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hello_im_phil Archive

View 13 posts and 96 comments by hello_im_phil on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Fill in the 16 hours fasting time with lots of water and black coffee. I've got this down. I regularly do 24-36 hour fasts. It's the stuff after that I'm going into slowly as I don't know how it affects my mental/physical performance yet. Get Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover and read it like your life depends on it! I've been following the baby steps for a long time now, is there more reason to buy it that I would benefit from? I've listened to his podcast a decent amount. I would find one…
/r/RPChristians23/11/18 02:32 PM
1

Background / Stats: Single. 24 years old, 6’3”, 235 lbs. Discovered RP July of 2017. Have read: 3/4 Bible, NMMNG, MAP, RM, PM, WISNIFG Currently reading: Man's Search for Meaning Physical / Lifting: 205 Bench, 265 Squat, 370 DL, 170 OHP Physical Goals: Increase my lifts by at least 5 lbs a month. Diet: Still absolutely terrible, but with more up moments thrown in. Need to stick more consistently to fasting (scary for me) and just doing IF with chipotle, unless a healthier opportunity appears. My…
/r/RPChristians16/11/18 03:37 AM
1

The main thing is to engage in things that are outward focused, not focused on you and her Almost all my experiences with her up to this point have been this. I guess continue? Or do I need to switch it up? I would ordinarily agree with you that remaining covert in your intentions is more attractive Am I still supposed to be going for attractive, or solely trying to figure out if this is a solid fit? There's got to be an overlap of your efforts at some point That's a really good point. And defin…
/r/RPChristians16/11/18 03:15 AM
1

But it does come with the other downsides. I think one of my biggest issues is that I start overcommunicating and texting a lot, and I don't know how to balance it. These are things you can direct her to work on and she how she responds That's something I'm not entirely sure on how/what to do at this point, especially in distance.
/r/RPChristians16/11/18 03:12 AM
2

Invite her to do things that are mission-oriented, not romance-oriented What does this look like at this point in time? She's already active in similar activities when she's around, its moreso right now that there's the physical distance aspect. To that end, always be blatantly transparent. As long as you communicate overtly and tell her exactly what you're thinking, she can never get hung up on you and claim you were just stringing her along. This feels like it goes against everything RP I've r…
/r/RPChristians12/11/18 08:14 PM
2

I don't get it. If you were possibly open to it, why did you say you don't do long distance? At this point with all the horror stories I've heard about long distance, I wouldn't want to start with it as the foundation of a relationship, with anyone at this point, despite how I felt. I recognize I have issues with infatuation and getting carried away, and that's not a healthy environment for that, at least to my knowledge. You could just get to know her better through some discussion to see if yo…
/r/RPChristians12/11/18 08:13 PM
1

After a lot of reflecting and praying since yesterday, I believe I am born again and assured of my salvation as much as any human part of me can be. I believe the problem is that much of my life is based off of feelings and emotions, and that I'm looking for a "saved" or "born again" feeling. This has never happened to me before last night, but I had a dream I was in the midst of persecution. Me and other believers were lined up and slowly being executed. If you denied christ you were free. The …
/r/RPChristians14/10/18 02:45 PM
1

That's very well said, and I believe I understand most of it. My questions from that: I feel like I've done/had similar experiences, but I keep falling backwards always. Is that part of it, or is there something different. My struggle is that I find it difficult to do things such as be in the word, go to church, volunteer, etc. And easy to chase women that are not good for me under the guise that they are part of the church too. It feels like something is broken in me, and no matter what I pray …
/r/RPChristians13/10/18 09:36 PM
2

I'm on mobile so I'll try to reply in order to what I wanted to say. I don't think I'm born again honestly, so I'd love to hear whatever on that subject. And I think the issue with the friendship thing with her is that I end up doing volunteer activities that I wouldn't normally do if she wasn't going. So I feel like I'm not doing things for the right reasons. If that makes sense.
/r/RPChristians13/10/18 08:23 PM
1

I really like this. Will be posting in here from now on instead of my monthly updates! Background / Stats: Single. 24 years old, 6’3”, 245 lbs. Discovered RP July of 2017. Have read: 3/4 Bible, NMMNG, MAP, RM, PM Currently reading: WISNIFG Physical / Lifting: 200 Bench, 260 Squat, 360 DL, 165 OHP Physical Goals: Increase my lifts by at least 5 lbs a month. Diet: Absolutely terrible. My living situation allows me access to free food, but conversely I don’t have much ability to store or make anyth…
/r/RPChristians11/10/18 11:59 PM
1

Yes, quite a few people actually off the top of my head.
/r/RPChristians07/10/18 02:00 PM
2

I was able to reflect on your questions and more, and I would say the answer is yes. I've been taking one section of my commute to listen to scripture as well as think and reflect on it and what's going on in my life right now. I don't think it's enough or even a lot, but it's where I was able to find a starting point.
/r/RPChristians07/10/18 03:19 AM
2

You're absolutely right. I need to stop making excuses and start doing what I can do, even if it doesn't feel like a lot.
/r/RPChristians07/10/18 03:16 AM
2

Thank you for sharing, and the vulnerability that took. I really appreciate it
/r/RPChristians07/10/18 03:14 AM
2

What is your definition of quiet time?
/r/RPChristians05/10/18 10:33 PM
2

Everything else you said is definitely an expression of where I want to be in the near future.
/r/RPChristians05/10/18 09:46 PM
2

What happened with your friend if you don't mind me asking? I have a couple of similar situations to that right now.
/r/RPChristians05/10/18 09:45 PM
2

I see what you're saying, but how do you deal with the struggle of thinking that you are not qualified to actively make disciples? I don't feel like I am a good example and in step with my beliefs lining up with my actions in such a way that I could effectively further God's Kingdom from an intentional perspective. I believe that God can work through me and use me, but at this point I don't see myself doing any more good compared to the harm that I could do. I feel like I'm a hypocrite, and I ha…
/r/RPChristians05/10/18 09:44 PM
2

The issue is that sometimes it bothers me, and sometimes it doesn't, tying into what I said earlier. I struggle with anxiety and overthinking things, and I don't know sometimes when I'm going overboard.
/r/RPChristians05/10/18 06:20 PM
2

I guess to that I say, are these things that could significantly be holding me back? Are these things altering my life significantly or potentially causing others to stumble, or am I focusing on trivial things that don't matter as much as I make them out to?
/r/RPChristians05/10/18 04:59 PM
3

So, I guess a recent struggle is music or television that's either ammoral, or clearly points to themes of sin. On one hand I could argue for one side and not mattering, but on the other side I could argue for it definitely mattering. Music is a huge part of my life, and so it's something I constantly struggle with.
/r/RPChristians05/10/18 04:46 PM
1

I can't explain it, but with squats and bench I have some kind of mental block. I feel like I could do more, but I've had chest/back injuries already in my life and in my head those could cause nightmares.
/r/RPChristians04/09/18 09:52 PM
1

My hamster is the worst.
/r/RPChristians20/08/18 09:01 PM
1

You're right. Sucks but it's true.
/r/RPChristians20/08/18 09:00 PM
2

Thank you.
/r/RPChristians20/08/18 09:00 PM
2

Really appreciate this post. You're absolutely right. Just wondering, how long does it take to shift to this mindset? And is it painful?
/r/RPChristians20/08/18 08:59 PM
2

That was the main reason the door closed. It was weighing my decisions and emotions when it came to work down heavily. The issue is it has spiked since it happened, and don't know when it will recede.
/r/RPChristians19/08/18 09:46 PM
2

That's a very good point, and something I've had to work to reconcile with coming to RP thinking. That finding help from the opposite gender can be a disaster.
/r/RPChristians19/08/18 09:45 PM
2

That's what I was thinking. I just feel like only praying when I could try is selfish. But at the same time, it's what may be best for everyone.
/r/RPChristians19/08/18 09:44 PM
1

I've cut down on portion sizes is the main thing. Especially in sweets. I'll have some to get the flavor, but not go excessive. Also cut drinks other than water to almost 0.
/r/RPChristians06/08/18 03:09 PM
3

I definitely agree with you. The past few years any relationship has been pure mental faith. I don't feel it in my heart, if that makes sense. The back and forth without direction is also accurate. Something I'm working to improve.
/r/RPChristians30/06/18 04:44 PM
0

I get that, and understand that I definitely have a lot of work to do when it comes to leading myself. If there's one thing I've taken from the past few months since I found this sub, it's that no matter how much I may want it, I'm probably not ready to leave this stage of singleness. Logically that's what I'm afraid of, but I'm also aware I put myself in the fallacy of this is an exception or different. I also get that put, but that's probably the biggest struggle I have now. Since finding the …
/r/RPChristians23/06/18 11:19 PM
0

I think I understand what you are saying, but could you explain in case I don't?
/r/RPChristians23/06/18 11:15 PM
1

We've been through some pretty rough stuff together, but you're right, the intimate getting to know each other has definitely been more recent. It aligns a lot more with what you're saying. Especially because she's one of those very "life of the party" types, and manages to hide the background very well.
/r/RPChristians18/06/18 01:28 AM
1

Very fair. I'm going to fight this with all I have. I guess what feelings are valid to act upon? Or is it still as few as possible?
/r/RPChristians17/06/18 07:28 PM
1

Well said.
/r/RPChristians17/06/18 02:54 PM
1

She is, as in she is a Christian. I'm sorry I'm communicating so unclearly.
/r/RPChristians17/06/18 01:41 AM
1

She is. Sorry if I hadn't made that clear before.
/r/RPChristians17/06/18 01:30 AM
1

Also, I see what you're saying, but I meant it more from my perspective, not that I deserve something more because my motives are "purer" more of I found someone I'm compatibile with past a sexual aspect, and as such I should consider it more heavily.
/r/RPChristians17/06/18 01:12 AM
1

The ride or die chick. It feels like a lot of Christian marriages come off like that to me. Appreciate everything else you said though.
/r/RPChristians17/06/18 01:06 AM
1

So sexual compatibility should be second after God?
/r/RPChristians17/06/18 01:04 AM
2

Would you mind elaborating? There's definitely some disconnect going on that I'd like to remedy.
/r/RPChristians17/06/18 12:29 AM
2

I didn't explain that fully, my bad. There's girls that I'm attracted to where it's pretty much just raw sexual attraction. But this one I don't notice the sexual attraction if there is any. If that makes sense. I'm definitely human and a guy that's no better than anyone. Sorry if it came off that way.
/r/RPChristians17/06/18 12:23 AM
2

Wait, that's all I should expect to get from her? I thought the fact that I was attracted to her for more than that would be a plus.
/r/RPChristians16/06/18 07:06 PM
1

Mark Manson is great. It was heck yeah till the past couple days, which is why I'm lost.
/r/RPChristians16/06/18 06:32 PM
2

Why is it presented in such a way in Christian communities though? And in a lot of the good marriages I've seen, at least the parts I have. I've been taking the want more and more to God, which is why I feel like stuff started to shift, but it feels like there's a physical intimacy aspect I'd never be able to experience with God, and holding her last night just reinforced that I guess.
/r/RPChristians16/06/18 06:30 PM
1

I agree. The issue is that I've known her for a few years on and off , and this just happened. I thought it would have happened sooner. And definitely no sex yet.
/r/RPChristians16/06/18 05:07 PM
1

That's what I'm trying to figure out and I don't really understand yet. I think overall validation or feeling needed/wanted, but without the sexual part it's not very clear.
/r/RPChristians16/06/18 05:03 PM
1

I tried to explain it in the other reply to the comment, but it's not about that in this situation. It's a different kind of attraction. I don't feel a large degree of sexual attraction, if that makes sense. Unless it's repressed and I don't realize it.
/r/RPChristians16/06/18 04:03 PM
3

I mean she's decently fit, and I've always found her attractive in a unique way, but no, I don't think I've ever gotten anything out of the ordinary.
/r/RPChristians16/06/18 03:38 PM
1

When you put it that way I see my issue in wording things. Sorry about that.
/r/RPChristians29/05/18 08:17 PM
1

In my head it was almost the same thing because I'm 90% sure I'm not going to hear from her at all, and I'm not a big texter.
/r/RPChristians29/05/18 07:41 PM
1

That's some great advice. Some of it is applicable. I think I may have needed to use a better term for it. Something may happen in the future, but it's clearly not right now. So I meant ghosting in the sense of not obsessing over things and trying to keep up with her, while living my own life in such a way that it doesn't drag me down presently, whether things work out later or not. Edit: basically if my mind is consumed with the situation 80% of the time, I'd like to get it down to a 0-10%.
/r/RPChristians29/05/18 07:18 PM
1

What's the best way to do that, other than time? I'm trying everything. Have effectively ghosted her/not checked any of her social media since she left. It feels like it helps sometimes, but other times even prayer feels lost.
/r/RPChristians29/05/18 06:21 PM
1

That's a great list. The problem is I need to get over this hump where nothing seems to be an option, or that I wouldn't like it. I know it's pitiful, but whenever someone brings up my oneitis and all the great guys she's with it sends me into a downward spiral, even when things are starting to look up.
/r/RPChristians26/05/18 03:08 PM
1

Regarding the interests part, I think that's one of my biggest hurdles right now. I quit gaming/watching TV on my own months ago, and those were my major hobbies outside of work. I had some other ones such as much and art, but after a lot of thought I can't bring myself to do those again. So in reality, I have no idea where to begin in finding interests again. Nothing I've tried has appeal. And regarding TV and gaming, I've tried going back to those in moderation, but outside of a social context…
/r/RPChristians25/05/18 10:43 AM
1

All of your failures stem from this problem. This oneitis has a serious grip on you, and it is affecting every other part of your life. What does the future hold? Well, that's up to you and God. But I suspect you are concerned with what the future holds for you and your oneitis. You're right. I'm reading no more mr. nice guy, and I'm realizing I'm very much the enmeshing type of individual. I don't understand how to break free from this though at this point. Brute force hasn't worked so far. So …
/r/RPChristians24/05/18 12:45 AM
1

Appreciate the input. I used to have hobbies, but they have become dull. I need to figure out why.
/r/RPChristians24/05/18 12:41 AM
1

I thought all those things are supposed to help cure depression. If it's not those things, then what is it?
/r/TheRedPill21/05/18 04:34 PM
1

Yeah, that's where I'm at. I don't think I can white knuckle if anymore. I gotta change at a deeper level. Thank you to all of you so much. Given me a lot to work with.
/r/RPChristians21/04/18 01:03 AM
1

Is this something I have to live with and fake acting in a way a rational person would? That makes a lot more sense looking at it in that way.
/r/RPChristians20/04/18 06:57 PM
1

What do you mean by understanding? I think that's part of the problem. This is one of the few areas of my life where I feel something. Which could be why I put a lot of emphasis into it.
/r/RPChristians20/04/18 06:46 PM
1

You're right. 100% right. My imagination is overactive, and it definitely drags me down. And when you put it like that, I realize how stupid it is. I keep trying, but I have so much difficulty not letting my emotions rule me.
/r/RPChristians20/04/18 06:12 PM
1

I can't. Wow. I can't. I mean, she is helpful and kind, and does go out of her way to help with things at times. But I guess to a degree it is primarily about the positive emotions, and avoiding the negative emotion. Like when she leaves to go things, my mind automatically jumps to her sleeping around/partying. And I think that's a huge part of the RP influence. And it sucks because so much of this is trying to control, because of how it negatively impacts my life.
/r/RPChristians20/04/18 05:46 PM
2

Wow. That was really good. I've never thought of it like that. I'm guessing memorization is a good place to start? Something I've done in the past, but have definitely fallen down on.
/r/RPChristians20/04/18 05:42 PM
1

I 100% believe that, I just have a lot of trouble living that out practically. I'll do well for a few minutes then boom, train of negative thought derails everything.
/r/RPChristians20/04/18 03:44 AM
1

I guess that's the problem. I'm basing so much on feelings. And I don't know why or how to stop it.
/r/RPChristians20/04/18 01:32 AM
1

Tuesdays and Wednesdays as well. I guess the issue is it doesn't feel like a mission, how do make it have that pull?
/r/RPChristians20/04/18 12:41 AM
1

I'm very active in my church ministries with kids, but I'm guessing that doesn't count.
/r/RPChristians19/04/18 11:36 PM
1

The issue is that I have no clue. I've found things two or three times that I thought were it, but it always fades, or I find it was for the wrong reason. I've spent hours thinking about it to no avail.
/r/RPChristians19/04/18 10:44 PM
2

How much sleep do you run off of?
/r/TheRedPill03/04/18 01:29 AM
3

How much of that is adding more and balancing things like sleep? Cause I could cut down on sleep and that would make me exhausted.
/r/TheRedPill29/03/18 04:27 PM
10

How do you do all this effectively when your mind is weighed down by life/emotions/oneitis? I'm trying to do these things to a degree, and work harder and more effectively at work, but most of the time it just feels like my brain is taken up by distractions and thoughts of a girl, and it makes everything more dull and difficult, because it's really not want I want to be doing.
/r/TheRedPill29/03/18 03:39 PM
1

When you put it like that, I really have no excuse to complain or not get better. Thank you for sharing. It really helps when there's real life examples that get more detailed about how you more advanced men are doing it.
/r/RPChristians23/03/18 01:34 PM
1

That is some really good advice. As well as good view on non-negotiables, which I have definitely negotiated myself out of more than I'd care to admit. How do you deal with when you are using the remaining time, and you end up not having a lot of time to spend with people/the girl you like, and you end up doing stuff that is supposed to improving you, but the whole time it is just a depressing venture? I suffer from FOMO more than I'd like to admit I think.
/r/RPChristians23/03/18 12:59 AM
1

I guess the issue at this point is that I'm struggling with finding myself living effectively in other areas. I cut out some addictions a few months ago (gaming, TV were the big ones), and nothing has filled that hole yet in a sense, so I feel that I'm definitely over prioritizing this part of my life.
/r/RPChristians22/03/18 09:10 PM
1

That makes a lot of sense. I will really try to internalize it. What should I be looking for if the perspective does change?
/r/RPChristians22/03/18 05:24 PM
1

I guess balance is my big issue too. As in I probably have none/very little. How do I balance it so I progress, but also do things I want, but not too much, but at the same time available for others to some degree?
/r/RPChristians22/03/18 04:33 PM
1

Fair enough. To clarify, you're saying I'm probably thinking my SMV is higher than it really is? I guess part of my issue is that in my head improving myself above and beyond what I'm already doing with life is already exhausting, and will take even more away from spending time with the person, which will negatively impact my end goal. Which I'm pretty sure is super wrong thinking, I just have no clue how to change it. e.g. Going to bed earlier or doing stuff with her/friends, I will almost alwa…
/r/RPChristians22/03/18 03:23 PM
2

Oh wow. I've never seen that side of things. It's always that situation and ends up being an LDR and somehow working out. I wish I had more examples of this in my life. I feel like I've set my standards really low for finding something and how it should work. Which just gets me more depressed because I already have way too much emotion invested into this.
/r/RPChristians22/03/18 03:07 PM
1

I've never seen that with anyone other than a super unhealthy relationship. How do I find that in a good context? That lasts?
/r/RPChristians21/03/18 06:56 PM
1

She isn't as attracted to you as you think she is. Women will crawl over broken glass to try and lock down a guy they see as a stud. I keep seeing this, and really thought it was an TRP-only concept. How do I look at it from a christian perspective? It just seems like a lack of self control and neediness to me. Or something that will burn out fast. I would ultimately would want marriage. We knew each other when we were younger, and have now ended up working together and are involved in many chur…
/r/RPChristians20/03/18 09:35 PM
1

I understand what you're saying, where you're coming from, and that I need to internalize this. The issue I'm running into is that all the girls like that were not of good moral character and direction, and I've never run into anyone with those qualities to act in that way towards me. Is it that I'm inherently flawed in my pool of statistics?
/r/RPChristians20/03/18 09:31 PM
1

She's considering going somewhere else to school. Sorry, I meant LDR. So that would the main transition. And the main thing is keeping us is that she really values her education and what she's wanting to do with her life, and she's had a lot of people give up on stuff for guys, and she doesn't want that. And I support that choice, but she still sees me as a hindrance to it I think. Neither of us are dating anyone.
/r/RPChristians20/03/18 05:10 PM
1

Are you still around 20% BF? Have your lifts (especially your lower body lifts) improves any? I may have lost 1-2% but definitely still higher. However, I've 5 pounds and kept it off. My lifts have also all gone up. Moreso upper body to be honest, but improvement in the legs is 15% better than last message. Have you made progress towards finding a better job? My income has increased some (now in the top 50% as you mentioned last time), and I've completed a couple certifications in my field since…
/r/RPChristians16/03/18 09:22 PM
1

I guess that is the problem. I am really struggling to develop that mindset effectively.
/r/RPChristians16/01/18 06:23 PM
1

You're right. Thank you.
/r/RPChristians03/01/18 04:21 PM
1

You're right. I've got to disconnect sex being such a high priority. And learn to want to improve myself for the sake of improving myself.
/r/RPChristians03/01/18 04:21 PM
1

Oh the holding me back part was referring to pre-marital sex. That was my bad. But you're 100% right about the other stuff. I have so much work to do and things that can be done and I keep trying to hide behind stupid things. It's tearing me up when in reality I'm falsely believing I'm farther along in my improvement than I really am, and I haven't even gotten to a point that it should be an issue for me. I'm focusing on the wrong things.
/r/RPChristians03/01/18 04:50 AM
1

I agree with all that. The issue is that it feels like I'm going to lose her if I pull away. Which is stupid I know. It's just how I feel. The other issue is that she is in my life a lot regardless of how I feel. I will see her a lot even if I try to pull away. My body fat % is in the 20s Bench: 240 Deadlift: 260 Squat: 150 I wouldn't say my style is amazing, but have decent haircut and facial hair most of the time. I don't work in an SMV boosting field, and definitely below top 50%. Working on …
/r/RPChristians03/01/18 04:16 AM
1

Sorry. You're right. I'm 24 and single. Finished college last summer and have been working since the fall. It is a woman from my church. I made my intentions known and there was mutual feelings for awhile, but she has been going hot/cold and admits she has no clue what she wants. I want to be married and start a family. What do you mean stats? I generally work out 3-5 times a week. My diet is not the best though. I've read almost all of 100-300, starting 400. I am against sex before marriage is …
/r/RPChristians03/01/18 03:35 AM
1

What is the conversation? I didn't understand what was trying to be communicated.
/r/RPChristians02/01/18 08:19 PM
36

Not the discussion regarding wood I was expecting, but did not disappoint.
/r/TheRedPill04/12/17 06:41 PM
18

"Good, I'm partial to raisins myself"
/r/seduction01/09/17 04:22 PM
1

I'm sorry, but I still don't see how that relates to the situation. I get the general idea though.
/r/askTRP28/07/17 02:31 AM
1

I understand the statement of her not being very attracted at this point, but then I question why she would even say that she liked me beyond a friend level.
/r/askTRP28/07/17 01:05 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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