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glitterandspark Archive

View 8 posts and 124 comments by glitterandspark on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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180

Also in this category: those who get a shut-up ring and have to stress how long they waited 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 05:40 PM
6

Fantastic post! I’m a civil litigator but I’ve had my brushes with this area of law. I think something very often overlooked despite being right in front of every mom in this situation is you’re asking the Judge to minimize the other parent’s rights. Parental rights are fundamental, they’re right up there with free speech. It takes an significant amount of evidence to rule against a parents rights, minimize visitation, etc. That’s why Judges are so persnickety about the issue. While there is bia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 05:20 AM
112

They’re self centered and spoiled. They share feedback expecting you to act on it because everyone else in their lives do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 10:19 PM
6

He needs to share proof of income and education before trying to go in on women’s salary brackets. Also- Are salaries completely stagnant in his world? Even if $50k isn’t enough to survive (which it is in many parts of the US) you can get another job or raises over time 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 05:43 PM
5

I’m incredibly torn on the DIY package idea. In law school I volunteered at the courthouse where that’s basically what we were doing. The vast majority of clients were too distraught to represent themselves effectively. If we told them to put x on a form, they would put y because “the judge needs to know that. No ma’am, putting x is more beneficial. “I’m going to use y”. That’s how most of our conversations went. I felt for them but they absolutely needed representation. I’m a fan of sliding sca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 05:36 PM
7

If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. But also don’t be afraid of what you’re predicting someone’s personality will be or will turn into. Judge your situation by what’s in front on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 03:53 AM
30

I’ve been reading your responses and to me the part about not being happy in five years if he’s in the same place is telling. I’m not sure you really like who he is now, you like his potential, but you all aren’t in undergrad or a phase of life where that’s okay. If you’re not okay with him most likely not getting to your level, your relationship isn’t headed to a good place long term because you’d be pursuing it on a hope and prayer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 12:39 AM
1

You’re welcome - here’s to leveling up this year 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 12:35 AM
7

You are welcome dear :) best of luck in your leveling up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 07:40 PM
30

Thanks! For me it was mostly about remembering I am a prize. That is an objective fact. That exists independently of any male’s opinion of me, even if that opinion is positive (super important). If I’m not defined by a man’s opinion, positive or negative or indifferent, then it doesn’t really matter what their opinion is. I don’t need to let it occupy my mental space, especially the wondering and speculating. You can be the prettiest rose in the garden but some people like orchids instead, and t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 06:33 PM
26

You’re welcome - Happy New Year Queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 06:18 AM
32

If you’re bringing more to the table, big picture, than he is, he will probably marry you without loving you. The notion of “wife material” is a double edged sword. There are men who want to lock you down because you’re so valuable to them and carry on with their side pieces.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 07:37 PM
27

Yes, the rich ones can toss a woman aside more easily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 07:34 PM
8

Yep and they often don’t even realize it. I’ve seen it reach a level that requires social services intervention. Old people and especially old men can be super stubborn. So practically I would rather see a family intervene even if at their own expense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:46 AM
8

Bleh, I’ve seen a few of these memes and they’re so gross. Worse is the women supporting this logic in the comments of each of them. There are much healthier ways to teach children respect for their parents, especially ways aimed at equally respecting them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:43 AM
19

Yes, some things come down to personal preference and shouldn’t be associated with the HV/LV categories. I think things like body type, career (assuming he has one), pets, locale, etc are all personal and not generally associated with a good or no good man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 09:40 PM
58

Usually yes. You need lawyers on both sides. More importantly you need to have candid conversations about how things work in your state. Many prenups gone wrong are really the result of people not asking the lawyer(s) “what if?”. A lot of the time they will just draft what you ask for and not walk you through all the possible results and consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 03:27 AM
19

We have to share the knowledge more often. As women we’re often conditioned to stay quiet and move on. We need to get loud about the ways we’ve seen and anticipate men could harm us. How many paralegals and secretaries perform these search tasks daily but don’t tell their daughters these things exist? Imo- Too many.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 09:58 PM
28

Another important thing to guard is your address, especially under certain circumstances. Obviously for physical safety but also remember reverse address searches work. So if you own your home, I can plug in the address in public records searches to get your name. If your business or professional license are registered to that address, same thing. If you rent and have no business or professional licenses with that address, there’s very little to find. Google may pull up a white pages listing or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 07:45 PM
25

I would do it. There’s nothing wrong with creating a nickname as an adult so long as you’re still giving your legal name to places that require it. Just get your friends and family in on the plan if you want it to be more legitimate and less awkward. A hvm should understand this safety concern.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 07:11 PM
11

Absolutely. Roe is on the shakiest Constitutional and logical grounds. I don’t know whether to think holding off on the legislation is a pawn or truly the administration’s attempt to walk a centrist line to avoid losing 2022 votes and the purple states though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 11:31 PM
7

While 2A rights are fundamental, the specific “can I do this or that” under the 2A are where the logic becomes more fungible because the right isn’t absolute (ex. Felons, kids). Conservatives get pretty nervous about those the tangents. The life term is itself what’s supposed to make the position apolitical and just the culture and reverence surrounding it. The judiciary is supposed to be divorced from politics and judges pride themselves on that. Living up to the apolitical expectation actually…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 09:34 PM
17

No, and thus far the Texas law has not been interpreted that way. It is assisting someone to get an “illegal” abortion that violates the law. So helping someone get a “legal” abortion, in the same state or another, would be fine. https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/09/08/questions-texas-abortion-law/ Edit to add: I really can’t think of a way that this could become illegal. People cross state lines to buy things and do things that are legal in another state but not their own all the tim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 09:19 PM
20

We simply have to protect and advise each other, whatever that ultimately means. I don’t believe there’s another option. Justices are not politicians so this isn’t something that calling your congressman or having a protest will affect the outcome of. A million posts on social media to rage will not change the outcome. Pro-lifers are looking for us to freak out and do things that don’t actually help the cause. I believe keeping a level head and making smart choices is important. I hope that if R…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 09:12 PM
36

And let your friends know they’re in the cupboard!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 05:14 PM
26

Exactly. Don’t assume your provider won’t have their own set of biases and beliefs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 05:07 PM
14

If you’re in a state with restrictive abortion laws, chances are the self defense and weapons rights are broad. Use that privilege accordingly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 02:45 PM
5

They’re entertainment. That’s how I see them. Though unfortunately some people actually act like the characters irl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 05:09 AM
66

It’s childish and borderline ignorant really. There are, what, a dozen or so things in addition to taxes that can be deducted from salary depending on your state and type of employment. You can have your pay split up and deposited in different accounts. You could separately earn commission, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 02:17 AM
-1

Yes. We have to be willing to call out bad behavior. That’s one of the many things that distinguish us from men 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 03:57 PM
28

I think the whole cast is a basket of loonies, really. But more than enough was shown of Joe and co. to make me dislike them too. The difference is she’s the only one who clearly tried to edit herself for the cameras and it came across forced, creepy, and weird. I don’t think Netflix really had to try to make her appear that way. Joe just let himself be weird and made no attempt to hide it. I can recognize her trauma without excusing her behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 11:38 PM
1

I always say yes, but the little piece of paper is a loaded contract
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 11:19 PM
37

Maybe it’s unpopular in this sub, but I don’t like Carol. She had some level of obsession with Joe and her tactics to “save” animals cause so much collateral damage that it does more harm than good. Netflix didn’t fake all those diss videos she and Joe were making, the litigation, etc. It’s one thing to have a life’s work, but it’s another to seek and destroy. It may well be her trauma causing her behaviors but I just can’t get on the Carol train.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 11:11 PM
18

Imo that’s why follow up and continued vetting are so important. For example with religion its not just the simple yes/no question, its also “are you going to do/not do y”, “what will your family or friends think and how will you handle the differences”, “what about if I do/don’t do y”, etc. With religion especially I would want to see his beliefs in action lol. Some men certainly are great actors but most will crack or be inconsistent somewhere along the line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 05:50 PM
188

I’ve never been married but I sincerely believe many divorces result from never having these conversations or never deciding how to handle major differences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 04:20 AM
3

When people say I’m selfish for not having kids I just agree with them. That usually ends the conversation because they’re expecting you to defend yourself and get a gotcha moment out of their twisted logic. They want you to get pissy over defending your life choices. So, If you want to “win” these debates- just stop participating. Nothing you do or say will convince people who feel this way to agree with you, let alone respect your opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 06:08 PM
17

I can’t decide whether to think his parents were full enablers or being manipulated by him. It could be both. Either way they had a role in making him the man he turned out to be and have to live with this ending. I do think people are overestimating their own goodwill by saying they’re just as bad for helping him (assuming they did), very few parents can pull the trigger of turning their child in knowing how substantial the chance of a guilty conviction is. I know not just my parent but other f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 04:29 PM
2

Ring has great products, I just know they’re not affordable or user friendly for everyone. Whereas a latch is a few dollars and stays within your unit so passersby can’t see it. Most people can identify a ring camera or system quickly now, especially creeps, and so I’m not sure its a deterrent anymore. If you’re in a sketchy area it may attract attention because now people know you can afford something expensive. In practice this is just an extra lock on your door once you’re used to it. But sec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 03:03 PM
11

Yep! There’s generally going to be advance notice required except emergencies. If they take issue with your use of a latch its usually going to be about the “damage” to the door and frame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 09:35 PM
34

Ew! You’re welcome and stay safe Also consider a home camera. $20 ones on Amazon do the job just fine and have apps. Mine has motiom sensor and noise sensors too. So, it only takes seconds to get a live view of your home or your entryway(if you place it in the window) from your phone before entering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 07:40 PM
60

My family always had these when we lived in less than ideal neighborhoods. Of course someone could kick the door down but at least then you’d have an obvious sign when you get home. Same with apartment maintenance and other unscheduled visitors, there were several times we arrived home and our regular lock was unlocked but the latch still on- so clearly someone attempted access while we were gone but was deterred by the latch. Could this be a violation of your lease- yes. I’m a lawyer and I can’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 05:52 PM
4

No but a latch would. There are door latches you can lock from the outside.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 02:54 AM
4

Same- my voting is a toss up. I tend to still vote R in local elections because they’re not wacky. I’m a fiscal conservative but a social liberal. People on that plane of thinking can have a good debate with someone who’s fully liberal without the moral high ground implications.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 03:00 PM
24

A better fit for a fruitful discussion would be a centrist Conservative. We exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 11:22 PM
2

Yep! He probably thinks womens pants are sized by the waist like men too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 02:54 AM
48

I agree you that the men are the issue. I think the distinction, being honest and sharing my real feelings here, from the view of a woc is they left her dignity and autonomy intact. The worst they did was assume she was unhinged but they didn’t take her into custody, they weren’t aggressive with her. She didn’t ask them for help running away or directly accuse the guy, and of course we all understand the psychological reasons why a victim wouldn’t. Comparatively there are woc who present to law …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 10:30 PM
23

Oh yes. Thank you for bringing this up. Such a significant factor in DV inflicted on WOC. How do you leave a relationship or bring law enforcement in to (supposedly) assist when your community says that’s being a traitor? Or when you’re being pressured that it will be the final straw for your SO’s criminal history and you’ll be responsible for the fallout from his incarceration? So many more factors WOC face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 10:14 PM
52

Hear us out, be an ally. Listening works wonders because if you listen to the whole message you understand where that person is coming from, even if you may disagree with their conclusion. Think twice before jumping to a conclusion. This is the biggest area of fuss I have with my white female friends. Thinking that they know why we behave a certain way or have certain responses, and unintentionally belittling our experiences. For example, one thing more “woke” white women and the conservatives t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:20 PM
40

Absolutely- I agree that thinking this is new is a big part of the gap. You can see that in tragedy responses often. POC face violence and crime at higher rates so we aren’t shaken by it as easily, however that makes us look callous or content with it when we’ve really just accepted it as normal because we can’t change it. I think that’s an area POC can help non-poc though, I’m always trying to pass on the few street smarts I have to my white friends. Anything helps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 04:45 PM
14

I find it so interesting that you’ve never talked to a black person irl! Glad to chat with you :) I’ll be totally honest and tell you what’s going on. This will be long, sorry. In the states, POC have been through so much and yet there remain systemic inequalities. We’re tired, we’re frustrated at that. The wage gap and education gaps are significant. There’s a saying among the black community that you have to work twice as hard to get half of what a white person has. In some ways I’ve found tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 03:50 PM
60

What you mention is exactly what any woman who finds herself in this situation should do, even if they don’t suspect the man is violent. Lie, play it out, be a happy couple until you’re somewhere safe then bolt. Defend yourself if you have to. Share your location with someone, anyone. My mother and I have had codewords since I could barely speak, if I text her or send someone to get her with that message/word/phrase she knows I’m in danger. We made it more complex over the years to signal where …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 01:00 PM
24

I feel like that plays into how women have been seen for much of history though, it reduces the victim’s agency
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:51 PM
2

Generally no. Unless you caused the circumstances like a hit and run. I can’t say if whether or not there’s some random state with an exception though. There are good reasons broadly in our system, as this is a very big diverse country and we are quite litigious people. If such a duty existed we would be suing each other constantly. Also, it could work in ways we wouldn’t like to see. For example had Gabby left him in the wilderness instead, as some in this thread suggest she should have, she wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 07:52 PM
1

That totally makes him a shitty person, just not a criminal unless it happened under certain circumstances as enumerated by state laws. Admittedly my perspective is a little tainted because I’m lawyer. But in many states you’re allowed to let someone die, there isn’t a requirement to offer aid, but if you create the circumstances or the risk of them it may be criminal. So the trick is were the circumstances under which he may have done that (if that’s in fact what he did) criminal. And if so, ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 06:46 PM
5

Depends on how she died. If she had her head bashed in that’s one thing but if she fell off a cliff, in such a way that it’s unknown whether she was pushed….let’s just say I would hate to be that prosecutor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 06:12 PM
2

Depends on your definition of “killed her”. The fact that he’s only a person of interest indicates a lack of evidence tying him to foul play that would support a charge. It’s becoming quite likely that “all” he did was abandon her in the woods, which I’ve suspected for a while. He could have disappeared to let it blow over and be discovered, because he knew she was dead but not how. That or he pushed her off a cliff, or led her to fall off one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 06:10 PM
1

No it didn’t and I stand by it. All we know is that’s she’s deceased. Either way, my point was critical of our response not her decision. Had she posted a narrative here describing the same circumstances, most replies would be calling her a pick-me. That’s my point. When these situations come by us in a meme or a post, we act differently than when there’s a media storm and a face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 03:28 PM
0

I agree they handled this poorly. What’s tough is I think even good cops don’t get results in these situations and don’t get the victims to be candid and leave the abuser. Even if they do things right to get an admission, it is so often recanted later. I was in a job once where compassion fatigue set in quickly, despite my best efforts to keep seeing things positively, and I realized my care for the situations wasn’t affecting the outcomes, an uncaring person would get the same results. I had to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 01:43 PM
8

Part of the challenge is even good cops get compassion fatigue. For many women in DV situations there isn’t anything that can be said or done, and it takes several times to leave the abuser. Multiply that by the officer’s jurisdiction and they’re likely seeing this several times per shift. If they get a statement it’s often later recanted. DV is one of the few times cops are actually helpless to assist the citizen in crisis. It does take a toll on the good ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 03:27 AM
81

Yes. As a WOC I can’t fathom being in her predicament- traveling in no mans land with this kind of guy. We’re simply raised to be much more careful because if it were us there’d be no manhunt, no social media campaigns, we would just be gone. I think as a woc you just get raised with such a high level of personal responsibility and risk awareness that non-minorities don’t have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 03:01 AM
49

This is the reality. Being in a relationship with a man who triggers you is playing with fire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 02:55 AM
2

Sure! I was hoping to have a productive conversation here but I think my post is still off or hidden, however that works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 08:52 PM
169

I don’t mind the concept, but in reality it takes a really special man and a unique situation to make that work well for a family unit. Some women aren’t nurturing, can’t do the homemaker thing, or have to get back to work for their own sanity. I’m childfree but the mental image of coming home from work to dinner, a clean house, and fed kids sounds great. Yes, it would take a hvm to provide that but if he’s not hv I don’t want him anyway. Practically this probably would be a man who’s retired ea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 04:52 AM
19

Not quite. Perps stay silent all the time but still get charged and convicted. If they had evidence of his involvement they would have a warrant out already. To me, the fact they haven’t done that means they really have little evidence tying him to a crime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 04:44 PM
2

Very important purpose, yes. My challenge though, as I commented to someone else, is POC are always being told we picked the wrong time to discuss our issues 🙃 If we mention them independent of a big story they don’t get discussed much because no one’s interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 02:53 PM
0

Not at all. As I stated in the post, it is a reason the sub should be careful with the narrative being painted. Because it’s inconsistent. There are people here who have declared her a murder victim, DV victim, hostage, all kinds of things with no evidence. I think she’s being given a martyr edit for no reason. We literally don’t know what happened to her. However if a woman posts here or gets posted here specifically saying she’s in the circumstances that people assume Gabby was in, we give her…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 02:51 PM
3

I appreciate what you’re saying here and I largely agree. My issue is I feel POC are always being told sorry now’s not the time to talk about your problems. When we see something that seems and feels like a perpetuation of biases, we’re supposed to just stay quiet because that person is suffering too or they didn’t create the issue. So when is the right time then. Because when its discussed on its own, no one’s really interested. The questions I’m posing on this post aren’t ones I haven’t asked …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 02:44 PM
1

There are people who have literally called the fiancé a murderer and said she has been murdered, for one. When that isn’t confirmed and she may well be alive somewhere. I think she’s getting a martyr edit, when we know absolutely nothing about what happened. Meanwhile if someone posts here or gets posted here, with more details about their circumstances, they get the tough love treatment. People speculate about whether they actually want to leave, have friends/family, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 02:37 PM
1

Agreed. My point is that this sub has turned Gabby into a martyr while not even knowing the nature or extent of her victimization. Meanwhile in any other story posted or lady coming here for help, where there is often clear victimization, it’s always the “nah sis”, “leave him”, or “why didn’t she leave him” attitude. I think that’s inconsistent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 02:33 PM
2

To talk about an inconsistency in how probable victims are treated on this sub
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 02:29 PM
1

I’m not being critical of Gabby, I’m being critical of us. There’s a difference in how her story is being treated here and how women that post here in similar situations are talked to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 02:29 PM
10

They’re a pick me tournament but I wish the concept could be reclaimed in an educational fashion rather than a competitive one. Kind of like etiquette classes or cotillion. The reality is being a well heeled, gracious, and poised woman in society still opens doors. Some of us enjoy being that kind of lady but for ourselves and our own accomplishments, without the man or the creepy male gaze. I feel like how to have poise, and how to be proper is an education only privileged women get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 05:11 PM
12

I feel torn on this. SMBC benefits the mom, almost exclusively. It’s a complete toss up whether the child will grow up to feel the same or carry some resentment and face struggles. There is a benefit to having two parents in some form, whether that second parent is a bio/step, grandparent or another mother/father figure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 05:44 PM
41

Ew. This is a common scam unfortunately. Being a trainer is a good sugar baby job for young men. They have access to women who can afford to pay upfront and often lonely wives willing to do other things. I’m an attorney and I worked a very similar case once, once the lady paid upfront the whole mood changed. They’ll ask for a personal loan, an “investment”, or your time, if not all three. They’ll do this to multiple women at once. It is difficult, time consuming, and expensive to get your money …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 04:54 PM
26

It explains a lot for me. I’m a black conservative and I’ve always felt odd vibes around these women, not (usually) in a racist way but moreso in a classist way I can’t put my finger on. In terms of status I’m usually on equal footing with their husbands, so it’s weird. But it makes sense if they’re deriving self importance and superiority from their traditionalism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 12:13 AM
22

That’s the thing- there’s plenty of things of value, not even monetary value, that would make a proposal nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 09:04 PM
71

Yep, hopefully they have neighbors that are also riding out the storm who are properly supplied in case things get bad. Otherwise they’re on their own. In Florida, you will literally get closed off in your neighborhood by cops to ensure the hunker down time happens and people aren’t on the roads, including during the clean up after. It’s common for grocery stores to be closed for a week after due to the power loss and damage. That’s really the main reason you stock up. What he did was very irres…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 01:17 AM
12

The key is realizing these people are trying to put negative energy on you, not pointing out negative energy or traits you actually have. It isn’t apparent because they act like they’re pointing out all these flaws and abnormalities when in reality they just want their misery to have company. It’s all made up insults. You have no reason to feel bad. None! Reject that negativity and keep doing you :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 03:42 PM
11

It’s often ignorance on top of ideology as well. If you’ve never been in the streets or had friends who were, you simply won’t understand the reality. Makes me think back to the times I pushed back on “liberal” professors in college who had certain race relations concepts all wrong. I support academia but some things you just shouldn’t assert conclusions on if you don’t have personal experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 02:33 PM
14

I’ve reached of point of reveling in it. Nope, I don’t have stretch marks. Nope, I don’t have to arise early on weekends. Nope, I don’t have to budget for a tiny human. Yes, I’m living my best life and I’ve got a lot of years ahead of me to spend however I choose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 02:21 PM
2

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 05:27 PM
8

Ew. S.N. - Anyone recognize that lipstick brand?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 10:21 PM
131

I love how this line of reasoning always conveniently ignores that both parties can get out the contract
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 10:14 PM
3

I have this debate with older women in my family often. These men aren’t “stuck” and I don’t take pity on them. They enter these situations eyes wide open, or willingly shut, and know what they’re doing. He didn’t “have to” marry or have kids with the woman, he chose to. If a woman did the same things, she’d be criticized up and down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 01:36 AM
0

She might have made money off this actually, by gaining followers or sponsors
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 02:33 AM
1

It very much depends on where you want to practice and work though. For example, I never wanted to leave my state and I later decided I didn’t want a corporate style job so it made no sense to apply to the top schools, none of them are near me or place students in the practice area I ended up in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 02:22 AM
4

Bingo! The best are the ones in lower paid public interest work who have a LVM with money they’re clinging to. Younger women tend to just be miserable and snarky - all bark, no bite. But the older ones have a savior complex and swear they’re self made, have (not just tone deaf but also outdated) life and financial advice galore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 05:21 PM
8

I ran across a few of these in school, I’m honestly not sure if they’re more insufferable there or in practice. They complain a lot and transfer schools or quit jobs as soon as the boyfriend/husband decides to or has to move (Dr’s wives are the worst, military a close second but I understand that). Alternatively they complain until the guy agrees to move. Law schools are mostly regional (you’re barred per state) so you should be attending ultimately where you want to practice, though rank should…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 05:12 PM
11

There’s a lot of female lawyers like this. In my experience its the opposite. They have all the backbone, judgment, and opinions in the world when it comes to other people’s lives and livelihoods.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 05:03 PM
31

The whole “I can get-a-man/keep-a-man” insult is the most grating to me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 06:55 PM
21

Well I think you have to redefine prize a bit. Men have always chased women like they’re working for a trophy. It’s just often a trophy to control, suit their needs, or show off. The fact that they don’t treat us well doesn’t mean they don’t want us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 04:57 AM
47

Women are expected to become the valuable prize for men, not for their own benefit. Men are seen as inherently having value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 02:16 AM
4

Nope, totally there with you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 10:02 PM
2

You kind of keep talking like this is all speculative to me. It isn’t. I’m not a privileged person, period. I’m not trying to say things are possible that I haven’t been through and handled myself with no hands up or out. I hear your sincerity. But I honestly challenge you consider and to recognize- here you have a woman in front of you trying to explain my perspective after jumping through a lot of hurdles but you’re looking for my privilege (which as a woc from an adverse background I don’t ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 12:20 AM
2

I look forward to my 30s :) I hope to have much more life experience, goals achieved, and stability by then. I’m already loving the upper 20s much more than the lower which were rough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:30 PM
3

Appreciate your perspective! I tend to think of the emotional maturity and experience women a few years older than me have as making the 30s “better” but the continued economic struggles are definitely important too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:25 PM
2

Absolutely- and I think your last point is super important :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:58 PM
4

The problem with treating us as unicorns is people don’t think they exist, or think maybe they’re this rare weird thing you’ll never see. Imo (and we’re off the topic of the thread now, but I just want to be clear where I’m coming from) - i feel strongly that If the idea perpetuates that being self sufficient through your struggles as a women in this society that’s pretty unfair to us is this big hard task, we’re not going to make progress. It does worry me that’s there’s in 2021 still women bei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:54 PM
3

Where did I say that makes them lazy? If anything it’s a potential privilege. See the part you apparently haven’t gathered about me is I have zero privilege and I’m a woc. I take care of myself as well as my immediate family, who have always been unable to assist me financially. There’s nothing like the feeling of having no backup plan and having to make it all work. You probably know the stats, most woc are in the same boat. So yes I’m going to push back on the idea that I’m not built different…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:46 PM
4

Not at all my point though. I take zero issue with how someone lives, you do you. I do take issue with using that to bash others. I take issue with women who suggest I get in a relationship in order to have spare money or tell me I don’t or I’m a broke b because I don’t “have a man”. I take issue with women who say they’re “bosses” and “independent” when they’ve never paid a full month of bills in their life. That is the attitude the ladies on this thread are criticizing. It’s belittling. I woul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:36 PM
3

I hear you but at the same time, there’s ladies who jump through all those hurdles, and I’m sure some of us on this thread can tell you some stories. We made it work because we had to. Treating us like unicorns for figuring it out isn’t fair either. Nevertheless my post is moreso geared towards women who have relied on men throughout their 20s and use what they acquired by doing so to bash/question the lifestyles of single women who have less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 04:22 PM
1

I don’t think anyone here at least, is trying to make someone like her feel bad at all. She recognizes the spot in life she’s in and is trying to make the best. That’s very different from the group of women who do not recognize they’ve gotten by with the help of men, don’t want to, and/or bash women who don’t get help. That’s the culture I’m ranting against because I feel it causes the most independent women to be put down, so I think we need to celebrate ourselves for a moment, even if it’s on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 04:06 PM
5

Superior, no. Do I think the ladies who have worked hard to take care of ourselves deserve recognition, yes. Because we don’t get it often and in my experience get categorized with, criticized by, and compared to women who don’t have the same level of responsibility and “adulting” to do. I think women who go through the majority of our 20s without a partner to lean on financially and emotionally are built different because we have to be there for ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 02:41 PM
2

That’s actually exactly what I mean. If you’re splitting expenses which permits you to live a lifestyle you otherwise couldn’t afford, and it’s not a roommate, you’re being supported. By the upper 20s, we all know a girl who had had spare cash while in a relationship but had to downgrade her life post-breakup. I saw it often in grad school, with girls moving in and splitting rent on a $2k studio their bf already had.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 01:45 PM
15

A lot of us have been in that spot, hang in there! Life got 10x better after undergrad and 100x better after I finished grad school. It’s like a long game but worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 02:36 AM
26

The fact that you want independence is so important though! I guess the question is do you have a plan to achieve it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 02:14 AM
2

Yes! I was trying to look at their dresses and just gave up on that site
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 02:04 AM
5

I don’t get dms either, my profile is private. I’m referencing the photos and stories of those I follow. On Valentines Day the whole feed is couples. There was a time in my life seeing “happy” couples made me (a perpetually single lady) sad, but it doesn’t anymore because I have improved my perspective. I had promised myself I wouldn’t go on instagram on Valentines Day this year because I didn’t want to trigger myself. I broke and did it anyway, but to my surprise I wasn’t triggered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:42 PM
2

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:40 PM
5

It can be forced by the court, similar as in a divorce. There are a few legal actions available to divide joint property when one owner wants out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:36 PM
5

I’m in a very similar situation except I don’t own a home, yet, I just pick up a majority of the expenses. To me it’s simple, my family sacrificed for me to get an education and a decent job. Comparatively, this is a very small token of my appreciation. We also make pretty good roommates, so it’s just convenient. I’ve definitely dealt with the judgement over “living with family” and often find myself explaining the situation- it’s exhausting. I’m sure lots of men would want nothing serious with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:46 AM
48

Lawyer here. Idk. It depends on the state but sometimes you come out better in this situation than when married. She can get a lawyer to sort out the funds if the home is sold or have him buy out her share. There’s a few options if she’s actually on the mortgage, since that literally makes it her house too. But if they were married, an equal split may not happen especially if she outearns him. Protect yourselves high earning ladies. He can get your stuff much more easily in a divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:14 AM
4

Agreed! Though he offers good ideas here and there, it’s largely outdated bootstrap mentality based advice your grandparents would give that most people today shouldn’t follow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 04:48 AM
23

Even the ones with degrees can be low value. The number of pickmes in higher ed is astounding because education and/or trust fund is their only standard and they’re super aggressive about locking it down before or shortly after graduation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:31 PM
3

Haha, those are some characters. Totally go against the personality types I’ve seen in those areas of the profession. I don’t blame you for making that decision. What’s funny is, they don’t teach you to argue in law school or to always fight to be right. But so many people come out of it with that mentality, probably because they came in with it. Imo the best lawyers out there are the quiet, academic types- its a profession where thinking pays off more than speaking. If you ever make an exceptio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 04:10 AM
7

Same! No approaches (not that I usually get them lol) when I’m in full face and well-dressed. You would think they’d be more likely to chat up the put together lady but nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:48 AM
7

Was he at a large firm? The large firm environment is tough and tends to attract a certain personality type regardless of the practice area. Lawyers who work for the government or in smaller firms tend to be more chill, especially those with research based jobs instead of litigation like patent lawyers or judicial clerks. I’m very torn between thinking lawyers should date each other vs. lawyers should date people in totally different occupations. I like guys who think like me but at the same tim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:36 AM
1

I literally was told, after mutually crossing the line with a friend, that I’m too good and we should leave each other alone. I definitely took it as a compliment but at the same time it still felt like rejection. I guess I questioned if that was honest or just a way to shoo me off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:17 PM
1

It’s a mixed bag. There’s Charleston/Atlanta/Norfolk southern and then there’s rural Alabama southern. No offense to anyone from Alabama. I’m probably more interested in a southerner because of some shared values and traditions. These Florida boys don’t get some of the things me/my family do or believe in. Now, I’m conservative but I have my limits to following that belief system, especially being a minority in today’s climate. I think the norms are somewhat changing in that some of my southern …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:15 PM
2

There’s a lot of us out here - hugs to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 01:08 AM
2

I don’t know. I used to think so because of being around academia, tech, and other industries I consider comparable to mine. But I’m not sure, for cultural reasons, that there’s many men I would want around here. I’m in Florida, from another southern state (a real southern state), and often told I seem very NYC/DC/Bostonian. I’m not interested in someone who wears flip flops 24/7 and kayaks on the weekend. I need a little more refinement than that. I like where I live but the casualness of peopl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 01:07 AM
3

Absolutely- I always hear the same thing from family. When I was younger it was always “oh, beauty and brains, watch out the boys are gonna be after you!”....then they never were. Now it’s “Any man would be lucky to have you!” “Someone will come along ”.... And I’ve started getting questions about what I do to put myself out there (implying I’m doing something wrong) and my sexuality. So I wonder if it’ll ever change to implications I should’ve settled. Nevertheless, lvm are a waste of time. Muc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 12:58 AM
1

Thanks! I don’t often consider that a hvm wouldn’t exactly be on the prowl or thinking about dating like lvm are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 12:22 AM
16

I’m struggling watching people couple up and get into serious relationships around me, especially the social media aspect. I know most are settling for whoever’s around. I know most of the guys are lvm who make poor partners. But gosh it makes me feel extra lonely. I intimidate men- I’m high maintenance, educated, decent job, lot of life experience. I don’t take bs and I would never entertain a man who can’t match me intellectually. Well, so far in life that’s left me with no one and I’m approac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 12:49 PM
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