For those that are divorced

No_Key_6276 · 2023-05-25T16:30:09+00:00

Moved from a 3/2 to living in my parents spare room 🤣

ragingredditir · 2023-05-25T18:14:06+00:00

I saw it as a starting over point. I have no kids and now no reason to stay in this town.

I bought a 5th wheel RV and have been living in that to avoid planting roots anywhere.

If I never get married again and never have kids I’ll continue to live in an RV. I’ve honestly really enjoyed it

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2023-05-25T16:57:46+00:00

Moved from a 4 bed/1800 sqft house to a 3 bed/1450 sqft house with a bigger back yard, more privacy and bigger garage. The old home was newer and technically nicer but I'm ok with the smaller home space and an older home. It's well apppointed, quick to clean and 0.5 miles from the kids and I have a wood fire pit and 3 sides of trees for privacy. Score!

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2023-05-25T16:44:29+00:00

I bought her out of the marital home. I had to use some of my 401k to do that. But she was already getting half of my 401k so an extra $$,$$$ was palatable to me. Also when we (I) bought this house I made sure that it was at the price I could retain it on one income.

One of my main goals was to keep things consistent for my kids as I knew she would end up moving around every year or two. Which is what she did. In the 4 1/2 years that we have been divorced she has moved four times. She has also gone through four different cars in the same amount of time. 🤷🏽‍♂️

Thankfully, for the kids sake, she has only gone through two boyfriends in those four years. I’m pretty sure she has convinced this 2nd one to stick around and marry her.

BrickEquivalent6273 · 2023-05-25T17:54:00+00:00

I bought the house we wanted to buy together. I rent out the basement to a nice couple and they pay most of my mortgage. Ex is still renting and had to get a roommate. I would feel bad but she’s a liar and a cheater.

Ncfc48 · 2023-05-25T16:55:10+00:00

Ex wife and son stayed in family home she brought me out with the help of her dad and mum and step dad, hardest thing ever giving up my family home but wanted my son to stay near his schools, I'm in the UK by the way

Retying3043 · 2023-05-25T17:14:13+00:00

I’m in a 3 bed 2 bath apartment. Thought I would be able to buy a house. Doesn’t look like that will be possible. I don’t know how anyone can afford a house after divorce.

Smoke-Porterhouse · 2023-05-25T18:00:18+00:00

From a 4/2 uninsulated "charmingly old" money pit that probably contributed at least partially to the demise of the marriage to a quiet, insulated 3/2 brick home in a family neighborhood in a great location that I really love.

cousinmarygross · 2023-05-25T18:17:41+00:00

I owned the house free and clear with no mortgage and had a home based business. She locked me out while I was away and since she was fucking a cop at the time she threatened to have me arrested if I tried to gain entry. So, I lost the house and my means of employment all in one fell stroke.

Moved in with my parents for a few months until I found employment. Then a one bedroom apartment, later rented a 3/2 house and now own a 3/2 house that's worth 4 times as much as the house she got in the divorce.

I remarried and weigh the same as I have for years, 6'4" 200# and shes still single and gained 50#. She works at a gym making $12/hour. My rate is $250/hour.

Ncfc48 · 2023-05-25T16:53:12+00:00

Parents first now a 2 bedroom with a garage and decent garden peace and quiet!

Weary_Landscape_7098 · 2023-05-25T20:25:22+00:00

I went from a nice large house (4,000+ sqft) to a small 2BR apartment in an apartment complex. While I would rather be in a house, with the current state of the housing market, that isn't in the cards for a long time.

Disadvantages:

RENT. It only ever goes up. My apartment now costs almost as much as my old house's mortgage (we bought it before house prices went nuts a few years ago, and my ex refinanced it when rates were low).
No garage.
Not much storage space.
A yard would be nice.
Neighbors. I am lucky, mine are pretty good and I don't hear them that often.

Advantages:

Smaller means less money I spend on utilities. I don't feel guilty running the AC to get it cold as a freezer overnight because it isn't that expensive. My ex spends ungodly amounts of money during the summer on her electric bill, and I don't.
Much less maintenance. I no longer have a yard, a pool, or multiple older HVAC systems to worry about. If something breaks, I put in a maintenance request with my apartment complex and they take care of it.
I can "decorate" (if you could call it that) however I want without anyone complaining about it. I'm a minimalist and couldn't care less about decorating, but my ex-wife goes all out with seasonal and holiday decorations. I hated dealing with that shit when we were married. I find that stuff to be a useless waste of money, and then a waste of space when you have to put it back in storage.
My apartment usually stays clean. And since it's smaller, it's quicker to clean, too.
Best of all, my bitch of an ex-wife doesn't live here. I no longer live with someone who nags me incessantly or insults me 24/7. It is quiet and peaceful. It can be lonely at times, but I'd rather be lonely than live with someone who thinks it's their job to be emotionally, psychologically, and verbally abusive every moment of the day.

That first day you move into an apartment by yourself during a divorce can be rough. When we separated I didn't immediately bring much with me. My apartment was empty other than my bed, a small dresser, and a coffee table. I actually ate dinner sitting on the floor a few of those first few nights.

aparker79 · 2023-05-25T18:07:22+00:00

Went from a 3/2 to a 2 bedroom apartment. I’ve done well “in playing the game.” She’s not getting my retirement, pension, or alimony. She’s gonna get 1k in child support and keep 95 percent of the stuff from the house. I keep 3/4 vehicles.

ImprovementBrave3015 · 2023-05-25T18:14:26+00:00

I went from a 4bed 3.5 bath 2600sq ft house to a 560 sq ft studio on the opposite side of the country. I can’t say that I’m better off. Mentally I’m fucked up. And this shitty apartment has become a prison cell, that I only leave for the slave labor to keep the ex and kids supplied with money and a good life while the bitch works a bull shit pointless job that is way below her means.

Mesothelioma1021 · 2023-05-25T17:25:37+00:00

Moved from a 2 bedroom/2 bathroom 1100 sq foot apartment in downtown Miami back to my parents place in PA.

ranger69danger · 2023-05-25T17:28:38+00:00

Went from 3B3B 2000sqft home on a gorgeous Ponderosa strewn mountaintop (too high in altitude for me LoL) to motel-truck to rented room to renting a 5b3b smarthouse with wifi controlled irrigated gardens.

My roommates are my new baby and my GF.

Looking to buy something when the market cools.

My life today is 10000000000x better than it was a year ago.

So glad my feeble male mind subconsciously auto-amputated that shit partner and pushed the divorce thru.

Lean on family and friends, seek out new friends in this process OP. I’d have not come out so well if I had not lived with my folks for a bit in transition.

metalmaniak68 · 2023-05-25T17:37:26+00:00

I owned my own home before we got married that was used as a rental which was conveniently vacant when I was kicked out, almost like she was waiting for the right time 🧐😂. But went from a 4 bedroom back to 2 bedroom house.

AirSailer · 2023-05-25T17:48:57+00:00

1800sq ft 3br/2b to a 900 sq ft 2br/2b apartment. I don't have a lawn to mow, zero maintenance costs or time/effort, MUCH less crap and clutter, no animal hair, clean bathrooms, dishes are always done. I can't imagine ever going back to living with a woman, it was simply terrible, because our house became her house.

Ambitious-Cheetah-36 · 2023-05-25T18:26:43+00:00

I kept the marital home, I have a set amount of time to buy her out or sell and split the proceeds. My plan is to rent part of it and pay her off.

DatabaseSpace · 2023-05-25T18:30:49+00:00

I had a $389,000 house. It was 3 bedrooms, 2 baths and had full basement. It had a driveway and 2 car garage. it was about 5-7 minutes away from both of our jobs. We only lived there for one year though. She filed for divorce right before the beginning of the pandemic so it was before values really went up. I think houses in that neigborhood are going to like $550-$600 last time I looked. I don't dwell on that though.

Now I am living in a one bedroom apartment that is $1350 a month. I really don't want to pay $1800 or $2000 for an apartment. I don't have kids so I don't need the extra space. It's a private landlord thing, not one of these new buildings.

I did really like my house and wish I still had it, but my ex wife and that house were digging me into a financial hole I wasn't going to be able to get out of. I ended up with like 50-60k of credit card debt and told her we need to pay it off. Instead she filed for divorce.

I ended up taking out 401k Covid hardship withdrawl during the divorce and paid off all of the credit card debt. I owe a like $2,000 on my car so it's almost paid off. I have no credit card debt now. I just finished paying the taxes on my 401k withdrawl. I just finished my last alimony payment, which lasted 3 years.

The guy she started dating does not work and probably never will because he claims fake disability. It's funny how once I sold the house all of the friends that used to come over and hang out pretty much stopped talking to me.

The place I live now is in a better town. I can walk to a frozen yogurt place, chick filea, dunkin donuts, rite aid. My new gym is 3 minutes away. I almost moved to a worse town to save money and I'm glad I didn't. Overall my financial situation is 100 times better although it was really bad during the divorce process.

storm838 · 2023-05-25T18:52:05+00:00

Kept my house, lost the trash, 50/50 legal and physical custody of my infant son.

dadplup · 2023-05-25T19:40:42+00:00

I went the opposite direction, we didn't have a home but after discovering her first affair and the fallout I came to the realization that she was going to try to take everything she could possibly take and to quote her words " make me pay thru the nose" she was planning on moving in her bf in to our place and kick me out, but he didn't want to be daddy he just wanted to get sex, the kids were young so I tried to work it out for their sake , she thought that she had me under her thumb, but I discovered her plans and the amount of smack she talked about me which indicated that she was bidding her time before leaving.

I tried to convince her not to be that way and that if she wanted to leave she was free to leave, I was not going to force her, but she wouldn't leave and I wouldn't abandon the kids to her. The following years she kept insisting that we get a house, new car, even another baby I responded by saying if that's what she wanted she needed to get a job and help with the finances but she wouldn't stick to any job,.

When we finally divorced after her second affair the only thing she could've taken was my 401k, and her belongings , half the furniture etc,. No car , no home, to split and I got lucky as i ended up getting custody of our daughter, she was put on child support, I didn't have to pay alimony, and because she didn't show up to the prove up hearing I was awarded the belongings and got to keep my 401k too

I moved in to a two bedroom where my daughter stays with me please don't misunderstand I'm not bragging, I got as good a result as possible but I'm still responsible for her debts that she got while we got married, she's not paying any child support, and won't really talk to our daughter either, I live in fear that she will try to come back but I'm betting on her being so angry at me that she won't, sadly we discovered that she's living in a homeless shelter in her hometown, no job, her parents kicked her and my stepson out I feel bad for them but I will not take her back as that will likely kill me, it nearly did when we were together im not wanting to go thru that again

Shovelhead8477 · 2023-05-25T20:03:04+00:00

5 bed / 4 bath house to a 26 foot travel trailer

RideATX · 2023-05-25T20:18:39+00:00

Moved from a brand new build million dollar 3500sf home to a 3/2 1500sf rental a mile away. Been there 3 years, it's not as nice as the old house, but it has AC, 1GB fiber internet and a big yard. Life is good.

stent00 · 2023-05-25T18:02:04+00:00

Went from a 4 bedroom 2 bath house in a desirable area to a small 2 bedroom 🪳 cockroach and ant infested low end apartment

black65Cutlass · 2023-05-25T18:15:34+00:00

I bought her out of the house. Still living alone in the 3br, 2.5 bath house. She and her kids left. Don't want to live here forever but with the shitty housing market there is not much available so I will stay for a while until the real estate market stabilizes a little. Plus, I didn't want to get a new loan at the insane interest rates. I was lucky to refinance the house right before the interest rates went crazy so still have a low rate.

JSNTFS · 2023-05-25T18:18:36+00:00

We sold our house, I moved into a 1 BR apartment on the other side of the country.

I'm super-happy with my arrangement. A house is overkill for one person and after years of living in one place I'm happy not to be tied down. No maintenance is also great, my ex-wife couldn't fix anything so of course every single home repair fell on me. Definitely no roommate, I have a good fully remote job. Rent is a bit more than I'd prefer since I chose to move to a town that's had a huge recent influx of people but oh well, I get to live in my favorite place in the country.

No kids are involved which makes this all much easier.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2023-05-25T18:39:08+00:00

Moved from 3500sf 3 story 3/2.5 to 1100sf 2/2 apartment with 1 child. Loved it.

GrouseyPortage · 2023-05-25T18:48:39+00:00

Moved from a 5 bed, 5 bath. No kids. Lived in a 2 bed, 2 bath condo in the city renting for 6 months until I bought again. Aka, banged a bunch of mid to late 20 somethings until I found one I liked. Recently bought a place last month, 4 bed, 2 bath with 3/4 acre backyard. Upgraded my backyard for a slightly higher mortgage due to interest rates. Can always refinance and got a steal on this house off market. Came out pretty good!

Orwellisnow · 2023-05-25T19:14:17+00:00

Moved from a 4/2.5 2350 sqft house to a 2/1 1000 sq apartment.

MartyMcFly7 · 2023-05-25T19:37:04+00:00

I bought her out of the marital home (3/2). We fought over who would get the house, but she ultimately couldn't afford it. I have to admit, the day she packed up all her shit and left was pretty glorious.

Things are pretty tight, but I've managed to stay living within my means without a roommate. My new GF will be moving in soon, so that should make things easier. At least this time, if things don't work out, there won't be any argument over who gets the house.

jasoncb123 · 2023-05-25T20:03:41+00:00

4 bedroom 3.5 bath 4K square feet house completely remodeled main level, everything upgraded in all bathrooms, new carpet anew tile with professional custom cabinets, in all bathrooms and kitchen and dining room. All new windows and patio door going to new concrete patio to replace old 2 tier deck that was rotting replaced last summer. 3 car garage finished and updated basement since Covid.

Today 2 bedroom apartment 1 bathroom. Approximately 800 square feet, no garage.

My daughters like it. 16/14 yrs old. I have 20/80 custody because my ex convinced them to have it that way so she could get the max in child support.

They share the room when they are here.

Sucks. But not much I have any actual control over.

I am happier than I was a year ago. Sometimes less is more if that makes sense.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2023-05-25T20:35:03+00:00

It was a short marriage but I still live in my 4 bedroom house with me and my dog. Next woman that moves in my house I’m drawing up a contract

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-05-25T21:15:55+00:00

I went from a 3 bed terrace house to a 4 bedroom detached house in a much nicer area. This was via a 6month rental of a small apartment. I had enough reserve cash to buy a house, basically from an inheritance she couldn’t touch. That saved me. My standard of living is 100x what it was and I finally have peace and tranquility in my home, which is worth far more to me than anything else.

animalx3 · 2023-05-25T21:28:03+00:00

I bought out her equity and have same home. I am considering renting an on prem appt though to take advantage of tax implications as much as drive some additional revenue into my pocket

zugabuga · 2023-05-25T22:05:05+00:00

We had a very nice house, always had nice things, very neat and clean house. I divorced her and moved out two years ago, still living with my brother, and I sleep on his garage floor. It’s not as bad as it sounds, I turned the garage into a living space with carpet, but it’s still a garage. So my situation is definitely not as nice as it once was, but this is just temporary.

Wolfjak · 2023-05-25T23:22:00+00:00

Lived with her parents upstairs, ex and I and 2 kids shared a 3 bedroom basement suite on an acreage. Title was split 4 ways. They bought me out and I bought a 3 bedroom rancher with a detached suite, big yard but not an acreage. I’m the only one on title and I’m very happy being away from her and her parents.

seeday1 · 2023-05-26T00:20:33+00:00

Built a brand new 3bed 2 bath on 1/2 acre. Now live in a Tiny house on 10 acres in the woods. I LOVE IT !!!

SeminoleTom · 2023-05-26T01:24:14+00:00

4br, 2.5 bath, huge yard, big garage. Now I’m living in a 1br apartment and my kids sleep on the couch when they spend the night. It’s been a year and half since the divorce and in about a year from now I’ll be able to get into a 3br house or apartment again.

It sucks seeing the kids sleep on the couch, but they don’t mind and supposedly like doing it (7 and 11 year olds)

Reflog1791 · 2023-05-26T01:32:34+00:00

Moved out of starter home to apartment for 18 months. Divorce finalized then I took every cent of my refi payout and put it toward the most badass house ever. I learned that the dwelling in which I live doesn’t make the man. But I do smile and thank God for my ex wife’s affair.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-05-26T02:33:13+00:00

Generally, the minimum place you should get is one that can accommodate the kids reasonably well for custody and co-parenting purposes. It's not the be all or end all but it helps.

Spodee5 · 2023-05-27T07:14:58+00:00

Not a short answer...it's been 5+ years. Final orders of the divorce forced the sale of our family home and literally named how many miles away from an elementary 25 miles away from our home I could live. That neighborhood is 4 times as expensive than where our house was.

Family house was a split/entry/tri level 3 bedroom 2300 sq ft 2+ car garage on a 1/3 of an acre lot...nothing super fancy, decent neighborhood walking distance from a park. Kids could bike all over neighborhood and walk to school.

Initially had to move to a 2 bedroom 3rd story 830 sq ft apartment. I had to move into Seattle and apartment hunting goes like this. Apply to apartment for $35 dollars. Go view tenant occupied apartment with as many as 20 other people; get turned down because someone else applied before you, or makes more money. And to make it worse I could barely afford anything in this neighborhood. My boys' room was so tiny and cramped it was awful. I felt destroyed. I lost most of my stuff with the house so so much of my identity was gone. That tiny apartment was home for 18 months. I had a neighbor that was an elderly woman that was a war refugee, my downstairs neighbor was Jewish and ran a Kosher catering business out of their tiny apartment with their one child living with them. My apartment always smelled like Kosher food. Went from driving a full size V8 Chevy truck to riding an electric scooter to the light rail and riding scooter from light rail to work.

Then I met a gf, and she is amazing and she is onboard with my situation. We rented a 2100 sqft house together. 3 beds 2 baths no yard on a really steep hill 1+ car garage big driveway.

We are in the process of moving to a 2500 sq ft house on a .4 acre lot with a yard! We are getting a dog! My boys will have bedrooms that are big enough. They will be able to ride their bikes in this neighborhood.

What was my experience like? It broke me. I lost my identity losing my tools, my hobbies.....like literally imagine losing everything you do with your spare time and going from a comfortable suburb with room for everything to the city and being cramped. I found some new hobbies; kayaking, paddleboarding, hiking. Over time have I have replaced some of the old shit I lost with better newer gear/tools.

Lululemonparty_ · 2023-05-25T19:22:26+00:00

Went from 3 bed 2.5 bath 2 level house to a couple of 2 bed 2 bath rentals and now a 2 bed 2 bath condo

Only-Level5468 · 2023-05-25T19:27:01+00:00

Still in the process but i’ll be going from a 3 bed 1.5 bath to a nice 1 bed 1 bath apartment primarily because we bought low and are selling high on the house. Fortunately I’ll be able to buy another house soon with the $$ from selling my house once/if the market settles back down

WeirdSysAdmin · 2023-05-25T20:04:02+00:00

I’m still in the same place. Would like to move but everything on the market that isn’t a shit hole is like a million dollars and interest rates are like infinity percent right now.

yeldellmedia · 2023-05-25T20:30:58+00:00

I went from a 4 bedrooom 3 full bath 3000 sq ft house that had a large inground pool, small private lake access, a 1000 sq ft addition and a 400 gallon saltwater aquarium to a 2 bedroom apt and a 50 gallon goldfish tank…..but living my best life

src670 · 2023-05-25T21:49:31+00:00

17 room 3 story Victorian Queen Anne to a 2 bedroom apartment.

No_Analyst_5235 · 2023-05-25T21:51:04+00:00

Went from a three bedroom townhouse to a 1 bedroom coop.. I had so many things to move that I gave a lot away and sold some . Kept my flamethrower though 😁

chicken_po_boy · 2023-05-25T22:24:12+00:00

I moved from a 2100 sqft 4BR home to a 1500 sqft 3BR apartment. I Love it here. Less to clean, no clutter, no property taxes, no repairs, no lawn maintenance, no snow shoveling, no pets, no roommates. Just me. And my kids every other week. It’s my space. On my off week I am free to travel on a moment’s notice. I have a job that allows me to work remotely. Rent is $1250 in a LCOL area. Only thing that sucks is no garage.

rsmiley77 · 2023-05-25T23:51:24+00:00

I stayed in the marital home. Split custody of kids. Ex lives in a nasty two bed apartment. Somehow even with paying child support I have more money now than before getting divorced. Imagine that. I used to scoff at men who kept their accounts separate in marriage. Now I swear by it myself.

skotman01 · 2023-05-26T01:38:37+00:00

Moved from a 3000sqft 5bd/2bth that I built in 2020, to my crash pad in ATL…so basically homeless

FlyingSaucer51 · 2023-05-26T04:05:36+00:00

Owned 2 acres of land and a 2006 square foot home in the woods in North Carolina. (Paid off)

Sold it to move to Los Angeles, California for her career. Lived in a 2 bedroom apartment.

COVID hit - Divorce

Now I live in a 8’x10’ rented room in a gentleman’s home with two housemates. Struggling to find a job. Etc.

stevenhs8821 · 2023-05-26T04:18:44+00:00

Still in process, but plan is to go from 4br/2-1/2ba to 35ft sailboat.

zingeasy · 2023-05-26T04:47:25+00:00

Living in my van at a campground and bartending down in the Florida keys. Kinda miss my old life, but living a simple life in paradise is pretty great too. Luckily no children involved. 🤷

Background-Tax1986 · 2023-05-26T05:50:55+00:00

Went from brand new 3/3 3k sqft. Gated community fully customized home picked everything to living in my mothers converted garage room.

ChiefsGuy2014 · 2023-05-26T09:47:05+00:00

4,000sqft 5br/5ba to a shitty 3br 1 1/2ba townhome.

Afroviking1 · 2023-05-26T14:57:37+00:00

Went from a 4 bedroom 3 bathroom house to a waterfront condo in Panama.

captainchippsixx · 2023-05-26T15:33:37+00:00

Yeah I had to do a roommate. It sucked. Then I had a gf for 2 years and we moved into together. Left a 3/2 home but mentally so much better.

Look at the rents where you want to live and you will know if you can do it.

true2it2 · 2023-05-26T17:02:35+00:00

Moved from a 4bd/3ba 3000SF home on 2 acres to my parents spare rooms for about 6 months. Then to a 3bd/2ba in a sardine can for a year with my new (at the time) girlfriend. Now we're moving to a 4bd/3ba 2500SF farmhouse on 20 acres. Divorce was finalized this past Janurary. It all began in spring 2021.

FussyKraken · 2023-05-26T18:24:53+00:00

Sold my 3bed/2bath that I bought before marriage….she got half. Now I am living in a camper trailer to save money. Rent elsewhere is ridiculous. It’s not terrible, but I have to remind myself that this is just temporary. On a plus side I now have better AC and hotter showers!

dnbndnb · 2023-05-26T19:38:59+00:00

I have “resources”. My home now is amazingly the very same home model as that of my ex-, though not as nice inside. My life will barely change.

HouseHackFreedom · 2023-05-26T23:12:48+00:00

When I went through a similar experience, I decided to move into a 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom place to ensure I had enough room to host my kids when they're with me. One of the best financial decisions of my life was to make the space not only great for my kids but also great for guests so that I could start renting out the extra space on Airbnb when the kiddos were with the ex (while still preserving my privacy). The rental income now covers more than my monthly mortgage and even surpasses my child support payments.

Electronic-Purple293 · 2023-05-27T14:08:31+00:00

In 1983, I picked my wife up from a 4 week field course for teachers. When we got home, she told me to stay at her parents, which I did. She was bipolar so many nights she did not want me to come home, but this was different. I stayed with her parents for several weeks, got a very crappy illegal apartment which I occupied for two years. But 18 months after D Day, I met my current wife and 24 months after D Day I was living in my second wife's apartment in NYC. Now married 36 years. No complaints. First wife got medicated and remarried 30 years.

Ambitious_Flow9819 · 2023-05-29T06:14:56+00:00

I went from a 6 bedroom, 3 bath, 3 car garage to living with my mom. Still in divorce process but I plan to recover once this is done.

Title	For those that are divorced
Author	SeminoleTom
Upvotes	11
Comments	97
Date	May 25, 2023 4:22 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13rm4l8/for_those_that_are_divorced/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/for-those-that-are-divorced.1220305 https://theredarchive.com/post/1220305

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