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growing_flower_ Archive

View 7 posts and 70 comments by growing_flower_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I am in my late 20s!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 01:22 PM
8

Girl, why have I never really went through it 😭I need to step up my high value self !!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 09:18 PM
8

Im going to read this book! Does it apply to other aspects as well?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 09:07 PM
14

love this because this is exactly how im feeling right now, I guess all of this is normal !!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 08:38 PM
2

It’s difficult trust me I know. But the more you practice and take care of yourself, the better it’ll all be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:55 AM
16

At my lowest, I tell myself it is okay and it is okay to feel this way. One of the things that helps me is reassuring myself, reminding myself that in order for growth to happen it won't be a continuous straight line but sometimes there will be down moments, but it doesn't mean I won't be stronger because of them, or that my progress won't increase. I also consider if something triggered me, if I need a break, or if its about that time. Its hard sometimes, but I have come to accept that I will h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:34 AM
4

The last part..agreed and it sucks because then you just feel some type of way yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:14 PM
16

Several things: -Worked on my well-being aka mental health -Really worked hard during my pre-med goals -Applied to scholarships and tried to gain experience for the future
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 03:43 PM
24

Crazy that I was thinking about this myself. I used to kind of share with the wrong people and you know recently I realized like oh I shouldn't had said anything because they will paint this picture of me negatively. And there was a lot of stupid things I have done (and regret) and mentioned to them and I regret telling them because some of these individuals, who do stupid stuff themselves, will open their mouth to others and be like oh growing_flower_ isn't as good as she seems. So I agree, wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 01:22 PM
5

Okay QUEEN. You are SOOO right on the second statement!! Trust me, I used to be like okay about so so many things and I realized like I can't keep cutting others slack when I know what I come with. Girl you had me smiling and laughing toward the end. Thank you so much for that!! I have just had enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:27 AM
13

Girl, I am with you. Back in my pickme days, I never really thought education was a big deal to me because individuals can always go back and people always go back later in life (I have a coworker in her 50s wanting to obtain her bachelors). Also, I acted so savior thinking I can go motivate them to go back but it is NOT my job. However, I feel those men I met who are not educated nor care to go back to school, were possibly the worst. They really had no self-respect and no respect toward me and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 12:38 AM
13

girl, yes. I can attest to all of this. Not necessarily the person is a bad person, but taking advantage and what not, feeling so questionable about the friendship/relationship, sometimes you don't even see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 03:26 PM
4

I know, I really realized that after, let me adjust ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 11:34 AM
5

Agreed. And they are really over-doing it with the way they act. Like I get so traumatized after watching 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:02 AM
6

lmao omg 😂 and you know what's sad, you see those types of videos on tiktok...idk if you ever seen the guy trio that wear wigs...girl, bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:28 AM
6

I have never heard of him! I need to look into this!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:15 AM
36

right? like I don't get that and on top they have girlfriends themselves. It makes me uncomfortable and its super cringe...like are you really out there wearing dresses and getting a full set? 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 10:27 PM
44

they lack a lack sense of humor...just saw the comments on that meme and everyone is objectifying here in a VERY uncomfortable way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 10:19 PM
175

You know I am glad you brought this up because it reminds me of those tiktok videos that are like different types of women on dates, different women when girls get their nails done, when women get together for dinner/brunch, that are usually done by boys like y'all pathetic and its not funny, its just so lame. Its not that they apply to me or hurt my feelings, I just find it so stupid that they try to act girly to make fun of women to get hits, make others laugh? pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 07:02 PM
21

You know these scrotes really just think we are men haters and that we are overreacting. Like no, we are here to uplift each other because we have been abused in numerous and different ways, we have been used, we have been put down, which affects with our self esteem, we have been told that we were the problem for their problems and basically everything, we have been dealing with anxiety because of stuff they put us through, too much misogyny, and our pickme attitudes to satisfy them. We have be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:46 PM
4

thanks so much ❣️ and we really all have and glad we can all be there for each other. Im learning to really tell myself that I really am not to blame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:32 PM
60

I appreciate this as it helps me come to terms with my trauma and to not blame myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:52 AM
11

so happy to hear this because this really inspired me. like look @ u go and all the things u accomplished about are about to accomplish. this gets me excited and reminds me that the future can be great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:17 AM
14

ugh I wish I knew this very much early on. Never give a chance to a straight up broke up loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:55 PM
7

WHAT IS THAT POST?! You know what no, absolutely not. Its so annoying that women have to think that something wrong with them because a guy acts a certain way or treats you a certain way. Like yeah let me give him the benefit of the doubt and fix it and blame myself. I think that is ridiculous - I blamed myself for my ex's reaction to my culture and you know what ladies? it messed me up, more than I ever realized. No one should ever have to blame themselves for someones shitty behavior and let y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 06:11 PM
15

Girl same, like it was the worst thing ever. And he was such a misogynist, I didn't really think of it when he would ask me like why are you going to the gym, why do you go, etc. He was a jealous loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 09:49 PM
24

Agreed!! I learned A LOT of what not to do and not to allow. He started acting a type of way because he realized I was a very HV woman. Smh, makes me cringe until this day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 07:41 PM
57

Preach. I had an experience like this, I gave a chance to a straight up loser (had nothing going for him and what not) because he begged like you don't know me blah blah, yeah boy I didn't want to know you. He was the worst guy I had ever met. A straight up liar, user, narc, low value, probably a cheater, and this was only like two months of my time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 06:58 PM
73

This is wrong on many levels and many of the comments said this, so that's good. I can't believe someone will offer as a loss of a bet for free use? His girlfriend is not an object but I hope she takes all the means to break up with him. This makes me sad, like a woman should not have been degraded like this nor used. She has value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:32 PM
15

we are so proud of you and we are so happy for you. I hope you have a strong support system and you are able to make it out safely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:35 PM
2

lmao FR. She's always on the news for something random every time. Especially with her recent news..like girl what?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:34 PM
21

I appreciate this, you have no idea. I always was scared to make people/others upset. During the summer, I told this guy we couldn't be friends anymore because he was just too clingy, too weird, and shared strange information with me. When I say he flipped out, he flipped out. He belittled me, he cussed me out, threatened me, all because I said to leave me alone. He wasn't someone I should have been friends with, but he wouldn't leave me alone and I was going through low self esteem. I always ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:19 AM
44

Yes and ngl and sorry if this offends anyone, but that’s why Demi lovato always rubbed me off the wrong way. She makes everyone seem like the problem and just always doing too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:27 PM
3

Yes😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:00 PM
13

Yes, always!! Like oh let me turn this on you like you are the problem instead of taking accountability. Yeah, seriously, you know what no more low effort BS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:46 AM
17

Oh yes, I cannot stress this enough. Gave someone my number..lied about their name and age and it makes me SO untrustworthy of others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:32 AM
53

As another woman of color, I really love to see this. I love to see a woman defying the odds and elevating without the need of a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:33 PM
102

Men that offer low effort dates are vetting to find more low maintenance, easy going women This part right here. I was thinking about it and many of these guys don't offer a dinner date or something nice. For men in their mid-late 20s, you'd think they would offer a nice date, but nope lets just go DriVe AroUnD oR pUlL uP sOmeWheRe aNd ChiLl..we know what happens with these low effort dates and it is disgusting. I am so tired of this and shame on me with ever thinking it was okay. Even some woul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 05:55 PM
12

It happens, and its always okay. I think in leveling up or in general trying to be successful, there will always be some bumps, but you always come out stronger. Like for here, you had the thoughts, but you're realizing yeah no, and its going to only make your mindset stronger. Don't let anyone shift your change, I don't think you're being too picky but rather not settling for low effort, because lets get real, we know how low effort goes, always same thing and its like enough is enough. And thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 08:26 PM
3

my fellow ladies who went med school, what was it like? I wanna do it, but im so so scared.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:30 AM
13

Wow. It is so insane. Even though I never had so much experience, there was one LVM that just seems questionable. But he was from two years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:21 AM
30

Wow. I hope this is okay to ask, but how do STDs work with oral? EDIT: thanks ladies for educating me!! Y'all the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 12:06 AM
3

I really love this. FDS is helping me on a daily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 09:56 PM
67

I agree. Honestly, I am also so over of women putting their dreams aside or following a guy so he can go follow his dreams. Your dreams matter too because those dreams should never be put aside for anyone. And if someone can't support them, then peace out to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:37 PM
24

Been there girl (but not that amount), these guys have NO shame to take advantage of us!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:52 AM
15

Mine was really with one guy who was the biggest no value man ever. But basically, tried to be his savior girl because his sad/sob story was what he got with me. Gave him $50 throughout several points because he "didn't" have money and was hungry and needed to get home and it was ALL a lie. He paid me back only 40 and when I tried to get the other 10 back, he ignored my messages and stuff. oh and lets not forget about the time I stayed even though he took me on a fake date, made me wait an hour,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:51 AM
2

I spit out my lemonade - im dead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:53 PM
11

wow, I am in shock, it looks like it just never goes away! I hope we only come across HVM because I am so tired of the using, the sob stories, the high school was the only highlight of my life, all that low value behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 03:19 PM
26

"My high school girlfriend did XYZ" "Every girl cheated on me" "I was arrested before" "My parent died" "I wasn't a good kid growing up" "You don't want to be around me" and trust me these came from individuals in their mid 20s and above. They really want to blame everyone but themselves for their shitty behavior! I really met someone that tried to project their shitty feelings on me to make it seem like his problems were minor. But as you said, it is on them. A girl doesn't need to be your savi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:54 PM
12

They always do! They think a sob story and how their life was difficult would be intriguing, like no go to therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:29 PM
57

omg im dying because I have been there before. They love making themselves seem they had a rough/tough life so they can make you feel bad or something for them because as you said highly manipulative. Any sob story or sad stuff so early on is a BIG RED FLAG. I tried to reject someone because I could tell he was not a good guy at all for me (VERY LVM) and then told me his shitty life experience, but I was intrigued at that time. Pretty much a very big waste of time and I was really shown what a N…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 12:36 PM
16

Me and you both girl. Just never again on my part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 10:53 PM
13

Honestly, I agree. I had to let someone go because they didn't care much about anything and doing things solo, but rather needing a man and I couldn't be around it. I understand not judging people, but I know the energy I want around me is to be uplifting and to be focused on the growth mindset. They bring you down too and it isn't the way to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 04:46 PM
3

I so feel attacked here!! I wish I was given this advice a long time ago. What do you do when you block them and they still call you private?! I had someone create a fake number?? like the audacity??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:17 PM
2

"If you were just patient with me" or anything that tries to make you seem that you are the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:13 PM
14

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS!! Ugh I can envision great things happening with this! Keep us updated!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:05 PM
6

Smh when they try to turn the tables on you. The way he tries to be cute to win his back in your life, like no thank you! Great job for being direct and setting your foot down!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 06:57 PM
25

My goal is to fix my room and honestly, get over my old job. Its been 5 months and I haven't gotten over it so my plan is to stop lurking on their social media, stop caring about it, stop thinking about my boss and her anxiety increasing talks, stop with some of the anxiety that came with it, the youth I worked with, and just really, get over it because I realized I haven't and its stopping me from leveling up as well as adding anxiety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:07 PM
3

Wow, I love this. I am going to definitely do it, but I am going to do it at the right time. I want to make sure that I am over the old me's behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 11:04 PM
4

Thanks so much replying!! Your reply is so helpful as it does make me feel better. I think what I am going to do is have a funeral for the old me. I think this is such a good idea. I am going to plan and execute this funeral for sure. Yes, I am in therapy too (I have two therapists because two perspectives really helps + plus they both focus on different avenues). You are right these are first handed experiences and I know these experiences and my stories can help maybe other females as well. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 10:25 PM
22

GIRL SAME! It feels so good! I cut out social media completely, reading books that will help me become knowledgeable about women issues and my culture/religion, and cutting out specific people/behaviors/thoughts!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 06:45 PM
9

I am not sure if anyone has ever felt this way but lately, I have been feeling a whole lot of regret toward my previous experiences with men. I had my first BF at 22, and I realized all I tried to do is cater to him and be like the best girlfriend he ever had because he didn't have the best previous relationship. I gave up so many of my values in this process and prior I never really reflected, but it is all starting to affect me. I would do things for his pleasure like send some lingerie pics a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 05:25 PM
14

Exactly, they know and they think it is okay, and its NOT!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:23 PM
4

Yes, I had this experience and it was so awful. He even tried to make it seem like I had problems just to make it seem he didn't have problems. I was so naive back then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 11:56 AM
7

Aww, I wish it was possible for you, I think it would have been great!! I hope you can find a way or something to make it happen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 12:14 AM
26

Have you considered doing like a Women's Therapy Group that includes talking about discussions about self-love and what not? I know the burn out is real, but I think maybe creating a women's group will help them take initiative and end crappy relationships!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:05 PM
1

This is amazing. I am so sorry that also happened to you, sending you so much strength! You got this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:03 PM
1

So so sweet. I do need to let myself process and be kind to myself. It is okay because I didn't have all the right tools - tbh, I had that savior complex with men and letting things slide so many times but I started realizing like that is really not the way to go especially after lurking through this subreddit. Im starting to focus on bettering myself, reading books that will fulfill my brain with knowledge, hobbies, and self-love ❣️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:23 PM
1

How you forgive yourself is proving to yourself you're not that pickme anymore every day. I love this - very much true. I need to learn to walk away especially when I get these uncomfortable really quick and red flags ALL over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:18 PM
21

I love this and it was so inspiring to read. I realized I am a pickme WOC and happy to have found this subreddit to get inspired like woman like this! I wish I discovered all of this sooner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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