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fuzzydogdada Archive

View 5 posts and 46 comments by fuzzydogdada on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

Aa someone who has come very close to suicide, I can tell you that suicide is about despair, hopelessness, exhaustion, and ultimately feeling like you have run out of options to solve your pain. But the reality is that you have plenty of options. It only takes one phone call to learn about an option. If that doesnt work, then go to option 2. And keep going working on these options until one day you realize that you dont need the options anymore. The pain becomes less urgent and you've started he…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 02:45 PM
2

The worst part of keeping score is that we invariably count the wrong things. Keeping track of who does the chores and who plays with the kids and who walks the dogs are only some of the things that make up the marriage. The really tally should be about your respective love languages: The ways you want to loved by your wife vs what she gives? The ways you show love to your wife vs what she actually wants? Perhaps, wanting her to help with the chores is your love language? You want teamwork and p…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 04:46 AM
2

The important thing is not necessarily what either of you say. What you both DO is more important. Kids need to know that they are in a safe place even if the family structure is changing. They need to know that BOTH parents love them and will care for them even if they are in separate households. To give them that security means forming a partnership with your ex to be jointly and cordially involved in parenting and making decisions. Even family events with the ex may be warranted. Its awkward …
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 07:23 PM
2

I love you man! Will you marry me!?
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 11:41 PM
2

Sorry you are going through this. I was in your spot for years. I dont know that anyone here can answer your question though. Everyone's situations are so different. Here is what I can offer though: Some guys here were able to transition to singlehood very quickly and they seem to love it. But most here are stuggling with the separation, either emotionally or financially or both. If you are like me, and the core of your indentity is about family, teamwork and partnership, being divorced is emoti…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 04:58 PM
5

This hits home for me because I just started thinking about dating again. And when I think about all the things I want in a relationship, I think about the things I miss from my ex or things that I didnt get with my ex. My next relationship should have NOTHING to do with my ex. It should be about me and the future special someone and the balance we find together. Your post was a good reminder. Thanks again.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 10:20 PM
5

I love this post. You da man.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 08:55 PM
2

Try not to think of divorce as the end of a marriage. It is merely a painful legal procedure to finalize what is happening in real life. Marriage does not end due to a single event or a single party. The marriage didnt end when you told her. It sounds like it was ending for a while and all you did was offer closure. Its nobody's fault and both of you are at fault at the same time. It is easier and more accurate to just accept that it just didnt work out. Claiming guilt right now is natural but i…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 02:48 PM
4

Im not accusing you of doing this, but sometimes men think of divorce as the first solution to solve marital problems when it should probably be the last. Couples can regain love and reignite passion. But it needs effort on both parties to solve the conflicts and incompatibilities that drain the happiness from their relationship. If you truly know that you want the divorce then my feedback is moot. You should move quickly to give your wife peace and closure. But if you can compartmentalize your …
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 12:59 PM
2

I sympathize and I know you are venting here. But none of us here can truly help. It sounds like you and your wife have gone your separate ways already at least emotionally. You need counselling and your wife may need therapy. I would at least encourage your wife in the kindest way that she should speak with a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 04:57 AM
2

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.... now I have Heinz-sight.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 04:42 AM
1

Thanks for posting this. It was brave of you. Its a reminder to all of us that the kids are sometimes the collateral damage. Your dad is hurting, like most of us here but he shouldnt be involving you in his pain. You should talk to your dad about how you feel. Also set some ground rules about things he can say. Try your best to find an activity that you can share without so much dead time where his mind can go to his dark place. Seeing a movie or playing video games or playing sports are all gre…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 04:07 AM
1

I did not do an estate sale for my stuff but I sold a bunch of stuff on FB and local sites. I probably sold over $1000 of stuff over 2 months. Selling on FB requires work and time though. I have often shopped at estate sales, especially when I found my own place and needed cheap furnishings. I think its a good idea. Near me, there are several online estate sale services. They charge 18% to the BUYERS for everything they sell. They handle photos and the listings.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:15 PM
1

I would start with a conversation with her about divorce and see what she says about splitting up assets. Assume 50/50 then horse trade until you guys can come to an agreement. Dont get the lawyers involved unless you absolutely have to. In many cases, they get more of your assets than either of you. My friend just got divorced and it was a long contentious battle. They lost 20% of their assets to their attorneys and neither side got what they wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 11:47 PM
8

Same here... my first xmas in 24 years without my wife. Hang in there... I know it hurts like hell but try not to harbor any resentment or guilt. That kind of negative energy eats away at your soul You guys are breaking up because neither of you fulfilled each others needs. Thats nobody's fault and both your fault. It's best to realize that and accept that it just didnt work out. Just look forward and work towards a happier future. I wish i can invite you guys over for beers and really junky foo…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 04:11 PM
4

This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 02:14 PM
8

Hey... I see some unnecessarily negative comments from the dads. Sorry about that. Let me offer a more supportive perspective. NO. It is not common for a dad to NOT talk about his kids. I talk about my kids all the time. Heck I cant ever STOP talking about my kids. However it does not mean he has any bad intention or have a secret agenda. It could be that kids are a source of stress or that he is extra protective. He may be embarrassed by them or havent figured out how to merge you into their li…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 01:00 PM
1

Good luck. Rehoming seems like the best option. Temporarily if you want to give yourself and the dogs some relief, you should look for experienced dog walkers. Experienced dog walkers know how to bond with dogs. If you check on Rover, some of those walkers have had 10-30+ clients and theyve been effective at giving the dogs proper care. I ended up with the dogs too. I love them very much but its very limiting on my life. Makes it hard to do anything outside of the house. I hired a local walker f…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 02:22 AM
2

Yup. They shouldnt suffer because their parents separated. Can you get at least a dog walker to visit them during the day?
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 12:25 AM
1

Oh . Didnt understand the nuance! I thought it was formal requirement. The website made it seem like that I needed the "delivered" affidavit to file. Thanks for your suggestion.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 09:39 PM
1

Thank you!! I found an online service so they will handle this.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 06:54 PM
1

Theres an affidavit for the server that requires notary that easentially says "I delivered the docs" I think i will do this online over divorce.com.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 06:53 PM
10

It doesnt quite answer your question but its important to consider that people have different personalities in different situations. She could be wonderful when shes in love and everything is going great but how is she when times are bad? How is she in a fight? How does she handle being sick? How does she handle when you are not 100%? How does she handle financial crisis? My wife and I were so awesome when times were great. But she fell apart and became distant when times got hard. I'm an advoca…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 11:33 PM
2

Hey... the flip side is going to be better my friend. I will be having my first christmas without my wife in 23 years. And yes I have nostalgia remorse for the good years with my wife but its just that... happy memories that I will keep forever but its not reality any more. Im really looking forward to it. No more fighting. No more cold shoulders. No more worried about how long to maintain the facade of a maŕriage. My kids and I will have a blast.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 12:34 PM
3

Its not wrong to divorce out of a bad situation. That being said, you have to think about the reasons for you to lose interest in your wife. If the reason is something BETWEEN you two. I recommend counselling and a different routine to add spice to your relationship. New hobbies, new friends, games, etc can make a huge difference. If the reason is something INSIDE you, where you struggle with commitment, craving ego boosts, or adrenaline rushes and dont understand the difference between loving s…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 06:49 PM
2

Haha. We talk about hobbies on this sub a lot to help with coping from a divorce. I cant think of a better hobby than to make your ex look stupid. I vote to go this route. Seduce one of her friends turn you back to a man!
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 03:08 PM
2

Totally!! I thought I was the only one feeling this way. I dont feel bad but I dont feel alive either. You hit on something profound. Maybe we need something like a BFF. Need to ponder on it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 05:26 AM
2

Haha. Very true!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 11:46 PM
3

Nah.. nothing nefarious that my ex did. I just got old and fast food was affecting my digestion! Haha. For some reason the whopper didnt bother me. Dare I think being single improves my digestion? Hm...
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 09:27 PM
6

Its what happens in a bad marriage. You lose sight of what's important. Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 09:12 PM
2

Its weird how this mild adjustment disorder is making me crave junk food! LOL. After BK, I might do Popeyes fried chicken tonight. Haha Hope you find something or someone that gets your blood flowing again. Im rooting for you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 09:09 PM
2

Very cool! You are inspiring me. Im with you. I dont think I want to couple with anyone. Maybe I just need to stop moping and hopefully I will find a hobby as many have suggested.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 09:07 PM
2

Ah... i think i must be at the hobby stumble phase. Trying different things. Hopefully something sticks. Glad you found golf!! I need to get back into it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 09:04 PM
4

I was sad lately. Probably feeling the holidays already. But I made an effort today to stop moping and get out of the rut. Went hiking and explored a new town with my dogs. Spoke with my friends on the phone and downloaded a new game for my phone. All this made me feel 100% better today. There is something to be said for being proactive about combating depression. It worked.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 01:15 AM
6

I love that you're even asking. Thank you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 01:10 AM
1

Raising kids is mentally draining and remembering to pick up somthing is a common brain fart. I was a stay at home dad for 10 years and I was good at it but boy it was really hard to keep track of mundane tasks. You did the right thing by cooking her eggs. That was nice of you. Just remember that her having free time is not the same as her having free thought. She may need reminders or develop different habits and routines for her to help you with what you need. So talk to her and work out a sys…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 10:19 PM
1

I learned it the hard way as well. Glad things are better with the current relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 06:58 PM
6

Many answers are missing here. But it does sound like both of you are taking each other for granted and not talking to each other. This is one the most common problems in any relationship where one or both sides expect the other party to read the other's mind and act on it. If you want your eggs, why didnt you ask for it? Ask nicely, "hey hon, on your way back can stop and get eggs?" Why are you expecting that she keeps the eggs supplied? Is it something you already talked about and established …
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 05:11 PM
10

Instead of focusing on proving her wrong for her thoughts (which means you are being dismissive and invalidating), why dont you talk to her about whats making her unhappy? And start discussing how to improve things between you. Couple problems are never about any one thing. If you are committed to the marriage, start by having a real couples conversation and truly listen to whats making her short with you. If shes being honest with herself, she should be able to tell you whats bothering her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 12:08 AM
1

I second this. Speak with a therapist. They are not a cure all but they help. You have a ton of stuff going on inside you. A good therapist will help organize your feelings into things you can control and things you cant control. Come up with a plan, starting with baby steps to get you back to feeling ok. Managing your mental health is important. Do it for your kids, do it for your beer buddies and most importantly, do it for your future hot girlfriend. I feel for you. Good luck buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 01:23 PM
5

This.... Your kids are affected by the divorce more than anyone. They are often collateral damage in a parent fight. Its important for them to feel safe and loved and to know that they have family to help if they need it. If your in-laws love them and are good to them, its good to stay in touch for the kids sake. Its awkward. I get it. But your kids will benefit.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 01:04 PM
2

I feel for you brother. In this case, all the happy memories dont help. Just life stuff changes both sides I think. The best couples manage to adapt to these life changes together as a team and find a way to manufacture a little joy in the process. Couples fail when one or both sides become unhappy with the life stuff and it doesnt get addressed. Just something I will keep in mind if I ever have a chance again.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 07:17 PM
16

You are not considering the possibility of you marrying someone richer. You're still a young dude. Find yourself a rich cougar and be a stay at home boy toy! Make the divorce laws work for you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 05:20 PM
16

Hang in there man. Shes fighting demons and sadly you and your son are collateral damage. The important thing is your son. Is hes happy then half your battles are won. I would take a break from the MIL. Everything now should be about your son and your mental health. If shes bothering you, you should tell her (nicely) to stay away and let you grieve. Keep talking to people. Friends, family. Dont be ashamed to seek therapy. Keep busy and find your new life. All be will ok soon.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 12:03 AM
1

Nah.. lost interest when I was in my 20s. They can get expensive. Plus most are no touch clubs so they get expensive AND frustrating. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 04:42 PM
1

How did you start TRT? Does it start with a doctor?
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 04:41 PM
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