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gendpurr Archive

View 0 posts and 65 comments by gendpurr on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
20

yeah i didn’t realize what a common tactic it was. feels better to know i’m not alone but sad that so many women have experienced it. wtf is wrong with people?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 12:17 AM
35

i so recommend it. however i have a permanent retainer which is a nightmare to floss around so it was a game changer for me! no more threading floss through metal
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 06:28 PM
57

waterpiks are lifesavers. everyone should have one!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 06:06 PM
208

i wouldn’t introduce my cat on a first date let alone a whole ass child. what is wrong with men???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 05:42 PM
198

that’s another thing i don’t understand… men will refuse to date single moms because “why should i do all that for someone else’s kids” and then get offended when women adopt a similar mindset 🤔 taking care of children is no joke, and getting involved with someone else’s children is no joke x 1000
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 05:40 PM
7

never got surgery but before i cut off my LVM father, because of his constant negging, i fully planned to get a nose job. It’s still not my favourite feature but without his awful voice in my ear ive definitely gotten much better self image. he used to neg me so much about every little thing i was thinking about/planning plastic surgery as young as 10. LVM father trauma is real, stay strong and meet yourself where you are queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 09:54 PM
202

i swear they do it on purpose… sometimes it’s like they get upset if you are enjoying it and do it just to power trip.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 01:01 PM
118

genuinely wtf is it with these men and waking up to BJs? i’ve commented about it before - it was my exes biggest fantasy and no matter how much he tried to get me to do it, i refused. even in that abusive relationship i couldn’t bring myself to do it no matter how he would find ways to punish me for it bc i would feel like a literal rapist performing sexual acts on someone who was still asleep, even when specifically asked or expected to do it. it does not excite, arouse, or interest me whatsoev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 12:19 AM
58

it’s the emotional version of their mindset on housework/cleaning: “mens work” is to mow the lawn, do random repairs as needed, etc. random things that are important but don’t take constant maintenance and upkeep and effort like “women’s” work: laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc. daily support (whether it’s cleaning or emotional) is “boring” and “routine” but random big shows of (their version if) masculinity are exciting, unpredictable, and easy, since it requires no regular maintenance!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 06:49 PM
31

this is all so true. one phenomenon in this category i’ve noticed as a younger, single woman, is that i experience this most often from older women in unsatisfying long term relationships / marriages. one woman who i work with that picks on me didn’t get a birthday present from her husband of 30 years. a majority of the women who act this way ramp it up times ten when they realize you’re single and happy, whilst they’ve wasted most of their lives with a LVM who forgets their birthdays. it’s like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 05:53 AM
16

you're not alone at all, i've been in similar situations and felt the same (and still do!) therapy, safely reintegrating the experiences/memories, etc... it's extremely difficult and at first it seems completely insurmountable but years later i'm doing better than ever. The body keeps the score was a very helpful book for me as it does have some details on therapeutic tactics as well. try out a lot of coping mechanisms, learn what works for you, or what specifically you need help coping with (fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 04:18 AM
24

YES i'm in the same boat. i'm not into huge height differences and i'd rather have someone close in height to me. i'm a bit taller than you but it's never me who has a problem, it's always the men who are upset. THEYRE the ones who are into those big awkward height differences and make it a problem. it's so dumb. any guy close in height with me that i've gone out with has been all insecure about it. they shoot themselves in the foot w their stank attitudes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 01:52 PM
16

one thing that's helped me with intuition work comes from lundy bancroft- there's a part in WDHDT where he says that when trying to reason with an abusers friends/family, ask/remind who's "banner they're carrying" when they justify, rationalize, or try to explain away your partners abusive behaviours. (this is very rough paraphrasing.) however i found it helpful to internalize- whenever i get that intuition feeling and then i get in a spiral of doubt or fear, i ask myself, who's banner am i carr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 04:56 PM
273

the aversion to sensual touch is SO TRUE. my ex got mad because i "never let him touch me" - but all he did was grope and grab or slap my ass when he walked by. he never did small stuff that i did for him, or if he did it was always a precursor to sex and led quite quickly back into groping anyways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 01:50 PM
18

almost anything lundy bancroft writes has been worth checking out in my experience. his knowledge has absolutely saved my life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 09:35 PM
116

my ex was exactly like that, a buyer. hundreds of $$$ spent on expensive, top of the line stuff that he never used, or only used once. he had no problem spending thousands on fancy things for himself that never got used, but would whine about buying us coffee, and once picked a very public fight over a $3 sticker i asked him to buy as a gift for a mutual friend. he spent hundreds that day on vintage gaming stuff for himself at that store. 🤡🚮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 04:11 AM
40

i swear it's some weird control thing. i can't imagine why else every woman has a story about a guy doing this, it has to be deliberate at least some of the time 🚮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:23 AM
18

i'm bi and same! the only time i've ever considered splitting the bill is when i wasn't really interested or unsure about someone (and even then i never actually did that... but at one point in my dating life it did occasionally cross my mind lol) i could never look someone in the face and ask them to pay for something on a date i asked for. even with close friends - if i bring up an idea i'm usually prepared to pay their half, and the idea of ever asking to split is just so embarrassing to me. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 12:00 AM
64

YUP. in my experience, if droves of men are coming out in support of something, there's a 0% chance it's actually empowering for women!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 10:44 PM
43

YES. my ex was the same and he would also ask me to wake him up like that - it was one of his biggest fantasies 🙄🙄 - and i was like, wtf? why would i want to basically molest you while you're unconscious? how is that sexy? i never did it but even years later, i don't know if i'll ever be comfortable sharing a bed with a man again. i could never let my guard down because of it. absolute sickos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 06:49 PM
46

this is so funny to me because all my favourite books are written by women, and whenever i read books written by men, i'm so taken aback! a lot of male lit really pales in comparison to the talent of female writers in many instances imho 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 04:03 AM
7

oh my god this lmao... for me the one i always hear is "i don't deserve you." like okay... leave me alone then? be more deserving? sounds like a you problem sir 🤡 they say stuff like this (partially) so they can justify how they inevitably hurt the people around them. it's a rationalization to themselves as to why they behave the way they do. if a man tells you he doesn't deserve you (in any form!) he will go out of his way to prove it! block and delete!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 06:20 AM
32

when i was on hinge, there was a lot of "first round is on me if second round is on you!" on their profiles... like who is matching with that 🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 04:19 PM
2

i love that, a place to punish you in new scenery. 100% been there and it's terrifying, i was out of country and totally trapped. had to just do whatever he said, didn't enjoy the trip at all, was undoubtedly one of the worst experiences with my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 04:00 AM
4

no ideas, just sharing support and also to say i've noticed the same thing - last summer i was harassed less, if anything! it was very pleasant! but since this is the second pandemic summer, scrotes here are out in full force. i guess they've accepted the new normal lol. every single day i've gone out i've been harassed. i just ignore it because i don't know what else to do, i worry that reacting at all - even negatively - just gives them attention they want :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:57 AM
69

number 3 is so important. i let my ex talk me out of hormonal BC for so long (because he thought it would make me not want him anymore 🤔🙄) even though he refused to wear a condom. i took plan B 3 times, twice in a 4 week span. it was awful. do NOT let men have input on these choices. your reproductive health (from birth control to babies) is 100% YOUR OWN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 05:56 AM
13

i swear, any guy who's messaged me for "closure" has either been 1. twisting the knife as they exit my life or 2. trying to get back in my pants (or some combination thereof.) so whenever a guy messages "for closure" that's a red flag to me now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 07:28 AM
3

not the cherno-boy💀 (i'm so sorry to hear that, hopefully she comes to her senses)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 05:21 AM
24

this is me. have lost three friends in the past two years because i asked them to stop asking me for dating advice, because every time i did they'd say i was shrew, cold, rude... the best reward u get from setting those boundaries is peace, 100% worth it lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:25 AM
90

i'm in the same boat. recently lost/dumped a very close friend and upon closer examination i realized that even though i was going all out or doing stuff like this, we had never celebrated my birthday once. I know some ppl joke abt their love language being gifts but mine legit is!! stuff like this is a good reminder that it's gotta be worth holding out for people who reciprocate that energy 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:33 AM
14

my mom has a similar attitude. very quickly learned to do the opposite of whatever she says when it comes to men, lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 07:28 AM
33

yeah, if being degraded, abused, choked, and spit on was so freeing, liberating, and normal (sexually), men would be lining up to be on the receiving end of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 06:38 AM
8

yep. when i left i would cry everytime i had to go to work, and i kept visine on me so i could cry in the bathroom on my breaks, put in eye drops, and act like nothing happened, lol. And that was pretty common. it's the most exhausting, demeaning, dehumanizing job i have ever worked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 08:53 PM
240

i wish. working customer service i had so many handsy customers, and if i did anything but stand and smile i would've lost my job. part of why i left. fucking awful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:19 AM
7

my ex was like this, but instead, whenever i wore something revealing, he'd give himself points because he "let me." one time, I was upset at him, because i didn't feel free, and i told him. he pulled up my social media, pointed at a pictures of me in a tank top, or a crop top, and said, "i let you post this, that's more than some guys would do." 🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:04 AM
2

this dude is totally a controlling sack of shit. this is stuff my ex said to me all the time - once, he blew up on me in public, in the middle of a store, because i "expected" him to buy me a $5 sticker that was a gift for a mutual friend. he did shit like that all the time because you should be grateful and you shouldn't expect things from me. and all that nonsense. this pissed me off majorly. what an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 07:40 AM
8

it's a meme but it's REAL. my nvm father chewed with his mouth open at every fucking meal and i yelled at him every time. to this day it is still something i REFUSE to put up with. chew with ya mouth closed!!! no one wants to see ur food!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 06:13 AM
49

holy fuck, my ex did this. he was in the bathroom with me once (we were together for a long time, a long time ago) and he said "no wonder you take so long and use so much TP. you just sit there and wipe until nothing comes off." the first sentence is a direct quote. i remember it exactly years later because i thought he was joking. i couldn't believe it. who doesn't wipe their own ass more than once?? and wet wipes??? so yeah, men are throwing stones from some VERY glass houses when it comes to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:56 AM
9

"i can suddenly cook at the 6month mark" got me 🤣 but i agree. i hate the empty words men will give. like when a man bothers me to tell me i'm pretty or something... i know i'm pretty, i can tell myself i'm pretty, so what was the point? to waste my time with the audacity? i agree. unless they're tryna give a discount or put the money where their compliments are then it's just dust on the wind. keep it up queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:48 AM
12

PLEASE DO THIS. luckily my abusive nvm ex never did anything this serious but 2+yrs post break up i recently (around the start of quarantine) got a notif that he went on my old PINTEREST account. (i cant even imagine the logic there except to terrorize me for daring to move on from him years later.) i freaked and changed every single other password i could think of. Queens, he even had my BANK password (he was controlling af), and i shudder to think of the damage he could've done. i had a few ot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:43 AM
2

i just finished s4! they finally put it on canadian netflix.... so many tears! it's incredible and i love the way they explore moral/ethics stuff too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 05:22 PM
4

thank you! i always hated OLD. i never ended up even meeting someone and deleted my acc soon after i made it. i felt like i was objectifying myself and the people i chose to math with at the same time and it was exhausting me emotionally. dating is hard and OLD just made it even harder for me. (love the Kant reference btw!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 05:42 AM
12

yep. this is also why i find oversharing this stuff early on (before it's appropriate) to be a red flag as well. he's just preparing his excuses for later!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 05:28 AM
2

vouching for the journaling idea! it always helps me, i can't recommend it enough to people
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:56 AM
8

you hit the nail on the head - men love these tropes because it's just another way to avoid accountability. disgusting!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:48 AM
6

yep. part of why i stopped using OLD - that quirky self depreciation is NOT cute and NOT how you set a good first impression... these men are just telling on themselves. boy bye
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:45 AM
13

yep... worship is the bare minimum. if there isn't mutual joy it's not adding shit to my life. i'm overjoyed to be with myself, if that isn't shared they're just bringing me down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:44 AM
8

abusive man, seeking perfect victim... this reads like it's straight up lifted from an SVU episode, holy shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:43 AM
30

anything "motherly" about a guys dating preference is among the REDDEST of FLAGS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:41 AM
53

yep, me too. smacked a lot shoulders and gotten a lot of rude glares. i'll move a reasonable amount (especially w/COVID) but i'm not rearranging my whole self for a selfish man who thinks he owns the world. Feels awesome
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:38 AM
14

my ex did the same thing, same relationship dynamics (i was also 15.) I didn't leave him until i was almost 19 and when he accused me of not trying hard enough, it was the worst. especially in hindsight. like, i gave my childhood. how is that not giving enough? absolutely trash, these men! lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:37 AM
7

Lundy Bancroft touches on that in "Why Does He Do That." that book changed my life, and i wouldn't have been able to leave my abuser for good without it, it was so empowering, and i still read it regularly. Every woman ever should read it, and every young woman i know will be getting a copy for christmas, lolol. it's like my bible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:36 AM
6

good on you for getting out - i've never done that with my ex cause i just KNOW he's doing "well" and it pisses me off. i trust karma and their own bad behaviour to get to them. anyways i just wanted to say... good job surviving. he's not worth ur time and as time goes on that feeling of freedom increases. it's everything and more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:21 AM
1

for sure - i don't ever put effort into "figuring people out." best case scenario men like that are losers who like the chase, and well... you already mentioned the worst case scenario. it for sure took me by surprise as i have known him for multiple years, and we've always been friendly. i had no real idea he saw the world around him like that until he went off in my messages. it was absolutely disgusting to watch someone i thought was a friend turn into a bloodless asshole in the span of a few…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 04:22 AM
1

yeah, it's disgusting. the internet has really become such a fertile ground for that ideology, and it's definitely catching on more to young men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 04:19 AM
15

that's absolutely repulsive. i was with my ex for years and one (among many) things that helped me leave was advice i was given once - "if you marry him, you marry his family." And from the sounds of it, these asshole guys had similar family. I can't even imagine how vulnerable you were and horrific that was, but i can relate to the cruelty from someone who is supposed to value you, feeling preyed upon like that. Good fucking riddance to them (and their families)!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 07:34 PM
9

yep, did the same gross stuff when i was in active addiction too... the fact that he saved it was an immediate red flag for me. (stay strong!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 07:23 PM
15

boundary advice that always helps me when i find myself getting pressed about other people's (esp men's) behaviour: not my monkeys, not my circus!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 07:16 PM
24

yes!!! was chatting with a man recently who seemed to be okay - i met him a few years ago and we were always acquaintances but we started chatting more in quarantine. I always go for a more, be friends first route if i'm not on OLD. He owns a business, has almost completed his degree, ive known him for years, etc. In a recent conversation he showed his WHOLE ASS in my DMs going off about how women won't date "under 7's," and "guys will fuck down but they won't date down," and all this weird ince…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 07:13 PM
30

my ex bf was the same! and his mother was just as bad. she refused to talk to me because she heard my ex yelling at me, and decided she didn't like someone who would upset her son so much, and constantly told me about how much she missed my ex's previous girlfriend. (the apple didn't fall far from the tree with my nv ex and his family, lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 07:05 PM
22

and it's also completely untrue. i come from a traditional old school italian family, and my grandmother babies tf out of my father (and his brothers) and my father would constantly make fun of her accent (1st gen immigrant), weight, etc, behind her back, even though he was regularly staying with her rent free, and used her for childcare. It's not always unconditional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 07:03 PM
50

i swear this is why i got so many UTIs/general issues with my ex... men really be so fucking filthy 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 05:43 AM
2

this hit the nail on the head! it makes me feel better that there's a name for this, as i was in a "hurt locker" situation in my last job. he was a lot of things i wanted to be; fashionable, good in his field, well travelled. improving in the ways you admire instead of unhealthily obsessing is such a good redirect of that energy!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:38 AM
4

the part of you that's angry is the part of you that loves you and knows you deserved better. for me, what helped is listening to it and working with it - anger is a very powerful and deep emotion, and when you redirect it to something productive, it can benefit you twice-fold: you get to work with and through your emotions and you get to improve yourself, your skills, or general life in even a small way! i'm in a similar boat, it gets better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:31 AM
2

I strongly prefer doing something with someone overall as a first date because my food issues so i get where you're coming from completely lol one of the best dates i ever went on was live/theatre stuff, opera is quite fun as well, or like kittypoison mentioned a class, etc. (stay strong! you're worth it. recovery isn't easy but just take it one day at a time<3)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:14 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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