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View 2 posts and 91 comments by glassofwater05 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

glassofwater05/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 01:36 PM
2

glassofwater05/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 02:01 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

So the mortgage is in her name. Are you on the deed? When my ex and I bought our last home (18 months pre divorce), she was the only name of the mortgage, but she immediately did a quit claim and put me on the deed. Did you also do this? It still may be marital in your state either way, but that's why you must get a lawyer now. You need to either sell the house and split the proceeds, or she'll have to buy you out.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 12:47 PM
1

Why wear at the strip club? I'm truly curious.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 10:05 AM
3

I lived with her for 6 months during the separation. I didn't want the divorce, but that process helped me realize that I wanted her out of my face. I started dating the moment she moved out. I didn't want to see her dating, so I didn't throw anything in her face. I've seen enough posts in here where someone had to endure watching their ex get ready for dates. That's so cruel, and even though she wanted out, I still think that could have been painful for her to see. It would have crushed me to w…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 01:39 PM
4

I did the same thing and signed up for premium om Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble. Went on 6 dates in two weeks. I've been seeing an age appropriate chick for 6 weeks now who I met on Tinder. I connect with her on levels that I never connected with my ex on. This woman is fun, thoughtful, cute enough, and kinky after. She is down for all the things my ex didn't like that I wanted. She is horny af, she tells me I'm hot and that I'm "so fucking sexy." No one has ever said that shit to me. Most of all, s…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 04:37 PM
1

Are you asking whether you have to pay spousal support to someone in prison?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 12:39 AM
3

I've had the best luck with Tinder and Bumble. I just met an awesome woman on Tinder. Getting dates on both was pretty easy for me. I'm nothing special. I'm in my early 50s, slightly overweight, and I don't make a lot of money (put my profession on my profile to manage expectations). I also have young children. I think going for the premium stuff was really helpful. I probably spent too much, I just wanted to see what would happen if I set up profiles on the major sites and went balls to the wal…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 06:48 PM
4

Thank you. I've been officially divorced for 30 hours, and I feel exactly the same way. I had a ton of shit thrown at me at once, and I feel like a new person. I've never been this happy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 03:30 AM
8

When I asked my stbxw the same question, she replied, "If you really loved me, you would have known what I wanted."
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 02:31 AM
4

Not only did I do it, I did it even after my older sister told me not to. She basically said it would make me look like a pussy and drive her farther away. She was right, and it did.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 06:00 PM
1

Our settlement specifically restricts travel to non Hague Convention countries. What is the reason she wants to bring them there? If she has deep ties to the country, I'd be concerned that she will stay and you'll never see your kids again. It happens all the time. Are you in the US? Airlines usually want a notarized letter stating that the other parent is allow the trip.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 04:48 PM
1

Models was great. I think it is a great read after reading Rollo's Players Handbook. Models builds upon Players Hanbook, but I think it lays out a more nuanced approach.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 12:02 PM
3

Rational Male, and the rest of his series, changed my outlook early on in the divorce process. I was so depressed and desperate to win her back. Those books saved me. "The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck" and "Models" by Mark Manson also helped me a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 11:57 AM
3

Divorce sucks. I'm hopefully at the tail end of mine. Somehow my sweet, smart, moral, and beautiful wife turned into a resentful, nihilist, fat, home wrecker that is messing with a married man and sending people nudes. Don't shoot for stability. You need to have an established career before you even think of marriage. What until you are established and in your mid-30s before you settle down. At that point, you will have a lot more value to women and you will be able to attract a much higher qual…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 11:52 PM
8

That's why I just got snipped. I'm done with kids, and the last thing I want is to fall for someone who is hot and younger only to end up as a twice divorced 60yo with a toddler.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 11:37 AM
2

I probably will, but there are strategic reasons I don't want to do it yet. Also, while I think I have her contact info, I don't know her, and they live in a different state. Either way, she can't know who I am for multiple reasons, and I can't provide proof. I'm just going to have to give the information that will allow her to catch them in the act. I don't think I have that info just yet.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 04:12 PM
3

I totally get this. I discovered that my STBXW was having an online relationship with a married man. They plan to hook up as soon as our divorce is final. They started their thing just before she filed for divorce, so while I contributed to the breakup of the marriage, there was a major outside factor that I had no control of. She has known this person for years, and while I always suspected she had a crush on him, I'm not a jealous person. I trusted her. Pretty sure he had been dropping hints t…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 03:01 PM
20

My stbxw is crying a lot lately as well. We are finalizing our agreement and are still living together. She wanted it. I didn't and I still don't even though I know she is involved in an online situationship. It is just so hard not to melt when I see her cry. She isn't doing it to be manipulative. She just says that it is so sad. I feel like such a fool, but the process is almost over.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 07:52 PM
1

Oops. That's a typo. I meant too FAR.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 11:49 AM
5

That was my first thought. "Hey, if you are going to do that shit in front of me, I'll take it as an invitation." Might at least get them to stop. I do think it is a little disrespectful, but the OP should probably just extricate himself from the situation and let it slide. Not worth making a big issue out of it. Testing the waters for a threesome in a joking way may be light hearted way to tell them to knock it off.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 10:57 AM
1

Thought about that, but probably too fat for this trip. Edit: Thailand it too far for this trip. It's funny, working out has actually been my savior during this awful process. For the first time in my life, ai have been exercising regularly. 5 miles on the treadmill everyday for the past 4 months.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 10:09 AM
1

Interesting. Why?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 02:51 AM
2

I gave up my passion for what would have been an amazing career just so I could be by her side. I had a choice - her or my career. I picked her only to be punished for that decision for our entire marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 02:28 AM
7

Well, I supported my wife through her advanced degree and the years when she didn't make shit. I bought our first house when she was still in school. I picked a line of work that requires an advanced degree, but it doesn't pay nearly as much as her profession does. I make 50% of what she does, but I am definitely not a looser. If a professor married a medical doctor would you consider the professor a looser?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 01:53 AM
2

Still living with the woman who broke my heart. I go back and forth with my feelings multiple times a day, and I'm looking forward to the day when I don't have to see her on a daily basis (got a few more weeks until she is gone). She sheds tears, and I act foolish - like I think she finally cares about what she has done to me and our family only to realize that those tears were based on something else like money.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 11:35 PM
6

Thanks. I went shopping for pain and I found it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 10:47 PM
7

I know that feeling. Still living with my stbxw. We were married for over 17 years. It is so shitty to not be a part of her life anymore except for issues about our child and our divorce. She doesn't know that I know she has another man. He is the one that gets to hear about her day. Some days I hate her, and some days I can't get over how beautiful she is
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 10:20 PM
6

If the shoe was on the other foot, would you have tipped off his girlfriend if you knew who she was?
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 11:37 PM
2

I'm in a similar boat. She doesn't know I know, and it is so hard not to mention it. If I do, I will wait until everything is done. Part of me doesn't want to be a part of blowing up a family. They blew up mine, but he has kids, and they would suffer. Nonetheless, wife does have a right to know. I'm torn.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 04:32 PM
2

Same here. I can't wait. Don Draper pad.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 06:29 PM
1

Taking any antidepressants? SSRI's can make it difficult to climax. I had that issue before the divorce along with ED. Pretty sure it made her think I didn't want her anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 09:56 PM
3

I'm in a very similar situation. In my state it seems that I can't look at anything that is password protected, and I would have to "hack" to get in. We have a common iPad that she is signed into with her Google account, so without entering a password, I can see her history, activity and timeline in maps. I know where she goes and what she is searching for when using that one phone. It has helped me piece things together. My lawyer seems to agree that this is probably ok. If I had to guess a pas…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 02:00 AM
21

Yup. And when I look back at my stbxw, I was definitely of it. I just have to keep reminding myself of what a terrible lay she was.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 02:42 PM
4

I listened too all of these books while working out. Great for motivation. So is a little Tool and Deftones:)
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 02:39 PM
3

Also like Models by Mark Manson. In addition, don't forget the other books in the rational male series - especially Players Handbook and Preventative Medicine. I think Models is great to read after the Rational Male books. If you think Rollo is a little too harsh, Models is similar, but with a softer and more positive approach. All of these books changed my outlook in my divorce. I'm in my early 50's and I was diabetic and out of shape. I have worked out every day for the past 4 months. I never …
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 02:33 PM
7

Yup. She told me all of this crap when she filed, but I have come to find out that it was another guy who happens to be married.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 01:48 AM
3

Thanks. My text actually makes it seem like I am more broken up about things than I am. I certainly don't want her anymore. She is pathetic, and she has lost her moral compass.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 11:10 AM
21

I know. This is my support system: that dude, his wife, my older sister and my therapist. I didn't ask for the divorce, and I think she should be more than happy for me to have something to take my mind off off how much of a bitch she is. To add fuel to the fire, she makes $150k/yr and while she doesn't know that I know this, she filed for divorce because she has fallen for a long-time work colleague and he has given her the pleasure of sending him nudes and vids of her masturbating. She is a pa…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 03:42 AM
28

And my stbxw is trying to make the case I am diminishing the marital estate by having a burger and a beer with my only friend once a week and taking an Uber.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 03:24 AM
2

Same
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 12:45 AM
3

That's the key. The anger is great fuel for my workouts.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:50 PM
10

I am right there with you. She gave me a laundry list of reasons she wanted the divorce. Were her reasons valid concerns? Yes, but they were not deal breakers in any relationship. All were fixable with some changes, better communication, and marriage counseling. I begged her for a month, told her I would do anything to save our family, but she was completely unreceptive. She said there was no one else. It was all my fault. Found out last week she is having an online affair with a married man she…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 11:50 AM
6

Health insurance - absolutely. You could br screwed financially if something happens, and something happening is more likely than not. Life insurance - depends on your age. If your employer offers is, take it. Almost everyone I've worked for includes is anyway. Breast reduction - if you really love her, you wouldn't want her to be in pain. Glass half full here, maybe she can also get a little work done on their shape to make them look perfect as well, albeit a little smaller.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 09:35 AM
2

Similar position. We are still living together, but are separated. She ditched me like I was garbage, and I was in disbelief that she could do that after all the years we have been together. I just found out why it was so easy for her to check out. She has been having a long distance affair (sexting, and sending videos..., but nothing physical yet) with a dude she worked with for several years. He is married. Both have security clearances. They are making plans to hook up on a romantic getaway a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 05:02 PM
2

I also liked NMMNG, but I liked the Rational Male series more. Building on that, Models by Mark Manson was great to get me in the mindset of being in the dating world again. It is different from the Rational Male Players Handbook, but there is some overlap. The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck was good too. It is interesting to see the overlap with the books, and how they come to similar conclusions but with different mindsets. It is that overlap that is forming my new mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 12:30 PM
5

Right there with you. I'm working out like a maniac the last couple days after I found out something that my stbxw, who I still live with, has been doing since we separated. It has been a hard couple days, but I am leaning on my family and friends, and trying to keep as busy as I can. We will get over them. I know I will get over her, but I don't know when.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 02:56 PM
1

I was thinking the same thing. In my state there isn't a set formula for alimony. The divorce is no fault but how you behaved during the marriage can be a factor in how much is awarded. Behavior isn't things like changing diapers or doing dishes, but abuse and infidelity are considered. OP should try to get some proof.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 02:02 PM
3

I second the 280z. I want a Lincoln Continental Mark III or maybe a Mark IV. My dad always drove those, and I have been wanting one lately.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 10:08 AM
1

Sounds like we are in equally shitty situations. My stbxw is a lawyer, btw. I supported her when she was in law school. I bought our first house with my money and my credit and she didn't bring shit into the marriage. Her parents didn't even pay for our wedding. I am fortunate that she isn't an awful person, and I think we can come to an agreement. Unfortunately, her being a good person makes this even harder to deal with. I still love her, but I've accepted the situation. We are fortunate that …
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 11:21 PM
1

If I was a sahm, 6 years of support would be the norm, but my lawyer said that courts and mediation can be biased against sahds. TBF, I should have gotten back into the workforce sooner, but I did some career coaching to see if there was a more lucrative path for me. She always hated the stress of being the breadwinner and kind of felt my career was a joke. I'm only asking for two years which will basically cover rent. There will also be child support. I still have student loans from grad school…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 10:06 PM
1

Thanks. That is an option I wasn't thinking of. What if she does it before the the account is frozen? My understanding is it isn't frozen until the RBCO is issued. If she does that, how does this split work with outstanding loans. Keep in mind that this would be an negotiated settlement and it would not get to the point of a judge making the decision.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 04:16 PM
1

We would be married for 18 years by the time everything is settled, and we have been married for her entire career. This would be a settlement between us with the hope of wrapping everything up before it gets to a judge, or even mediation. We don't have a lot of cash, but we have her TSP. We have very little home equity, because we bought in 2021 with 5% down. She makes $150k and is in the middle of her career. I'm in my 50's, I was a SAHD during the pandemic, and while I'm trying like hell to g…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 04:13 PM
1

She is, and she will be for at least 12 more years. Do you know how the division works if there are outstanding loans? I know there is a "with loans" and a "without loans" calculation but I'm not sure how that works.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 02:27 PM
1

I get that, but this would be done with both of our blessings. Nothing would be hidden, and because neither of us would complain, it wouldn't be a violation of the status quo. Also, it is my understanding that nothing is frozen until the RBCO is issued (basically a QDRO for a TSP). I can be totally off here. I only know a little about this stuff. Thanks for the explaination.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 02:24 PM
1

What does that mean? I'm not well-versed in fed speak or accounting. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 02:07 PM
7

Do you have any suggestions for books on dating for someone in my position? Contrary to popular opinion, I do think single mothers are going to be my best source for dates. Ideally, I'd like to find women in their early to mid 40's. Since I have a young child, I think it would be best to find women in a similar situation, so they will likely be younger than me. A lot of the books I have been reading seem like they are for younger men meeting younger women. My situation: The transformation you de…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 04:35 PM
1

This would be my concern. Is she a dual citizen in this country? Is there a possibility that she won't come back?
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 12:45 PM
5

Was in the same situation last month. Fortunately, my birthday was a couple weeks before. She got me a card and a small, silly gift, both from our son. I did the same. A card and a coffee mug - both from our son. I did make her a nice dinner, but it was a milestone birthday, and I wanted a nice dinner. Had she not decided to blow up our family, we should have been sitting on a beach that week to celebrate. If you don't have a kid, get her a non romantic card, and just sign your name. No Love, [y…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 05:31 PM
4

I don't want to get divorced but my wife does. She can list a ton of reasons why she wants to split, but I think it comes down to one thing: those reasons, and her internal thought process, combined with her inability to communicate her needs, has caused her to no longer want me anymore. There is nothing I can do about that. I think it comes down to something very simple. Aside from infidelity, abuse or substance issues, you should ask yourselves if you still desire each other. If the desire is …
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 03:37 PM
6

Please listen/read the Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. It totally helped me put things into perspective. One of the other books in the series, preventative medicine, has a chapter dedicated to what you are going through. His brother in law committed suicide after a divorce, so he had a mission to make sure others don't. I've been married for 18 years to a great woman. She is cute, successful, fun... she filed in December, and I was right where you are. Had I read this book years ago, I'd still b…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 05:19 PM
3

It is hard. She filed in December and it was a major surprise for me. At first I was devastated, but after some red pill learning, I have begun to think about a new future. I have been hunting for a new job (left workforce during covid), so if I can land something with a purpose, I'll be able to start fresh. Money is tight, and she was the breadwinner, so I'm hoping the settlement will help me start over. We are still living together. It is awkward at times, but I think we are getting along ok. …
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 01:23 PM
1

I'm also trying to give up hope. She filed, there isn't another man. I honestly think she is chasing after what she fantasized I would turn out to be. We still live together, and while we are getting along pretty well, internally, I bouce between wanting to hate her and wanting to screw her. She checked out a while ago, and has said that I am free to date. I'm not going to, because I don't want her to start dating right in front of my face. She was a virgin when we got together, so I'm not sure …
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 03:25 PM
1

I know. It just took a while for her true colors to come out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 12:46 PM
3

Getting some strange.. Getting a nice pad in a highrise downtown with a pool so my boy can go swimming during us time with me. Changing my lifestyle from a suburban homeowner to a urban renter. Pretty simple stuff, although bumming it in Mexico sounds pretty nice. Wish I had the cash for that.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 01:29 PM
1

Neither my wife nor me update our fb pages anymore. We are going through the process now, and I admit, I have checked to see if she has updated her status to single. She has not and neither have I. Sad thing is most of the pics are of the two of us having a great time.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 05:13 AM
5

That's where I am. One caveat: she was the breadwinner by far. I've focused on nonprofit work where she became an attorney (yes, I supported her through law school, but she'll never admit it). In the end, I'm standing here as a man that will stand by her until she dies and will make her and my son the focus of my life. That is my problem. I surrendered frame. Yes, I love her but I have to be willing to say "next".
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 03:20 AM
19

I do, but I don't want her desire to be negotiated. If she wants me, I'm am here for now. Not sure how long that will last. I am looking forward to getting some strange once we are living separately, so I can see a future without her. She wanted the divorce, and while I can come up with 1,000 reasons why she sucks, I know in my heart she is a good catch. Others will come along, so the fear of being alone isn't the issue with me. There is just something about her voice, the color of her skin, and…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 12:29 AM
3

Yes. It is my understanding that you can also take a distribution from fome retirement plans without penalty due to a divorce. You still have to pay taxes, but if cash out early, you'll have the taxes and the penalty.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 11:07 PM
1

Go see tour doggo. They live in the moment. He will be happy to see you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 12:05 PM
1

It was incredibly helpful for me to help me understand what I did wrong and not to do it again. It can be a bit misogynistic, so you should take it as gospel, but I think he regularly states that things are a on a spectrum, and outliers exist. For example: I do think I lost a "high quality" woman. Still, the book helped me realize that there is no "one". There are some good ones and some bad ones. Things I did wrong: I gave up my passion to be with her. I put her on a pedestal to satisfy my ego.…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 01:41 PM
1

The thought of dating has actually helped me work through my divorce. They dating apps helped me see the possibilities, but I haven't acted on anything yet. We are still living together, and I don't want to even try dating until we are living apart. I didn't want this divorce, and I know I would react poorly of I saw that she was dating, so that's one of the reasons I don't want to pursue anything right now. When I do, I want to date casually and not focus on any one person for at least a few ye…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 01:12 PM
2

Good work, sir.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 12:42 AM
5

I was right there with you when my wife of 17 years filed on 12/1. December was the worst month of my life. I begged her to stay, tried to reason with her and tried to do everything I could think of to get her to stay. The thing that changed my way of thinking was The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. Now I understand why our marriage failed, and I now know what I can do to make myself a better man. Chances are you will have a few ah ha moments with the book. You may hear people say that the book …
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 01:39 PM
6

I get my audio books on audible, and the funny thing is, from the best I can tell, the closest thing audible has is The Manipulative Man. Definitely a different book.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 05:24 AM
18

I really feel what you are going through. My situation is very different, but I have been recommending the book The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi a lot. My wife filed 12/1. I spent December depressed desperately trying to figure out a way to get her back. Someone on Reddit recommended it, and it totally transformed the way I was thinking. Do I still want my wife back, yes. I don't need her now, and I know I have the tools to make sure I don't make the same mistake again.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 01:51 AM
5

That sucks. My wife of 18 year blew me a week before she filed. I didn't live in a sexless marriage, but looking back, I can see she was just going through the motions. I have said this a lot, and I do not think it is a one size fits all solution, but the book Rational Male by Rollow Tomassi has turned around my thinking. I wanted to die when my wife told me that she was done. The book (listened for free on audible) has saved me. It has given me hope for a new beginning and it had also helped me…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 12:35 AM
3

That sucks. I was fortunate that my sister (affluent Jewish Mother) had a list of attorneys within an hour of me telling her that my wife wanted a divorce. Everything from $3000 retainer dude that tries to keep things civil to a $25000 retainer barracuda who goes for the jugular. The funniest thing is she knows my wife's attorney, his wife, his siblings... my attorney also knows her attorney. I went with the nice guy. I like him a lot, and I think he is doing a good job of protecting my interest…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 12:54 PM
1

I hope it helps. All of our situations are different except for one thing: women. You'll have some ah-ha moments and some things won't apply. In all honesty, I did handle my marriage to a pretty good chick the wrong way. She wanted a leader, and I became soft. I see that now, and as much as I'm still thinking of ways to get her back, I also know there is another life ahead of me. I have options, and 2 months ago, I didn't think I had any. Being zeroed out was my destiny until I listened to this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 03:30 AM
2

Not sure, but it was almost immediately. I burned through the audio book in a couple days. I imagine everyone is different, but it helped me understand what happened, that it is very common, and how I can prevent it from happening again. If has given me hope for a new future where being single may not be so bad.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 10:36 PM
2

This is awesome. Congrats! My me stbxw didn't cheat but I was devastated when she told me she was done. December was a lost month for me trying to change her mind. I started listening to the Rational Male and my thinking has totally changed. I bought a treadmill and have used it everyday. I'm currently unemployed which caused some of the stress in my marriage, but I have some really good positions I'm Interviewing for. Unlike before, I am extremely confident that I can make it happen. Rather tha…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 03:40 PM
1

Read the Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. It totally changed my outlook on being divorced. Before I read it I was a mess, because my wife of 18 years filed for divorce and I didn't see it coming. Now I am looking forward to starting a new life and as much strange as I can muster.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 12:59 PM
2

Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi has become my Bible. I'm still early in the process, but it has made me see the light and I can see myself thansfoming every day.. I think it is a must read for every man, and as soon as my son can handle it, he will read it. Not sure when that will be, but since I had my first love at 14, I'm guessing it will be sometime around his 13th birthday.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 06:15 PM
4

Listen/read the Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 03:32 PM
5

Listen or read to the Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. I wish I read it years ago. Could have saved my marriage, or at least I would have moved on years ago. I gave up my frame. Do don't that to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 03:16 PM
3

My stbx is an attorney, but family law isn't her field. I'm coming to believe we are equally clueless, but she is much better at keeping a poker face. God help me.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 04:02 AM
8

I lived alone for 10 years before I married my stbxw at the age of 34. During our 18 year marriage, the only thing I longed for was to be by myself, in my own pad, and make my own decisions. You'll be ok. Focus on hobbies, focus on work, and get in shape. You'll be fine. This is coming from someone who had a hard break up with a live in girlfriend prior to living on my own, and someone who is objectively still in love love with my stbxw. The thought of being my own man again is what is keeping m…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 03:47 AM
6

Lot's of people have recommended The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. I started listening on Wednesday and finished it today. It is full of ah ha moments, and it has truly changed how I'm looking at our divorce. I was basically where you are two weeks ago.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 09:36 PM
2

I'll add that it isn't necessarily a volatile situation. We have always treated each other with respect. I don't think either of is have ever called the other a name. We don't say things that we can't take back.. We are not arguing, just having emotional conversations. Never in front of the kids. This is why us splitting is so irrational. We are good together. We just need come coaching on communication and she needs to open up more.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 04:50 PM
2

Agreed. We are getting along reasonably well considering the circumstances, but I think she probably needs to move out. I'm very open with her but she has put up a wall
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 03:40 PM
6

I agree. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I have broken down a few times. I don't want the divorce. She is going through a mid life crisis. My sister and a female friend of mine both told me not to fight or break down in front of her. Go in another room, and do it in private. It is so hard because we are still living together. The last thing they want is a whiny bitch of a man, and every time I do it, I reinforce her decision to split.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 02:02 PM
1

I like this line, "What you don’t understand is that women can achieve a level of indifference that’s foreign to most men’s idealistic concept of love". Thanks for sharing. The forums looks interesting. One thing though, I'm only interested in casual dating. I was a fully formed guy when I met my STBE, and I'm looking forward to being that guy again. I just want someone to hang out with and bang. I wouldn't introduce them to my son, and I wouldn't act on anything until the divorce is final. We a…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 03:47 PM
6

After 17 years I'm about to be divorced from a woman I was still in love with. She just didn't want to be married anymore. I'm 52 and she is 40, and she was the bread winner, by far. I was thinking that life would be over for me, but just for fun, I signed up for a bunch of them. My profiles are sparse, not visible, and I'm not contacting anyone. I just wanted to see what is out there. Guess what, overweight 40yo single moms who are kind of cute are a dime a dozen. She is totally replaceable. An…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 12:36 AM
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