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illusoryfindings Archive

View 2 posts and 310 comments by illusoryfindings on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

I know a couple of perpetual students, both men though. They get a degree, then do it again. Rinse and repeat for their whole 20s. There doesn't seem to be a big vision for it either since their degrees are unrelated to each other, just basic ones universities offer. I think they do it because they dread the 9-5, and find the student life fun (even the studying), but I've never actually asked them. I don't know how they fund it either, I know you get student loans, but I don't think those loans …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 12:49 AM
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Relationships are so much better when you don't live together. Under the same roof, there's so much opportunity to get irritated by each other's habits, spend low-quality time together because you take each other for granted, and see each other at your most grubbiest and low-effort. When you're apart, you have time to miss each other. You have to intentionally carve out time in your calendar to spend with them, which makes you value that time more, and be really present for it because you know i…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 12:40 AM
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The history isn't what bothered me at the time, most reasonably attractive men and women all have histories so that was always an expectation. What bothered me was being the type of guy who women didn't find exciting or alluring in the same way they would a hookup. I went on plenty of dates with girls who wanted to take things slow with me, but who I knew had hooked up with guys before at parties, clubs, and dating apps. They told me I was 'different' and 'not like that' and 'husband material' b…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 04:04 PM
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Really? You mean it? 🥺👉👈
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 02:53 PM
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Constantly being called husband material when I was young felt like such a devastating blow that it plunged me into a redpilly fuckboy phase for a whole year or two - just to break that mold. In my melodramatic mind, being the settle down husband for a girl who's "already had her fun" was a fate worse than death lmfao Girls, if you want to mess with a guy, absolutely tell him he's husband material but not hookup. It's such an effortless and concise way to induce a state of neurosis that'll take …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 02:40 PM
8

If we're assuming the best of everyone, often a couple will have two different standards of what clean looks like. The house can be a pigsty to the woman before the man even realizes it's dirty. Lots of women are way too anal about cleanliness, while lots of men are way too lax. The anal one resents having to ask the lax one to clean, and the lax one didn't even realize there was a mess until it snippily got pointed out to them. Both resent the other for it. Easily solved by having a clear discu…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 01:36 PM
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I liked her she was funny af, I always thought she was just exaggerating for funnies because losing weight is hard and makes you want to be dramatic about it. She was a perfect contrast to (19-21bmi) guy. Equally hilarious posts shaming men for being fat, like he shames women. Mods are foolish fools for banning
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 10:52 PM
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Jesus, I'm crying. The way he talks about his mom I think is especially relatable to a lot of pillbros. I was a simp because I was desperate for approval, I was a fuckboy because I wasn't getting it from simping. In the simp era, women's disinterest with some occasional warmth is how my mom made me feel so I thought that was normal love. In the fuckboy era, I preyed on women's fear of losing my interest, because a girl's disinterest is what kept my interest in relationships, so I knew it 'worked…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 10:30 PM
-1

It's the best thing men can do. I've always gotten more lays from cold approaches than online dating, and it was how I actually learned to be flirty and social after autistically reading pill content for weeks before taking any kind of action. I made a lot of cool friends too, despite that not being the goal at all because I genuinely just wanted to fuck lol, but it was a nice plus :) Most men on here who disparage it are the types of dudes who've tried 5-10 nervous approaches with little succes…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 03:50 PM
-2

It's always quite an insulting notion and I don't know how much of it is coming from genuinely hateful women, or ignorant ones who don't understand men are just people too. They equate a higher sex drive with a willingness to fuck anything. I would rather jerk off than have sex with someone I'm not attracted to, I would rather be single than in a relationship I don't feel good in, and there are certain types of women I like to have sex with, but not be in relationships with. Most men and women I…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 03:20 PM
1

People can be extremely fickle. I'm in good shape too, and women flirt with me in front of their boyfriends, cheat on their boyfriends with me after nights out, make things extremely easy for me if I'm the more conventionally attractive one. For a fleeting moment it's egoically satisfying, but then you just feel awful for the boyfriend, you think "Fuck, that could be me." That's not to say men don't do these things too, I'm just speaking from my experience dating women. For a lot of people, exer…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 03:15 PM
3

I personally didn't quit because not having an easy time with women wasn't good enough for me. I knew it was possible because I knew guys who were very good, many uglier and shorter than myself, who were charming, charismatic, and knew how to cultivate status in groups. These guys had women throwing themselves at them. I was royally pissed off I didn't understand how to be like them, since it was evidently a skill that could be learned. I just didn't understand how or where to learn it, which le…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 06:46 PM
–

Modern egalitarian values definitely leads to a lot of confusion in men, especially the younger they are. When I first started dating as a teenager, I was really confused by how girls seemed bored by the 50/50 stuff, but really excited by a playfully cocky attitude, leadership on dates, and dominance in the bedroom. All behaviors I was raised to not do, yet I only started seeing success when doing them. I would've saved myself a lot of trouble and heartache if I knew this in the first place, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 07:47 PM
7

She scrunched her nose when she laughed.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 07:21 PM
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Manifesting is just visualization but girly
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 02:14 PM
1

I don't think so. We all have the same rights, and the past few decades has seen a lot of effort in lifting women up. You see a lot of talk about the gender pay gap but a lot of that is just men being more willing to ask for raises, not take maternity leave, and industries that are dominated by one gender are usually the result of men and women in general being behaviourally uninterested in those fields. Most of the remaining inequalities are the informal societal/cultural expectations and doubl…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 02:47 PM
1

When I was younger, I couldn't compliment women I was flirting with because it felt too psychologically vulnerable for me. Like I was lowering defences and opening myself up to a humiliating blow if she lapped up the attention and validations but didn't reciprocate. Weird I know but that's the state of mind I was in. I got over it by giving out surreal nonsensical compliments in a half-jokey way, which I found easier to do because it was playful and humorous, and I was making myself laugh. It he…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 01:46 PM
4

Yeah that's well observed. The people here seem to get some sort of catharsis from being vile and spiteful towards the opposite sex. So many "men this/women that" posts that clearly aren't trying to understand and empathize, but goad and demonize - and they all take each other's bait. This place doesn't do anything to heal anyone's resentment, probably makes it worse, but maybe the point for them is to indulge in that bitterness. Because it feels good when you feel angry and righteous at the sam…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 10:54 AM
2

Yes, me. Went through a hermit/isolation/shut-in period for several years, all my old friends stopped reaching out because I'd say no every time, eventually I was hit with the daunting realization no one would even notice if I disappeared off the face of the earth. After a while I started going to a gym regularly, and over a few weeks there I started getting to know the regulars. Nods and smiles grew into light chat and jokes, which grew into more frequent chats and spotting each other, which gr…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 02:50 PM
2

The biggest reason why blue pill advice is unhelpful to struggling men is because it assumes that most people in society are rational actors who will select for overly kind, agreeable, meek, accommodating traits. The red pill isn't afraid to get into the nitty gritty differences between male and female attraction, especially when it comes to the excitement of a bold, assertive man who initiates and isn't afraid to make his desire known, always escalating but slowing down to match her pace whenev…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 03:35 PM
5

There's nothing more redpilling than sitting with a group of women talking about the men in their lives, especially when they're all comfortable with each other and not afraid of being judged lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 02:50 PM
3

The whole checklist is forgotten about once they feel vibes, tingles, and butterflies about you. This is why if you're 5'9", 6/10, average build, you'll still do well if you're charming and charismatic, which anyone can learn to be. You'll be left swiped away on the apps a lot because they can't feel your energy through the profile, and they're going to be in checklist mode, but you're right that out in the world they forget the list when they're attracted to your energy. PPD dudes just can't se…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 02:46 PM
29

It's because they're not used to it, so it really stings. Remember those first blundering attempts at talking to women when you were younger? Those initial rejections were painful and humiliating, but then after a while you learn it's just part of being the initiator and it no longer affects you. Women don't get the same opportunity to learn this lesson, a rejection for them hurts just as much as those first ones you ever received. On top of that, like you said, a lot of women have a really poor…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 02:20 PM
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Your healthy (19-21 BMI) posts are hilarious bro, they're my highlight of the daily thread, especially when people get mad at you for it lmfao
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 02:07 AM
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Vile behavior but sadly expected, this sort of thing happened to the autistic kids back at my school too. It's one of those tales as old as time. I hope he has a solid support network and good people looking out for him, poor guy's playing life on hard mode.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 01:40 AM
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Far too neurotic for that, if I meditate I can maybe get there for about half a second, after 10 minutes of trying lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 01:32 AM
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This is the best contribution to the sub in a long time, really good stuff man. It should be pinned. It's a good way to help women understand what men mean when they talk about the 80/20 rule, or how women overestimate their attractiveness due to the top guys willing to fuck down. Ironically the comments here so far from PPD girls about these men seem to be proving it. It's really difficult to show someone something they can't see, even if it's all around them, your post will open some eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 01:07 AM
5

You're right, and I think everybody eventually settles in some form or another. It's not necessarily a bad thing, relationships are full of compromise, and those compromises begin even during the very early stages of sizing each other up. The red pill rage towards women doing this is entirely misplaced. I was mad about it too as a young man, but not at women for doing it, just at the situation itself. I didn't want to be the safe sweet stable boring guy who gets settled for after a girl's wild d…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 12:10 PM
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I know what you mean man, I feel the same way but about slightly chubby pear-shaped women who are more cute than hot. Feels like all the dudes around here like instagram baddies
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 01:33 AM
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I tend to attract people into my life who are bad for me. Dudes with an edgy, hazing sense of humor, girls who are emotionally volatile and gossipy with intense highs/lows. It's always come naturally to me to gel with 'broken' people because I come from a broken background myself. I've been making a conscious effort to shift my attitude and redirect my thoughts lately: making an effort to not judge others, not talk about people behind their backs, try to see issues from others' perspectives inst…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:38 AM
4

The ones who truly like you will want to see you flourish, so you'll be glad they have these skills because they'll use them to build you up in life. And the ones who want to take advantage are easy to spot, because you'll feel uneasy and on edge in an unbalanced dynamic, which is a good sign to exit.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 12:54 PM
13

I can see your point, but I think ultimately this strategy would result in scaring good men away. It will either attract Machievallian types who understand this 'formula' and how to manipulate it, because this kind of "strong boss babe" posturing is like prey to abusers, they see it all the time. Or it'll attract dudes with self-esteem issues, who see proving themselves to you as confirmation of their worthiness. They'll pedestalize you and act weird, overly affectionate, and clingy on the way u…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 01:35 AM
32

The reason why it makes you feel more confident, put together, and sexy, is because of the attention and validation it solicits. Let's not kid ourselves, it's nice to feel and be attractive. There's a world of difference in the way people treat you when you are. I think all of us - men and women - do our best to look our best because society rewards it. When everyone around us is treating us better, showering us with compliments, and interested in who we are all of a sudden, it's going to massag…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 02:04 AM
1

There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, women shouldn't feel bad at all for doing this. It makes complete sense because everyone needs to leverage their strengths in dating. At the same time, as a man it's not a great feeling when you realize you're the guy she wants to see jump through hoops, when you know she's broken her rules for other guys in the past. It's not a great deal. Fortunately, most guys can make themselves attractive enough to the point where lots of women will break their rule…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 02:33 PM
4

You're dangerously close to becoming noirpilled, and I want give you some perspective for a moment. There's certainly a ceiling in men's self-improvement, and a point of diminishing returns that's not even worth going beyond to reach that ceiling. However, most men aren't going to be struggling anymore by the time they reach that point. You could be short and bald, but if you've built the physique, built the charisma, and secured your financial future, you're still going to absolutely crush it. …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 03:31 AM
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If the tiny 5'2" woman is able to reliably attract 6'+ men, then it's a totally reasonable preference for her to have, because it's realistic, as evidenced by her options. If she can afford to be that harsh about it, she either regularly has 6'+ dudes interested in her, or prefers being single to 'settling' for shorter men. The more options someone has, the pickier they're going to be - and it isn't gendered either, it's just the average woman inherently has more options than the average man. TR…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 09:46 PM
173

I've been in bed with women, cuddling in the post-sex afterglow, listening to them talk about how much they hate the red pill and how misogynistic it is, just to then immediately agree with me when I explain RP concepts without using RP language, in an unrelated conversation. "Some guys are exciting boyfriend material (alpha fucks) while others are husband material (beta bux). The dream guy can be both at the right times." "Women are attracted to men who are passionate about something, they don'…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 06:05 PM
33

I see women get shat on all the time for wanting a man who's taller then her, or earns more money than she does. Just the same as men's "no fat chicks" or "shaves regularly" preferences. People are so vile to each other about these things. Lots of people are always going to feel mad about other people's preferences, because they're inherently discriminatory. Out of insecurity, or some sense of righteousness about how unfair they are, people are going to cry about it. Because of this, you don't h…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 02:29 PM
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It's weird af isn't it? Fortunately the hypocrisy of it makes it easy to not take these types seriously. Every culture in the world has a long history of conquest, atrocities, inequality, slavery, and every bit of land we all live on was stolen by our ancestors from the people who lived there before us. Yet the European colonial empires are uniquely scrutinized for it in today's political landscape just because they were relatively recent. If conquest and oppression is bad, then in order to be m…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 02:19 PM
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I've always found it odd how some dudes will absolutely seethe about OF, especially getting mad at the girls for doing it. OF wouldn't be here if men weren't buying it, these girls are simply providing for a demand in the market. If the seething dudes don't like OF, then their blame should be on the guys creating the demand, not the women for simply taking part in the oldest profession in the world. No one's forcing dudes to date OF whores, most girls out there aren't doing OF and would never do…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 01:20 PM
0

It's never been that important for me personally, I like it when we're from different 'worlds' because it adds a lot of variety to life. As long as we enjoy our time together and are complimentary forces in each other's lives, that's all that really matters. I wouldn't class watching Netflix or going for walks as a common interest because practically everyone enjoys doing those things, so they're just a vehicle for spending time together. I understand people like different movies and TV shows bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 01:07 PM
1

I think so, yes. It's not so much the cooking itself that's important, it's the sentiment behind the act. As a man, I'm usually the one doing all the initiating and planning in the early stages, and I need to see some kind of reciprocal level of effort from her in order to believe the relationship's actually going somewhere, and it has to be more than just showing up and looking pretty because that's bare minimum. A homecooked meal is a lovely nurturing and supportive gesture, and it's appropria…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 11:33 PM
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This is very true, but sadly PPD dudes don't get it. Seeing it in action myself is what ultimately motivated me to hone my social skills when I was younger, because I was baffled by how overweight dudes who looked like weird frogs - with 0 money by the way, seemed to pull genuine cuties just by being fun and charming. If they could do it looking like they did, I could do it too. I think dudes here are just mad they can't sit back, relax, and have women throw themselves at them like they do for t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 11:11 PM
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They've already done a pretty good job at discouraging it, and honestly it's great for me as a man who approaches all the damn time lol The lack of competition and the standout quality of actually approaching makes it waaaaay easier for me than it would be if this was as normal as it used to be. This is the main way I get dates and meet new women, by striking up conversations with total strangers wherever I am. Women get to avoid unwanted interactions with men by discouraging it, so I say keep d…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 04:08 AM
48

It's not, it's just an emotionally delicate thing for both genders. The biggest issue I can see these guys running into is that women, generally speaking, view inexperience as unattractive. You're going to find a lot of girls will be put off by nervous, tentative energy, especially if you feel you need a lot of patience, reassurance, and guidance going into it. They might be into you initially, but then switch up after detecting this energy about you. There are some women who don't mind it, some…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 07:40 PM
2

It helped me learn to live with my severe anxiety and neuroticism in a way that actually felt practical, empowering, and produced tangible results. Through embracing a harsh attitude of "throw yourself in the deep end and figure it the fuck out." Whereas before I was mollycoddled, handheld and treated gently, which stunted me and didn't force me to face my fears. It taught me about the nature of attraction through the lens of evolutionary psychology, which helped me have a ton of sex as a young …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 07:30 PM
2

It's not a great strategy for women, to be honest. It'll only encourage those dudes who have options to keep her around as a fwb. I'm that dude, and this is how I end up seeing those women, it's not even conscious behavior, its just the nature of having options. If she's keen to sleep with me early, I assume she's like that with every guy she's into, which is a red flag for me. There's nothing wrong with being slutty btw, it's not some reprehensible moral failing like PPD guys whine about, but i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 06:52 PM
–

It makes you look more saintly if you do it right lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 02:45 AM
–

Own up to the mistakes you made, and go over how it lead to change and personal growth. You don't even have to hide or obfuscate the truth, because you look good just by doing this. Do it like an old dude reminiscing and laughing at his younger more naive self. You're admitting to something embarrassing, or something that reflects poorly on you, which is always endearing to people who care about you - even if you objectively were the villain. You're demonstrating some self-awareness and responsi…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 02:18 AM
–

I feel like dudes here will try 5-10 nervous approaches over a 1+ year period, then conclude it doesn't work because the rejections sting too hard. Because everything you've said is absolutely spot on. I spent years as a NEET shut-in with 0 friends. Then I went through a self-improvement phase, where I was going to the gym regularly, and I slowly started chatting with the people there week by week. Small-talk, jokes, "nice set bro" or "can you watch my bag while I go to the bathroom bro." Didn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 02:08 AM
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Much of that is just them virtue signalling or being idealistic, but most people truly aren't aware of how neatly they fit into certain statistics and demographics because our individual experiences feel so uniquely personal and nuanced to us, even if they're not in reality. If you look at most relationships, most couples are conforming to gender roles in one way or another. There are obvious traits both men and women generally select for and if you autistically optimize them in yourself you'll …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 01:30 AM
11

Your experience and intuition has given you the sense to be suspicious of stranger men. This in and of itself isn't necessarily bigoted, if anything it's good because it'll make it easier for you to avoid men who make you feel unsafe. I do think your concerns are a tad overboard, especially with the feelings of agoraphobia and palming the pepper spray, but with more time and experience I think you'll find yourself reasonably reassured that most dudes you come across aren't going to be dangerous.…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 02:41 AM
1

Both have a strategic approach to dating, trying to maximize a desired outcome. I think they're useful for certain people, detrimental for others, and goldmines of info for those who like manipulating. The red pill was useful for me as a young man because I was very timid, shy, soft, sensitive, nice, safe, etc. These aren't necessarily bad traits, they're endearing in the right contexts, but they didn't make me attractive to women. TRP taught me how to be more bold, assertive, mysterious, charmi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 02:05 PM
7

Been on both sides of this, it's a brutal feeling when it happens to you for the first time, and if you're a young man it's easy for you to make a fool of yourself by acting jealous, possessive, and anxious about it. You're not wrong for feeling those things, it's completely normal, but making those feelings known isn't a smart move because it only encourages the bad actors in the situation. If/when this happens to you it's best to interpret it as a blessing in disguise. This girl has revealed h…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 01:53 PM
9

In my experience, they're far more sexually open and they have a very porn-like view of sex. The vast majority of girls I've been with have had some sort of daddy kink or rape fantasy, and every single one of them has wanted me to choke them and treat them rough. However, I think they're more socially reserved, some would say stunted, than millennials, which makes it difficult to break the ice when getting to know them, which might explain why they can also seem less promiscuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 01:03 AM
3

There would be fewer marriages, and people would be more discreet about their cheating. Cheaters are going to cheat regardless, so this would add to the allure and the adventure of it for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 11:08 PM
–

I've never done this, every girl has felt so distinct that I don't conceptualize them as the 'same' in my head, I don't even know how you could trip up like that. If this happened to me I'd probably end up with some kind of complex about it, and quietly exist with it in my head thinking I could make it work for a while, before inevitably breaking up a couple weeks later because it bothers me too much lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 02:37 PM
2

I think people just mean it to be like any shared activity together that you both enjoy, because then you're both going to be fully present with each other in the moment and that makes quality time. If I'm doing some activity with her that she loves but I don't, a part of me is going to be wishing I'm somewhere else, and my mind will wander, I'll be checking the clock, I'll be losing energy while she's becoming more energized. She'll pick up on that stuff even if I'm not really expressing it, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 02:30 PM
22

Receiving gifts was always a chore for me as a young man, because if I really wanted or needed something I just bought it myself. The excitement of gifts as a child wasn't there anymore, because when you're an adult you're finally in a position to get the things you want for yourself. Giving gifts felt like a chore because most people now had their own money too so it was hard to figure out what they'd want, and receiving them was a chore because they'd add extra clutter to my space - and I was …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 01:53 PM
20

This is it. It's not like they're thinking to themselves how they'd love to share a man, if anything they want to be his only girl, it's just something a lot of them are reluctantly willing to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 03:07 AM
5

I think for as long as the current political climate remains, it's a sensible thing for men to do, especially if they're high profile in their companies. Sure, it might be overkill, but it's playing it safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 03:01 AM
51

I've always seen it the same way a lot of guys will put up with all kinds of shit from a woman if she's hot and fucking him. If a man is confident, competent, assertive, bold, adventurous, exciting etc etc, plenty of women will tolerate abuse in order to be with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 02:56 AM
5

It definitely seems to function that way, even if unintentionally. One of my biggest world-shaking experiences was stumbling upon the red pill at 19 years old, I was surprised at how effective it was. Initially I thought "surely these dudes are lying, most women I know insist they hate this kind of behavior from men." Yet when I started trying it out, to see for myself, I was suddenly getting attraction from women for the first time in my life, which sent me down the manosphere rabbit hole for a…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 02:47 AM
–

I am as well. I think it's because I seem non-judgemental. People always share their morally dubious thoughts and experiences with me and I just have a big poker face about it all. I don't really try to shame or police them on it, so they're way too comfortable revealing those parts of themselves to me, and they think I understand and accept them because of it. Really I just don't care unless it's interfering with my life. People who are 'aggressive' or assertive and disagreeable love people who…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 02:10 AM
–

Healthy af decision
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 01:56 AM
-1

I wonder if it would even feel special in the same way if it's treated as a total commodity. When I take a woman's virginity, the biggest part of what makes it special for me is that she chose me to be her first. On an egoic level it makes me feel like I 'won' against all the other dudes who wanted her, and on an emotionally deeper level it makes me feel responsible, protective, and like it's some kind of honor. The value isn't in the virginity itself, it's the fact she kept herself for so long …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 03:13 AM
18

I think so too, often it seems when I'm communicative about my level of enthusiasm, it puts them off because they think it's desperate, or it removes the excitement/anxiety of not knowing whether or not I'm into her. There's definitely this weird pressure to not actually show how much you care, or how sweet you can be, because more often than not feigning low-level interest gets better results, it sparks more enthusiasm in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 11:18 PM
–

I find groups are perfectly willing to mingle but not willing to initiate it. Most nights out I end up fusing my group with another, you just have to take the initiative.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 12:38 PM
–

There's not a lot of incentive to try, unless she's super ambitious about shooting for a top tier man and is serious about it. There are enough men in the world who're into chubbier women that they really don't struggle. I love bottom-heavy pear-shaped girls, they're my type.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 01:04 AM
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I work from home so I think I overdo it when compensating for all the alone time. Usually I'll have lunch with a different friend every day, and then a couple times a week there'll be some kind of event or gathering where I'll meet up with a larger group, typically involving alcohol. I'd like to have more group outings that don't involve drinking, but I can't find many hobby groups that seem compelling to me. I think I'll have to start going to random ones and remind myself it's about the social…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 01:01 AM
8

The most difficult thing about it for me is just how easily it happens, women have strayed from their boyfriends with me for the most trivial reasons. She had just had an argument with him, and she met me that night. She just got caught up in the moment and the adventure of it. She'd been 'neglected' for a while and finally felt wanted and appreciated by someone. She thought it's okay because "it's not that serious" even though to him, it very much was serious. It's the callousness of the cheati…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 06:21 AM
13

I've been on both sides of this. Losing a girl to 'the guy I shouldn't worry about' and being that guy in other couple's relationships. These experiences are making it very difficult for me to let myself connect with women properly, which is a complete self-sabotage. A relationship is something you invest so heavily in, to get to a level of long-term trust, comfort, security, stability, etc. yet it's delicate and precarious, and easily broken. Like a tower that takes years to build, but falls do…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 01:22 AM
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I forget my own, someone will remind me halfway through the day it's my birthday lmfao
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 01:19 AM
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She probably thought it was deeper than it was. You didn't just forget a birthday. Ugh... You forgot about her! If you can't even remember important details about her life, do you even care about her? Remember that time you forgot this and that and then you did that. Do you even like her? I don't understand how you could and it's so funny you did that because blah blah blah Ever been on the receiving end of that? She'd be thinking all that when in reality you really did just forget the date lmao…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 01:15 AM
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That's a fairly standard answer from women when you ask them this, it's hard to tell of they're being facetious or if they just don't understand men very well, but either way they definitely have to offer more than just sex. For me, it's hard to put into words but there's a certain sense of peace and serenity relationship-worthy women bring about. Like a gentle, nurturing presence that permeates day-to-day life, which feels like being hugged 24/7, spiritually. Is she supportive of your goals? Do…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 01:06 AM
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Tried the "be yourself" thing again with this next girl cause I wanted to relax a bit instead of wear the usual red pill chadman mask like I do for the others. She went all gossipy and bestie with me after the flirting and tension died down, and genuinely thought I was gay or bi. My natural authentic self is quite feminine. I was raised by aunts, sisters, and a single mom - I was socialized like a woman. I giggle, I indulge gossip, I love having complicated "emotionally intelligent" conversation…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 12:00 AM
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It's mostly just women bad men bad bickering, but there's a few interesting perspectives about the different dating advantages and disadvantages between the sexes. Just gotta filter out all the bitter boys and girls trying to "gotcha" each other with the same recycled arguments week after week. There's a handful of empathetic men and women here, and they're all angels.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 09:10 PM
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The self-awareness is the hardest part of it, it's hard to fix something you don't even know is there. But when you have that covered, you're nearly there. It's only a matter of time and patchwork. I think you'll manage to heal whatever it is that's troubling you as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 07:45 PM
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Babies
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 07:28 PM
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It's best just to treat tinder like a numbers game. Don't get too invested in any one prospect too early on because it leads to this kind of neurotic questioning and doubting yourself. Women are spoilt for choice on the apps so they're going to be extremely picky and flaky. It's important to stay focussed on the ones who give you the most reciprocity and enthusiasm. Whenever you find yourself frustrated or confused by the imbalance of give/take with a girl, you should put her on the backburner, …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 07:24 PM
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I've felt similarly for a long time. I think it's due to a mixture of the way people are at the moment, and some faults with myself and my own behaviors. I've made lifelong habits of pre-emptively judging others, cutting people out of my life whenever they mildly annoy me, nexting perfectly good women for slightly prettier ones who are marginally more eager to give me the things I want, resenting friends and family members for perceived slights, and letting that bitterness bubble in my heart for…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 06:59 PM
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That's why I had to stop using it lmfao, I could feel it hacking my psyche in real time
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 12:04 AM
4

The vast majority of women I've been with have wanted me to treat them like this in the bedroom, and it breaks my heart every time. I don't want to do these things to someone I treasure and love, it feels wrong. But I believe I attract these kinds of girls because I have my own history of mental health problems and trauma, it runs deep in my family. I'm trying to heal and develop myself to a point where I can attract women who don't want this sort of treatment from me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 12:02 AM
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I prefer linking arms, it feels more romantic
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:07 AM
1

The internet says it's frowned upon but the internet's like that about every little thing. I personally do a lot of approaching and it has only ever been a net positive in my life. I approach in cafes, stores, parks, the gym, anywhere. Sometimes it's well received and sometimes people aren't up for it, it's around 50%. Some girls see it as annoying because you're just not attractive to her, others appreciate the boldness of it because, as you said, guys don't do it anymore. I approach men too, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 12:56 PM
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Getting that Mewtwo body
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 03:37 AM
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I get what you mean, it's not eyebrows for me but other things. I don't like how some people scrunch their noses when they laugh. It's harmless and they can't help it, yet it grosses me out and makes me mad lmfao I'm like a tiktok girl with an irrational ick.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 10:57 PM
26

This has been my experience with women as well, and was equally a major eye-opener for me. I was always taught to be overly respectful, gentle, accommodating - mom taught me to be a 'gentleman.' Which, as you pointed out, always resulted in unenthusiastic and annoying sassy behavior in relationships. As soon as I started acting more dominant and selfish in the bedroom, those women switched up and acted more soft and feminine around me. It was jarring for me because there I was, finally getting t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 10:39 PM
19

The thing that frustrates me most about dating is that it often feels like a race to the bottom to show how little one person cares for the other. Like it's an emotional power struggle. I love open communication, honesty, authenticity, truth, vulnerability. This is what makes my friendships so fulfilling, and why I love my friends. But in dating, I feel like I'm not allowed to have these things. Women will interpret it as neediness, neuroticism, boring. The nasty ones will continue to play the p…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 03:02 AM
3

It's typically a woman who says stuff like that, I don't think I've ever heard a man say anything like this. People who do well in good careers are usually assertive and disagreeable, very good traits to have when you want to climb a ruthless corporate ladder and be successful. But men in general aren't attracted to assertive, disagreeable women. They'll be seen as bossy and uncooperative, not sweet, nurturing, and nice. There are plenty of men who are into this kind of woman, but she isn't into…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 03:14 PM
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It takes me a while to really like a girl. Need a lot of familiarity and stability from her over a long period of time, so "she's growing on me" is a good thing because it means she's giving him that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 01:12 AM
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It's nothing to be ashamed of man, you're just comfortable and vibing in your own home. If people saw you do it yeah, they're gonna be judgey as fuck, but that's just cause they don't get it. Fuck it man, you gotta wear a mask all day, at least let yourself take it off at home. You're just being comfy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 10:49 PM
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Took a girl for a cheapo kinda lazy picnic date recently cause the sun's been out, I just bought wine, fruit, and croissants.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 10:42 PM
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Woods you rather ban alone in the wear with a boods or a mear?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 10:27 PM
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I've always felt like relationships are a game of compromise, especially if you're living together, since you have to be conscious of their time, their feelings, how your actions affect them. There's also a lot of listening to them talk about stuff you're not really that interested in, or planning dates when sometimes you'd rather be doing other things. I also feel like relationships are more give than take in the early stages, especially as a man. This is not to bash relationships by the way, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 10:17 PM
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I just tell them I'd be all for it if "that's literally all !!" but the 'men are trash' attitude makes me associate it with hate and bigotry and I'm not about that kind of shit-slinging and tribalism as someone who believes in equality. The good ones are sympathetic and the conversation shifts to how extremists ruin ideologies, met a lot of cool balanced people this way. The bad ones continue to screech about "men this... men that..." which makes it easier for me to not take them seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 10:05 PM
5

I've always seen it this way too. PPD dudes get so mad about women wanting contradictory things, but as soon as you stop taking it seriously, it doesn't bother you anymore. She is just a girl. Dudes do this too when they want a girl who cooks, cleans, looks after the house, when he's only earning 30k a year and is no position to earn a comfortable living for both of them. You don't have to take these people seriously, they either haven't thought it through properly or they just want to reap the …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 09:52 PM
1

In all honesty, the best you can do as an individual man is a self-improvement arc. It's difficult at first, but once you reach a certain level, the script gets flipped because now you get to be the picky one. Hoping for any kind of collectivist cultural revolution is just shooting yourself in the foot because it's not going to happen, so you'd just be waiting around and rotting in real time. The good thing is the average guy is so unappalling to the average girl that you only need to be ever so…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 07:28 PM
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Lmfao nah man I think it's just a case of me having some mental health struggles in the past and probably attracting, and being subconsciously attracted to, others who are similar in that regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 03:28 AM
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It's nuts, I don't blame or judge them for it because we're all into different and kinky things to some extent, I'm no angel myself. But like you said, 5 in a row. I wish it was possible to view yourself from a 3rd person perspective, like how other people view you, so you can see exactly what it is about you that attracts the types you're not really into.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 01:52 AM
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The opposite. I love frilly dresses, bows and ribbons, pastel colors girls, whatever that aesthetic is called.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 01:40 AM
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She's unfortunately just not attractive, which is number 1 for men. You could end the discussion there without needing to dig deeper, but if you still wanted to... The nature of her work invites a lot of chaos, controversy, and drama into her life - which will become part of a man's life too if he dates her. She's a busy woman who runs a successful business, so a man might be concerned about how much time and care she'd have for a relationship. And online ragebait is the modern reality TV, which…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 01:00 AM
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I need to find a way to change my type, this shit makes my sensitive little heart cry.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 11:27 PM
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The last 5 girls I've been with have all wanted me to pee on them in the bedroom wtf is going on
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 11:20 PM
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You don't have to worry about any of this shit. I approach whenever and wherever if I'm attracted, and the way I go about it is exactly the same every time, nothing changes. Yet some women like it, while others don't. Some have snootily turned their noses up at me, while others said they liked the boldness of it. You never really know if it's going to go well or not, and the results aren't always a reflection of you. Maybe you just don't vibe together, maybe she's not the kind of person who's op…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 01:43 PM
4

I can explain how it happened to me. It's anecdotal but I'm a pretty typical example of this kind of man. For reference I'm in my mid 20s, that weird cusp generation between gen z and millennials. In my late teens I became absolutely obsessed with the red pill. The reason why is because I was dismally unsuccessful with women, and I wanted to understand why they didn't like me. I knew it wasn't women's fault for not being attracted to me, it was something about me that wasn't very appealing. I wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 03:41 PM
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5
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 11:17 PM
103

When you find one who really likes you, she'll give you her all. It's like she gets tunnel-vision on you being the man in her life. Constantly wanting to see you, helping you out with all sorts of random things you never even asked for, eager for anything you want to try in the bedroom. They act like how simps act for random women they just met. You only have to experience this once as a man to understand what romance should feel like because it's completely unlike the usual experience with wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 01:32 AM
5

In my experience if you're trying to make her feel tingled to the max for you, just do the red pill handbook because it works for the vast majority of women. But after a while this gets old because like I said in my first comment, it makes you not respect them, when every time you pretend not to care, they love you more. I do this when looking to get laid and looking for fwbs, but whenever I'm just chilling and being my authentic self, my relationships with women end up in bestie mode because I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 01:47 AM
3

That's why a lot of naive but good dudes feel blindsided by first dates with this vibe. They come away from it thinking they've met their magical match, but the magical match goes away from it feeling like she's made a nice new friend lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 01:28 AM
9

I've always gotten much better results from feigning low interest, the red pill really does work in this sense. Women fall harder and faster for you, and give you much more of their love when they feel like it's easier for you to walk away than it is for them. However I find myself subconsciously not respecting these women because it grosses me out when they love me harder the worse I treat them. When I'm more authentic and commutative about my interest levels and excitement, lots of women will …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 01:18 AM
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Just a hollow head with a hello kitty plush inside
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 03:19 PM
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Their hearts are in the right places but they don't realize how unhelpful they are at best, and confusing with mixed messages at worst. They're probably just as irritating to the girl as the ones who post mean comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 03:12 PM
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It's hard to get mad at someone doing things unconsciously, makes no sense really and it's easy to adapt to the ignorance. If it's deliberate, unashamed, hypocrisy then that's something different.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 03:09 PM
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I'd just think that's how she was feeling in the moment because she was shaken up by the whole thing. It's a pretty scary thing for a mother and women are pretty risk-averse as it is, even more so around kids. However I'd still continue to play with my son like that because I know I'd never toss him so high that I wouldn't be confident I could catch him. That'd be actual recklessness. In the pool, part of the game is deliberately letting him land in the water anyway. I've done this with kids bef…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 03:06 PM
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This is something I found very jarring when trying to date as a young man. I grew up in a very progressive area where the vast majority of people are all about feminism, equality, etc etc. This was the blueprint I was given before entering adult life and I wholeheartedly agreed with the sentiment at the time. But then I'd date a lot of women who'd have a lot to say about how they're looking for a 50/50 equal partnership, yet when it came down to it they all got the most 'tingles' and devoted so …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 02:43 PM
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The floor opens beneath you, just straight gobbled up into hell, no second chances lmfao
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 05:17 PM
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More than I can count back in the day. I remember the first night I discovered it. 9 times and I thought it was the best feeling in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 05:13 PM
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It's a small part of a much bigger problem that goes beyond just gender issues, and it's due to the nature of the internet. People are very volatile and reactive online because the most engaging 'content' is outrage content. We have a natural propensity to click links, read articles, follow influencers, and watch videos that make us mad because it's very emotionally stimulating. Even if the stimulus is negative, we come back for more, like addicts. When social media algorithms see people engagin…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 02:16 AM
3

I was obsessed with it, like a starving dog, until I was able to consistently get it. Then I didn't care anymore because I knew the option was always there. Calmed me down a lot. When one of your needs isn't being met (food, water, sleep, sex) it's all you can think about.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 03:12 PM
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Well done bro, cold approach opens up so many doors for you. You'll meet some really cool people the more you do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 11:51 AM
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Lmfao too true
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 12:28 AM
1

Mine just says "Unemployed." but in the pics I'm at fancy places.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 01:14 AM
3

I haven't but maybe I'll look into him. These are all conclusions I reached from reading reams and reams on attachment theory, C-PTSD, anxious and obsessive thought patterns, trauma, attraction, expectations, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 10:35 PM
6

When I came out of that grieving stage I realized all this time I wasn't looking for a relationship, I was looking for a mom. I knew that it was too late for me to have that maternal love in my life, and that it was inappropriate for me to keep seeking it from women, so I read up a lot on mental health and trauma and eventually learned how to manage those feelings and wounds myself. At this stage, I realized a committed relationship wasn't even high on my list of priorities. The thoughts of my w…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 11:36 PM
5

You're right, had we not discovered TRP, we'd still have these painful lessons to come. Many guys only get them when they're middle-aged and going through a divorce. I'm grateful I got to experience and process these things while I was young.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 10:52 PM
8

It's not like that, it was a positive thing. Grieving the loss of that misguided notion of what a relationship should be was a necessary step for me to stop craving it, to stop thrusting those expectations unto the women I liked, to stop allowing emotionally abusive women to take advantage of me, to learn how to build a good relationship with myself. Although it was heartbreaking, I'm grateful for it. It ultimately lead to me learning how to love myself, soothe myself, and I eventually reached a…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 10:48 PM
77

It broke my heart, the long way round. I saw immediate success after discovering the red pill. I was a shy, socially awkward, chubby, baby-faced 19 year old dude with literally 0 friends. A completely isolated shut-in, riddled with anxiety. Then I swallowed the pill. It was the personality changes at first. I acted confident, assertive, decisive, aloof, stoic, mysterious. I became more of an initiator, speaking to random people and inviting them to things, and I maintained a playfully amused min…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 03:31 PM
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I swipe on the chubbers sometimes if it fits them well. I'm not talking 300lbs w/ forehead fat but a squishy girl shaped like a pear, I love them. There are plenty of dudes like me who like the slightly overweight girls, and there are plenty who like the big whales too. That's why these girls swipe, a lot of handsome guys really are into that, and if the girl feels like you're out of her league she makes more of an effort not to be a hassle, so you get an easy fwb out of it with a girl you find …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 05:05 AM
7

Initially yes, but when you stop caring about the girls' opinion of you, it doesn't hurt anymore. It's silly to take rejections as an accurate value judgement, especially when the girls don't even know you that well. You might simply not be attractive to that particular person, or maybe you are but she's in a stinking mood at the time, or just not in a social headspace. You can get into this fun mindset where you think about how you can switch up your game, or what might work in different situat…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 04:54 AM
0

It doesn't take much to get the ball rolling, but us spergs have to be open to that feedback you mentioned and unfortunately it's not going to come in the form of communicative discussion but in changes in the way people treat you. You're going to create a lot of awkward moments and be the source of major cringe when you accidentally fuck up socially, and people aren't going to like you for it. Most autistic dudes experience this in childhood and it's why they become so averse to socializing lat…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 04:38 AM
26

I'm a 'neurospicy' man and it definitely held me back in my early years trying to date. Thought I was doomed for sure. However, if you can get to a place where you can accept yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin, masking stops feeling like a burdensome task and begins to feel more like a fun game, because you're no longer using the approval of others as a pillar of your self-esteem. You end up carrying your weirdness and strangeness with a natural confidence, and when you've trained yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/24 04:37 PM
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I usually match the severity of what they say + a notch, that's how I gauge it. If you want to be graceful about it you can twist what they say about you into positives, without retorting. But in general the fun of the game is finding where the line is and getting as close to it as possible without actually stepping over.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 03:06 AM
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All the men in my family were meek nice guys who coupled up with domineering women. The women would shit-talk men constantly and it made me feel a lot of shame growing up, because men are evil oppressive lust demons and I'm a man so that means I'm bad. At some point I realized the only way to not feel awful was to stay quiet, do as I was told, and be extra extra nice to women. It took the red pill in my late teens to teach me a few very basic things like it's okay to be a man, there's nothing wr…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:57 PM
4

You have to understand that a lot of the time when women accuse men of being insecure it's not actually a factual observation, it's just low effort easy hit to most men's egos that'll leave a substantial bruise. In the same way criticizing a woman's looks is an easy way to make her feel self-conscious. If you find it disrespectful and tacky for the person you're with to make those kinds of comments, you're not insecure, but you might get called insecure because people don't like being called out…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 04:14 PM
23

Yes, this is essentially what I learned through getting indoctrinated by the red pill as a young man. Before, I was quiet, gentlemanly, accommodating, kind, sweet, because that's what I was taught by everyone growing up. At 19 I realized it wasn't getting me anywhere. After practicing the red pill, it was like night and day. I'd act aloof, pretend I don't care as much about the girl as I actually do, move through the world with a hint of arrogance, come onto women early and strong, objectify the…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 12:54 PM
1

I was fat and ugly, pretty short too. Well a solid average 5'9" but to a lot of women that's short. I did the whole aloof playful hyper-social mysterious man shtick, that's what worked. It gets you laid but it makes you cynical because you want to be nice to these girls because you like them, but they only want you when you're mean to them. Now I just stay single and pull out the red pill stuff when I feel lonely, because I don't want a relationship like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 01:57 AM
0

I think it's true, I'm 26 now but in my early 20s I was the typical zoomer and I didn't get a lot of interest, it was only when I started messing with red pill tactics did I finally start seeing some action.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 01:34 AM
63

You're right in that it's more socially acceptable for women to do this, but that's just because it's the current cultural swing we're in right now. What you're describing happens with any group who has gripes with another group. See the "all women are whores, sluts, gold diggers" from dudes on the other side of the coin. It's just a lack of awareness on the part of people doing this. They've been burnt in the past and there's a level of empowerment they feel from venting about it, plus the soli…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 03:56 PM
2

Being able to bounce back and forth a little bit is an advantage for sure, I find the nicer stuff gets them really attached to you later on, but during those initial few weeks of knowing each other, the time where she actually falls for you, the bad boy stuff is leagues leagues leagues more effective. It's difficult because it hurts being mean to someone I care about. I haven't found a way of dealing with this other than bringing out the bad boy mask when I get horny, but otherwise staying singl…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 12:15 AM
6

Been reading your comments here bro, I get what you mean about not liking how women seem to like you more when you're a little mean-spirited. My natural self is closer to nice guy just because it feels nice to be nice, but in my life this gets 0 interest. When I learned how to adopt a bad boy persona, results went through the roof, and I was left a little bit sad like "why does she only give me her best when I'm mean to her, I want to be nice to her" lool
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 12:05 AM
3

Kindness, intelligence, confidence. Kind, nurturing energy is pure magic. It's so attractive, reassuring, and cozy. I think this is why a lot of guys try to be overtly nice to women because it's how they want a woman to treat them. Intelligence makes for great conversation, and the curiosity that comes with it is great for exploring new things and ideas together. Confidence is irrelevant to me. She can be extremely extraverted and bubbly, or shy and self-conscious. As long as she's sweet, I'll b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 09:19 PM
4

Sometimes, I've done this before and it opened my eyes a bit. She claimed to be a lesbian, only dated women, yet ended up sleeping with me. I concluded she was either lying about it, or maybe she earnestly believed she was a lesbian, when in reality she was bi. Her friend circle was the very progressive, social media activists type, and from what I saw, claiming some kind of special identity is the same as status in that culture. They also have a lot of infighting about the validity of bi people…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 08:16 PM
1

When I was younger I made a beautiful discovery about this when I went through a 'say yes to everything' phase. I'd meet a lot of insanely hot women, way out of my league, I knew they wouldn't even give me a shot, so I entered these interactions in a kind of defeated "Yeah this aint gonna work so I'm just gonna have fun here instead" state of mind. This chilled me tf out and removed that pressure to peacock as men do, so I'd laugh and joke and flirt just for the fun of it, knowing there's no rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 01:59 PM
1

I felt this in my soul bro, I've been trying tell the boys to keep these girls around because they make really great friends for all the reasons you listed. But they act super repulsed by the ugliness, as if someone's forcing them to fuck her lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 01:40 PM
7

This is definitely how I feel as a man, it gives you this slightly disgusted/disappointed feeling which I've always thought of as the ick Another one that icks me out is being called husband material, makes me feel like she's not excited about me and my energy, but just sees me as a safe convenient cozy option. Like I'm gonna have to jump through all these hoops that she wouldn't necessarily make another, more exciting man jump through in order for things to develop. This feeling has helped me e…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 01:23 AM
11

For men, I'd have to say no. We hear it all the time, women would like their men to open and up and be vulnerable, but as countless men have experienced, if you actually do open up, she loses attraction to you. I don't think this is deliberate or even conscious. I think when women say they want their men to be vulnerable, they genuinely believe that's what they want, and have good intentions to be supporting and loving, but when faced with the reality of it, it gives them a really big ick. I thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 10:30 PM
2

Man, I get these sad boi hours sometimes too and always want to basically ask that. But then I remember how I feel when I'm the receiver of texts like that from someone I'm not interested in and it's usually utter indifference and maybe mild annoyance. It keeps me from sending that embarrassing text loool
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 06:00 AM
2

I know exactly what you mean bro, they have this weird revenge fantasy energy. I think it's because the typical reddit audience is the socially awkward type who maybe got bullied at some point in their lives. Understandable why that attitude permeates this site really.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 05:50 AM
2

Brownies cloud my judgement loool I'll be chewing on a fresh baked brownie I know she spent a bit of time planning and baking with the sole purpose of bringing them to me, because she remembered exactly how I like them from one offhand comment, and I'll be thinking shit like "Mmm tasty wow, maybe I love her, maybe she's the one, she's so hot, look at her over there being all cute acting like she doesn't know what she just did." And then the typical man-brain horny thoughts follow.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 05:46 AM
1

I've always done both. I like dipping into new groups and meeting new people and I like showing off my girl to the boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 05:41 AM
5

Crossover episodes lmao we're in the Friends multiverse
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 05:40 AM
4

It's never words, but actions for me. Seeing her ignoring everyone on her phone but replying to my msgs lightning fast. Seeing how she spent a long time getting ready making herself look nice before seeing me, a lot of women get low effort about this when they feel super secure with you. Comes over with baked treats. Socially graceful, can take her to different social 'worlds' and she'll try her best to not be embarrassing, and make me look good. This stuff makes me feel like she's truly investe…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 05:19 AM
20

The most common way of dating these days is using the apps. Women on dating apps are exceptionally picky. And they should be, right? They have endless wave after wave of interest from men, so they're in a position to pick only the best ones, it's only logical. It makes perfect sense. Anyone, man or woman, acts like this when they have access to an abundant resource with relative ease, they only want the best of the best. However, this environment isn't great for the average dude, because average…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 02:20 AM
2

It is, but it doesn't matter. Dating is full of hypocrisy. I'm a man and I only want to be with women. Therefor I'm excluding all men, despite being one myself. You might think that's a stupid example, but we're not looking for exact clones of ourselves when we enter relationships are we? People will only get mad at hypocrisy in dating when they're part of some excluded group. Look at how mad women get when a man says he doesn't want a girl with a promiscuous past, despite being promiscuous hims…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 06:39 PM
1

I'm a person A and I don't think I'd even consider a relationship with someone who isn't willing to be person B. It's not about finding an excuse to be a lazy slob at all. An important part of relationships for me has always been doing things for each other to make our lives easier. If I'm earning all of our money and supporting both of our lifestyles, I'd expect them to look after the home for me while I'm doing it, at the very least. Otherwise things would be too unbalanced. Housework and mana…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 12:38 AM
7

You can get this kind of relationship from women with anxious attachment styles, or from women who you've triggered some kind of hypergamy-esque response in, or if you're really attractive. When you've experienced it a few times you finally understand why women are bored at best by pedestalizing behavior, or disgusted at worst.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 12:23 AM
1

As a young man I really felt like the only solution was to step up my game. Big society-wide solutions were not something I had any means of influencing. And I thought realistically, if I wanted relatively easy access to love, sex, and intimacy, I had to become someone who's not just another invisible average man.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 09:52 PM
8

Speaking from a blunt, male perspective, when I pump and dump it's because I thought they were hot but had personality traits that were extremely off-putting for a serious relationship. Most of the time they're not even bad traits. Impulsive, whimsical, low inhibited women are fun to be around on nights out, but can feel too chaotic and wild to safely emotionally invest in. Bossy girls are great at herding the group and planning things, but would drive me absolutely insane in a relationship beca…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 05:44 AM
2

I don't know, I think I'm biased but I would say no. There have been so many times where a woman has cheated on her boyfriend/husband with me. It breaks my heart every time because I empathize with the guy and feel like I'm getting cucked, even though I'm the one doing the cucking lmao My first love also cheated on me so that likely contributes to my bias. However, I know a few women who get off on sleeping with married guys, and from their point of view they might think men are less loyal to th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 04:07 AM
–

It wasn't my looks but my personality. I'm naturally a very anxious man due to a troubled childhood. Timid, risk-averse, overly-analytical, socially clumsy, self-conscious. When I was younger, I was getting 0 interest from women, and on the rare occasion I did, it was from assertive women who came on strong and wanted to baby me, which I didn't want. Eventually I learned how to be more assertive, show more initiative, and it got me a ton of interest from the kind of women I like. But it feels pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 03:48 AM
14

No, the problem with it is that it actually works, that's why it sinks its tendrils into the minds of so many young men, that's how it got me a few years ago. You go from a completely invisible average guy, to having a phone full of fwbs pushing for your situationships to grow into something more, in a matter of weeks/months of practicing it. If it didn't work, it wouldn't be talked about anywhere near as much, and I wouldn't have gotten swooped up in it. I'm sure this is the reality for many me…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 12:55 PM
16

I stumbled upon the red pill subreddit at 19-20yrs old, read the sidebar material, then spent a solid year being a red pilled fuck boy testing out some of its ideas, keeping what worked for me and disregarding the rest. I learned that lust for women is more emotional/psychological so I awkwardly fumbled through trying to hit those common triggers until I wasn't awkward or fumbly anymore. It was a relatively quick process because it was working instantly and it created a positive feedback loop wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 01:50 AM
9

If we're assuming the best of them, they see it as part of the compromise and give-take nature of a relationship. In their minds they're willing to do things they don't particularly enjoy like plan fun dates or provide emotional support because it's all worth it in the grand scheme of things, so they want the woman they're with to be the same way. If we're assuming the worst of them, they're just mad and want the world to be mad too lool
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 12:41 AM
39

No. Most people want their lovers to feel genuine lust for them. If it's fake and inauthentic duty sex, then the magic isn't there. A lot of the men here who complain about women lusting after so called chads is just frustration and venting, they don't reasonably expect women to fake lust or passion for men they're not attracted to. The frustration is with themselves. When I was younger, I was furious at my complete inability to inspire lust. I was great at forming friendships with women, and ro…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 12:01 AM
5

Nah, but girls who enjoy clubbing will tell you it is lool A lot of women who don't like your boundaries will accuse you of being controlling, insecure, manipulative, misogynistic. It doesn't mean you actually are those things. There's nothing controlling about stating "This behaviour makes me feel deeply uncomfortable. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who does it." You're making your boundary known, and you're giving her the opportunity to decide if she wants to respect it or n…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 08:14 AM
–

There's nothing more masculine than a crazy straw and if you're not using one, the psyop is working. Wake up, men.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 02:01 PM
8

Bluepillers do care about self-improvement. Blue pilled men are all about being kind, accommodating, non-threatening, considerate, chivalrous, honourable. All traits that require a conscientious effort to not be selfish, but self-sacrificing. It doesn't always work for them when it comes to attracting women, but that's only because they're misguided. The effort, drive, and ambition is still there. Redpillers obviously care about it. You're right in that people in general only care about results.…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 01:52 PM
21

You've touched on a good point, cheating is kind of socially acceptable, even though culturally we pretend it isn't. It's always going to hit hard when it happens, because betrayal can only come from people you trust. Unfortunately if you want a monogamous relationship, you have to take that risk. If a person could be compelled to cheat, then they were always going to anyway. It was only a matter of time. One advantage in a culture that doesn't socially shame it so harshly, is that it's a easier…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 01:58 PM
1

It was for me when I was younger. I wanted to love someone despite their flaws, and I wanted someone to love me despite mine. I had this romantic notion that together, we'd soften life's hardships, and embellish its beauty.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 01:36 PM
–

You can do whatever tf you want in a relationship man, even play that tit for tat game. Personally I don't like to do it though, because it just makes the relationship adversarial and hostile, which will definitely make her not want to fuck. If you're not getting enough sex, then maybe that relationship just isn't for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 10:27 PM
3

The powers that be are stressed about how the internet disrupts the social contract because when everyone subscribes to their own little pockets of wrong information on social media, it disrupts their ability to maintain a 'one true narrative' and keep society ticking along smoothly. Historically, a large population of angry young men has always destabilized the societies they live in, so they're probably keeping an eye on the manosphere for that reason. Imagine if a sizeable chunk of men were b…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 09:22 PM
16

I think they value both for different reasons. Guy 1 is exciting, fun, and activates all the tingles and feelings. He's a thrill. Guy 2 is safe, comfortable, secure, and reassuring. Good and trustworthy for the long haul. The problem is guy 1 brings feelings of anxiety and uncertainty, which is partly why he's fun in the first place. And guy 2 isn't very emotionally exciting, so she'll feel more bored with him and take him for granted. Ultimately they most want a guy who strikes a balance betwee…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 09:14 PM
1

I don't think so. Reddit dudes don't approach because they listen to reddit women telling them they don't like it. And shy/awkward dudes were probably never going to approach in the first place, regardless. Other than that, I see plenty of it happening, and I do it as well. If you see someone you're attracted to, why not shoot your shot? I don't see any reason to just limit yourself to your social circle. Even when the approach doesn't lead to anything, I've made plenty of new friends I wouldn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 09:05 PM
2

Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. It's a contextual and intuitive guessing game, like most interactions with women since most of them don't communicate as explicitly as men do. She could simply be stating what she wants and nothing more. She could be seeking comfort and reassurance by testing to see if you pay attention to her wants and needs. She could be testing your ability to say no to her, especially if you're a bit of a doormat. People will ask more and more things of you while losi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 10:07 AM
–

TRP does talk about it, as something to be leveraged. Since most people are overweight, and it's easy not to be overweight, you have a big advantage in the dating market just by being in shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 12:33 PM
19

I'm glad you made this observation because I've always felt like this is something that only happens to me lmao When I'm actually interested girl's character, experiences, quirks, dreams, perspectives, basically the way she views the world and the culmination of who she is inside, and I show it. The dynamic shifts to a more friendly vibe and I definitely start to feel more like an emotional tampon, or a gay best friend to her. It's quite disappointing, I have to disengage from those relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 09:44 AM
–

You're absolutely right, and this is why it's better to simplify and just unashamedly go at this in the way you want to. Even if your approach is consistent every time. You'll be too fast for some, and too slow for others. Too needy, or too emotionally distant. Too sexually eager, or not sexual at all. People will always use shaming language when you're different from their expectations. Look at the venomous way people of opposing political ideologies talk about each other. Look at the way kids …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 10:01 AM
–

Self-actualization is a beautiful thing, well done on getting there.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 09:49 AM
9

I love this, the way people behave when they're arguing in bad faith, it's so fucking funny. It's not just prevalent in these dating subs, but it's everywhere, especially on the internet where we're all eager to type schizo rants. The sheer 0-100 always makes these types of arguments read like a joke, even though they're trying to be persuasive, you feel bad for them in a way because of how hard they miss the mark lmao "I love the color blue." "Oh, so you don't like the color red? Got it. So you…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 09:37 AM
–

You're completely right. If the situation was reversed, if there was an uneven demand for male attention by women, men would be just as picky. You know this because gigachad high value top 0.00001% peak masculinity bro men are picky too, especially when it comes to relationships. Dudes who complain about this are just mad they're part of an oversaturated supply, instead of a rare demand. Their moral arguments against women doing this are completely disingenuous, because most human beings behave …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 09:22 AM
–

Great insight and perspective, this is the kind of introspection that helps people make peace with themselves and their demons.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 09:02 AM
1

I see it everywhere, all the time, and it's absolutely heartbreaking. My first love cheated on me after 3 years together, and it really took the wind out my sails. I was so certain of our future together and 100% invested in her. It took me a further 2 years to get over it, so much pain and wasted time. I don't know if I could fully invest in love again to that same extent, knowing how long it takes me to bounce back from such a critical blow, especially as quite a sensitive man. I wish people w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 03:16 AM
–

Lots of people have some kind of cognitive dissonance between the image of themselves they have in their mind, and their real selves determined by their actions. A lot of the time, when a woman has told me she doesn't do hookups or casual, she'll end up doing that with me anyway. I think it's because they don't want to be judged as easy or slutty, or they got swept up in the moment and the fun and emotions. Because when I point this out, their explanations are usually some variant of "Oh this is…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 09:50 AM
2

Anecdotal evidence, but I have found social skills to be the thing that has given me most success with women. I'm 5'9" and average looking by all measures of attractiveness that blackpilled mfers use for men. But I'm charming, charismatic, interesting, and funny. Most women I sleep with are out of my league looks-wise, and no I'm not rich. When I used to slyly and insecurely ask probing questions about why they chose me over all the other 'chads' from our group that night, they usually said I ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:35 PM
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You don't need to tell them apart, just let some of them think you're a creep. You know you're not one, you know you have good intentions, so it doesn't matter if they believe you are. She could be in a bad mood, put off by some awkwardness on your end, or simply not be attracted. There are so many arbitrary factors to this that it's a waste of time trying to guess. Let her think you're a creep and giggle with her friends about it, and then move onto the next girl. Otherwise what else are you go…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 12:48 PM
–

It's got some staying power for as long as women continue to reward it. Lifting, maintaining frame, cultivating an abundance mindset, ignoring her words but listening to her actions, prioritizing your own ambitions regardless of judgement from others, giving her a cocktail of emotions to enjoy both good and bad, developing style and charisma etc etc... will always be useful advice. The state of TRP in 2023 and beyond is more blackpill-y that it has ever been. Any red pill dudes who discovered it…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 05:14 PM
46

In my experience, it's a real mixed bag. Some people are so obsessed with their loneliness that literally anything is better than nothing, while others genuinely do prefer solitude. People are wired differently. I personally prefer being alone to being in a bad relationship, because a bad relationship feels stifling, like you're trapped and there's no way out. There's a hopelessness to it that the company and the sex doesn't remotely make up for. But with solitude, it's mostly peace and tranquil…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 02:23 AM
3

You always date within your league, your league is what you're able to get. Sure, you see fat as fuck goblin-looking dudes with beautiful women. But maybe that dude is wealthy, has status, and that woman has a side order of mental health problems. It all balances out in the end. The market determines your value. Your league is what you're able to attract.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 07:58 PM
26

I certainly wouldn't want to stay in a marriage if my wife wanted a divorce, no matter what silly 'ick' she might've gotten as a reason for it at worst, or a genuine incompatibility at best. Why stay with someone who's not as willing to try and fix things as you are? A desire to fix a rocky marriage should be intrinsically motivated by both parties, not extrinsically. Otherwise there's just going to be more resentment and hardship. Ultimately I think marriage is a relic of the past. It served to…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 07:55 PM
1

There's nothing creepy about telling a girl you think she's pretty fairly quickly, or inviting her out somewhere. It's normal. You're letting her know you're attracted to her, and not just trying to make friends. Based on how receptive she is, you can usually figure out if she's attracted to you as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 06:52 AM
2

That's a good attitude, I'll try it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 11:57 PM
12

Just be real with the women you're actually interested in for a relationship, and actively open yourself up to meeting lots of new people. Increases your odds of finding someone who's right for the unmasked you. In the meantime, you can always pull out the mask for the ones you don't see long-term potential in, whenever you'd like a flirt, or some company. At least that way it's fun and playful, and you're not touch-starved lmao This is how I'm dealing with it rn, I'll let you know if I figure s…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 08:41 PM
32

This was the bane of my existence when I was younger lmfao I was the shy, sensitive, sweet man who wanted to be with the shy, sensitive, sweet women. But as you can imagine, they didn't want me. When I realized this, I started acting confident, nonchalant, emotionally distant, and prioritized literally everything else over my time with them. Suddenly, they were all over me. I got what I wanted, but I was having to wear a mask, so those relationships felt lonely and hollow. Now idk wtf to do sinc…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 08:17 PM
2

I think we're talking about different scenarios, but we are both right. I see that happening too, some people want the girlfriend/boyfriend privileges without the responsibility/commitment. People are messy and there are all sorts of constantly changing factors at play when it comes to emotions. Keep being transparent and communicative, it's the best thing we can all do to avoid hurting each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 01:40 AM
2

It's just jarring because it feels like your friend is suddenly being insanely rude to you out of nowhere, for no reason. To her, all those pent up feelings have been building for a while, but to you it's the sudden shock and surprise of a friend going bananas on you and being disrespectful for no good reason. Ultimately I just let them believe those things about me and then stop seeing them, maybe the anger makes it easier for them to get over me lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 01:32 AM
10

There's a lot of that going on too, I know plenty of dudes who are too scared to outright say they're looking for casual only because they think it'll scare women off, so they pull moves like that. However in my case, and u/harmonica2's, even if you're explicit as can be about only being interested in casual, lots of women will still try to paint you as a manipulator if they later develop unrequited feelings. Rejection is a delicate thing and people who are sensitive to it can go absolutely bers…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 01:20 AM
11

If you make your interest known fairly early on, it doesn't hurt. The mistake most dudes make is they withhold that info from the girl, and proceed to be friends with her in the hopes that it will develop into something more. This just creates pain and confusion later on for everyone. If you're into a woman, just make it known. That way, if she's not interested, it'll be so much easier for you to tell if you're actually interested in being friends with her, or if you were just slipping into the …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 01:10 AM
19

This has been my experience too. Sometimes they just catch feelings, or initially believed they were okay with casual, for any number of reasons, and then try to pivot things into a relationship when they can't take it any more. Which is fair enough tbh, feelings change. It's only annoying when they try to retroactively paint you as some puppetmaster-manipulator-stringer-alongererer, despite you being explicit about FWB only the whole time. People lash out when they're hurt though, doesn't make …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 01:03 AM
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Exactly, there's a world of difference between someone having a little lapse in judgement, and someone who's chronically paranoid.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 12:40 AM
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Yes, me too. If someone's introspective enough to understand the patterns their traumatized brain falls into, what triggers them, and is actively developing decent coping mechanisms, I am generally a lot more forgiving and lenient.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 12:32 AM
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It would depend on how long we've been together, if they have a history of trauma, their willingness to work on their trust issues, how easy they are to reassure, etc. I'd have a lot more patience with someone who's selective about their relationships, has been cheated on in the past, and is just wounded by that. Than I would with someone who's a serial monogamist, or someone who's had a lot of 'situationships' The latter would make me worry they're the one who's cheating, and they're projecting…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 12:22 AM
13

A lot of the "men age like fine wine, we're all gonna slam puss in our 30s bro$ we're all gonna make it" vibe is cope and fantasy. It's only true if you're actively working on it. It doesn't just magically happen like a lot of dudes in red pill spaces pretend to believe. If you spend your 20s bimbling around, making mistakes, drowning in the deep end of life, figuring out how to get your health, social skills, and finances in order, I think your 30s will be a breeze because of that trial by fire…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/23 10:54 PM
76

Some people emphasize with lonely people, others don't. This isn't a gendered thing. You're right about women losing attraction to pitiful men, but plenty of them will still empathize, especially if they're kind. They just won't want to fuck you, because it's not attractive. You said it yourself. You've felt sorry for pitiful women in your life, and treated them well, but you'd never consider pursuing a relationship with them, no matter how much they'd want it, because you're simply not attracte…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 11:26 PM
3

Up until recently I've had very few friends, so I started going out by myself to bars and mostly hobby groups. I then invited the people I got to know through these to other stuff. Built a network to try and get as many opportunities as possible. And most of the women I've been seeing have been like friends of friends of friends, through this. This has been good for me because I'm not really into the bar or club scene, so I could bond with the women there who, like me, were only there for their …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 10:59 PM
18

You just have to date anyway, in spite of them. All of us, men and women, have these types of thoughts when we start to like someone, so it's fairly normal. You'll only self-sabotage if you allow them consume you, which'll look like seeking too much reassurance from the girl you like, or keeping her at arms-length emotionally, to either soothe or avoid pain respectively. I haven't figured out what to do with them yet, though. For now, I just try to observe them when my mind throws them at me. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 06:38 AM
57

It's because as people live life and endure some negative experiences, they become embittered and resentful, both men and women. And the internet is such an easy, convenient place to vent those frustrations. But it's difficult, for most people, to sympathize with someone so full of hate and bitterness. Look at the TwoX and TRP subs. Once you get past your initial reaction of the hateful shit they say about your gender, you ultimately realize there are just a lot of people in the world who have h…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/23 07:37 PM
63

Personally I'm not into it for a relationship, but I don't mind for casual. My gut and experience tells me these types of women are going to be emotionally chaotic, overly passionate, and needlessly argumentative. I'm more attracted to dainty, serene, and graceful women because they make me feel more secure, like we can build something long term because her emotional state doesn't feel as much of a transient whirlwind. These fiery badass girls can love you one minute then hate you the next based…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 04:00 AM
–

People in general will blame everyone but themselves for their own problems, no surprises here. If you have valuable help to offer, try to reserve it for the people who actually want to be helped. It gives you more peace of mind, you won't find yourself as annoyed at these people anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 10:53 PM
5

This dating game used to piss me off to no end, because it's a pointless stalemate and a massive waste of time for everyone. Here's how I solved it. I take on the emotional 'risk' and do the initial chasing. I show a lot of interest and be honest about how I feel. Then I cool it off for a bit, and give them a turn to chase me back. I want to see if they're actually interested in me, or just enjoying the attention and validation I give them. If they don't return the chase, I'll just move on. I've…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 10:50 PM
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I really resonated with this post man. I'm the same age as you, and we've have led very similar lives. Childhood trauma, becoming the fixer, giver, being nice, sweet, sensitive, and emotional, and having it be a detriment to dating. When I was 19-20 I did just what you're thinking of doing, becoming toxic. I went full red pill. Admittedly, I rapidly started seeing more dating success, and for the first time in my life women were finally interested in me. Naturally, this became quite the addictiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 09:42 AM
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It's not a women thing, some people just believe they're better than others. Even if they have 0 evidence for it. The reason why it feels like women do it more, is because it's more socially acceptable for women to express disdain for men, than it is the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 03:28 AM
2

They do share, but it makes them feel anxious. They say they don't want to share, but the fact they're sharing despite that is demonstrative of a willingness to share, even if they're not happy about it. With a lot of women, I've explicitly stated I'm not looking for anything more than casual. They agree to this, and then when they catch feelings later they'll push for exclusivity. I tell them that's not what I want, they're understandably upset, but then continue to hookup with me on the side. …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 03:13 AM
2

There is is no issue with anyone, I have no disdain nor resentments. The game is the game and I'm just a sensitive man. When hookup girls want me to play the patient boyfriend material game for them, I simply move on, or I switch to the red-pill tactics that they respond to. Because I only want to be in a relationship with a girl who's relationship-oriented. It feels safer and more secure. I don't desire relationships from girls who are open to hookups, but that doesn't mean I hate them, I just …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 12:26 AM
3

I don't know. In the past some women have been lukewarm about me one day, but then extremely eager for me another. I think if you pass a particular girl's baseline level for attractiveness, she'll later be more or less attracted to you depending on random mood fluctuations.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 12:01 AM
2

How do you expect desire to be communicated beyond sex? If what you want is exclusivity even if there’s no sex yet, just communicate that need rather than expecting someone to know what you need to feel comfortable. I do. Precisely because of the upsetting feelings that come up. If she doesn't want to be exclusive, I don't resent her or anything, I simply move on. I may be upset about it, but I don't take it out on her, it's not her fault. ​ I’d argue that having sex early on when you are trying…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 11:57 PM
5

A lot of what men here label dishonesty is really just women wording things gently. Which is what they're raised to do because it makes them look graceful and sweet, and reduces the risk of some unhinged dude going apeshit on them. "He's too nice." "I just don't feel a spark." Are both gentle, graceful, and safe ways of expressing disinterest. Unfortunately, if you're a little bit autistic, or sheltered like I was, it's difficult to interpret the meanings of these gentle let-downs. Which is why …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 11:20 PM
1

I think you're right about that. I definitely turn to my female friends when I need a more sensitive touch to however I'm feeling. Sometimes you need your bros to tell you straight and harsh what you're doing wrong and what you need to fix, but other times you need to be emotionally validated and treated gently. Women are generally better at this due to cultural conditioning. The problem is, touch-starved lonely dudes will mistake this level of tenderness for romantic interest, and then get mad …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 11:11 PM
2

Is having sex your only definition of success? No, not at all. But a huge component of a relationship for me is sexual desire. If I don't feel like she wants me sexually, just as I want her, it makes me feel insecure. Because I start thinking "Why can't I drive her crazy like she drives me crazy? Why can't I ignite her passion like other men can?" If she sleeps with other guys quickly, but makes me wait. That makes me feel like she doesn't desire me as much as she desired those other dudes. Whet…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 11:06 PM
3

They'll usually PM or chat people directly, if they're moved by the post, because they know a public comment or post would send a horde of horny unhinged internet mfers directly at 'em.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 10:36 PM
5

A lot of the 'women' there are scammers preying on loneliness. But there are some who genuinely feel lonely, to varying degrees. They'll get a ton of comments and PMs so that'll give them a good boost for a few days, for a lot of them that's all they were looking for. A lot of them also explicitly are only interested in making friends with other women, because they're smart and they know how creepy and unhinged dudes can be on the internet. And there's a lot who vent their frustration at how eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 10:33 PM
2

Because women seem to give sex more easily to men who exhibit red pill behaviours. And I was always worried about spending weeks getting to know a girl, both of us getting emotionally invested in each other, only to later find out we're sexually mismatched. All of the sweetheart kind considerate boy behaviours my mom, aunts, and sisters instilled in me never resulted in much success with women. Because these women would see me as boyfriend material, and wait for weeks before sleeping with me, wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 10:16 PM
10

You're absolutely right. But here's the thing, many of these men complaining about their loneliness aren't actually interested in solving it, especially online. I was feeling lonely a few months ago, because I wasn't being social and actively ignoring people around me. I went into the /r/lonely subreddit for some company. I found hundreds of posts full of dudes despairing at how lonely they are, and lamenting at how they have no one to talk to. But every single post that was titled something lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 09:59 PM
3

Nah, I actually think these men have an advantage, if they can somehow find a masculine figure to act as a surrogate father. I was raised by a single mother, with plenty of aunts and sisters around. Naturally, this gave me quite the feminine temperament as I grew up, which wasn't attractive to women in the slightest. But when I learned how to be more masculine, I found that I had the best of both worlds. I realized I could be sweet and sensitive boyfriend material, but also be the red-pilled fuc…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 07:55 PM
4

You're right, but this isn't a uniquely gendered thing. Everyone is always trying to influence your behaviour based on what they approve/disapprove of. When I was a kid, my parents said I was well-behaved, polite, and mature for my age, because I sat in my room all day, not bothering anyone or doing anything. Then when I climbed trees, got into scrapes with other boys, or came home late, suddenly it was all "You're reckless, disrespectful, and foolish." because I caused them a bit of anxiety. Sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 02:59 PM
1

Good point, but sometimes it can be hard to tell if she's chasing because she actually desires you, or if it's the anxiety of you slipping away being exciting and sparkly to her. She may just feel like she's on the backfoot, and wants to re-flip the script again to feel better. It can be hard to tell in those early stages. It doesn't matter if you just want hookups, but it does if you're assessing her for a potential relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 02:38 PM
9

That's the real reason why it's so infectious, not because it simply indoctrinates men with nonsense. But because it actually works, which'll of course turn any hopeless young man into a blind follower of all its doctrine, regardless of how true or false it is. If he's lived a life of 0 dating results, and then suddenly starts getting plenty results shortly after learning about the red pill, it's going to be hard to convince him of its uselessness. When RP concepts are laid out and discussed so …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 01:31 AM
6

That would certainly be nice, right? I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 12:06 AM
5

I do. That's one way I deal with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 12:04 AM
9

You're right. But I suppose me switching up when I'm going to be a fuckboy vs a sweetboy could also be construed as dysfunctional behaviour. Sometimes I think the solution is to hard commit to the sweet man I actually want to be at heart, and screen hard for equally sweet women who'd appreciate that. But at the same time, it's so easy to deploy the RP tactics that make so many women pine for you, you feel like a fool not to use them. I imagine some of the women who give it all up for some dudes …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 11:59 PM
14

I'm naturally quite sweet, sentimental, accommodating, and attentive. A lot of these red-pilled mfers would call me blue-pilled. Some women, when they've clocked this about me, want to take things slower because they believe there might be something real to this relationship. I know this is the case because when I began to withdraw from them, they chased hard. Then with these very same women, I also tried a full red-pill fuckboy mode approach, and they were keen to sleep together right away. The…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 11:41 PM
3

Very good analogy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 08:20 PM
2

I wouldn't feel anything because I know this guy doesn't have the right perspective. I wouldn't even talk to him about it after he expressed that, because I'm not going to learn anything about how to avoid abusive women in the future, and he's just going to feel like he's missing out on something, when he really isn't. It would just be a completely non-productive conversation lmao because neither of us could offer the other any kind of insight, I'd just go back to shooting the shit and being bro…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 08:19 PM
2

They're everywhere but many of them typically don't think of themselves as mentors, or advertise any form of mentorship in their behaviour, because they don't see themselves that way. I worm my way into informal 'mentorships' all the time with men older and more experienced than me in whatever it is I'm trying to learn. I think most men out there enjoy giving that opportunity to some young, spritely up-and-comer who's eager to learn. 1. Because it makes them feel important and respected, and 2. …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 08:14 PM
1

My problem with it is the opposite of yours, I think the reason why the red pill is relevant is because it does work. I was a socially awkward doormat of a young man, when I stumbled upon the red pill and started applying it, I had more success with women than I ever had before, to the point where I actually got sick of having sex at the peak of that phase, because it started feeling like a chore. Nowadays I'm not so into it because I'm too blue pilled and soft at heart to be happy in that kind …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 08:06 PM
–

Have you ever jokingly flirted with your boys, because it's funny? Do you ever jokingly flirt with old ladies, telling a 60 year old woman she doesn't look a day older than 23 just to humour her? Do you find yourself more open and loving with people when you're a little drunk? When I was younger I used to do all these things, but when I was talking to women I was actually interested in, I would fumble and stutter and go quiet, or tone down the jokes and jabs out of fear of offending or being cre…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 06:35 AM
–

Surely it's preferable to be single than to be in a relationship you don't want to be in? Wouldn't you feel terrible being with someone you're not really into? You'd likely not be behaving how you truly want to behave, and making all sorts of compromises you don't truly believe you need to make, just to keep that relationship afloat. This'll not only make you feel trapped, but it'll also erode your self-respect, and following that, self esteem, because you're not living in congruence with how yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 06:24 AM
1

I did this when I was around 19yrs old, freshly red-pilled and doing all the other generic self-improvement stuff too. Before that, I was an overweight basement-dweller who always came across as weird and autistic. A lot of those dates were with women I wasn't especially attracted to, but who I thought were okay looking. The goal at the time wasn't to find love or get laid, it was to develop my severely lacking social skills, learn how to flirt, and harden myself to the fear of rejection. It was…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 02:55 PM
12

I can't give you step-by-step advice because most of it is too probabilistic, contextual, situational, and intuitive, with some luck in the mix too. It's something you develop subconsciously over time. That's not a reassuring answer, I know, but here's how you can practically develop that sense. Like learning to ride a bike, you fall one way at first, then when you try to correct your balance, you overcorrect and fall the other way. But eventually, after many falls, you learn how to balance. And…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 03:35 AM
12

What she's saying is true and your concern is real but it's fairly easy to calibrate, you just have to spend some time dating. Initially in my dating, I was seen as the sexless automaton gay best friend, I then overcorrected and became seen as the overly eager sex pest, but then I found the right balance after that. It's just something you have to get a feel for over time. Took me only a few months but I went on a lot of dates, think multiple a week. Don't just try something for 5 dates then say…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 02:37 AM
5

In pillspeak, date a couple SMV 'points' beneath you. If you're a 5, date 4s and 3s. Women generally like to date across and up. If you're a 5, other 5s would date you, but they'd also be trying with the 6s and 7s. However, if you're a 5 and she's a 3, there's a better chance she'll feel lucky to have you, and be more enthusiastic about the relationship. You have to be honest to yourself about what you are though, not in your own personal opinion, but in the opinion of society at large. You may …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 02:26 AM
4

You've outline what the red pill can be at it's worst, and you're right by the way, however let me balance that with what it can be at it's best. At it's best, it teaches otherwise socially and psychologically oblivious men how female attraction actually works. I was a dumb kid at age 18-19. I genuinely believed if I just be as nice and accommodating as I could possibly be, women would like me. I was raised by a single mom, her sisters, and my grandmother, this is what they told me. I wanted to …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 02:12 AM
4

Partially, but it's also in your head. If you're approaching from the mindset of trying to prove yourself to her in some way, in order to get her interest, you're going to feel like the interaction is somewhat imbalanced. Because you're essentially offering your attention for free, while she hasn't yet attempted to prove herself to you. It feels like you're giving something (your attention and interest), hoping for something in return (hers), but the outcome is uncertain, it's not a sure-thing, …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 01:44 AM
–

Great, every relationship I've had was like this. That level of devotion is so romantic, especially when you're used to doing most of the legwork in the early dating phase, in terms of pursuing and providing things. It's such a vulnerable, and frankly submissive, form of love on her part. The continuous nature of it proves to you this feeling is not just another one of her many fleeting emotions, but a constant in her being. It makes your life easier, both practically and emotionally. The sacrif…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 07:55 AM
15

It's difficult to quantify at the level of the individual, but if you zoom out and generalize, it's pretty easy to spot things the majority are attracted to. While an average of a given sample size is often just a caricature of a person, it's still useful for people to know. Because if they're not naturally attractive themselves, they can try to integrate some generally attractive qualities to at least make themselves a little more attractive than they were to begin with. For a man this involves…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 07:35 AM
–

I love them. I'm trying to hit up Aunt Fanny from Robots.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 07:20 AM
1

I'm a man, I love doing all that sentimental romantic shit. The flowers and the chocolates themselves couldn't be more meaningless to me, but I adore the reaction they get. It feels good to give love, in the same way it feels good to be generous with anything. I love seeing how emotionally moved women can get about these things because when she's feeling loved, she looks at the whole world through this lens of tingly magic that I just can't see myself, because that's not who I am, but I can shar…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 07:17 AM
10

Women are horny as fuck. It's just the consequences for them expressing it are more dire. If you're in a room with a woman who trusts and feels safe with you, you'll hear her blabbering away about how horny she is, even if you're just friends. Act like you're non-judgemental, even if you are (I certainly am), and people open up the darkest corners of the minds to you, for no reason. You'll see women are just as much filthy animals as we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/23 04:44 PM
–

There are different types of value. Regardless of what anyone, even you, says or does, it's the 'market' that determines your value in whatever area you're trying to quantify. If you are a sexually desirable man, that will be reflected by the number of women who are interested in having sex with you. Affirmations and "lifting each other up" can be good for some people's mental health and self-esteem, but it doesn't mean those things are actually true. Every group of women will call their fat fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 05:11 PM
2

Girls just wanna have fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 06:48 PM
16

You're right, but I think a lot of the dudes looking for drastic societal changes are just complaining and whining, because none of their proposed solutions are ever realistic. I know when I'm mad I find it so easy to say "if only people/society was X way, everything would be so much better!" Unconsciously, all I'm doing is imagining an unrealistic scenario that suits my individual wants and needs specifically, like a child screaming "it's not fair!" when something doesn't go their way. You can …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 06:33 PM
7

Everyone is guilty of this, but in my experience women especially so. This isn't a dig at women or anything, just what I've seen anecdotally. There's often a world of difference between what we say we want, think we want, and actually want. There's all sorts of reasons why this stuff rarely lines up. Maybe they're trying to look good, avoid looking bad, or maybe they're just confused. Maybe they wish they wanted what they say they want, and are trying to consciously align themselves to that. How…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 06:02 PM
2

No, but I think almost anyone would be willing to cheat under the right circumstances, so I feel as though I have little choice. Being single, I see couples cheating all the time. All it takes is one little argument with her boyfriend and a night out with the girls, and she's going home with a different man. All it takes is someone who's new, hot, and exciting. All it takes is someone who's slightly better in some way. Men do this just as much, cheating feels like one of those things everyone pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 01:45 PM
13

In my experience, all of the women who've approached me have been very outgoing and assertive, which is not my type. There's nothing wrong with that by the way, I'm just more attracted to mousy women. I think those are the typical characteristics for anyone who regularly approaches and enjoys success with it, man or woman, you gotta be a gung-ho go-getter. When men say they want to be approached, I think they're the shy types, or they find approaching difficult and anxiety-inducing, so of course…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 08:48 PM
1

You nailed it. This is why so many of these discussion result in men and women screaming past each other, because neither can truly understand the other's perspective. When you at least try to understand, it becomes quite clear how you can make yourself into an oasis in the desert, or an island with freshwater in the ocean.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 06:39 PM
–

You can implement game theory like it's a life philosophy, everywhere, not just in dating. It's extremely effective if you're good, but it's also just as isolating. When you never show your cards to anyone, you can't connect properly because you're being inauthentic 24/7. The human part of you that wants to feel understood is locked away, not being given opportunities to be understood. It's fun to go full red pill game theory mode for a while, you feel like an emperor on some conquest, but after…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 11:22 PM
4

You're right, it seems like the men and women here deliberately try to misunderstand each other, and assume the worst about any benign little phrase someone says. I think this place attracts a lot of bitter and hurt people, so they want to lash out and lay 'gotcha!' traps, as you say. If it's not that, then it'll be someone proposing some radical cultural and biological shift in the way men and women value each other as dating prospects. You see a lot of men complaining about how they feel avera…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 11:00 PM
2

Absolutely, you and I think the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 01:33 AM
28

I've noticed this disparity in most of the progressive women I've dated. On paper, they want to believe in egalitarianism and depart from traditional gender roles. But in reality, they become undeniably excitable and tingly when you exhibit all the traditionally masculine behaviours. This hypocrisy used to annoy me so much, but it doesn't anymore. I think most people, men and women, want to feel accepted by whatever culture they find themselves in, so they'll parrot the culture's acceptable opin…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 04:59 PM
1

I do this shit too and then have the gall to wonder why I find building close connections especially challenging lmfao
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:31 PM
1

You can build a social circle with relative ease, but people on here don't want to go through the effort of doing it. Join any club and you've instantly got a social circle. Yes, you'll have to spend some weeks building those connections and friendships, and you're not gonna be particularly close with anyone for a while, and it'll but hard, but you've established a social circle just like that. All you have to do is let it grow. If you're nice to be around, you'll have plenty of chances to make …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 02:48 AM
1

In my case it was a gift. The frustration and despair forced me to make myself as attractive as I could because I saw no alternative. If the only way I'm ever going to fulfil these desires is by being attractive, I guess I have to do that. What else am I gonna do? I got a haircut, got in the gym, made some money, and went social butterfly mode for a couple years. I was a pudgy unkempt basement dweller before that, people regularly asked me if I was autistic. Men will move mountains if they're ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 06:51 AM
1

I talk about sex too much. Lots of women either feel objectified by it, or that I'm a desperate guy who just wants any woman. The reality is I do it because I don't want to be stuck playing the 'taking things slow' game if I know she'll play the 'sleep together on the first night' game. Personality-wise, I've noticed I always prefer the girls who want to take things slow, so I focus my efforts on them. But I fear spending weeks and months getting locked into each other and loved up, just to find…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 06:35 AM
2

There are definitely a lot of people like that roaming around, just rawdogging life in that state lmao. They especially love the "Treat them mean, keep them keen" game, the first hint is usually if dating them feels like a race to show who cares less. You feel a little sorry for them because they're obviously carrying trauma, but at the same time, it's no fun being close with them because they love you more the worse you are to them, and less the better you are. For now, I'm just staying out of …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 08:44 PM
5

Masculinity is tricky these days because a lot of typically masculine traits are being branded as toxic in mainstream discussions. I'm not talking about actual toxicity either, people behaving poorly is obviously toxic, I'm talking about basic traits like boisterousness, competitiveness, assertiveness, high libido, being pragmatically interested in things and outcomes, as opposed to people and emotions. The culture in the west at the moment has a lot of positive messaging for women, and a lot of…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 02:51 PM
9

This was a big dilemma for me when I was younger and learning how to talk to women. I'd notice "Treat them mean, keep them keen." would be so much more effective than being a nice, kind sweetheart, and this insight was something of a mini-heartbreak for me. My natural inclination is to be caring, empathetic, affectionate, sweet, and accommodating, especially towards the people I love. It feels nice to make the people you care about happy, so why not make your best effort? But you're right, your …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 02:25 PM
2

It's not the acts they're attracted to, it's the traits behind them. Committing serious crimes involves bravery, ambitiousness, confidence, assertiveness. And getting away with them over and over again displays competence and strength. These are all the masculine traits the vast majority of women are attracted to. A good, law-abiding man with the exact same set of traits is just as attractive too. It's not tied to crime or morality, it's just evolutionarily advantageous to have a man like that l…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 09:27 PM
1

If “personality” is more important than looks, then why do people debate about whether or not it matters when it comes to dating? Everyone cares about looks but they don't want to lose social points by appearing shallow by saying it, so they say the noble thing. "Looks don't matter." Some use the better statement "Looks aren't everything." Realistically, everyone looks for both. ​ Why do people complain about “conventional beauty standards” or pretty privilege? Seeing beautiful people loved by a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 06:43 PM
15

Or just the misfortune of being raised by parents with bad social skills. Yes, the reality behind a socially awkward person is sympathetic and tragic most of the time. However, our primitive animal brains don't recognize this, so socially awkward behaviours make us uncomfortable and suspicious, even if we rationally know they're a product of bad luck and trauma. ​ And you know the whole "indicative of multiple negative traits" is also said of fatness yet women have been fighting tooth and nail t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 06:15 PM
–

Sexual attraction is a given, it's not enough in and of itself to commit to someone, but it's a pretty important qualifier, otherwise wouldn't you rather just be single? If you're a man who's attracted to women, then sex is an experience only women can give you. You can get companionship from friends and family, emotional support from your bros, and your female friends will even nurture you a bit, so if you enter into a relationship with someone you're not sexually attracted to, what makes that …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 03:13 PM
37

It's because social awkwardness is indicative of a lot of negative traits. Incompetence, neuroticism, desperation, low status within the group. It can also come off as snobby and abrasive to some people. Imagine you're a 'normie' in a social setting, everyone around you is all smiles and eye contact and asking questions, but then there's that 1 dude who won't look you in the eye, gives brief 'yes no' answers, is fidgety, and has a vacant expression because he's deep in his head neuroticizing abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 02:06 PM
1

Yes and no. It often seems like the men and women around here don't even like the opposite sex. I can't tell if that's really the case, or if people are just frustrated at their dating problems. If it's the latter, what good is blaming others for their lack of success, instead of trying to address the problems themselves? It would be nice if there was a place where both men and women could have frank discussions together about how attraction really works, through the lens of evolutionary psychol…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 11:34 PM
5

I don't think this is a gendered thing, some people are just more sensitive than others. And I think the reason why it's particularly noticeable in men because men aren't 'allowed' to be sensitive in the way that women are. I'm a sensitive guy, and I have genuine traumas from similarly benign things like that. I don't do it on purpose, it's just the way I'm wired. Naturally I'm very neurotic, anxious, and overly-analytical. I think dudes like me are the reason the red pill garnered such a large …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 11:19 PM
4

It's not hard at all, I'm fairly extraverted, but I never feel fully connected to anyone in the way I feel they connect with each other. I'm charming and charismatic, people are interested in me and want to be close. But I never feel understood in the way people tell me I make them feel understood, even if I try to be more expressive and deliberate in my general way of being. I notice most people tend to gravitate towards a group of peers who are similar to them in a lot of ways. I've never had …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 02:56 AM
25

It absolutely makes things 100x easier for you and any guy will experience this with his very own soul if he just commits to a fitness journey. If you're shy and timid, boring and nice, or just a socially mis-calibrated autist, it will do wonders for you because you'll start to get at least some interest. Personality is a much bigger part of it, but you're right in that most people who say that seem to fool themselves into believing looks and attraction don't matter, and a lot of the time they h…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 09:36 PM
2

Men give each other hell for a lack of success with women because men are, generally speaking, naturally competitive. What do you think a man with a lack of experience and 0 ability to woo women signals to the people around him, on a primitive level? It's not a desirable, or difficult to obtain ability, to suck with women. Evolutionarily speaking that's quite a disadvantageous trait, why would men be praised for it? That's not useful to the individual or to the group, if anything it's antisocial…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 09:18 PM
1

Yes, because those traits are rare. Not everyone has them. They may come easy to the individual who possesses them. But the fact that not everyone has genetic gifts and innate talents means that the people who do are more valuable. They're special outliers, that's why they enchant us. When I say valuable, I'm not speaking from a place of morals and ethics - that's a different conversation, I don't believe some people are better than others based on these trivialities. However, I'm talking in ter…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 08:56 PM
6

It's better to be a living example of your wonderful principles, than to try and impose them on others. If your results are truly better, people will naturally want to follow. At no point are you not fighting for what you believe the best path is. By living your beliefs, you're not just empty words, and your outcomes will inspire others around you. This is how you create real meaningful change, it starts at the individual level and it's like a domino effect. Notice how the dude in the post faile…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 07:17 PM
4

It really is nothing more than a simple matter of ease. It's easy for a woman to sleep with a bunch of guys, but it's difficult for a man to sleep with a bunch of girls. People generally aren't impressed by things that come easy. That's it. Doesn't make it right or wrong, people will try to justify either position, with both good and bad reasons, but that's fundamentally why this phenomenon is so prevalent, even when you get social campaigns trying to change this perception. A man's justificatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 06:53 PM
4

I think that value system will inevitably see a return because it was so successful for thousands of years across cultures, it clearly works. However for our time and place, it's not the current way of the world. If you expect things to work one way, when they clearly don't, you open yourself up to a lot of unnecessary pain and misery because your expectations are grossly misaligned with reality. It's nice to sit around and dream about a perfect world, but everyone's perfect world is different, …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 06:27 PM
28

I saw that same post. The dude's position isn't wrong, but his mistake was expecting exclusivity when they literally met and fucked on the first date. I think it's important to have an awareness of what the norm is in the dating scene around you. If someone fucks on the first date, they likely do that with a lot of people, so you need to set your expectations accordingly. If you know what to expect, there's less chances of either party getting hurt. You can argue what you feel should be the mora…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 05:47 PM
1

She's all caught up in her feelings and being expressive about it, not hiding it. No rational or logical trains of thought will reassure her, only making her feel different feelings will. She's completely absorbed in the story of her own emotions, as if the present moment will never end, and she's in some kind of despair about it. It's silly and a little annoying to deal with at times, but it's ultimately authentic and pure.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 03:49 PM
3

Every woman I've been with has cried in front of me and sought reassurance and comfort, over things that seemed quite trivial and easily solvable to me. It always makes me like them more because they're letting their guard down and being authentic and present. Despite me thinking she's crying over nothing, to her in that moment she's crying over everything, and there's something sweet and uniquely feminine about that level of raw emotional indulgence. It's a sign of trust, and there's an innocen…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 07:34 AM
6

I see the point you're trying to make, but it doesn't make sense logically. The qualities we look for in friends vs lovers are two different things. It's not like your woman is just a friend you happen to also have sex with. You don't think about her like you would one of the boys. Romance is distinctly different from friendship, you'll show her parts of you the boys will never see. And a young, inexperienced women being wowed by a competent, experienced man is a tale as old as time. It's so bak…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 04:03 PM
11

You're right and anyone who's not just mad at women for not fucking can sense this. Otherwise men and women wouldn't both be so antagonistic towards each other. The "we're all the same, people are just people" attitude of the west is at odds with our biology so we're constantly trying to reconcile what society tells us vs what we actually observe around us about how people behave and who's valuable. Both men and women sense that discrepancy and they get confused and mad about it, whatever side t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 03:49 PM
-3

I suspect the reason you were able to remain steadfast in your approach to men, in spite of your friends' teasing, is because you were inspired by the results of the women who came before you. I think something will eventually be done, but unfortunately not through some great cultural awakening, but because birth-rates are dwindling. If a culture doesn't want to preserve itself, then the only ones that remain are the ones that value family, unity, and this attitude of service and sacrifice to on…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 03:39 PM
1

I've dated women from a few different cultures and backgrounds. All of them will dote on/serve me when they enter that crazy head over heels in love phase, but I've noticed western women experience more initial resistance to doing so. I think because of cultural conditioning, they're extremely worried about all those evil, evil men out there trying to take advantage, so they do their best to make sure every little exchange in the relationship is 'equal' and 'fair' and are reluctant to go all in.…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 01:53 PM
3

I'd love more direct rejections, that'd be awesome. I'd be able to spot patterns in the reasons why, and discern which ones are legitimate problems I need to work on, and which ones are just a lack of chemistry. You'd be able to refine this skill at a much quicker rate with far fewer rejections. However, I don't think this is a realistic expectation of women. Generally speaking, they're more conflict-averse than men, and more socially conscious. They don't want to rock the boat or open themselve…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 05:20 AM
4

cheers bro
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 10:49 PM
2

If ants could think and feel, I would love to see the various revolutions and uprisings that take place "to rid the anthill of evil and unfairness and build a brighter future." Because inevitably some little fella is going to feel shafted. Do you think it would be the same as all of human history? Where no matter what happens there's always a small ruling class governing over everyone else "but this time it's different and good, you can trust me."
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:20 PM
–

Fair enough brother, at least you keep it real.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:13 PM
–

Maybe you can like the people you do like a little more.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:11 PM
–

Adapt and overcome. That's what all things in the universe do :)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:11 PM
–

Regardless of rarity, the fact it occurs at all means the possibility exists. That's enough to keep trying. Now imagine you're a clean goblin, well-groomed goblin, socially-adjusted goblin, gymed goblin. Your odds go waaay up. You're bound to get some eventually.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:10 PM
24

I've always found it to be a very alienating feeling, in the past I used to get so twisted up about it. Why does everyone say one thing, but do another? Why do we collectively condemn and shame behaviours yet do those exact same things ourselves behind closed doors, or make excuses for why it's okay when we do it? Why does she want me more when I'm less kind and less sweet than I'd like to be with her? Why does she say she'd like me to be more vulnerable, yet is noticeably less excited about me …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:07 PM
–

Bro, I've seen short, fat, broke, goblin looking danny devito mfers out there in the world with beautiful women. The fact that that can even happen at all means there's always a way. There's always new ways to try things even if you think you've done everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 07:49 PM
51

You'll find that progressive women who are actually about it will try to rationally make themselves attracted to the whole equal partner thing, at least there's some credibility there. But deep down, you're right. I've always had one foot in the red pill. When I discovered it as a teen and started trying shit out, I was surprised at how that stuff actually works, and it's since given me this inner conflict. Even the most progressive women I've dated have absolutely enjoyed being made to feel sma…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 07:41 PM
–

Do the men and women here actually like the opposite sex? Everyone sounds so hurt and traumatized, so many threads can be reduced to "women bad, men bad, but women bad!!! men bad!!!!" And if it's not that, it's people proposing dramatic societal shifts where one or both genders just unanimously change their behaviour and desires in some unrealistic way. Are any of you dysfunctional neurotics (I include myself in this btw) actually taking the time to self-reflect and make yourself accountable for…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 07:02 PM
3

I don't think this is gendered, critiques about each other's preferences come from all sides. People just get mad if it seems hypocritical, or if the preferences make them feel insecure. At the same time, it's kind of a pointless exercise to state preferences, especially to someone who didn't already meet them before you met. Why would you tell a room full of sluts you only like modest, traditional women? Why tell a room full of short schlubby average dudes you want a tall, dark, handsome man? O…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 03:22 PM
3

Probably, eventually.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 02:34 PM
29

I feel like this at times, especially when I'm down. Most of the time I see it as nothing more than neuroticism though. Sometimes I feel like women don't view men as actual people, like they kinda see guys as a means to end to help them with stuff and entertain them, like a pet, in a weird way. But I also know lots of women feel the same way about men, so I think the real problem is that it's difficult for the two genders to relate to each other's experiences in life, so there's an empathy gap d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 07:32 AM
2

Listen bro, a pebble with immaculate rizz all-round could be superpill crimsonpill alfapill chad as fuckpill. Source: trust me bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 06:22 AM
1

Pillbro economist on the scene. Real. We're all gonna be $$$$$$ boys and girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 03:56 AM
0

I think social skills is the big one tbh. Looks and status have their roles, and having them makes things so much easier, but if you're smooth with it socially I think everybody subconsciously holds that in higher esteem than anything else, it tricks of our ancestral primitive cave brains. Influencing a group, making people feel seen and special, showing initiative, being funny, telling good stories, not quite following all the unspoken rules, not in an autistic way, but because you have such ke…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 03:49 AM
2

It's raw excuses on my part, and most other dudes here too whether they want to admit it or not. If I feel alone and bored, it's my own fault, for not doing something about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 03:25 AM
6

If she's in that 18-23 range and lives for the socialite lifestyle you might find her boring and lacklustre, despite her hotness. I notice younger women are more likely to be like this, easily wowed by exciting novel things and live for it 24/7. But maybe you're the same way, or maybe you like that for a casual relationship. Hard to find a reason not to tbh. If that's what you want, go for it. Some people will disapprove, but people will disapprove of all sorts of things you do anyway, might as …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 02:23 AM
3

It's true, I'm in my mid-20s and I haven't been approaching at all for well over a year. If I did, I'd be getting some for sure. I think the problem for a lot of young people is a lot of us are socially stupid and full of neuroticism due to growing up with unrestricted internet access. We're sooo passive. I see groups of people my age and under showing up to some social gathering, just to stick with their initial group of 4 they rolled in with, a lot of the time staring down at their phones too,…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 02:16 AM
1

I think most decently attractive women have been perved on by much older guys during their teenage years, so their criticisms are coming through this lens. Especially the ones who, at the time, believed they were so grown-up for having a much older boyfriend, with a car! I think these women feel kind of stupid about it when they grow up, realizing they'd been taken advantage of by some creep, during their most impressionable years, so they develop this bitter attitude towards age gaps and assume…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 04:47 AM
1

Some people may appreciate it, but I think deep down everyone sees through the fakeness of these sorts of campaigns, but they go along with it because they appreciate the good intentions, and like the idea of shaping the culture to appreciate them in some way. I mean if it works, you're handsome/beautiful without actually having to be handsome/beautiful. Great deal! Ultimately, it won't change anything. Unfortunately, if guys want above-average results, they have to make themselves into above-av…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 04:40 AM
1

You can try to inject friendlier words into the culture like this, and they'll work for a time, but inevitably it falls back on itself. The word 'retard' used to be an official medical term, now it's a derogatory insult. When I was at school, 'special' became the hot new version of that insult, because that's the word the teachers used for kids with learning difficulties. A better approach to this is to develop a sharp wit, because almost anything anyone calls you can be flipped into something p…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 04:34 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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