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holyshit_idkwigo Archive

View 0 posts and 82 comments by holyshit_idkwigo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I am not a lawyer and do not know how it works in Louisiana as compared to where I live. So take what I say with a grain of salt. Until a custody agreement is in place she can do whatever but so can you. You guys are still married. But I would file immediately and get a temporary custody order in place. Please hire a lawyer and get the ball rolling. A lawyer can guide you better than any of us can
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 06:07 AM
2

She's not showing anything. Make sure you document her not allowing you to see your child. File for divorce and get custody set up immediately. Go talk to a lawyer and get the ball rolling. Make sure you keep every text and email of you trying to see your kid and her not allowing it. Do not talk on the phone or in person. Everything through text t or email.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 05:45 AM
2

Be careful with agreeing to stay married so you can stay in military housing. That is fraud. The military will come after you for that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 07:01 PM
1

That too high for the income disparity. The child support might be close for 3 kids bit that spousal support is way too high. Please go to talk to lawyer. What she is asking is Ludacris. Women think they have all the power at the start and you need a lawyer to settle your mind down. She doesn't want to get lawyers involved so you agree to this. I am also 100 percent convinced that she wanted to continue the adoption to get more child support out you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 03:36 AM
2

So you think you would have to pay around 6k for child support and maintenance? Or 3600 total for both?
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 06:07 PM
1

I work a dupont schedule, I have my kids on my days off. Our custody agreement gives a percentage split and say we will work out the days our self.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 09:23 AM
54

If she loses her job and you are divorcing her, that will affect alimony and child support. wait until the divorce is final.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 03:42 AM
6

I told the husband's wife. I waited until my divorce was finalized. She ended up staying with him. I told her because she deserved to know. I would want someone to tell me.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 06:44 AM
1

For my 401k and life insurance I named my stepmother as the beneficiary until I get a trust set up.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/22 06:19 PM
19

Veteran here. My ex had to refinance to a conventional loan. She couldn't use my veterans loan. She said this to me during the divorce, "why can't I use your VA loan? I am your spouse". I told her, because you cheated and we are getting a divorce, you are no longer my spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 02:29 PM
2

I assume your EX knows about your schedule and she still agreed to 50/50. In theory she can try and use it, and it would depend on the judge at that point. But you can always have family watch the kid. There is nothing that says a family member cant watch the kid if you have to go out of town and work. The more realistic option is just to swap days with your ex, if you are amicable. That way it remains 50/50 and she cant use it against you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 04:20 AM
3

She could be doing a number of things by waiting; getting financials in order, banking up money, leading him on to hurt him like he hurt her, etc. Its a hard decision to make, especially with a kid involved. He has been served so whats the hold up? there should have been a court date added to the calendar once he got served. Is she continuing the court date? was one never put on requested? A divorce can be a lengthy process. Mine too a year and we never went to mediation or saw a judge, granted …
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 03:24 AM
2

Does the alimony stop when you retire?
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 09:05 AM
3

Thats pretty typical for long term marriages in alot of states
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 08:06 AM
12

That she loved me and didn't use me to be a stay at home mom.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 04:33 AM
2

How'd she get your entire 401k????
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 08:29 AM
2

You and me both
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/22 11:28 PM
3

Post nups are even worse and almost always get thrown out
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/22 11:09 PM
3

I definitely agree with the first part, you can see if it creates conflict. The second part however isn't entirely true. Pre nuts get tossed by judges on a regular basis and they protect nothing accumulated during the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/22 11:06 PM
3

To be present at your kids events????? yes. She has no control over that
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/22 03:03 AM
2

Do you need joint custody to go to those things?
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/22 03:02 AM
2

Honestly the settlement submitted probably had an error. Everything has to be on point or the courts will reject it back to your lawyer. I am in California as well and this happened to me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 02:39 AM
7

So this is super illegal and I am not sure if it will work. Do cash advances on credit cards at casinos with your friends, run all your credit cards up, have your friends cash out the chips and they give you that money. You use your savings to pay off said credit cards. Make sure you being your spouse with you and send her on a shopping trip, so you can say she was there. This is money laundering and if caught you'll get fucked. But a friend of mine said he did thus to hide money from his wife w…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/21 05:20 AM
5

I wouldn't say you are being ridiculous about it. You are trying to prepare for every scenario possible. I can assure you there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have been divorced for a year and I cant justify why I stayed so long in the first place. Actually, I can, I stayed because of the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 04:17 AM
2

How did you do that? I live in California and they go off your yearly gross pay. Needless to say my overtime fucked me. 3XXX a month in child and spousal support
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 04:13 AM
1

I had to leave those groups. Every time i disagreed it was "OH look a narc snuck in", or "its the patriarchy". Even some of the mens support groups are like this.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/21 02:51 AM
1

What were the grounds for cutting your time.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 10:38 AM
26

Vent that shit out here. Don't let her see anymore of your emotions.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/21 03:59 PM
3

So does a will or trust
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/21 04:37 AM
1

No, once you settle, it's done regardless of what the value of the stock goes to. It isn't hers, you bought her out. Now if you cash out later it counts as income and will affect child support.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/21 04:23 AM
1

Definitely not the route you want to go. But does she know about the stock? i assume she does. You can buy her out of whatever the value of it is if she agrees to do that. to use you example, she is owed 5k but you guys have equity in the house that needs to be split, you take 5k off of your half and add it to hers. You two can agree to whatever you want to, if its amicable. However most of us aren't here because of an amicable divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/21 12:50 AM
8

Personally the thought of traveling with my ex and her family in the first few weeks of our divorce sounds like a terrible idea. Chalk it up to her however you want. But don't expect anything to come of it. Spend time with your kiddos and do some fun awesome stuff with them.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/21 10:06 PM
8

Unless you come to an agreement between you and her on your own. She will get alimony until you retire. Anything over 10 years in California is considered a long term marriage and the court maintains jurisdiction over it until she remarries or until she is back on her feet(whatever that means). There is no end date on it unless you guys agree to something. Plus she will get half of your retirement.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/21 08:36 AM
2

Thats not true. You do get a day and itnsounds like your support is a temp order until the final decree is made. Get the courts to make her return the kids. That looks pretty bad on her part.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/21 07:39 PM
10

whats her profile name, ill request to view it
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 07:36 AM
7

I don't know of a way to tactfully approach this subject. I would say keep their assets separate. His house stays in his name, he wont be entitled to anything from hers since its in her dads name, or at least it sounds like that. Make sure he doesn't let her make one payment on his house. He is more than likely not thinking about the negatives of a divorce if he is planning to marry her. But if her dad pays for everything i would assume she has a entitled attitude which will grow old over the co…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 11:07 AM
1

Your VA disability?
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/21 09:36 PM
3

You definitely want to know her debt situation before you get married to her. Once your married, if they are in college tiobs they will start calling you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/21 09:47 PM
8

Sounds like she thought the grass would be greener on the other side and is realizing it isn't. the problem with not getting stuck in the past, is if she did/said horrible shit and she wasn't remorseful or accountable for it, then there really isn't any resolution to it. it will get brought up again and again because it was never resolved. your gut will not lie to you. Based off what you said here, it sounds like she is emotionally immature, at best. At worst she's manipulative. Get out while th…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/21 08:23 AM
8

Damn man, that's a shitty situation to be in. If you felt this way about her then you should have told her that before cheating. I am in no way judging you. If you guys want to make it work then there has to be some form of communication, counseling would be best. Have you been remorseful and accountable for your mistakes? Cheating completely wrecks any trust in a relationship and takes a lot of hard work to build it back up. You didn't say how old your kids are but they start noticing stuff at …
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 07:59 AM
4

Brother, she is living in your head rent free. I just divorced a covert narc and it was pretty bad. once that vail is lifted you see her for the sorry human being she is. It takes a while to stop ruminating over it ( i caught her cheating in OCT/2019 and divorced was finalized November of 2020) I still get triggered. The only difference now is don't let her see my emotions. She tries to have friendly conversations with me at pick up and I just nod and end it quickly. I barely think about any of …
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 07:24 AM
6

When I filed for divorce in California neither of us were allowed to take the kids out of state until the divorce was settled. I can only speak for California. Also same situation as you, wife freaking nuked a 9.5 year marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 05:17 AM
10

Chris Rock said it best, "only women, children, and dogs are love unconditionally. Men are love bsed off what they can provide"
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/21 06:26 PM
10

Brother I know it hurts. Do not let her see your emotion. Use that hate to formulate a plan with your lawyer to get the possible result for you and your kids. The restraining order was most likely thought up by her lawyer and her as it can temporarily put things in her favor, if you did nothing wrong it will get tossed, especially if you have proof. One thing that helped me alot was the gym and talking with close family and friends. But be careful who you confide in, 90% of the people don't care…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/21 07:32 AM
3

This is the best advice. The family court system is about character, if you lie about money they assume you lie about everything else.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/21 08:21 PM
1

Get a separate checking account with you name on it and get you paycheck deposited in that, take half of the savings and put it in that, close all joint credit cards.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 03:17 AM
1

Since you decided to stay, so far. Can maybe counseling be in the cards to try and make you life more enjoyable.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 03:15 AM
4

Sounds Ike your lawyer has this under control. Don't believe the person who is trying to manipulate you
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/21 09:50 PM
3

Is your lawyer telling you this? If he is, then fire them and hire one that will actually fight for you. The kidnapping should be fairly easy to disprove especially if custody was not established through the courts.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/21 09:07 PM
1

Easy there guys. Let's keep it chill. I would hope anyone reading this story, realizes murder is illegal.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/21 09:08 PM
1

She'll split that credit card debt with you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/21 05:19 PM
2

either he is going to pay for it or the lawyers will put a lien on the house to make sure they get paid.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/21 03:18 AM
6

I wish I could answer that for you. But my best guess is, they tell convince themselves that you are to blame and deserve everything that is coming your way.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/21 03:45 PM
7

Its hard and that's why a lot of men(and some women) get caught up in the false allegations, they assume people act the way they do, especially someone who you have shared so much with. People will use your insecurities against you, they will use your deepest secrets against you, and they will just plain use you. I was a very trusting man before I caught my ex cheating. Now it is very hard to earn my trust. You also have to deal with the exes support system essentially egging them on to do this,…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/21 10:33 AM
2

you cant sell the house during divorce unless both parties agree. One party will have to buy the other one out if they want to keep it. If you both want to keep it the judge will more than likely order it to be sold if both cant afford it on their own.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/21 09:11 AM
2

What does state law say? I personally don't think its an issue, I was left at home alone for days, when I was 16, but that was back in the late 90's.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/21 06:39 PM
3

Man that's fucking horrible. what a piece of shit.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 12:35 PM
2

"pretending to be loved".... Brother that hit home for me. I felt like a plan b in my own home.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 12:29 PM
4

Thats awesome brother, having a support system during this time is crucial.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/21 08:51 PM
6

She's trying to manipulate you. You called her bluff and she's upset about that. Even if she is mad at you, you don't threaten divorce, that is juvenile. You are 100 percent making the right decision and it is totally normal to question that decision, you're going to question it alot as this process moves forward. Do not tell her or her family what you are going to do. Show her no emotion whatsoever. Look up gray rock, come on here to vent. Only vent to family and close friends, no common friend…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/21 08:10 PM
5

First things first, I am sorry you are going through this, that's how I caught my ex wife cheating, the smart watch. I am going to tell you everything I wish I would have done. Take half of the money out of all of the joint bank accounts and place them in a separate account, freeze or cancel all of your joint credit cards. Get proof of the cheating if you are in an at fault state, if you are not in an at fault state, still get proof for family members, if you want to. But be careful with that, y…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/21 04:44 AM
1

Brother, she is controlling the shit out of you. How would you not going to counseling prove her right. Do not ever stay for the kids. Kids are only as happy as their saddest parent.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/21 04:21 AM
4

I am in southern Cali as well. You need a new attorney. One who actually represents you and try to figure out how to combat that. Socal courts in all jurisdictions fucking suck ass.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/21 08:00 AM
1

About 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/21 10:24 PM
7

On a more compassionate side. I am sorry you have to go through this. I know it sucks and I have been where you are, and it does get better. Be careful what information you tell her family. Also read of on narcissistic abuse and see if you have any symptoms. I have some great book recommendations as well if you want them. Don't hesitate to reach out man.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/21 01:50 AM
7

Sorry just saw that this in Texas. Texas is a no fault state. Her adultery claims wouldn't matter anyway. But with the restraining order it sounds like that will keep you out of the house for now and could affect custody while the divorce is still in process. You're gonna have to fight and fight hard.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/21 01:41 AM
20

A restraining order isn't normal lawyer shit, she told her all of those things. This is going to be a high conflict divorce. Do not trust anything that woman says. You ca not be alone with her at anytime from now u til the divorce is finalized and even longer after that. Do all of your communication through text or email. Go after the house or at least half the equity in it. Accept nothing less than 50/50 custody split. If you are in an at fault state start investigating whether nor not she was …
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/21 01:38 AM
1

Damn man I am sorry to hear about that. They should be prosecuted when they do that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 10:36 AM
1

This all depends on the state as well. So i can only speak for California. From what my lawyer told me, unless there is a reason you cant do 50/50, you should get that. For support she will be calculated at fulltime minimum wage even if she isn't working. Now I don't your situation or STBXW, but be very careful. If she feels this slipping away she might file a false DV charge just to get custody and get you kicked out of the home and get you to pay more support.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 09:33 AM
18

Divorce is a very emotional process. But this path will lead to a lifetime of regret and will also do untold damage to your young children. They don't see your side of things. All they see is a father who thought they weren't enough and left. If your ex wife is demonizing you already then she will only push that narrative. Be there for your kids. Stop caring about what your ex wife says about you. Even if you were a bad husband, that doesn't mean you can't be a great father.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 07:41 AM
1

This is just a money grab by her. You're allowed to hire babysitters if you have to work. That go down to 30% parenting time, is bullshit. Your lawyer sounds like a pushover.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 01:17 AM
2

To get this out of the way, yes, what you did was terrible and you should go to therapy to figure out your underlying issues. But holy crap, 60 percent of your income after taxes, for spousal support!!!!!! That's ridiculous. Spousal support in most states is half the marriage, so 3.5 years. She should have to buy you out of the house, half the equity. How is she even going to get a loan for it, if she has no income. None of us can tell you what to do, but you will regret this later and it will b…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/21 02:05 AM
1

Men do this too.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/21 10:50 AM
1

What didn't you change?
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/21 01:11 AM
3

Was your mother's death after the date of separation? In most states Financials are split from that date. It's also an inheritance, and there are certain rules for that. Check with a lawyer so you're covered
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/21 01:09 AM
1

Is part of her 401k, worth losing a piece of your start up?
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 12:37 AM
1

How is your pension safe? How long were you married?
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/21 02:32 AM
6

Yes you need a lawyer immediately and she is definitely projecting. No one leaves over a perfume bottle, especially not without talking to you first. File now, so that it's filed in your county and try and talk to her and see if she'll come back with the kids. You said 160 miles away, did she leave the state?
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/21 01:47 AM
3

I am much happier. After I looked at her and our marriage through the lenses of what she was capable of, I came to the realization that she was manipulating me the entire time.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/21 11:08 PM
4

Exactly. My ex wife blames her cheating on me working overtime and working extra shifts. What she fails to leave out, is that I had to work alot to afford the mortgage in the house she wanted to live in, in a great school district. I have learned to let people believe what they want to believe.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/21 10:43 PM
7

If you are dealing with this kind of behavior, do not respond. You are dealing with a narcissist and when you respond, it just feeds them. Read "out of the fog" by Dana Morningstar. It is a fantastic book and will shed light on what you are dealing with.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/21 06:42 AM
3

In California she can take you back for child support at any time. if you make more money, she can take you back and have it adjusted, also if you make less you can take her back and have it adjusted.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/21 07:40 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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