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RideATX Archive

View 0 posts and 582 comments by RideATX on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

If it's earned during the marriage from community property then it's communal. I'm not an expert, ask a Lawyer. If it's separate and kept separate the entire time, maybe you have a case... depends on the state and circumstance.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 02:33 AM
2

Yes, it's from No More Mr. Nice guy by Robert Glover. You have to make sure your needs are met, if you don't nobody else will. You not fucking other people or living your life is a covert contract, women hate those.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 05:26 PM
4

The most attractive thing you can do is got out there a show her that you can pull attractive women. Waiting around for her to come back messages to her that you can't do better and she is more valuable than you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 05:18 PM
6

I was on the apps the day she filed. Took a few months to build a roster, but it's been more regular with more variety and definitely way less effort from me and more effort from them ever sense. Just get out there, lower your standards, and build up from there. It' doesn't take long once you figure out the game.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 08:58 PM
7

Dude, tell this bitch to fuck off. Covid hasn't been a thing in like 2 years. If she tells you to wear a mask tell her to eat a dick. Grow a pair of balls. I'd laugh in her face. You're being beta AF
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:50 AM
6

They will impute your income. Just go get a new job and focus on your self and then your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:46 AM
1

Jesus... Men lighting themselves on fire to keep other people warm. Great example for your son. Take care of you first, if you don't nobody else will. You aren't a hero because you are struggling. FTB
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:06 AM
6

My rule of thumb has been text when you have something to say. Don't text just for the sake of texting, that tends to come off as needy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 07:08 PM
2

That's a question for your lawyer. But here is a good place to start. http://www.realworlddivorce.com/NewYork
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:27 PM
8

Your premarital assets are yours. anything made or accrued during marriage is split, this includes assets and debts. Good Luck Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 02:01 PM
1

Who is listed as the custodial parent in the MSA? In Texas one of you has to be listed as the "primary" or "custodial" parent even if it's 50/50 custody. If she is custodial, then she can put you on guideline child support just by asking the state AG's child support office. 20% of your after tax income for one child. It's bullshit but that's how Texas works.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 04:28 PM
2

Stop caring what she thinks. You are your own judge and jury. Are you abusive? Are you a narcissists? That is for you to answer. Live a life you are proud of and to hell with what she says about you. Reminds me of the last line of Invictus by W.E. Henley "It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul." Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 02:27 PM
3

What state are you in?
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 02:12 PM
1

1,383 / month take home is a normal salary? Are you in Romania?
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 02:56 PM
2

learn a trade man. 21k a year is wild in your mid 30s. Do you have food banks in your area that provide free meals?
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 03:57 PM
1

100% accurate. These actions were all covert contracts.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 08:43 PM
15

dude, you dodged a huge bullet. Imagine if that happened after you had a couple of kids and were married for 10 years. You got off lucky tbh. Build the life you want and forget about her. There are so many women out there that wasting your life thinking about one is just dumb. Go create a life of abundance. Money, muscles, game. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:25 PM
5

Start living the life you want independent of her. Act like she doesn't exist, and go live your best life. Go plan is the same as the stay plan. Also, if you haven't already, take control of the treasury. Put her on an allowance. If you do this you will be ready to hit the ground running if you decide to file.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 10:26 PM
3

You should have kept the lawyer and let him back channel to the judge. Those guys talk all the time...
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 10:22 PM
3

You can fire your lawyer at any time. Your their boss. Get a new lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 10:14 PM
3

I'm just a guy who went through a divorce, that is a question for your lawyer. You are asking internet strangers detailed questions about things that are way above our pay grade. All family lawyers are pretty much scum trying to extract money from you. You have to manage your lawyer and take control of your case. Read your states statutes on divorce, they all pretty much follow the statute. Looks like you are in MI so start here: http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Michigan
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 04:37 PM
1

Bro, relax. losing 12k in a divorce is chump change in the grand scheme of things. You are going to be fine. Get a good lawyer and listen to them, manage their time and move as quickly as possible. You are going to be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 03:19 PM
2

You are the captain of your ship. Grab the wheel and steer it where you want to go. There is no right answer, just put it in gear and go where you want.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 04:22 PM
4

You need to file in AZ. Much better jurisdiction for men.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 03:43 PM
3

You need to flip your mindset, you are living in her frame. She's in your head and everything you do is in her frame. You need to shift your perspective. Don't give a fuck about what she says or does. Everything is looked at through the lens of is this the best course of action for my kids? If it is then do it, if it isn't then don't. If it's good for your kids and also benefits her then who cares, do it. If it only benefits her, then don't. That's it. That is your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 03:19 PM
12

She ended your marriage, but if you aren't the bad guy then she is... So, she has convinced herself that it's all your fault and in her mind you are a monster. It's how she feels in her own alternate reality. Ignore her and move on with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 04:49 PM
5

Different story, but similar outcome. It'll be 4 years on Feb 5th of this year and it does get better... She's still a pain in the ass from time to time if she doesn't get her way, but generally we co-parent well and keep what's best for the kids at the forefront. Hang in there through the storm, if you weather it, it will pass and the sun will rise. Good Luck Brothers.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 08:03 PM
4

Just pick her up and put her in your car. She's 4... Take her for ice cream and do something fun. If every time you pick her up you have a treat ready to go and a good time planned she'll come over to your side quickly. kids are easy like that.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 03:45 PM
1

the real question is how much did you walk away with... If you also walked with 3.45mil then it sucks but not a bad consolation prize. Granted it was your money and all that but still, you aren't homeless.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 03:22 PM
12

600k including child support. 250k without. right at 50/50 custody... Plus 80k to Lawyers for a simple divorce because she was an emotional wreck who used her lawyer as her therapist and listened to his bullshit...
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 02:01 AM
2

Texas 2 kids age 10 Me; $160, her $80 52/48 Custody $2000/month in after tax dollars plus I pay all insurance cost which is around $500/month.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 04:29 PM
1

99% of the time it depends on how reasonable your SBXW is... Most guys can set aside emotion and treat it like a business transaction.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:31 PM
6

Once somebody starts divorce proceedings then all bets are off and you are free to date whoever your want. Also, almost all states are no fault and the judge isn't going to care that you hooked up with someone after the divorce started. Their bargaining chip is worthless, treat it as such.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 04:07 PM
6

Sell everything pay off debt and start fresh.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 03:24 PM
11

I'm almost 4 years out and yes it does get better. She was an absolute psycho during the process and for a while after but she finally calmed down after a few years and we co-parent well at this point. Life is good. The best part is I haven't checked my bank account in years... If I didn't spend it, no money goes out. It's really great.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 04:50 PM
1

50/50 doesn't happen in TX unless the mother agrees to it. The Family code allows for roughly 55/45 but you still get to pay full child support. Mothers get custody and CS roughly 93% of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 03:52 PM
1

It's more like the court is biased towards the mother so the only way to get 50/50 is if you both agree. So you're paying her to agree.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 06:41 PM
2

No kids... Get the fuck out, she's not your problem or responsibility. Let her go be a girl boss or whatever her deluded feminist thinks she should be. Reality will be a slap in the face.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 03:37 PM
0

Dread game... Google it + Rian Stone
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 03:33 PM
2

You have to accept there is no why, there is only what is. You have to move on and bury all that in the past.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 07:56 PM
5

Great advice if you're a scumbag... The state will just end up garnishing your paycheck anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 03:31 PM
3

Listen to your lawyer, they know the system. Less than 3% of divorces go in front of a judge for a trial, but the ones that do tend to drag on for months if not years.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 02:49 PM
1

start here. You're going to get the EOW screw job if you can't get her to agree to 50/50. http://www.realworlddivorce.com/NewYork
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 07:19 PM
7

Set sail for trial, manage your lawyer to keep fees down. All the BS she will throw at you doesn't need to be responded to. If you disagree with something, just say "Well, I don't agree with that lets see what the judge has to say about that." It will take a while but you will be shocked by how quickly attitudes change as the trial date approaches.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 03:56 PM
3

Positive: Getting laid on demand by good girls who do whatever is asked of them Doing whatever I want, whenever I want, all the time Never looking about my bank account because if I didn't spend it the balance doesn't change Not having to listen to stupid stories about friends, neighbors or co-workers. Downside: Sometimes if I don't want to invite a girl over I have to fold my own laundry...
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 04:42 PM
1

Who gives a flying fuck what she says about you as a dad. Listening to her is a retarded move. You are you're own judge and jury, why are you looking to her for validation? Are you a bad dad? Do you do things that a bad dad would do? If you are then fix it, if not, just do what you think is best and ignore her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 03:37 PM
9

I bet that felt great brother. Enjoy. My ex started a podcast with one of her divorced mom friends and listening to them complain about getting finessed and pumped and dumped by high status guys was the best. It confirmed everything I tried to tell her before the divorce, you're pretty but nobody of my status wants a 40 year old single mom with floppy tits. Perky 25 year olds exist and that's who you're competing against.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 04:23 PM
1

Don't listen to what she says, watch what she does. You have your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 04:16 PM
11

I've had some incredible experiences since getting divorced in 2020. It's all about creating the life you want to live. You are the master of your fate.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 02:25 PM
1

It's not going to match you with her, one of you would have to swipe right on the other. You might see her profile, just swipe left on it...
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 04:31 PM
2

The problem is you aren't leading... Your getting used and left, flip the script. It's your life and they are trying to become a part of it. But, you have to have a life that someone would want to join.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 04:10 PM
1

Hinge and Bumble. You don't have to put divorced in your profile, but if you have kids you should disclose that. Good luck brother, it's a numbers game but there are good girls out there, you just have to sort through the island of misfit toys to find the good ones.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 04:08 PM
8

Nah man, you just have to sort through the island of misfit toys until you find a good one. I had a lot of fun dating after my ex filed. Had a pretty great run for 2 yrs before one hung around long enough and never gave me a reason to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 02:40 PM
2

Go to an upscale bar in your area on a saturday evening. Look around, and copy what you like.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 03:50 PM
4

it got taken down already lol
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 03:21 PM
1

yes
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 08:49 PM
2

The Cap on CS is reasonable but otherwise Texas is horrible for Child Support. You can have your kids 50% of the time and still pay max child support to the mother plus have to provide their insurance. I wouldn't say anything is good about the Texas CS system other than the cap. One thing you didn't mention about Alimony in Texas is that there are very specific criteria that the a person must meet in order to even qualify for the limited duration alimony. Unless there is documented domestic viol…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 02:38 PM
2

In my experience I found about 1 out of every 10 I went out with wasn't broken, damaged, boring or fat. Had to find that 1 out of 10 maybe five or 6 times to find my GF. So, 1 out of 50 or 60. Had a lot of fun along the way tho...
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 04:17 PM
1

Yeah, you have to sort through the broken ones but there are plenty of normal girls out there. You got a bad one... cast her aside and move on to the next.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:03 PM
5

Similar story brother. Life is so much better these days. Men will accept such horrible treatment and have no idea that women who act right and are respectful and kind are available and waiting... Glad you are doing well brother.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:01 PM
1

Why are you simping for her so hard? Just kick her ass out.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 08:17 PM
2

I cohabitated for 1.5 years during my divorce and for 6 months after it was finalized. I remember the feeling of peace when I moved the last of my things into the new house, sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in silence, everything settled and completely free. It was truly a beautiful moment. And then the revolving door of plates showed up every night for the next year lol. Good Luck Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 01:14 PM
1

Start here. ​ http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Alaska
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 02:37 PM
5

When the kids hit ~5 years old is when they walk away... I don't know why, but that seems to be the magic number. Probably has to do with them starting school and becoming more able to take care of their own needs. The Moms realize that the wall is looming and it freaks them out.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 05:16 PM
23

Telling her is 100% selfish. Keep your family together, and go forth and sin no more.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 07:16 PM
1

This guy sucks. He's living in his wife's frame. He needs to tell her to shut the F up.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 02:09 PM
2

Do you need to pay that much? Probably not. Will you be required to? most likely. In Texas the mom is the custodial parent 92% of the time. And the custodial parent gets paid guideline child support regardless of each person's income. Good Luck.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 10:01 PM
1

Oooof.... That was tough read... You need to No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover and then read the MRP sidebar. You'll be okay, but right now you are living completely in your wife's frame. You need to become your own mental point of origin. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 03:22 PM
1

I'm not a lawyer, but have experience. Texas is great for alimony but SUCKS for child support. They only way you're going to get out of it without being incredibly lucky are the following. She is reasonable and actually cares about the best interest of the kids (lol) and both parties agree during mediation to 50/50 and neither being the custodial parent. You have great evidence and have documented your parenting routine extensively AND documented her lack of participation AND you get a Judge tha…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 06:18 PM
4

She started going to yoga 5x a week during the day while the kids were in school, 4 hours total between getting ready, drive time, the class and showering and getting ready after. Then would complain she shouldn't have to work more than part time because she was so busy... Now that she HAS to work full time she doesn't have time for yoga and she's gained weight. They really do be like that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 06:11 PM
1

Classic example of men raised as defective women...
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 04:37 PM
2

The laws vary by state, but in Texas it is very common. Ignore the deadbeat losers who don't have jobs or are in jail. That is totally different then most of the guys on here. Those guys are deadbeats and shit heads that aren't involved in their kids lives and we can all agree they should pay for their kids. In Texas the mom gets to be the "custodial" parent 92% of the time... The default parenting time "standard order" is 75% vs 25%. However, just by asking the dad can get 65% -45% Expanded SPO…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 04:26 PM
1

I'm sorry, but no. I have my kids just under 50% of the time and I pay their mom 2k/month (after tax money). Mind you, we make similar salaries and I'm responsible for all of their expenses when they are with me, same as she is. I live in a 1500sf 1950's house that is clean and safe but very outdated. She lives in a brand new 3000sf house and drives a new Mercedes. The system is fucked up. Yeah, if you see your kid 3 days a month then of course you should support them, but that is not what it is…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 03:56 PM
2

The best is where she says that Mass law is horribly unfair to women... God, I hope she gets emotional and marries the new guy. Feel bad for her ex.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 07:45 PM
2

took me 2.5 years to fine a girl that was attractive, not a woke retard, and was thin... The fit girl pool is shallow af. If you don't mind the girl being 130-170 then the pool is deep. I totally get where you're coming from, I had a lot of plates on the thicker side...
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 04:14 PM
2

No you don't, it's actually the opposite. Act like you're better than her, a man on his mission and she will follow you. Treat her like a celebrity and she'll treat you like a fan.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 09:08 PM
2

I disagree. My kid's mom absolutely loved me, by her words and actions. She definitely felt love for over 10 years, women's actions don't lie over the long term. The difference is for her it was a feeling and when she started to FEEL differently she followed her feelings. Men CHOOSE love and stick to their commitment. You've heard a guy described as a man of his word, have you ever heard a girl described as a woman of her word? Bottom line, she's not yours, it was just your turn.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 08:47 PM
1

Get out now... Your kids will be fine. I don't love you is the kiss of death.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 03:11 PM
1

I'd probably pass... I do think it would be fun to try to plate her... Be a full blow f-boy, but keep emotional distance between you. This is only if you're over it and just want bang it out a few times... But def use protection.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 02:11 PM
3

That's pretty much exactly how I was set up. It worked great for a long time, then she found out that I was saving what went into my separate account and investing it and over 10 years it was quite a significant amount. Then when I stupidly mentioned how much we had saved/invested it wasn't "fair" because she wanted all these things and that was her money too... The dumb broad spent every penny she earned and drained the joint every month as well 10 years of working and she never had more than $…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 04:48 PM
2

Attention is the coin of the realm. I wouldn't read too much into it, she wants attention and you are a source. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 09:18 PM
6

I look at it a little different from you. I use those moments as a chance to guide how she controls my kids lives when they are with her and steer her in the right direction. If it is just her issue, then IDGAF. At the end of the day, she's still just a little girl who doesn't know what to do asking dad what she should do so she can avoid blame if its the wrong choice. I'm okay with that because that's an evolved behavior in women.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 08:57 PM
3

Bro, you are the captain. You NEED to be delegating these tasks, you have to communicate what needs to be done and set expectations for her. If she fails to meet those expectations then I'd suggest you divorce. She doesn't get a free ride just because she's pleasant. Right now there is a failure of leadership on your part.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 03:37 PM
3

I messed around with a girl like this. Great girl to hang out with but completely useless. I put her to work when she was trying to get GF status, she only lasted a couple of weeks before she started complaining about having to do the most basic tasks. She didn't make the cut. Cut bait and move on OP, she's lazy and broken.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 02:07 PM
10

My kids mom said the same shit. It's just an emotional outburst, ignore her. You can't let her emotions effect yours or else you're in for a tumultuous ride. Grey rock and ignore her, she isn't your friend or even someone who's validation you seek. Be your own mental point of origin.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 04:04 PM
2

That's sucks man... In your situation, I guess I'd pay for my kid to do one or two activities that I really wanted them to participate in and draw the line there. I'm lucky my kid's Mom doesn't weaponize them like that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 06:19 PM
1

This post is a perfect encapsulation of why having frame is everything... If you are following her lead and trying to please her/make her happy it's a road to misery. You have to lead and not put up with bullshit like this. Do what you do, be on your mission and do not give an inch. Yes, Virginia you do have to be an asshole.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 02:22 PM
2

Extracurricular's are either addressed in your decree/temp parenting plan or they aren't. If they are then it should be clear what you owe, if they aren't then I wouldn't pay one dime, that's what the $2100/month should cover. I made sure this wasn't included in my decree and my kids mom tried to hit me up early on for stuff and I just said that's what I pay you over 2k a month after tax for, don't come to me for anything else ever and she hasn't. She drops hints from time to time but I ignore. …
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 02:15 PM
2

Biology
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 01:59 PM
3

I doubt they would negotiate the rate, but you can manage your lawyer. They will bill you as much as you let them. I told my lawyer he was not authorized to read any emails respond to OC or do anything on my case without my express authorization. I paid him less than 10k, my kids mom used her lawyer like a therapist and racked up over 80k in legal bills. Often they would send over stuff and I would just email them back without talking to him. I wrote down every time I talked to him or sent him a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 06:27 PM
3

This is easy to answer. Texas has spousal maintenance, but there are very specific requirements and the vast majority don't meet those requirements. Here is the language directly from the Texas Family Code. Sec. 8.051. ELIGIBILITY FOR MAINTENANCE. In a suit for dissolution of a marriage or in a proceeding for maintenance in a court with personal jurisdiction over both former spouses following the dissolution of their marriage by a court that lacked personal jurisdiction over an absent spouse, th…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 06:54 PM
2

Just tell them she's going through a hard time, but you know how much she loves them. Once she gets through it she will be around more. Honestly, I doubt they care that much. Kids are very resilient.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 06:23 PM
3

I know what you mean, there are so many mid women out there. It's a numbers game, just keep at the grind, plate the ones you like and eventually you will find one that stands out. Took me 2.5 years.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 03:07 PM
1

She doesn't respect you because you don't check her behavior. Blow it up, have a come to Jesus meeting and let her know things are going to change or you are gone. Be a rock and don't fall for her emotional manipulation. Good Luck.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 04:33 PM
7

No More Mr. Nice Guy: Dr. Robert Glover The Rational Male: Rollo T When I Say No I Feel Guilty: Manual Smith
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 02:38 PM
2

Read the Texas family code regarding alimony. There are very specific circumstances regarding who can receive alimony and for what reasons as well as limits on duration. I personally wouldn't ever agree to alimony in Texas because of the Family code. My kid's mom's lawyer started down that road and I was like absolutely not, you show me where she qualifies per the Texas Family code and then we can discuss. He then tried to guilt trip me about it being my responsibility, be a man etc. Don't fall …
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 08:39 PM
1

Based on your user name, it looks like you are in Texas. If you're in Texas then Alimony shouldn't be that bad. Child Support will be 25% of your take home pay until the kid reaches 18 or graduates high school, which ever is later.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 05:59 PM
5

Just no. They're called simps (because they look like homer simpson's mouth) and they're everywhere. Relax. You'll be fine. Also, if the girl is hot you can overlook some meat curtains.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 05:56 PM
134

No, girls try way harder when they don't have a ring...
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 04:00 PM
2

Lol, I was called financially abusive over and over. My abuse, making a rule that we spend less than we make every month and don't go into credit card debt...
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 01:54 PM
5

Dude, get rid of the pets and consider your self lucky you got out without much damage and with no kids. It sucks, but your divorcing on easy mode. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 09:19 PM
10

That is a bad idea until custody is settled and everything is finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 04:05 PM
2

Its just how kids are man. Don't take it personally, enjoy your time with your daughter when you have her. My kids are 9 and we pretty much just talk on the phone when they need something from me. We do text regularly, but kids just aren't into long boring phone calls. It is what it is. Good Luck.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 02:48 PM
5

Block her on all social media bro. This is a self own for giving her a view into your life.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 02:29 PM
17

The truth is what it is and in most, but not all cases both have some blame. Yes, she filed and blew our family apart and that is what it is. Get to a mental state where the only place you seek validation is from yourself. I know what happened and whether she admits the truth or not doesn't change that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 03:02 PM
1

I dated during the divorce process and didn't see it as cheating. The minute she filed for divorce she broke our vow and I was done with her. The rest was just paperwork. To each their own I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 06:46 PM
1

Women communicate covertly with niceties and undertones. Men communicate with facts and directness. This isn't a space to talk about feelings, it's a space for direct communication and actionable advice.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 04:23 PM
1

Yeah, women play a game to try and break you down. Never give an inch and don't give a fuck about her happiness, that's her problem to worry about.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 04:34 PM
1

Just tell the kids in advance that you have to be out of town one weekend and text her the day of and let her you had an emergency and you can't pick them up on Saturday morning. She can deal with it. Quit feeling sorry for your self and do something.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 08:39 PM
2

I don't hate her, that is counter productive to my goal of giving my kids they best life I can. I have to absorb her emotional outburst from time to time but I just think of her as my oldest child and deal with her the same way I deal with my kids. Ultimately, her being stable and happy helps my kids so I facilitate that when it doesn't put me at a disadvantage. I don't do her favors or things like that, but I make her life easier when it comes to the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 04:32 PM
2

Get every penny you are legally entitled to and spend it to provide a good life for your kids. Her, her parents and her family are no longer your problem.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 04:28 PM
2

It will get so much worse if you have a kid with her. What value does she bring to your life? You need a girl who looks up to you and respects you. She does not. Do your future self a huge favor and end it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 09:58 PM
4

Everything is going to get split 50/50 including the lawyers bills. Going nuclear hurts YOU. It may feel good, but you are cutting off your nose to spite your face. This is a business transaction, be a man and set your emotions aside. Logic and reason are your friend. Who cares who she is screwing, get a fair settlement and move on. Lawyers will bleed you until there is no money left then push for settlement or fire your because you can't pay. Most of us who paid 100k+ to get divorced did it bec…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 02:39 PM
1

When I see a house on fire I walk away. Go live your life and be awesome, forget about the past.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 02:20 PM
29

Dude, she sucks... You've got to let her go and move on. There are better girls out there.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 06:09 PM
1

He needs the cash, and took a bad deal. He didn't want to pay the taxes and penalty on withdrawing from his 401k.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 04:43 PM
1

School decisions are almost always spelled out in your decree...
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 03:40 PM
5

This doesn't sound like it's his birthday party... It sounds like a trip to the waterpark with one friend. I wouldn't go... FTB
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 03:36 PM
3

Brutal... Stay the course brother. This too shall pass.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 02:32 PM
2

Congrats man, that's a move from one of the worst to one of the best...
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 09:36 PM
1

What state were you originally in and what state did you move to before the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 09:13 PM
2

Ignore her bro. Your time, your life, do what you want... Don't even respond to BS like that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 02:57 PM
5

Bro you can do this now... Like you can literally ignore her and do whatever you want. You: "Hey, I'm going to California for a week." Her: What! Why!? You: "Vacation" *Gets in car and drives to the airport* You can do whatever you want bro...
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 02:38 PM
1

Be cordial and have a friendly relationship with her for the sake of your kid, but keep your distance. I sometimes go to my Ex's house for kids birthdays or holidays and even have eaten dinner there with them, but I keep all conversations about the kids and don't really ever discuss anything other than the kids with her. Coming full circle and having a good relationship with your kids mother is healthy and good thing for the kid.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 08:14 PM
3

It's a set of mental models. Make yourself your mental point of origin. Frame. Game. Gym. Google it. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 12:49 PM
1

It's important to be your own mental point of origin. Happy for you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 12:27 PM
3

You tried to coordinate for months, she wouldn't engage, so at some point you have to just live your life and ignore her. I say go camping with your kid and block her number. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 09:16 PM
7

Not a lot of guys who filed hang out here... Generally the person that files wants the divorce and doesn't need advice or support.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 09:12 PM
2

That's because you've been conditioned your whole life to want that. But the answer is "Yes Virginia, you do have to be an asshole."
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 08:19 PM
5

You survived growing up around your mother, your kids will too... It's only for a short time anyway. Keep 50-50. Good Luck brother, you got this.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 02:27 PM
1

Yeah, I spun plates for about two years and then one came along that I liked a lot more than the rest. I slowly shed plates and just stopped replacing them as I spent more and more of my time with her, we've been dating for 2 years. I always tell her just give me a reason to move on and I will in an instant but so far she hasn't....
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 02:12 PM
0

I had a similar experience... It's a lot of fun and a nice distraction.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 09:21 PM
1

Dude, Real talk... you are the problem in this relationship. Why would you ever let a girl tell you what you can or can't do? You need to read the Red Pill Sidebar ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 09:00 PM
12

It's because women communicate covertly and a lot of guys don't get the message. When they explode it means they've resorted to overt communication and if they feel like they have to do that then it means they are out of fucks to give.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 03:12 PM
1

Ignore her & keep being a great dad. She'll calm down eventually if you give her nothing emotionally.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 02:22 PM
1

You're in a good position to get alimony and child support. Work less, spend more time with the kids and document the hell out of that. Read the sidebar on the married red pill sub. She is very obviously plotting the divorce, doesn't matter. You can only control what you do, start building a life outside of her and if she ends up turning around and coming with you, great, if she leaves also great, you've built the life you want.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 07:37 PM
12

Been through it brother... The good news is they will be fine, just show them love and make sure you have a good spot for them when they are with you. They will adjust and make it work, try to keep conflict with the mother limited and focus on yourself and them. I know in the moment it feels like the worst thing ever, but honestly I'm 3 years out and life has settled into a nice routine. Your kids will adjust and be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 02:25 PM
3

You owe her nothing. Why would you stay with someone who you aren't attracted to? Bro this is a pretty easy case of GTFO.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 01:53 PM
2

GTFO bro. She sucks and won't get better after having a kid. Don't ruin your life and have a kid with this loser. Leave ASAP, your life in 5 years can be awesome or it can suck. Your choice.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 02:51 PM
1

5000ft as the crow flies, 1.7 miles / 6 minutes by car. It makes everything so much more convenient.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 02:21 PM
2

It's a numbers game, persistence is the name of the game. Eventually you can build a rotation, just have to weed through the pile till you fine a few that are interested.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 02:08 PM
6

I have 175 overnights a year and pay 2k a month... She still regularly texts me asking if I want / will help pay for this camp or that activity. It's fucking wild...
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 09:19 PM
7

This post should be titled "Men with out frame, and the things they do". I had a girl tell me that watching porn was cheating one time and I laughed in her face. Her position changed in that instant because she was into me. Good luck OP.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 06:13 PM
3

Personally, I never delete anything from my camera roll. It's the story of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 02:52 PM
3

Moved from a brand new build million dollar 3500sf home to a 3/2 1500sf rental a mile away. Been there 3 years, it's not as nice as the old house, but it has AC, 1GB fiber internet and a big yard. Life is good.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 08:18 PM
1

She is entitled to half of what was earned/saved by the two of you during the marriage. If she's trying to take half of premarital assets then that's a different story. Counter with an offer of 50/50 for time with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 08:16 PM
2

and sometimes in there 30's as the sun disappears when they reach the shadow of the wall...
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 02:13 PM
17

Watch the game film, figure out what you did wrong and then make yourself better. If you learn from your mistakes and become a better man then you'll end up better off end the end. Don't waste this opportunity. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 08:01 PM
4

Spent money can't be split. Anything earned during the marriage is up for grabs 50/50. Anything you brought into the marriage is yours.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 07:20 PM
11

Avoid/Ignore her and have as little contact as possible. Go through Lawyer and set sail for trial ASAP. Because of your net worth it's going to cost you a lot of money because the ex is unreasonable. If you were an empty bag then the lawyers wouldn't entertain her nonsense, but because you can pay they will indulge her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 07:17 PM
1

You need a side piece... She gets first crack at your libido not sole custody of it. 13 years... dude... Marriage counseling is fine but doesn't really work. At best you'll get obligated compliance which leads to resentment. She has to want to bang you...
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 04:01 PM
4

What state are you in and how much money are you willing to burn? 99% of the time under normal circumstances if you go to trial then the judge will follow the state statute. You can spend 200k for basically the same outcome you would have gotten for 10k. IMO your lawyer knows what he's doing and is doing you a favor.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:27 PM
1

They're full divorced, there is nothing for the lawyer to do. He's not seeking any legal remedy... It's a waste of money IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:23 PM
1

If you are the primary parent, you can agree that she pays nothing and then turn around and request the state AG's office review and put her on Child Support after the fact.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 09:21 PM
9

Being the stay at home dad and with your ability to WFH, you can probably get 50/50 and be the primary parent, the key is to be able to control where your daughter goes to school. Move to the suburbs, buy an affordable house and enroll your daughter in school there. Your wife can either move close by or can commute to get your daughter to school on her days. A judge isn't going to block you from moving within the same metro area.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 06:32 PM
3

Why does he need an attorney? He just needs to ignore her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 03:17 PM
8

Ignore her, taking the clothes back on your way to work was a mistake. That's a W for her. Your kid is responsible to take her stuff back to her mom's house, that's not your problem. Stop reading her emails, ignore everything that isn't specifically about the kids logistics. Setup a rule to send all of her emails into a folder that doesn't pop up on your phone, check the email folder once a week.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 03:16 PM
1

Men swapping notes... It's how the world was built.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 02:50 PM
1

Let me sum it up for you. Read no more mr. nice guy, When I say no I feel guilty and The Rational Male in that order. Hit the gym and push heavy weight, be attractive, don't be unattractive, make yourself your mental point of origin. Use grey rock, fogging, negative inquiry while being the oak and maintaining frame. Don't leave the house, have a hidden voice recorder running 24/7, 50/50 is the hill to die on, focus on yourself first while being super dad. She's not yours it was just your turn, d…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 02:50 PM
35

The joke is on her though... 99% of the time she won't do better, they are delusional and don't understand that even a hot 38 year old doesn't hold a candle to a mid 22 year old. Gravity and time are a cruel mistress...
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 03:07 PM
3

It seems overwhelming, we've all be there... I can't tell you that its easy, but it gets better. You will recover and you will be fine. I promise, stay strong brother.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 08:52 PM
3

I feel you brother. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 04:27 PM
2

After two years you can revisit child support. No lawyers, just file with the state AG and they will look at income and follow the state guidelines. She'll be pissed, but they'll just take it out of her paycheck.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 04:44 PM
1

He's not thinking about that. He likes banging her, why would he want to get married when he's got money and can still pull hard body girls in their 20s?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 09:15 PM
1

Those photos are a part of the story of your life... If you can't handle having them on your phone, then at least back them up. I didn't delete anything tho and it hasn't been a problem.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 04:34 PM
1

The only time this works is when her monkey branch falls through and she settles for you. Once it gets to the point that she says she wants a divorce then it's time to give it to her. She made a vow and if she is willing to break it or even threaten to break it then let her go to the streets.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 03:09 PM
1

I have expanded expanded SPO, basically ESPO + Wednesday's before her weekends. What is your question?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 03:05 PM
1

He wants to keep the hard body 23 year old undergrad, you're a divorced 39 year old with a kid and fading looks. You are his backup plan, but he obviously has money so he has options and he's keeping you as one. Good luck with dating.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 01:58 PM
2

This is a fantasy... There is no "knockout" blow you can deliver to her. She'll get served then has a month to respond and then it gets dragged out for years while the lawyers get paid. Honestly, there isn't a "better way" to go about it, it all depends on if your ex is going to be reasonable or not. The only thing you can do is be prepared and manage your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 01:25 PM
6

Why not just rent a house? If you do buy, you could draw up a contract same as with any other tenant and have her pay rent. Then you should be covered, but definitely talk to a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 03:50 PM
1

Closer is better especially when the kids get older and want to do things with their friends from school.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 03:29 PM
3

Yeah dude, they evolved to manipulate because they are physically weaker. It's an innate trait in their hard wiring.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 08:04 PM
0

Fun fact, when you rent the taxes are built into the rent amount plus an additional profit for the person/company renting the place to you... At my old house the taxes were 24k/yr. It is what it is if you want to live somewhere nice.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 07:32 PM
2

Pretty much a perfect synopsis... A women's happiness is like a road trip with no destination. It's a man's job to drive and steer towards a clear destination.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 08:41 PM
1

Tell her "bitch, I work all week, you work 1 day a week. I make the money you raise the kids. I'm not fucking getting up with them in the middle of the night when I have to get up and work at 6am. Do your job and I'll do mine." Yeah she would be mad, but at least she would respect you. Women are like children... If you never say no to a child and always give them what they ask for / let them have their way, what kind of kid do you think you'll be raising? They'll most likely turn out to be a rea…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 08:39 PM
1

Why would you worry about age. I've hooked up with girls from 18-49. Who cares? As long as they make you hard its all good.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 02:04 PM
2

I had a friend who's ex wife had to do soberlink, it's a real PITA. However, even though she was an alcoholic, she did it for 6 months and then the judge said she could stop and gave her primary custody. It actually worked against him since she had "evidence" that she was sober and he couldn't use her drinking in the custody battle.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 02:47 PM
5

Man, I can't believe you had a kid with this woman... Not trying to pile on, but jesus. Go for full custody, your only concern should be the best interest of your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 02:41 PM
2

You're making something that isn't your problem into your problem. Guys love to complicate their lives and then justify why. Leave it alone, be nice to both. If they try to talk to you about it, just tell them that it sounds like a personal issue and you don't want to be involved.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 02:40 PM
3

Sounds like you got screwed on the wording, the way I read it is you are responsible for transferring the money to her. Talk to your 401k provider, they deal with QDROs all the time and will be able to tell you what to do. I don't think you need a lawyer to get it done.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 02:05 PM
5

just turn in two years worth of yearly account statements. refuse to provide anything else unless directed to do so by a judge. Manage your lawyer to keep your fees down. I had to tell my lawyer "do not read any correspondence from her or her attorney without my explicit consent in writing. I will not pay for any services I did not specifically agree to." I had to get in between my lawyer and her lawyer and vet everything. If it was garbage I would tell him not to read it and not to respond. she…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 09:22 PM
2

This doesn't pass the smell test. They can't hold you for 9 - 18 months without some evidence against you...
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 09:10 PM
3

How the hell did you get "coerced" in to signing such a shit deal?
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 06:57 PM
1

Agreed. Listen to your lawyer. If you don't like his attitude, get another one. You need someone who will fight for you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 06:47 PM
27

Beg, borrow, or get a CC and hire a lawyer. You can find another job, you need to fight this. It can be dismissed if she has no evidence, but you have to fight it. Seeking DV charges 3 days after being served divorce papers is a red flag in the system, even with the bias of the courts towards women.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 06:46 PM
8

Congrats, but keep your guard up and don't exhale until the judge has signed the order... 6 months is a long time and when the Mr. Wonderful effect wears off they're like a drowning person grabbing onto whatever they can.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 06:41 PM
1

If the 15 year old was home with the 9 year old then I don't really see what the issue is... I leave my 9yo kids with a 14 year old neighbor babysitter occasionally, that's perfectly normal.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 02:39 PM
1

I dunno man, a house is a house to me. As long as the AC works and there is high speed internet and a comfortable place to sit then I'm pretty chill. Girls just be good at shit like that, obviously if I didn't like something or thought it was too expensive I'd say nah, lets find something else. But, overall I think my place turned out pretty good. One girl who had her own kids did a bang up job on both my kids rooms, they both love it so that makes me love it. As for clothes, I pretty much buy m…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 08:08 PM
5

I just dated some girls and if I liked the decor at their place, i would take them to RH, homegoods & even Ikea, places like that and have them pick some stuff out for my place. Didn't take long to have a pretty nice place.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 08:33 PM
1

Facts. Paying 2k a month while she makes over 100k and we have the kids just about 50/50 is a real kick in the balls no doubt. Texas' CS system is retarded and needs to be overhauled. It doesn't take into account the custodial parents income even if you have 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 03:10 PM
1

That's fair, I make a pretty good salary ~160-170k so paying her 25% pre tax and also covering insurance sucks but it isn't a life wrecker. OP said he makes a good salary so I was saying that to him. If you're already struggling then I can see how it would really suck. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 03:08 PM
13

I'm sure it won't make sense in your head, but you will be okay financially. I pay my kids mom 2k a month in tax free child support and I have more free cash now than when we were a dual income household. It is amazing how much money you can save with out a girl spending it on stupid shit. I often tell people the best part about being divorced is that I never have to look at my bank account, my money just stays there unless I choose to spend it. The amount you're able to save even after CS will …
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 08:56 PM
19

Yep, It's true. That's why taking the red pill is a thing, women don't know what they want and if you give them what they say they want they lose respect for you. It goes against everything you've been taught in your whole life. All you can do is read and learn and be better next time. I know having your family ripped apart over nothing is a real kick in the balls, but if you really are a fit good looking guy who has read up on red pill/game, you're going to have a lot of fun on the other side I…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 08:01 PM
23

I made the same mistake... Too much beta after the kids were born, and not enough alpha. She lost attraction (tingles) for you... It really sucks man. In fact, you being a really good dad and upping your game at home actually works against you, I get it, it makes no sense but it is what it is. You need to read up on dread game and start making yourself your own mental point of origin. Probably not salvageable, but that's pretty much the only way to re-ignite attraction. Good luck, and again I'm …
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 06:49 PM
4

Doesn't sound like it, but he should have shut that shit down immediately... Nothing to do now but gtfo.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 05:28 PM
15

Dude, your life sounds like hell. If you don't have kids get TF out ASAP. No sex, can't even shit in your own house for Chirst sake. She's mentally ill, life is too short to deal with all that BS. I don't normally advocate for divorce, but this is wild. Get out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 02:05 PM
5

I did collaborative... It was still expensive, the lawyers tried to drag it out as long as possible. They wanted to get a bunch of "experts" in the room for multiple meetings and they didn't really add anything to the discussion. It's nice that you don't have to put your fate in the hands of a judge, but it's expensive (mine cost over 100k because my Ex is stupid and used her lawyer as a therapist which he was more than happy to accommodate). It ended pretty quickly when I said I wasn't going to…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 07:42 PM
2

I second this advice. Just make sure it's clear that she is aware the video is being recorded.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 09:40 PM
0

get Roman... It'll give you a steel piece on demand for about 36 hrs.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 09:08 PM
13

Sounds like your kids mom is a real peace of work. Congrats on beating the TRO, good luck with the child alienation. Just be the best man you can be and they will come around.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 09:07 PM
2

Good luck with that... You could reduce your payments to her going forward until you are made whole. I highly doubt she's going to cut you a check...
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 09:05 PM
2

Dude, dating is a numbers game. Rejection isn't failure. With this attitude you're going to come across as needy and you will have very little success dating. You have to date from a place of abundance. You are the prize and she is auditioning for your time and attention.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 04:17 PM
1

Depends on how much money he makes...
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 04:10 PM
1

I like it. Make sure to spend enough to give them a good childhood but save as much as you can for them though. It's their money and they will appreciate it when they're grown.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 01:51 PM
1

No, it's practical advice. He literally can do nothing about her not giving them on his time. If it's not stipulated in the parenting plan that he sees them on his birthday and she's being a dick about it there is no recourse. Celebrate when you have them is good advice. You have no other option unless you want to create drama and at the end of the day it won't matter.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 04:39 PM
2

Take the max child support you can get, only spend it on the children, live frugally and save whatever isn't spent. Use what is saved to pay for their college or for a down payment on a house when they are adults. God knows women suck at saving money and won't help them out when they're older. That's what I would do...
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 04:33 PM
5

You have to lead the relationship where you want it to go. Have a life apart from her, do what you need to do for you. Don't try to make her happy, do what makes you happy and let your happiness trickle down to her. Sounds crazy but she has to think you're better than her for her to respect and desire you. If you act like a servant then she will treat you as a servant and that kills attraction. More alpha, less beta. 90%/10% down to 75%/25% depending on how things are going.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 03:20 PM
2

^this is correct. based on this article by Dalrock. https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2012/04/14/threatpoint/
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 09:20 PM
1

My God... Men really will put up with almost anything to keep the peace. Past is in the past bro, move on with your life and cut this toxic woman out of your life. Do not let her into your house. Ignore everything she says, it's all projection.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 07:20 PM
2

You are being too emotional. It's okay to feel those feelings, but do not let her know. You want her to stay in the new relationship fog during the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 03:34 PM
7

Brother, you need to get red pilled ASAP. Supplicating to her is the fastest thing you can do to make her loose respect for you. You provide her everything and she constantly takes it for granted. You have to shut that shit down. I'd recommend you watch the video below, it explains the dynamic pretty damn well. https://youtu.be/fvNpmrrWhjI
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 03:17 PM
3

It's called in group preference. Women pretty much always side with other women. It's an evolved trait.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 02:57 PM
1

Drag it out bro. Manage your lawyer and stay super involved in your kids activities. Check out the section on relocation here: http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Pennsylvania
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 01:35 PM
1

I took it all with me. Its not like she's going to know what to do with it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 08:55 PM
1

This is a pretty good summary. It's all a numbers game. If you don't care, it's like a magnet for women. They can sniff out needy dues a mile away. Just be cocky funny and be outcome independent.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 03:36 PM
1

You approached two women IRL and got shot down and so now that's not an effective strategy? Bro, go approach 100 women in the next week, accept that rejection is part of the game. Once you get over being rejected and learn a little game then it's just 100% a numbers game.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 03:34 PM
15

Get better. I dropped 20lbs, hit the gym every day and got jacked and then I absolutely slayed for a couple of years before getting into a LTR. Anyone can do it, it just takes effort. The fact that you think any girl is out of your league is your problem. They're all just goofy girls inside, once you realize this its like Neo at the end of The Matrix.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 02:23 PM
6

Yeah man, I get it. You need to shift your mental point of origin to yourself. You've become some who provides for her but is disposable. Women need to see you as better than them or it goes to shit. If you give a child everything they want all the time and never say no or discipline them and give in every time they throw a tantrum, what kind of kid are you going to have? A shit one. She's the same way... There are a couple of mental models in the Red Pill that address this. Father knows best an…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 04:31 PM
7

It's not about the dishes. It's about you not standing up for yourself. You should read No More Mr. Nice Guy. You're chasing her happiness which is a road to nowhere. You need to chase your own happiness and it will trickle down to her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 04:07 PM
5

No women takes accountability for her actions. It's hard coded into their wiring.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 09:20 PM
7

Push it down, get up and take care of your kids. It takes time to heal, it sucks but you have to be a man and be there for your kids. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 08:40 PM
1

Man, this brings back memories. Hooking up with a BPD chick is a wild ride... The sex is insane, but yeah probably not worth it...
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 04:11 PM
3

Will it come around? No, she won't be held accountable. But, the good news is she'll never be happy and the wall is undefeated. Become the best version of yourself and you'll come out on top. Once you get to that point you won't even care what she's doing because it has no meaning to you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 06:20 PM
3

Agreed. But, I'm not here to hold OP's hand. He has google and can figure it out if he wants to. My point to OP is fix yourself and stop worrying about what she's doing. Man up or shut up.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 04:34 PM
4

You need to get more attractive and be less unattractive. Dating apps are for dudes women want to fuck.. Become that, anyone can do it it just takes effort.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 03:11 PM
1

I mean not to poop on the hate parade, but I had a lot of fun on the dating apps. yeah its exhausting, but I met a lot of cool chicks and had a lot of fun. Yeah, of course there are a lot of duds, but you just move on to the next maybe 1 in 10 is worth your time but you eventually find people you vibe with. The key is to just not take it seriously at all and have a mindset that you're looking to have fun.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 04:43 PM
1

classic alpha widow. That's pretty much the plot of the show Sex Life on Netflix.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 06:32 PM
5

I feel you brother. It sucks but this is a safe space to let it out. I will give you this advice, you are giving her space in your head and it's time to evict her. What are you supposed to do? Be fucking awesome and more women will come. she's not one in a million she's one of a million. Good luck and stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 04:45 PM
2

Divorce is sad. Broken families are bad. Divorce parties are one of the most trash things I can imagine.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 04:17 PM
17

For me the one of the best things about being divorced is never having to look at my bank account. My money just stays in there and I never have to worry about the balance.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 06:27 PM
4

To actually do this takes years. Weekly cash withdrawals in various amounts.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 03:46 PM
6

After my divorce, I dated a lot and spun a lot of plates. The thing nobody will tell you is that while it's very fun, it's also exhausting. After a while once you've done everything you can think of with different girls the excitement starts to fade. You kind of realize they're pretty much all the same. For me, it just happened naturally, I was spinning multiple plates but had one I really liked, as the other plates fell off I just stopped replacing them and ended up in an LTR with a great girl.…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 03:38 PM
1

Let it go. You can always make more money, get time with your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 09:41 PM
6

Cover rent, utilities and give her a stipend of a couple hundred per week for food. that is it. No more than 20% of your gross income. Don't put your kid onto the streets regardless of what the mother does.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 03:37 PM
4

You have to fix yourself. You are tolerating bad behavior, if you don't fix it now it will just happen again with the next one. You have to shut that shit down immediately, pull your time and your attention when she doesn't act right. If she wants to be a complaining & negative person, that's her problem, you have more important shit to worry about. You have to be willing to walk away. Her emotions are not your problem. Go watch Rian Stone's youtube. I'd start with the mids watch playlist. He ha…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 10:20 PM
5

She'll never be held accountable, you have to let it go and focus on your kids. It's hard but worth it in the end. Also, the flip side of her never being held accountable is that she'll also never be truly happy. Deep down she knows she is a bad human for tearing apart her family for no reason.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 08:20 PM
2

Also would suggest watching Rian Stone's companion series to these recommended books on YouTube.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 07:59 PM
1

Kids opinion won't matter at that age. Make sure you have documentation/pictures for all the activities you have participated in. What state are you in? Makes a huge difference.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 12:21 AM
1

I hear you man, I was referring alimony and CS. Good luck brother
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 09:45 PM
3

You need a new lawyer that is going to fight for you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 07:25 PM
32

Brother, there is no why, only what is. The faster you realize it's over the quicker you can move on to your new life. She has been thinking about / planning this for years, you've had 6 days to process the end of your marriage. Stay strong and do not let her manipulate your emotions. Good Luck brother. For the record the why is because she's selfish and solipsistic and thinks she can do better than you. FTB
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 04:01 PM
2

Bro, go find a 28 to 32 year old girl to have kids with. Why the hell would you have kids with a 40+ year old woman? Probably not even possible. Also, if there are issues prior to kids there is a 0% chance it gets better after having a child. It ALWAYS gets worse.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 03:24 PM
1

$300/mo. child support for 4 kids is wild. what state are you in?
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 09:21 PM
5

when you have 2 kids, 50/50 custody, both work good jobs, the kids are in school, and you still pay her 2k a month of tax free money, I'd say that probably covers the cost of the kids...
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 05:56 PM
2

I would never agree to alimony in Texas. There are very specific requirements in the state statute to qualify for alimony and she probably doesn't qualify if she has the ability to work. Read the Texas family code. Texas is great about alimony but horrible for child support. For the most part the only way she gets alimony is if you agree to it in mediation. Do not do that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 05:21 PM
2

Get a cake and candles and something small that is for the kids to give her. Keep the peace, and set an example for the kids. If you didn't have kids then hell no.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 04:52 PM
5

Never apologize for a joke. Huge mistake. You did what you did and if she doesn't like it she can take a hike. If anything make fun of her for being mad. Either fog her or use amused mastery.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 08:26 PM
4

This is 100% correct. The number one sign that you're being gaslit is when they accuse you of it. My Ex wrote the book on this behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 08:24 PM
1

You need to get back on that horse ASAP bro... Don't let your mind trick you into thinking you have a problem. Go in with a mission to cum and make it happen. Stop thinking so much and just do it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 05:23 PM
3

Do favors that you want to do regardless of what she's doing. Why do you care if she's working late vs. going on a date. You're giving her space in your head. I pick up my kids and take them to their sports practices which is a favor to her, but I don't do it for her, I do it because I want to spend time with my kids and I'm going either way. Sometimes if we have a disagreement about something and she's being a PITA, she will tell me I can't pick up the kid because she's going to take them. I ju…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 08:03 PM
8

Put your head down and push through. You will survive and thrive on the other side I promise. All of us have been there before, it sucks but always remember you will be free sooner than later. Good Luck Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 05:35 PM
10

You tell the kids there is no why... There is only what is. You can't control what other people do, you can only control your reaction to it. Good life lesson tbh.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 02:12 PM
4

I know a lot of guys on here follow the wait a year before dating strategy, and it's good advice. Personally, I was on the apps and going on dates a week after she filed. I had a lot of fun and it was a nice distraction, I met a lot of girls I'm still friends with to this day, I wasn't looking for anything serious, just to meet new people, have fun and maybe get my dick wet. Overall, if I had to do it again I would do the exact same thing. I get what this guy is saying, sometimes you need some e…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 03:54 PM
2

You should 100% find someone to fuck you. She gets first crack at your libido not sole custody of it. Stay for the kids if that's important to you, but you have needs that should to be met. If she isn't going to do it, then you have to look elsewhere. Personally, I'd pull the financial plug. Keep paying for the household, but if she wants spending money for herself and her hobbies then she needs to get a job. All the kids are in school for most of the day at this point, no reason she can't work.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 08:11 PM
4

Look, I get it. Family Court Lawyers are incredible pieces of shit, most are blood sucking vampires and if girls weren't retarded there would be no need for them. but, going pro se is a road to getting railroaded. There is a reason the number one advice on this forum is get a lawyer. it's true. you just have to find a good one and manage him. I told my lawyer not to ready any correspondence unless i gave him the go ahead. he was mad but at the end of the day they work for you and you have to man…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 05:23 AM
18

lol, this is terrible advice. alimony is not tax deductible anymore. Get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 02:47 AM
7

I had one, it didn't really do anything in Texas. It was just a nice chip to have to prevent her from trying to come after my trust. You can't really pre-nup out of 50-50 asset split of marital assets. Just kept her and her lawyer from trying to go after any gains in the trust during marriage. I was careful to not comingle during the marriage tho.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 02:46 AM
2

Just file now and get it done. The sooner you start the sooner it's over. your daughter will be fine. Also, if she's making good money and you have zero income better to file now.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 09:26 PM
4

Assets should be frozen at the time of filing...
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 05:33 PM
6

She went from constantly telling our friends and family what an amazing husband and father I was for 12 years to I was a complete piece of shit and horrible father in about 3 months. I never changed what I was doing. She also told me one time that she used to think every thing I said and did was right but now she realizes I was wrong about everything and nothing I do was the right choice and I would never amount to anything (while standing in the living room of our 1.2 million dollar house that …
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 04:03 PM
2

Do you have kids? If so. AZ 100% TX is horrible to fathers when it come to Child Support. If no kids, Texas is pretty great about no Alimony. There is a very specific set of circumstances required for her to get alimony and you most likely won't have any unless she meets them. Go read the state statute regarding it. Also go to www.realworlddivorce.com and read up about both states.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 03:47 PM
2

By State statute long term alimony isn't a thing in Texas. You're plan is very generous. Go read the state statute as to what would be required for her to get alimony. I don't think she qualifies. Help her out if you want to, but don't codify it into the agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 05:11 PM
1

There is Alimony in Texas but it requires very specific circumstances in order to get it. Read the state statute, it's all there. In a negotiation I would set a hard line of never agreeing to it and take my chances with the judge, especially if she doesn't meet the very specific criteria. Texas is good about Alimony but v bad about Child Support. There is no "Dollars for Days" system in place so even if you have your kids for 182 overnights per year you still pay full child support.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 07:41 PM
4

Dude, tbh you fucked up but it could be so so much worse. 2 years, no kids, just cut the cord and move on. It'll be a minor blip in your rearview mirror in now time. Stay away from single moms.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 03:10 PM
2

You're fucked. Sorry brother. Should have filed a modification the second you lost your job. Hindsight, I know... The IRS is coming for their money, they don't give a single shit about your problems. Maybe if you can get in front of a judge on a good day and outline your financial situation you could maybe get the alimony reduced... Do you have a 401k you can cash out to pay uncle sam? When does your Alimony end? Could possibly work out a payment plan with the IRS...
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 09:13 PM
1

Custody Asset Division Support (Spousal & Child) Those are the big 3... Everything else is just noise.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 08:51 PM
8

You have your answer. This is all you can do.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 02:13 PM
25

Chances are she won't appeal. Ignore her until something actually happens. You are giving her rent free space in your head. Evict her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 09:41 PM
2

but who is going to enforce those provisions of the MSA?
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 09:36 PM
2

Your daughter will be fine. She already knows how to be a girl by instinct. Show her what a strong supportive male looks like and she'll be fine. Also, you can find a good woman to be her role model when she is older.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 07:35 PM
4

dude, this sounds like a bad idea... It could work in theory until she decides to be difficult. It is multiple times better to end all financial entanglements at the time the divorce is signed.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 07:33 PM
2

how is it so low if she makes double your income? Petition the state for guideline support, you don't even need a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 07:28 PM
3

That's why she's acting the way she is and is forcing you to buy everything. Women hate paying child support more than anything but alimony... A lot of this stuff is who cares. She sends them to school with a plastic bottle of water, buys wal-mart clothes... big deal, what difference does it make?
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 07:27 PM
1

Do you receive child support?
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 05:46 PM
3

what are you talking about? No, it doesn't happen all the time in Texas or anywhere else.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 02:03 PM
13

She is baiting you bro... You took a hard L by taking the bait and reacting to her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 09:43 PM
60

Grow a sack and stop doing her favors. She doesn't respect you. Just live your life and ignore her until you can get divorced or she dies.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 07:53 PM
2

Find a 3 or 4 that makes good money and move in with her until you get back on your feet. Make yourself your mental point of origin. And, sorry for your situation.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 08:16 PM
1

This would be a good place to start. http://www.realworlddivorce.com/NorthCarolina
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 03:23 PM
1

I mean I would prefer it to being shot... But maybe I care less what other people think about me than others do. If you are your own mental point of origin getting shot is worse.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 07:31 PM
0

It's a dick pic... It's not worse than getting shot. Are you serious?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 02:08 PM
5

50/50 is your hill to die on. Don't move out until you have come to an agreement on custody. You're up against it in New York. Read this to get familiar with what you can expect. http://www.realworlddivorce.com/NewYork
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 09:04 PM
6

Long road ahead brother. Find a good lawyer and listen to him. Sounds like someone got into her ear and now you are in for a fight.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 08:32 PM
12

What state are you in? I wouldn't give up CS if she was paying me...
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 07:02 PM
2

I did collaborative for my divorce. It still cost 80k because ex used her lawyer like a therapist. The easiest way to get a divorce is to sit down at the table and work it out between the two of you then get a lawyer to draw it up and file it. can be done for a few thousand probably. Good Luck.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 03:25 PM
5

You're trying to get your validation from your wife. You have to live a life that fulfills you, it has to come from within. Your happiness comes from you living the life you want to live. You are blaming her for your unhappiness which is your issue. You have to fix yourself, you are the problem. Good Luck
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 04:35 PM
7

At 5 & 7 I would still take them to a park/playground/splash pad in the summer at least once every weekend. Go to the children's museum if your town has one. Ninja gym, trampoline park, movies etc. You literally just have to come up with one tent pole event every weekend and then just hang out the rest of the time. My kids are now 9b 9g, so we play basketball, throw baseball / softball, go to movies, play board games, Nintendo, uno etc. they are already getting to the age where they don't requir…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 03:59 PM
6

Do not under any circumstances let her or your kids know about the new woman or the baby on the way. I cannot stress this enough...
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 03:03 PM
9

Good job in putting in the work. But I have to say, she's a girl so she's just as crazy as your ex... She just hasn't shown it yet.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 02:07 PM
3

All women are mid with a few rare exceptions. Once you have abundance, you come to realize that 9s and 10s are generally a huge pain in the ass and don't really put in effort. Give me a solid 6 or 7 that does the dishes, cooks dinner, does my laundry and cleans my house and then gets on her knees on command and puts in work over a 10 who needs constant maintenance.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 02:05 PM
4

Eh, no alimony in texas... If you were in NY or Mass or somewhere in the northeast you would be screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 10:16 PM
1

yep, Expanded "expanded SPO" Thurs after school till school drop off on Monday the 1st 3rd & 5th weekends every month. Wednesday and Thursday overnights before the 2nd & 4th weekends. 6 out of 14 days. Oh, and you'll also get to pay child support, with no offset for you having additional days. A full 20% of you net take home pay after taxes.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 09:39 PM
2

Pretty much yeah... The entire northeast is setup to screw men. Mass is even worse.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 06:44 PM
2

I'd go PPO with high premiums because they take that into account when calculation child support. Less to collect from her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 06:43 PM
2

95% chance you never see a judge. nobody cares about a few thousand unless you only have a few thousand. 5k in vegas in a million dollar divorce case means nothing. It's all proportional.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 03:18 PM
3

This is the correct answer. Sporatic ATM withdrawls, cash back at the store, "vegas trips" (be sure to grab some loser betting slips)... plan ahead. The longer you plan ahead the easier it is.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 03:15 PM
2

This should give you a good general idea of what you're up against. http://www.realworlddivorce.com/NewYork
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 03:03 PM
3

"Does the court take into account living expenses and ensuring the person with the job still has enough to live on his/her own?" It's all done by a calculator, nobody cares about the monied spouse. You would be waaay better off, taking the married red pill and getting your wife into line. Once your daughter graduates HS then you can divorce her (this would be after you've regained Frame, and fixed all the things wrong with you). Good Luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 10:33 PM
2

We need to know what state you are in.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 10:29 PM
5

I'm going to assume this all happened in Alabama...
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 09:25 PM
3

If you're attractive then they do all want to f you on the DL. But, jealousy is a bad look on a guy. Shows a complete lack of frame.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 04:37 PM
12

Nothing. Go to the gym and get your mind off of her. She's a big girl and she's not your responsibility. Best case, you go over there and meddle in her life and she tells you to gtfo because going to check on her because you had a dream about her new BF is creepy as hell. It's a bad look bro.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 04:34 PM
4

If you can afford it, it never hurts to have options. But you could also, just rent a hotel for the night when needed since you obviously have the funds for it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 04:11 PM
2

I mean, i'm definitely not on her side, but anything less than 50% of marital assists to her is you screwing her in most states...
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 11:06 PM
22

Focus on how he treats you, not that he still talks to his ex wife. If you have kids with someone you are connected to them forever.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 07:46 PM
2

haha, yeah that is a clear sign. If you step back and take a look at the bigger picture its actually kind of funny how they all do the same things...
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 02:08 PM
2

If she hacked into your facebook that is a crime...
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 08:02 PM
9

Bruh, I know its hindsight, but getting you to move to where she wants was a brilliant move on her part. You walked right into that one and are now stuck there for at least 15 years... Good Luck.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 08:00 PM
1

I feel you brother. Good luck and God speed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 07:27 PM
0

Time to grow up my man. Dogs come and go, that is life. Just get a new dog and you'll be over it in a few weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 05:10 PM
10

^this but with a caveat. Be incredible supportive, nice and keep up the "just friends" thing until the final decree is signed off by a judge. Then cut her ass off and move on with your life. She's not your friend, she's someone who swore to be with you forever that kicked you to the curb because she thought she could do better than you. FTB.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 09:28 PM
1

Some are better than others, but yeah they're all girls. You aren't going to find a unicorn.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 05:30 PM
2

"Male Focused" attorney is just marketing. Find the guy who plays golf with the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 04:59 PM
6

You need to get angry and use that anger as fuel to get you across the finish line. Good Luck Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 10:00 PM
1

Yeah, it sucks, it's not fair or right and is extra brutal to men who make just under the child support cap. The schedule is actually okay, especially once they're old enough to be in after school activities and sports. I end up seeing my kids almost every day between practice, games and my possession time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 02:58 PM
2

I had fun on the apps for 2 years, lots of plates and FWBs. It takes work to sift through the trash, but it's not that bad. Been dating a girl I met on the apps for almost 2 years now. There are gems out there, you just have to put in the work to find them.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 07:42 PM
2

If you are still married and if there is no custody order either parent can take their kid(s) anywhere they want to at any time for any reason for the most part.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 09:42 PM
2

Holy shit, there are so many god damn covert contracts in this post. Lady, you need to read "No more mr. nice guy" by Dr. Robert Glover more than anyone I've ever seen on this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 07:56 PM
2

This pretty much sums it up. Get out while you can get out with little damage. She's not one in a million, she's one of a million. It's scary but cut bait and run away from this awful situation. She obviously doesn't aspire to be with you, she's looking for better and that won't change bro. Good Luck.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 03:57 PM
3

I send pics of them doing fun stuff with me. She does the same. Like this weekend I took them ice skating for their first time and sent some videos to her. At the end of the day nobody cares more about your kids than the two of you do. I want to see as many of their moments as possible and I figure she probably does too. It's been stated on the men's divorce forum for many years that the ultimate goal is to come full circle where you both have the kids best interest at heart and work together to…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 07:56 PM
10

If your in Texas do not agree to Spousal Support. It is very very rarely granted and you will already be paying 30% of your gross to her in Child Support. You can get expanded, expanded SPO just for asking which is 6/14 days bi-weekly and will be hard pressed to get 50/50. Get a Lawyer and do not agree to Alimony no matter what. Read the Texas Family code, regardless of what her or her lawyer says it's going to end up going per the code if you are anything other than a completely drug addicted S…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 07:43 PM
6

“I just want an amicable settlement “ They do this for two reasons. It gets you to relax while they put together their well orchestrated game plan. They really do want it to be amicable, but then their lawyer or their divorced friends get in their ear and promise them the world and tell them a fair deal is them getting screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 03:33 PM
7

Exact same thing for me. She was amazing for the first 10 years, ok for the next 2 and then she hit her mid 30's the kids turned 5 and she became an absolutely vile and hateful woman. It was like a light switch flipped and can't be turned off. I often tell people its like the person I married died and has been replaced by her evil twin. I'm sure a lot of guys on here have the same story. It's pretty sad, she is beautiful and in shape but at 39 and having had 2 kids she is screwed. I do well at m…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 03:22 PM
5

It's called nesting, it's a thing that some people can do successfully but they are pretty rare. The general consensus is unless you are both extremely mature and have a near perfect co-parenting relationship then it won't work out for you. I believe Adam Carolla and his ex-wife do it for their HS age kids, but they're multi-millionaires with a nanny for teenage kids and house keepers. The question you have to ask yourself is are you okay with constantly cleaning up after her forever? Are you ok…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 09:47 PM
1

At the end of the day nobody can stop him from falling on his sword. Sad to see, but you can't fix stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 07:45 PM
0

Have the assets already been divided? If they haven't I would hold off doing anything until you find out if she's terminal or not...
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 04:40 PM
6

Massachusetts sucks for men. Here's a quick summary of what you can expect. http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Massachusetts As dday said, ignore her & talk to a lawyer. Don't agree to anything or pay her anything that isn't court ordered. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 04:39 PM
2

It honestly doesn't even matter what they agree to. All she has to do is petition the state enforcement office after the divorce is finalized and request guideline support and it will happen. No judge, no motion, no hassle for her. Why would she agree to waive CS in the first place? This sounds like a fantasy.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 05:15 PM
14

Glad for you that it's over. Go live your best life brother.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 09:36 PM
3

This is a wildly specific question... Will be hilarious is someone actually has experience with this. Also, 9k/mo. wow... how long are you paying that for?
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 07:20 PM
2

Projection. If she doesn't paint you as the failure/bag guy in her mind then she would have to face the consequences of her poor decisions and take responsibility for her actions. All you can do is accept that it is what it is and evict her from your head space. Turn up your DNGAF meter. Sucks, but it sounds like your kids are approaching the age where they will be independent and you can full on ignore her. Good Luck Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 04:59 PM
18

I have a similar story, I went to vegas with the boys a month or so after she filed and had me served. I knew she was going through my stuff even though we were living in separate rooms. I and my buddies collected a bunch of discarded betting slips during march madness, I put them all in an envelope at the bottom of my backpack and headed home knowing she would go through my stuff as soon as she got a chance. At the first mediation session her lawyer started it off by lecturing me about unaccept…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 09:47 PM
1

Pork butt in the slow cooker. Easy and delish...
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/22 09:52 PM
7

I theory yeah... probably. In practice... probably not. Do women get punished for false r*pe allegations? Nobody cares that she lied unless it is so bad it pisses of the judge, even then, she might get a stern talking to at best.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/22 09:50 PM
1

You need to turn up your DGAF meter way way up. Who cares if she emails her lawyer, there is nothing they can do about it. You were busy/didn't have service/work emergency etc. no judge in the entire country or any country anywhere is going to care that you didn't call you kids on this day or that when they were with the other parent. She is trying to control you. Ignore her. The kids will be over the daily calls by the time they are 7 or 8 and it won't be a problem.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/22 09:42 PM
3

We call this the Mr. Wonderful effect... When it ends with him, she will swing all the way back and be extra awful to you. Enjoy it while it lasts.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 02:24 PM
34

Family Court Lawyers... Truly the scum of the earth.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 07:43 PM
3

I don't know what your extracurricular schedule looks like but I have my kids (both 8 B & G) 6 out of 14 days, but usually see them way more than that due to sports and other activities they are involved in. Also, once they become teenagers in a few years they will vote with their feet and the actual custody schedule won't matter as much. Not sure what state you are in, but depending on which one it is 50/50 is your hill to die on. Good Luck Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 07:41 PM
2

lol she ain't going to save a dime for college...
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 05:07 PM
1

You can't win this fight by playing dirty and talking badly about her. The only way to win is not to play. Ignore her, and demonstrate through you actions how a person should behave. Kids are smart and will figure it out. Teenage years are always rough, but even if the relationship is damaged now, if you show love and respect but still maintain discipline and boundaries your kids will appreciate it when they are older. Life is short, kids will only be kids for a small part of that, they will be …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 05:02 PM
2

All women are mid. All have the same tendencies due to evolution. There is no great white buffalo for men that have frame and realize that AWALT.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 02:23 PM
2

This sucks because status quo has already been established. You probably could have filed to block the move when it happened, but I'm afraid it's too late at this point. My decree has an injunction that keeps my ex from moving out of the area without permission or she would have definitely tried to move the kids back to her home state. You need to get advice from a lawyer, this is a very specific circumstance.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 02:17 PM
9

Glad you're feeling good today. The less you know or care about her adventures in getting cracked open and cleaned out the more great days you will have. She can get some anytime she wants with almost zero effort thanks to online dating apps (so can you, but it's more work). Talking about who or what she's doing is a road to turmoil... Ignore all that shit. Good luck Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 10:08 PM
1

What do YOU want to do? If you want to go then go. Why would you let your GF dictate what you do with your daughter? Have some Frame man...
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 04:06 PM
5

It sucks dude, but tbh you are young have a profession where you can make a good living and don't have kids with her. You're better off than 99% of the people on this sub. Just get away and start over, you will be fine. Focus on being physically, financially and emotionally fit. Get a new practice going and kick some ass. God speed brother.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 03:13 PM
1

Texas doesn't really do Alimony... It sucks for child support, but that ends at 18 so it doesn't sound like that would be an issue for you. Other than that it's a 50/50 state and only grants spousal support under very specific circumstances. This site is a good resource for all 50 states. http://www.realworlddivorce.com/
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 03:20 PM
1

Let me give you a tip to be good with money. Spend less than you make. Wait a day/month/year to make purchases depending on how much it costs. Set aside money for savings every pay check and don't touch it for anything but the most dire of emergency. (Buying a gift for your new GF isn't an emergency.) Do that and you will be on the road to being good with money.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 09:39 PM
2

You can request it in like 5 out of 50 states, but again, all she has to say is that it was spent on rent/food/utilities and there is nothing you can do about it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 07:23 PM
7

This is extremely common. My ex did the exact same thing, I even coined a phrase "every thing you say about me is what you're actually doing". Then I would list out specific examples of her doing the very things she accused me of. Guess what, it doesn't matter, she never took responsibility (still hasn't) for her actions. Gaslighting is what she's doing to you. Nothing you can do about it but ignore her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 05:20 PM
2

lol, there is zero accountability for child support. She can just say it all went to rent/food and then spend her income on a range rover. You will never be able to make her spend the money on the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 05:17 PM
23

Not your business nor your problem. You have to accept she's going to get cracked open and cleaned out. Don't worry about her, just worry about you. That's all you can control.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 03:18 PM
1

Unless she agrees to let you be the custodial parent you're going to be paying CS in Texas. Even though you have 50/50 possession you will still have to pay guideline support.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 10:57 PM
1

One of the parties makes two list, half of the stuff on one of the list and the other half on the other list. Then the person who didn't make the lists one picks which list they want. Incentive is to make two fair list because you know the other person will get first pick of which one they want.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 09:37 PM
2

operating a vehicle impaired
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 09:36 PM
13

lol "Women understand women and they hate each other." facts.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 02:54 PM
1

Go see you kid in the hospital man... Jesus guys can be so dumb sometimes, you think if you had the kid on your time and were in the hospital she would think twice about showing up? Go see your kid and ignore her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 09:30 PM
-3

You've given up frame and are no longer a leader in her eyes. You didn't actually do anything, you were just catching up with an old friend. You've let her put on the captain's hat and drive the ship. Bad move. Either take over the wheel and tell her to get over it or settle into a life of misery. You have to tell her how to feel, you can't let her navigate her own emotions.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 09:28 PM
5

This has been my experience, it's pretty easy to set up a FWB situation with attractive girls if you're in shape and have a little bit of game. All this talk about online dating is trash is just loser talk. Yeah there are a lot of garbage women out there, but it's just a numbers game. If you aren't getting the results you want it's because you aren't good enough. I was getting okay results when i first got divorced but not the level of girl I wanted. I hit the gym, lost 30lbs, added muscle, read…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 03:25 PM
1

Best you're going to get in Texas is expanded "Expanded SPO" which is 1st 3rd and 5th and an overnight on Thursday before your weekends and two week nights (mine are wed & thrus) before the 2nd and 4th weekends. Works out to 43-48% of overnights for you depending on the year and holiday schedule. Oh and you also get to pay full child support regardless of whether you have them 1 night per year or 182 overnights per year. No alimony tho which is nice. Texas child support system is absolutely horr…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 10:58 PM
2

In a nutshell, you put her on a pedestal and she lost respect for you. Too much beta behavior and not enough alpha to maintain attraction. Read the Rational Male by Rollo T.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 04:07 PM
2

we're just like you man. we read everything on this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 09:32 PM
1

The moral high ground doesn't mean shit. Nobody is going to hold her accountable long term. Don't worry about her, do what you need to do.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 02:51 PM
4

u/Gattsama people want to know what happened to the hot tub and kitchen faucet...
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 02:23 PM
6

delay the plane, pay her off and walk away into the sunset. live frugally and stack checks during your year of peace. this time next year you'll be free and have a nice nest egg.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 02:21 PM
2

Nice that you're finally done. Funny that it always can be settled pretty easily with basic math, but somehow they always involve lawyers. Due to my ex, we spent over 100k in legal fees for a simple divorce in Texas. A week after I told her lawyer i was out of money and there would be no more payments it all got resolved. Fucking scumbags.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 02:17 PM
14

Not a bad scam to generate billable hours... My dad was an attorney and is a great honest guy so as a kid I never understood all the lawyer jokes. Then I had to deal with family law lawyers and it all made sense. They are the literal scum of the earth most piece of shit humans I've ever encountered. Truly human garbage. Anyway, stop talking to her lawyer and set sail for trial.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 10:21 PM
25

Your wife walked away from her family because some guy gave her the tingles. She broke her vow to you, and then blamed YOU for her lack of character / broken vow. The guy she broke apart your family for didn't turn out to be as wonderful as she thought and dumped her and now she wants what she walked out on back. Tell that bitch to kick rocks. You're not a consolation prize. Let her figure out that the market for post wall women with kids is pretty freaking bleak. You on the other hand can clean…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 07:28 PM
1

years 10-12 here. Also, when kids are about 5 years old seems to be right in that zone as well. Mine fell into both of those categories.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 04:00 PM
1

Sounds like you have your head on straight and know what you need to do. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 03:58 PM
2

Yeah huge mistake to put her on a pedestal. You have to be above her and demand that she hold up her end of the deal. Women are programmed to get away with as much as you let them. And if you let them get away with not holding up their end of the deal then they lose respect for you. It's counter intuitive because men want to be nice and give them everything they want, but it only makes them despise us when we do. So to summarize "Yes Virginia, you do have to be an asshole." She's not on a pedest…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 03:23 PM
4

I mean, depends on how hot she was and if we'd done it before... 45 min is across town if you live in a big city...
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 02:44 PM
3

Get a side piece and be discrete. She gets first crack at your libido not sole custody of it. I wouldn't breakup the family if things are otherwise good between you. Be there for your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 07:50 PM
5

Been following you story, happy for you that the end is in sight. I'm coming up on 3 years of being officially done and let me tell you it's pretty great to be free. Finding a FWB is pretty easy, just be honest and keep your boundaries as a hard line. You don't do anything you don't want to do. They'll pester you to take them on dates, you say no. Just tell them the current contract is what you want and you aren't interested in anything more. They'll probably walk, but they usually come back. If…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 02:57 PM
1

Ignore her. She'll eventually get bored.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 09:44 PM
2

Congrats on finally getting the house listed.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 01:18 PM
4

nah, that's stooping to her level. stay above it, ignore her and model the behavior you would expect from an adult. petty bickering might feel good in the moment but leaves you both looking like shit to everyone else.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 05:31 PM
3

I had the most success with Hinge, then Bumble then Tinder in that order. It's just a numbers game. If you are in decent shape, have some confidence and know how to talk to people it's not that hard to build a roster. Just keep it positive and leave a little mystery and keep her talking about herself. I've had a GF for a year now, but I could build a pretty good rotation in a month or two if decide to end it. It's like a farm system in baseball, you always have new prospects coming in, then they…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 05:21 PM
48

I feel you on this one brother. These Mom's who tore apart families love to put on a show about what a great mom they are when in public. Causing unnecessary drama, stir up the kids emotions over nothing etc. They really are garbage people. Stay strong and continue to demonstrate emotional control. People will eventually figure it out by both of your actions. I've seen a big turn around from other parents at the school between 1st grade and 3rd grade. All the kids play sports together and I coac…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 07:18 PM
3

Have you already signed the decree? If not then it's not to late, but consult with your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 07:57 PM
2

At least she got a second job before leaving... It sucks man, but she's not yours, it was just your turn and now its over. Disney romance doesn't exist. Only dogs and children love you unconditionally.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 04:56 PM
1

What state and did the mom contest your motion for full custody?
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 03:57 PM
4

are the kids 18? if so you could be on the hook for lifetime support if they go on SSI. You need a lawyer asap.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 10:02 PM
3

The only way to do it is have here pay you rent equal to half the fair market value for the area. You split all cost associated with upkeep of the house. She'll be paying you rent with your own money CS & SS but it's better than getting zero. If you really want to have your nuts out on the table, offset your SS & CS payments with the value of 1/2 the rent so you don't have to pay taxes on it as income. This is not a good idea, but if you're going to do it at least do it right. Talk to a lawyer a…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 08:49 PM
5

No, this isn't a good idea. That being said, with the facts that you lined out it's not the worst idea in the world. I understand wanting my kids to have the same parents, you get along, both earn a good living, both take care of the kid well etc... The problem is, she could stop working after the newborn comes home and then come after you for CS. She's a girl and girls always have the right to change their mind and act completely nuts out of nowhere. So there is a chance this could work out, bu…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 07:32 PM
9

You don't have to agree to anything in mediation. The mediator leans on the weaker party to get get an agreement. Don't budge. We'll see what the judge has to say is a perfectly fine response.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 03:55 PM
6

Dude, this is now officially the most victim puke post i've ever seen on this sub. Congrats on having the new record. Let's recap: It's your parents fault you chose a bad college. (guess what nobody cares where you got your undergrad. Unless you went to Harvard absolutely nobody gives a single fuck where you got your degree. There are people that went to ASU that get hired every day. It doesn't matter.) You married down. Your wife isn't good enough for you. (You chose her) I'm getting bored so i…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 09:13 PM
2

Honestly this is true most of the time. Especially when they are playing sports and you see them pretty much every day, it's nice to give them a kiss and say see you tomorrow and then go home and relax/recharge. In the summer and winter when I don't see them every day then it's a little bit harder.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 08:31 PM
3

If things are amicable, which they are for me and my kids mom, stuff just travels back and forth. Baseball Jersey left at my house and he has a game during mom's time? I drop off jersey. We live about 5 min apart so it isn't a big deal. If you live farther apart then it requires more coordination from you to make sure they have everything they need when you drop them off. Can't find socks for the kids at my house, I tell their mom please send some socks with them all the ones at my house are gon…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 08:24 PM
5

Men's divorce specialist is just marketing. It comes down to the individual lawyer representing you. I'm sure C & C have some good attorneys and some bad ones as well. Find a men's divorce group and get rec's from those guys. Generally you either think your lawyer is an idiot who stole money from you and did nothing to help or you think he was awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 07:56 PM
3

Feeling of sadness? Dude, you're getting freedom from a retarded whack job. F that B. Go live your life and do what's best for you always. Don't let some girl tell you anything.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 07:51 PM
1

Pretty spot on advice. Take away her access to your paycheck is step 1. She's going to freak out, keep a video recorder going at all times after you're around her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 06:27 PM
3

Lol, you won't get credit for paying for your kids. That will actually work against you since status quo is you paying for everything for them. You need to get a Lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 08:54 PM
1

Why would you be paying Alimony in Texas? Just say no. It there has to be physical abuse or they have to be handicapped in order to get it in Texas.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 08:43 PM
1

Arizona or Kentucky. Also to get SS in Texas she has to be disabled or you have to have abused her. Other than that, it's only if you agree to it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 02:23 PM
1

Dude, just because they drafted up a bullshit agreement doesn't mean you have to sign it. That's their starting point, you get to respond with your own low ball offer then you guys negotiate from there. It's all a game where only the lawyers win. It sucks, but you need to lawyer up.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 01:17 PM
1

You're post makes me irrationally angry bro, this system is so fucking broken. I have no advice for you other than to be there for your kids as much as possible. Not sure where you live, but usually suburbs are cheaper than living in the city. Being close to your kids is the most important thing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 02:45 PM
2

You're not crazy. I'm in Texas too, so very familiar with the CS system here. Who is the Custodial Parent in your decree? Are you joint managing conservators? If so, what does your decree say about who is entitled to receive CS payments? She can't modify possession without a reason, and it sounds like you'd actually be the one with facts on you side. I wouldn't sweat it. If you aren't paying her and have more time with your children I wouldn't poke the bear. You are far far ahead of most other g…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 09:02 PM
7

Two years is plenty of time to claim status quo and go for full custody of oldest. What is the child support situation? What state are you in? As for a break in parenting, get a baby sitter a few nights a week if you need to go out. Although if she's a teen, she can probably just stay home by her self. Also, don't listen to your ex wife's threats. You following the custody schedule a few times per year, while otherwise having daughter full time is not even in the same universe as something that …
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 07:10 PM
1

I didn't recommend The Game as a how to guide, I agree running that game is lame. But its point about being attractive to women by displaying higher value is still totally accurate and applies to today's world. Bringing her chocolates is a huge low value move. I also recommended Models which is about being your honest and genuine self. add them together and you're off to a good start in becoming attractive.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 06:55 PM
4

lol, you need to read "The Game by neil strauss & Models by Mark Manson... Do not buy her fucking chocolates. That is creepy af, you don't even know her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 08:41 PM
1

I've never deleted any photos off my phone or computer going back to high school. It's the history of my life, good and bad. It is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 07:27 PM
4

Welcome to the anger phase. It lasts anywhere from 6 months to a year or 2. Use it brother, anger is a great motivator. Hit the gym, get better. Money, fitness, game.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 07:04 PM
1

"Texas is one of the most difficult states to win alimony in a divorce. While it is possible to win alimony or spousal support in court, it is much more likely to receive alimony through a private contract created as part of the divorce settlement." Usually it is only granted in cases of domestic violence or if one spouse is disabled. Otherwise it is assumed both spouses will support themselves. Child Support in Texas on the other hand is total bullshit. You can get 50/50 and still pay the mothe…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 01:10 PM
1

I mean, families move all the time... He moved from another state to NJ. I'm not saying be overt about it, but if you play the long game, find another reason for the move it would be beneficial.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 08:56 PM
8

I know man, I'm just messing around. He probably isn't entitled to much. However, if you just pretend that it was in a money market account for the year and 1/2 they were married the interest/appreciation is probably in the billions which would be marital property. I know it's all in a trust and they had a prenup and all that... just a funny thought.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 08:54 PM
6

I wonder if he'll get half of what she stole from Bezos? lol
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 07:31 PM
1

Move out of NJ to a state like Texas that doesn't really do alimony..
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 06:07 PM
1

It isn't very likely that a judge will give you 50/50 in Texas unless the mother agrees to it or you are very lucky and get one that is pro father (rare). What county are you in? Was the rule 11 draft signed by her? if not, then ask you're lawyer but it probably won't pull much weight.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 08:20 PM
29

You don't have kids with her? Get the fuck out. She is using you bro. You are a plow horse to her, an ATM, not an object of desire... Her kids... They already have a dad and it ain't you. They aren't your problem. This is the easiest case of walk away i've ever seen on this forum.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 09:18 PM
4

Do not accept standard possession (SPO) in Texas. You can get Expanded, Expanded SPO just by asking which works out to ~43% parenting time or (6/14 days). The conservatorship has to do with who has decision making authority. You want a join managing conservatorship. Read this: http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Texas Also read the Texas Family Code. If you read and understand it you will be just about as educated as your lawyer. Texas tends to follow the code pretty closely.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 09:11 PM
5

Freeze values at the date you filed... I would get it appraised again.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 09:07 PM
1

Its funny but a lot of the things you're stressing about can be alleviated by having a good woman in your life. My GF cooks and cleans my house when my kids aren't with me, she does some little things that I don't think about but makes it special for the kids (decorations for holidays, birthday donuts letters that spell out their names, Easter baskets etc...) It takes time to find a good girl, so in the interim hire a maid. If you have a whole week off, one or two dates shouldn't be that drainin…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 02:04 PM
2

It's the burden of being a man. You got this bro, sounds like you understand the fundamental principal... The only thing you can control is you. All the best, good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:57 PM
2

Stop with the revenge fantasy man... It leads nowhere. You aren't going to teach her a lesson, she isn't going to suddenly realize how much you've sacrificed and suffered over the years. Girl brains don't work like that. You can't make her work. chances are she'll just find another plow horse guy to support her after she has squeezed all she can out of you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 08:16 PM
9

You have oneitis for your girl. She's not yours it's just your turn. If she leaves you to be with the co-worker then take it for what it is and move on to the next one. Why even worry about it? You can't control her, you can only control you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 07:08 PM
1

"It feels like these laws are biased towards women." I'm sorry but lol... Yeah dude, that's why we're here. It's all bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 01:54 PM
2

Texas is pretty good about not letting the custodial parent relocate with the children as long as you are involved in their life. Talk to a Lawyer, but it should be pretty unlikely can can carry out that threat.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 09:20 PM
3

Dude, DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING CHILD WITH HER. Are you crazy? Get the fuck out. If you want to have kids, find a younger girl who is pleasant and have kids with her. Things never, ever, FUCKING EVER get better after you have kids. It will only amplify all the problems you currently have. Divorce her and get on with your life. You have plenty of time to have more kids.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 09:13 PM
6

My dude, you need to talk to a couple of different attorneys and get their opinion. Sounds like you can afford the 500/hr consult fee.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 09:10 PM
11

1 month for every year of the relationship is the general rule of thumb.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 09:08 PM
1

The advice you're getting on here to just leave is short sighted. Who cares how she acts. Ignore her, ignore the dogs, ignore everything. Live the life you want, create your own happiness outside of her. At 600k I'd assume she works a lot, you don't have to spend that much time with her. Just do whatever you want to do and ignore her. What is the little girl going to do? yell at you? who fucking cares just leave and go do something you want to do. If you want someone to touch you, sleep with you…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 08:40 PM
4

Eh, I dunno if she pops out some kids and he stays home to take care of them then he could be in line for 18 years of max CS. Plus he would be the primary care giver to the kids. If he plays this right, he could be set for life.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 08:35 PM
1

Dude. Endure it for a few more years. make sure you guys are saving significant amounts of money. If you can make it to 10 years you're in line for lifetime alimony in some states. Just work on your self and quit trying to get validation from her. You are in a good position here.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 08:33 PM
11

Don't give up. It gets better as they get older, and you should be able to increase your possession as they get older. I know it sucks man, but you have to think long term and play the long game. You can do this, your son is counting on you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 02:44 PM
12

You are describing a scarcity mindset. She's average bro... They're all average. Don't do it, you're ceding all power in the relationship when you sign that contract. Not on day one, but it will get eroded away over time. The only tool we have that really works is "comply or goodbye" marriage makes that a nuclear option.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 08:03 PM
11

Hang in there man. Most of us have been through what you're going through, and it does get better. I know it seems dark, but trust me, you're going to be okay. Your kids will adjust, your heart will heal, and believe it or not when you come out the other side you will be happier, have more income and a lot more sex. Just put your head down and survive then start building your self back up. This is a marathon not a sprint, work on yourself every day. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 06:03 PM
1

Do not leave. No matter what, do not leave. It's your house, if she wants out that is fine but that has nothing to do with you living in your house. She's leaving the marriage, she can leave the house. No reason for you to move out. Keep a DAR on you and running at all times & install security cameras in the house.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 01:19 PM
2

Ah, I misunderstood what you were saying. I play it a little looser than that. If it's no inconvenience to me then I'll usually offer to give the kids a ride with me to practice because I enjoy hanging out with them during drive time. But it's understood that if I don't offer to give them a ride it's on her to get them there and pick them up. I probably pick them up and drop them off during her time about 80% of the time, but it's because I want to do it, not as a favor to her. Also, builds some…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 08:46 PM
1

Maybe with a forensic accountant he can figure out how much she's actually making and if it's close maybe he can avoid SS. However I can't imagine a situation where he's not on the hook for full CS and EOW parenting.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 03:09 PM
8

Her job doesn't matter, this is a business transaction at this point. He's in a bad position, she doesn't "work" in the eyes of the court, he's gone for 4 days a week. They have an infant daughter that it seems like he cares deeply about. If he files, she's going to get major custody and CS + SS depending on the state they are in. It's a bad situation if he wants to remain a major part of his daughters life. He needs to fix himself first then worry about divorce down the line. Telling him to end…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 02:28 PM
4

Sounds like she's got you right where she wants you. This post is full of covert contracts and neediness. Stop what you're doing right now and read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover and then Models by Mark Manson. Good Luck.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 02:19 PM
2

100% agreeable and flexible is the way to go, but you need a little separation... I am always nice to my kid's mom, go out of my way to be accommodating and inclusive. That being said when we're together with the kids, my focus is on the kids, not her. It's a balancing act, I keep small talk with her short because we're not a team any more we're two parents who's goals around our kids align. I total disagree with the post above yours, I'm at every practice and game regardless of whos parenting t…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 01:39 PM
2

Eh, you can get a new dog and make more money. Good luck on your journey forward.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 06:24 PM
1

Good luck and God speed.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 06:23 PM
10

You must not have car shopped lately... New car with all the bells and whistles is probably north of $750/mo
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 03:33 PM
8

You're going to end up splitting half of the net value of the asset. If that is 1/2 of a 15k paid off truck or 1/2 of a 60k truck with a 45k loan against it the value is the same. Technically you could maybe skim a couple of thousand because the truck will depreciate when you drive it off the lot. Personally, I would wait and see where your finances shake out after the divorce is complete. Always better to have options vs. being tied into a long term loan if you get cleaned out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 03:31 PM
12

Iron Rule: Never take dating advice from a woman. Just Be attractive and don't be unattractive. Read Models by Mark Manson
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 08:35 PM
5

Bro, you need to look into fogging and negative inquiry. When she comes at you like that, you acknowledge her feelings but don't validate them. Example. Her: "You're a terrible father you never do anything right." You: "I can see how you'd feel that way." Then you walk away. Just Fog Fog Fog and sprinkle in some negative inquiry. Same example as above except you say "Why do you feel like I never do anything right?" Then when she responds with some bullshit you fog her. "Good point, I can see how…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 07:06 PM
2

Buckle up brother... If you thing the last two months were bad, you're in for a hell of a ride. Focus on yourself and then your kids in that order. Stop looking at her for validation, you have to become your own mental point of origin.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 04:03 PM
2

I have 6/14 and it's fine. She felt like she won so she settled. I still see my kids almost every day at sports games, practices, school events, etc., coach all their teams and have them 6 overnights every two weeks. It works out to around between 30-45 less over nights per year depending on even or odd year holidays & what weeks we take them in the summer. The best part is that she gets paid cap level child support for those 30-45 extra nights per year. Works out to approx. $800-$1000 per extra…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 02:51 PM
1

That is spelled out in your decree. You can always take them to a therapist of your choosing during your possession.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 08:24 PM
2

Start here: http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Texas Then read the Texas Family Code. Regardless of what anyone says Judges pretty much just follow the Texas Family Code. You will get Expanded Expanded Standard Possession Order if you ask for it which works out to around 45% custody which is pretty good. But, you still get to pay her full guideline child support. which is 20% for 1 kid, 25% for 2, 30% for 3 etc. of your net (take home) pay. It sucks. Good thing about Texas is Spousal Support isn't …
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 08:11 PM
4

How could the Judge allow this BS? What an obvious scam. I've never heard of paying a parent to watch their grandchildren. Get a new lawyer and file a motion to modify that child care should be at a facility licensed by the state.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 08:55 PM
0

Dude, i'm assuming you're a grown ass man because of the sub we're in. Stop being such a pussy. Are you serious? She doesn't "let" you? You're a man. do what you want.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 06:24 PM
1

You have to ask yourself does this girl add value to my life? If she does, is it enough to stay with her. If she doesn't or it isn't enough for what you want your life to be then get the hell out. Divorce in Texas, not Florida. With no kids it should go pretty well for you. Texas doesn't really do spousal support. Florida does.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/22 07:03 PM
2

She has rich parents. You don't. Life isn't fair.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 08:50 PM
3

Then leave. There is no prize at the end of your life for suffering through a miserable marriage with someone you hate. I get the hate, you're not the first guy who fixed themselves, their wife came around to who they wanted her to be and they realize they hate her. It's actually pretty common in the MRP. Good luck brother, the next year is going to suck but being free is amazing. Also, quit drinking every day. You're hurting yourself to spite her. That's like drinking poison and expecting the o…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 07:17 PM
2

I mean, there is no way we can answer this question. Consult with another lawyer who is known to play hardball and see if you get the same answer as from the first lawyer. Consult with a shady lawyer and see if you get the same answer. Then you'll know what your options are. Consult fees are usually around $500 which it sounds like you can afford and would be well worth the investment if it could potentially save you $2500/mo for life.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 09:02 PM
2

I get that, always a bit of a gamble to attempt to modify as a guy. I will say this, 99% chance she's bluffing to get what she wants. She wants to keep those free weekends without having to pay for childcare more than she wants to screw you over.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 07:51 PM
5

You and your ex can agree to anything and as long as you're both good with it nobody else is going to give a shit. But be aware that if you keep the same routine for a while (usually 6 months) it can be considered status quo and if she files to make it permanent then it will probably happen.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 06:09 PM
4

You need to stop everything your doing right now and go read "No more Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover. There are so many covert contracts in your story I stopped counting. This might be the neediest post I've ever read on here. There is a reason they want nothing to do with you, being needy is the most unattractive thing a guy can do. You have a long journey ahead, good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 03:02 PM
11

You owe her half the equity. If you have the money then you can buy her out. If you don't have the money then you'll have to sell it. Pretty simple.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 09:35 PM
9

Just start living the life you want to live and if she comes with you great and if she doesn't she can choose to end it. Set and enforce boundaries, and live your life on your terms. All women are pretty much the same, they act how you allow them to act and treat you the way you let them. She's going to be pissed and call you an asshole etc. ignore her. There will be a main event and she will enter your frame or she will leave. Doesn't matter to you, you're already living the life you want to li…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 09:30 PM
4

My ex called me financially abusive. My only rule was that our household would spend less than we made each month. 75% of my 175k job at the time went into a joint account and paid all the bills, 25% went into my separate account. Her income from her 85k job went into her separate account. After 12 years I had saved/invested 250k, she had $1,500 in her separate account. I couldn't believe it, but she wasn't hiding money, she spent every goddamned penny... AWALT
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/22 09:06 PM
3

Yeah, lesson learned... If you don't get 50/50 overnights then she can petition for support. It depends by state, some give you credit towards child support the closer you are to 50/50 and some like my state (Texas) you pay full support at one day shy of 50/50 and in a lot of cases even with 50/50 you still pay the full amount. Fucking sucks...
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 09:06 PM
10

I completely get where you're coming from, it makes perfect sense. But I hate to tell you this, nobody gives a shit that you have them after school. Nobody who makes decisions on these things has the time, energy or gives a fuck enough to get into the nuance of your case. Hence they look at overnights and only overnights. You got screwed by her lawyer and probably yours as well. It's an old trick, secure 183+ nights for the mom, let the dad feel like he's won because he gets to see his kids ever…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 07:12 PM
8

The amicability of your divorce is 100% up to how much of an emotional nut job your STBX is... I know people that sat down at the kitchen table and worked it out for a total of $1500, and I know people who spent 200k in lawyers to end up with a very similar agreement. Girls are emotional and dumb, it sucks...
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 01:05 PM
32

Don't say anything to her. Buy clothes for them to wear at your house in lieu of the worlds best mom shit. Remove the nail polish when they get to your house and simply say something like, let's get that off of you, boys don't wear nail polish. Don't engage with her, attention is the coin of the realm for woman, don't feed her and she'll get bored.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 09:07 PM
9

I'm just messing around. Good luck on your search.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 06:26 PM
12

Fight for your kids. Don't ever give up. For every 1 man that gets screwed by the system, 100 men screw themselves and fall on the sword out of some misplaced sense of "be the man". Being the man means being there for your kids. Keep fighting.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 06:24 PM
10

You consider switching teams? Two dads is better than one...
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 06:21 PM
3

Start Here: http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Colorado
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 03:43 PM
19

I'd do anything to stay in my kid's lives... I can't imagine a scenario where I would move hours away. Maybe if it was short-term for a life changing amount of money, otherwise no dice. Your kids are only young for a short amount of time.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 08:43 PM
6

I get how vesting works, but if there is nothing to vest then she get X% of that nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 06:40 PM
17

She gets 50% of nothing in 2020 and 23% of nothing in 2021... Seems pretty cut and dried.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 06:16 PM
3

Glad you think you're happy OP. This has red flags all over it. You are placing your happiness in the hands of someone else. RED FLAG bro. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 01:30 PM
5

Classic story, 35 is the magic number where they realize they missed out on their party years and want one last shot at the CC before being fully engulfed by the wall. You are dodging a bullet bro. run away and never look back. Good Luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 09:23 PM
2

Just guess as best you can, it's all debatable when it comes to retroactive value of real estate. Tip it 10% in your favor and you should be fine. Nobody knows your business better than you, if you're having a hard time, there is no way somebody from the outside can "prove" your numbers are wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 09:20 PM
10

That's because most of your advise is really really dumb. You think Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos didn't have a team of really really smart lawyers? No woman is going to sign away her right to half of your shit. If she does, it means she doesn't have a lawyer and its going to get thrown out by the judge anyway. Like do you really think you have some magic bullet that none of the millions of divorced men thought about? Your strategies are retarted bro... If they worked everyone would use them.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 09:01 PM
2

Ignore her, she shouldn't have a say in your life. Do what is best for you and your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 08:12 PM
4

Good for you brother, always nice to see guys get a fair outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/22 07:45 PM
12

Retire before you file. You might have to string it out a couple of years, but why not retire right now? If you're making 40k/mo in passive income and your expenses are 12k/mo you don't need to be working. Play the long game, retire now, wait two years to establish you are officially retired then file. Once you retire, you can find a hobby and/or travel in order to stay away from her as much as possible. You made it this far, what is 2 more years? You could also "buyout" the alimony with an uneq…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 08:25 PM
1

Great question, ask your lawyer. ...Or provide much more detail.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/22 09:10 PM
4

Sad for both of them...
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 06:57 PM
9

I feel you brother, in hind sight agreeing to split her child care cost was a huge mistake. You got bamboozled by her attorney (and probably yours as well). Your kids will recognize what you did to support them one day. They will see her true colors. It always happens.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 06:55 PM
12

Do not move out. Quit working OT. Cut her off from money other than to keep paying the bills/household expenses. If she wants spending money she needs to go to work full time.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 01:48 PM
5

Very sad bro... This is going to suck, but it's over. You have to focus on you and get over your oneitis. Trying to be who she wants you to be is a fools errand. She doesn't know what she wants, she is led by her emotions. Placating her is unattractive behavior. You have a lot of reading ahead of you. Start with No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Glover. Good Luck
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 01:40 PM
6

You can't help force people to let you help them or listen to them. Not everyone can be saved.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 09:47 PM
3

Great post, OP isn't going to listen though... Oh well.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 09:45 PM
19

Who cares. Doesn't matter. It's over... Hampstering about it does nothing to help you move forward. Either she banged someone else or she didn't... it doesn't change anything as far as what your action plan should be.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 09:11 PM
2

Not my experience, but I'm always open to new theories. I would say you can "hold frame" when debilitated. Frame isn't something you do, it's who you are. My dad has gone completely blind in the last few years and yet his world view hasn't changed.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 06:56 PM
3

You're not wrong, but that wasn't my point. Ignore the girl, she doesn't matter. The objective question is whether OP is someone worthy of respect. Only he can answer that question. If he is, then he will get respect because he demands it from everyone by his actions. That's my point. According to him his wife doesn't respect him so he's not holding frame... It's OPs fault, and if he doesn't fix the underlying issues that caused his wife to lose respect for him then it will just happen again wit…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 04:49 PM
1

"This woman will never respect me or my sacrifice. Time to be the man I’ve always been and love my kids unconditionally and provide and grow as a person without her." Are you someone to be respected? Seems like you're going full rambo brother. You have an opportunity to practice game on your wife even before the divorce is finalized. What you should do is have everything drawn up and ready to go, but wait to pull the trigger. Hit the gym, get hobbies, become super dad, ignore wife. Become someon…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 04:25 PM
5

Ask your lawyer...
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 03:39 PM
3

Hawaii, Mississippi, New Mexico, South Dakota, Utah and North Carolina. I wouldn't call that "lots of states" but potato, potato...
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 02:23 PM
3

Your feelings are bad and you should feel bad for having them. I know it sucks, and this advice is easier to give than to take, but you have to treat this as a business transaction now. Use the anger to fuel you in the gym, at work and to improve your life. Anger is an emotion that pushes us to take action, you can either channel it into getting back at her or improving yourself. Do future you a favor and put that action towards yourself. She sucks, don't waste any more of your life energy on he…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 02:01 PM
7

its got 20 years of collected wisdom... from guys going through the same thing as you. its a great site.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 07:25 PM
5

This is some serious victim puke... Bro, you need to take charge of your life, if you don't like how it's going then fight to change it. You can't control her or anyone else's actions, the only thing you can control is YOU.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 06:49 PM
5

I live with my ex for almost 2 years after she filed. It's not always pleasant, but manageable. I installed a bunch of camera's and wouldn't interact with her unless it was in range of the a camera (audio & video). I took the kids out of the house for activities A LOT, and basically just slept there at night in my own room with a locked door.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 06:43 PM
2

You have to manage your lawyer... I told mine in no uncertain terms, do not look at an email, do not talk on the phone or do anything regarding my case unless I review it first and give the authorization in writing. He wasn't happy about it, but I saved 10's of thousands of dollars no responding to her lawyers BS.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 01:57 PM
1

Love yourself, don't get too emotionally invested in someone else. Abundance mindset...
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 08:56 PM
1

2.5 years of casual dating / FWB until I finally promoted a plate to GF. Been together for 1.5 yrs now (dating exclusively for almost a year).
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 02:25 PM
1

Divorce finalized in Feb 2020, I got a lump sum buyout of the house and tripled it in the market during Covid. It was a lot of luck, but also just bought stocks effected by covid (airlines, travel, gambling etc.) and then sold at the right time. I still pay 2k a month in CS, but live within my means and have enough money to buy a house in cash whenever I feel like the housing market stabilizes. I have a good job, 150k/yr + 20% bonus, EXW makes around 85k. I have kids 48% of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 12:08 PM
1

wtf is the point of this?
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 08:21 PM
2

I'd cut her off from everything except the bare essentials and tell her if she wants spending money she needs to get a job... I mean seriously what are you doing man? No sex, no job, what if anything of value does she bring to your life?
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 03:56 PM
1

If you really are the one taking care of the kids, document, document document. 50/50 shared custody is the hill to die on.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 06:48 PM
3

Therapy is WOMBAT (waste of money brains and time). You need a game plan bro, she's way ahead of you and you don't have a clue what's about to happen. You need to fine a good lawyer ASAP and listen to them, but you have to manage your case. Nobody, not her, not her lawyer or even your lawyer gives one single shit about you. You have to look out for you. Good luck bro, your kids are counting on you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 06:46 PM
1

I did it during my divorce in Texas. As long as you continue to pay the bills and cover your "Status quo" of the expenses it should be fine. What are they going to do? Nothing...
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 06:39 PM
3

I'm so glad my MSA didn't cover extracurricular activities. I pay my kids mom 2k a month in tax free (to her) money. My stance from day one has been, sign them up or don't but the money I pay you is more than enough to cover little league and some summer camps. Now, my ex may be nuts and blew apart our family for no reason other than her unhappiness and having missed out on her party years, but she is a good enough mother and I know she's not going to deprive them of activities they want to part…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 06:18 PM
4

No woman knows what she wants, women are fueled by emotion. A woman's journey to happiness ends up being a road trip with no destination. That's where a man with a purpose comes into the picture.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 03:53 PM
1

would be worth it to move to a non-alimony state (Texas/AZ) etc. establish residency and then file there. the short term pain would be very much worth avoiding lifetime alimony...
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 09:08 PM
1

You can't change her, you can only change you. Establish boundaries and enforce them. If she's spending you into debt, cut her access to your pay check, cancel credit cards, run a credit check every month to verify new cards aren't being opened. You pay all bills, and then give her whatever amount you are comfortable with her spending as a transfer to the joint account. Also, read the advice from the MRP. DM if you don't know what that means.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 09:06 PM
17

I remember that day... It sucks, but your kids will be fine. Just make sure they know you love them. Breaks my heart remembering how callous she was.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 09:33 PM
5

Grateful for the good times you had together, sad it's over, excited about the future and all the possibilities now that you're free.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 08:27 PM
2

Focus on yourself and staying her best option. You can't really protect yourself, best case you lose half of your stuff and get 50/50 custody. Mostly likely depending on your state, you won't get primary custody with a child that young and will be paying child support for the next 17ish years. Read the Married Red Pill sidebar. It doesn't sound like your situation is hopeless yet... Just remember this, you can't control her, you can't change her, all you can do is establish and enforce boundarie…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 04:36 PM
1

This hits so close to home... My EW literally is following the exact same path as her mother who is also her closest friend. It's crazy... Funny thing is, her mom is in her late 60's, lives in a tiny condo alone and works in a call center having squandered all the money she got from her ex husband... It's honestly pretty sad.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 03:21 PM
0

I mean, if you tell people about it... If you're just doing it for yourself, tell nobody and kept in a secure location there is a 0% it gets subpoenaed.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 08:28 PM
1

Exercise and ZZquil...
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 08:24 PM
3

I went through it in 2019-2020 in Harris County. PM me if you want to discuss. Start here tho... http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Texas
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 08:23 PM
9

She doesn't see you as her best option... Ignore her and get your shit together. Go plan is the same as the stay plan. Hit the gym, get into a hobby you enjoy and basically build the life you want. Then if she decides to stay, great she's a part of YOUR life that YOU want and if she decides to leave you have still built the life YOU want. Go plan is the same as the stay plan. Money, Fitness, Game.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 08:19 PM
1

If you are in shape and have a bit of game, you will kill it on the apps... It's been a lot of fun... I've done things I only used to fantasize about. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 01:55 PM
1

This is a great question for a lawyer in your state... You could start here, but def talk to a lawyer. http://www.realworlddivorce.com/NewMexico
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 02:14 PM
2

The dog is just another bargaining chip, don't give it up with out getting something of equal value to you. At the end of the day, put your feelings about the dog on a shelf and leave them there. You can always get another dog...
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 02:12 PM
3

This is an easy fix. Split your paycheck between two accounts, once joint and one only you can access. Have whatever amount you think is appropriate to cover expenses and whatever you want to give her to spend go into the joint and the rest goes into the account you control. I did this from day one and it worked great. Ex would spend the joint dry every month and I was still able to save.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 08:09 PM
2

I read it as communication with the kids while they're with her through the app. That I wouldn't agree to, but communication between OP and his kids mom through a parenting app is NBD. If she has sole physical custody, then OP has bigger issues than "should he use an app".
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 06:23 PM
3

She doesn't see you as her best option... Ignore her and get your shit together. Go plan is the same as the stay plan. Hit the gym, get into a hobby you enjoy and basically build the life you want. Then if she decides to stay, great she's a part of YOUR life that YOU want and if she decides to leave you have still built the life YOU want. Go plan is the same as the stay plan. Money, Fitness, Game.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 06:18 PM
3

Probably to late now, but open a new account that only you have access to and have your pay check deposited there. Every pay day, transfer whatever amount you are comfortable being spent (but at least enough to cover bills and basic expenses plus a reasonable amount of "allowance" for her) and save/invest the remainder. Don't ask her, just do it. If she wants to spend more than what you allow, she can get a job or spend her family money.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 02:49 PM
1

Of course both parents should act like adults and act in the best interest of the kids that's not even up for debate. But, the mom acting like a child is pretty common and there is nothing he can do to control that. The only thing he can control are his actions so just use the parenting app and act like an adult. There is obviously a reason she wants to communicate through an app and I'd bet it has to do with this guy NOT acting like an adult.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/22 06:27 PM
3

Great state to get divorced in... Default 50/50 and lower CS and potentially no or very short SS.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 09:24 PM
3

Sounds like you're a good plow horse... Sprinkle in more alpha and less beta. She's in her evolutionary selfishness phase. Read Married Man Sex Life Primer...
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 09:22 PM
1

Go plan is the same as the stay plan. Move back to your home country and then start treating her like she's dead. You get a job, you focus on doing what needs to be done. Ignore her emotions, her happiness isn't your problem or responsibility. You are not her emotional tampon. Build the life you want FOR YOU. Then if she leaves, who cares? You have the life you want... If she decides to stay, great, you still have the life that you want. Either way you have to set boundaries and enforce them. Go…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 08:47 PM
9

Use the parenting app... What is the issue? If you are being reasonable and rational, why don't you want that documented? You're supposed to be the mature adult in this scenario...
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 02:04 PM
2

Bro, how much and for how long are you paying? leaving would mean you could never come back.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 04:37 PM
3

Start here: http://www.realworlddivorce.com/NewYork Then consult with a lawyer...
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 02:22 PM
5

we need to know what state you are in... this is really a question for your lawyer. The amount of detail you provided doesn't allow for even an educated guess about the answer to your question...
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 02:02 PM
1

the (m41) was pretty clearly his age and gender...
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 02:00 PM
1

Its called In Group Preference... It's a girl thing.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 01:58 PM
1

This is an excellent question you need to ask your Lawyer... Nobody here can answer this without a lot more detail.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 08:31 PM
31

Dude, just take your 1/2 of the profit on your house and move on. You are getting out incredibly lucky, I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but trust me. Imagine your situation except you have to pay 50% of your after tax take home income to her in SS and CS for the next 15 years. This is a minor setback in the grand scheme of life, you still have the ability to earn and build the life you want. Cut your losses and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 08:29 PM
4

Deposit your check into an account only you control. Implement Austerity measures, no cable tv, etc. make sitting at home all day boring af. Continue paying the bills, but if she wants spending money then she needs to get off her ass and get a job.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 08:25 PM
2

What state are you in? Makes a big Difference...
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 08:19 PM
4

Something is missing in this story... I got divorced in TX in 2019 and there are protections in place. You can get Expanded Expanded SPO simply by asking for it unless there is some unsafe reason for the kids not being with you. Also, it's a 50/50 asset division state. No judge would just give her the house and a bunch of rental houses that were marital property and give you nothing... This doesn't pass the smell test.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 08:13 PM
5

already exists... http://realworlddivorce.com/
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 08:36 PM
30

As soon as someone else wants you, she comes crawling back. Bro, you need to start steering your own ship. If you want to be with her for the sake of the kids, then that is your choice. But right now she doesn't respect you or look up to you. You need to lead and not worry about her. Live your life like she doesn't exist and be outcome independent, you do what you need to do, be super dad, and don't worry about what she thinks. If she decides to follow you then that's great, if not cut the cord …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 08:34 PM
12

A compliant and pleasant 6/7 is far better than an PITA 9/10.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 06:24 PM
1

move to a non-alimony state, live there for 6 months then pull the trigger.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 04:47 PM
6

You need to develop an abundance mindset bro. Why are you doing anything you don't want to do whole heartedly?
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 03:23 PM
2

Don't tell her anything, get a lawyer first. No Alimony in Texas unless there is document abuse or some special circumstance, you'll get Expanded Expanded Possession schedule if you ask for it. 1st, 3rd & 5th weekends, Wednesday and Thurs of the 2nd and 4th weekends. Child Support is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 02:26 PM
0

You need to become more attractive bro... Ask for what you want. Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy"
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 06:41 PM
3

Focus on yourself, make sure you get into good shape and then give dating a try, you might just be surprised at how much fun an early 40's guy with a good job and some disposable income can have. There are a lot of late 20's early 30's girls who you could travel with and enjoy life. Hard part is over with the kids being grown, now you just figure out what you want to do and who you want to do it with. No SS and no CS is a game changer, I think you'll find you're bank account will start growing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/22 10:47 PM
3

Clock stops on the length of the marriage once you file.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/22 06:49 PM
6

He means, if somebody is moving out, make it be her. Don't fall on your sword trying to please her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/22 08:31 PM
12

I was just going to give you the don't move out advice, but I was compelled to come back because you don't have any idea what's about to happen. Redirect you pay check into an account only you control, keep paying all the bills and for kids stuff. If she wants to do anything or buy anything for herself she needs to get a job and make money. Transfer at least half of the balance on your joint checking / savings into the account you created that only you control. (It needs to be at a different ban…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/22 02:32 PM
26

Do not move out. No matter what. DO NOT MOVE OUT. It's the number 1 mistake men make during a divorce. You are giving up all of your leverage if you do that. She will have everything she wants. House, kids & dogs without you, except you will continue paying the bills. If you move out, you are screwed. https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=81622
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/22 02:16 PM
1

Don't get married until you are in your late 30's at the very earliest. You have a long runway, focus on yourself, get fit, and stack chips. Whatever you bring into a marriage is usually protected as long as you don't co-mingle those assets. So if you want kids, get rich first so you have something to fall back on if she loses her mind after you have kids. Date around, spin plates, DO NOT HAVE A SCARCITY MINDSET, I don't care how great you think a girl is when you're 27, she is still 1 of a mill…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 02:11 PM
1

Took me over a year and 75k... It won't speed up unless she's reasonable. Not much you can do other than get on the trial docket and hope that forces her to settle.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 01:41 PM
10

I hope this is true, but this reads like divorced dad fanfic...
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 01:34 PM
5

Let go of trying to hold her accountable. Nobody cares and it means nothing. It's a pointless exercise and she's not going to "learn a lesson". Put your feelings aside and treat this like a business transaction. If she abused you and the prosecutor wants to file charges then that's his business. She's not your problem anymore. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 08:44 PM
7

Family Court lawyers are literally the scum of the earth.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 09:16 PM
1

Wow, this makes me sad. I'm lucky enough to be on good enough terms with ex that we both go to all the kids activities and it's usually not an issue. It helps that i'm always on the field or in the dugout coaching so we don't really interact. One thing that has helped is that I set it out to her at the very beginning, that I would never keep her from talking to or interacting with the kids when they're on my time and I expected the same from her. So it's like assured mutual destruction if one of…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 09:00 PM
2

Extra curricular expenses should be for sports, camps and the like that you both agree to. Swimsuits are clothing, and i would argue that bats and ball and the like should all be covered by CS. The actual fee for the league or activity would be what you should split.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 08:55 PM
23

It gets worse, then much, much better. Focus on yourself, be super dad when you have your kids, and work on becoming a better version of yourself. It's going to suck and be painful, but it's now a business transaction and you have to approach it as such. Separate your emotions, and don't fall on your sword trying to be nice. You can do this, we've all done it, it sucks but you will make it through. Stay strong brother, you're kids are counting on you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 09:39 PM
5

What you're feeling is caused by lack of options. You need to make yourself your own mental point of origin. Spend the first year after divorce working on yourself, get better in all aspects of your life and be super dad. If you do that, you're life will become awesome and you will feel awesome and you will meet someone better than your ex ever was. Take that anger and hurt you feel and go to the gym and lift heavy shit. That's about all you can do. These things take time and work but it gets be…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/22 08:01 PM
3

Her lawyer isn't wrong. If you two can sit down and come to a fair agreement then that is the way to go. I know a couple of people that did this, they sat down and split everything down the middle and walked away for under $1000. I also know people that spent over $200k to get divorced and it always ends up pretty much the same deal after all of that. That being said, you should consult lawyer before you sign ANYTHING at all. Talking okay, signing anything without a lawyer very bad.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/22 06:50 PM
3

Frame is basically the reality you live in... Are you living in your own reality, doing what you want and leading the family? Or are you letting her make decisions and you're following her? Frame is everything, you have to have it and keep it in order for a woman to respect you. They will constantly test you and you have to hold frame always. Read this https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 06:58 PM
15

Have it taken out of your pay check so you don't have to write a check. Other than that bro, you just have to accept it is what it is, and love your kids when you have them and be the best version of yourself you can be. Getting to a place of acceptance isn't always easy but, life is short and the length of time you will be paying child support is probably shorter. Focus on yourself and then your kids in that order. It sucks, I know your pain. Stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 04:06 PM
1

Doesn't sound like a fun time to me. Seems like you've lost frame... or maybe never had it to begin with.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 04:40 PM
4

Dude, you are entering your peak market value years. I was in a similar position a few years ago. I did okay, for the first six months in the market, but wasn't getting everything I wanted. So, I decided to get into great shape, and start living my life for me (mental point of origin). Holy sh*t what a difference that made. I went from doing okay, to spinning many plates. It was a hell of a good time, but exhausting. Eventually I found some one that really complimented my life and have been dati…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 12:54 PM
3

If you can get along as co-parents and roommates, that's the cheapest option... I guess it depends on how old your kids are, but if you can't afford a 4k retainer to get divorced and she won't work with you on an amicable split it's not a great situation. Just start working on your self and become the best version of your self that you can be. Start saving money, and start planning. File once you're ready if you truly can't take it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/22 03:57 PM
2

Be strong brother. Maybe worth it to go to a meeting and get a sponsor to hold you accountable.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 06:17 PM
1

You need to get a better job/second job. i mean 32k/yr is what i pay my EW in CS. How the hell can you live on that with two kids... I mean Chick-Fil-As in my area pay $18/hr... General construction labor makes $20-$30/hr, do you have any skills/training/education?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 02:26 PM
2

This should help you know what you're facing. http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Michigan
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 04:08 PM
1

dude, if she doesn't want to bang now, you're screwed (well actually not) once you get married and have a kid... Why would you be with someone who only wants to do it 3 x PER YEAR?!?!?!?! That is wild... Get out and find someone who is actually into you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 07:50 PM
2

I promise, this would be the best move possible. Downside is you'll probably have to live in AZ. But 50/50 custody and low CS and probably no Alimony. in texas you'll probably be paying 2k a month depending on your income to see your kids at best 42% of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 07:45 PM
1

If he's buying her out, it would behoove him to wait until the market crashes if he wants to stay in the house. lower home value equals less equity to split which would mean he would have to pay her less to still keep the house.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 06:19 PM
1

http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Indiana
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 01:16 PM
2

Read this... http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Colorado
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 09:24 PM
2

In TX you can get Expanded expanded SPO just by asking which works out to 43% / 57% custody but you still get to pay the full amount of child support. If the mother doesn't agree to 50/50 its a huge uphill battle and depends 100% on the Judge.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 06:16 PM
1

Mindset: You are the prize, every girl you go on a date with would be lucky if you choose her. Nothing is sexier to a girl than confidence... be Cocky / Funny, but always nice/agreeable. Relax and be yourself, if she doesn't like you for you then who cares? move on to the next. There is an unending pool of attractive women. Never be afraid to walk away. Do not have a scarcity mindset. Look for indicators of interest when you get 3 or 4, escalate, make physical contact, hand on the small of the b…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 03:27 PM
1

I had it at 69% chance she was 69 with someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 02:17 PM
1

That was the first thing that popped into my head when I read that sentence. My ex was exactly the same. The day I realized everything she accused me of was what she was actually doing changed my interactions with her completely.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/22 03:14 PM
2

Long game is to take as much custody as possible (only overnights count) document every day that you have them in your journal and then once you establish status quo file a motion to modify and get your CS reduced or have her pay you. Just a thought.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 08:01 PM
2

Mine did the exact same thing. Agreed to counseling and then when she got called out for her behavior during the session she refused to return. lol, the second the therapist called her out, in my mind I was like noooooo! eh, it all worked out in the end. Time to start spinning plates.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 01:56 PM
1

From his previous post this guy makes like 400k a year. I doubt he considers 20k in debt as drowning...
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 08:58 PM
6

Texas doesn't really do Spousal Support except in extreme cases mostly having to do with abuse or disability.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 05:56 PM
1

Texas doesn't really do Spousal Support except for extreme circumstances. You should get a 50/50 split of assets. Debt stays with her. This is an easy divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 03:03 PM
4

BBD = Hypergamy... They can't help it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/22 04:34 PM
4

Exactly this... Spin more plates. You are the prize, they love you, you don't care.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 02:58 PM
2

Tell her to sit down and shut up. Your kids are are the #1 priority and if she doesn't like it then she can go kick rocks. You're the Man and your role as the father of your kids supersedes any other role in your life. The fact that you didn't establish that your kids come first from the very beginning is very telling... Good luck letting your wife wear the pants.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 09:36 PM
3

It's over. Do not move out. Read "The List" https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=15642&sid=5cbd3dcc5c0b95e44d263bcc92397f23 God speed brother
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/22 03:16 PM
2

Read "The List"... ​ https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=15642&sid=5cbd3dcc5c0b95e44d263bcc92397f23
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/22 03:11 PM
1

You need to get your own place and have them sleep there. overnights are the only thing the courts care about. You need to get at least 183 overnights per year to be primary. I'm pretty sure you providing free child care for them at her house isn't doing anything to help your case. Google mens divorce forum and read the child custody board. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 08:25 PM
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