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View 2 posts and 214 comments by ragingredditir on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
24

ragingredditir/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 01:17 AM
21

ragingredditir/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:46 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

This sounds like BPD. R/BPDlovedones is a good resource
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 09:48 PM
3

Exactly. I haven’t been an IT Professional but can also find out peoples address, house value, etc. All you have to do is google their name. It isn’t hard. Domestic violence charges also don’t carry the weight that they used too. I feel like half the men in this sub have a domestic violence charge because they raised their voice 1 times and an opportunistic soon to be ex felt threatened.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 11:15 PM
5

Dude how could you even consider saying no to this???? I’d go in a heartbeat. Go through the technicalities of mingling with coworkers to the minimum extent necessary and then get the fuck off the resort and go live it up and celebrate being a bachelor
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 08:52 PM
1

I have pics on old computers. Photo albums I put in my parent’s attic. I deleted social media years before we split. If I ever get back on Facebook or instagram id just start a fresh profile
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 02:08 AM
1

You should write fortune cookies
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 10:22 PM
1

Yes, it’s true. Tall men have it easier than shorter men. Good looking have it easier than ugly Rich have it easier than poor Confident men have it easier than insecure Interesting have it easier than boring Funny have it easier than serious Free men have it easier than those with baggage The fact is, height is just one factor. And one that is way less important to an older woman. When you’re in high school or your early twenties height matters a lot more. But by the time you’re old enough to be…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 04:17 AM
10

Your height isn’t the issue. Your issue(s) are: A: Being afraid to be alone B: Lacking a sense of self and solid self image (call yourself fit and successful in one paragraph and a loser in the next) C: Spiraling thoughts. Linking together traumas that belong in different compartments I think you have some genuine issues. You can take the easy way out and embrace the victim mentality (they won’t like me cause I’m short) or you can tackle the issues and be the best version of yourself you can be.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 01:22 PM
8

You got it
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 12:16 AM
4

Look into F3 Nation as a good place to make friends. It’s a free mens workout group that has helped a lot of people like you (and me) find quality friends in new cities
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 09:48 PM
2

Can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube once it’s out
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 06:18 PM
3

Where do you live? There’s gotta be some kind of other option. Maybe a mud hut or a teepee?
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 10:14 AM
9

Yeah but where does mental stability and peace of mind fit in?? Finances don’t have to kill you. I live in an RV and love it. Money comes and goes but being haunted by the memories of conversations like the one you described are forever
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 11:40 PM
1

This hits so hard but trust me it will get better, don’t give up
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 02:20 AM
2

My crockpot is my best friend
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 11:45 PM
3

I’m from eastern USA she is from western Canada. You loved the outdoors BEFORE you met your ex and you can love them after as well. Being alone in nature heals the soul for many of us
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 01:58 PM
5

Def is a rarity to meet someone here. My friends basically told me goodbye when I left to meet her. They were convinced my kidneys were about to be sold on the black market.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 01:55 PM
17

The camping subreddit. I’ve always loved camping, hiking and the outdoors. After the divorce I moved into an RV full time and was using that camping subreddit to plan future adventures. She posted pics of herself camping in the mountains. I started a conversation with her that just never ended. Turns out we were both same age (mid thirties) and both were relatively fresh out of 10+ year relationships. After 6 months of being pen pals I ended up meeting her to go backpacking in the Rocky Mountain…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 05:12 AM
10

I met my current gf right here on Reddit lol
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 02:27 AM
2

It’s okay to need this time to just exist and we have all been there. Allow yourself that time to just survive and get through each day. Especially right now, this is a tough time of the year. Be kind to your body. But give yourself a deadline and give yourself goals. You can’t get too comfortable and get stuck there.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 01:53 AM
1

No, you need to not share a roof
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:37 PM
1

I divorced in SC without a lawyer and it sounds possible for you too. Your kids are grown so no child support. She makes more, so it’s up to you if there’s gonna be a fight for alimony. If you two separate for a year you can literally just walk into a courthouse and tell they judge you both want to divorce due to one year of continuous separation and it’s done. You have to agree on everything though. Most couples can’t do that. Usually because someone got burned or betrayed. Your case sounds mor…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 12:12 PM
1

Alternatively, I recommend meth. It will keep you awake. Sleeping is the number 1 cause of nightmares.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 02:32 PM
4

I made a burner email to send myself notes for the same reason
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 02:46 PM
5

“I’m smarter this time around”
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 02:45 PM
1

Interestingly enough, I’ve fallen for the first non-American woman I’ve ever been close too. I don’t have to cross any oceans, but she’s still 2000 miles away
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 02:37 AM
1

You’re only option is the one you will kike the least. Be alone. Your wife will hate that you slept around and fell in love with someone else. ON TOP of all the problems that causes you to separate to begin with. The new woman won’t ever trust you when she finds out how much you’ve already hid from her. Reality will set in and as you suggested- she’ll bail once it gets too real. Neither of them are options anymore. Be single- ACTUALLy single (no hookups and dating) and learn how to self satisfy …
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 08:52 AM
5

Glad to help! This is a great community here
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 11:39 AM
3

This is the way. Anyone who admits trust issues, claims an abusive ex, self esteem and body issues, and can’t be alone (not even divorced and already wants a committed relationship after one date) needs extensive therapy before trying to date again
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 11:38 AM
24

You can’t rely on one woman for everything. You need to mostly fulfill your own needs from within and have some friends to bridge the gaps. You wanted a hot trophy wife, who would pass on good genetics to children, who makes good money and can show off your idea of the American Dream. She pays for her own stuff, cooks and cleans. She is also a stellar mom. She is giving you what you want. I’d take it and be happy. It sounds like you’re an idiot if you leave… She’s always frustrated, irritable an…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 11:30 AM
1

The goal is to hopefully help someone. I know I had ideal circumstances. My worry is that some men, with the same circumstances, drop several thousand dollars on lawyers because they feel it is the only way. I took a huge gamble not getting a lawyer. For most it prob isn’t smart, but in my case it seemed to work. I wanted to let others know it’s at least possible if they are thinking about taking the same route. I had little guidance when I researched this subreddit
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 11:47 PM
2

More or less. We were together since we were teenagers, so neither of us had anything when the relationship started. We sold the house and split the equity 50-50.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 11:40 PM
2

I’d say save it for the under the table negotiations. “We can do this amicably and tell our friends and family we separated for irreconcilable differences. Or, you can decide to drag this out and everyone can know the truth. Which do you prefer?”
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 11:44 PM
26

I don’t think you’re an outlier. Your theme of doing everything for a woman who took you for granted is pretty common
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 02:11 AM
3

I’m guessing his mom
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 11:09 PM
7

When you can’t talk to her, just pray for her. Forgive yourself for your mistakes by learning from them. Make the best of the life you have and know there is a path forward, even if that’s not clear now. With enough time things will start to come into focus
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 10:49 AM
2

“Hey Doc, the strained penis priapism guy is back again.”
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 03:25 PM
1

“If there is a chance to save the relationship…” IF there is a chance, it is not going to happen in simp mode. Flying to Europe, confronting the AP- calling him the piece of shit he is. Airing her dirty laundry/secrets/exposing her and doing everything to end their honeymoon phase immediately would be a good start. Making AP’s life hell to the extent legally possible Moving forward in the relationship the dynamic would have to be TOTALLY different. It would have to be the “you fucked up- if this…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 01:04 PM
7

They will never have trust. Right now they’re playing each others savior while they make their respective ex’s the villains. Once the dust settles they will only be left with each other which will be miserable company
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 03:39 PM
14

Prob went there to meet up with the guy she’s been talking to for the past year
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 03:35 PM
4

I’ve taken more guys trips in the last year than I have in the previous ten (I’m in Vegas now) I go to sleep, wake up and eat whenever I want and however I want. I talk to whoever I want and spend my time however I want. I work as long and as hard as I want too with no grief. I only have to do my own laundry and only have to clean up after myself. I also can spend my own money on me. I met an amazing woman and we have great conversations and fun adventures. When we’re together we’ll have more se…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 03:54 PM
8

The first time she hit you with the “I love you but I’m not in love with you” she already had one foot on the next branch. Whoever that guy was bailed on her and when that branch broke she hopped back onto yours to do “couples counseling” while she looked for other branches
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 06:50 PM
3

Hell yeah man. Stoked for you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 10:39 PM
1

The fact that you’re admitting your scared and finding a community for support (Reddit) is all I need to know. You’re gonna be fine. Here are some things that helped me at the beginning: 1) audio books to fall asleep too 2) motivation app, programmed to make me wake up to an inspirational quote 3) google F3 nation and find a workout group near you 4) order of man iron council is a good resource 5) learn a new hobby
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 12:40 AM
3

Eh, I’ll caution you there. A few months after my separation I happened to be living in a new city for a month. I decided to go to a strip club thinking it would be awesome to see other chicks naked. It was depressing as fuck. Made me feel sick the next day. I’d been to strip clubs several times before and always had a good time. Strip clubs are fun for bachelor parties or just hanging out with degenerate friends goofing off. Basically, you have to be in the right mindset to have an enjoyable ex…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 12:17 AM
10

I think that bringing a lawyer into things might only help the narrative that OP is the bad guy. Alternatively, OP could just keep doing what he is doing. Show up to the parties, coach the teams and be the best/most involved dad he can be. Highlite what a good dad he is on his Facebook page. Give speeches or lead prayers at the birthday parties where you can publicly display how proud he is of his kids. Let the false narrative fall apart.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 11:17 AM
30

Our world and society has changed and a lot of it is to our detriment. I recommend staying OFF tinder and similar websites. Focus on you and finding your inner peace. Serenity comes from within and learn what it takes to keep your own cup full. I’ve found out how much I under valued the male friendships in my life. I’ve been amazed with how many long lost buddies were still there for me when I needed them. I’ve been separated for over a year now and haven’t put in any effort into finding a relat…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 12:46 AM
8

Yeah this is above reddits pay grade
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 05:58 PM
2

It sounds like your sister needs you in the house more than the kids need to be sheltered. Finding out a loved one has cancer is when you move into their house, not out
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 04:26 PM
1

My divorce has been amazing. No kids. Similar incomes. We sold the house and split the assets. She bought a condo, I bought an RV. We’ve gotten along just fine through separation and will be officially in less than 2 months
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 10:37 PM
4

Don’t be a hell of a man for someone else. Be a hell of a man for you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 01:09 AM
1

Declutter and simplify
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 01:43 AM
3

Look into F3 nation. That will solve points 2 and 3 for you
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 11:33 PM
2

The insecurity, jealousy, explosive anger, controlling behavior, eggshells and cheating are all characteristics of BPD. It might be worth looking into it if you are not familiar. You have both mentally exited the marriage at various points and likely staying with each other because of codependency or convenience. I’d recommend reading the book “too good to leave, too bad to stay” for perspectives on relationship ambivalence
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/23 02:12 PM
3

Everyone changes as they age. It is my opinion that women change more drastically than men. As they change so do their needs. They are often not great at communicating these changes in needs (potentially because they know fulfilling them may be impossible for their current husband). Once the husband fails to read their mind and guess the new needs it’s obviously the husbands fault for not caring. They start looking for a new guy they can communicate with better because he’s fresh and unbiased to…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 12:51 PM
8

Anyone dumb enough to brag about this on Reddit isn’t smart enough to pull it off
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 09:56 PM
5

In most states if you divorce before the kid is 18 your legally on the hook for college. Wait it out until the kid turns 18. The money you save in lawyer fees (less complicated without worrying about child support and custody) will be worth it
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 07:08 PM
16

Unfortunately heartless_monk gets it
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 09:23 PM
7

Try getting new hobbies. You sound bored and it’s likely to do with how you’re managing yourself, rather than your marriage. Appreciate the fact that you have peace and a partner who doesn’t control you and stays loyal to you
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 08:53 PM
15

It happens. Losing friends? Isolation? Sick feelings from emotional abuse? A shell of your former self? Ignoring warning signs? A woman who tries to mask abusive traits with physical intimacy… Those are all signs you may have been in a BPD relationship. Was she always depressed by any chance? Were you her “hero” who would always save the day?
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 02:42 PM
2

This post made me laughs bit. A woman you’re hooking up with is called a FWB A woman that you’re exclusively hooking up with is a GF A woman you plan on staying exclusive with forever is a wife. You’re making this woman your gf based on rule number 2.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 07:27 PM
5

Don’t be okay with being a backup plan. Keep improving, leave her behind and push forward
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 11:59 PM
2

Damn. The part about having notes in your phone to build yourself back up hits home. I did the exact same thing
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 11:01 AM
7

Depending on your daughters age, good on you for protecting her. If she was an adolescent and already knows what sex is then I would have just been honest though. My phone call with the ex prob would have been more like “thanks for sharing that pic with me. I took a screenshot and now I have it in my back pocket. I could send it or post it where ever I want. If you don’t like that, stop being so reckless. click “
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 12:08 PM
3

This is more accurate. You need to give them love and be a good man. Most of us did that though. The second part is to never stop improving or prioritizing your own needs and happiness. Never stop communicating your needs. Never lose your backbone or sense of self to appease them. Don’t fail any shit tests. That’s where most of us fucked up
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 10:15 PM
3

Disagree. Money might reel them in, but money alone won’t keep them in the nest
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 09:28 PM
5

“Love and respect” is one of the best books on marriage I ever read. It’s based on Christianity, but it’s morals hold true for anyone. Women need love. Men need to feel respected. As I read it (while trying to save my marriage) I realized that respect is like water for a man’s attitude towards his marriage. I felt like I was out in the desert. That’s a bad place to be.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 06:50 PM
1

I’m in a unique spot. My ex and I were friends for years before we started dating. We were a couple 14 years. No kids, so no child support. No alimony. No cheating. Amicable/mutual split. It became easy to go back to being friends. There’s a lot to love about her but she wore me out. Controlling behavior, meltdowns, anxiety, depression, never having enough, unnecessary drama, etc. I’ll always love her to an extent but find it much more enjoyable to love her from a distance while I can actually l…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 02:57 AM
3

Add order of man iron council and the f3 workout group to that list
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 08:15 PM
7

It’s amazing how much just having a solid female friendship can heal the soul. It doesn’t even have to be dating
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 08:14 PM
8

You nailed it. My ex begged me to be “more transparent” but at times it was tough to talk to her about anything deeper than the surface due to everything you just described
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 04:15 PM
9

😂
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 09:45 PM
6

The idea of online dating is intriguing because at least you know the women are single (allegedly) and at the very least are interested in being approached. At a bar or out in public you always have to wonder if there’s a boyfriend around the corner who’s gonna want to kick your ass for saying hi I still like the idea of avoid online dating…rather have something organic forming due to mutual hobbies, interests or friends.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 12:57 PM
7

My initial ring was like $500 and then I returned it for a $20 Amazon prior to getting married. The Amazon one was much nicer and more my style. Rings are a scam
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 02:10 AM
7

You’re welcome. If you’re in the USA, the military could be a good option for you. You’ll have a steady pay check, your daughter will have health insurance, you can learn a marketable trade and you’ll be around plenty of other 20 something year old divorced dads so you won’t be lonely
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 07:46 PM
20

This is so sad to read for so many reasons. It should be illegal for you to even be married at 19. You’re way to young. 1) she’s on dating apps, abandoning the father of her newborn. Grant her the divorce and end that mistake now. The longer you wait the harder it will be. I don’t see any alternate reality where this relationship works out and you both die of old age happily by each others side 2) Don’t let her guilt you over porn. There’s plenty of reasons to cut it out of your life (it builds …
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 07:30 PM
5

I found a lot of resources on bpdlovedones subreddit. The pushing/shoving, unfounded accusations, dramatic anger, jealousy, etc, are all characteristics of borderline personality disorder.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 11:44 PM
5

To play devils advocate there are also some clear indications for NOT crazy… Does she have her own hobbies? Does she value independence? Does she have long term friendships, with women? (Not the typical “all my best friends are guys) Does she make her own money and budget well? Does she have a good relationship with her family? Is she educated? Does she value opportunities to grow? Can she say good things about her ex-lovers? Can she self soothe and cope with stress in healthy ways (not a drinke…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 10:41 AM
15

Do not fall for her BS about changing
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 12:08 AM
1

My ex came from a cluster B family and her rage could get so bad and irrational I knew it wasn’t normal. I stumbled upon a BPD explanation searching for answers. She was never diagnosed (that I’m aware of)
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 10:36 PM
–

Very true. You don’t leave to get closer together.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 01:04 AM
2

Stay busy… work a lot and focus on your career, make plans, take care of yourself. Sleep well, eat well. Stay away from drugs, drinking and porn. Hit the gym. If you don’t have much of a social network start building one up. Order of man-iron council and F3 nation are good places to start. A combat sport like Jiu Jitsu or boxing is great for both confidence and friends. Start making female friends as well. Read the books. No more Mr nice guy and the rational male are both good ones. Take up a ho…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 12:50 PM
1

Guess I’m going to church this Sunday
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 10:39 AM
97

I agree with your take. She had illusions she was missing out on something which is why she got on tinder to see what was out there. Now she has had a taste of the real world and found out that: 1) Mr wonderful isn’t wonderful 2) Tinder life sucks 3) Raising a kid solo is exhausting 4) Having to work and pay your own bills can be soul crushing Well she found out what she was missing out on. Stupid people win stupid prizes. I’d let her keep her trophy.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 02:44 PM
7

DO NOT HAVE KIDS WITH THIS WOMAN!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 01:45 AM
2

Sounds like you fucked up by not preparing. My split ended up being as amicable as it gets. I still had all important documents (passport, ss card, etc) $1000 in cash and a bag with clothes packed and hidden away so if I needed to disappear real quick I was ready to go. You needing to borrow money for gas shows you’re already playing catch up. Don’t let her get any further ahead
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 09:33 PM
13

I saw it as a starting over point. I have no kids and now no reason to stay in this town. I bought a 5th wheel RV and have been living in that to avoid planting roots anywhere. If I never get married again and never have kids I’ll continue to live in an RV. I’ve honestly really enjoyed it
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 06:14 PM
9

Well, admitting the problem is the first step and I congratulate you on that. If she needs help with your son, he can get a job and pay her rent. He’s been an adult for 6 years, stop enabling him. Making him man up and take care of himself will not make him resent you. Running yourself ragged until you kill yourself and leave him fatherless would be way worse. You think you’re protecting him but you aren’t. You’re setting a bad example for him but showing him that it is a man’s job to beckon to …
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 12:11 AM
–

Love all the different answers and perspectives here. I never get lonely cause I’m always busy and generally enjoy my own company. I also have many hobbies that can be enjoyed alone…reading, running, playing music, riding my motorcycle, shooting. For the most part I’m around people though. I don’t work from home and all day I’m around different people. When I do get time to myself, I tend to enjoy it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 09:39 PM
7

Breaking it down like that makes it easier to digest
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 02:38 PM
17

If she makes 40K more you should go for alimony
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 12:01 PM
15

Called her bluff and now she has to live with it
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 11:04 PM
1

Agreed. One of the situations it actually is worth it to just be the bigger person
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 04:43 PM
8

Lookin forward to seeing them on the bleeding out tour
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 04:23 PM
2

There’s a book called “to good to leave, to bad to stay” that I found helpful with answering this question
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 07:55 PM
5

Big changes can cause lots of re-evaluations It seems like shortly after getting married, shortly after buying the dream home and shortly after having the kid are all ironically times of high divorce. People respond to changes in different ways and it isn’t always compatible. Also, sometimes putting a ring on a finger or buying a new home can bring optimism of good change. When it falls short, moods get bitter
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 12:18 AM
26

“She has suffered immensely” =wounded woman “I was crushed and felt like I would never love again” =insecurity “Keep looking for your someone, you’ll find them” = not okay with being alone “Both going through divorce” =vulnerable Needless to say, I agree there are a ton of red flags in your post. I don’t want to discourage you, but rather protect you. Enjoy your newfound happiness, but tread slowly so that it is sustainable
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 11:05 PM
3

This is the second post I’ve seen like this and my mind is blown. Seriously, who the f*ck cares. On both ends. You’re willing to “date” this chick. That has the the end goal of having sex with her. If I’m going to open up enough to someone to risk having a baby, STD or sexual assault allegation thrown against me…. Do I really care if they know how much my house cost? And why do you care if they think it’s a double standard. If you want to buy a background check, do it. Honestly if it catches the…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 11:04 PM
12

Some divorced guys are so desperate for love they are one good blow job away from proposing all over again. Casual encounters could be very risky until you’ve taken the time to figure out who you are in “the new normal”
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 02:31 PM
4

Def do not confront. You have all of the leverage. Think of this is a war and you have the element of surprise. If you handle this right you can move in, win swiftly, with minimal casualties.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 12:59 PM
4

You were children when you started dating and she doesn’t want to miss out on going wild while she’s still in her twenties. She already has a wedding ring and a kid so you’ve lost all your leverage. She will disrespect you, abuse you, cheat on you and manipulate you as long as you let her now. Only move you really have is to divorce her, accept that it will suck and be expensive. The good news is you still have 40 years to rebuild your life before it’s time to retire.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 04:17 PM
2

1) Yes, you will find love again. The first love you need to find is love for yourself. That will be all you need. A partner can come later, if you so choose, as long as they fit your needs and don’t disrupt your peace. You have already been married and already had kids. You have all the leverage now. NEVER alter yourself for a woman. Be the best version of yourself, know who you are, communicate it effectively and you won’t have to worry about finding external love. 2) If you lose your job you’…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 12:19 AM
1

Oh man, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this OP. For her to just up and leave without taking anything screams “guilt” to me. My guess is that she seriously loves you and her kids. She prob got caught up in an impulsive/stupid decision and realizes she can’t live with what she’s done. Good luck to you as you move forward. Take care of yourself and your kids. Find support whenever you can.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 09:40 PM
3

Thank you so much for your post, I needed to read it. I lived out an identical marriage. The panic attacks were common, the irrational out of nowhere arguments were always a possibility. I didn’t tolerate the screaming and cursing and would hold that boundary by walking away. She would block doors, follow me, push me or grab me to stop me from leaving, take my phone/keys/wallet or whatever else she could do. The ONLY difference between you and I is that once I got to that point I was leaving no …
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 01:14 PM
8

How were we married to the same woman?
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 01:47 AM
1

Which men’s group?
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 11:53 PM
5

It all depends. In my case, everything stayed very amicable. I think a lot of it is because I have most of the leverage and could have made her life suck if she wanted to go that route.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 01:15 AM
3

Okay, you aren’t crazy. It sounds like she is good looking, has a professional job with high earning potential, looks out for her family and enjoys healthy hobbies. She’s been married and engaged so she values long term relationships rather than sleeping around. If you do want a kid, that is the type of woman you want to go for. Unfortunately, right now she seems interested in you, but is likely more interested in a sperm donor while she is still fertile. Once you get her pregnant she’ll worry a…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 02:50 AM
5

Relationships can be great because it’s a partnership. Someone to help split expenses with, share chores, ease the burdens of life and be there when you need them. Not to mention sex is obviously non existent for someone 4 hours away. BUT they’re still there to get pissed off at you on zoom 😜 To me it sounds like all the headache of a relationship without the reward, but to each their own I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 09:38 PM
8

Relationships require proximity. I can understand long distance for the short term if everything else is perfect. I wouldn’t do long distance. I DEF wouldn’t date a coworker. Op violated both of my rules!!
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 07:07 PM
5

Exactly. Does OP actually have boundaries or is he just saying he does?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 07:03 PM
10

The divorce experience varies widely due to circumstances. If you’re a high earner, married 10+ years, to a stay at home mom who is divorcing you because you betrayed her and she is out for vengeance… buckle up. If you’re married to a woman who works, earns comparable pay, no kids, and you’re divorcing amicably because the marriage is something you both agree is no longer serving your best interests… then it is basically just a break up with court fees. Most people here fall in category one beca…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 02:41 PM
3

Now you can give yourself permission to let go
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 10:05 PM
2

Lots of respect for you man. Especially that you’re counting your blessings and prioritizing your kids. Waiting years to introduce them to your new woman is a good reflection on you
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 05:40 PM
2

Sitting naked in a bean bag chair eating Doritos
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 09:22 PM
6

It’s easy to be confident in our comfort zones. That’s why so many people never leave!! A lot of overweight depressed men will just stay home alone with porn and video games. That self isolation is a comfortable existence, but isn’t much of an existence at all. You’re pushing boundaries. You’re getting out there, trying new things and attempting to be social. You’re still the same “rock” you always were, but now you’re adding a vulnerable side. It’s something to be proud of. Don’t stop going to …
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 04:47 PM
2

It was prob a three way call the wife was silently listening in on.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 11:27 PM
3

Your wide range of emotions sounds so normal to me. Healing is by no means a linear process. It’s been 9 months since her and I had “the talk” and 4 months officially separated. Up until recently I was chronically fatigued and in a survival mode. I couldn’t feel any emotions other than relief and thankfulness for having my own space to feel safe and decompress in. I was more social than I have been in a while which bought about genuine happiness. I’m now at a point where life is coming together.…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 03:14 PM
32

This is a crucial moment in your marriage and life. She’s giving you a “shit test” by telling you to spend ALL of your free time with her or else. The ONLY acceptable response is to let her know that you find that unreasonable and you’ll still be enjoying your hobbies regardless of if she likes it or not. Ironically, if you try to appease her, you will have failed the shit test. The result is that she’ll lose respect for you and will almost certainly find a new way to treat you worse. Divorce wi…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 01:10 PM
6

She is already checked out. That really sucks man. Imagining your wife with someone else is uncomfortable to say the least. You can’t force her to stay though and it’s unfortunately something you’ll have to learn to be okay with. That being said… Don’t confront her. She is now your adversary. She’s careless and has let her guard down. Capitalize on those mistakes. If you call her out on it she’ll deny everything, attack you and delete all evidence. If you keep quiet she’ll continue to be careles…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 09:12 PM
3

Honestly it would be perfect time in OPs life to get a gig as a bartender or something like that. It’s time out socializing with customers, instead of being at home lonely Extra cash Sounds like a win-win
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 01:04 AM
7

The great thing about lots of visible tattoos and face piercings is that it allows you to realize a woman is likely batshit crazy without even having to get to know her. If you need the confidence boost, perhaps pursue it knowing FULL WELL it will be a quick fling. End it on your terms as quick as it starts so you don’t get trapped.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 11:24 PM
6

Oof
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 02:14 AM
14

In court you lost your temper, prevented your lawyer from speaking and allowed yourself to be “tricked” by her lawyer? It sounds like you need to pay your lawyer, let her do her job, keep your mouth shut and stop getting in your own way.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 01:25 AM
4

Words of wisdom or advice? Divorce her. You can’t save her. It’s just a matter of if she goes down solo or takes you with her. Seriously, this can get so bad. What if her next suicide attempt works and you somehow get blamed and end up in prison for murder? You’ll never have a stable life with someone who is unstable. If you need a middle ground, you can divorce her and still take care of her out of the goodness of your own heart. Book suggestions… Stop caretaking the borderline or narcissist Th…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 11:04 PM
2

Old pics of vacations, big events, or memories wouldn’t be weird. But professional headshots of selfies comes off conceited. Another thing I’ve found weird is if people have no pictures of their family and friends. I once rented a room in an older couples home. They had children and grand children… but only had pictures of the horses, in every room.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 12:52 PM
3

Someone doesn’t just instantly get this good at hiding shit and being sneaky. She’s had a lot of practice. I’m glad you found Reddit because you’ll likely need a support group as you find out more of what she has been hiding
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 10:23 PM
14

Sometimes that’s all it takes. What’s really more effective… “If you do that I’ll tell my lawyer” Or…. “Listen man. I’ve lost my wife, my house, my financial security and my unlimited access to my kids. I don’t have much left to lose and I’m not someone you want to fuck with right now.”
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 06:17 PM
1

Right now it’s off season. So $750 gets me my spot. That includes water, sewer, garbage, internet and basic cable. Electric is extra, which is about $25 a month for me. Prices will go up for a few months in the summer. My campground has docks that connect to the waterway, a fishing pond, a pool and about ten minutes to the ocean. When I’m ready to move, all I gotta do is hook up and go.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 11:35 AM
7

I bought an RV. I got my own space and a new toy at the same time. I’m on my second campground and both times somehow got parked next to another guy in the process of a divorce. So I ended up getting a support network too!
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 12:22 AM
5

I disagree. People who want to marry don’t think like this. Anyone who would go through this scheme does not want to marry, regardless of what they tell themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 12:59 AM
5

Lol. This can go wrong in so many ways it’s almost comical. What happens when your parents get divorced split your assets? What happens when one of them dies and the other parent suddenly needs that money for themselves? What happens when you and your parents have a falling out that would have happened anyways? What happens when a parent gets Alzheimer’s and your sibling alters the will? My point being, relationships are fickle. At least with marriage you CHOOSE your partner. That isn’t true wit…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 12:34 AM
3

This is why I’m destined to live in an RV, in the middle of a forest, completely detached from civilization
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 10:46 PM
2

Hey man, you’re posting here saying you don’t want to feel alone. I recommend visiting r/bpdlovedones That subreddit is filled with people who have gone through what you’re going through. It’s helped me out a lot and I’ve dealt with about 10% of what you have gone through.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 08:30 PM
9

Guarantee those friends she went out with aren’t happily married women. They’re either divorced women talking to her about “how great it is on the other side” having freedom while an ex husband pays for it. Or, her friends involve a man who is trying to or already has gotten with her. Either way, she came home looking for a reason to be pissed off and talk about divorce. Kettle bell is all she found.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 02:56 PM
13

The “I love you but I’m not in love with you” translation is spot on
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 03:58 PM
16

You divorced 6 months ago and you decided now to “stop trying to date other people.” You shouldn’t have even been trying in the first place IMO. You need time to process and heal. Enjoy hanging out with just yourself before you add someone else into the mix
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 02:39 PM
2

Sounds delightful lol.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 10:28 PM
4

Was waiting for this comment! I’m not dating, or trying to date. When it comes time for that though, I don’t see myself using apps.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 09:29 PM
8

Yo man, you’re giving the other team our playbook
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 02:53 PM
8

You need to do whatever you feel is right. Every situation is so unique that you can’t get a good perspective here. My wife and I split and we sold the house. I let her live in my new place for a couple weeks while she closed on hers. I got her a storage unit and helped her move and get settled in. She still did plenty on her own to foster independence. I did just enough to save her thousands of dollars and prevent her from feeling abandoned. Our marriage was ending but my commitment to support …
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 11:11 PM
8

Drinking isn’t healthy and neither is using sex as medication. Stay busy in healthy ways. If you need to drink to get through the holiday, do what you gotta do. But tomorrow it ends. Don’t let it become a habit. Pick yourself up and make yourself better… the only long term solution
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 05:56 PM
0

All these people saying “get a vasectomy” “never get married” and all that isn’t comical, but my comment is? If you don’t have kids or a woman to support, you should be able to live off of 50K. If you don’t have anything stopping you from focusing on your career and side hustles, 150K+ should be attainable.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 04:17 AM
2

Honestly man, you’re getting some fucked up advice here. The advice you’re getting here is so jaded and overboard. It’s basically the equivalent of asking people for driving advice on a car crash subreddit, getting responses like: “Always wear a 5 point harness, only drive a tank, only drive between 1 AM and 4 AM when traffic is light, always wear a helmet, call someone every 5 minutes to give a position report, have open redundant policies with three different insurance companies” Living life t…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 02:11 AM
13

Relatable. You never want to see someone you love/loved struggle. So far my ex is doing okay. But when she bought her new place we made sure she had enough money in her own account to cover a years worth of expenses (that she shouldn’t need to touch and could use as a safety net). She bought her place 3 months ago. The other day she mentioned she’s almost out of money. My stomach dropped.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 02:05 PM
18

Dude your mother in law has no place on this. If you’ve only been married 6 months you might be able to get an annulment and make it like the whole thing never happened
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 01:09 AM
7

The beta male comments aren’t helping. That being said, are you seriously apologizing for the fact that she’s drunk texting her ex boyfriend?!? If you were drunk texting your ex girlfriend sweet messages how would have that played out?? Calling her out on her shit for texting the ex was one of main things you did right! I’m sorry this is happening to you. She started seeing you as her little play thing that she could take for granted. Put that soft side away and put your own interests first 100%…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 05:04 AM
4

Good metaphor
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 07:32 PM
5

Absolutely loving that constant drama is what makes her 100% the problem
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 03:01 AM
3

If I woman can be very specific about how she was abused by one man, but still compliment other past lovers, AND take some accountability, then that would be a pass. BUT if it’s “all my exes are abusive blah blah blah” then she was 100% the problem
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 12:53 AM
15

I think I’d be too scared to date a single mom. Their go to phrase is “I am out of an abusive relationship” which makes me think that anytime a respectable man calls them out on their shit they scream “abuse.” What makes it scary, is that they have a kid watching this dynamic. The kid learns to use the “abuse” word to manipulate people. It is easy to imagine a soon to be stepdad being left alone with the kid. The kid decides they don’t like this guy and accuse him of being “abusive.” Now the poo…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 01:29 PM
6

Hell yeah dude on the 10% body fat. Limit social media, get ripped and get back to living. That’s the way.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 09:54 PM
1

Look into the “iron council” through order of man. Yes, it is online, but there is a big enough community there that someone will likely be close to you. It’s not catered to divorced men, but rather supporting all men and encouraging them to live a life that matters. What part of the world are you in?
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 06:02 PM
26

If you didn’t find her incredibly attractive you prob wouldn’t have married her in the first place. I don’t think this is weird
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 01:46 PM
5

If she removes the kid from their house and refuses to let the OP see his kid that could almost be considered kidnapping
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 01:35 PM
3

I’ve been spending so much time on Reddit the past few months and this is one of the best responses I’ve ever read!
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 05:39 PM
2

Not a battle worth having. Her engagement ring appraised for 8,000 but I think she only got 1,700 when she finally sold it on one of those jewelry websites. The money you spent is gone
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 01:10 AM
5

Good on you for taking the first step towards allowing yourself the love you deserve. Stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 03:41 AM
3

Perhaps try to take your kids out for the start of new thanksgiving traditions? Running “turkey trots” in the morning. Driving around to see Christmas lights at night Watching a movie instead of football There’s lots of other traditions on this holiday besides eating a big meal. You could also be setting yourself up for compromises in the future, depending on how cool your wife is. For instance, the year is 2027… “I know it’s your year to have the kids on thanksgiving, but can I pick them up at …
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 01:13 PM
1

Happy birthday man!! Get the peace you deserve. Put it on the calendar, schedule it and go (no matter what). It could be a hike, a couple hours fishing. Shit, it could even be some time at a hotel just watching TV or whatever. But schedule a couple hours for yourself. It sounds like you need it
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 03:29 AM
5

My trailer is currently 40’ but that’s just cause I appreciate the finer things in life.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 04:40 PM
3

The internet doesn’t know what the future holds either, so take everything said here with a grain of salt. That being said, I don’t know you, but because I’m also going through a divorce I can relate to you and care about you. If you’re already financially set, please be careful to make sure you stay that way. I’d plan your future out so that it is your house exclusively, with a bedroom for each of your kids. Get settled on your own first and then prioritize your kids. Once those boxes are check…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 11:56 PM
6

You don’t have a place to live and you literally just made this post admitting “you don’t know how to move on” but you already got your next ex-wife lined up??? You’re going to be kicked out of your next house before you even buy it!!
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 10:19 PM
14

It sounds like you’re being very honest about what your future looks like and that is huge. If it were me, I’d def try to wait out the 2.5 years until the kid is 18. That means no child support. Also, and this is huge, usually if you divorce before the kid is 18, you’re also on the hook for all college related expenses. Wait until after 18 and anything you contribute to college is out of the kindness of your heart and not legal obligation. If staying in the home the next 2.5 years is miserable w…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 09:46 PM
5

You made something complex seem so incredibly simple to understand. Very well done
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 12:53 PM
34

This sucks man. You have a right to be angry and it’s actually healthy you are letting yourself feel those emotions. Give yourself sometime to grieve. Eventually (if you haven’t already) you’ll figure out that this had little to do with you. Sure, you have your flaws, but ultimately this is on her. She can say she’s not attracted to you, but that’s bullshit. You could be Brad Pitt and it wouldn’t matter, because she’s been with you too long and what she’s actually attracted to right now is excit…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 12:43 AM
30

I think you would be crazy if you didn’t have those days
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 01:23 PM
3

The iron council, which is part of order of man. Look up order of man, listen to the podcast and decide if you want to join the iron council
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 02:11 PM
2

You have no assets, no kids and have not been married very long. Most states seem to cap alimony at around half the years you were married (assuming married under 10 years). So you might be looking at paying alimony for 1.5 years. That would be my guess. Hopefully you can settle with minimal lawyer involvement
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 01:11 AM
7

If that happened to me I’d seriously consider quitting my job and just working under the table for cash for 6 months. Try garnishing that. No sense in going to work if you know in advance that the money is just going to be stolen from you
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:35 PM
0

We have the incentive of wanting the world to be a better place. Without authority our ability to execute that desire is some what limited, but the incentive is definitely there either way
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 01:52 PM
2

Eventually you’ll get your raise. Eventually the payments will go down. Eventually your daughter will understand. Just hang on
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 11:24 PM
8

My heart sinks for you just reading that. Any chance getting a dog is an option for you? A dog will provide companionship, some distraction and will force you to get up in the morning and walk outside. It certainly won’t fix the issue, but man’s best friend could def provide some help
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 04:41 PM
2

This varies greatly. The person who thought he had the love of his life and got completely blindsided will be different compared to the guy who has spent years just hanging on by a thread. The guy who escapes relatively unscathed financially and never had kids will heal faster than the guy who finds himself suddenly underwater. Be patient with yourself, no matter which guy you are it will get better
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 10:55 PM
1

Only you know the math, but I’d think that 7 years of alimony + half you’re retirement accounts may end up being more than $200,000. Even if it was slightly less, I might still go for the lump sum payout to just be able to cut ties and move forward. That’s psychologically worth something
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/22 02:40 PM
2

Assuming you live in a normal house (not a mansion) option 4 sounds pretty good
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/22 10:20 AM
6

You’re friend at work is breaking up with her fiancé. You’re miserable. You aren’t in love and neither is she, despite both of you possibly feeling that way. In reality, you’re drowning and so is she. It’s like you’re treading water in the ocean and now looking at each other as life preservers. If you latch on now it will feel good for a minute until the air lets out of the life raft and you each take turns pushing the other ones head under the water while you try to stay afloat. If you think sh…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 01:43 PM
9

One day at a time man. There’s no easy way to skip the painful part, but it will get better
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 05:25 PM
7

One of the best responses I’ve read in a while.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 01:34 AM
7

You already know what you should be doing but I’ll reiterate it. 1) work on your marriage. Try everything. Divorce has the potential to be the most painful experience of your life. It could also be a pleasant experience, but that’s usually only after you’ve already tried everything 2) Find an attorney and discuss your specifics to get an idea as to how much your life will change 3) don’t do anything stupid. No affairs, no shady business, nothing that will come back to hurt you
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 08:02 PM
2

Move out ASAP and keep your schedule so full you don’t have time to dwell
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 05:43 PM
2

It sounds like a great idea
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 01:47 AM
3

Reddit is about discussing topics of interest, life advice and intriguing conversations with pure honesty, thanks to being relatively anonymous. Facebook/IG and all the others are about looking at vacation pics and baby pics of people you knew at one point in life. Reddit is the only social media worth having
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 04:28 PM
7

There’s no good options. If it were me, I would sell my empty house that has no furniture. I would downsize to the absolute smallest/cheapest living situation feasible. Then I would get a part time job. Ideally something fun/flexible. Bartender every other weekend would be a good one. The weekends you aren’t with your kids could get lonely. Working as a bartender (or similar type job) would keep your mind busy, put you in a good environment to meet someone, and line your pockets with extra spend…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 09:50 PM
7

I think I plan on doing all of them at once. A therapeutic dialogue with a prostitute while drunk. Something’s gotta work.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 05:08 PM
10

Take screenshots and don’t say anything. Let them keep messaging and let this keep escalating. You’re leaving her anyways so at this point if it escalates to the point of her cheating, that will only help you. Leave her alone with the shovel and let her dig her own grave
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 02:05 AM
16

My short answer is no, you shouldn’t consider divorce. Too much has changed with a newborn and you’re in the chaos. Everything is unhinged, stress is high, you aren’t thinking clear. If she’s a good partner who you can trust, don’t give up on her. “Lately I don’t feel like I have much control over my own life.” Start by owning your shit and change your perspective. Who cares if you can’t have an Instagram? I deleted mine because I got tired of it causing drama. Now I’m single and I’m not bringin…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 06:57 PM
0

It’s elsewhere, Check out http://www.theironcouncil.com
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 05:36 PM
3

Look into the “iron council” which is part of “Order of man.”
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 05:26 PM
1

I think you’re putting yourself in a state of limbo that sounds awful. In order for relationships to work you have to be all in, especially with marriage. You’ve both been too wishy-washy and now that the precedent has been set for being flaky your marriage will not recover. You also won’t heal or move on or have closure if you two keep entertaining the thoughts of “is this really done” Marriage sucks sometimes. So does breaking up. You two are trying to avoid either of the crap but switching si…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 10:18 AM
2

This same thing killed the trust and communication I had with my wife. She would get mad at me for something minor and then call her friends and really exaggerate what happened. I’d hear it from the other side of a closed door. I stopped believing her when she told me about how all her friends/family/coworkers were out to get her. I also stopped opening up to her as much, knowing nothing I said would stay between us.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 02:13 AM
10

Any grown woman taking tarot cards seriously has issues that no man can fix. Sorry bro, but sometimes it’s just bad luck and there’s nothing you can do.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 02:03 AM
1

Pros and cons lists aren’t great because they are weighted differently. “Too good too leave, too bad too stay” is a good book that gives a lot of examples explaining relationship ambivalence and when it may be better to leave vs stay
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 08:22 PM
3

“Hey honey, we need to uproot our lives and move across the country so I can divorce you on better terms” Yeah. That will go over well.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 08:09 PM
1

I was thinking the same. If the kids are already used to seeing two adults not talk, not show affection and not have fun together then there probably wouldn’t be too much difference. As long as they separated and lived close
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 08:04 PM
5

Eminem said the same exact thing about the possibility of getting married a second time. Then he went and married THE SAME woman a second time 🤦‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 09:56 PM
3

Yes, often women want the big wedding. Just as often it’s men too though. I think the biggest predictor, more so then gender, is that whoever has the biggest family pushes for the big wedding.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 11:01 PM
7

You broke my number 1 rule which is never date a coworker. That complicates things. Don’t let the past baggage sabotage a good thing though. Jealousy and insecurity only ruins relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 07:04 PM
18

Second marriages fail because of baggage from the first marriage. Raising kids that aren’t yours, financial stress due to paying for multiple families/houses, jealousy issues that arise from co-parenting relationships, trust issues and emotional baggage, etc. It sounds like neither of you have any baggage. I think you prob learned valuable lessons and are more set up for success this time. The lack of excitement is just due to age. A wedding ceremony is nothing but a party and young people like …
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 04:38 PM
26

Yeah. I told them if they want to talk to someone go on dating apps. The subreddit is for guys looking to get out of relationships, not into them
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 04:26 PM
3

I feel like I could have written your post with a lot of what you said. Step 1 is Absolutely DO NOT have kids with her. I started the IVF journey with IUI but it never worked. Now I’m getting divorced and so thankful that it did not work. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for you. Your life can have happiness and meaning without kids. You can divorce her and have so little stress it will feel like vacation 24/7. Step 2, educate yourself on Borderline Personality Disorder. “Stop walking o…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 06:02 PM
1

Thank God! Finally someone who is looking out for me. Right now I’m just busy on the phone fixing an issue with my cars extended warranty so I’m not liable for any future repairs. After that I need to go to the bank. A foreign National needs to wire me some money so I can hold it for him. I’m the only one he trusts but he just needs my bank info. It’s a good thing that foreign National is letting me keep half the money for my troubles, because my grandson is apparently in jail. An unknown number…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 08:59 PM
3

Yes and I would NOT recommend the OP talk to her about BPD!! It needs to be phrased as “I hate seeing you depressed and want you to feel better. Seeing a psychiatrist might be scary, but I feel it could be great for your overall health. Would you be open to trying that?” Let the therapist/psychiatrist be the bad guy.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 04:16 PM
8

I’m not a psychiatrist and I’m only going off of your brief description, but what I’ve gathered, she probably has Borderline Personality Disorder. Any of this sound familiar… -she exhibits black and white thinking (you’re either amazing or her enemy). Her criticisms will focus on your character rather than an isolated incident. You’re probably used to hearing words like “always or never” -She can prob experience rage. Go from calm to cursing, shouting, crying, throwing stuff or getting physical.…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 02:23 PM
3

My personal preference is to keep payments low, especially during times of uncertainty. I’d much rather drive a 20 year old beater that is paid off then drive a newer car with bells and whistles and a $500 a month payment.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 03:32 PM
4

If I were her lawyer it would be an at fault divorce for the affair you’re trying to have. I’d fight for full custody claiming you’re irresponsible and not fit to father due to using and growing drugs in the home. Im an internet stranger who took 90 seconds to read this post and your profile and could prob already bury you in court. Clean up your life a bit and be very careful with your every move or yes you will lose everything
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 01:00 AM
7

If she has chronic depression then you would have experienced cycles of this countless times by now. If this is new, not something “seasonal” or something that you’re used to dealing with then it isn’t depression. Unfortunately my gut instinct is lining up with everyone else’s. She likely betrayed you in a way that would end the relationship. She is now pushing you away because it’s easier to say she “fell out of love” then it is to come clean and fess up.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 05:43 PM
20

If she has chronic depression then you would have experienced cycles of this countless times by now. If this is new, not something “seasonal” or something that you’re used to dealing with then it isn’t depression. Unfortunately my gut instinct is lining up with everyone else’s. She likely betrayed you in a way that would end the relationship. She is now pushing you away because it’s easier to say she “fell out of love” then it is to come clean and fess up. Edit: “I’ve seen no indications of chea…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 05:43 PM
22

I’d think that the kid looking back on all of his big days remembering you being the one who was there will mean a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 11:07 PM
2

I think what you’re dealing with is very common. So common in fact, that you prob have neighbors experiencing the same thing. You could try to find out who they are and start connecting with them. Churches are a great place to meet people too. Another great way to meet people is moving and starting over. If you live in a rural area where your closest neighbor is a half mile away it’s tough to connect. If you move to a brand new area and get established in a development with lots of houses you ca…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 01:56 PM
5

Why not do public school?
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 04:27 PM
15

I’m going through a divorce and just bought an RV. Campground fees, electricity, insurance, cell phone bill all add up to be less than $1,000. 12K would cover all my fixed expenses for a year. If she makes more than you then you wouldn’t even have to pay alimony. I know there are some god awful places to live out on the west coast, but it’s still mind boggling how 300K isn’t livable
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 02:24 AM
6

This video clip needs to be played at all major events right after the star spangled banner. Spread that message!!
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/22 11:44 AM
7

If you’re this miserable there is no way she’s living in bliss. She might be thinking the same thoughts. Tell her the same way you told us. Tell her “we need to talk” and schedule that talk for later in the day so she knows something serious I’d coming. Tell her everything you told us but turn it into a shit sandwich AKA put the shit between too good things. Start: I love you, we have so many good memories, your a great mom, we have so much history, etc Shit: we’ve been in therapy and I feel lik…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 08:28 PM
15

I’ve only felt crippling loneliness laying in bed, next to a woman, who I was convinced hated me. I remember thinking if I was single at least I could reach out to someone, or have hope that someone special was about to come into my life. When you’re locked down with no options it can become very depressing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 10:45 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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