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skotman01 Archive

View 4 posts and 63 comments by skotman01 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Almost got it right. Look for a flat rate lawyer, let her find her own. She’ll find someone stupid expensive and it’ll be all out of her own pocket.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 12:03 AM
3

Re the 401k, write the date down you got served, notified etc, use that as the date for splitting the 401k, this way she doesn't get any future earnings. My ex thought she was getting 100k from my 401k, she ended up with just under 30k because she dragged the process on while I started socking away retirement for myself. The 4k/month, it's doable but probably not in your HCOL area. I pay the mortgage, child support and a small amount for bills and it comes to just under 4k a month. My salary is …
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 02:01 PM
1

Are the courts sharing your information with her/her attorney? Are there attorneys involved? For the her not spending CS on your son, let it go. Once you cut the CS check it’s not your money anymore. That will take some getting used to, it took me about 2 years.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 02:12 PM
1

Did the mom even see the money?
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 08:51 PM
5

Ok the get a lawyer bit aside…if you are to pay half the mortgage, make sure you get some equity too. I’m paying the entire mortgage because I want my kids to have someplace stable and my situation at the time didn’t lend itself to them living with me. I also get most of the equity when the house sells (once kids are out of the house). My ex doesn’t make enough to afford even 20% of the mortgage, I’m also not paying alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 10:23 PM
1

I never thought of goodwill for art! I bought a split level house a few months after it was final, big tv on the wall, dedicated office, full home automation I finally got some of my family heirlooms and need to hang those, like a sword and large brass plate.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 04:16 PM
2

I hear you brother. Divorced two years, just lost my job am probably going to have to sell my house to pay the mortgage on the kids house and move into my truck. $700/month car note is a lot easier to swallow that a $2500/month mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 11:45 PM
6

Looking back at my divorce, and I’m in the minority in here where I was the one to step out and leave, I agree with Scott’s comments, but also the bit about SAHMs listening to their girlfriends hate on their husbands, I got sucked into my friends hate on their wives. My ex agreed to stay at home when our second was born. She got hit with sever postpartum depression that I didn’t connect to a house that stayed messy, bank account stayed empty despite a 6 figure job I held down. Coming home to no …
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 12:30 PM
6

I used her mugshot as her contact photo.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 12:09 AM
13

My ex (thank god it’s ex and not stbx) has gone totally silent on me after saying she wants to remain on good terms. I did try to be nice for the kids, but after she assaulted me the gloves are off. She had this dream of being cordial enough to go to the kids events together etc. yeah that ain’t ever happening because of her. I’m going to be taking her to court for a child support reduction and contempt soon.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 01:05 PM
38

My ex slapped me while I was sitting in my rental car after dropping the kids off. Rolled up the window called the cops. Asked her BF to stay with my kids since I had a flight to catch till a friend of mine got there. Ex spent 6 hours in jail, hasn’t spoken to me since but I’ve heard she blames me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 05:44 PM
5

She’s her problem now…sit back and grab the popcorn. She’ll show her true self
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 12:02 AM
7

I don’t know if I have the downvotes to go into it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 01:42 AM
-4

Man reading this was like reading my own story…yup even down to going back.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 12:54 AM
2

I produced the last 5 to a One Drive folder shared to my attorney. They printed it all and I came in to help them organize it. Do yourself a favor and store all the discoveries in a single place, organized.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 10:32 PM
2

Same boat here…I initially said “I’m filing this way” then began to look at it, IRS wanted forms signed saying I could claim kids etc. it could cost me an extra 3k. As much as I hate my stbx, I’d rather give her and kids the money than the government. It’s a massive diff for me, going from paying 3k to getting back 8+. Even if I split it I come out ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 06:22 PM
1

Are you saying she texts outside OFW? If so, how are you handling that?
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 03:43 PM
2

I’m not. I’m getting raped with child support, and paying all the household bills until it’s all final. I’m going to discuss with my attorney and begin not paying certain bills. I have to put some pressure on her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 04:34 AM
3

I have found the master! I find that if I need the conversation to end (in any media, even in person) I ask about something she’s hiding, or something that would cause her to do something. On Friday I noticed a new phone, asked if it was my dons and if it was always that color. She had to admit she got them phones even though I’m paying for the kids phones. All the sudden it’s “I’m late to work”. Last night we were texting about the dogs and me donating money to my kids school…I asked for the ki…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 02:00 PM
3

I’m still using text messages, I have her silenced and it’s AMAZING.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 10:41 PM
1

Ha! Discovery is a joke. My ex just never turned it in.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 01:25 AM
3

Mines about $5k I think, but it’s a flat rate, while hers is by the hour and has tried charging me $2500 for a contempt order…yes her attorney tried charging me…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 01:22 PM
1

The only way to win at the game is to not play. I’ve started doing my best to only communicate with her via written media, and when I have to talk on the phone, it’s recorded, when in person, also recorded. All without her knowing. Before I moved out she put a bug in my room. If you want info on how to record iPhone calls let me know. It costs $60/year but we all worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 07:15 PM
1

My STBX is doing similar, but she’s talking shit about me to adults in front of the kids and planning things for the kids on my time with them so I get to be the bad guy and say no you can’t go to so and so’s party.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 03:36 PM
1

I just had this issue this weekend. I held firm and kids have had a blast despite what ever crap she’s telling them. My daughter claiming separation anxiety then her asking to go off alone in the water park, my son finds a friend and they ran off. Stbx is about to get a vocab lesson in parental alienation syndrome.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 08:24 PM
9

Did we marry the same person?
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 11:43 PM
1

My stbx and I were on the way back from Home Depot when the sheriff showed up at the house. Son called me, handed the phone to the deputy who met me half way. That was a long awkward ride back to the house.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 11:08 AM
1

I would love 50/50 physical but me working 2 states away precludes it. She doesn’t work, so I’m going to end up paying insurance etc on the kids. I don’t mind as I’ve got really good insurance. The temp order has me paying just over 3k/month in child support too, plus all the bills.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 03:04 AM
4

You’d think, but she’s sticking it all on credit cards and will probably file bankruptcy when it’s done. She has no concept of money
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 01:05 AM
3

I wasn’t really living there in the first place. I was gone for a week at a time for work. Custody goals are 50/50 legal with every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer. Although if she continues this, I’ll sell the house and go for full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 01:04 AM
2

Thankfully my lawyer is a flare rate…she has to pay hers though.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 01:01 AM
2

Don’t expect Shutterfly or any of those image printing companies to keep that data forever. Better to put it in OneDrive/Dropbox etc.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 02:02 PM
1

I’m down in Newnan. We gave our discovery to my stbx 32 days ago and they haven’t done anything with it
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 02:00 AM
1

Moved from a 3000sqft 5bd/2bth that I built in 2020, to my crash pad in ATL…so basically homeless
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 01:38 AM
1

I like 1Password myself. But I too work in cyber security…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 10:45 PM
2

100% use a password manager, just not last pass. https://blog.lastpass.com/2023/03/security-incident-update-recommended-actions/ They have experienced multiple major breaches
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 02:17 PM
1

Be careful with that. I tried that route and my stbxw is living rent free, job free while getting 4 figure child support and all the bills paid. It’s always a fight when I tell her no to more money. Granted I didn’t go about things the right way in the split but I had to leave for my own sanity.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 10:04 AM
1

Gotcha. Make sure those recordings are stored in multiple places, and can’t be deleted.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 11:39 AM
1

Why recorded conversations?
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 11:22 AM
1

I deleted Facebook in June of 2021 and the only thing I miss is the market place. I have Instagram but refuse to post and ex doesn’t post anything there surprisingly. Oh and Reddit bc…well I kinda like you guys.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 08:30 PM
2

How was it figured out? Was it a lump sum you had to pay down?
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 05:39 PM
2

For anyone seeing this in the future…google image search any image you are sent. It will likely get a hit, if so, it’s likely a scam
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 05:19 PM
1

I’m still in the process. Thankfully the stbx seems to not be willing to use the kids as a bargaining chip. The Temp Order allows me to see them when ever I want.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 09:33 PM
3

Remember there is physical custody and legal custody. At a minimum you want 50/50 legal. If you and her can work out a 50/50 schedule that’s good for the kids that’s even better. In my case I’m getting 50/50 legal and she’s getting physical with me visitation/weeks in summer etc. I’m the one that wants out, and I work out of town. So 50/50 physical doesn’t make sense for me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 08:38 PM
2

I think there is one already. Do a quick search…I think there is a WhatsApp group too. I prob need to join one of them myself.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 11:04 PM
4

I’d be suspicious, I’d also be responding to new numbers with “new phone who dis?”
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 08:43 PM
1

Same…frustrating lots currently.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 01:27 AM
1

Even before I left my STBX I had gotten on Zoloft, and it delayed things finishing. Now that I’ve left, I’m on even more zoloft and it’s gotten a bit better, but my go to vice of adult entertainment still doesn’t do much for me. Mention it to your doctor. Stress can be a hell of a thing too
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 12:32 AM
1

Seriously ping me if you need/want. I have a similar story that bc I’m in the same spot your in don’t want to put it out there publicaly
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 07:05 PM
1

It’s me…except I told my STBXW I wanted out and she filed. I moved to the front bedroom. Eventually got a lawyer when hers served me and asked for everything. If you need an ear feel free to ping me here. No judgement, I basically am doing the same as you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 06:58 PM
2

This. Thanks for the reminder I need to bring my nest cam back to the marital home while I stay in the front bedroom when not out of town for work.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 12:49 AM
1

Exactly! I mean I get that I was the one stepped out, it’s definitely more complicated then that though.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 03:54 AM
7

I totally agree, but does that feeling get easier and how quickly?
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 03:48 AM
1

I haven’t gotten that far yet. I’d love to give her 50% of the equity today since we just built it and only have like 30k in equity right now.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 05:19 AM
1

I’m just getting into that process now (if I’m ever served but that’s a diff topic). I plan to include the mortgage payment as part of her support, I’ll retain 50% owner ship and both have to decide to sell the house. It’s on some land that is next to my family, so I have a vested interest in keeping it, plus the kids love it there
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 04:42 AM
1

Hmm she prob hasn’t actually filed then
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 06:06 AM
1

Thanks. That’s kinda what I was thinking too. We have some assets and 2 kids. I’ll prob run down to the court house and ask this week.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 04:27 AM
1

Thanks. MS has a 60day waiting period. I edited my original post bc I meant how long to be served.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 02:57 AM
4

If you can move the bed downstairs. I did the air mattress thing…it broke me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/22 02:50 PM
1

Not sure bc I’m 12 years to late
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 01:37 AM
6

Write down what you want in a partner. Do this every so often. When you find someone you think you’d like to partner with, go look at what you wrote, ask them to write same and see if they line up. Give them yours after the fact too. It’s not perfect, I did my first one 12 years to late.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 12:17 PM
1

Have your partner do the same and swap them. I wrote mine 12 years to late.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 07:20 AM
1

I haven’t even read past the first 5 or so lines (I’m on mobile) and geez. It’ll get better. On a side note, remove any identifying information from your post. I’d hate to see you have an additional problem of identity theft, especially now in the current state of cyberspace with the Russians doing their thing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 12:56 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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