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hematomatoed Archive

View 5 posts and 303 comments by hematomatoed on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Nah, I think it's entirely relevant, and you get to delete my thoughts but you don't get to edit them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/18 01:36 AM
1

Well, the word "masculine" means "the traits a culture associates with being male." Is being a rapist a trait that modern Americans associate with being male? You betcha. A little weirdly, that's true for white men especially, even though statistically speaking, people of color do more raping.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/18 12:07 AM
1

Yeah, we both have veto power over particularly distasteful casual partners, but it's only ever been invoked once, when I was sleeping with a girl who found it necessary to talk shit about our girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/18 08:27 PM
1

Well, the wife's boyfriend lives eight hours away and visits monthly, and the wife and I share a girlfriend who is with us most of the time and there are a lot of threesomes. And then I also have a girlfriend halfway across the country who I only get to see once or twice a year. How does that plug into the equation?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/18 08:17 PM
1

Yeah, I suppose all polyamorous men are cucks. Though we're cucks who get to have multiple girlfriends.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/18 08:09 PM
1

My wife is in a polyamorous relationship with both me and another deadpan snarker, so I guess she must be into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/18 07:46 PM
3

I'm pretty confident that any study would confirm that the vast majority of sexual abuse against eleven-year-old girls is committed by men. I don't have a link to such a study, but if one were to be commissioned, I'd bet a large sum of money on the outcome. In terms of "abuse in general," that would require a lot of defining exactly what constitutes "abuse."
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/18 01:36 AM
3

Yeah, hairy armpits are super sexy on some women. Kinda depends on the woman though.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 07:09 PM
1

Well, I have a two year old and he doesn't understand the concept that one could choose one's own clothes. If he were insisting on dresses and rejecting jeans, he would be an unusually advanced two year old.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 05:08 PM
1

I've never seen an unshaven Arab girl naked, but I'd imagine it's not that much different ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 04:33 PM
1

I have a son. I would let him wear dresses after a conversation. I'd make sure he understood that some people would tease him and give him a hard time about it, and if he still wanted to do it, that's his choice to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 04:18 PM
1

I like body hair and find it sexy. I would be pleased.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 04:13 PM
1

My personal guess would be that: SJs tend to be bluepills who are not particularly feminist. In other words, they're just "traditional": however it was for them in high school is the natural way of things forever. SPs are usually more interested in the personal than the political. They're likely to be redpills if make and feminists if female - but unlikely to spend time on Reddit talking about it. NFs tend to incline toward feminism: it seems right and just to them. NTs have carefully constructe…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 12:37 AM
3

All right, I guess this is the automod? Anyway, I recognize the phenomenon of which you speak but do not consider it a "strategy." I'm just cantankerous now and have lost all my patience. In my twenties, as they say, I wouldn't kick a sexy girl out of bed for eating crackers. These days I want a cracker-free bed more than I want anything else in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 07:37 PM
1

A lot of people have done a handful of impulsive and damaged things at some point in their lives. Things they don't typically bring up except with their closest friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 06:46 PM
4

Sometimes we know things not because a college professor interviewed eight hundred undergrads and wrote it up, but because we've experienced these things firsthand. Otherwise there would be no point in bothering to communicate with each other, other than to exchange links to medical journals we all should have already read.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 06:05 PM
2

Ummmmmmm what are you asking for here, a link to the New England Journal of Medicine? I base this on being forty and having had a few dozen female partners and close friends who I regularly talk to.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 05:57 PM
2

Well that one didn't work at all, did it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 05:53 PM
1

Well, 95% is obviously a pulled-from-the-ass number. Are women comparatively more interested in relationships and less interested in casual sex? Absolutely. But virtually every woman I know has at least at some point in her life sought sex, not to lock down a partner, but because she was turned on. Also, women are often turned on by kinky situations, even moreso than men. "Fucking a stranger at a friend's funeral just to feel alive again"? A very female thing to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 05:52 PM
1

I am deeply annoyed by accusations of "mansplaining," which is rarely any more than telling someone to shut up while using a pseudo-intellectual buzzword.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 05:47 PM
4

On multiple occasions in my life, horny girls have asked me to come over and fuck them. To me this flat-out falsifies the theory, or at least any universal application of it. NSA sex and anonymous hookups and FWB arrangements exist. Not every woman is seeking monogamy every time she fucks. There is a grain of truth in Fry's theory - but only a grain. To the extent that it is a rule, it is a rule with more exceptions than adherents.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 05:42 PM
7

Just a couple points here: Star Trek has always been super progressive. From Uhura and Kirk's interracial kiss to Janeway and Sisko being the first (or nearly the first) woman and black man to spearhead a major sci-fi franchise, it's taken progressive stances for half a century. So this is a lot less like the Ghostbusters idiocy and a lot more like just Star Trek being Star Trek. Art has not declined in the last few decades, and that's a ridiculous thing to say. The big blockbuster films are pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 04:08 AM
2

It would depend on the legal definition of "sexual assault." In the state of Nevada, for example, the legal definition of "sexual assault" is penetrative rape, and the legal definition of "rape"... doesn't exist. The word has no legal definition in Nevada. I'm not a military lawyer, but I doubt the military uses some definition of "sexual assault" with three degrees where the first one includes butt honking.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 10:37 PM
1

Most statutes do not consider ass grabbing "sexual assault." Sexual assault is a serious felony. Ass grabbing is usually covered under something like "Open and Gross Lewdness."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 09:32 PM
6

Many legal definitions of "sexual assault" are indistinguishable from the common definition of "rape." Not entirely sure which one the military uses, but it's probably not the one that includes boob honking.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 09:13 PM
4

You glanced at one sentence, decided the numbers didn't "prove" anything, and declared that if it's unproven it must not be true. Because you don't want it to be true. But it is. The military is constantly having Congressional hearings trying to address the face that all these 18, 19 year old girl cadets are constantly getting raped.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 07:29 PM
1

You are wilfilly ignorant of reality. Rape is utterly rampant in the U.S. military.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 07:25 PM
1

Dinner, huh. Thing is, like 95% of people are indecisive about dinner. "What do you want for dinner?" "Well, we have 7,000 options and I'm not having a specific craving. What do you want?" "Dude! Don't be indecisive!! I asked you!!" "Fine, want me to make some salmon?" "Ugh. No. Anything but that. That sounds awful." "Well, I said something and now it's your fucking turn!" "You didn't say 'something', you said hot greasy fish on a summer night! Come on, dude." "Fine!! Um... Subway?" "ugggghhhh..…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 07:23 PM
1

Right, it means that probably twice as many were raped, since most don't even bother reporting it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 07:14 PM
1

This Wikipedia page links to the statistics. More than a third of female soldiers are raped, and more than half of them are retaliated against if they say anything. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_assault_in_the_United_States_military If you're a soldier and you're a woman... you gonna get raped!!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 07:10 PM
1

Statistics suggest that the military is basically one giant rape factory.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 07:03 PM
1

In my experience it depends so heavily on the culture of that specific job that trying to answer this in a general sense is almost futile. Wal Mart? Everyone gets treated like shit. Equal shit. A law office? There are only two men in the office who aren't lawyers and they try not to get sucked into the office politics that always seem to arise when everyone is female. The military? The women are raped, constantly, by their fellow soldiers. A sales force? The women may have the option to use sex …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 06:37 PM
2

Taking "horrible insult and hate crime" off the table for now, a waitress once told my friend "You look a lot like the lead singer of Blues Traveler!" He was insulted. John Popper is morbidly obese and kind of ugly. I think it's fair to say her words were an insult, even though she didn't mean them to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 06:14 PM
1

It all depends on what sexual harassment is. I think we would generally agree that something is an insult if the recipient feels insulted. But that's okay, because an insult is not a crime; it is not the basis of a lawsuit; it is barely a no-no. So what is sexual harassment? Well, it's not a crime. It can be the basis of a lawsuit in some - but not most - situations. Yet we're being taught that it's a huge no-no. That makes us think of it like it's a crime - and then like "Whoa, the definition o…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 06:06 PM
6

None taken. But I would argue that explicit verbal consent is not usually an element of rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/18 04:36 PM
3

In retrospect that would have been the right call! At the time there was pride involved and some vague hope that either she'd get into it or it might be some kind of kinky something or other. But, no. It was awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/18 02:35 AM
1

If any given person decides they're better than 80% of potential partners, does it make them correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/18 11:12 PM
2

I can't figure out the mechanics of how that would work. A woman posts a thousand pictures of herself half naked and gets ten thousand followers. Okay. So what does that mean? Does it mean she has access to men of higher SMV? Does it mean that her SMV increases or decreases? Does it mean she doesn't even bother dating because all she needed was ten thousand followers? Also, not for nothing, but I kinda reject the entire notion that SMV exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/18 11:01 PM
4

Well, you should consider taking everything that has anything to do with gender and isolating it so we don't have to read through a massive wall of ancient advice about when to stop disciplining your children (apparently their sixteenth birthday) and other various irrelevancies.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/18 10:20 PM
4

Approximately 90% of this has nothing at all to do with gender, let alone any familiar conception of the redpill.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/18 10:16 PM
1

Not if you have a fake ID guy!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/18 10:14 PM
3

Yep! Married right now, with a toddler.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/18 09:53 PM
1

Well, it's not too amazing a story. I wanted to fuck my ex-wife. She said no. I said "come on." She said "Don't say 'come on'!!" I said "You never want to have sex anymore!" She said FINE, YOU CAN USE MY HOLE!" Then she laid back like a dead fish and I took off her pants and fucked her totally motionless body. After I was done I was angry at her for putting me through that humiliation and she insisted that I had just raped her. Then she told several of my friends that I raped her. Hooraaaay firs…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/18 09:43 PM
1

No, I haven't been accused of rape for speaking to a woman. I was accused of rape for having consensual sex, once, though. That was pretty shitty.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/18 09:15 PM
3

I would agree that men should not have sex with women unless they are prepared to be good and responsible fathers to children. I disagree with the "marriage" element. There are many ways to be a good father, and marrying someone you don't love isn't really doing the kids any favors: you're just modeling a bad version of marriage. Probably better for them if their custody is split between two couples who do love each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/18 07:19 PM
2

Well, I'm talking about the OkCupid blog post, plus one guy I know who just sends his dick to thousands of women and has casual anonymous sex every bit as often as he gets sexual harassment complaints and threats to call the police. Weak evidence. Reading too deeply into some blog post, plus a single anecdote. Still, I have to think: you wouldn't see so many dick picks if it didn't sometimes work. If a guy sends his dick to 100 women and 99 say "FUCK YOU, YOU REVOLTING ASSHOLE" and one has sex w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/18 05:32 AM
6

I don't know, there's some weak evidence that like 5% of women love dick pics, and that 5% never actually admits it, they just fuck the guys who send them. OkCupid once had an old now-deleted blog post about how all the things people say they hate... actually work really well, which is why they happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/18 05:08 AM
2

That's not true; if any substantial portion of women are responding to this duality, then it's a common explanation for what we're seeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/18 07:12 PM
3

Replying under automod because man. My theory is that women are torn between two deeply-ingrained social norms: one that says that a great deal of her value is her sexiness, and one that says if she shows off her sexiness, she's a slut. So many women jump at every opportunity to find some socially acceptable way of getting validation for her sexiness without receiving criticism for sluttiness. Halloween is an excellent one, where she can say "Hey, I'm SUPPOSED to be in costume, I didn't make a c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/18 06:41 PM
3

Yes, well, you can mind your own business and expect not to get tricked into having children, because you aren't running around sticking your dick in women you have no reason to trust. What you cannot do is have children and abandon them. That's abhorrent, and as far as I'm concerned it's as though you found some technicality where you can argue it's only fair if you get to run over pedestrians.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/18 04:39 PM
3

Of course I do. I'm a voter in an approximately-democratic government. That's exactly how we determine which rights people are and are not allowed to have. There are limits to what a black man can do to protect himself from a police officer; he can't, for example, opt out of being policed. And there are limits to what you can do to protect yourself from paying child support. One of those limits is that you can't have kids and refuse to support them. It's terrible for those kids, and it's terribl…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/18 03:07 PM
1

The meaning of "equal rights" becomes problematic when it's a case of unequal biology. You want the right to an abortion? Well, you can't get pregnant, so you can't really have one. A doctor can stick a set of blades up your ass if you want but it won't stop the baby from being born. And there's nothing "equal" about preventing a birth, and ababdoning a living child to poverty. That's not an equal right. It's a special right - and one you shouldn't have.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/18 03:27 AM
1

Everyone is allowed to have some rights and must be denied some rights. This is the only way a society will function. Give everyone all the rights they want, and everything will almost immediately be on fire. And your right to abandon your children to poverty is about as interesting to me as your right to shit on my lawn.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/18 03:07 AM
3

Well, my ethnic background includes English, French, Belgian, Italian, Finnish, Swiss, and Dutch. With French being a tiny plurality - probably around 30% of my heritage. So I call myself "white" because if I get more specific, it gets long.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 10:28 PM
1

Identity is complicated. I don't think of myself in terms of either of those. My identity is things like "writer" and "parent." However, I am a white man, and many people who are not white men insist that it's a form of privilege that I am allowed to be defined by things other than sex and culture. That black women don't just get to be "poets" - they have to be "black female poets."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 10:10 PM
1

Eh, I'm an articulate upper-middle-class white person who's read a hundred trial transcripts. The courts have always given me exactly everything I want in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 09:53 PM
1

That's your belief. I believe that men should not. The majority believes men should not. Therefore men do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 09:02 PM
1

What you're saying may be true and may not; it's a hypothetical so it's not as though we know whether the woman, for example, has a drug problem, or which judge is hearing the case. Doesn't matter, either way. I don't walk away from my children and I'll do absolutely anything possible to make their lives even five percent better.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 08:58 PM
1

No. That wouldn't change my mind at all. That's my fucking son or daughter. They aren't going to grow up raised by some psychopathic scammer of a single mother who will turn them into garbage people. I would fight her in court for full custody on the basis that she's clearly mentally ill and guilty of fraud.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 07:49 PM
1

Yeah. It is. Look, people can't usually tell the difference between "I decided I was wrong about you" and "I was leading you on from the start." How could they?? The first time I got accused of "playing mind games" was by this girl who was just boring as fuck and I stopped talking to her because she was too boring to live.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 07:15 AM
1

There are some men in the world who are just pieces of shit. But there are a lot of men in the world who want something, and meet a woman, and think she might be that something, and lead her to believe she is definitely that something, and then decide she obviously isn't that something, and then leave. I've been one of those men. We make women sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 07:06 AM
2

I cap it at 12 because pre-puberty is truly the most important developmental time. If you get knocked around after that, you may recover. If you get knocked around too much before that, you probably never will. I'm not saying 13-25 year olds aren't important, just that it's more important to prioritize 0-12 year olds first. Now, when it comes to the question "Who pays: the father or the taxpayer," each is approximately the same with respect to the well-being of these young children. So then we h…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 01:38 AM
2

I thought I'd been pretty clear on my core principle: pretty much the core question is "what is best for children aged 0-12." If we as a society fuck that up, we don't have a future. We get high crime and an uncompetitive workforce full of damaged people. We get a slew of social problems that reverberate for generations. Early childhood is just so astonishingly important. If you don't get through it okay, you'll never be okay. An adult can take some hard knocks and adapt. Make it too hard on an …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 01:29 AM
1

Indeed. We cannot rid the world of unfairness, nor is that even the ultimate goal. Sometimes making things more fair also makes them less good.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 01:14 AM
2

We're looking at extremely dissimilar tax burdens there. The administrative costs of overseeing an adoption are maybe a couple thousand dollars at most. For the taxpayer to take over child support entirely, we're looking at about $110,000 plus administrative costs. Banning safe haven laws would undoubtedly put some children in danger; I'm not willing to do that just to stand on the principle of "pay for your own responsibilities." I'd much rather that baby end up on a church doorstep than in a d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 12:45 AM
2

Well, a blanket right to Paternal Surrender would mean a whole spectrum of things, from "She sabotaged the condom and now I'll have to drop out of college to make these payments" to, you know, "I just want to have unprotected sex with hundreds of women off dating sites and collect classic cars and I'm gonna." Covers the whole spectrum. Almost certainly the median case would be somewhere in between: "We met, we had sex, we broke up, I just want to put it all behind me and if I have that legal opt…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 11:58 PM
2

Welfare's always a thread-the-needle type of situation. Too little, and you leave people in avoidable poverty. Too much, and you encourage laziness and indolence. But is "I don't particularly want to support my child" an example of avoidable poverty? It doesn't ring that way to me at all. Just a "hey, if she doesn't have to pay, I shouldn't have to either, so y'all can go ahead and pay for the kid I abandoned while I collect classic cars." It's common knowledge that there's a long waiting list f…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 11:30 PM
1

Yeah, that's true; and truth be told, we could define about a dozen other lines. We could put the line, for example, at the first differentiation from embryonic stem cells.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 11:13 PM
2

Fairness isn't the only worthwhile standard, though. There's a difference between "right" and "good," and the two rather often come into conflict. For example, it might be more "fair" to women if doctors were required to deform all boys' elbows at birth to make women and men more physically equal to each other. Fair - but not good. To my knowledge, there are no "Baby Moses" children who are never adopted. Infants are always adopted. It's older children in foster care who end up being a burden on…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 11:11 PM
2

But adoption and safe haven laws don't burden taxpayers. They're the sole responsibility of adoptive parents who choose to take on that financial responsibility. Yes, I get that women have several options to not be a parent in the first place, and thus dodge the whole system. Yes, that's not fair. Life isn't fair. It's probably more fair that I have to pay if I knock up some woman than that you have to pay if I knock up some woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 10:49 PM
2

That's another option. But I'm not sure why we'd consider it horrifically unfair for men to have to pay for their own unwanted children, yet totally fair for non-promiscuous taxpayers to have to pay for promiscuous men to run around knocking women up.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 10:40 PM
2

Sure we do. They're adopted into families screened by agencies. They're generally headed for a life that is far better than the phoning-it-in bare minimum you advocate for.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 10:03 PM
2

No, I value children more than adults. Is there a slur for that? Maybe you could create one from the appropriate Greek or Latin affixes.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 09:53 PM
2

No, "good enough" isn't fine. That's the next generation we're talking about here. If we do a "good enough" job on them and they do a "good enough" job on their kids, then they all slowly slump into mediocrity and there's just no hope for any of them and no point of any of this. I have indeed heard of Baby Moses laws. In this day and age, we have a situation where there are financially secure people looking to adopt infants and give them the best life possible. I am comfortable with that. If tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 09:48 PM
2

It's the job of both the parents to ensure the best possible life they can for any children they may have. It's not specifically Mom's job; it's not specifically Dad's job; it's both of their jobs. And that's true even if they're divorced or were never even in a relationship or didn't even want the kid. The kid exists; the kid is now their responsibility. And they don't get to abrogate it. And the law, to some extent, should reflect that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 09:40 PM
3

Quite clearly, my wife does not have a legal right to throw our son in the river. Nor do I believe she should.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 09:37 PM
3

Sure, we can agree to disagree. One thing we can perhaps agree on is that there's no one line. There's a multitude of lines. The first line is "having sex." Various churches, including the Catholic church, say: don't wear a condom! Don't masturbate! That sperm has a right to meet that egg! The child has a right to be born! The second line is "sperm meets egg." Some people say "Okay! There's your human being, that cell. It has rights." The third line is "nerves connect to brain," toward the end o…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 09:35 PM
2

That depends on a lot of things! In some cases it's in the best interest of a child's happiness and security for Mom to stay home with them, and in some cases it's in the best interest of a child's happiness and security for Mom to go make some more money. Certainly "financial abortion" doesn't do anything to help Mom stay at home with her children.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 09:29 PM
3

No. It doesn't. Imagine two arguments: "We must put pedophiles in prison because they're a danger to children!" "We must put hunters in prison because they're a danger to deer!" It's the same argument. They're intensely similar. Both people sound exactly like each other. You're not a hypocrite for believing one and not the other. It's a simple matter of values.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 09:26 PM
3

I do not hold the same view for a four month fetus and a four year old child, no. I also do not hold the same view for a deer or a blender. They are different things. The line is, of course, not a beautiful sharp thing, so we have to do the best we can to create some semi-arbitrary line most of us can live with. All I know for sure is that a four month fetus and a four year old child are on opposite sides of that line.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 09:24 PM
3

It's unclear to me why you think any of this elevates women above their own children. If a woman has a child, she also has a responsibility to support that child. Why should anyone ascribe importance to "my morals"? Unless they want to, they shouldn't. It's the moral consensus that determines the shape of the laws, and I'm one tiny piece of that consensus. You know. One vote, if you will.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 09:22 PM
3

Yeah, I don't acknowledge a "right to be born." I believe rights pretty much start when you are born, or at least are very close to it. I get that some people feel like rights should start at the first diploid cell, but I don't see any strong reason to believe that; why should anything that has never experienced a thought and cannot feel pain have rights?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 09:20 PM
1

Yeah, all people's attitudes and arguments can be compared, because fundamentally we all have similar brains and communicate in similar ways; and the arguments of any two people on opposing sides of any issue often dramatically resemble each others' in more senses than one. So tell me something I hadn't figured out by the time I was fourteen.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 09:07 PM
1

Fundamental questions of values? Sure. Some people say that a fetus's life comes first, period. Well, those aren't my values. But my values certain include "a child's happiness and security is one of the most important things any moral person will work to ensure."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 08:57 PM
1

I do not support financial abortions. While I recognize that it unfair that a woman can abrogate her responsibility and a man can not, there are simply always going to be unfair things in life. And a child's financial security outweighs unfairness to a man who wants consequence-free sex, every time.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 08:51 PM
1

Wow, that has not been my experience at all; I've had girlfriends who require completely different things to get them off.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/18 04:05 PM
1

Hmm. So if we're using the "practice makes you better" model, one has to ask: does practicing on one woman, over and over, make you better? I suppose maybe it makes you better for her specifically, assuming you're making that improvement a priority and not just repeating the routine you know will probably get you both off.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/18 03:54 PM
1

Twice a day? Yeah, maybe for the first few months. Most married couples fairly quickly settle into a routine of irregular, maybe-once-or-twice-a-week sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/18 03:48 PM
1

Ah, I see, you're scrolling through my history looking for various reasons that I can't possibly be right about anything. Well, let's have a look at yours and... wow. A self-described "complete and utter failure who should have died young." Yeah, dude, clearly I'm the one with the problems here ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/18 03:21 PM
1

Well, I've got a happy family and you give off the strong impression of being a typical lonely basement-dwelling Reddit troll - so don't shed too many tears for me, dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/18 03:14 PM
1

Oh, you know, she rates me "We're not in high school anymore." Meaning both that we acknowledge we don't have those taut teenage bodies and youthful good looks; and that we've outgrown handing out numerical ratings as though attractiveness falls on a single linear spectrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/18 03:11 PM
3

Emotionally damaged, unattractive men who have learned that being hyper-assertive and playing the numbers will always get you laid sooner than later.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/18 03:01 PM
1

If you think my wife is interested in sparing my feelings, you haven't met her ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/18 02:59 PM
5

In my experience - and I strongly believe this would bear itself out statistically - the men with the most access to sex are not the men who have the most sex. I know three or four guys who most girls would consider total "hunks" or "dreamboats." In every single case, you know what those guys did? They met a beautiful girl quite early in their twenties and married her. And I know two ultra-promiscuous guys who have had more than 200 partners apiece. One of them weighs 350 pounds. The other is th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/18 08:42 AM
1

It is my wife's view that particularly attractive men usually make no attempt to engage a woman's kinks or pay any particular attention to her specific sexual needs because they know that they can always just move on to another woman if things aren't perfect on the first try. Whereas a less attractive man is going to make damn sure she's satisfied because he actually wants to hold on to her. And for that reason she'd never date anyone above a seven.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/18 06:35 AM
4

In my experience that is decidedly incorrect. Chad doesn't get anywhere near the most experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/18 06:33 AM
7

I'm an alcoholic. I've been dry for a couple weeks, but ordinarily I get good and drunk every other night. Have I been raped five hundred times? I suppose that legally speaking I am the victim of hundreds of rapes, but I sure as shit don't see it that way, and wouldn't want anyone to be prosecuted.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/18 01:50 AM
2

There was something about the women that tipped the sexologists off as to the question of whether they were capable of achieving vaginal orgasm. Questions like "how much sex had the women had" or "how recently had the women had sex" were not studied.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/18 01:12 AM
2

What becomes apparent is how miserably you're misinterpreting a 2008 study. In 2008, sexologists were shown a group of Belgian women walking and asked "Do you think this woman is capable of achieving vaginal orgasm, or that she's anorgasmic and does not orgasm?" They guessed right significantly more than half of the time. Based on what? Well, they claimed "gait," but who can really say for sure. All women in that study were sexually active.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/18 12:50 AM
1

No, a playa is defined as a man who attempts to have a great deal of casual sex without commitment. The vast majority of them are failures pretending to be successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/18 10:59 AM
2

No, I'm saying that all those footnotes who were too selfish or weak to raise children were not men. And you're clearly not even a footnote. The best you can hope for is drone, and I have a strong suspicion I'm talking to a fuckboy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/18 05:10 AM
1

I am a man. And you, it seems, are and intend to be... something else. There are five things a male can be: A man puts his heart and soul into raising healthy children. A failure attempts to raise healthy children but, well, fails. A drone abrogates his responsibility to raise a child and either toils away for a paycheck or dies on some battlefield and is swiftly forgotten and buried in an unmarked grave. A footnote, rather than raising a child, manages to create himself some small legacy - mayb…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 10:46 PM
1

No, bigotry is an accurate descriptor of someone who complains bitterly about a class of people, expounds on how bad they are, and can't stand to be around them. It's got nothing to do with politics, or social justice, or the left wing, or buzzwords - it's just a perfect example of what a bigot is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 08:03 PM
1

Ah, the "it can't be me because it's them" argument. Yes, of course MGTOWs are obvious bigots, and the mental gymabstics you people are trying to use to get around that is a wonder to behold.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 05:32 PM
1

I am as much the authority as anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 04:34 PM
1

That's correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 04:16 PM
1

The "casual sex scene" is extremely niche. The average number of lifetime sexual partners is about 7; the median number is 4. Promiscuity is an exception, not a rule. And in my own personal experience? I've met about five highly promiscuous people, and none of them were even close to being Chad or Stacy. They were just ugly-to-average people with very low standards who did a lot of drugs.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 07:44 AM
1

Well, if your "reality" is something like "Women all take turns getting their sexual needs met by the 20% of men who are most desirable," I'm pretty sure that "reality" is entirely invented.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 07:10 AM
1

Wow, I totally disagree that men prefer sleeping with their wives. There was a survey once that showed that "new partner" was the #1 male fantasy. Most men are always on the prowl for something new and have to suppress that urge to keep their life together. You can see it in the way most of us watch porn: always looking for something new, something different from before. You're still taking the stance that fucking is plain and simply better than no fucking. But for women that's just not true. Wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 01:36 AM
1

Sex for women is often very much hot based not on attractiveness but on the way she connects with her partner. Most women report that getting fucked by an attractive stranger is far worse sex than sex with an average or even below-average boyfriend. If he's led her to believe that he's going to be her boyfriend, that they're making a real connection, then sure, she might have a good evening - followed by a long period of shame, self-doubt, anger, and feelings of being stupid and naive and used. …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 01:20 AM
0

Options are not always power. You have the option to shit in a bucket and then eat that bucket of shit. That option gives you no power. That's the problem with your line of reasoning. Do women have the option to do something they don't want to do? Sure they do. Is that a privilege? Not really. We all have the option to do lots of stuff we don't want to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 01:08 AM
1

There are no hot aliens. The aliens stand for sex you don't want, just as casual sex is sex very few women want. It doesn't matter if he's handsome and smells nice. To her it's still no better than we'd find sex with a disgusting alien.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 01:05 AM
1

Right, and this is exactly where my analogy comes in. If one day a man suddenly changes his mind, wakes up and says "You know what? I think I WILL fuck a weirdly-shaped, disgusting-smelling alien," then he'll be able to do it. Would that extra opportunity mean that men's lives had become better? Or would men's lives actually be on balance worse, because they had to constantly fend off the aggressive and manipulative advances of weirdly-shaped, disgusting-smelling aliens?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 12:46 AM
1

The point of my analogy is to address that complaint: "Women can have sex whenever they want and men can't get laid!" So what if men could get laid at any moment, by undesirable creatures who were constantly trying to fuck them? Would the complaint go away? ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 12:08 AM
1

I'm not saying it's how women think about men. I'm suggesting it's analogous to how most women feel about PUAs and "players" who want to fuck them and have no real intention of talking to them after that. Think I'm wrong? I wasn't picturing these aliens as genetically compatible with humans ;) But if they were and mixed-species babies were being born, well obviously that's... well that's a totally different, and more complicated, story.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 12:03 AM
2

My experience is that the vast majority of women dislike casual sex. They don't want it, ever, with anybody, and it makes them feel cheap and dirty. If a woman is desperate and lonely enough, or drunk, or if a guy pushes hard enough or skillfully manipulates her, she might allow it to happen - though more than likely she'll hate herself for it in the morning.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/18 12:01 AM
1

Women will often have sex with men incentivized by the hope that he'll stick around. And that's not just the "top 20% most attractive" - it happens thousands of times a day. The aliens are analogies for the way I believe women feel about men who have no real intention of sticking around. Men seem to think "hey, we're all people, so you must like a quick roll in the hay as much as I do," and the truth is, they just don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 11:58 PM
1

I think the idea that women desire casual sex with the most attractive 20% of men is just some incel shit with no grounding in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 11:43 PM
1

Yeah, I rather love my wife and son, and also enjoy my line of work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 11:42 PM
2

Yes, and kind of. I cut my hours way, way back when I got married, because she made three times as much as me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 11:09 PM
5

Like I said at the end, I don't think women perceive men this way. I think they perceive "playas" this way. Men who want to roll around with them for one night and never talk to them again. I think they find it not only disappointing, but downright disgusting. By the way, I'm a SAHD and it's fucking hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 10:31 PM
0

This is a very confused response: you seem to think that if the linchpin of masculinity is the ability to be a good father, then men by definition cannot be anything else. They can't be bigots, they can't be Presbyterians, they can't be alcoholics, they can't be stamp collectors, they can't even be bipedal. This is not how categorization works.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 09:45 PM
1

I'd say that the biggest dating challenge for women is finding a man who will put his sole focus on their relationship, and isn't just eternally playing the field, looking for new thrills, and worrying about the sexual experiences left on his bucket list.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 09:40 PM
1

Oh. You're telling me that you'd be in a relationship with a disgusting, smelly alien as long as she promised not to cheat on you?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 09:27 PM
1

I don't understand what that means.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 09:26 PM
1

They are indeed mammals. They feed milk to their young. Their evolution was very similar to ours and they're roughly our size and shape. They arrived on Earth as all females for... some reason. Maybe a plague killed all the men on their planet. Maybe they were fleeing some kind of sex-based oppression. I don't know. It isn't important.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 09:21 PM
2

Yes, I do believe that the linchpin of masculinity is the ability to be a good father, and to raise mentally healthy children. Without that, you can do all the push-ups and get all the tattoos and watch all the Fast and Furious movies in the world; you're no man. Of course bigotry can take the form of trying to separate yourself from people you don't want to be around. What do you think segregation and the Civil Rights movement were?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 09:12 PM
1

Well that doesn't seem very ethical ;) Do you think you'd actually do that, or is that just a rhetorical point?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 09:07 PM
5

Oh yeah, I have little doubt that some small percentage of men will enthusiastically ride the alien c*** carousel, and that the majority of men will judge those men harshly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 08:56 PM
3

It's not just incel complaints, though - MGTOWs and PUAs and "redpills" often have the exact same complaints as incels. They are deeply unhappy that casual sex is available to women but not to men, and don't particularly give a shit that most women don't like casual sex. It's just that their reactions to the complaint are different: the incel says "this isn't fair and so I'm gonna kill myself" while the redpill says "this isn't fair and so I'm gonna game the system."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 08:50 PM
3

My personal experience is that 60% of women have no profile at all, but the ones who do almost always say they don't want hookups, and I've literally never seen a woman saying she does want hookups. I think that there's tremendous variety in a women's chosen relationship style, and not one single "natural order." Out of the following seven basic options: I want you to to be the team captain; I need control in my life and want to make most of our life decisions; I want an equal, equitable, fair p…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 08:42 PM
1

I suppose the way I would know about her sexual history is that, if we started dating, we'd chat about our sexual histories. I'm 99.9% positive that any method for determining at a glance whether a woman is sexually active would be about as scientific as phrenology.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 08:01 PM
3

I don't think women are "playing it off" or that they're trying to maintain a social "illusion of purity." I think casual sex genuinely makes them feel more like pocket pussies than like human beings. It's degrading. And they hate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 07:59 PM
5

I do look at Tinder, and at the fact that probably 90% of womens' profiles say "not looking for a hookup. I want something real." I believe that what women are having on college campuses isn't usually "casual sex" - it's more like "venture sex." They're thinking "If I have sex with him, he'll want to keep coming back for more and then he'll be my boyfriend and love me and I won't be alone." It's a very, very rare breed of woman who will say "I just want to bang a stranger, high-five, and go home…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 07:51 PM
8

I'm not suggesting that you go gay. I'm just pointing out that if you're angry that women can get a bunch of sex they don't want, perhaps you should remind yourself that you can also get a bunch of sex you don't want.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 07:31 PM
6

Except that, for women, they're not actually cookies. There are biological differences between men and women. One of the clearest (and most cliche) differences is "men hunt and women nest." Are there exceptions? Of course. But that's the rule, and it holds far more often than it doesn't. Men want to have sex with fifty different hot women. That's the fantasy. Women could have sex with fifty different hot men, but that's not their fantasy! A woman's fantasy is to lock down one super awesome guy w…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 07:23 PM
3

Posting under the automod because I am a man: It's clear to me that girls love to be appreciated but hate to be stared at for extended periods of time. It's also clear to me that the purpose for wearing revealing clothing is to be appreciated, and not necessarily to "cause guys to approach."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 07:13 PM
3

I didn't interpret OP as being miserable. I interpreted OP as prefacing their rant by saying "Okay, I think my annoyance with MGTOWs is actually annoying people, but I do have one more rant I want to make. If you think my rant is incorrect, go ahead and CMV."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 07:12 PM
4

Two answers: The difficulty level of having casual sex has nothing to do with the ethics of having casual sex. Most women actively dislike casual sex, and there's no point in being bitter that they can get something they don't want. Technically all men can get casual sex they don't want, too: just go to a gay bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 07:07 PM
4

I strongly doubt that that's where OP meant to go with it, but that would be an interesting response.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 07:02 PM
9

Of course it's an unjustified double standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 06:54 PM
5

The single view, I believe, is "MGTOWs are tremendous hypocrites."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 06:54 PM
9

Bigots don't worry about hypocrisy. To them, "I am better than group X" isn't something they have to prove or demonstrate. It's just natural law. What amuses me is how many lies are in the five-letter word MGTOW. They're not "going their own way" - they have an acronym and their own little language and a bunch of clubs, for Chrissake - and in no way would anyone consider them men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 06:34 PM
1

It's just that, on those rare magical times that it works, it's nearly impossible to know who made the first move. There's kind of an electricity and then we're kissing. No one's like "Would you go out with me?"
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/18 01:07 AM
1

Tough question. I guess I've "asked out" maybe ten women. Most or all of whom said no thanks. And I've been "asked out" by three that I can remember. And I've slept with thirty women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/18 12:41 AM
1

Well, let me give my unpopular opinion. Sexual violence, like physical violence, is not a single value of "bad." Being slapped in the face is very different from having your arms torn off. With physical violence, we acknowledge that. With sexual violence, we act like all sexual violence is unspeakably devastating. And it isn't, necessarily. I've met women who say they were raped, they're entirely over it, and it doesn't define them. One woman shrugged and said "Rape is just sex you don't want, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 11:47 PM
4

Actually, she made a big show of paying for half the meal... and her credit card was declined. And I strongly suspect she knew it would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 02:03 PM
1

Yes. Well, the candy-thrower I met on a party line. Showing my age here ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 05:14 AM
–

No, not all of them, but that's quite exactly what Kaling is talking about here: shaming men who misbehave. And I'm pretty sure she's not just talking about actual assault, but more general misbehavior like the Aziz Ansari case.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 01:31 AM
–

Yeah, I'm sure they're incredibly ashamed and humiliated that an anonymous guy on Reddit is describing the bad dates without saying who they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/18 11:16 PM
1

It sort of sounds like you're just saying you sympathize with ugly people. And so do I! But while ugliness is an unfortunate condition, it doesn't require a social ideology to accompany it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/18 10:34 PM
1

Huh, to me your 5s are what I'd call 7, your 6s are what I'd call 9, and your 7s are all 10s. Truth be told, everybody's got their own scale. I personally tend to find women attractive in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/18 10:23 PM
–

Yeah, this is some bullshit here. I've had some terrible first dates. One woman ordered a hundred dollars in a la carte sushi she didn't eat and stuck me with the bill. One woman hurled candy at the movie screen. One woman was some kind of insane global warming evangelist who would not shut up about it and scolded me for trying to change the subject. One woman told me I was disgusting for having three partners in the same year and then asked me to take her shopping for her sister's birthday pres…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/18 09:29 PM
6

Truth be told, I'd have sex with the majority of fat/ugly/older women for free, so $300/hour would be a pretty damn nice perk. I wouldn't have sex with men at any price.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/18 09:02 PM
1

There aren't a lot of parameters on this question. Would I have sex with some random older woman every week or three, whenever I wanted an extra five hundred bucks? Absolutely. Would I go to work at a brothel every day letting other men fuck me in the ass? Not for all the tea in China.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/18 08:53 PM
8

I'm married, and polyamorous, and I have a long-term girlfriend and an out-of-town girlfriend, and I still enjoy the occasional prostitute. Sometimes you just want to fuck a 20 year old. Nothing wrong with that. I would say that my opinion of men who use prostitutes is rather high and my opinion of both church ladies and adult-child Millennials is rather low.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/18 03:48 PM
1

Everybody dates their parents, no matter how much their parents suck.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/18 12:11 AM
6

The biggest problem the two groups have in common is that they have these theories about what women "really" want... theories that the majority of women look at and think "WTF?!" Perhaps some large repository of essays by women about what they seek and what they avoid, combined with some data drawn from the essays, would be a useful resource. Certainly more useful than these tiny little university studies they're always citing and then extrapolating insanely large generalizations from.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/18 02:45 AM
1

Do you really want to raise a kid by yourself? Because, speaking as someone who not ten minutes ago got stopped in the balls by a three year old, I'm pretty glad my wife has him out in the backyard.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/18 12:49 AM
1

But who are you to say whether a woman, or indeed anyone, is given a "sense of validation" from a ONS? Some people - most of whom are women - don't feel validated by a ONS at all. They feel cheap, and used, and nothing else. And if that's the case, it would be the same as with the prostitute: you may not technically be incel, but your inceldom is not cured.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/18 01:48 AM
3

It depends on what it means to be incel. One could argue that it's impossible for a man to be incel, because any man can scrape up three hundred bucks and find a prostitute. The incel subs are so irritated by this argument that they no longer engage with it - they just ban people who make it. They say "You miss the point: we want more than reluctant, transactional sex. We want affirmation and love." Fair enough. But then they argue that women can't be incel, because if they type "I'm DTF" on Tin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/18 01:32 AM
1

Is the meaning of the word "blue" shifting? It didn't used to mean "radical male feminist"; it used to mean "normie." You know, like if the redpill says "be masculine and assertive, it's on her to say no"; And the male feminist says "always say 'may I kiss you now' and receive verbal consent every step along the way"; Then it's the "bluepill" that says "read her body language and make your move if she seems receptive." That kind of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/18 12:22 AM
7

Of course it's comparable. No two things are identical, so by your reasoning no two things are comparable and comparisons shouldn't exist. And yet they do, because non-identical things have qualities in common. What these two have in common is causing cruel and unnecessary pain to another person.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 07:21 PM
5

I literally just told you why it's comparable: both are examples of cruelly causing unnecessary pain to another.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 07:18 PM
5

In general, causing a person cruel and unnecessary pain makes one a bad person. For example, if I walked up behind you and stabbed you in the butt with a sewing needle, that's a pretty clear sign that I'm a bad person.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 07:12 PM
1

I would say that a good rule of thumb is that if you go out with someone more than once, and have sex with them, you owe them the courtesy of telling them it's over. You don't have to tell them why it's over, but leaving people in a weeks-long limbo as their feelings turned from confusion to hopefulness to concern to despair... that just fucking sucks and officially makes you a bad person.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 07:09 PM
11

I would venture a guess that since you don't have any kids, you went out and found one.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 05:38 PM
2

I guess the first thing we have to do is check the premises here. Do women act like victims when they fuck a guy and then he's done with them? I'm sure some women feel deceived, like "I was led to believe that he wanted a LTR and thus he deceived me into a ONS." But faced with the question "Is he morally obligated to pursue a LTR with you?" most of them admit: "No, I'm just hurt and this sucks."
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 01:17 AM
0

The way I see it, the American "normal" is still basically the philosophies of Barack Obama and his supporters. It's sometimes called "the blue pill" but it's not really a "pill." It's the default state. It's where you land most of the time if you just don't give thought to the issue. Various groups reject that "normal" in different areas: social norms, gender relations, race relations, legal policy, etc. Those groups aren't inherently "one big group" but there's overlap between them and they're…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/18 05:27 PM
1

No, It's not sex. A monogamous relationship is a life partnership. Any problem one partner has becomes the other's and vice versa. They face life together as a team, enjoy the good things as a team, address the challenges as a team. Platonic friendships pretty much never reach this level of partnership.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/18 04:44 PM
5

Yeah, of course. The range I'm comfortable with is 30-45.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/18 07:04 PM
1

This has changed somewhat as I've grown older. When I was 24, the answer was something like: She has to be attactive and sexual. She has to be interesting. At 40 it's closer to: She has to be at least as smart as me She has to assume good faith of me She has to be comfortable with us both being pretty mutually independent.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/18 05:53 PM
3

I'm not sure what it means to "be in the top 20% of men." The average number of lifetime sexual partners is around 7. I'm 5'7" and I've had around 30. Three or four of them were taller than me. I doubt it's possible to draw any conclusions from that, but then again, I doubt there's an objective or quantifiable definition of "top 20% of men."
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/18 08:36 AM
2

Yeah, when feminism started, every woman involved risked being called an unfeminine dyke and being shunned by all men. But they did it anyway, because they felt the cause was bigger than them. Men don't seem to think the Men's Rights cause is bigger than them. They think: will this increase my access to pussy? No? Oh, shit, well then fuck that!! It's pretty pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/18 07:36 AM
3

Yeah, I don't think that idea is likely to bear any fruit. It's hard to imagine an app like that catching fire, to put it mildly. You're absolutely right: men are currently seen as oppressors, whereas a lot of us are being burnt in horrible ways by society and are objectively victims. Women talk constantly about how they're victims of male sexual aggression, and men rarely talk about how they're victims of, say, seeing their best friend shot to death, or being attacked in a bar, or working every…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/18 06:08 AM
0

From what I can gather, "Chad" is simply a guy whose appearance would be rated around 9/10 by an aggregate of female voters. Nothing else matters. He could be a surgeon or a drug dealer, a prince or a brony. He's Chad because he's so, so very handsome.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/18 01:23 AM
1

I don't believe I've debated him personally, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 09:59 PM
1

I'm on a phone right now and I'm bad with the app :/ That's just been my general experience over there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 09:21 PM
1

Wow, I think you make this incredibly complicated. Virtually every woman wants a man who: Shares her fundamental values; Has her best interests at heart; Is acting in a genuine manner and not trying to manipulate her. That means that most women would prefer a man who isn't hostile to feminism, but also doesn't particularly feel the need to dance around with a pink "This Is What a Feminist Looks Like" T-shirt. And most women would prefer a man who stands up to anyone smearing her and her entire s…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 09:19 PM
1

I've debated on there a little, but it's a pretty hefty homework assignment. What they do is they give you six links to dense scientific papers that draw some tiny conclusion like "In this pilot study of 32 German women, a slight rise in oxytocin was associated with viewing images of men with squarer jaws." And then they leave it to you to explain why, um, obviously each of these studies do nothing resembling establishing that only square-jawed men will ever find love; and taken together they st…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 09:14 PM
1

Somehow I missed this post last night. I feel like you've moved the goalposts on this CMV very abruptly. You started with "They are nasty terms, pure and simple. There is no justification to use them." One post later you've jumped over to "Let's focus on those actual attitudes that the terms point to, not the terms themselves." Well, that shift puts us pretty much on the same page. In 1997, Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy wrote "The Ethical Slut." It's a book with an important place in third-wave …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 08:50 PM
1

"Black pill" is not merely depression and a focus on the self. It's a worldview unto itself. I discussed the meaning of "black pill" pretty extensively on /r/braincels, and it quickly became apparent that no two incels agreed on its specific definition. However, here are some blackpill beliefs, roughly in the order of most universal to most controversial: Only Looks Matter. Women claim otherwise, but fundamentally they are shallow, and they will only date handsome men. Women are much more choosy…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 05:13 PM
3

I have yet to see evidence that getting deeply bitter about the state of society and largely retreating from it has actually made anyone better off.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 04:38 PM
3

Well, does anyone remember the MRAs? Eight years ago they were the heart of the manosphere and now it's as though they've been erased from existence. My theory is that men's groups don't sustain themselves because they don't advocate for anything. They advocate against *everything* - fourth-wave feminism, all feminism, women in general, Democrats, betas, "pussification," paying for meals, working dangerous jobs - but at the end of the day they don't have any specific priorities or any plan to ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 04:24 PM
14

I'll take the one who's sexually experienced. I'm way too old for virgins at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 07:45 AM
1

Yeah, it's weird to say that the left is in power, considering every branch of government is Republican, but in reality, I think that from 1980 through 1992, "normal" meant Reagan, and from 2008 through present "normal" means Obama. I'm not sure about 1992-2008. I don't think either Bill Clinton or George W. managed to establish themselves as a symbol of American normalcy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 05:11 AM
1

Well, this is a thoroughly fourth-wave post, isn't it. Third-wave feminism worked hard to reclaim those slurs and subvert their meaning. Their message was "Hey, it's just as okay for a girl to be a slut as for a guy to be a slut." Whereas fourth-wave feminism is this defensive, circle-the-wagons, behavior policing brand of feminism. "Don't you dare use that word!! There can never, ever be a justification to use that word!!" I don't like people telling me what words I can and cannot use, whether …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 04:57 AM
1

I'm not so sure I see it as a gender issue or even a particular "sign of the times." There have always been some people who kind of fail to become adults and whose parents eventually throw them out. This is just the first time I've heard of a man who won't obey the order to get out, decides to fight it, and has to be taken to court.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 01:56 AM
1

No, you don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 12:33 AM
1

Further to that, since I spent a fairly long time researching and writing it, can you point me to a sub where discussion of the effects of feminism on media *would* be deemed appropriate?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 12:27 AM
1

It's a post inviting discussion about a real, direct result of fourth-wave feminism on a large media franchise. Where's the inappropriateness?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/18 12:20 AM
1

I see. Yeah, I don't watch YouTube except for Reaper tutorial vids; I've noticed a strong correlation between time spent watching YouTube videos and total disconnection from any sense of reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/18 11:41 PM
3

I have no idea what you're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/18 11:16 PM
1

Oh? At what point does it become a valid "trend"? When 5% of the world neatly fits the model?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/18 11:05 PM
3

No, they won't necessarily nod their heads. Many young women will say "I've never been a party girl" and many older women will say "stability is the last thing I need from a man."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/18 11:01 PM
6

Yeah, if you phrase anything differently you get different results, like when some people were asked "Do you support the Affordable Care Act" and some were asked "Do you support ObamaCare" and the numbers were completely different :P
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/18 10:54 PM
1

I would be inclined to agree if "Alpha Phux Beta Bux" were an observation by some 19th century female psychiatrist being proposed to explain the behavior of her friends and colleagues. But it isn't. It's a concept invented by lonely 20 year old male virgins. And it doesn't describe female behavior accurately, and the vast majority of females take one look at the theory and say "What the fuck is this shit? No one I know feels or behaves anything like that."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/18 10:35 PM
1

I know, I know. When a sign says "Do not feed the bears," man, you better not feed the bears. https://everythingsimpsons.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/roundspringfield1.png
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/18 06:54 PM
4

No... I'm quite sure I'd want her for love, too. Actually, the more I think about it, I definitely don't have a Madonna/Whore complex, because I don't have much of a concept of "Whore" at all. I'm the kind of guy who walks out of a strip club with feelings for the stripper.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/18 05:51 PM
1

...no, I don't think that's my deal. I don't have any problem choking and slapping the mother of my children. To be honest, there's definitely a pull to new partners, and that could be interpreted as Madonna/whore, since my wife isn't the sole sexual center of my universe... but I think it's just the thrill of the new.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/18 05:34 PM
1

SMV is basically the same thing as Jesus: if you ignore it and ignore the idiots who believe in it, you'll do just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/18 05:19 PM
4

Trump wasn't bad looking in the 80s. He's just old, bald, and fat now. I've never heard anyone say that "down to Earth" is a characteristic of Alphas.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/18 06:46 PM
9

They really only seem that way when you're on the Right, oppose all three, and generalize them together in your head. For example, you might think that feminists are generally advocating for trans women to compete in womens' Olympic events, but in fact some feminists are adamantly against that idea, saying it will effectively turn the Olympics into an all-male affair.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/18 06:34 PM
1

Well, to go ahead and open this particular can of worms, isn't Donald Trump considered the ultimate Alpha? A guy who goes after what he wants, always wants the most, and gives no regard to what other people might think of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/18 06:05 PM
4

From the conservative point of view, feminism, gay rights, and trans acceptance are all part of the same thing. Anyone who spends time in liberal circles sees how much unease there is between those groups, with a fair number of feminists and gay activists angrily accusing transgender individuals of hijacking and co-opting their rights struggle.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/18 05:06 PM
1

One constant throughout history is that any time there's an intellectual movement, there's going to be a counter-intellectual movement.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/18 04:15 PM
1

Well, which one is worse probably depends on which one you're better at defending yourself from. I've always had good enough instincts that if a girl tried to turn people against me, I could turn the tables on her, to where she'd be the one facing criticism and only isolating herself. I unfortunately turned out to have no defenses in place against being thrown in a dumpster or shoved in a locker.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/18 03:34 PM
4

I feel like your last paragraph just took a 180 degree turn from your thesis. Before, you seemed to be taking the position that "masculine" and "male" are perfect synonyms - redundant words, even. But then in the last paragraph you announce that the definition of masculinity is culturally constructed, which has been my point all along. "Male" means balls; "masculine" means what a culture expects the proud owner of a pair of balls to be like. It is certainly incorrect that my responses to my impu…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 08:03 AM
2

I wouldn't say I'm upset, but I do have a hard time grasping what exactly people mean when they make claims like "masculinity is under attack" or "it's better for men to be masculine." It makes little sense that it's better for men to try to adhere to what is ultimately a fleeting social construct rather than simply being true to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 07:58 AM
2

Well, let's look at what you're saying here. You're saying that my balls make me aggressive, and therefore aggression is masculine. But in any given situation, I can choose to display aggression or to exercise restraint. If I'm insulted, I can throw a punch, throw a reciprocal insult, walk away, or remain polite. So if my aggression isn't purely biologically determined, how can we say that my masculinity is biologically determined?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 07:45 AM
1

Well, lifting rocks isn't particularly masculine today, is it? It's sort of more of a "Why the hell are you trying to lift that rock instead of getting the backhoe" kind of situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 07:41 AM
2

Well then I'm gonna switch it up and get right back to serious! Masculinity is defined as the way a man is supposed to present himself to the world; the attitudes he's supposed to have; the things he's supposed to do. It's not "balls." That's just a body part. Masculinity is what you're supposed to be like if you have balls.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 07:14 AM
4

Well that's the direction you decided to go in, right? Where we decide to just call each other retarded? I mean, I'm down: I've got the thesaurus all fired up and set to "retard."
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 07:03 AM
5

That of course leads immediately to the question: the present where? Conceptions of masculinity aren't necessarily even consistent from one U.S. state to another, let alone worldwide.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 06:58 AM
1

And that is the single most retarded sentence I have ever read.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 06:57 AM
1

Physiological traits aren't masculine; they're male.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 06:52 AM
1

Mmmmmmhm. And what do you think the permanent, non-superficial indicators of masculinity are?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 06:48 AM
5

Well, I definitely had it radically differently from you. I had three close friends in middle school/high school and we played a lot of video games, card games, board games, role-playing games - we liked games. I was pretty heavy into debate; my friends had other things going on. Basically our mini-clique was unpopular but inoffensive. We were ignored. I dated a very pretty girl on the debate team for a year or so, and my friends each had a girlfriend of their own for a year or so. None of us ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 01:29 AM
3

Yeah, I asked because the observation that men hold most of the powerful positions doesn't fit that definition at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 11:55 PM
3

Care to define what you think "conspiracy theory" means?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 11:49 PM
3

Academic feminists don't speak of "the patriarchy." They speak of Patriarchy, which is just a word for any society where most of the money, leadership, power, and spiritual/moral authority is in the hands of men. Casual feminists may speak of "the patriarchy" in terms of the men who hold those things - men like Paul Ryan or Pope Francis or Elon Musk - but those kinds of men are easily identifiable and not part of some shadow society.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 11:37 PM
1

Then how does that contradict in any way with anything I said? I said "non-monogamous," not "permanently non-monogamous." I feel like you're searching super hard for something to find a quarrel with.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 11:22 PM
1

Can't people have both monogamy and a whole bunch of sexual partners in a short period of time? Is that the question? I think most people would agree that monogamous individuals are not sluts.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 11:17 PM
1

I think I'm a little out of the mainstream on this one, but to me a "slut" is a woman who feels some kind of compulsion to be promiscuous and ends up having a bunch of sex she doesn't even want. I think that if you're picking your partners carefully and setting appropriate boundaries, you're not a slut - just non-monogamous. If you're waking up next to a naked guy and you don't know his name, you miiight be a slut.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 10:54 PM
2

Perhaps there is, in fact, no verifiable and objective measure of the word "casual." Certainly you must be aware that our mental state is more complex than the contents of our blood. You cannot do a blood draw and say "this person is acting in a casual fashion and this one is not."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 04:37 PM
2

Magic: The Gathering obviously releases pair-bonding hormones since it leads to friendships. Look, at this point your argument is "Non-casual sex is defined as sex which releases pair-bonding hormones associated with reproductive strategy." Which means you're just begging the question. You are literally defining your argument as correct, even though nobody else in the world uses that definition of "casual." It's though I said "Thesis: all dogs are brown. Definition of brown: the color of a dog's…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 04:29 PM
2

And certainly there is a strong consistency between PVI and jogging because they both cause profound physiological, psychological, and hormonal changes. Then after your arrogant, knee-jerk claim of false equivalencies, you tried to apparently frame the issue as "the word casual is defined by 'doesn't lead to pair bonding.'" Which would also mean there's no such thing as casual Magic: The Gathering - but since I see what type of debater you are, I'm sure you'll respond by burping out some Greek p…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 04:22 PM
2

So in your view, anything that causes pair bonding is "non-casual" and anything that doesn't is "casual"? Is there a such thing as casual trust falls at a corporate retreat? Here's something you should consider: there are no two things in the entire world that are perfectly equivalent, so any comparison or metaphor whatsover can be met with a whiny, pretentious, non-communicative complaint of "false equivalency."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 04:12 PM
2

Sounds like you're reading a hell of a lot into a tiny study. Out of a few dozen people, those having PVI with, presumably, a partner, were shown to be associated with lower blood pressure and a slightly elevated presence of a few hormones. As far as I can tell, there was no particular research on, say, men using prostitutes or hookup apps, so we can't even tell if the PVI-hormone link is causal or just correlated with being in a relationship. We're totally blind on that score. And yes, jogging …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 04:05 PM
2

Yeah, definitely. I could easily write about the benefits and endorphins involved in exercise, but I wouldn't argue "There's no such thing as a casual jog; running is amazingly important." All kinds of amazing biology happens when you take a shit, but there is, in my opinion, such a thing as a casual shit. The only way to credibly argue that sex can't be casual is to argue that all life is magestic and even the simple act of eating a sandwich is borderline magical.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 03:50 PM
3

Gotta disagree with you there. There's often very little benefit to not just staying in your lane.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 03:34 PM
5

You're pussy whipped if the relationship isn't mutually respectful. If a guy and a girl go out of their way to make each other happy, great. If the girl is full of expectations and the guy scrambles to meet them, without reciprocation, then he is henpecked or pussy-whipped or whatever you want to call it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 03:33 PM
2

Not to mention that OP is unintentionally making an argument that there is no such thing as casual masturbation.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 03:30 PM
1

Context matters! If I'm a doctor and I say "how many sexual partners have you had," of course prostitutes count. Everything counts. If we're trying to gauge something like "How good is this guy at attracting women," we might even decide that only pretty young women without drug or mental health problems count. It's not a condundrum I've had to face because, in my entire life, no one has asked me how many sexual partners I've had and I've never asked anyone that question.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 03:27 PM
4

"Respect" is a word with two completely different definitions, so it causes a lot of confusion. It can mean both "tolerate" and "admire."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 03:17 PM
0

You think that someone who uses the phrase "pretty much everyone" shouldn't use the word "hypothetical"?! That's one of the stranger things I've heard in a while. It's still not clear in what way my hypothetical scenario was "loaded," or how a hypothetical scenario can even be "loaded."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 12:12 AM
1

"Male behavior" is a different concept from "masculinity." Hypotheticals are useful for clarifying the meaning of abstract concepts, and in this case pretty much everyone seemed to agree that violence is the most masculine response.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/18 10:33 PM
1

The post has absolutely nothing to do with whether men are inherently violent. It's about the definition of "masculinity," not the behavior of males.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/18 10:28 PM
1

By and large, people seemed to agree that violence is the most masculine option. So, mostly what I saw was consensus.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/18 10:03 PM
1

Any abstract concept without a definition is just something that doesn't exist at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/18 04:46 PM
0

You can definitely get to other qualities without being physically attractive first. That's how it works when you date someone from your social group instead of approaching a stranger and saying something that boils down to "Hello, would you be interested in sex and love with me?"
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/18 12:52 PM
1

In the month I've been on Reddit, I've seen: 200 or so posts saying "Everyone says looks don't matter and that's bullshit!!" 0 posts claiming looks don't matter. There is a disconnect. I think it's because I say things like "looks are only one of many factors involved in the selection of a significant other," and people stare at that sentence until thr words break apart and all the letters start to float around and reform into "looks don't matter."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/18 09:52 PM
1

It's silly to pretend looks don't matter at all. But I also suspect that your goal in life isn't to marry the prettiest man who will have you, irrespective of all other factors.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/18 09:28 PM
1

Yeah, if you walk up to a stranger and ask her on a date, or throw up a profile picture and ask her to swipe, obviously looks mean a lot more. Of course, that's a new, weird, artificial way to date; historically, people usually had a relatively strong sense of each other before any romance blossomed.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/18 07:10 PM
2

It's one of many factors, and sometimes it's one of the most minor factors. In my experience, women care far more about whether a man has talent and ambition; whether he's successful and happy; whether he's intelligent and stable; whether he's mature and seems to have things figured out; whether he's kind and shares her values; than whether he has hard pectorals and a nice square jaw.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/18 06:57 PM
1

I think it really depends on what kind of "common person" he was. If he was a pizza delivery boy who spent most of his spare time watching YouTube videos, I'm guessing she'd take a pass. If he was a talented musician devoting a significant chunk of his time and energy to charity... who can say. I mean, women don't look at a man and say "Why, he's my approximate looksmatch! I do believe I shall bear his children."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/18 06:47 PM
1

Well, if you're right, I guess one could frame the OP's question as "What would the world be like if every man was obsessed, nearly to the exclusion of all else, with his own self-improvement?" And I guess my answer is that the economy would be strong and a lot of people would be lonely and wondering what's the fucking point.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/18 06:41 PM
3

The way I see it, TRP is not a set of principles being advocated for. If you ask them what a culture should look like, they say something like "well I can tell you for damn sure what a culture shouldn't look like, and it's this!" They aren't really advocating for any legal change or even any particular cultural change. They only advocate against the status quo. So I feel like you're asking an unanswerable question. TRPs can agree on what's wrong, but not what would be right, so there's no answer…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/18 02:34 AM
5

Incels can afford prostitutes. In most parts of the world you can get a quickie for fifty bucks and everyone can find fifty bucks. Incels want more than a wet dick. They want affection and validation and to feel like they're as much a man as their peers are.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/18 12:46 AM
6

So she's still interested despite your differences, and if you were just going to casually date her and see if it could work, I'd say go for it. But marriage? Decades of being with someone who doesn't share your fundamental values? Sounds terrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/18 02:14 PM
5

Well, then neither, probably. It's hard to imagine a "heavily conservative" husband and a feminist wife having a happy life together.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/18 02:00 PM
2

Or go to a strip club!!! or both No I'm pretty sure I know where I am and I'M? pretty sure there are no strip clubs onnthe immediate vicinity. All of us are hydrocarbon chains and cannibals
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/18 05:28 AM
1

I was playing, um, Lil' Red. Just betting $5 a spin and mashing the button trying to match up the Big Bad Wolfs. And they matched so nicely I was like "fuck, I should eat a cheeseburger, man cannot live on Cuba Libres." And then Fidel Castro said "Ah, but man can live on Cuba Libres" and I was like "Holy shit!!" and now my hair is full of catsup
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/18 05:21 AM
2

Man, I don't know. I just won $700 and got a shitload of ketchup in my hair and now I'm charging my phone on an exposed outlet next to a meth den I guess I could give a girl $20 in meth in exchange for sex but there's absolutely no way I can maintain an erection right now Plus my hair is full of fucking ketchup. Goddamn cheeseburger
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/18 04:40 AM
2

Yeah, my wife and I have a girlfriend together and my wife has an out-of-state boyfriend. I'll talk about it here, and close friends and family know, of course, but it's not like any of us talk about it at work. We don't feel the need for any ceremonies or to make a stink about plus-twos at weddings or anything. We just spend time together because it makes us happy. In some ways poly is the opposite of vegan or CrossFit; not every single person in the room needs to know ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 09:32 PM
2

I also think that age has a lot to do with this! Poly people in their early twenties tend to be super-radical "change-the-world-with-our-enlightened-take" people. Everyone else just does whatever their culture said to do, which is be exclusive. By their thirties, a lot of people have been through a bad relationship or three and they're starting to think, wow, it's not radical to open up a marriage, it's just a commonsense solution to problems I've been having. I think the older you get, the more…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 07:48 PM
3

I'd have no real way of knowing that. All I can say for sure is that when I mention that I'm polyamorous, maybe 10-15% of the people I'm talking to mention that they're at least theoretically receptive to that kind of relationship. And I definitely know there are hundreds of poly people in my not-that-large city, because of meetups and stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 07:22 PM
2

Yeah, my wife has a boyfriend of 20 years and she wasn't inclined to give him up!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 06:30 PM
3

Not as much of an outlier as some people think, though. Polyamory and open marriage is extremely common; people just keep quiet about it because of prejudice.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 05:59 PM
3

Hmmm, well, speaking for myself, I'm married with a child, and my wife lost her sex drive after the birth, so now I just have sex with other women, and it's fine. The marriage has economic and family purposes. Not sexual ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 05:52 PM
5

It is very unpleasant to date someone who doesn't think highly of themself - someone who chickens out of social situations; who fishes for compliments and takes innocent remarks too personally; who swings between being a doormat and putting too much pressure on because they can't find a nice happy medium. That's true for both men and women. The reason it's more obvious in men is that men are socially expected to make the initial approach - to express interest and ask a woman out. And a man with …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 02:23 PM
5

I guess my thought is that "cheating" is really not universal, but very specific to any specific relationship. First you've got the people who are non-jealous, open, poly, though I understand that's not really what you're asking about. But then there's the situation where a marriage or relationship is over in all but name. And where people get lonely, and they seek comfort elsewhere. If a man is not in love with his partner and meets someone and falls in love with her, well, about the worst that…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 02:02 PM
1

I think we all have massive selection biases in our lives. I'm aware that many men don't like career women, but I don't know those men, because I don't have enough in common with them to sustain a ten minute conversation with them. The biggest selection bias I've noticed in my personal life is that I'm an American with a healthy social group and I have one (1) Christian friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/18 08:25 PM
2

Um, yeah, every social problem is a fact until it isn't. Men don't have to be persistent victims of violence. We just don't really do much to change it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 05:33 PM
2

It would make sense for men to organize and protest the fact that we're the victims of the vast majority of physical violence in society. But we refuse to do that. Instead, we just try to use that fact as a snarky comeback to any feminist advocacy. Which is, of course, missing the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:35 PM
1

Again, my concern is for the actual 14 year old. And forcing her to stay and starve in a war zone because we don't like some aspects of her culture is very much directly against her interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:32 PM
1

The philosophy of "what it really is" is sort of up to us, and the idea that female sexuality is a commodity and not just something for a woman to enjoy is an ugly idea to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:30 PM
1

It's a recurrent cultural idea throughout history that sexual access to a woman has value, so when a man has sex with a woman, he's gaining value while she's losing value. He becomes more while she becomes less. So she needs to jealousy guard her sexuality and dole it out in small doses to men who can embiggen her in other ways to compensate for what they're taking from her. Third-wave feminism rejected this idea. It insisted that a woman can fuck just because she loves to fuck, and no one gets …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:02 PM
1

It's definitely clear that fourth-wave feminism is much more adversarial than third-wave. It's much less clear that a working-class black man calling out "looking good" to an upper-middle class white woman walking down the street is a strong example of patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 02:58 PM
2

No, I'm one of those "virtually all behaviors are some combination of nature and nurture" people.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 07:11 AM
5

Because you've never been on your own. None of us have. If you drop an infant on a deserted island at birth and assign a robot to feed and shelter her, don't expect her to develop any sociopolitical theories by age 25, because she'll just be a snarling, feral animal incapable of even learning language.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 07:05 AM
3

No, you don't have to buy in hook, line, and sinker, and yet here you are, an apparently Gen-Exer feminist, advocating for third-wave feminist ideas. It seems to me that they made their imprint on you. That you prefer the concept of empowerment to the concept of shared victimhood. We all internalize cultural messages to varying degrees, and we do it very strongly during our formative worldview years, approximately 16-22. Fourth-wave feminism isn't doing much to change women like you, as your cla…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 06:54 AM
1

I fundamentally disagree with you. I think a strong theory of rights requires not only "freedom tos", but also "freedom froms." Take the most fundamental right: the right to live. A government can't grant that right by simply saying "No one in the employ of the government will kill you." They have to also make murder illegal. If the government's stance is that government employees will not kill Raelians, but it's perfectly legal for a state to decriminalize shooting Raelians in the head, then Ra…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 06:45 AM
2

The way I see it, under-the-radar or subconscious workplace discrimination could be considered merely an equity issue. But being able to openly hang out a shingle saying "Group X need not apply"? That's very clearly a rights issue. Underrepresentation of blacks in finance and tech is an equity issue; Nevada's refusal to let Sammy Davis Jr. play in a casino was a civil rights issue. As for the wills thing, search Reed v. Reed, 404 U.S. 71. There was an Idaho state law giving men preference as exe…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 05:34 AM
1

There's a developing consensus within the medical community that taking a child away from his or her family is incredibly traumatic. Even if the family was abusive, even if the family literally beat or molested the child, forcible separation often does more psychological harm than the admittedly terrible status quo. And that really does put our child services organizations in a terrible bind. If a child has parents who are abusive, or drug addicts, or God forbid touching them, we want to get the…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 05:21 AM
3

I'm no fan of arranged marriages, either, but the issue isn't whether European countries should permit underage arranged marriages; they don't. The issue is whether brides under the age of 18 should be forcibly separated from their husbands and placed in foster care. And as the article mentioned, that practice has proven so traumatic to these girls that several have committed suicide. If you want to talk about "objectively wrong," I think forcing people into misery to the point they take their o…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 05:12 AM
2

In the United States? It was legal to openly pay men and women different wages for the exact same job until 1963. It was legal to say "we only hire men" until 1969, even if women met the physical requirements for the job. And it was legal to say "we don't hire women with young children" until 1971. It was legal for states to give men automatic preference as the executors of wills until 1971. It was legal for states to exclude women from juries until 1975. It was legal to exclude women from milit…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 05:08 AM
3

You said that wrong. Regardless, my concern is for the welfare of the girls, not for making sure I jealously protect my personal definition of "child abuse."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 04:32 AM
5

And feminist messages aren't going to be received the same way by all women, sure. But when you receive a somewhat aggressive compliment, the message of third-wave feminism was closer to "your body, your decision, your power." And the message of fourth-wave feminism is closer to "something bad is happening here and you need to shut that down for the sake of all the other victimized women." You may not be buying in, but I guarantee you that sixteen-year-old girls all over the world are very much …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 04:06 AM
2

The reality is that American feminists care about Islam about as much as they care about hyperinflation in Zimbabwe. Meaning, sure, there's plenty to talk about, but it's not the subject they happen to be interested in focusing on - that subject being how men and women relate to one another in their own culture. The situation may be different in Europe, but a lot of fourth-wave feminism is coming out of America. No matter what conversation you're having, some idiot is going to wander in and say …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 04:02 AM
2

I appreciate your response!! I'm not an academic, just a biologist's assistant with a high school diploma, but it's gratifying to hear that my own observations are generally in line with your research.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:57 AM
1

First-wave feminism was very clearly not about all the rights. It was about the right to vote, the right to work, and the right to own property. We really don't get to "all the rights" until the second wave. You cast a social movement as "look at me, look at me, I can use Twitter." Well, fine, but that's not how history will record it and it will have long-term ramifications. It is changing the way people think about inter-gender relations and that is no small thing that can be hand-waved away.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:54 AM
1

I would agree that claiming rape to a college administrator or disciplinary officer counts as an accusation, yes. Again, that's asking for formal action to be taken. Whereas musing out loud is not an accusation. When Hunter S. Thompson wrote "I felt raped. The pig had done me on all fours," he was not accusing a member of the LVMPD of rape. He was communicating his feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:50 AM
1

Well, it's not something I've given a lot of thought to. The article does a good job of fairly framing the issue: our cultural sensibilities say any marriage to a 14 year old is harmful to her, but at the same time saying "Welcome to Europe, now you're not married anymore and we're putting you in foster care" is deeply traumatizing to a girl who's just fled from a war zone. I guess I would like access to actual research before picking a stance on this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:46 AM
2

Well, sure: quite frankly, almost no social movement is ever started with malicious intentions. But I am concerned about the long-term implications of teaching women they're inherently powerless victims and that men are inherently driven to victimize. I know that's an unsubtle way to characterize #metoo and fourth-wave feminism in general, but the public at large doesn't internalize subtleties. They internalize crude, broad messages.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:41 AM
4

You're just on the wrong fucking sub, man. I'm sure there's a sub somewhere for slandering Muslims.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:38 AM
1

I would argue that the second and third wave of feminism devoted a grest deal of attention to getting women into the upper eschelons of power and helping them navigate them and gain influence. If that were what fourth-wave feminism were about... well, it wouldn't be a new wave. It would still be third-wave. What really sets fourth-wave feminism apart is the strong "we're fed up with men's bullshit" undercurrent rippling through social and traditional media. And it's certainly not limited to sexu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:37 AM
1

I didn't say anything remotely like that; did you even read my post? What I said is that in the past, women had social permission to be flattered by an advance or even to respond to it. Now, fourth-wave feminism is revoking that permission and basically telling women that something bad is happening and they must respond accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:21 AM
0

My point is that accusing someone of sexual assault in a formal context is very different from musing to a journalist that your consensual encounter felt like being sexually assaulted. "False accusation" carries connotations of lying to police, perjuring oneself, to get an innocent person locked away. This is miles from that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:19 AM
0

I read the interview and I think it falls far short of accusing him of sexual assault. She's essentially saying she felt sexually assaulted, not that the encounter met any legal standard of assault or that police or courts should get involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:11 AM
1

The first wave of feminism was very clearly about the right to vote, and to a lesser extent abolition and then temperance. Casting it as a gun rights movement is ridiculous revisionist history. I agree with you on the second and third waves; what you said expands on what I said and does not contradict it. It's not a good idea to hand-wave away fourth wave feminism with a single pejorative; it's having real and profound effects on the way women interact with men, not only on social media but also…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 03:00 AM
2

To me it's very clear that #metoo and #yesallwomen carry a very clear and explicit message: all women are in the same boat with respect to victimization. Women are heavily socially pressured to say: yes, men have hurt me too because I am a woman. This seems to be the message that's directly at the heart of modern fourth-wave feminism. Not "let's help the minority of us that are victims" - which was a third-wave POV - but rather "they are us and we are them. Men hurt women."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 02:56 AM
1

I believe it's incorrect to say that Aziz Ansari was falsely accused of sexual assault. A former sexual partner claimed he was an ungenerous lover and kind of a creep. She never claimed he assaulted her. It's still problematic that she got to drag him through the mud that way after what they both agreed was consensual sex, of course, but it's not an example of a false accusation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 02:51 AM
4

I don't feel a burning need to debate the merits of Islam on this sub, but I will mention that feminists tend to focus on their own cultures - because they have a vote and can effectuate change - rather than criticizing foreign cultures, which would basically be shouting into a vacuum for no reason other than self-righteousness. I should probably also mention that "toxic masculinity" is not the concept that "masculinity is toxic." It's the concept that men can be harmed by social pressures to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 02:50 AM
7

I feel threatened by #metoo because it is so explicitly sex-negative. It casts men as always trying to "get something" from women and women as having to put us in our place and resist that. Ten years ago if you said to a woman "that's a really sexy outfit," she might or might not enjoy the compliment but she'd at least feel like society gave her permission to enjoy the compliment if she so chose. Whereas #metoo teaches women that the socially responsible thing to do is not to say "thank you," bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 02:22 AM
4

Probably because the average American feminist has experienced far more trouble with white secular/Christian men than they have with Muslims. Most Americans have never had more than a few brief, passing interactions with a Muslim.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 02:17 AM
1

Oh yeah, I'm well aware that feminism is too complex to sum up in four sentences, but I believe those to be the general, central themes of each wave. I find the assertion that Mormonism or Greek Orthodox are "blue pill" to be a strange one. How do you figure? Redpill has always seemed to me to be little more than millennials insisting that Obama couldn't tell them what to think so they'll think the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 02:16 AM
3

2007/2008ish was the beginning of social media, but women weren't like "Wow, now I can poke my friends and put stuff on their wall! NEW FEMINIST WAVE"
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 01:20 AM
2

I'd say the fourth wave was already well in swing by 2016, when the Brock Turner trial went down. That's well after GamerGate, which is clearly part of its origin story.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 12:47 AM
1

I don't know what a CMV is, but I'm always down for discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 12:46 AM
1

Well, I suppose I'm also asking you, eh? It's my first post to the sub and here you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/18 12:45 AM
5

It's not sarcastic. I fully agree that #metoo is enormous compared to #yesallwomen, but I also believe #yesallwomen is where the fourth wave started. It was the smoldering kindling that rose into the #metoo bonfire. It had essentially the same messaging, and it really moved away from the third-wave viewpoint for the first time. And it was Rodger who directly inspired #yesallwomen.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/18 10:29 PM
16

A feminist issue is whatever feminists make into an issue. And when men defensively started saying "Most men are nothing like Elliot Rodger, it's a mass shooting by a disturbed man," women organized to reply "You're missing the point. We've all felt danger, and are in danger, from the Elliot Rodgers of the world." Hence: #yesallwomen.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/18 10:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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