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gabishes Archive

View 4 posts and 180 comments by gabishes on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

“Boys only want one thing” warning from adults is very cruel. Why are we limiting men? Do they not have emotional depth? Do we think they are animals? There are quite a few insults to women that put down men in the process. “She just slept her way to the top.” You mean you think the men would abuse their power? You don’t think he is a good boss?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 03:57 AM
–

How? I really want to understand. How does it work? What is the inequality? Why is interest unimportant? Maybe I am stuck on the interest part. If they don’t want you, they don’t want you. I don’t know how you would overcome that barrier, even assuming one party has the upper hand. You can’t make them be in a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:30 AM
–

I really am trying to be fair with this question but how is a woman being uninterested in specific men an unequal?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 02:38 AM
0

imo if I am a fish whats gonna catch me is what I want not what the fishermen offers. Meaning if there is a man who offers “successful” bait, it’s only going to catch the fish he is able to with that bait. Might be good bait, but doesn’t matter if it’s not the type of fish you want to attract.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 08:20 PM
2

The majority of women are middle-lower class and do not get things paid for. Most women have to work, so they pay for things they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 08:16 PM
1

The last time I dated someone who actively watched porn he raped me. Like now on the offender list raped me. He was into BDSM porn and bought whips and things to hit me with that I told him I didn’t want to do. Porn encourages the objectification of women, that women aren’t people they are just things you have sex with. Someone who doesn’t value a women’s body as a person is someone I do not want to be around.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 03:56 PM
–

I think Instagram DMs is flirting, also onlyfans monetary support
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/24 01:43 AM
0

Women’s advice for women being, focus on loving yourself so you can be in the right headspace to enter a relationship. And “manifest” ie visualize or identify the kind of man you want to be with and pick him. I don’t see the problem. Women have built their own community around protecting each other and healing from shitty men. Because the fact of the matter is the misogyny is a real threat to women. It is undeniable it exists at this point. So the oppressed group has a kind disposition to its in…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 04:15 PM
2

My ex raped me. Pinned me down and forced it and said he would kill me and then himself if I told anyone. He is now on the sex offender registry and is on probation. (incredibly hard to prove rape while in a relationship, because I consented to sex in the past ig 🙄) This is who he was before that. -College Junior (I was a freshman) -Had long term friends and family ties -no previous violent behavior -paid for dates and opened doors for me -had a previous long term relationship and she wasnt “cra…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 03:57 PM
36

the first 5 I read are very reasonable? Don’t date men without common interests, don’t date men who are controlling, don’t date men who make you unsafe, date men who are interested in a long term relationship. Are we looking at the same post?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 11:52 PM
2

But the bigotry against men is rooted in misogyny not misandry. The view that men are the violent ones and women need to be protected is the misogynist view. The view that men just need to be stronger us misogynistic. These are real issues, but they are systematic, who created the systems? Men. Not to say women do not also have to work to make society more equal, but the view that men are dangerous is rooted in misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 05:58 PM
1

the redpillers on here are great clowns for entertainment, but also its scary to know people actually believe these things
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 04:18 AM
2

I see shit like this all the time. It doesn’t matter. Smart women know that the 51 year old chasing you has nothing good in mind. Those who don’t know get prayed upon and then fear men. Either way, men are losing. Either way men are alienating women. The only real way to fix this problem is to get the men to stop praying on 18 year old women. The gap is getting bigger. Do you want lifelong companionship? Or do you want a young woman to fuck a few times. Women are getting more and more distant fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 11:52 PM
0

Literally disgusting comments here. The weight of an American passport is unappreciated and the colonial mindset is so apparent. You are disappointed that people in other countries have different customs and expectations?? After you went there to pursue women? That is plain stupid. You do not get to just hop continents and expect to be doted on without reciprocating in some way. Much less actually take advantage of someone. It’s a truly disgusting mindset. Its obvious why you can’t get women in …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 05:30 PM
1

does this account for gay people? at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 02:42 AM
10

I think we just actually like each other. So many people talk about honeymoon phases/ball and chain type feelings, and I have never felt that way. Neither has he. We are just as infatuated as we were at the beginning. Because what we have together was solid at the beginning, its still that way now.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 03:25 PM
1

what is the point pitting men and women against eachother?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 03:07 AM
1

if you follow this line of logic, you would become controlling enough to never let your gf leave to go anywhere. She might get hit on at the grocery store, gas station, for sure the gym, etc. Women can be approached anywhere, so she better stay home. Its terribly controlling, manipulative, and abusive to have the mindset “she can’t do xyz because OTHER MEN might see her” its actually insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 12:22 PM
1

It hurt my feelings. I had two hookups after getting out of an abusive and it really made me feel gross. Like a piece of meat
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 03:57 PM
1

The issue is that there are no friendly locations to meet women right? There are also no friendly locations, period. Why? It would benefit both groups (men/women) to have a place to hang out and meet new people that is not work or the grocery store. Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/23 03:51 PM
1

this is not a fault of men or women, its CAPITALISM!!! They do not want us to have third locations!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/23 03:39 AM
12

Weird to ask someone to get rid of a commitment just for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 04:04 AM
1

No, emotionally it feels bad to say no to finding who likes me. But there is also a feeling of risk, if i say no he could murder me etc. I have a friend who was raped by a man she rejected who ended up stalking her.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 06:46 PM
2

this comment made me understand SMV=sexual market value 😭😭😭 i thought it was like High value male but a different way to say it
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 01:04 AM
1

To me the boundary is by life stage. If you are looking for someone settle down and to birth you children, (usually men aged 27-35 maybe even older) and you are looking at someone who graduated high school 6 months ago, you are creepy and weird. If you’re in college and your partner is in grad school 20-28 age range. I don’t have a problem with that. Its about the perceived power imbalance coupled with life stage.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/23 06:59 PM
2

There is a shit ton of strawmen in the comments. Its okay to feel insecure, and its okay to feel upset that your partner doesn’t trust you. The nuance in this conversation is that you cannot force your partner to do anything. The partner can draw a boundary around spending the night with am ex, and if you decide that you’re going to do it anyways, you are going to deal with consequences. Vise versa, if you feel like your partner does not trust you, they are going to see consequences of that. Its…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/23 06:54 PM
2

if that is your base assumption, then you’re sexist.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 08:36 PM
3

Did not bother me. Its funny to hear about sometimes, especially when some of the women hit him up to fuck again now that we’re together. I don’t value him any more or less because of that information. I started seeing him without that knowledge and learned about it early on, but it doesn’t matter. Honestly it made him better at sex so I really don’t mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 02:25 PM
1

A man raped me because I rejected him. Its not inflammatory, its simply the truth. Had a whole trial and everything. Because that information makes you uncomfortable doesn’t make it false. If the majority of women say this, don’t you think there is some merit to it??
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 05:35 AM
2

Men literally murder/stalk/rape women that reject them. Its common. Happened to me. This is a bad faith question. Every man I’ve pursued has gone on to date me. I pursued my current bf of 1 year. But I took the chance because I wanted to shoot my shot. Either way I tried. If he doesn’t want me I don’t want him.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 04:47 AM
1

bruh in what world
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 04:36 AM
1

my boyfriend did <3 not me doe
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 04:34 AM
2

condescend? oh my goshhh Crazy that women want the right to CHOOSE to be a housewife.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 04:32 AM
0

You just looked it up?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 03:12 AM
4

Single by choice is when I get tired of men. Not looking to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 01:16 AM
10

Why is she not allowed to be happy a man is treating her well? What is wrong with this?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 12:53 AM
1

The fact that you think being a nanny is being a “paid mommy” is so misogynistic. Even if it was, shouldn’t you be paid to provide childcare for someone else? If you do not value women’s (or frankly anyones) labor in one of the most important jobs (child rearing) you are simply sexist.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 12:48 AM
5

sure buddy
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 04:31 PM
8

Its a good strike, things weren’t changing so creating an avoidable disaster in order to spark change is effective.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 03:00 PM
3

what is?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 02:50 PM
1

yes yes yes they do think like that
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 01:45 PM
1

I went to therapy to learn how to set boundaries and to heal from trauma caused by a rape from the previous boyfriend I had. Also had to actively learn what was shit behavior from men, even what is socially acceptable but is not how I wanted to be treated. Also started dating without the intention of a relationship or a hookup. Just meeting people first and then deciding where to go and what I wanted with them. I told the men this outright, and a lot of them were put off. I said I wanted to see …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 01:44 PM
1

A womens BODY being commodified for male consumption is worse than men having to pay on a date. The worry for a man is that they will waste money on a date, the worry for a woman is that they will be raped and murdered. One frankly is worse. Take for example the male preference for women shaving their legs. Why do men want women to shave their legs to be sexually appealing? Its not because body hair is unsanitary because then men would be shaving their legs en masse too. Its not so that women lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 12:56 PM
6

I think a point to be made here is that women are human a lot of men do not see is as such. that is why they hold some of the opinions they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 12:30 PM
17

Mans really said women are emotional and not rational. Nice misogyny there. Men are just as emotional as women, the difference is that to men their feelings are justified so it doesn’t count. Just because you can’t empathize with women doesn’t mean they are irrational with their emotions. Also anger is an emotion, which men turn towards women and other men constantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 12:27 PM
12

In South Korea women are treated HORRIBLY. There is a conscious no dating men protest going on. There was a registry made of all child bearing age women. Its awful. The expectations placed on women, and then the shame that is also placed on women when the men can just skate by with no consequences would make me not date too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 12:24 PM
1

biggest ick for me is men talking down to me lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/23 06:48 PM
4

its the difference between getting sex FROM whoever, rather then having sex WITH. the language of red pill is sex from.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 06:43 PM
3

Hell, I’m lonely and I have an amazing bf of over a year. A relationship will never fix that for you. Loneliness is a human condition.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 04:02 PM
1

So you are saying, because you are not as established as your peers, dating teenagers is preferable? Insane and creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 03:26 PM
-1

Bro you’re really outing yourself as creepy as hell. Why are you going after women you know are in relationships for starters? And second the “alpha widows” I am assuming are just independent women that you are intimidated by. Because if you are implying that half the single population has had their partner die, thats insane. So we’ve discounted independent functional women, and women in relationships as potential partners, what are we left with? Women who aren’t independent or driven? Certainly…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 03:24 PM
13

do you guys even like women? if you are hearing men say that beating women is fine, that bitches are replaceable, and all that vitriolic garbage. Why would women be interested in you? we only care who you listen to when what they are saying is offensive and harmful. If you enjoy content that dehumanizes women, then you don’t view us as people and aren’t worth it anyway. Any relationship you get that has the basis of superiority isnt a relationship at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 03:26 PM
3

The group of individuals on this sub always astounds me with their lack of perspective. It isn’t women/feminism’s fault that things aren’t working out. It is the deterioration of the entire system, and that system is capitalism. The patriarchy worked when women were being exploited for unpaid labor, and men were being exploited by dangerous industries. BOTH GROUPS WERE EXPLOITED. In the recent past women didn’t want to be exploited for free anymore, which now has resulted in an unbalanced system…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 01:08 AM
9

You never heard “please I’ll stop bothering you if you let me” “you don’t love me if you won’t suck my dick” “i’m going to kill myself if you don’t let me” Even the physical intimidation. I think the general population of men forget about the especially shitty ones. Also rape stats are going up for gen z. 1 in 3 women are capital R raped in their lifetime.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 06:35 PM
1

No :) there is no compulsion to be in control, you have that feeling therefore you see it in others. The examples you gave are women not wanting to meet up early in the “talking stage” so they can feel safe. Pressuring them to meet will almost always make them stop talking to you because its scary. Women also don’t want to give you a timeline because then you will have expectations from them rather than just get to know them, and also because they don’t owe you anything, its demanding and weird.…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 04:45 AM
7

same is true of the inverse. Are you a man who can barely support himself financially? then no you aren’t getting a tradwife to cook and clean for you. Do you have no friends? then you get no bitches fr
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 04:25 AM
1

As someone without a father because he opted to not be in my life let me shed some light on this situation. The court, the school, my mother, all allowed and encouraged him to see me. He decided his time was better spent elsewhere. This is what happens the most. Time and time again people talk about their father’s just disappearing from their lives. Men leave. That is not women nor the court’s fault. Its also why “fatherhood can be revoked easily”. You aren’t entitled to a woman’s body to carry …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 04:20 AM
1

I got abused and then raped by my previous partner. Didn’t like it. Found someone who doesn’t:)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 04:10 AM
1

I am probably on the looser end of monogamy, ie if my bf got the opportunity fuck Jennifer Lawrence as long as he texted me first he could go for it, and threeways are on the table but have not been explored yet. But those are exceptions not the rule, more so life experiences not to be denied if wanted. I want that from him because I don’t want anyone else. Or I don’t want to want anyone else. Both are true, and because I like him that much I want him to like me that much. I want to be on even g…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 04:07 AM
3

Ask any woman, a man who is good with kids is hot as hell. The idea of a man being “safe” (playing with kids being an example of this) is so attractive. Also personally, a feminine man is my favorite kind. My bf is a bisexual man who is perceived gay. They are usually kinder people and better lovers.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 04:00 AM
2

Be friendly, not her friend. Then make intentions known,
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 03:57 AM
3

The study that shows women lose their fertility in their 30s was done in medieval France. That is not how it works today. Women by and large are not starving themselves into menopause. They have also found that sperm quality decays faster than egg quality. That faulty sperm is more likely to cause birth defects at 35 than an egg at 35. Source? Ob/gyn student here 🤓 Ewwwww older men, they are so much less fertile. I prefer young men who still have their virility. Old men are just good for their m…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/23 02:47 PM
2

These are the same guys who are rape apologists, they only want women to serve their own purposes (ie sex doll, baby factory and surrogate mother) and any rational consequences of that need to be the woman’s fault. Otherwise they will feel guilty about all the harm they have caused.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/23 02:36 PM
2

You have a cartoonish view of women lol, who have you actually met like this? touch grass. projecting as hell
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 04:49 PM
3

its not about “dating the same guy”. Thats not the issue. Its holding shitty men accountable. Married men are on tinder, men intentionally give women STIs, men RAPE andASSAULT women, its looking out for that. Why are men so afraid of accountability? lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/23 05:17 PM
2

fucking relatable. I’m sorry you went through that too. Do you get dudes that love to joke about you having “daddy issues”? like they would even begin to understand what that means
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 11:07 PM
0

I am a victim of rape as an adult and molestation as a child. Guys tend to not be interested after they learn that info. I wouldn’t be dating if I wasn’t stable from the trauma, and my STD results are clean.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 11:06 PM
3

Not wanting to be empathetic to someone you love is fucking terrifying.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 11:03 PM
6

you’re right you know. people who cannot walk away from problems once provoked to anger tend to be verbally abusive. Its in the same vein of problems as if someone chokes you in an argument once he is likely to murder you in anger. They feel like their emotions outweigh the cost of the actions taken to regulate them. Not wanting to be empathetic to someone you love is fucking terrifying.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 11:03 PM
2

the second someone becomes unempathetic towards me and whatever medical problem I am going through,I cut them off. I had been dating a guy when I got sick and needed my tonsils out, he first said that it would be fine and then wanted me to comfort him about whatever shit he wanted to complain about. And when I said, hey man can we talk about how i am suddenly getting major surgery in a week and was nervous he complained and told me it wasn’t actually a big deal. Then asked how soon we could have…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 10:54 PM
0

As a bi woman. There are more attractive women than attractive men. My dating history is nearly 50/50 so I feel like I have a bit of authority to speak on this. (One more man than woman so its pretty close.) Honestly it would be even if men put the same amount of effort into personal grooming as women. Most women I know are rather attracted to what used to be called “metrosexual” men. Which is just a term made up to bully men who actually take care of themselves. Its not gay to put on lotion and…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 10:38 PM
8

its a conversation I have with every man i sleep with before I do. “If i get pregnant what will happen”, expect xyz. If you get me pregnant you will be paying for half the abortion. Women assume the physical risk. Abortion and pregnancy can leave you infertile, or with complications that could lead to your death. Women cannot take it lightly.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 04:28 PM
1

there is a reason I said socially inept, rather than socially awkward. Which to anything is proving you aren’t like those guys, because you missed the cue that this statement isn’t about you. They aren’t just missing cues, they don’t realize that women are people.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 10:04 PM
3

people aren’t getting the picture that the socially inept men you have to be kind to like that, are sexually creepy. There isnt a “conflating” of the two, they are one in the same. Never have I experienced one of these men who hasn’t been creepy in some way. I shouldn’t have to tell them to go to therapy, thats their problem
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/22 05:15 PM
1

there have been many times where I have been kind to my boyfriend in a way he hasn’t experienced before, and that has caused him to cry. That i’m there for him without judgement and he is allowed to have moments where he is weak and needs someone. I recently had to explain to him that its okay to ask me for physical intimacy, sex or cuddles or whatever. That its okay to need me that way and ask for it and he isn’t lesser for it, or a creep. Not once have I ever been uninterested in him for being…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 01:12 AM
5

its all catered toward men. The way they fuck is only sexually stimulating for the man. Like the in and out stabbing the vagina shit is not actually pleasurable for the woman. Its all aggressive like they are using and dehumanizing the women. Its a turn off
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 12:56 AM
2

I used to get cat called a lot more when I was aged 14-16 than I do now at 20. I dress arguably more provocatively now and look better too(also no longer shaped like a child either)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 11:11 PM
1

No, (gen z) most real people don’t care. As long as you are clean and are a good person its fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 09:11 PM
1

okay and? are you saying video games are more catered to men?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 07:18 AM
1

the gun games aren’t very fun tbh. we need more games that aren’t about killing. also dudes don’t think animal crossing and the sims make you a gamer
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 05:48 AM
4

my dad is a diagnosed narcissist. My mom and i were kicked out of his house when I was 7. I started getting molested at 9 when I was there on the weekends. (not by him but he knew about it). at 12 he just decided not to pick me up for his weekend and I never saw him again. he fought for custody of me when my mom filed for child support but i never saw him. I’m 20 now. I have a tendency to date bad men. I am with a good one now (i hope) but I used to be used and abused. I dated a man who raped me…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 05:45 AM
1

What does behaving faithfully mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 05:04 AM
2

I want him to love me. To want to spend time with me. To put as much effort into me and the relationship as i am doing for him. I want him to support me (not financially). Believe in me and not put me down. Celebrate my successes as i celebrate his. Talk to me. Be there for me on bad days. I am a big physical touch person so I would want hugs often. Sex every so often, maybe once a week or more but life gets busy. The biggest thing is that he sees me as a partner and wants me involved in his lif…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 04:58 AM
1

its not everything, but its a big one
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 04:23 AM
5

Yeah totally. People say all the time that you need to be perfectly fine on your own before getting into a relationship, like happy completely alone first. Thats bullshit. If you were fine alone, why be in a relationship? Its nice. I feel better now that I am in a stable relationship. I sleep better. My body hurts less. I am more calm. I am happier. It is absolutely a human need. It helps you flourish.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 09:19 AM
1

the biggest one that i’ve seen in my circles are guys that treat women as people. No entitlement, no drama, no nothing. They speak to the women like they are no different. This in turn makes the women intrigued. They feel like they are being treated “different” or “special” which makes them more interested in seeing that man again. Funny how not objectifying women is more effective.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 09:14 AM
2

bruh. what value do women have? The fact that you even have to ask means your a misogynist. They have the same value as men? People. Participants in society.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 01:03 AM
27

Women aren’t seen as PEOPLE. They want a mommy to have sex with. Obviously they aren’t all like that, but the consequences women face because of men deciding we don’t have value or how we feel doesn’t matter are astronomical.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 06:35 PM
22

I see dudes all the time saying they want 5 kids and want their wife to be a SAHM. All I can think of is a man saying that they want their wife to be pregnant for them for 5 years and raise their babies. They imagine being a father without any regard to what pain and suffering they are actually asking for. Crazy
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 01:07 AM
58

its more so about not being controlled any more than future financial planning. I don’t need a man to open a line of credit or a bank account. My grandmother needed a mans name on her paperwork to open her first bank account. My mom needed her fathers permission to open one (not signature, rural midwest) Women used to be controlled because their husband was paying the bills. Trapped in a marriage because they didn’t have rights. Your reasoning in the first paragraph was correct. You are expected…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 01:04 AM
1

Its fine as long as you decide you are worthy of being loved. If your self esteem is any lower than that I can’t help you be better and like yourself more. And men who hate themselves that much will also treat you like shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 12:46 AM
1

i think leagues are based on attractiveness sometimes. But also social skills and personality. If you have nothing going for you in life you’ll attract much the same
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 12:44 AM
2

It would. Why doesn’t he have friends? Its somewhat a red flag. If he just moved to the country and is working on it maybe, if he never had friends is whole life definitely not.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 12:40 AM
1

I think you are missing the point. Men can totally be the catch but its not about arbitrary points. To begin with men and women have really very similar windows of fertility, with the drop off causing birth defects at about the same time. And men’s fertility rates (sperm count) are dropping faster than womens. So no they aren’t the catch in that regard. Men make more money due to how women have to structure their careers to have children. Starting out its about the same. Actually more women are …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 12:37 AM
4

there is no point? he just talks over women and makes strawmen. On top of being a misogynist. There is no use in arguing with a man who doesn’t see the humanity in women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 12:29 AM
5

the show fleabag.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 04:02 AM
1

I apologize, it was a line of credit and that was 1973. But my point still stands. I genZ, my mother’s, mother (boomer) could not open a bank account in Minnesota until my mother was 5. I am saying women weren’t allowed to have standards until very recently in terms of society, so this whole wave is new. Which is why we are seeing incels now, when that wasn’t really a thing before. Because women have choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 01:06 AM
1

20 years ago the “young people” were gen X. Who grew up with mothers who couldn’t have bank accounts. Marital rape wasn’t a crime in my very liberal state until 2012. As womens rights increase the standards for men increase
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 10:46 PM
1

nurturing is fine, its in my nature. But having to spoon feed a man empathy is a lady boner killer
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 10:32 PM
1

why? why is being an 8 man worth more?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 03:13 PM
1

I’m a 10 if you’re into goth/emo/alt, so I’m told.l by my current bf who had a stint as a male model for magazines. So I think I’m just in line looking for an 8/10. I know my worth as well. I am a medical student on track to be a surgeon with being the top of my class. I have a lot to offer, plus I don’t think its fair to say women are essentially required to date down since guys like that will have pussy thrown at them. In my experience, if you have your own confidence and aren’t seeking valida…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 03:01 PM
1

I’m a 10 if you’re into goth/emo/alt, so I’m told.l by my current bf who had a stint as a male model for magazines. So I think I’m just in line looking for an 8/10. I know my worth as well. I am a medical student on track to be a surgeon with being the top of my class. I have a lot to offer, plus I don’t think its fair to say women are essentially required to date down since guys like that will have pussy thrown at them. In my experience, if you have your own confidence and aren’t seeking valida…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 03:01 PM
3

I had a bf where we only dated 6 months and he expected me to make doctors appointments for him. He used to pick me up from my apartment, demand that I cook him dinner, and then take me home immediately after the meal was finished. Obvs I cut that shit off. But he also wanted me to nurture him emotionally like a mother would and I will never do that again. I date adults so they should be capable with coping with their own emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 02:56 PM
20

For the sake of argument I will give the brutally honest version of what i’m interested in and y’all can tell me if it’s too much. Appearance: Taller than me (I’m 5’8) I’ve been told i’m an 8 on average by men so I’d want a man who is in my lane of attractiveness. Physically capable of picking me up (125lbs, I faint sometimes) so whatever body type sustains that. I like indie/alt looking men but thats not a requirement. I don’t date potential. I am a university student so I expect another univer…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 04:40 AM
3

men are now being held to the standards women are and are not competing. women are choosing to opt out, rather than be in a shitty relationship. It’s because the “need” for men ie when women couldn’t have bank accounts in their name, is gone. So the incentive to stay in relationships isnt there. So it makes sense that the answer is that men should do better, because they are the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/22 02:05 AM
2

men are more likely to be single not by choice and stay that way because more women are opting out of dating. Simply put, we don’t need you anymore. We can have bank accounts in our own name now and just live. So women are now treating men like dessert. Nobody needs subpar dessert, so why have any? Thats why the “simps” are winning. “Simps” treat you like dessert.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 02:12 AM
4

I’ve had friends happy that a guy asked them for consent and respected her no. The bar is on the floor means that were happy to receive basic human decency because we do not get respect on the whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 02:34 PM
4

chronically ill. just in terms of general care I am a lot for even myself to keep up with. Fact of the matter is not a lot of people want to date someone who is physically disabled. I look pretty normal though, so its a weird conversation to have where I tell someone I’m sick (first date or earlier) and they have to find an excuse or even admit they won’t date me for that reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 03:15 AM
4

so pussy slay queen 💕💕
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 05:46 AM
7

I’ll use my situation as an example. I dated a guy for 7 months. He was great, I thought we were going to get married. I denied him sex one time. So he chose not to listen and raped me. I was told by the POLICE that I should have picked a better man. I have been told that so many times, because I was in a relationship with him when he raped me. It is absolutely used to victim blame.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 05:16 AM
-2

Is there not a solution beyond men getting involved with women’s freedoms? Because the solution would be admitting that xyz is an abuser and they should go to therapy. Instead of blaming the abused. The car in the analogy was the abuser, the point made was it’s not your fault the dealership scammed you into a lemon. And lastly, you do not know me. The “perfect guy” is already found. I’m just tired of others, the police, victim blaming me. Ya know… what the post was actually about
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 05:13 AM
1

Have you read the other replies on this post? They must be abusers themselves but just don’t want to admit it. I’ve been getting crazy DMs. I went to therapy for a long time because my dad has diagnosed NPD and I literally could not conceptualize anything as anything but my fault. The mf recession was my fault when I was a kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 05:08 AM
1

I don’t want you to fight anything. I am not asking you to do a goddamn thing. The 10 year old reddit account and 10 years of incel behavior have done enough i think. Its good people don’t choose incels
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 05:03 AM
2

I guess in my experience, myself, and my female friends do tend to imagine what a man would do to them. Does he seem capable of rape? would he hit me? how does he react when i set a boundary? Does he respect my no? The problem is, men are pretty good at faking it until they get what they want. Bad things are always going to happen, I just want the victim blaming to stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:54 AM
5

“Nobody normal seeks out abuse” I keep saying that but nobody listens. No Johnny Depp did not deserve the things that happened to him. No its not the fault of all women. I never said its the fault of all men either. I just said we should stop blaming victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:51 AM
1

thank you for being the first rational comment
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:47 AM
1

you’re hopeless and i hope you never have a daughter because she will be damned to be abused.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:47 AM
6

You are the same type to say car maintenance and mowing the lawn are on par to the daily tasks women typically do. You know when on average girls start doing chores? 4 years old. Boys its around 12. What makes a 4 year old more capable than a man to do chores? What invisible tasks are demanded of men? Not ones that are needed of them every day. Also the labor of squishing a spider is in no way comparable to everything your mother and grandmother managed so that you could be here being sexist on …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:45 AM
-2

Bro you proved my point. How are we supposed to know? The men know. Why? Because they cover for bad behavior. They know the rapists, abusers, but do not speak up about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:41 AM
5

You are talking about men like they are predictable or incapable of lying. The fact that women pick men is irrelevant to the problem at hand. Losing all your money and rape aren’t comparable, even the car analogy I used earlier isn’t good. Fact is everybody takes a chance on the people they are dating. But its a choice to rape/abuse someone. You can gamble all you want but the poker chips will never physically hurt you. Nobody chooses to get abused.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:39 AM
2

ok don’t respond to the actual comment :) good job proving your point
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:35 AM
1

this is the point i’m trying to make but all these dudes can’t cope with the fact that they have to take ownership of their bad behavior 😭😭
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:30 AM
-3

bro wtf😭😭. Also where is the excuse?? The study failed to prove women deserve to be abused. L comment
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:27 AM
2

So in very simple terms. Women deserve to be raped/abused because they didn’t pick “nice guys”?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:24 AM
0

Again, I didn’t come up with strawmen, they are literally things that have been said directly to me to my face about dating a man who eventually raped me. You don’t know the context so I can’t blame you. But saying “most women complain about pump and dumps not rape” when this post is clearly about predatory behavior being pushed off as the fault of the victim and having that be the crux of the argument you made is unhelpful to the discussion. You can’t just write off rapist behavior because that…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:21 AM
-5

What objective value? Women are making more than ever. Women who out earn their husbands also tend to do more housework and child rearing than their husbands. The divorce rate is skyrocketing and women still remain the most likely to initiate it. So what value do men bring to the table? Someone else to clean up after, someone else to cook for, someone else who can/will abuse you. So whats the objective value that a man somehow gives to a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:12 AM
1

😭😭 bruh. Read that one back to yourself. Why are you projecting that incel shit onto me? Why is a loyal, kind, boyfriend who listens a bad thing? I couldn’t give a shit about economic status. What does that have to do with blaming women who get abused? You don’t have a sound argument against what I am saying because you engage in that mindset. Its Pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:08 AM
3

So your car breaks down, you should have picked a better car? You had all those cars at the dealership to choose from, but you had to pick the one that broke down on you. You had no idea it was going to break down, but because you chose it you must have deserved it. Only with people, it is wayyy less predictable. It doesn’t matter who does the choosing, nobody is at fault for someone else abusing them. Why do you feel the need to place the blame on the abused? outside of them not choosing nice g…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:01 AM
4

I’m 20, and even I’m aware that nobody can predict the future with 100% accuracy. It is completely a cop out. Blaming women for having “control of who gets sex”(consent is a two way street but I digress) does not mean anything when it comes to abuse. She did not choose to get abused. Nobody normal seeks out abusers on purpose. Its a cop out to place the blame of rapists on their victims instead of addressing the bigger problem at hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 03:56 AM
8

Wow. Condescending. Anyways the small scale social study of 128 women finding mild forms of some negative traits can sometimes be attractive, does not convince me that people deserve to be abused. Failing to look at the sample size of that study, and the inherent problems with drawing a conclusion from essentially a pilot study is just foolish. Even IF thats true, people don’t deserve to be blamed for abusive behavior that happened to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 03:52 AM
4

I am speaking from personal experience. No strawman here. I gave direct examples from my life. But it would be nice if you could counter the argument instead of using buzzwords
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 03:48 AM
7

We do get vibes like that. Then those men complain that we won’t date them cuz they’re “nice guys”. The point I’m trying to make is that nobody sets out to be abused, so why shame women who are? Why tell them to pick better? **edit: shame anyone who is abused. not just women. “pick better” is the phrase i want to pick a fight with, it just so happens its mostly used against women
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 03:42 AM
1

I’m told I’m more “dominant” in relationships though I don’t want to be. What they really mean is that they feel like i’m closer to equal, and not a sub woman. But for example in my current relationship, I set up the first date. Where, when, I planned it out. I paid for his food (cuz I was the one who asked him out) I drove him there, were both college students so this didn’t really bother me. I kissed him. I initiated sex the first time.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 03:26 AM
1

it is now in my experience. i’ve had to do every “first”
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 10:01 PM
2

I haven’t seen a change in the approach, but when you actually start dating it’s different. Guys won’t kiss you first anymore. Wont initiate anything beyond the first date. Sometimes a girl just wants to be kissed and not to have to put in all the magic to make things happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 03:38 PM
1

i 20f like bdsm and things like that, but after getting into a better relationship i continue to desire it less and less. It feels odd now that the other men i’ve been with wanted to hit me so bad. I can’t imagine my current boyfriend wanting to hurt me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 02:27 AM
1

deal breaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 07:30 PM
1

pick better how? how am i supposed to know someone will abused me until they actually do? Obviously i’m finding guys who i dont think will abuse me, but so many of them fake kindness.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 01:49 PM
1

Currently I have a very kind and nice boyfriend. There are good ones, but the good ones aren’t the ones complaining that they don’t have girlfriends. They just stay good people and find other good people to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:23 PM
1

the bar is in hell. I’ve had several boyfriends who have treated me like shit (and told me i deserve it). And the response from men is always “pick better men.” That its my fault i’ve been abused. Its that they want me choose them because “they could have treated me better” (which i doubt). Never calling on men to actually be better. The reason women are so choosy is because the men they think will treat them well end up treating them like shit therefore women become even more choosy. The more a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:22 PM
1

there is a lot of behavior that is not acceptable that a lot of women do. cheating accusations and the like. Getting slapped (for no reason) and having to suck it up. Not getting romanced or effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:16 PM
3

Emotional intelligence is attractive af
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:10 PM
2

My bf is 5’9 and I am 5’8. When I wear shoes i’m taller than him. Don’t mind at all. I would say most people don’t mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 01:13 PM
2

To be fair, i live in Minneapolis. It is a shit show here
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 09:36 PM
3

don’t date with intention for anything. like don’t go into relationships with the expectation it will be one. its easier to judge who to date from women to women
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 02:48 AM
2

Minnesota USA, i’m a college student my family makes ~70k a year
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 02:36 AM
8

if its a man i’m interested in I will aak him out. BUT so many guys think they are entitled to a date just because they asked. Or they will follow you to your car. Or follow you around the gym. Or follow you home. They’ll call you a slut, or a whore for the rejection. Hell, women get MURDERED for rejection. We have every right to judge when you are a threat.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 03:15 PM
2

I think perhaps instead of strength you mean stability. But fundamentally I agree, as a woman dating men. Competence and stability are what I look for in a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 03:10 PM
1

you’re right, its the wanting plural of either that makes it weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 07:19 PM
0

ahhh, so you don’t value women the same as men. You are a misogynist.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 12:12 AM
2

never said they didn’t, but the question was directed at why women care. Another woman commented that women have empty therefore they care too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 11:30 PM
4

Its creepy because of the misogyny and hypocrisy. Its misogynistic to only value women on their “purity”, especially if the man is not a virgin himself. Thats where the hypocrisy comes in. Its creepy when older men prey on young virgin women because they want to fulfill some sexual fantasy. A woman’s worth is not determined by if she is a virgin or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 11:29 PM
2

I spent 7 months loving on someone who was not yet a rapist. It ended after that. Its not a good thing that I dated him, however there was nothing to be done in the way of defending myself. Lets be real here, there is next to nothing a 120lb 5’6 woman can do when a 200lb 6’2 man decides he is going to rape her. There were no signs, everyone was shocked he could do something like that. Denouncing someone for dating someone who did something shitty to them is not productive. I do agree however it …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 11:25 PM
17

You’re missing the point. Wanting someone that is a virgin isn’t the problem. Its the fetishization, hypocrisy and misogyny. There is nothing wrong with a virgin wanting another virgin. But when it becomes “a woman only has value if she is pure” bullshit is where its creepy and wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 11:02 PM
16

someone has to deem them undesirable right? a 18 year old virgin won’t know automatically that its wrong for that to be fetishized, someone has to tell those guys that its bad behavior, and tell the women not to interact with guys like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 10:53 PM
29

Because women have the capacity for empathy. its creepy for men to only want virgins. it gets weirder if that same man isn’t one himself, and if he only wants young virgins. We are concerned for these young women to interact with men like that. So if we can stop the problem at it source the virgins will be safe to not be creeped on.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 10:48 PM
7

Aside from the evolutionary reason, I’ll bring up another one. Safety. So many men present risk. Risk of death, assault, rape, or even just abuse. Its a big decision who to share your life with, so when the options presented to do this with can harm you, you end up more selective. I am only attracted to men who I can be safe with, and to be honest its a smaller number than you’d think.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 10:35 PM
2

This is a bit extreme but its what happened to me so I’d like your opinion. I dated a guy for 7 months who was kind and great. Then he raped me. Does that reflect poorly on me? How are you supposed to know if someone is a bad person until they do something bad? Why judge someone for the actions of others?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 10:13 PM
1

The answer to the question is it depends. But for me a guy smells nice by himself it’s attractive. And if he puts on cologne for date nite it just hits.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 10:08 PM
2

Genuine men, kind men, men who would make good fathers are very attractive. Ask any woman and she’ll likely agree that a guy who is good with kids is hot as hell. My bf I think would make a very good father and thats very attractive to me. Its not only that he is kind, but is strong enough to make decisions and take the lead when I can’t. Women are attracted to strength and stability, and the arrogance and “nice guy” shit is repulsive. Men like that are looking for a mommy to take care of them, …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 09:28 PM
2

I expect him to initiate that he wants to see me, and I don’t mind planning with him. That’s usually how it goes with my bf. We both initiate. I do a lot of the actual planning and logistics of the dates. But sometimes he surprises me and plans it all out, but I’m autistic and thats really stressful for me sometimes. He is kind and accommodating. I think the balance we have is nice, pretty 50/50. He tells me he wants to do something and has an inkling of an idea. I then come up with dates and ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 10:24 PM
14

Safety. Men don’t realize the physical risk you take when you start dating someone. With most of the men i’ve seen if they decided to kill/assault me that would just happen and there would be nothing I could do about it. A lot of dudes are in the “not all men” camp, or simply believe that because they never could do that to someone else that it isn’t a big and real threat. I could get a take classes and get pepper spray but in all reality I am at the mercy of men. So you have to be careful when …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 04:07 AM
1

hookup and boyfriend material is determined for me by how much I feel used for sex. If all you see me as is an just object to have sex with you won’t get any. If you treat me like enough of a person thats hookup material. If i don’t feel used at all then i’ll keep you around.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 03:58 AM
5

it is that simple, it’s just that some people believe that their behavior allows them to be entitled to a date. you’ll do just fine
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 08:05 PM
1

I’m gonna be real with u homie, I’m gonna delate this post and not be in this sub anymore. I was expecting some comments disagreeing, but not men doing the exact shit i was calling them out for. it’s unacceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 03:01 AM
2

on GOD my guy, i guess they needed to go somewhere
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:48 AM
1

Its that he was surprised that I could be intelligent. That it wasn’t on his radar as a possibility, and that he felt confident in saying he is into smarter girls like its a category like blonde. Its dehumanizing and patronizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:47 AM
0

How am I being naïve when they lie to my face? I know the “boys only want one thing” concept but when they tell me they want a relationship and tell me they are my boyfriend and then hit me once they get comfortable. That seems a little out of my hands.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:46 AM
0

What choice?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:44 AM
1

Is the point of dating to obtain sex? Is that the game being played?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:44 AM
1

I’m gonna be real, I have no words for this one. Its selfish to take care of your body, and that is juxtaposed against being wanted by other women. So the standard that is impossible is, a man who is kind to me. (I am not interested in any aggression) Listens to me. Takes care of himself. And is loyal? Am I missing something? I never said any of that in the original post but its fascinating how you got there.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:43 AM
0

How am I to know they are bad company when they lie about who they are and their intentions?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:38 AM
1

I am in counseling and I do have a case against the ex boyfriend but I doubt it will go anywhere. Where I live being under the influence of alcohol is a reasonable defense to rape and people get off because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:37 AM
0

What do I have to be accountable for?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:34 AM
0

How am I supposed to? Tell me. How can I tell the difference between a dude saying all the right things to try to get into my pants and a dude saying the same things genuinely? Its not my choice when they do shitty things. Thats on them. I continue to try to pick better. Whats the excuse for these men? Why do they get to act like that? How on god’s green earth is what they choose to do my fault?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:28 AM
1

Ah so you chose to take the false compliment someone offered me and turn it to say I am dumb. Classy. I never said all men, but that’s obvious. This is a call to action and your silence and complacency speaks volumes about your character. Thanks for not responding to the issue at hand
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:24 AM
1

How do you know? I haven’t been dating for that long. I don’t stick around for the guys who treats me poorly. I never said all men, but you know that. It doesn’t matter who I give a chance when the standard is to treat women like shit and then blame them for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:22 AM
2

I’ve learned that lesson the hard way. Thank you. Obviously you saw that I never said “all men” and it isn’t. Its just too many of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:17 AM
1

I hate to break it to you, but you have done the very thing I have described! I deserve to be treated shitty because the men I dated chose to treat me shitty? They get to treat me shitty because they are attractive? How does how attractive they are justify their behavior? Its my fault because I let them, right? The blame is always on the woman for “picking them” and never on the men who behave like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:01 AM
23

Women’s standards are increasing but that doesn’t mean that they are too high. We’ve put up with a lot of bullshit and a lot of women aren’t willing to do that anymore. So the men are whining about the adjustment. Women aren’t willing to put up with dudes they have to mother, with dudes doing the bare minimum and expecting praise for doing that. I broke up with a guy in February for being noncommittal and unempathetic to me (I was sick at that time) and he was shocked because nobody ever told hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 04:54 PM
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