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homoscarfiens2 Archive

View 2 posts and 31 comments by homoscarfiens2 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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28

homoscarfiens2/r/RedPillWomen08/01/21 08:30 PM
7

DISCUSSIONhomoscarfiens2/r/RedPillWives09/12/20 01:02 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

TLDR: Get therapy for yourself, this IS NOT a healthy man. Girl he's not just demanding, he sounds like he might be either BPD or on the narcissism spectrum. I dated a guy who would have reactions like this all the time, and I considered it an abusive relationship for that and other reasons. I can't make that determination for you, but I can tell you he sounds familiar. You start off this post by saying he has unresolved trauma - yeah, he does. Big time. It is not your fault or your responsibili…
/r/RedPillWives14/01/21 01:24 AM
6

People have different reasons for not wanting to be legally married, men especially. Perhaps explore what kind of demonstration, if any, you actually need to feel like he's committed. For myself personally, all I actually need is a ring given to me with the intention that it symbolizes our relationship, and for him to wear one as well, that would be enough for me to call someone my husband. Marriage is the standard symbol of committment but it doesn't have to be the only one. If it is for you th…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/21 11:34 PM
1

Will edit to clarify.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/21 07:10 PM
3

Personally, I desire this kind of arrangement because I share similar concerns that your bf does (I'm a woman tho). I just don't have faith in the state, and more importantly, I don't think that a relationship needs to be legally binding in order for you to feel secure. I want to emphasize that this completely depends on where you live, so be sure to compare what I'm saying against your local laws. There are benefits to legal marriage for sure, but depending on where you are, common law marriage…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/21 06:29 PM
3

When I was dating I kept having the same problem as you - two guys showed up in sweatpants -_- My current boyfriend actually shared his strategy with me and I wish I had thought of it so I didn't stress over my looks so much! He always plans the first date at a Starbucks (or other decent local coffee shop) and if the first ten minutes are good, then you can move on to a restaurant or something for the rest of the date. If something comes out within the first ten minutes (there's just no spark, t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/21 04:23 PM
3

Absolutely not honey. I'm glad you reached out. Having boundaries is only a problem for people who have none. All the best ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/21 04:08 PM
3

It might not be just papers next time. Red flags are indicators of catastrophe potential, they don't necessarily cause catastrophe every time. The behaviour displayed by him is irresponsible and flaky. Not the kind of man you want captaining your ship. Like someone else said, do set your boundaries and see how he reacts, but if it was me, I would consider that day enough. He is not considerate of your time or effort (or gas money), which means he is too comfortable and not working to keep you an…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/21 05:09 AM
1

Thanks ❤️ I was only able to really get out there for like 9 months before covid hit so it's been rough. Just really feeling the isolation these days I guess, my province went into lockdown again at Christmas and I have a feeling they're going to extend it.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/21 10:13 PM
1

And if they can't follow through I should probably ditch them right? Or at least not try to really make plans with them? New friends I mean. There's more wiggle room for older friends I feel.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/21 10:11 PM
1

I'm trying man it's hard lol. I was only in a friend making zone for like 9 months before covid hit. Last time I hung out with someone who wasn't my bf, aside from work when I was working, was fucking September. I feel like I'm losing my mind a bit lol. Did it take a while for you?
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/21 10:10 PM
3

That's rough. If his symptoms don't prevent him from working, in my experience, doctors don't tend to care. I'm going down that road myself rn. He's probably frustrated, which is understandable, but maybe it's time to sit down together and have a little heart to heart about what exactly he expects of you, which will give you an opportunity to tell him what you can do. Let him know that you do want to help and you're trying your best, you just need some clearer direction. You're in this together,…
/r/RedPillWives08/01/21 06:55 PM
3

I did this too. I'm not exactly financially stable yet but I have a terribly stubborn streak and really struggle accepting help. I started dating a man quite a bit older than me (I was 25, he was 39) and it's been fantastic. I started with things like asking for help opening things, or bringing me something if I was comfortable - what you ask for depends where you're starting from. Asking him for advice on things he's knowledgeable about that you may not be (or at least not as much) is good too.…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/21 06:49 PM
9

Whoa. Heal/cure him? If it's still trial and error, honey even a doctor needs to know what the disease is before they can think about "curing." If it's trial and error, then your cooking will have to be trial and error too. He can't possibly expect you to get it right the first time. Wondering how "too much spice" and "Asian dishes are good for him" works though. Has he been to a doctor for his issues? Or is he relying on you to figure it out?
/r/RedPillWives08/01/21 06:36 PM
15

If they ask a question about my reaction then and only then do I ever try to "educate" someone about my perspective on anything. People don't learn unless they want to, especially if it involves changing a mindset they already have. Not to bag on people, it's just how we're wired. You can and should say how you feel, just don't expect it to do anything. Let the seed plant itself and if it grows into curiosity, let it. If not, don't worry about it. If this woman is not simply joking and is actual…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/21 11:25 PM
1

I've tried to use bullet journals, but I find thought maps to be far easier. Give me a plain unlined piece of paper and I'm good to go. My uni notes looked like a treasure map 🤣
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/21 02:44 PM
2

Agree with everyone saying he's being toxic. I've been in unhealthy relationships before and trust me, you need to go no contact as soon as possible. Tell him what you're doing, express clearly AND IN WRITING (preferably email) that you do not want to be contacted by him in any way going forward. Block him on everything. If he tries, tell him you'll be going to the police, and be prepared to follow through on that. That's mostly a bluff but it works. Blocking him is for your benefit too so you c…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/21 06:50 AM
2

Boy does this sound familiar. I am the middle child in my family, and you sound like my mother. My response addresses both issues, because it's really the same issue. Your brothers are in their 20s. They're in the building stage of life right now, and spending time updating family on day to happenings probably doesn't seem like a valuable use of time time. Your behaviour, and I say this with love & for your benefit, constitutes a covert contract. Unless I'm mistaken, you have expectations & assu…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/21 06:43 AM
3

Girl, not you at all. If you've been with him since you were 15 then I'm assuming you just lack context for what constitutes normal behaviour. His reactions scream insecure to me. Let me explain. Most people would interpret you as funny. He potentially realizes that, and instead of laughing or even just not reacting if he personally doesn't find it funny, he decides to belittle you. He feels threatened by the POSSIBILITY that you could be found funny to other people. General rule of thumb, what'…
/r/RedPillWives05/01/21 02:21 PM
2

I have ADHD and my Google calendar is my best friend. That and alarms! I input everything and colour code it - to do tasks are yellow, friend stuff is purple, work is blue, etc. I find it perfectly intuitive and it ensures that I don't forget anything.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/21 02:08 PM
8

Was coming to say basically this. Don't rush it & feel all the feels, then get back to the present moment. ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/21 02:05 PM
2

I don't know how you were coming off interpersonally previously, but if you're feeling good about being more vulnerable and feminine, that's awesome! As for dating coworkers, if you still work in the same industry I'd go very carefully. Just because you no longer work for the same company doesn't mean he can't still affect your reputation if he had the mind to.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/21 12:33 AM
1

Sadly, I agree with those here saying take some time to be single. I went through an abusive relationship then jumped immediately into one that also became unhealthy, though I didn't stay as long. It's completely normal to be afraid of committment when that always been something emotionally dangerous for you. So don't commit just yet! Date casually, and practice having boundaries. Don't let anything get into relationship territory. If someone violates a boundary, or has red flags no matter how s…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/21 01:03 PM
13

Feel like a woman should check in here - hey girl. I have dealt with a similar issue. I was basically scared of men too, because it was impressed upon me that men were dangerous, but also get married and have kids. This resulted in me spending several years in an abusive relationship because I didn't know what actual red flags were, and felt pressure to settle. It does sound like professional help would benefit you, but also do some reading on your own. I knew I had to get in touch with my femin…
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/20 01:16 PM
5

Try Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes!
/r/RedPillWives23/12/20 12:58 PM
6

From what I've read about femininity (and as a woman myself), the case made is that being very picky with who you choose to sleep with, resulting, usually, in a low n count, is better for women because we tend to feel bonded with people we sleep with. And in western culture, the push to get married is still strong. So there is a risk of 'settling' with someone that is not who we really want or who is straight up bad for us because we feel an emotional connection. This is affected by attachment t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 12:57 PM
2

Women wanting experience applies to relationships too. The actually count doesn't matter that much, I need to see that he's had practice at being a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/20 08:00 PM
1

Damn you really did the fucking work! Thanks so much :)
/r/RedPillWives19/12/20 03:49 PM
2

Oh hell yes
/r/RedPillWives19/12/20 03:28 PM
4

Could it have been a sign that he's kinda malignant Yes, absolutely. I dated a guy with HEAVY abandonment issues that also belittled me. He was both desperate for and terrified of intimacy because he'd never experienced it, so he didn't know what to do with it when he felt attachment, and would lash out to protect himself. But ultimately, it DOES NOT matter why. Don't get caught up in why someone is doing the shit they're doing or you'll end up excusing away their behaviour. What's good for you …
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/20 05:58 PM
8

It's good to have guidelines, but I met my current boyfriend on tinder last year and I was the one to suggest the second date, two weeks after our first. He had to travel the week prior and I was busy with work. Generally speaking though, try not to message on apps if you're looking for a relationship, or even just a quality fling. If they don't go for your number, let it go. Be your high value self and if they want to come along, they can.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/20 05:53 PM
5

Seconding everyone saying if he likes you, you'll know. With the caveat: if he likes you ENOUGH to be worth it, he'll make it known. He might like you, that's not out of the question, but you do not want to waste your time with lurkers. If he's worth it, he will message you and ask to meet. When God sends you something, he sends the FUCK out of it. He makes it unavoidable. It might feel like a sign right now because you're looking for it. Let the universe do its work, live your life in the meant…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/20 02:54 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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