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SeminoleTom Archive

View 9 posts and 87 comments by SeminoleTom on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I think you missed my point about material things. there are two options 1- He stays with his wife, goes to counseling with her...if it doesn't work out and he stays it won't be good for his mental health. He would be able to keep the material things but it will be awful living there. We all know this. 2- . He gets divorced. It sucks but at this point he may need to do whats best for his mental state. You're going to lose things, divorce sucks, as I said. It doesn't matter if you worked 15 years…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 01:16 AM
1

Love this story. Feel good for you brother, talk about feeling at the bottom and then her text! Awesome!
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 01:38 PM
0

22 years of marriage ended because of Covid and all the conspiracy theories she believed. She became a prepper. It happens, people change. Marriage, at least to me, more than a contract. Divorce stinks, I went from an upper middle home now in a small condo. It’s ok though. It’s all material things. Just press forward but I’d say do everything you can to save the marriage. Either way you will be ok but you need to do what’s best for your mental health. Take care.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 12:42 PM
0

Christian here as well. I fully get your reasons for never wanting to get married again. Are you also saying you’re done with relationships as well? I know sex outside marriage is not supported in the Bible though. Just curious your thoughts. Feel free to PM me…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 10:51 PM
3

Make sure she pays it all - or at least a significant down payment on estimate before work starts…lol
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 12:11 PM
2

So glad to see this and am extremely happy for you. I'm also on the health kick and hope to stay there. I shop at Sprouts and Whole Foods as well.... there is so much food crap out there nowadays.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 04:34 PM
3

My mistake was arguing with her over the conspiracy theories she bought into during the pandemic. It scared me and was a flip to how we lived our lives. Anyone ever hear of QAnon? She believed it all. Did I not handle it correctly - absolutely. If I knew then what I know now in terms of how to deal with a conspiracy theorist. It’s too late though… I was messed up/ scared because of what she believed.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 12:46 PM
1

A lot of this is spot on
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 07:09 PM
4

My STBXW became a QAnon follower/ believer during pandemic. Heartbreaking
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 03:57 AM
1

We are both Christians. During the pandemic she went to the side of far right politics, believing a ton of very odd conspiracy theories- yea she was basically a QAnon follower. She will not admit it but it fits. So sad and fortunate…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 11:32 AM
0

I’m a Christian and realize we (people) make mistakes. Don’t blame God for this. How could he let it happen? We have free will to do what we want. My marriage was great for 19 years. Covid came and changed us. Did I handle her conspiracy beliefs well? No, not at all. Not in a way that God would approve per the New Testament. I argued with her and never should have. She should have never started believing the crazy things she did. It’s both our fault, not God. I’m asking for a change in my life a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 12:41 PM
1

Yep been there. Just make sure you prepare your mindset that divorce may be what plays out. It’s heartbreaking, but for (some) women they cannot get past the past. It’s things we (men) don’t understand. But I’ve seen it firsthand, likely like your wife. I made mistakes but I often tell myself we would still be happily married if she didn’t start believing the conspiracies. So, as usual, a divorce is both people at fault.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 12:52 AM
3

Was is limbo for a year- we are divorcing. Are you all still sleeping in the same bedroom? So you do nothing together it sounds very similar to me. You want the marriage to continue? Do all you can to avoid divorce but if limbo leaves you paralyzed, lost & stressed, be prepared to move forward without her. You can’t live like this. But do all you can to save the marriage….I’m sorry man. Hang in there, keep us posted. My STBXW started believing several of the conspiracies related to Covid since M…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 12:06 AM
1

Are they equally friends with your STBXW as well? Do they have a wife that is friends with her? This by no means should explain them not reaching out but was just curious. I’ve noticed guy friends that I have who fell into one of the two mentioned categories have absolutely backed off with me. I get it, it’s uncomfortable but I am a little surprised if none had friendships with her and all of a sudden they stopped talking to you. Do you think maybe they are just busy with their families? Maybe y…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 11:42 PM
5

I’m Christian and so is my STBXW. Going through divorce now, we met at singles Bible study 24 years ago, married for 22 years. 19 of those were good. Covid hit and she became too involved with believing conspiracy theories which is tied in with far right politics. We just became so different, couldn’t even talk about anything. On a scale of 0 to 10 where 0 is politically far left and 10 is politically far right I’ve always been around a 6. She used to be like that but when Covid hit she became a…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 11:36 PM
2

See below.... I'll paste the reply here as well. Yea it seems there is a part I left out in the original post. It's still undecided how much she needs based on the documentation; she didn't turn in that info in discovery. She came up with 2250, I know she lives expensively as she eats food that is for her diet (organic, gluten free). She works as a part time salesperson at a retail store. She has a college degree and just earned a holistic health certification in June. She wants to be a nutritio…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 06:46 PM
0

Yea it seems there is a part I left out in the original post. It's still undecided how much she needs based on the documentation; she didn't turn in that info in discovery. She came up with 2250, I know she lives expensively as she eats food that is for her diet (organic, gluten free). She works as a part time salesperson at a retail store. She has a college degree and just earned a holistic health certification in June. She wants to be a nutritionist/ food counselor. Just taking her forever to …
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 06:45 PM
6

Move on, find a nice girl to date. Don’t marry again…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 01:25 AM
1

No I think I wasn’t clear, I’ll be buying the townhome with a mortgage but it’s a much smaller house than the place we currently live in. The current house is where “money is being pumped in” with the upkeep and repairs.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 09:38 PM
2

Excellent well thought out post
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 03:18 PM
2

The conspiracy theories ended my marriage. We are going through divorce now, all because of COVID and the things she believes. It's unreal. She lived in a different universe than I do because of it. So upsetting....
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 09:13 PM
2

I like this, plan for new life. It doesn’t have to be anything drastic. Small steps. Just don’t dwell on the past (and past mistakes).
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 07:14 PM
1

Are you going through the divorce process now?
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 03:14 PM
2

We are going through it now. It does suck. My youngest daughter (16) is taking it the worst. My son (20) and middle daughter (18) are good/ok. Hang in there brother. I hope it gets better, and I think it will. Has it for you?
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 01:56 PM
1

Are you all separating/ divorcing? I wish I could redo the last 3 years with what I know now (how to handle it). But it’s too late. I’m a Christian that just wants God to help me be the best man I can be. Anyway, didn’t mean to get all personal here but just stating where I’m at…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 12:52 PM
2

Very similar to me. I said words I regret. My STBXW believes a lot of the conspiracy theories related to Covid. It changed our marriage. I didn’t handle it well. I just wanted my wife back. Now we are just roommates going through the divorce process. It’s a lesson for me I didn’t handle her new beliefs well. We are very different now divorcing.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 12:49 PM
3

Yep- great question. COVID ended my marriage. 18 years of a fairly happy marriage, then it hit in 2020. My STBXW got involved with believing a lot of the conspiracy theories, we basically became people living in different universes. I will admit I did not handle the nonsense that she believed well. I argued, called her crazy/demented. I just wanted my wife back. But yes I made some mistakes (arguing). Hindsight 20/20 I’ve done ample amount of reading regarding people who believed these types of …
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 12:38 PM
2

Great post, love to hear the good news
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 01:53 PM
0

It’s a conservative state, is this a correct assumption: it will be more friendly than blue states towards men?
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 01:42 PM
1

I haven't seen it yet. I had two requests yesterday but neither was you... lol.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 12:23 PM
1

We are doing mediation as well. Supposed to be end of September. STBXW gave me the papers in early June. Just hard to move forward until this is done. How did alimony play out for you- what did you all agree to? And child support? We have one that is under 18. STBXW wants to do nothing with me either…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 12:19 AM
5

Great post. Thank you. Need the positivity. Married for 22 years now going through a divorce. It’s so slow going, I wish I could just fast forward.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 09:28 PM
2

Love cats. Don’t stay away too long they get lonely.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 02:03 AM
-2

Sending private message
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 04:28 PM
21

I’m the same way. Society looks at men as someone than can just turn it on/off like a water hose and that may be true for a majority but isn’t for everyone. Sex and intimacy are tied to love for me as well. I’m sorry you are going through this.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 02:59 PM
1

I like this. I’m 49, married for 22 years, going through divorce now.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:20 PM
2

Great to hear!
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 07:49 PM
9

Glad to hear you are in a good place. I'm nervous about the divorce- going very slowly as we try to get the house up for sale. She told me yesterday that "I ruined her life". I get that people will say this but it cut deep. There was no extra martial affairs, we've just grown apart, argued a good bit, both of us are at fault. Its unreal how she can blame just me. Does this happen a lot? Are you in debt? Where did you move to (during separation or after)? an apartment or home?
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 03:27 PM
2

Hey- just sent you a PM.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 03:15 PM
2

This is great news- I’m happy for you. If you don’t mind me asking how old are you and just to be clear did you meet your new gf on Reddit? Are you still a Christian? I am a believer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 01:57 PM
1

22 years of marriage , going through the divorce. It’s hard. She changed a lot, I’ve changed some we are just different now. Like you I’ve tried to do anything I could to save it. Written notes, being nice., etc. She isn’t biting. It’s over. I’m just focusing on moving forward now and trying to be the best person I can be. I pray, go to church, play soccer, read, play piano, visit my siblings, etc. all things I enjoy. We have to move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 01:33 PM
1

My heart sank reading this. I’m so sorry. I like what others said- there are more than two options here. Talk to your wife- if she doesn’t want to do counseling then it might be time to end it. Look, living as a married couple is great if both spouses live that way. If one wants it and the other doesn’t it won’t work and is not a healthy environment for you or your child. Do you have family (siblings, cousins) that you can lean on if you divorce? Are your parents alive? How about friends? I’m go…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 02:27 AM
2

Love hearing the success! Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 07:29 PM
3

I don’t know if was disrespectful, but I never felt appreciated. It seems like I was the guy that brought the money and needed to keep his mouth shut. Her mother is part of the problem…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 10:53 PM
3

Awful- so sorry. My STBXW and her mother spill a lot of revisionist history, I have a large collection of cards I kept from her the past 20 + years and do remind her of it.....
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 05:26 PM
1

Coffeefrog Send me a PM if you don’t mind. I’m older than you but some of your situation and thought process is similar to mine. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 12:59 PM
2

Love to hear this. I want to go on a trip by myself to England or Italy (my family heritage). I'm excited for this.... hope to happen next summer or year after.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 07:49 PM
2

Don’t do it, please keep posting. Please. You are our brother and we can help you through this. I’m a praying man and will pray for you right now. If you aren’t I will send you positive vibes. Suicide is the cheap easy way out. Your kid needs you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 12:42 AM
2

I’m sorry man. Keep posting here. It’s heartbreaking, my story is similar to yours. Hang in there. I’m a praying person and just said a prayer your way. If you aren’t I’m sending some positive energy. Take care of yourself…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 02:56 PM
2

Incredible reading and like all your points. Keep posting and giving hope to us all. It’s hard. I’m just getting started in this process….
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 09:17 PM
2

What state are you in?
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 12:58 PM
3

Similar situation here. Married over 20 years although we have just one left under 18. My stbxw didn’t work much and has a part time job now. She is studying to be a health counselor, should be complete by the end of the year. Who knows though. She’s going to have to get a full time job. She has a college degree. The potential for her to make money is there. That said I’m concerned how much the alimony will be. My attorney said it could be 3-7 years but to early to tell on the amount. I know eve…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 12:07 PM
2

This is a tough one. I’ve given everything I could. Neither one of us could do this any longer. We are just too different. It’s awful but sometimes you realize that there is no way this will ever be repaired. At this point I think it’s best we both move on. She filed; I think it’s time.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 12:38 AM
1

Just sent you a chat message. Thanks for the offer. I'm in Georgia by the way. I did go to FSU though.... I'm glad you are happy, we need those success stories here.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 02:23 PM
1

Wow very similar to my situation. I’ve kept a lot of cards from her over the years… just strange. No reconciliation here either… you holding up ok? Our process is just starting. PM me if you want…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 11:57 AM
5

Been married for almost 22 years. Getting divorced. Never thought this would happen after 18 years of pretty solid marriage. It became bad for us the last three years- Covid related. Crazy…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 10:34 PM
2

Great to read this I’m looking forward to peace as well.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 11:58 AM
1

Sounds good. Glad you are well
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 01:51 AM
1

At that age they probably do like it. Enjoy…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 01:49 AM
1

I’m in north Cumming now, am going through divorce as we speak. I’d like to be able to live in Roswell, Alpharetta or south Cumming in a 2 bedroom condo afterwards. I hope and pray it works out….
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 01:48 AM
2

This is kind of my fear- who can afford a house. Do you live alone?
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 05:48 PM
7

This sounds like some good news for you MartyMcFly7. I'm happy that you have moved forward. We need some feel good stories on the sub. I'm just getting started in the process, I'm scared to death.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 06:59 PM
3

It’s not easy right now. I’m a spiritual person so I just hope/pray (all the while trying to make good decisions) it will work out. We are just in the beginning phases. I hope we can keep the peaceful… For you- was you wife always like this (anger issues)? By the way, did the in-laws and your family try to help save the marriage? Sounds like you all were all so close? Better yet how are your parents taking it- do they think it’s better to move on?
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 01:32 PM
16

Hang in there friend. Sounds like you need to let her go and move on. I know its not easy. I've been married 21 years now and getting divorced. If she has an anger problem its best you part ways. Now that the divorce is final how are you all doing the living situation? Are you selling the house? Both moving out?
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 12:56 PM
2

I agree with this. But just getting started on a divorce on my first marriage has caused me to rethink about ever wanting to date or much less get married again. I’m jaded. It’s painful. My STBX is generally a nice person we are negotiating without lawyers (we both have one but not trying to use). Getting divorced after 20+ years of marriage will change me for probably the rest of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 12:59 PM
7

Usual advice from an attorney is don’t move out. It shows you abandoned the marriage (right or wrong- it’s the perception). I’m stuck in my house until we figure out what to do. Let me ask you- if you move out you will then have two mortgages, correct? That’s another reason to stay put. Are you starting the divorce process legally?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 12:23 PM
1

This is good to hear. I’m happy for you. I agree that it is time to move on….
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 06:13 PM
1

When you say "leaning into divorce saved my marriage" can you elaborate a little more on this if you don't mind? I tried the whole being nice, loving my wife mindset-- it hasn't worked. Plan to start the divorce process soon (if she hasn't filed by June then I will).
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 12:44 AM
2

Thanks for the thoughts. Tricky_Ice below was spot on in regards why I would need to start making the credit card payments (I may have confused you in my original post. Yea I'm really just looking guidance and thoughts from him. We haven't talked since last fall. I'm probably going to give her to mid- June. If nothing I will file. I will tell her soon.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 09:02 PM
5

I’m a praying person and just said a prayer for you. Don’t do anything rash. Post in this subreddit, we are here for you. (Positive vibes sent if you don’t pray).
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 12:16 PM
1

A lot of this is spot on. Great post
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 02:55 PM
1

I have to get into the cooking mindset. I’m still married but…. It’s likely coming to an end soon. My wife does the cooking and I’d like to stay healthy (organic, fruit, veges, fish, chicken). This will be the biggest change for me….learning or getting better at cooking.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 12:22 PM
3

I'm so sorry friend. My situation is very similar to yours (no suspicion of cheating though-neither of us are). 21 years of marriage that is coming to an end. 3 kids (one under 18), We are still nice to each other- sleep in different rooms and the wife's ring has come off. I've tried to play mister nice guy as well. It has more to do with my spiritual beliefs than anything but it's what I've done. I'm praying for a "peaceful" and fair divorce. My prayers are with you (sending positive vibes as w…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 12:12 PM
7

I don’t know much either but looking forward to reading the comments from others (learning). How many years have you been married? My lawyer does not recommend a separation. He said it’s basically the same as the divorce, and you are responsible for each of the bills, so why not just pull the trigger?
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 08:40 PM
6

As a Christian the majority of churches and congregations will not look down on you. In a rare instances there could be some but it would be far and few. Pray my friend, seek the lord and get your mental (mind) and physical (body workout) health in a good spot. Take care….
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 01:44 AM
0

You have to have a lawyer whether mediation or not. Correct me if I’m wrong all.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 09:56 PM
5

Stop, don’t get too down. You are a man, divorce and being cheated on would sap anyone’s drive.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:42 PM
1

Excellent advice, thanks for all of this.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 12:23 AM
5

Good to hear!
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 04:35 PM
2

Richard We are in a very similar spot. Been married 21 years, wife who has been a homemaker works part time now retail. She obviously doesn’t make much. We are 20k in CC debt already. I’m not in a well off job— middle type: software engineering manager. I don’t know if we can even afford to get a divorce. Feel free to IM me if you need. I can’t believe my marriage has come to this. It’s heartbreaking but I don’t know if I can continue like this any longer. My emotional health has gone downhill.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 02:04 PM
1

How about if my wife is working on a nutrition degree- which she would earn by December. This will give her the opportunity to work full time (she doesn't now, only part time at a shoe store)... does it help me if we wait to then for a divorce - at least she will have a fultime job that is not retail.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 05:00 PM
3

Awesome post and love to hear
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 04:55 PM
2

Happy to hear the positive side from someone
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 10:34 PM
3

Circa- I'm in the same boat except my kids are older (19, 18, 15) and we have been married for 21 years. Our relationship has degraded to the point of we are just roommates now. We still sleep in the same bed and try to be nice to each other but I had to create a life outside our messed up marriage of arguing. I have some friends I hang out with, go to church on my own, play soccer and softball. Like you I basically have become ignored (over the years). It's weird not only from my wife but also …
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 01:34 PM
2

Man 32 years! I'm in a similar boat 21 years and can't pull the trigger. I'm 49. Every day is tough- my wife and I are cordial to each other but it's not the same. We still sleep in the same bed but really don't do much together; I guess we are roommates. Too much change over the years. I still have kid under the age of 18 (she's 15). Does your wife want a divorce? I'm sorry I don't know your situation....
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/23 10:43 PM
5

Man I’m almost in the same boat, except my wife doesn’t have the mental challenges (unless conspiracy theories fall into that boat). I don’t want a divorce but we are just not in a good spot. It’s been like this going on three years now. Neither option is good. With both of us (you/ I) we keep putting it off. It won’t get better though. I would file if I was a you. I know this is awful and miserable. God bles man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 09:20 PM
1

Thanks for all this info- I apprecaite it. Her parents will be helping her out with everything: living, food, housing, gas, etc. My wife isn't working and is expensive (doesn't live cheaply). So her parents will ensure she is ok. I say she's expensive because she is-- all of her vitamins, food she eats (gluten free/organic), it all adds up. Her parents are well off. My 15 year old is so connected to my wife as is. She would blame me for the divorce. My wife's degree is in holistic nutrition. She…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 11:42 PM
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