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hotantipasta Archive

View 0 posts and 231 comments by hotantipasta on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

It'll get easier as they get older. I was in your exact same situation 13 years ago (twins and a single) except I had the kids 75% of the time. It's rough, it's going to be rough, but put your head down and keep pushing forward.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 10:06 PM
5

It takes two people to save a marriage. It doesn’t sound like she’s interested.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 06:24 PM
10

Once she started breaking down doors it's time to call the police to protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 12:22 PM
3

Appearances aren't always what they seem. Focus on yourself and ignore her public persona.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 11:13 PM
5

Just say NO...
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 09:25 PM
14

Mine was a hired gun. She laid waste to my ex and her attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 11:00 PM
4

Sorry man, she checked out a long time ago. It's now time to embrace indifference with her and move forward with what a divorce is really about... a business transaction of splitting money, resources and parenting responsiblity. Go grey rock on her and don't discuss anything but logistics of kids and divorce. She's moved on, it's time for you to do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 08:33 PM
8

I did. My ex chose to quit her job and spend like we had two incomes. I’m much better off now.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 04:56 PM
1

That's the way it was for my final hearing. The judge just confirmed that there was no chance to salvage the marriage and some other questions, then he signed the decree.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 09:49 PM
2

Are ROFR and introducing kids to a new SO really a hill you want to die on? Those provisions are rarely enforced.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 06:34 PM
2

Is the divorce done and signed off by the judge? If so, tell her to pound sand. If not then it's time to get your own attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 04:25 PM
4

She's going to have to figure out how to do stuff on her own. Might as well start now. I wouldn't go over and do any favors for my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 05:16 PM
11

I'm not sure why you haven't contacted the police. If this is real then you are in real danger. Who knows if she's contacted someone else and found someone to help her with her plan to kill you. Contact the police ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 01:58 PM
1

She’s entitled to half of the property acquired during the marriage. Everything you had prior to marriage stays yours. Tell her to pound sand on the house and your car since you had it before marriage. You are entitled to half the value of her car since it was bought during the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 08:19 PM
2

Your kids may have to figure out a way to fund their own education after high school, or find work. I know you want to support them, but sometimes it's just not possible.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 12:11 PM
3

In most states you just have to notify the other parent where you are going, itenerary etc... as long as it is domestic. International travel is different. What you do with your daughter on your parenting time is your choice, not hers.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 11:50 AM
8

Depends on the state, but it's unlikely that a judge would entertain a change unless there has been a material change in circumstances. Her feeling like she got screwed wouldn't qualify as that.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 11:52 PM
1

Wrong way of going about fighting it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 12:24 AM
3

You're entitled to half the value of both vehicles. If she wants to keep the Honda you should just take an offset for other assets with your portion of the pilot. Divorce isn't about emotion, it's a business transation. If you don't take an offset you can use it as leverage for something else you want.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 03:53 PM
9

If she could afford to live on her own she would be long gone by now. She’s using you for money.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 02:37 AM
2

You don’t truly know a person until you file for divorce. I wouldn’t tell her in advance, catching her off guard will rattle her. The ensuing panic will be to your advantage. You can still be amicable but you will have the advantage
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 06:12 PM
1

No doubt. I would pay to have had a video of the look on her face when the judge was reading her the riot act the last time we were in court. Shock and awe...
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 10:00 PM
20

YOur new wife's income doesn't count in the CS calculation. She's probably hoping you will agree to more to save legal expenses. Sometimes you just have to go to court to get an ex to behave and stop being a vexatious litigant.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 02:06 PM
1

Then they won't garnish your wages if there isn't a court order. You need to get this under control and the only way to do that is to get an attorney. The longer you wait the worse it gets.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 10:26 PM
11

That people will treat you as poorly as you allow them to and sometimes the only way to get your ex to behave is through a court order.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 11:35 PM
2

When i found out that my ex had been leaving our two year old twins at home alone after she put them to bed so she could go out and meet some strange dude while I was at the hospital with our oldest son during his cancer treatments. That was the moment I said enough was enough.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 04:46 PM
17

This was me 13 years ago. Congrats on your freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 11:47 PM
1

We pay pro rata based on our incomes.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 09:08 PM
3

The quit claim deed won't do anything to your credit, it only removes your name from the deed. It won't do anything to the mortgage, she will have to refinance out of your name or else you're left on the note. Having that mortgage will impact your ability to get a new mortgage. You need to make sure that she refi's the house, period.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 03:45 PM
9

Do you have an attorney? Lifetime support for 5 years would be very unlikely in most states, especially if she makes more than you. If you don't have an attorney then you need to get one yesterday. If you don't things won't end well.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:47 PM
1

Since it's only been 18 months since she's been out of work that will most likely work in your favor. You can prove that she can work and provide for herself.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 08:37 PM
1

She's not sorry for cheating, she's sorry she got caught..... again. This is your sign to leave before you are forced to associate with her for 18 years because you have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 10:40 PM
9

It sounds like a dumpster fire, you need to get an attorney asap.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 06:22 PM
5

I tried to stay but my ex didn't change. Deep down I knew she wouldn't but like yourself wanted to do what I thought was best for the kids. What's best is the kids seeing you in healthy relationship, not what you are in now. Staying only gave her time to siphon off more money and prepare her exit.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 10:11 PM
1

For a short term marriage it's unlikely that you would be required to cover her legal costs or pay any support. As far as moving expenses, until you have something from the court (temporary or final orders) she can probably use marital funds to pay for her moving expenses (if she has access to accounts). If you are both on the deed she won't be able to take out a heloc without your consent, but if she's the only one on the deed then she may be able to, depending on state laws. Finally, you need …
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 06:09 PM
2

Nobody gets everything they want in a divorce. 7/7 is a very common schedule and if your ex's only reason is that she doesn't want to be away from kids for 7 days, then she will have to deal with it. If you go before a judge, your argument is much more likely to prevail since you having a stable job provides a stable home when they are with you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 02:55 PM
2

You were given sole posession of the home which she has to vacate in 30 days. After that you aren't obligated to let her come in at all. I personally wouldn't let my ex come into my home after that 30 days. Her insisting she be allowed to do so sounds very controlling.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 11:42 AM
2

It’s not written in to the tax code as a deductible expense.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:47 PM
14

Never take legal advice from your enemy. She's now your enemy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 11:55 PM
3

Listen to your lawyer... I can't stress this enough. You paid this person to advise you. If you ignore their counsil then you might as well throw the money away.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 10:35 PM
13

I thought vasectomies would prevent pregnancy. Turns out it only changes the color of the baby.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 11:53 PM
6

The longer you stay the more you will owe. If she isn't willing to work on the relationship you have to figure out if you can continue to live in this situation. You're going to take a financial hit, but the longer you wait, the worse that gets. Divorces are so expensive because sometimes, they are worth it!
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 10:07 PM
4

You're going to have to get a notarized travel consent from your ex in addition to the passports. I doubt that they are going to grant an emergency hearing for something of this nature. You're best bet is to negotiate with your ex. Appeal to the best interest of the children. It's not like you are trying to take them to Somalia or some place that is dangerous. Your ex needs to realize that this goes both ways. When she wants something from you, you can tell her to pound sand. If she denies the t…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 03:07 PM
2

Maybe she realized after the last hearing that things weren't going to go her way. Maybe she's running out of money. Who knows, take the equal parenting time and try to get it finalized before things change.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 01:26 AM
5

Dependopotamus...
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 10:07 PM
3

Embrace indifference. She wants to date, let her. Focus on getting through the process and healing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 11:55 AM
14

Now that she’s pregnant you might not be able to finalize divorce until after the birth. Depends on the state. What’s worse is some states will consider you the be the father just because you are still married, regardless of paternity. Get an attorney asap.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 02:19 PM
7

Don’t do it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 02:07 PM
6

You should call them next time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 09:56 PM
3

Fuch that...
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 12:58 AM
2

It's whenever you have the bandwidth to date. I found it was when the kids got holder and more self sufficient. If being a good parent and dating don't gel at the same time then you might consider waiting. You want dating to be something you enjoy, not something that adds extra stress.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 03:02 PM
3

I didn't care who my ex was doing, embrace indifference with her. Stick to your parenting plan and don't set a precident that she can change visitation time on a whim.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 12:14 PM
1

I didn't date unti my kids got older. It just wasn't feasable. It will get better but it will take time to adjutst to your new normal.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 12:58 AM
1

Appraisers have to be able to justify their work. It's not likely that they were influenced by your ex to bring in a lower price. If the variance was shockingly low then it would be worth the relatively small amount of money to hire your own appraiser. The housing market hasn't been great lately and many people are shocked how much home values have fallen.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 07:19 PM
7

Once the divorce is final you’ll have to evict her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 12:31 AM
3

I would never include child support as negotiable because it can always be adjusted after the divorce is final. They could agree to less child support then turn around and file for a modification after the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 12:50 PM
4

Get an attorney
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 07:23 AM
3

It's negotiable. It's customary for the person who is receiving the kids to be responsible for the travel costs. It would also be customary for the mom to be responsible for getting them to the airport.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 01:52 AM
4

During a flight they always say if there is a sudden loss of cabin pressure that you should put the mask on yourself first then help people next to you. If you keep trying to help someone who doesn't want help or won't accept it, then you are going to sacrafice your mental health too. Put the mask on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 01:10 PM
6

She can take the kid anywhere she wants since she is the parent and there is no court order in place. You need to get an attorney and file with the court to get some emergency orders in place. Your only remedy is through the courts at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 12:38 PM
2

Get an attorney. Lazy leaches get paid alimony all of the time, but not every time. A good family law attorney is your best chance of a favorable outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 07:50 PM
1

You need to ignore anything that’s not related to the divorce or logistics for the kids. You have no say in her personal life nor she with yours. Press forward with the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 04:07 PM
2

It's not a good idea. If she has late payments your credit gets the hit too. If she defaults then they are going to come after you too. If she can't afford to refinance then she can't afford the house. Divorce is seperation of lives including finances.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 11:55 PM
8

Embrace indifference and block her number. Not showing her that she got to you will piss her off a lot. Move on and leave her in your past. The best revenge is a life well lived.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 06:50 PM
2

You should talk to an attorney immediately and file first. I would hesitate to cut her off completely as some judges could view that negatively, but it certainly wouldn't hurt to open a separate account like she did with only you having access to the money in the new account.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 10:34 PM
2

No, you can't get him excluded. You have about the best results you could ask for. Just burry the hatchet and be done with it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 11:54 AM
3

Do not delay, call the police. Authorities will give it much less credence the longer it goes past the incident.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 01:38 PM
1

It's pretty standard in my state.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 12:51 AM
9

They will look at her recent employement and impute her income to what she is capable of making. She won't be able to claim $0 as her income.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 02:24 PM
6

Hell no...
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 06:19 PM
3

The longer you wait the more difficult the divorce will be. If she's threateniing then you should grant her wish and file first. Right now it's a relativly short term marriage she will have limited alimony, especially since she's had a job within the last three years. Go ahead and get a consult with an attorney, they should be able to give you a better idea where you stand.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 05:42 PM
0

Not unless the person put the kids in danger. Other than that, it's none his business
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 02:36 AM
13

Finish the divorce then take some time to heal then date if you feel up to it. Embrace indifference with her, she's not going to be your wife, you should treat the whole relationship as a business transaction from here on out. The business is raising your kid, everything else is just noise. Work on yourself, go to the gym, find a hobby. DOn't seek validation through someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 01:35 PM
5

Don’t let it ruin your vacation. I know it’s hard, but this is your chance to escape with your kids and not think about her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 07:17 PM
7

That’s a win in my book. She wants to support herself!
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 10:15 PM
2

Took the kids out to dinner at Ocharley's, it was all I could afford to do.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 10:48 PM
2

This needs to be a discussion between you and her, not through the kids. I would talk to her about her intentions to move the kids schools. Check your parenting plan and see if you have joint decision making. Are there any relocation clauses? I would think she can't just unilateraly make the decision without you. If she's trying to move the kids then she can move, but you should contest the kids moving if you don't agree.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 05:07 PM
3

You might try marriage counseling if the communication is strained between the two of you. They may be able to help you guys find new ways to understand where the other is at.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 07:09 PM
18

You’re her backup plan if things don’t work out with him. Leave while you have any dignity left.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 09:40 PM
3

You wouldn’t owe her unless it’s specified on the parenting plan. You could take her back to court and let her explain to the judge why your mom isn’t fit to watch the kids and it sounds like she doesn’t have a good reason to say no.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 07:55 PM
6

She might be but you should embrace indifference. It’s a business transaction now so treat it as such. Showing her indifference and living your best life will undoubtedly piss her off. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 11:50 AM
3

She can ask for a change of custody, but it doesn't mean she will get it. Judges like to keep the status quo for the kids, so the longer it goes on the less likely a judge is to change things. Especially if a request to change custody comes right after a request for child support.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 01:50 AM
3

The kids will adjust I promise you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 11:10 PM
7

Move the divorce forward, she’s been checked out for a while now. Stay in the house until you are legally told to move. She’s doing what she wants to do right now and you’re subsidizing it. The sooner you move forward the sooner you’ll begin to heal.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 11:07 PM
1

This is not one for reddit, it's one you need to get a lawyer involved in yesterday. If she decides to take your child out of the country before you file then it will be imminantly more difficult. You need to file now, where you live in order to establish which court has jurisdtion.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 05:54 PM
3

It’s going to be very difficult or impossible to keep him away from your child. Unless he is a convicted sex offender or something that potentially dangerous then you really don’t have any grounds. It sucks but that’s the way the family court system is.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 04:38 PM
3

Are you in fear for your safety? If she’s threatening you physically then call the police. If it’s the shenanigans of calling all the people you know then nothing is going to happen until the courts open next week. It sucks, hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 09:10 PM
1

Work more hours
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 01:27 AM
3

Are the kids in school? If so you can put them in after school program and give her the ability to go back to work. If not daycare. You really need to file so you can get some temporary orders in place. Whether she likes it or not she’s going to have to go back to work. Until then your money is her money too.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 04:53 PM
1

It’s required before court in almost every state. If that’s the case in your state then the judge will order mediation before they will consider a trial. Your attorney will guide you on that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 04:31 PM
5

It’s all fun and games until she gets the first bill from her attorney. My ex tried that bs until she ran out of money. Have you two been to mediation yet?
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 04:11 PM
2

It's called hysterical bonding. You're right to assume that she's unlikely to change long term. If your marriage isn't legal then you should break up with her and move on with your life. I don't see what she's brought to your relationship that is good.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 10:44 PM
3

Yeah, that was my ex-wife minus the homeschooling. The teeth brought back so many cringe memories. You’ll be in such a better place in a few years.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 12:15 PM
3

Your support is calculated based on your total income, so yes, taking a side gig will only increase your support obligation. I personally would not take an extra job until the divorce was over. She can always increase the child support later if she finds out you have an extra job later but cross that bridge when you come to it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 01:23 PM
7

Single if you finalized your divorced on or before December 31, 2024.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 06:50 PM
5

F@ck around and find out. Once the D word comes out it's very difficult to put that genie back in the bottle. She needs to understand that words have consequences which are sometimes unpleasant. Is she wanting to reconcile because she loves you and doesn't want to lose you, or is she just wanting to keep the family and her lifestyle intact? If you decide to give her a chance you two should see a counselor to help sort this out.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 06:11 PM
8

File now. She would get much much better terms in CA, but she will have to establish residency first. Get your own attorney and file now. She can move right now if she wants since no divorce is filed and it will be more difficult to get her back. If you file now it keeps the kids in place. The kid is almost 18 so custody is about to be a moot point, but Alimony is what she's probably referring to which is the wild west in CA.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 02:19 PM
16

They have to lock in their new partner with a crotch goblin . If things don’t work out then they get more child support from the new guy. A lot of times the guy may want a kid of his own too.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 11:47 PM
4

Do yourself a favor and block her on SM. It will save your mental health and it will piss her off when she finds out that you have blocked her and she can no longer have that influence on you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 10:47 PM
1

Yes take the loan for your attorney but not to buy your wife out just yet. You need to talk to your lawyer and have an agreement before you do that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 02:17 PM
5

Tell her no unless it’s court ordered.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:24 AM
7

She's not your problem anymore. She will have to figure out the finances and everything else on her own. It sounds like you've given her too many chances.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 06:51 PM
3

I don't see any redeeming factors about her or how she treats you. I would definitely keep going to counseling or find a new one if your current counselor isn't helping. I would almost guarantee that a great deal of depression is a result of how she treats you. The story with my ex has many similarities to your marriage. My counselor said something one day that really hit differently. She said "people will treat you as bad as you allow them to" and she's right. I've found a new life after divorc…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 06:43 PM
2

There’s more to family law than contracts. Definitely go with a family law lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 12:55 PM
3

If you don't want them stopping by then set that boundry. Shoot for equal parenting time. Having her close by will actually make things a lot easier on the custody exchanges. Don't sweat this man, it's really not a bad thing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 12:46 AM
2

Ask around too, friends, family coworkers.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 11:08 PM
1

He shouldn't install them in areas where there is an expectation of privacy such as a bedroom or bathroom. I would also say that letting her know that there are cameras would work in his favor. She would be less likely to try shennanigans knowing that her lies could be easily debunked with video.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 02:57 PM
2

If her behavior is having a harmful effect on your mental health then it’s time to leave. I agree with the other poster to beware of the baby trap.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 03:03 PM
4

Yes, she is putting her wants above your relationship, and it doesn't sound like she is ready to budge. You've made big sacrifices and you will continue to be the one sacrificing if you stay in this situation.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 06:44 PM
8

First off, don't get married until this is all sorted out. If you get married and she has a child that isn't your bio child, you may still be considered the father subject to child support. Wear protection unless you are ready for that 2nd kid. There are a few deal breaking issues that end relationships if both parties aren't on the same page. Finances, intimacy issues and children. If you aren't ready to be a father again and she is going to do it regardless of your participation then you may b…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 05:54 PM
6

Child support is pretty straight forward. Google the child support calculator in your state, plug in the figures and it should tell you about what you will owe. Don't take legal advice from your adversary.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 01:36 PM
1

Are there any childcare costs or costs for medical insurance? If so then those might go into the calculation.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 12:23 AM
10

If she can’t afford to buy you out, then she can’t afford the house. If you agree to stay on the mortgage and become her landlord, then she continues to be your problem. Divorce is separation of lives and money. Just say no.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 08:48 PM
2

I think you’ll figure it out, maybe too late, but you’ll figure it out. Marriage goes in cycles, you just have to learn to navigate those cycles if you truly love someone.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 12:38 AM
1

This was me years ago before I was finally forced to file. Talk to an attorney, get a plan together and move forward. Protect yourself and your kids at all costs. You can't help her if she won't help herself but you can help yourself and your kids. They would rather see you as a happy single person than a miserable married person.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 09:06 PM
14

Just let your director know that you are going through a contensous divorce and that your stbx is threatening you. Just to give them a heads up. You can't stay with someone who is trying to blackmail you and you can't control what she does.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 06:56 PM
7

Make sure you don't wait too long and give her lifetime alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 04:58 PM
3

They don’t have to. Did they approve her temp orders or is it just what she’s requesting? Judges like to keep the status quo so if the temporary order goes on for an extended period of time, it certainly could make a permanent order more likely. It’s easier to fight the big battles in the beginning rather than having to go back and change things. You should fight for temporary orders that are fair right now.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 08:27 PM
18

She's now realizing that you are taking her threats seriously and that she's going to have to figure things out on her own. Once the divorce genie is out of the bottle it's very hard to put it back in.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 01:42 PM
6

50/50 means equal time, not just the weekends. Most people with shared parenting time do one week on, one week off. You should push for this to allow you to have the maximum time with your child. It sounds like she may be pushing for higher parenting time in order to maximize the child support that she will receive.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 03:51 PM
3

Normally I would say settle if it makes sense financially. My ex wife used to pull all types of shenanigan's going back to court knowing that we would usually settle and she would get some of what she wanted. I eventually took her all the way to court because I got tired of going back to court once a year for BS and it was costing a fortune. It only took one time of the judge thumping her for lying to cure her of constantly wanting to be back in court.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 12:07 PM
1

CS can be modified. It’s required that if she applies for benefits that the government can seek reimbursement from the other parent through CS.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 05:28 PM
1

You need to put a timeframe on how long she has to refinance, 3 month or so. If she can't refinance then you need to sell it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 03:35 PM
5

Nobody comes out of a divorce getting everything that they want. In this case, neither of you can afford to buy the other out so it needs to be sold and profits divided. What your STBXW is suggesting is not only antithetical to your best interests, it exposes you and your assets. If she falls on hard times and doesn't pay the mortgage then they will look to you to pay, no matter what the divorce decree says. The bank won't lend her the money to buy you out but that's what you are doing if you ag…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 01:20 PM
2

You don't get to go after what she's paid when she files. You can file for your own social security using her income as a basis if it's higher. If your income is higher then you would want to file under yours.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 12:41 PM
1

If it’s not in the decree then you don’t have to pay it. You might offer to pay pro-rata based on your incomes.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 02:08 PM
3

My ex is bi polar. I found that no matter what she promised she always returned to the same abusive antics. Unless she’s doing something to fix the problem then you’re going to be stuck in the same situation. Can you live with that?
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 06:32 PM
1

She's using a very poor reason to not divorce. You may have to pay more for medical bills, but you will have your freedom. You can't put a price on your freedom and sanity. Keep moving forward and stop accepting her affection.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 10:05 PM
8

Get an attorney asap. You’ll probably owe child support and maybe some temporary alimony, but your marriage is relatively short so hopefully your alimony will be short too.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 09:37 PM
1

In most jurisdictions children can express who they would like to live with but it will ultimately be up to the parents, or the court if the parents can't agree. It helps if you can make a case for parenting time deviation (child has ton's of after school or work commitments that one parent can't fulfill but the other can). Additionally, if one parent is abusive or is alienating the other parent.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 01:41 PM
9

Don’t take legal advice from your adversary, you need your own lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 04:38 PM
1

You can't remove each other from the account, but either should be able to close the account. Just make sure she get's what she's owed from the account.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 05:32 PM
3

Make sure you close the old account once you transfer everything out so it can't receive new charges or overdraft.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 02:55 PM
3

Income from rentals will factor into your income for CS calculations, but she has no claim to the property or inheritance.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 09:40 PM
4

Make sure her car loan doesn’t have your name on it after divorce. That’s a must.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 07:25 PM
5

Couldn’t afford anything
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 01:48 PM
4

Yes, I eventually found a new job that paid quite a bit more. I also don't have to pay for her ridiculous spending anymore so I actually have a fair amount of money in the bank as compared to before where we were living paycheck to paycheck and on credit cards.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 02:49 PM
3

Fight for your kids if you don't want her moving. It's much easier to fight this right now than to go back and try to fix it later. She can't promise no child support, no judge will sign off on that. Even if they did, she can always come back later and request child support, and she'll get it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 01:59 PM
11

The trick is making her think it’s her idea or that she won. In the alternate find out what makes her uncomfortable and apply pressure to that thing.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 06:35 PM
5

Did you get a petition or just letters? If it's a petition filed with the court then you will need to get an attorney to fight. If it's just letters then no.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 06:37 PM
5

Child support will be terminated after their 18th birthday or when they graduate high school, whichever comes last. They can request post secondary support but it's at the judges discretion. If she files something in court then you will need to get an attorney, otherwise it's just a request. He could tell his son that he'll help when he can with college expenses, but I would ignore any request to pay the ex spouse directly.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 06:16 PM
11

It’s a business transaction, treat it as such. Embrace indifference with your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 06:46 PM
2

This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 01:24 AM
3

Praying for you
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 01:32 AM
1

I believe that both parents have to sign and get notarized a child travel consent for a minor to leave the country. You might check with the State Department on this.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 03:12 PM
1

You could try legal aid to see if you qualify. The only time an attorney is provided free of charge is to defend you in a criminal case, not to prosecute a civil case. You could also try pro se if you feel comfortable enough.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 07:13 PM
1

Use everything you have. She would do the same if the roles were reversed.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 10:30 PM
4

Unless they have a court order preventing either from depleting marital assets.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 10:11 AM
4

Get your own attorney, it will actually save you money in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 10:52 AM
5

Well, I found that I was able to actually save some money without spendarella sucking my account dry. It sucked until everything settled down. Looking back I waited far too long to leave her. Now everything is fantastic with my new wife. Hit the ejection button before she can file for long term alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 01:06 PM
2

DV claims aren't DIY territory. If you don't clear this issue it WILL bite you in the ass during divorce proceedings. As much as a don't care for lawyers, you need one.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 01:14 PM
2

Embrace indifference my friend. It will make you much happier in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 12:57 AM
35

Yea, my ex took 45 minute dumps a couple of times a day. I thought she had IBS, turns out it was just BS. Found out later she hid her burner phone in the Loo.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 10:26 PM
2

Why not just put a camera out in the open and not try to hide it from her? If your goal is to prevent a DV claim, then her knowing a camera is recording would be a deterrent. Unless she is physically hitting you, then a judge isn't likely to care if she is being a tool.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 05:48 PM
10

Look at this as a business transaction and listen to your attorney. If the litigation costs outweigh what you might gain then it might be worth it to settle. If not, then take it to court. Keep emotions out of it as much as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 12:43 PM
1

Divorce is a business transaction, treat it as such. Fighting her to keep the house will only cost you more in legal fees. If she wants to buy you out and she can afford it, then let her. Just make sure you get a good appraisal and get a fair price. All the anger and hate will fade in time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 09:35 PM
1

My ex tried to pull that on me. I told her she had plenty of time to get help before I filed for divorce and that it was too late. Sometimes too much damage has been done to fix it. Just because you know what caused the explosion doesn’t mean you can go back and fix all the damage it caused. Put yourself and kids (if you have kids) first.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 07:35 PM
3

I feel this so much.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 10:06 PM
3

When I refinanced my home, the title company drew up the quitclaim deed for her, had her come in and sign it, then gave her portion of the proceeds to her after she signed.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 02:18 PM
2

Totally agree!
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 10:37 PM
13

"she's scared of me being gone forever" = she scared of your money and resources not being available to her. She needs more time to make sure her plan is going to work before she shitcans you permanently. Leave, go live your own life. Don't be her plan B or C.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 02:05 PM
2

You need to pay for a separate attorney that she chooses and hires to represent her. That attorney can advise her on the agreement. Prenups go both ways, they can outline how the marriage will be dissolved in the event of a divorce, only it's done ahead of time when emotions and tempers don't play a part. Let her have some input on what is in the agreement (with your attorney's approval). Make the document fair and balanced, this should ease her concerns. If she is just a hard no on any prenup, …
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 06:37 PM
3

It doesn't sound like she is wanting to fix your marriage. It sounds like it's time to move forward with the divorce. My ex said she wanted to try and work it out. I turns out that she just wanted to use my bank account to fund her escapades and plan her exit from the marriage. It sounds like she may be doing the same.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 01:36 PM
3

She's not your responsibility anymore, and you need to get used to that. She's going to do what she wants to do, but will eventually figure out that her plans are unrealistic. Nothing for you to do but be there for your kids and keep yourself healthy and afloat.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 04:54 PM
24

I can't wait until all my kids are 18 and I can cut contact with my wretched ex.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 09:26 PM
1

She's delusional, but still get a lawyer if she files something with the court. In the best interest of the kid to bond with her new boyfriends kids, that's rubbish.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 01:07 PM
2

We are now 75/25 in my favor, but for the first year after the divorce I had sole custody and she had supervised visitation. ​ Prior to me filing, she left our 2 year old twins at home alone after she put them to bed. I was at the hospital with our oldest while he was receiving chemo, or I would have been there.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 08:45 PM
2

Repeat after me. She's not your problem anymore! ​ My ex went into self destruct mode after our seperation both financially and socially. At first it was hard to watch, then my friend told me to forget about her, she's not your problem anymore. I've found that mindset is the way to go. ​ You don't tell your kids anything. They will figure out that you weren't the problem as they get older.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 10:27 PM
4

My ex is the same way. We had it put in the parenting plan that neither of us was allowed to consume alcohol while exercising parenting time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 06:00 PM
8

You should run this by your attorney. Divorce is war, so everything should be on the table. Especially if this is something that could impact her ability to parent if you weren't around. Having a drink at night is one thing, but heavily drinking and being stoned is another entirely. Could she drive your child to the hospital if something happened? Does it impact her decision making?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 12:43 PM
2

The judge is going to ask why you didn’t do more to protect the kids if you don’t get law enforcement involved. What she’s doing is against the law in most states.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 11:46 AM
8

The court isn't going to make you pay more than you make, that just won't happen. First, you need to get your own attorney to advise you. Second, DO NOT take divorce advice from your STBXW or her attorney. Often times the first petition they file will be shooting for the moon. ​ Go online and see if you can find a child support calculator for your state. Plug your information in and see where it puts you. Also, spousal support isn't guaranteed, so don't lose sleep over that at this point. Get an…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 09:57 PM
13

Let her go get a job and pay for her daughters and her needs. It's nice that you are providing for her and her daughters, but that really isn't your responsibility. It sounds like she is using you for money right now. You should really reevaluate your relationship as it sounds like you are a doormat right now.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 09:09 PM
4

The longer you wait to correct the issue the worse your situation becomes. People don't change who they are at the core, especially at your age. Why would she spend her millions that are in the bank when she can spend yours? If you give her a divorce then she will finally have to use her money, along with whatever she gets from the divorce. It sounds like the relationship dynamics might be cemented at this point and therefore unlikely to change. ​ Also, many states will consider lifetime alimony…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 01:50 PM
4

Don't move out, that gives up any leverage that you have. You need to talk to an attorney before cutting off anything as many judges like to maintain the status quo. That and she has no motivation to move the divorce forward if she has the house, kids and dogs to herself. She'll also need to be able to afford the house if she keeps it and that will be difficult given that she doesn't have a job. She needs to understand that she is going to have to get a "soul crushing" job to support herself. Ge…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/22 02:30 PM
13

She wants the benefits of being married without having to put in the work. If you're okay with that then tell her. It does sound super fishy but that's my take.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 12:26 AM
6

She's going to eventually move on. You're going to eventually move on. Learn to embrace indifference with her and her social life. Definitely don't give her more than she is legally entitled to. It sucks but I can promise you, it will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 11:55 AM
4

Why would you want to stay in this situation. Take some time to heal then find someone who wants to be with you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 08:32 PM
2

Sounds like my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/22 10:52 PM
21

Be careful about putting GPS trackers on any car other than your own. Many states have very specific laws about the legality of that. You could end up in a great deal of trouble doing this. Even if you own the car but your spouse drives it, a judge may look unfavorably on that activity. Consult an attorney first.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 02:32 PM
1

Yes, but you can go through one of the services that are constantly advertised on TV, or go to your primary care dr.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 04:51 PM
2

It sounds like performance anxiety which isn't abnormal with new relationships. You might try the little blue pill until you've been together a few times. My ex and I used to be swingers and it was very common to use Viagra to help overcome performance anxiety.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 03:59 PM
1

Living together during a divorce sucks, but it sucks worse when your wife tries to accuse you of abandoning the kids. You need to talk to your own divorce attorney asap and get some advice. ​ I also agree with everyone else who has told you not to wait. The longer your wait the longer you will be expected to support your wife and her MLM scheme. Eventually she is going to have to get a real job. If that means you not giving her any money that isn't court ordered then that's what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 12:32 PM
1

In the beginning of the divorce you will have to fill out a financial affidavit disclosing all money, income sources, debts ect..... If you don't "bring it up" then the court could sanction you later if it comes to light that you didn't disclose the income source. Your attorney should be able to advise you on what needs to go on these forms. My former BIL was on VA disability when he divorced his wife and they used his income from disability as part of the calculation. To answer your second ques…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/21 01:47 PM
6

It's still income, taxable or not. It's state dependent, but the majority of states look at all sources of income when calculating child support.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/21 12:18 PM
13

Your attorney should be able to subpoena the bank records which will help. Talk to your attorney about hiring a forensic accountant. They are expensive but if you are talking about a massive dissipation of marital funds, then that could make a big difference in how the marital assets are split. ​ My ex siphoned just over $132K of marital funds out of our savings and into her AP pocket to fund his failing business. It took awhile and a lot of work by the accountant, but she was able to track down…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/21 11:55 AM
3

If they are nursing then probably the 2 year mark. If not, then I would think it would be fine for you both to have 50/50. Some judges are stuck in the old world with the "tender years doctrine", which is total BS. Unfortunately family court judges are given entirely too much power to make decisions based on their preferences.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/21 11:37 AM
3

My ex used to be the same way. Make sure your responses are short, to the point and business like. Ignore her emotional outbursts and respond with indifference. The less you can show her that she is getting to you, the more she will redirect her negative energy elsewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/21 03:48 PM
5

It depends on the state and your decree. Almost all states have relocation clauses that outline where you can move with a child, and most don't allow moves out of state without both parents consent. It sounds like your ex wants to move exclusively to be with her new man/AP. Courts aren't likely to let her take your son without your consent for that reason. It's not like she can't find a job and has to move for a job, or move to be able to afford to live. Tell her she is welcome to move and your …
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/21 12:03 PM
2

Often times judges will not agree to settlements that don't include child support when it is owed per the formulas. Alimony is difficult to get in Texas, but you should ask your attorney to advise you on that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/21 03:12 PM
2

Pooling the money the dividing wouldn't be equitable. They really need to be split separately unless their values are of equal value.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/21 04:09 PM
2

Mediation is great if you two need help working out some differences but agree on most of the big stuff. It sounds like she is trying to cut you out of your sons life. Time to lawyer up.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/21 12:14 PM
1

Many states have laws the dictate 50/50 unless there is something major going on. You should get an attorney and stop taking legal advice from you STBXW.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 02:24 PM
2

You really need joint with no tiebreaker. If she has tiebreaking authority then she can move the kids to a different school across town. There are many loopholes available if she wanted to relocate and has decision making. Joint is normal in most states as long as both parents are of sound mind.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/21 04:15 PM
2

I think it happens with both sexes. You just have to watch for the signs that your partner has checked out.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/21 01:06 PM
1

All they have to do is say it was a loan and it's not considered marital funds. I wouldn't count on getting any money from her family.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/21 06:03 PM
3

You aren't really entitled to her inheritance (at least not in my state) but everything else is marital property.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/21 03:41 PM
4

It sounds like you need a new atty.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/21 12:47 PM
5

It's pretty despicable how they can throw lies out and get away with it and most judges won't do anything about the lies. ​ Sure, eventually the judge will throw it out when your ex can't prove anything, but they won't punish her for lying about it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/21 02:47 PM
3

She isn't really acting like she wants to be happy with you. Her words say one thing and actions say a different thing. I sounds like my ex who kept me on the hook until she could formulate an exit plan. Fortunately I figured it out first and filed. Good luck and be careful.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/21 05:23 PM
3

If they are telling you to settle then I would follow their advice.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/21 01:18 PM
2

Maybe, but even if they do you will never know.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/20 12:55 PM
2

She has shown a complete level of disrespect for your marriage. If you are ok being her ATM/fallback plan then stay. Otherwise it's time to start thinking about yourself. ​ You are doing the right thing by getting your ducks in a row before initiating divorce. I had a friend that took months planning his exit strategy, collecting money for his retainer, paying down his individual debt. Once he had all the documentation and was financially where he wanted to be he filed.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/20 01:26 PM
11

Avoid giving your STBX any reaction. Mine loved getting me pissed off as it was a way that she manipulated me. Now I keep the conversations very business like and just ignore her immature attempts to provoke me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/20 08:41 PM
2

Make sure you notify her in writing that she is in contempt for failure to follow judges orders. Keep track of what you pay and when it gets high enough to make it worth your while then file for a contempt order against her. She will most likely have to pay your attorney fees for filing this.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/20 03:07 PM
5

If she wants the house then she is going to have to refinance into her name. DO NOT refinance it for her or cosign because you will end up in a pickle if she defaults or can't afford the payments. Divorce is a separation of everything that you two used to have, including finances. I had a friend refinance a house for his ex and she ended up making late payments for a couple of years before he had to take her back to court to force a sale of the home. ​ If she wants the house she needs to qualify…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/20 01:32 PM
0

Did your lawyer put any stipulations that it had to be sold within a certain period of time after the divorce? My friend had the same thing happen and there wasn't anything stipulating a time frame. His wife ended up taking 3 years to refinance.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/20 12:38 PM
2

You need an attorney. Many states have defacto shared parenting time 50/50 due to state laws. It also helps you that you have an established routine for the kid. She is going to have a difficult time convincing a judge to break that routine now. It is probably some boiler plate template that her attorney uses, but you need to get your attorney to counsel you on this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/20 12:10 PM
1

No, it was the marital disillusion agreement for final divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/20 01:43 PM
4

We have no fault laws in my state too but I did use the fact that my wife was cheating to put pressure on her. She gets embarrassed easily, so we told her that we were going to depose all of the men that she had cheated with. Some of them were married so this would have blown their cover. She begged me not to do this, so I told her sign the paperwork and we can end this. I wasn't asking for anything unreasonable but she wanted the moon and I wasn't going to give it to her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/20 01:28 PM
2

She isn't entitled to any of his belongings or assets. She might be able to not leave claiming to be a tenant. If she does that then he would have to evict her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/20 12:32 PM
7

That isn't always the case. It really depends on the state. In my state it is considered separate unless you commingle it with marital funds.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/20 01:01 PM
6

Inheritance is usually considered separate unless you commingle the money with marital money.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/20 12:34 PM
1

If she's trying to play the victim then the best thing you can do is not acknowledge her rants. She is trying to manipulate you and get a reaction from you. It's her way of trying to maintain some kind of control over the situation. Get a lawyer and do your best to get rid of her as soon as you can. Don't let her control the narrative or run the show. Trying to get back at her is only going to bite you in the ass.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 04:59 PM
3

She can ask for all of those thing, but her getting them may be a different story. You are on the right track by hiring an attorney. Your marriage isn't really what is considered long term so permanent alimony may be out of the question. She should apply for disability if she is unable to work due to her condition. You might be on the hook for some temporary support but it's doubtful that she will be awarded anything long term as your marriage is not a lengthy one. Get a lawyer and hang in there…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/20 01:35 PM
2

I've come to learn that much in marriage and divorce is very much a business transaction as far as the government is concerned. It's best to keep as much emotion out of the divorce as possible and make it more like a business transaction. The keeps costs down and reduces the amount of time required to finalize a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/20 03:38 PM
4

Here are some items to consider. Holiday schedules. Make sure you outline what time holidays begin and end. How will you handle summer schedules? Will each parent get certain weeks or will you swap weeks during the summer or will the schedule remain the same? Make sure you consider summer vacations. Who is responsible for transporting kids for exchanges (usually the person receiving the kids has to pick up in my case) Who is responsible for providing insurance How are you going to divide up the …
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 06:58 PM
3

You need to get an attorney asap to file for divorce and prevent her from moving with the kids. She doesn't have the final word on moving the kids, you have an equal say in that process. If you wait until she moves then you will be screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/20 04:11 PM
2

That's not a given. You might qualify for alimony, but given the short duration of your marriage it probably won't be that much/long. You'll most likely get child support though.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/19 02:55 PM
2

With the marriage being this short she is probably not entitled to much/any of your separate assets. She would be very wise to take the $50K and run like hell. Prenups are enforceable if done right.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/19 12:44 PM
1

I know it's a strip club but I go there for the buffet lol.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/19 12:51 PM
1

I couldn't fathom a newborn child at 40, but if you want another kid then go for it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/19 12:42 PM
2

It depends on the state and your parenting plan. If you've paid her per the parenting plan then you should be fine. If there was no parenting plan in place and it was some mutual agreement then that could complicate things although most jurisdictions will not award her retroactive CS if she didn't file for it. Method of payment will also matter. If you paid her with check or other traceable methods then that will help. If you paid in cash that might be tough.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/19 12:24 PM
1

Got sloshed on whiskey...
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/19 08:43 PM
1

It depends on if your goal is to get divorced quickly or through a prolonged legal battle. Some states deny alimony to any person who has committed infidelity. If that is the case in your state then put all of the sorted details in your petition. If not, then just go for a divorce based on irreconcilable differences so you don't have to go through the trouble of proving infidelity. At fault divorces can add cost to any proceeding and will end with the same results as a no fault divorce. Most of …
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/19 12:49 PM
1

You can always retain an attorney in an advisory capacity to give you legal advice but still go the mediation route. If mediation doesn't work then you already have an attorney tee'd up to handle the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/19 05:06 PM
1

In my state judges default to equal parenting time unless the parties agree or if there is something seriously wrong with one of the parents. Many states are trending this way. You might have a steep hill to climb in order to prove that she isn't capable of parenting or that you deserve full custody. Get a good attorney and follow their advice.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/19 02:37 PM
1

I had a friend that took a lesser paying job because of the stress and his high stress job had him travelling all of the time. He wanted to be home with his kids more. As long as you are doing it for the right reason and can explain it, then you should be ok. Just be ready for your wife to balk. ​ Another thing to consider is having your wife look at getting back into the workforce. If she is a SAHM then you could be on the hook for some spousal maintenance. If you have a lesser paying job then …
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/19 07:13 PM
5

You're doing the right thing by fighting for your kids. Many states now default to 50/50 unless there is a big issue with one of the parents or the parents agree to other custody arrangements. Listen to your attorney and come up with a good game plan. They should be able to tell you what your chances are and any issues that you might have in court. Try to limit conversations with your STBX to only the children. Make sure and take care of yourself and get some counseling.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/19 05:24 PM
2

Same here. I have to pay the child support office for them to collect money from my ex wife. With that mentality they shouldn't receive any tax dollars if they are being paid to handle child support. It's crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/19 03:01 PM
2

You need to approach this as a business transaction, because that's what it is. You don't owe her anything more than the law stipulates, and if you give her more then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. What she wants is irrelevant, what is best for you and your kids is relevant. Sign over your portion of the home in exchange for half of the equity, that is what is fair. Don't take legal advice from your ex, get an attorney and protect your rights.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/19 12:55 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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