Insecure NVM bs

19Bubbles98 · 2020-10-23T14:28:43+00:00

Weird how men don't want their gfs revealing cos they think they are sex objects but they will stare at any women im their vicinity

tallwomenneedlovetoo · 2020-10-23T15:32:33+00:00

I hate this. Hate it. I wear what I want, when I want, and my husband is more than happy to buy the clothes I want for me because they make me happy.

In college, I was shopping with a friend and her boyfriend and she picked up a pair of shorts. He took it, held it up to her body and said “fingertip check!” As though he was a principal policing this grown ass woman’s body in the name of keeping order! I popped him on the nose (like a dog with an ad paper they handed us at JC Penney when we walked in) so quickly that I didn’t even realize I’d moved. And do you think this dingy ass scrote offered to pay for the paltry selection of clothes that he approved of? Nope. Not even after I loudly hinted/told him that if he wants her to dress a certain way, at the very least, he ought to be subsidizing it.

Meanwhile, I was already married and he was making jokes that my husband “””lets””” me dress how I want because he gets some kind of sexual pleasure from other men finding me attractive. Nah, boy; he doesn’t “let” me do anything. He recognizes that I’m a grown woman into fashion and has no wish to have any say in what I wear beyond telling me I look gorgeous every time I leave the house. Because I do 💁🏾‍♀️

strcrssdvoyager · 2020-10-23T15:44:59+00:00

So my friend has a lot of male friends and whenever I hang out with her, her male friends ALWAYS ask me "Is your husband ok with you hanging out with us?" "Will your husband be mad at you for being here with us?" "Are you sure your husband wants you riding in a car with us?"

It creeps me out and I sometimes end up going home earlier than I intended. It makes me think they have nefarious plans for the night and are afraid my husband is going to attack them or something. Why else would they care so much about my husband?

"Men respect men" after all.

lilithdianara · 2020-10-23T16:09:52+00:00

Even in my worst pickme days, I’ve never let a man police what I wear. The idea of some dumb, jobless, premature ejaculator with a lower than hell EQ telling me what to wear thoroughly disgusts me. I LOVE wearing flattering clothing that shows off my best assets FOR me, so I can stare at myself in the mirror and take pleasure at the divine being in front of me. My mother, despite being a pickme, taught me growing up that being a woman means owning your clothing choices too.

Always find it funny when men make this about them. Like no sweetie, no woman buys expensive clothing to impress your dusty ass..

RamenUndergraduate · 2020-10-23T17:31:13+00:00

My friend and I went to Sephora and we were so excited to check out new products. While I was grabbing items on the shelf like a mad man lol I noticed she would just follow me around. I figured money was tight.. so I just kept my opinions to myself. As we were browsing lipsticks she told me, "Tbh my husband just hates makeup. Especially lipsticks... he actually WORE my favorite dark lipstick to prove a point lol.. when I started laughing at him...he said he had the same reaction when I wore it. Now I know how ridiculous lipsticks look on me lol." I was like okayyyy .... we then headed to another store... again she was following me around everywhere... I picked up a shirt & she said,"My husband hates those type of clothes lol. He goes out with me whenever I need to buy new outfits... I don't really care about clothes anymore tbh... Lastime I was wearing a shirt and he told me it was too sexy ... he was there when we bought it!" (side note:her recent wardrobe ages her... she's 25) at this point I was so done w/ her I came to the mall to live my best life & spend my $$$$$$ lol not talk about your controlling as husband all day. Before we left the mall we headed to a restaurant & she order the cheapest thing and again said, "My husband doesn't want me spending too much... so I'm just going to order an appetizer & water." Girl.... I WAS DONE lol! I told her exactly how I felt about her man but she keept insisting he was a "good guy" I left it at that.... never invited her out again... let her live in peace w/ her cheap ass man. A couple months later she ended up calling me and you'd never guess who was being abused? I know right shocker!

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-10-23T16:21:33+00:00

Just remember, this kind of controlling behavior is one of the first signs of an abuser. A lot of dudes think it's fine so they will do it very early on. If you're two weeks into dating a man and he has started to tell you what you're allowed to wear or accusing you of things because you're dressed up looking cute, GTFO.

Journalist_Full · 2020-10-23T15:07:27+00:00

Mad that I have actually said this. I used to also say "my bf wont let me"

petitpoupee · 2020-10-23T15:35:34+00:00

Had a friend like that (who belongs on the pickmeisha trone) who used to wear more revealing clothes before she met her groomer (he was 24 and she was 16) and uses his religion to tell her that she should hide her curves and wouldn’t let her wear things. Pickmeisha did it gladly and started calling girls sluts, whores... because they post pictures of themselves in bikini. She even stated that those girls didn’t respect themselves or their relationship and that their guy was cuckold to ‘allow’ such things 🤦🏽‍♀️ even FDS can’t help her tbh

Confection_Efficient · 2020-10-23T19:13:34+00:00

So ridiculous. I had a bf who told me he didn’t like it when I wore lipstick. I was miffed and rebellious simultaneously. I decided that no man was going to dictate my physical appearance.

Later that day he picked me up for our fifth date in which I wore a full face of makeup and three layers of red lipstick :)

gendpurr · 2020-10-24T05:04:39+00:00

my ex was like this, but instead, whenever i wore something revealing, he'd give himself points because he "let me."

one time, I was upset at him, because i didn't feel free, and i told him. he pulled up my social media, pointed at a pictures of me in a tank top, or a crop top, and said, "i let you post this, that's more than some guys would do." 🤢🤮

afrodeasyak · 2020-10-23T23:47:33+00:00

I'd always cringe when friends would claim that their boyfriend or husband wouldn't approve of an outfit or item of clothing. Oh and cue the explanation after I clearly roll my eyes at them "It's not what you think! I actually love that about him" yeah sure ya do..NEXT

coffeebagelsfordays · 2020-10-24T03:56:09+00:00

Ugh. I read this and cringe so hard at my pickmeisha self back in the days. I thought my LV ex was right; that if he wasn't comfortable with what I wore I should be the one making compromises. It didn't matter that I wore this exact "problematic" clothes back before he cuffed me but all a sudden it made him uneasy.

FFS. I get so mad thinking about it now but I've vowed to never let ANYONE dictate wtf I wear, how I talk, ANYTHING about me. That chapter of my life is over.

2020-10-24T00:42:44+00:00

The only man I respect enough to let have an opinion on how I dress is my father. And you know how many times he’s tried to tell me what to wear? Zero.

MisseusC10 · 2020-10-23T15:28:49+00:00

My boyfriend is kinda like this, he doesn't tell me what to wear but sometimes he tells me that my clothes are too revealing or im showing off too much skin. And he doesn't look at other girls or something. He is very faithful and loyal, he just doesn't want me wearing revealing clothes . Is this a red flag?

Equal-Ear2312 · 2020-10-27T18:45:38+00:00

when I was in college, I suffered the innumerable pickmes always complaining about that.

"my bf would never let me.... blah blah"

as if their form of ownership over these girls was something to brag about.

"look at me, at least I got picked!"

-

I have a girl in my yoga class whose phone rings right after class. guess what? it's her BF, "asking nicely" (demanding) for her to come home (ASAP). She cannot even socialize with the rest of us because.. "ummm I have a boyfriend, at least I got picked!"

girl, please!

2020-10-24T03:50:51+00:00

its not really a problem to me and i respect it but only if the man listens to everything i tell him.

Title	Insecure NVM bs
Author	azureangel35
Upvotes	724
Comments	36
Date	October 23, 2020 2:20 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jgo0a4/insecure_nvm_bs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/insecure-nvm-bs.321416 https://theredarchive.com/post/321416

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