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View 1 posts and 47 comments by jalapeno-grill on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
28

jalapeno-grill/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 11:20 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Yeah fuck that. Just say “no” don’t budge. It sounds like something that will bite you in the ass later. I’m
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 02:58 AM
3

You will be asked about all sorts of assets you have jointly, what you know about hers, stocks, investments, etc…. Numbers are what will matter here. The current living situation of you and you ex. Where has the child been during this time. Ask this question “What can I do to protect myself at this point”. This question is extremely important. You are going to likely get a million recommendations- follow them perfectly.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/25 03:05 PM
6

Hell yeah man congratulations! It’s a journey that’s for sure. I am counting down for my closure too. I bet it feels great to get through the mud.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 07:53 PM
1

Money. It sounds like he is giving up more cash than he should. That’s a horrible thing, he needs to have some boundaries and financial is one. He maybe confused and feels like he needs to dump extra money that way to “keep his kids”. Kids are the most important thing to most men during a divorce. We will do just about anything. In his situation, her being in another country, he is grasping at straws and likely being used. It sounds like a shit situation. Either way, he needs to setup personal b…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 10:40 AM
1

That would make sense to me as long as he isn’t lying. He shouldn’t be over extending himself for her though. She seems like a monster.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 01:55 PM
2

I second this. He doesn’t want to be cut off from his kids. If she is in another country, she could do that real fast.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 01:56 AM
1

Hell yeah buddy! Congratulations and good for you! I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I really appreciate you sharing this. Sometimes the darkness seems to be infinite but reading these little stories every once in a while is a great reminder that we will all get through this with resilience.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 03:00 AM
2

Some folks go full retard.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 05:51 AM
1

Oh Jesus Christ this type of stuff boils my blood.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 07:38 PM
2

My advice would to focus on getting the divorce process started. Put your effort in that area, hit the gym, focus on work. Once you start messing around with women again it is a complete distraction. It can also make your life more complicated if you are actually wanting to get divorced. Don’t worry about wtf she is going with other men. Get that process started and once you are in a proper position to entertain that shit then do it. If an opportunity comes up (not you searching for it), hey, wh…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 04:33 PM
2

I will tell ya… encourage her to get the highest paying job possible. If you start a divorce process you will pay up child support and alimony (spousal support) at the highest dollar since she makes zero income. When she is making income, that’s lower.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 02:19 AM
14

In my state, you can petition the court to re-evaluate child support every 5 years (I think.. or is it 3). In any event, maybe that’s it. This is the first thing I think about is nefarious crap like that. She may be checking in on your company, position, things like that to see if she can bleed you more.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 02:15 AM
3

Hey man, go for it. Your a free dude who could always appreciate a woman buying you a drink 👌🏼
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 04:48 PM
6

I salute you bud. I’m getting there, the first months were hell. 8 months in now and it slowly has got better. Sometimes worse but never worse than the initial shock months. Good looking out and dropping a positive post like this!
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 04:54 AM
5

Congratulations man. Seriously. From myself and all the guys on this sub. I’m still waiting for my moment but I celebrate you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 07:15 AM
4

I’m right with ya bud ; first Xmas solo and all of that. But I will tell ya, reading this guys post realigned my brain. I’m just staying away from the booze today and tomorrow- that makes things much harder for myself. Merry Christmas man.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 03:51 AM
2

This is said time and time again. I didn’t do this and what an idiot I was - “it won’t happen to me”. She spent most of it. Paid off all her massive credit cards, furnished a new apartment and had it all setup. All to just drop the news, pay it all off and bounce. There isn’t anything you can do about it either. She could spend it all on gambling and you are screwed. If both names are in the accounts it’s community and bad decisions can happen and no one is held accountable. Just wait until she …
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 04:49 PM
7

Solid freaking post. Thank you for taking the time.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 02:43 AM
2

Yeah I would spend how you normally do. You can’t take cash out of a machine a whole lot, don’t buy crypto or other heavy investments which you haven’t done in the last, don’t “hide” money. Spend money on your credit card as you have, pay it off as you normally do. Don’t overthink it unless you are looking to do something “bad”. And if you are, don’t do it my friend this is not the time. You will have all sorts of people and their arms so far in your ass you won’t know which one is tickling you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 03:22 AM
5

This is exactly the way I would move too - with a slight adjustment. “Sure thing, if I give you cash from the 401k, the fees to do so are X, to have access to that 15k in cash now, you will end up with Y because that is 15k minus the fees”. Happy to cut you that check as long as everything is in writing and the court stamps the approval. Done and done. It is skinning the cat from either end. It still costs you 15k. But, if it were me, I would figure out that dollar amount, take out a loan and la…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 03:50 AM
2

For me she took everything she wanted and I came home to what was left. Then bought thousands of dollars of new shit on a joint checking account. I sent over a proposal for all the shit I wanted “the rest” plus half the shit she bought. We fought over it. Overall I’m not attached to “shit” but was looking at what I could sell and the value of a Craigslist price. I still got screwed but this is the story with most stuff. I would recommend coming up with your top 5 things you definitely want. Don’…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 03:30 AM
2

Of course happy to help! Looking back, I think there are a few things I would have changed. I tried to over think everything and come up with a “plan” for everything; trying to swallow the elephant whole. “Where should I live to keep the kids at the same school, what about the house, how to get things moving faster, all sorts of shit which I honestly had no control over. The reality was I needed to immediately focus on the short term, attempt to get through each day the best I could, do my best …
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 06:20 PM
3

I appreciate the recommendation. Will definitely read it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 01:01 AM
2

If you don’t want to wait the year (as you mentioned) research a Quit Claim Deed. No refi is needed and it can get done quick. Be careful though (I do not know much about them), but it might impact YOUR ability for another loan while she owns the property.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 03:52 AM
7

Literally everything in my life is starting over too. But, being a present father is really fucking important. You don’t want your boy growing up without you. So, you are going to have to figure it out. Don’t try to swallow the elephant whole. Take one day and week at a time. Focus on one thing at a time. If shit isn’t going well in (I don’t know, set a date in the future like 3 years), then make a different decision. But, anyone can do anything for 3 years. I can shovel shit for 3 years and am …
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 04:28 AM
6

Similar experience. Yup it sucks. I’m just going to suck it up because my kids are more important to me than what I want. That’s just me though, they need me like I need them. I don’t have any true advice but lean shoulder in and make the right decisions the best you can. You moved there knowing you can take care of shit and was planning on doing it anyways. Keep that same mindset. You just have one less person to take care of. Keep your head up. Try to think clearly.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 04:16 AM
1

A buddy of mines boy wanted some $200 shoes recently and asked him to buy them because he “never buys him anything”. He said “do you know I have given your mom $700 a month most of your life? You should tell her you know and to buy you the shoes”. He was wearing the shoes the next time he saw him. Of course it came with a shitty text message…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 07:11 PM
3

Yeah it’s an endless amount of bullshit. Keep your head up and do what you can to raise men and not boys. I hope it will pan out in the end for ya.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 07:05 PM
2

Yeah I mean that’s the thing… if you keep giving in - it’s going to be the same result. Have the convo with her you can’t be liable for her financial decisions. Tell your son what’s up and it’s nothing against him. Maybe he will understand even though mom will drag your name through the mud (again and again). That sucks
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 06:59 PM
1

Well from my standpoint, the only reason you should have to pay is if you both agreed on it beforehand. Not an after the fact “hey I made a financial decision for you”. That, is against the grain.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 06:54 PM
2

Yep and yep
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 12:37 AM
1

Fuck yeah bud - Def Leppard! Who cares who is there except you! Live it up, you’re the fucking man!
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 04:44 AM
1

Yeah bud. I will tell ya I had the same situation with a little boy too. “How can I get past this” is complicated. For me, I made mistakes strategically. Mentally, that’s another thing. One thing I will recommend is only think strategically. It’s over. You don’t like it or agree. It’s over. Let it happen. Then, get it over quickly. If you can do it as painless as possible (I’m talking financially) try to. But, pay an attorney for a couple of hours and get a real professional input. Push it with …
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 04:49 AM
3

Many states have a Child Support calculator. With that many kids you will want to run a few numbers to get an idea. https://orscsc.dhs.utah.gov/orscscapp/orscscweb/actions/Csc0002
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 12:24 AM
1

Yeah OP this is very key. Speak to a lawyer and get advise first hand. You will be setting a very clear pace for your long term outcome. Her having the house and the kids will have a very long term financial / custody impact on you. Think parenting time, alimony, and child support.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 11:03 AM
1

My situation she had her brothers show up while I wasn’t home and took everything she wanted. Left me with not a whole lot of useless shit. Then, came back a couple of days later to see furniture which “didn’t fit the aesthetic “ show back up. Attorney said it is all common property at this point and nothing can be done until a filing happens or judgment day. She can do whatever she (or you) wants. This includes spending money out of joint accounts and everything until something is officially fi…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 02:26 PM
2

This was a fantastic post bud - I really enjoyed reading it and will come back to it again. 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 03:51 AM
8

Yeah this is tough as hell. Honestly the biggest battle I went through too. There are a couple of things to keep in mind. 1. This is not the same person you married. This coldness, lack of feeling, not caring is part of the deal. She is done. Also, it’s a pretty normal defense mechanism. Also, I think it could be her trying to “make it easier” on you by acting this way - so you accept it. Some strange woman logic. Nothing you can say or do is changing your situation. Don’t even try. Instead, fin…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 01:57 AM
3

LFG!
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 12:39 AM
2

Yup. Life weights bro - start daily and start small. Don’t burn out and in a short period you will be lifting hard. Once you start getting into it you will no longer drink. When I started this it changed my life.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 09:46 PM
1

Hell yeah buddy. I love timepieces. Welp, I got a Tudor Pelagos 39 then decided it was a bit heavier than I could stretch the funds. Returned it, then went with one I’ve always wanted as an EDC and way within the reasonable price. Went with the Hamilton Field King. I have a few other Hamiltons and have always appreciated the design. This one has the date (m/y) which is unique and I really like. What about yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 03:50 AM
6

A new watch so every time I look at it I am reminded my time has started over.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 02:23 AM
8

Workout at the gym daily - hard but not within a few hours of bed time. Pop an advil PM an hour before bed. Listen to meditation tracks on headspace. It got me through the hardest of the few weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 01:35 AM
5

Buddy, I’m not going to lie, I’m in the same boat as you and it is still extremely new. But, what I have always known, and you do too, is your fam (your kids) need you more than anything. They are going through some deep shit too. They need their father - now more than ever. Be the fucking rock bro. Be the fucking rock. Repeat that shit every day. I have found kicking the shit out of my body IN A CONSTRUCTIVE WAY helps me with the pain. I am lifting every day, or doing home workouts that kick my…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 09:29 PM
2

I appreciate it. I’m on a full plan of therapy, super hard workouts, being the best dad ever, and trying to be as constructive as possible with my time. There are many challenges but everything I read on this sub is so freaking great and supportive. Rewiring your brain is a tough challenge and I expect it to take years. Anything is possible and it makes it easier to have realizations like you have mentioned. The light bulb turned on when I have read your comments. Thanks again
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 06:58 PM
2

These are great words and I appreciate it. You are absolutely right on so many levels. It’s often hard to see beyond your immediate emotions and think outside of the box.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 06:48 PM
2

You have some upvotes. I’m in the same boat as OP (the “shell of a man”) 👨and your comment resonates. I’m curious why this is common?
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 06:49 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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