than that. There wasn’t a goddamn thing th…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 06:56 AM
2

I got remarried, but I only felt comfortable after coming to an arrangement memorialized via prenup that I was comfortable with. It’s been everything the first marriage would never be, and I don’t think that’s likely to change. Don’t give up hope, unless you’d rather.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 06:42 AM
2

Because she doesn’t love you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 02:30 PM
1

File soon. There aren’t kids involved. It will be a bad year or so, but you’ll be a stronger, better you when all is said and done.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 07:58 PM
1

Good luck. You’re gonna need it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 06:31 AM
2

Temporary order being established is how I won, too. Best advice I ever got.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 06:30 AM
2

This is the best and most accurate post I’ve seen here. Very similar to my own experience, in PA.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 05:55 PM
1

Rebuild, rebuild, rebuild.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 02:06 PM
1

Don’t give her an out. File on your own if you have to. You don’t want to be married to an idiot.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 04:00 AM
2

Keep working on yourself. There are bigger things at play for you right now than your kids. The kids will be grown before you know it, and it’s up to you to be stable and give them a place to go. The older they get, the more they’ll need you - not less.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 05:36 AM
1

As far as I know, it’s a communal property state. Not sure how abuse and such favors into alimony and such, but you’re in the trade position to make her pay for her decision. Don’t fuck it up.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 01:18 PM
3

It’s only going to get worse. I wouldn’t listen when people told me she’d do a false PFA, and within six weeks I was homeless. Just do not compromise on the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 01:17 PM
7

Watch out for the false PFA. Really.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 03:52 AM
4

Don’t sign anything she offers you. She will try to file a false PFA against you. Cameras are good. Do not settle for less than 50/50 custody. What state are you in?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 12:42 AM
4

This guy rules.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 04:05 AM
3

Usually it’s dudes trying to get me to talk about things. Maybe I’m just special?
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 10:21 PM
3

My ex has done similar things, precisely because her family wires her money whenever she asks for legal fees. I’ve seen a few post threads in this subreddit detailing this situation. It’s rare, and its own special flavor of hell. For example, this week was our oldest’s first week of kindergarten. She is refusing to let our daughter bring her backpack between the houses, purely out of spite, knowing I’m not going to spend $10k to argue in court about such a detail. I just feel bad for my daughter…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 09:58 PM
12

If the TRO was bogus, go into the court and say so. If you have her on tape being awful, use it. She is not your friend anymore, and you have to go in guns blazing. Don’t let her push you around.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 02:34 AM
1

You will find the right person for you, I promise. Gym, work, read, pray, repeat. Don’t drink. You deserve a woman who finds you sexy as you are, and who makes you want to be civilized - meaning kick ass in the world and make things better. It doesn’t seem like that’s possible now, but the only way out is through.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 10:21 PM
6

You don’t have kids. You can actually cut the ties. You will find love again. Be strong, and pray.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 01:08 PM
11

“Last week, one of my ex-wives died. And it was really sad. Because it was the wrong one.”
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 12:48 PM
5

I’ve thought about this a lot, too, and I had an interesting thought a whole back. A large part of it seems to be that we’re all living much longer. Even a century ago, people died at a rate that meant most folks could have two spouses - maybe even three. Consider the main character of Gone With the Wind. No antibiotics, no anesthesia, no monoclonal antibody treatments. Imagine the number of people who rejoiced after their spouse kicked the fucking bucket. Imagine the shame. How complex that sit…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 04:49 PM
1

Not in PA.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 07:51 PM
6

This.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/22 10:32 PM
2

Especially if you don’t have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 09:52 PM
5

Especially in PA.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 10:46 PM
3

She isn’t your problem anymore. Be good to your kids and all will be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 08:26 PM
2

When you go through it, just be honest and transparent. Trust that the professionals will see the real situation. Don’t talk about her, just focus on your kids. Talk about them, and what you want in the future and how you’ll get there.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 01:59 PM
2

Didn’t matter in my case.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 09:08 PM
3

For me, it’s been $75k so far, and with her untreated BPD, I’ve acknowledged that the next fifteen years will bleed me dry.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 02:37 AM
3

It was $1400 for three new car seats when all this started for me three years ago. You’re literally surviving a natural disaster. If she has started this behavior, it’s just going to continue. That seems to be the consensus on this subreddit.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 02:25 AM
1

Watch out for the false PFA. Do not leave the house, and record every interaction. Get a good lawyer. Now.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 09:06 PM
1

Yes, but also when they forget it’s able to be reviewed so easily and continue with the borderline personality disorder behavior patterns.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 01:00 PM
2

The lawyers having instant access to the communication records is a big timesaver.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 04:44 AM
3

This. Godspeed, friend.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 06:17 PM
1

Sounds like she wants you back.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 03:51 AM
2

r/bpdlovedones That subreddit has been really helpful. As someone else said, she’ll be someone else’s problem soon, if not already. Try not to think about all the money being torched, though.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 04:46 AM
8

A few months ago one of my ex-wives died, and it was very sad, because it was the wrong one.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:42 AM
3

Thank goodness no kids are involved. You’ll be okay, mate. Learn.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 08:31 PM
1

Yes, it’s getting worse and worse.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 02:34 PM
2

So far, yes. From what I can gather from the oldest, she refuses to let the kids talk about me or anything related to their time in my house. I have a lot of worry for their early teenage years. Per the new husband’s ex wife, he was physically violent with both of their sons and threw both out of the house as teenagers. No recent threats or suicide attempts.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 05:43 PM
2

She is threatening another contempt motion.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 05:39 PM
3

She was diagnosed in college after a suicide attempt, yes, but has not been in treatment since the first year of marriage back in 2011.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 04:27 PM
2

I really really really miss Patrice, and I bet Bill Burr does, too.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 04:03 AM
1

I see where you’re coming from. Guess it depends if it’s all transactional or a spiritual union at the altar?
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 09:44 PM
5

Marriage is impossible without forgiveness. This is the perfect test to see if it’s really real. Most marriages go through something like this. Those that were gilded at the outset are revealed as such. It all comes down to her genuine sorrow. Some people can’t bring themselves to take responsibility. Maybe she can? Some people can’t forgive. Maybe he can? Learn more about resource scarcity behavior. It might help explain some of the causes.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 08:45 PM
4

If the rest of your relationship is okay - parenting being the central component - this is something that can be worked on. That is, it can be worked on if she sees the massive wrong she’s done and is willing to change. You were betrayed. It will take work, but so does getting divorced. Can you forgive?
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 08:10 PM
2

I’d recommend learning a trade so you can earn cash.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 02:53 AM
0

Fuck you, dude - it was like $200 to each of my new five yesterday…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 05:16 PM
1

Yes, my dear friend. It will never go away, and that’s okay. Life happens. You will meet someone sweet and nice and happy. It’s odd for me right now, in that the only thing I really ever wanted was to not be hit. My partner now cries thinking about that, because even that isn’t what a real relationship looks like, and she wants me to actually be happy. There are so many things that are/were automatic inside of my brain, just because of the abuse, and the reprogramming process just takes time. Th…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/22 01:20 PM
1

Yes, yes, and yes. Being put through a frivolous primary custody suit to try to get me to consent to the kids going to a school district one county over, and she’s holding legal fees over my head as leverage. She certainly won’t win the primary custody case, because it’s been three years of 50/50 custody and all three kids are under the age of five. I don’t think she’ll be given the ability to choose schools, either. It’s disgusting.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 04:46 PM
1

I wish something similar was possible in PA. So far, I’ve been told there isn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 04:33 PM
1

What state?
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 02:09 PM
3

(o:
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 02:00 AM
2

Watch out for the false PFA.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/22 11:02 PM
2

No, really.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 07:38 PM
1

You’re lucky. It’s been three years for me, and it’s still not over.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 02:12 PM
8

$50k so far for me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 07:31 PM
4

Same thing happened to me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 07:31 PM
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