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jargon_explosion Archive

View 0 posts and 551 comments by jargon_explosion on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

This happened to me as well. I never told her anything else after that. It's not her secrets to tell, so why does it matter if she keeps them from her partner? It has zero effect on their relationship. It's so frustrating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 01:33 AM
49

It's so wild how he came to the correct conclusion but because other men didn't want to believe it, or wanted to cover it up, he instead completely reversed and went in the direction we now all know and spout. Instead of having decades of mental health and societal reform against incest and sexual abuse against women, we got blame, shame and trips to the psych ward. Oh how one thing can make a huge impact. There is more information on this in the book Trauma and Recovery. Great book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 04:14 PM
15

I'm happy to say I haven't been in that sort of situation, but the unfairness and injustice of it all gets to me. How he used her and discarded her like a piece of trash. Took everything from her, including her sanity. It made me so angry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 06:35 PM
49

I'm impressed you could binge watch it. I struggle to make it through an episode at a time and I've tried several times to watch it. It's honestly so upsetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 05:13 PM
7

Get rid of both of them. I have known my best friend for 20 years and am happy to report I have NEVER seen his penis and we even lived together for a while as well. It's not normal behavior between friends and it's a complete breach of trust. No excuses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:42 AM
2

I don't want a massive space to live in, personally. I prefer smaller spaces where I have just enough space for myself and my animal(s). I can afford a full detached home but I choose not to get one. To each their own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:20 AM
15

one of the million abdominal pains women are told they shouldn't worry about or try to fix Ugh. Too real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 09:00 PM
22

Speaking as someone who feels really awkward and sometimes upset about receiving gifts, I'd say it's born of trauma and the feeling that you don't deserve it and "aren't worth the trouble". You feel like there is this balance scale that always needs to tip the other way so when someone gives you something, it tips your way and that makes you uncomfortable. In addition to that, your worthiness of love is inextricably tied to giving. It's something to be aware of and work on. I'd say she feels she…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 02:14 PM
10

Exactly. I see this with women whom I help confront people they have an issue with. I ask them to write out to me the rudest thing they would consider sending the other person on the matter and it's always an incredibly reasonable response. The idea that being mean is anything that isn't layered with apologies, hesitations, excuses for the other person's behavior, etc. is damaging to women being able to set healthy boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:20 PM
26

Is that even mean to say though? That's boundary setting. Women are constantly feeling like they're mean when they are just being reasonable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:49 PM
15

Would OnlyFans not be in trouble here? Can we report this to the authorities as CP?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:49 AM
26

It's really bad/scary to lose your job over a rejection. Imagine you were a single mother and no savings to fallback on or support to speak of. You may have felt like you had no choice but to give in to his advances. I'm glad it seems like you were able to bounce back, but don't feel like you need to downplay how horrible his behavior was to you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 05:00 PM
42

Also if it was an accidental nudge I'm sure he would have tried to help her. Instead, he runs from the scene of the crime. And that's what it was, a crime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 08:14 PM
459

No doubt! Attacked unprovoked, fell into a small space, and the fear of thinking that train could start at any moment and run her over while she was trapped helpless. And for what? Some idiot to feel big about himself by attacking an unsuspecting woman for absolutely no reason?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 08:10 PM
40

I really wish they wouldn't have stopped the video before they helped the young woman out of there. I really hope she is OK. What the hell is wrong with men? Look how quickly they all started as soon as one of them noticed a woman was there and began yelling. Then it just escalated extremely quickly. Groups of men are so terrifying to come across. I remember the first time I encountered one when my friend and I were walking down the street by ourselves, we turned around to avoid them, and they s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 08:08 PM
1

That is so cool, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 12:53 PM
4

That is incredibly interesting. If you have a link on this handy I'd appreciate it! Immediately in my mind I wondered if the evolution reason behind it would be that men would mostly be the ones fighting so probably getting hurt a lot and losing blood from wounds?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:00 AM
12

Yeah, there were still a lot of problems for women even then, but at least the men were more fit and actually did work while appreciating the ‘crafts of womanhood’. Did they though? You seem to be glossing over a lot of women's history and how they were treated. Women today benefit from being born with privileges that were ferociously fought for us by the women before us. If men as a class ever appreciated the "crafts of womanhood", it's never been reflected in law or any sort of power, so I dou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:38 PM
9

We were supposed to take away that a person can rationalize even the most despicable behavior and make themselves the hero of their own story. They can rationalize their way into being the good guy. That a person can see their own behavior in someone else's actions and not see they are in the wrong, because THEY are doing it for the right reasons, unlike that _other_ person. Even in the end, the only person he had an understanding for was a young boy who reminded him of himself, which he then gr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:43 PM
11

I lost hope that most people could correctly interpret movies as they were intended by the creator after watching all these women fawn over the main character in You and how way too many people failed to see his behavior for what it really was, even though the show made it incredibly obvious. Some people even thought that he had some compassion in him because he "saved" the young boy, but that was grooming, not saving, and certainly not loving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:21 PM
17

It's even worse if it's fake. That means they improved the stat, so in reality it's worse (as you're stating). I'm really hating all the onlyfans ads. I'm pretty much done with Reddit. Wish I could get FDS content elsewhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:53 PM
330

Top 1% of creators and less than 15k in the bank and that's a brag? So let's say 100k women have OnlyFans accounts, then a lucky 730 of them can reach the poverty threshold of the US. Nice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:59 PM
25

I've also been in lesbian spaces where a select handful would very aggressively objectify women and pursue them. Also porn is still an issue with women. The ones I've dated that watched a lot of porn would only be able to have sex in very specific circumstances or have trouble getting off in bed. Maybe the signs are just different?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 06:07 PM
19

IMO most of the FDS content still applies to a relationship where both are women. The biggest difference is determining the initiator and the 50/50 split. Take it slow, vet, and keep yourself safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 06:01 PM
4

Great post! And yes that is why I love FDS. For the dynamic, I think it is a bit different. There's more conversation and back and forth on planning, in my experience. I typically take the lead because I love finding new places to go or new things to do and I'm pretty straightforward. But many FDS principles still apply. For the reminder, I tend to like to confirm the day of. But you make a good point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:14 AM
6

Wish I could take credit! These are all ideas I've accrued from FDS. And that sounds awesome, I love when people put in the effort. Definitely a big plus when dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:03 AM
9

I'm an extremely flexible person and very laid back over these kinds of things. I've recently realized that trying to be so accommodating all the time makes me a total doormat for the women I'm into. I've recently set a boundary around time: We agreed on a time, she never replied to confirm, the time came and went so I did other things, she messaged me late asking if I was still cool to meet later. I told her no and that I made other plans as she never got back to me. It was scary but felt great…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 11:59 PM
233

Great tips to weed out controlling behavior very early on. Giving another suggestion, stating right off the bat that you don't want that restaurant or day or time, talking about altering your physical appearance like cutting your hair, etc. Really small things that will openly show how much the other person respects your boundaries, opinions and bodily autonomy. I love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:56 PM
2

No problem! I'm sorry you're experiencing so much harassment and it's unfair your employer is putting you in this situation. At least with this, you won't have to worry about blocking or reporting or ghosting because they won't be able to reach you unless you explicitly send them a friend invite code. You can also mute whole servers so you don't get notifications, or channels within servers if your employer does not want you muting certain channels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 01:00 PM
5

You can turn off direct messaging from people in Discord so that even if they share a server with you, they will not be able to message you without being friends with them. I'd suggest doing that. Edit: Here are some steps. In your account settings find "Privacy and Safety" Find "Server Privacy Defaults" Unselect "Allow direct messages from server members" Find "Who can add you as a friend" Unselect "Everyone" Unselect "Server Members" Also while you are in there feel free to turn off all the da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:56 AM
42

Abe was a complete idiot and Joan was way too good for him, no idea why she was stuck on him. "Abe I want you." "Want me to what? Forgot what you were going to say? Happens to me all the time." Love the show though and hope the second season is even half as good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:51 AM
14

Woman and girls who are strong and determined, who know what they want and unabashedly try to get it, who put themselves and their ambitions first, are not the kind of women and girls they want to see grow up in the world. Better to have them doubt themselves, be unsure and apologetic, and wait for someone else to tell them who to be or what they should want. Better to have girls grow up to be women who feel guilty about not choosing what other people are expecting them to choose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:01 PM
16

Probably one I can't name because it'll get reported!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 02:49 PM
70

Definitely, if he isn't there already, he's got all the talking points: jealous of how often women can orgasm, how much better our orgasms are, and how much easier life is for us. Once he finds the "right" subreddits, he's a goner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 12:38 PM
27

For protection under the law, so he can't just leave you. Basically if you are not married and you have no assets of your own and you live with a man, he can up and leave you with nothing and most of the time you have no legal recourse. In Canada you are protected financially if you are common law partnered without any paperwork though. Outside of NA things could be very different, where the woman doesn't have anything regardless. Then there is the commitment aspect. If marriage isn't a big deal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:06 PM
3

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:03 AM
11

I read that and my stomach sank. Clearly the judges' discretions need some infringing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 11:55 AM
10

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:31 PM
53

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:20 PM
6

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 09:41 PM
5

Mine does that too. I had to get a heavy lid he couldn't open and started keeping him in a room with no trash can while he was alone. He also loves used tissues :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 08:23 PM
15

Hahaha I literally did climb a store shelf to help an older woman out as we were both too short to reach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 05:59 PM
2

I definitely plan on sharing when it's finished, or even when it's partially completed. Right now I just have the lyrics written and a melody in mind but unfortunately I don't have the musical talent to play the instruments as it's a very fast paced song (kind of like kpop). But working on it! I think it has some potential. And I hear you, not enough positive songs written and performed by women in the mainstream stuff. Or if it, it's all about being hung up on some guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 01:04 AM
6

You make a really good point, one I hadn't thought of before. But I feel that, as is the case for pedophiles being rebranded as "minor attracted people", the use of "child pornography" is lessening the severity of the offense towards children, because unfortunately, most people don't view pornography as wrong. I completely agree with you that pornography is sexual exploitation, but as the masses understand it, it's just material to get off to. So really, I'd move to also not call it pornography …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:34 AM
9

Interesting. I will check out her TedTalk, thank you! I'm always open to hearing other viewpoints, though they may not change my mind. I do wish that we could be pro sex without having any sort of porn in our lives though. I read a lot of useful information on women and sex when I was younger that gave me much more than porn ever could or will. I'm pro sex on those educational pieces without the objectifying and visual stimuli.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:01 PM
10

I had never heard of her. It seems like she believes that "ethical porn" will be able to educate men and women on sex and healthy relationships. Combating porn with porn essentially? But somehow still calling her service notporn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:48 PM
37

Thank you. I don't use most of these platforms so I wasn't aware of their rules. Just YouTube for self help and tutorials and Reddit for FDS. And I am not a content creator. (Although I did write a song that has lyrics based on FDS principles that I wanted to post!) It's messed up that they don't allow us to use the words to describe reality but allow the horrific actions to continue unabated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:30 PM
7

It's not for the proof or to get a case, it's literally to save her life in case he escalates. The book mentions having someone you trust look instead so that it doesn't re-traumatize you. He doesn't recommend recording anything for video evidence that I know of, he literally says to give them zero attention in any way. Act like he isn't at the door. Don't answer. Don't reply. But if you think he would ever be violent, don't block because he may warn you if he decides to act, in which case you c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:23 PM
11

I liked that article but then looked at the bottom and it seems like it was cowritten by a woman who created "MakeLoveNotPorn" which is somehow "Pro-sex. Pro-porn. Pro Knowing the Difference." but her platform is an amateur porn platform??? I'm so confused. And I learned a new industry term: Sextech. They are somehow against porn but also pro porn. They describe it as ethical, women-led, reality porn. Sorry I dived into a bit of a rant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:34 PM
78

She very well could be, but there are some women who are seriously this messed up, selfish and uncaring. It's just a lot more rare than with men. But it does happen and we need to call it out when it does because it's equally as disgusting and harmful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:06 PM
183

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:02 PM
62

It was also one of my favorites, I've watched it countless times. I knew all the songs by heart. That one and Aladdin. Though granted Disney songs are real good and catchy. It's weird rewatching things you loved as a kid and noticing all this extra stuff. The Little Mermaid was especially bad. It reminds me of a Tweet someone screencapped to post here at some point where a woman said: "Men will talk about themselves to a woman for ten minutes straight and be like "wow I really like you'". That's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 02:51 PM
1

Also she is on TikTok saying she is a therapist. Any credentials posted anywhere that people can verify? What's her background? What's her specialty? People lie (and I'm counting exaggerations here too) on the internet all the time so that others reading or watching will assume they are an authority.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:09 PM
2

"Taking back" words is such a frustrating movement. It just normalizes the use. It doesn't make bad actors stop using it in a deragotory way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:02 PM
2

I have two friends who are married and go to couples therapy but also individual therapy. She said it has helped them get along better and be more open, but also that they went before there were any big issues so that little issues did not become big issues. It's the only time I've heard of it working/being helpful. But also the husband isn't a piece of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:58 AM
19

In my lived experienced, the protective big brother trope is more media brainwashing than truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:08 AM
16

For stalkers I think blocking is not promoted, in case they turn violent. You can see them escalating in texts and get an early warning. But yes definitely never engage. The advice is given in Gift of Fear which is a recommended book read by FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:07 AM
9

People (Men) often miss the point. Like how there was a huge increase in heroin usage after the movie Trainspotting came out. Who watches Trainspotting and thinks: "Yes, heroin addiction is the life for me!" Idiots, that's who.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 10:55 AM
150

Hell, Ursula's whole song is one big jab at men and how they don't give a damn about women except for how they look. "You've got your looks. Your pretty face. And don't forget the importance of body language. The men up there don't like a lot of blabber. They think a woman who gossips is a bore. Yes on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word, come on now what is idle bridle for? They're not all that impressed with conversation. True gentlemen avoid it when they can."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 10:37 AM
2

Thank you so much! I am absolutely going to give it a read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:58 AM
42

I'm sorry but I laughed at "You didn't earn the privilege to know." I can't imagine ever keeping a straight face if someone ever screamed that at me. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:53 PM
53

The biggest lie has been that housework and emotional labor are somehow less valuable than 50% of the bills. Or even worse, they aren't inherently worth anything at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:48 PM
17

Love your post! How you talk to yourself is huge and what is a fantasy if not another way to talk to or condition yourself? Anything you bring attention to will be at the top of your mind. I've never had rape fantasies but I've had other unhealthy obsessive thoughts that were built on a lack of self esteem, self respect and self worth. Rewiring my brain not to default to these thoughts or believe them was a lot of hard work. If you haven't read it already, I think you would really enjoy the book…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:25 AM
7

Another fantastic book req. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 08:51 PM
54

The making your bed idea isn't even his. There is something to it, though it won't cure depression, it's about doing something for yourself and yourself only first thing in the morning. Something small which nonetheless impacts you and provides some order.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:00 PM
866

I told my friend recently that I don't trust men that are only liked by other men. If no woman is outwardly positive about him or they don't spend time one-on-one with him, then I know something is up. It doesn't have to be murder, he could just be a creep and inappropriate, but it's something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:26 AM
107

Enough men, with enough victims, who, as she says, are indistinguishable from other men and although we love to think that we can perceive deceit, we are all bad at it as most of us want to believe the best in people. I'm reading "Predators" by Anna Salter and it is both sobering and terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:21 AM
73

All Seth Rogen movies are garbage. He's always an ugly loser who gets a gorgeous and successful woman. What a message to send women. "Yes, you, too, can hope to become incredibly successful and put together only to fall for a loser who can't get a decent education or job but it's the soul that matters! His kindness and character is what you always need to warm your cold hearted exterior and fill your empty life."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 03:19 PM
56

"I have to be mysterious, funny, strong, and portray an image of success." These things are only difficult or considered work if you're transparent, boring, weak and a failure. They should come naturally if you are being genuine and honest with your date. If you are not these things, then yes, having to keep up the charade must be exhausting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 08:58 PM
19

If you listen to JP talk you can see how he can fool a lot of men because he just has that way of speaking. But when you really listen, he starts to make little sense after a while. Lots of going off the point and rambling that sound good but don't say much. Anyway, like all all other commenters are saying. Yes, run. Idolizing someone like JP is too much. Calling him a genius is definitely too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 08:53 PM
3

Same here! It sounds so daunting. Yet I read and write all the time and I'm always down to learn something new at work. Originally I was thinking of pursuing a PhD but after I got a job offer (at the only employer I wanted to work for at the time) I never really looked back. lol exactly that! "You already have such a great x, why would you want to improve on that?!" I'm sure it's very threatening to him to have a younger partner who's so much more ahead in her career and education than he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:34 PM
23

Totally agree! It's difficult to start later in life, so it's not the fact that he's obviously struggling that bothers me, but the way he devalues her work ethic, work load, ambition and drive. It's infuriating the way he elevates his work above hers as much more demanding and meaningful despite the fact that she is clearly very successful and handles a lot. PhD is tough no matter what it is. I'm not made for academic life, I've always been better at hands-on and doing the work full time than th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:13 AM
70

I will say, as someone who completed her undergrad after being out of high school for four years, first year calculus was tough. I had to relearn what I forgot from high school and then also learn the undergrad course. He's probably in a similar spot. So I don't doubt that he is struggling. Especially since he's whining about it. But there is zero percent chance that his TWO undergrad classes are more difficult than her PhD. She probably just makes it look easy because she's passionate and drive…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:26 PM
60

"extremely prideful, selfish, high-conflict" Why do I get the feeling that she's confident and assertive, sets boundaries and calls out things that need to be called out? "I know she'd dump her ex if I asked her to get back with me, so that door is still wide open." lol right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:36 AM
100

My friend cosplays and clocks in hundreds of hours per costume. It's hard. This dude probably just buys a bronies shirt and calls it a day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:30 AM
44

I have never experienced carefree dating. That sounds like elementary school stuff when you don't actually understand what dating even is, you just have a girlfriend or boyfriend you hold hands with. He probably means hookups though let's be honest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:43 AM
69

I'm so glad they banned those hateful feminist subs though. This place could have really gone downhill. edit: /s just in case
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:36 AM
15

Does he do it specifically in certain cases (for instance my friend wont tell me to text her when I get home if I drop her off and drive home 5-10mins but she will if I walk her home and have to walk back at night alone or something), or did he do it for everything and then just stop? Because if it's the latter it feels more like it was something he did to score points. Not doing it doesn't indicate someone doesn't care but it's the trailing off of positive behavior that raises questions. Anothe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:30 AM
2

He sounds manipulative at best and dangerous at worst. I'm really glad you're free and safe from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 11:53 PM
4

It's also just really weird to gleefully count the days until or wonder if someone will ever shoot a nude scene. Will that really have an impact on your life? And if so, that's just really sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 11:51 PM
16

familiarity breeds contempt What? How? Did he ever elaborate? I'm scared to wonder in what sort of context he meant this. The more he got to know someone (you), the more contempt he had? That's terrifying. Sounds like a murder waiting to happen. I'm happy to hear you got a divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 01:30 AM
5

Such a great point. Typically you would lose respect for someone when they cross your boundary knowingly, not when they put one up. Huge difference in using the phrase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 01:20 AM
145

And it's known that husbands would steal the inventions/creations of their wives and put their names on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:03 PM
132

If he respected her no, he would stop asking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 02:35 PM
14

What is wrong with this guy?! Ten years is getting old for a cat or a dog and they need more care. I would never fly my animal underneath a plane by themselves and would dump anyone who made me feel "obsessed" because of that or saw anything wrong with that, let alone this absolutely disgusting ultimatum. I hope this is fake because it's terrible. He's the one who should be flying under a plane to another country. Alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 12:57 AM
10

I'm so glad you are safe! "The Gift of Fear" made me realize how close to danger I was in multiple situations in my youth and that I got out if it by trusting my gut. I have "Never Split the Difference" on my reading list and am really looking forward to it! I've been tempted to take his Master Class to be honest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 10:51 PM
2

Well I very much don't see myself in the rest of those, thankfully. And thank you so much! Even though the complaining wasn't the worst thing, it's still such an energy sink to be around someone who is negative all the time but is too scared to do anything about it (speaking for myself here). I'm glad he's out of your life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:23 PM
18

Ugh I hate that I see myself in your ex. My complaining over my job and how I was treated there spilled over into all the parts of my life. I started distancing myself from my friends because I couldn't help but complain when we'd hang out and I hated myself over it afterwards. Leaving that job was a surprisingly tough decision but it changed everything about my life for the better, even though it meant a significant pay cut at the time. It must have been incredibly exhausting and energy crushin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:31 AM
37

It doesn't super bother me if someone gets shit faced, I just find it hilariously sad when it's used as a semi-brag and find it unacceptable when it's used as an excuse to cancel on plans. It's about respecting other people and their time. He knew he had plans the next day and did it anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 10:21 PM
211

I laughed so hard when I read it. He clearly was ramping up to sound so cool and popular being hungover from how much fun he had the previous night and you went straight for the jugular with that line. He's not cool and you're not impressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 06:48 PM
414

Do you often drink past your limits? Savage LOL I loved it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 06:42 PM
19

Had a conversation about this with a male coworker who didn't understand what the big deal was. The look on his face perfectly displayed the cogs turning in his head when I asked him if he'd be fine if from that day forward I would address any group of people with "hey gals!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 04:00 PM
12

It honestly sounds like your husband is the one making you act "insane". I don't think you're insane. You're reacting to a hostile environment that he's creating. You feel insane because of how he treats you. I hope you are able to leave some day soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:30 PM
1

Yes I felt more traumatized than empowered, honestly. Edit: removed my rant cause I can't figure out spoiler tags, oh well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:02 PM
489

Wow we are really leaning into men's mental health issues being the women's fault for rejecting them, aren't we? This is gross. Rejection sucks but if you want anything in life you're going to have to deal with it eventually. Unless you're handed everything by society, of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 01:32 PM
55

"How do you know when you're done?". I don't know girl, maybe when we're both exhausted from orgasms? LOL truth. Or when one of you wants to stop, basically.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:00 PM
5

That is a good way to put it. It was disappointing, to say the least. And the ending really bothered me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 02:36 AM
17

This appears to be the study: https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/pdf/10.1089/vio.2014.0022 Found it from this article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pop-psych/201601/exaggerating-statistics-about-rape Which linked to this article: https://www.thecut.com/2015/01/lots-of-men-dont-think-rape-is-rape.html Which then linked the study.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 02:18 AM
46

I might be in the minority but I didn't like it at all. It's just another movie where a woman sacrifices herself to teach men a lesson that they'll never learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:19 PM
5

Number of shooting incidents by women where men were the primary/only target: 0 I've been on FDS for months now and it's rare to see a comment (not post) wishing violence on men. I've never seen a post. If it existed at some point it likely got taken down quickly or stopped entirely by the bots. To equate what has become of the incel community with this community is either ignorant or disingenuous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:57 PM
3

Definitely agree with grooming. Like if the parent is not only abusive but actively grooms their child into doing it as well, or somehow molds the behavior as what is expected of them, I think that would have a huge impact on a child growing up. I'm not sure what kind of studies, if any, there have been on something like this, but it'd be interesting to read. I'm basing my opinion on anecdotes mostly, so I'd be unsurprised to be wrong in the larger context!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:51 PM
9

I absolutely agree that trauma affects people into adulthood but I'm not certain there is a direct correlation to being abused as a child and then becoming a child abuser. I will be reading the books suggested by another poster for more info. I will say that anecdotally, children do not mirror their parents exactly. They may learn certain things from them, but they grow into their own person and diverge. I've found that it's entitlement that causes abusive behavior, more than their trauma.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:32 PM
8

Amazing! Thank you so much for the book reqs!! I thought I remembered reading something similar in The Gift of Fear but couldn't recall if he only spoke about physical abusers or also sexual abusers or just roped them all into one. I appreciate the reply and the subsequent informational edit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:28 PM
16

Is that true? I thought that was debunked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:35 AM
32

When this was asked of StatsCan they replied that the numbers wouldn't be significant enough to matter. Except there are so few female sex offenders in comparison to male sex offenders that it absolutely does matter. It's infuriating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:30 AM
6

There is no way they didn't know. The mod was talked about on the radical feminist sub which they banned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:11 AM
100

Whenever a man brags about sleeping with a lesbian I tell him either she's a liar or he's a rapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 12:27 AM
42

He's a control freak. He's obsessed with dating brunettes and making them go blonde. He also ensured he'd only have boys. He's gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 02:35 PM
43

My dad once told me: "You will only get as far as your incompetence or perceived incompetence." He told me this because I was struggling to have my boss see that I was worth the promotion, the respect, a voice in the room where the decisions happened. He said that it didn't matter how competent I am at my job if they perceive me as incompetent. In their minds, I hit a ceiling, and whenever I asked for feedback on how to improve or what I could do to get what I was asking for, all I ever got back…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:05 AM
18

I'm with you, I didn't like it either. The tone felt condescending and left me with a bad feeling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:48 PM
7

Oh thank you so much! Honestly you had a great post! You were spot on and I wanted to share a thought on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:44 PM
28

We are failing generations of women :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 10:44 PM
1

The book recs in this sub are top shelf. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 10:38 PM
19

People also argue that smoking cigarettes relieves stress. But the stress they are relieving is from wanting a cigarette and then having one. I view porn the same way. They are relieving the stress of wanting to watch porn by watching it. There is nothing inherently relaxing about porn. Things that are actually proven to reduce stress? Meditation, the outdoors, certain types of exercise, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 10:35 PM
19

Do they really not understand the point of patreon or just willful ignorance? Tough to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 12:21 AM
2

The joint account thing always seemed questionable to me. Especially when a woman I knew got one with her boyfriend of like a year or two. He was abusive as hell and kept taking all the money so it was probably his idea. And my friend's parents who divorced and had joint credit cards. Her mom kept paying them down and her dad kept wracking up the bills. It took so many years after the divorce for her to finally be able to close that account. Instead I opted to add my partner's name to my credit …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 02:57 AM
45

Especially if he tries to sneak in after the radio silence with no explanation as to his absence. Am I the only one who gets really irate at this specifically? Especially if you were in the middle of a conversation when they flaked and you asked questions and they come back the next day or a week later like "Hey! How's your day going?" Blows my mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 02:30 AM
85

Wording is SO important. That's like news articles will have headlines like "Man has sex with underaged woman." No. He didn't have sex with an underaged woman. He raped a child. But they don't want to call it what it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 10:33 PM
3

I'll never forget the look on my (female) cousins' faces when I told them that I had never been pressured into sex. Or rather that they had tried and I denied it and it went no further. It was pure disbelief. That's when I realized how lucky I've been.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 05:07 PM
33

It's also a daily fight for basic respect with many people. I've had several conversations with women at my work recently about having to consistently fight for the respect they feel they deserve. Women always need to prove themselves while men are assumed competent until proven otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 04:50 PM
24

A "friend" of mine played devil's advocate when I told him about a frustrating experience where a man in no uncertain terms told me that men were better than women at everything because they just are. He said that the guy probably didn't mean "all men". First of all, you weren't there. Secondly, you don't even know this guy so why are you defending him? And third, yes he absolutely meant all men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 04:40 PM
16

One woman made the front page for creating deep fakes to harm her child’s cheer team opponents (I think) which is awful, but no one talks about all the men making deep fakes of nonconsenting women, children, and celebrities, just how much is out there already, and just how quickly the technology is advancing because of those degenerates. omg I couldn't believe this, I literally have to go dig up for examples of this, still can't actually find any names of men, but a woman does this and it immedi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 10:38 PM
7

I've noticed this as well. Another one is when I'm clearly trying to pickup after my dog and they'll try to get my dog to come over or allow their dog to get mine excited and it makes things so difficult but they don't care. Another one was terrifying where I was walking through the park and without asking a man just kneels down and grasps my dog's face in his hands. He starts to aggressively pet him and essentially has his hands around his neck. He was just talking about loving dogs and then su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 01:20 AM
10

Not just a tweet, but even a past tweet from like 5-10 years ago! It's ridiculous. Even YouTubers are doing these huge video apologies for using a word or a term that is deemed _problematic_ today. Children are accosted online for having an opinion that the verbally abusive masses don't agree with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 04:39 PM
10

Couldn't agree more. Refusing to hear or be exposed to ideas and thoughts that we don't agree with hurts everyone. Today they are banning something that you disagree with, but tomorrow it'll be something you are trying to support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 04:31 PM
7

This is an important point that does not get mentioned enough. All the profiteering "sex workers" are the pimps and producers, not the women working at the bottom of the hierarchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 02:34 AM
48

I can almost feel his disappointment at still being unemployed and single/sexless but in Finland. And it's hilarious. Also writing a whole book about not being able to have sex even though you switched countries in an attempt to have sex... 😂 Too good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:22 AM
6

Preference also means you like more than one thing, but you'd choose one over the other. What he is describing sounds more like a fetish than a preference. If he can't date a woman who isn't a redhead then it's not just a preference. In fact he got angry that she wasn't. That's weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:30 AM
83

LOL he'd leave for Finland. Yes, that will solve all your problems. Also I love that feminism and women not wanting to marry is brought up as an issue. I thought FWB and commitment free sex is what the new world order was promoting? Why would they care if women don't want to marry? Can we please stop blaming women for men feeling sorry for themselves and being unable to make anything of themselves despite the inborn privileges they get? They mostly seem upset that they actually might need to try…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:09 AM
44

We don't even need to say all men. We just need to generalize and the men we need to avoid will out themselves. Two women and I were having a discussion about men and we weren't making any excuses, just talking frankly, and a male friend of ours came in and sat and listened and didn't say anything. No interruptions, no objections, just sat and listened. So yeah, not all men, but the ones who get it, they don't whine about "notallmen" anyway. They get it. They don't interrupt. They understand it'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 11:02 PM
17

It's tough to see the lyrics and message as positive when the video is highly sexualizing the women: The animalistic crawling on the floor, mounting the backup dancers as steads, the really weird cage scene, those poses on the couch, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 01:45 PM
11

Enough men that yes all men benefit. That's what I say now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:00 AM
3

But at least the law would pretend to care. It wouldn't matter if she consented or not and the "she said they said" defense would be a non factor. They'd have to serve time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 09:09 PM
33

Is this real? Does this billboard exist? Wow. The new wave of feminism has done a great disservice to women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 09:05 PM
142

Amazing post!! Thank you for writing this up after the article was published. we should adjust our lives and presentation to filter out the ones that want and get rid of the ones that we don't want Imagine thinking this is a bad thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 01:43 AM
23

They are only concerned about declining birth rates because it's become a huge pyramid scheme where you need more people at the bottom (younger) to support the people at the top (older). We have decided as a society to strive for money, power and influence above genuine human connection, leading to essentially what amounts to a loneliness epidemic. We are lonely on a greater scale and younger people are more lonely than ever. https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/loneliness-epidemic-consequence…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 05:38 PM
31

That looks promising though right? Unless I'm misreading the graph, it looks like searches for IMD in 2019 was higher on IMD than on IWD 2019 and double the one on IWD 2020.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 06:04 PM
6

What do you want to bet that he feels like the situation is uneven in her favor because the talk included all the things he needed to give up but they didn't cover all the adjustments she would need to make as well, since she wasn't the one who wasn't ready for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 05:59 PM
66

"If the feminist movement were a men's movement, then men would support it! Don't women know that women earn equity in society by giving men all the support they need and benefits they want?" /logic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 12:15 AM
109

Yet they probably don't teach anything about budgeting your finances, savings accounts, the effects of compound interest, investing, etc. Easier for women and girls to prostitute themselves! That's all impoverished women will ever be good for after all! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 06:50 PM
21

Hearing about exes establishing contact through other means once they find out they are blocked on one medium reminds me of my job at the movie theatres. When we were prepping for the shows before the theater was open, we would have every single entrance door locked except for the one furthest down, so that employees could come in. I watched so many people try the first door, it being locked, then a second door, it being locked, then a third door, it being locked, etc. Until finally reaching the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 06:04 PM
25

It's even worse now with deep fakes. Women are deep faked into porn videos and imagery. It looks real and most people believe it and the women are shamed, fired, threatened, etc. Then we talk about deep fakes in a way that's hurtful to history or politics, but not about the women and girls it harms in day to day life. We should not send naked pictures of ourselves but with deep fakes just sending a headshot is enough. https://www.technologyreview.com/2021/02/12/1018222/deepfake-revenge-porn-comi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 04:41 PM
46

Agreed. I have heard several men IRL talk about how hard dating or being in a workplace is for straight men because of false rape and sexual harassment accusations. No idea if they are active on Reddit, but ideas like this definitely don't exist in a vacuum. They permeate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 01:48 AM
61

Plenty of men could really benefit from therapy IF they’re willing to do the hard work of introspection. However, if you sense a cruel streak in a him, or you sense abusive tendencies, please don’t stay with him to see if therapy will make him better. It won’t. Definitely. Therapy only works if you do the work. You'll only do the work if you want to. So therapy will only work if you want to do therapy. Sending abusers to therapy as a way to keep their relationship intact or as part of a sentence…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 01:32 AM
61

He perked up his head after "ring" and interrupted her as soon as he found something he could blurt out. He heard her. That was absolutely a calculated method of avoiding the subject. Also, gross. He looks unkempt and based on what he is saying, he is unkempt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:25 PM
12

"Have boundaries so he can feel pleased and empowered when he successfully pushes them."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 05:43 PM
3

I'd feel really overwhelmed getting a text like this before even having a conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 05:13 PM
32

We could all just mention how much we love to brunch on Fridays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 04:46 AM
51

Yeah I'm imagining a lot of screaming and crying from the mother, maybe pleas for help. And a lot of yelling and aggression from the father.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 01:20 AM
47

That's a better compromise in my opinion. It hasn't been my experience unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 09:52 PM
65

It's happening in both. Or the women's washroom gets designated as unisex while the men's remains men only.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 08:19 PM
127

Nowadays women seem to be leading the charge in fighting to take away what the women before them had to fight and claw for to progress to where we are today, and that includes sex specific bathrooms. Let's stop and think for a moment at the privilege of being able to leave our houses and use a washroom designated for us. It seems ridiculous now but it wasn't not too long ago. The fight for same sex designed washrooms is important especially because it seems like it shouldn't matter, but data and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 08:15 PM
45

Marcus is a real tool and it's like Ginny just wants to punish herself and sabotages. He keeps just climbing into her bedroom at night unannounced it's so creepy!! In the first episode he disrespected so many boundaries it was ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 07:59 PM
75

I wouldn't pay in general, but also I would absolutely not pay without receipts. Trusting a person you've known for only months when they request 1800$ without ever consulting you? Hard pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 07:01 PM
9

I hear where you are coming from. It would be weird to have someone always pick and follow whatever you like. Maybe if this is the only instance in which he does this, it's not so bad? But yes, I need my partner to be their own person with their own likes and dislikes. More than happy to share food though. And I've also switched dishes with my SO if she didn't like what she ordered or if it was too spicy, because I'll eat pretty much anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:59 PM
194

"which is my ultimate goal, somewhere down the road." He's over thirty lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:51 PM
4

The whole thing is exhausting and gross, but I really laughed at "preparing his shower". How do you prepare a shower? You literally turn it on. It's not like a bath. I would feel really embarrassed and infantilized if someone did all of this for me. I can turn on a faucet and put gas in my car, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:52 PM
2

But it goes back to the idea that it's difficult to watch for women yet men seem unfazed. Women already know how messed up rape is. We already feel violated just watching it or imagining it, we don't need to be bombarded by the imagery. Yet it's done absolutely nothing for us in terms of getting men to empathize on a large scale, so what is the point?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:43 PM
13

It's not about purity and virginity, it's about safety and respect. How does sleeping with someone heal shame from the past? What shame? The only thing I agree with is that having sex on the first date should not have any impact on your eligibility as a partner. But it seems to and women aren't the ones who are going to change that, because they aren't the ones who think it has an impact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 06:44 PM
4

But one thing I would definetely get behind, is adding "sexual abuse, minutes: xx to xx" tags like that on movies that have it I'd definitely get behind this idea as well. You make a good point about movies being visual. I guess at this point, I feel like we need to "sacrifice" art, for lack of a better word, in order to stop displaying these graphic visuals that seem to serve only to disgust women and turn on men. For a long time I thought that displaying the horrors of things like rape would m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 05:57 PM
98

They will lie for decades. No joke. I found out my family had been lying to me and to the rest of our extended family about my brother's businesses. He acts like he's making hundreds of thousands, and spends money like it, when in reality he owed so much money no one in town wanted to do business with him anymore, he couldn't pay the home bills, and he was being taken to court over debt owed. I was livid when his ex told me after their breakup. Not only was he lying to me, but my parents were (a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 05:01 PM
78

Agreed, everything he did here was for himself: He didn't feel anything during sex, so he did not want to continue. He didn't want to deal with letting her know that because he'd feel bad, so he strung her along. He felt bad that he never actually ended it, so he invited her to coffee to tell her in person. He gets to come off as the good guy in his scenario (in his own mind) because he did "everything he could" to let her down easy. They are just selfish and so become unintentionally cruel, bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 04:13 PM
29

Honestly I feel like they should never show rape on screen. They can allude to it, but why show it? There are ways you can get creative. Showing actual rape is nauseating and traumatizing. There is no art in it. It's a really cheap way to get a reaction out of an audience and it serves no one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 03:15 PM
29

I'm on the fence about marriage. I have no real stance against it, but also after I found out I was a lesbian, the whole conventional family and marriage thing kind of flew out of the window and I started from scratch, then really developed to liking the idea of marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:42 PM
4

No my therapist is awesome and she totally gets me. She has no issues with any of my stances/standards, especially regarding men and porn, and never recommends going against them. This was a friend of a friend who is a therapist and I read the book out of curiosity, because I don't want to read only things I agree with all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:29 PM
6

I read one of her books as it was suggested to me by a woman who is a professional therapist. A woman who was dating a married man. A woman who stated she enjoyed being choked in the bedroom. I found the book interesting even though much of it didn't sit right with me. If nothing else it opened my eyes to how many lines there are about what is considered cheating and how much people will rationalize their choices. More than anything though, all of that just showed me that we often seek advice fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:58 PM
36

Yeah that line was super gross. I mean all of it was, really. It's hard to pick apart so much garbage when it just makes you want to throw up and walk away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 07:57 PM
168

Reading "Fed Up" right now and the author says what I've seen echoed here many times: If her husband ever died, she would never remarry. Edit: typo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 07:56 PM
190

adds value to a man's life beyond sex ​ Are you a good lay? Hmmm. And then the second screenshot he's somehow arguing for women to aim for less by using the logic of "why would a man aim for less?" Fourth screenshot is basically "don't want to sleep around? be a nun". But then the seventh screenshot basically admits that men want a challenge and the feeling of "winning" in order to be in a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:40 PM
7

Reading "Fed Up" right now and this is so on topic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:55 AM
2

It’s like you’re your own conversion therapist. That is exactly what it was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:47 AM
3

Yes! So much. We aren't stopping you from accepting the bare minimum, but the women on this sub want more than that. I feel like a lot of women have been socialized to believe that women don't enjoy sex One of my exes told me that her grandmother told her it was natural to dislike sex and she just had to lay there and get it over with. She kept sleeping with men and every time after would be in tears. She thought it was normal. Heartbreaking. That is one of the many reasons I love this sub. Wome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:45 AM
10

I have heard(anecdotally) that it is difficult for gay men who don't take part in hook up culture. I could definitely see these principles work for gay men who want to vet potential partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:07 AM
11

That is horrible. No child should be threatened to be without safety and security. Wish I could give you a hug! I also went through phases of forcing myself to have male crushes and dating men. Playing their stupid party games and hanging up pictures of celebrity males on my walls. The lengths I went to to "correct" my sexuality messed me up for a long, long time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 03:56 AM
7

Great post! I have yet to hear a lesbian woman say they don't feel welcomed in FDS. In fact I've heard more upset about FDS from heterosexual women who feel like we are "attacking" their totally awesome and perfect boyfriend/fiance/husband. ...because being a lesbian in a comphet/patriarchal world isn't easy either. Thank you for saying this. I understand the women on this sub are frustrated with the dating world with men, but almost every single lesbian I know has dated men anyway, because we l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 03:21 AM
8

This is my dream too! Ever since I read about seven women doing this it's been on my mind. The older I get the less into romantic relationships I seem to be and I'd be happy to spend that energy on strong friendships instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 03:10 PM
20

My friends go to couple's therapy even though their marriage is fine. There are small things they want to help alleviate and it's done the trick. Seemed to make sense to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 08:07 PM
122

He never wanted children yet has three? So full of shit. Those kids didn't happen by accident. Sounds like he thinks he can just pay her off and walk away and get everything he wants. I hope she gets a lawyer and takes him to the cleaners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 04:12 AM
148

Shameless is like every single thing FDS warns you about, especially Frank and Lip. Lip is the exact outcome of the warning against building up a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 11:34 PM
238

Women are also hypervigilant of their surroundings, especially when alone. I listen for footsteps approaching or speeding up behind me. Watch for shadows. Look for feet or signs of someone hiding. Switch sides of the street if I feel like someone is too close behind me or has been behind me for a while. Watch men's hands when they pass me. Etc. And this is all when I don't even feel afraid. You can call us paranoid but I always trust my gut. Pretty sure it's saved my life or at the very least sa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 10:43 PM
15

Right? That takes so much courage. Leave everything behind because you know what you want and your current situation isn't it. She worked at a high tech job and everything and left to work retail until she could find the same high tech job here. I was so impressed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 07:22 PM
13

I'm ashamed to say I didn't know it until FDS. I got so mad at this show when the woman had triplets and the man was going around yelling about how he had a magic penis. Just further misinformation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 07:09 PM
57

The straight up lying saying "no" seems so crazy to me. People lying to manipulate me always sets me off. And this was so brazen! First the "no", and then the "not frequently" despite the fact that he pays for a premium subscription?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 05:55 PM
45

Move to a developed country. One of the recent hires at my company is a woman from India. She said she was expected to get married and settle down with a family there and hated that pressure so instead she moved to our country and now works for us. And also works part time at a retail telco shop because she enjoys it on weekends and that's what she wants to do. She sounds so badass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 04:55 PM
110

I'm so tired of having these people just decide when they will pick you up or put you down. It's not even ghosting. It's worse. Ghosting would be I never hear from you again, which sucks at first but you get over it. But this coming in and out of your life when they feel like it and expecting you to just drop everything and forget about the fact that they couldn't take 2mins out of their day to reply is extremely frustrating and unacceptable. Sorry. End rant. And this guy sucks with his "glad to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:15 AM
26

Ever since this sub has pointed out the "wants causual" and "wants kids somedays" pairing I can't unsee it or stop finding it absolutely ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 12:11 AM
37

Wow that is horrifying, I hope she's OK. Also the two key slurs in there, you know, those completely harmless and "reclaimed" ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:35 PM
7

I laughed way too hard at this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:51 AM
3

I completely understand. Especially trying to get over someone that you don't really have a lot of bad memories about, then you don't really have that ammo either. I really enjoy her channel, and strangely enough, she posted this video today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUWBKkqQSzs It helps me, maybe it could help you too. It gets you thinking about you and your needs and less about them and what they've done for/to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 02:43 AM
6

Making a bed literally takes 2mins of your morning. He sleeps in a sleeping bag at home :( After this WFH situation I'm no longer surprised about the bed situation of men though. So many have video calls in their bedrooms. One guy was actually in his bed with his bedsheets wrapped around him and he was holding his pillow. So weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:02 AM
3

I go through these phases as well. When something or someone catches my attention I will give it or them everything. I do believe this stuff works. I just feel that it's more work and more time for those of us who tend to fixate hard. The one thing that absolutely works is no contact. My no contact typically has to be at least six months for a full detox, if you will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:49 PM
21

I've recently realized that it doesn't matter if it was true for someone else if it was true for me. When I feel abandoned, it doesn't matter that they don't feel like they abandoned me. My reality is that I was abandoned and I'm allowed to feel that through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:27 PM
7

I could believe that. For myself personally, I've never been diagnosed, but I match a lot of the symptoms when I get involved in a relationship that leaves me guessing a lot and has no stability. As soon as I leave I have a lot more calm and most of the symptoms go away. I don't recall where I read the parallel, but I believe it could have been in "Trauma and Recovery", a truly eye opening book. Side note, I've been reading a lot on attachment styles lately and it's helped a lot. Recently someon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 11:14 PM
30

I've read that BDP is the new Hysterical diagnosis for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 06:34 PM
20

I always get anxiety when I hear people speak to their partners in a controlling, passive aggressive way It always makes me tense. I remember working at a cafe and this couple came in sometimes. She was so sweet. He sounded like a complete piece of thrash. He'd be controlling about what coffee she ordered. "No, you don't want that." Gross. I always wanted to tell her she deserved better but was afraid of what he'd do because he was always in earshot and watching.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 06:29 PM
5

When I was told I was "too sensitive" by my partner or when she kept asking why I wasn't over a certain event yet, it had been too long, etc. It really impacts your ability or willingness to openly talk about concerns or issues you have. She didn't yell and wasn't abusive, but just the responses I would get when bringing up things important to me made me feel like it wasn't worth it, too much trouble, like I was overthinking everything, just a bother, etc. Even without the fear, if your partner …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 05:56 PM
5

I'm not at that part of the show yet, but it's happening before all that. It happens throughout the show past the first season, really. And the show in general, all these incredibly hot women just give in to both Frank and Lip. Lip looks like someone melted his face off and treats every girl/woman he's with like shit yet he's always portrayed as a "good guy" and a total catch. His character is constantly propelled by all the women who surround him, but he's a thankless asshole who can't wait to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 05:44 PM
13

It's high standards to them because it's a long list for them to change. It would look exhausting to anyone who doesn't just do most or all of these by nature/default. So really they are saying more about them than about us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 04:07 PM
26

It's such an unreal presentation of life. I'm watching Shameless and it's absolutely mind blowing how many attractive women across all ages have sex with this old, homeless, jobless, alcoholic, drug addict and compulsive liar of a man. Never. Would. Happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:40 PM
55

Getting attached to someone flaky is a straight line to getting disappointed and frustrated. When they pay attention to you, it'll feel great and like you are finally connecting, but when they leave randomly you'll be left wondering what it is you did or said and why they are ignoring you. Then they come back like nothing happened, making things even more confusing than when they left, as though you're the crazy one for noticing or worrying. Do yourself a huge favor and just cut her out now befo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 11:16 PM
30

I completely agree with you. Sex crimes have absolutely no justification. You don't rape someone to protect yourself, like in self defense murder. You don't rape to feed yourself or your family, like stealing. And you hurt others, not yourself, unlike doing drugs. Sex offenders offend because they want to and feel entitled to get what they want. It's a completely self serving act.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 10:41 PM
21

yuck your yum How I wish this phrase would just die.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:02 PM
12

The 50/50 doesn't really apply. I've generally always paid since my income has been higher than that of any woman I've dated so far. In a hetero relationship the expectation is that the man approaches and plans and everything. That doesn't work for obvious reasons. You can't wait for a woman to approach you if you're interested, just make it known and if she rejects you, accept it and move on. The block and delete is also not as necessary as in my experience most women just move on once you tell…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 06:46 PM
7

If a woman is bisexual and she calls herself a lesbian then she is lying. If you go around calling yourself a lesbian publically and actively seek out relationships and sexual encounters with men, you are lying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 06:29 PM
49

Good job! I have zero tolerance for texting while we are actively hanging out or out for dinner or drinks or whatever else. You are taking up my time and you can't get off your phone? It's rude. It will never not be rude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 05:52 PM
94

A guy made a comment about how I looked more manly than he did and I said "That's not hard." and that's all it took for him never to making another comment like that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 03:46 PM
14

But the rape scene in Requiem for a Dream was supposed to be upsetting and some men still thought it was arousing, so really they just can't empathize with a woman being raped. Edit: Though I suppose you're specifically talking about porn. It just doesn't feel like there is any difference anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 04:52 AM
67

I completely agree with you. You don't need to see the murder or rape to understood it happened. Law&Order did just fine without the gratuitous scenes. It's too much now. Shows even depict gratuitous sex scenes for teenagers and then you have people on YouTube commenting about how they wish they would have shown "more". Like what? Gross. They're supposed to be kids!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 03:55 AM
20

That would very much increase our dating pool which would be awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 11:55 PM
58

Guys say they won't wait but they do. My first boyfriend told my friend he'd break up with a girl who didn't have sex with him in the first month. We dated for four months and I never had sex with him once. I was the one who broke it off. Edit: And no, he was not a HVM. Furthest thing from it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 10:14 PM
59

Caught this also. Sounds like this mature, sexy woman from a few days ago is already in the past for this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 11:30 AM
1

Oh that's so interesting! Do you happen to have a link to that research or article off the top of your head or where to find it? I do agree with the whole "crazy cat lady" versus "man's best friend" and is inline with the rest of the garbage we hear as women being constantly judged. Kind of like "being a p*ssy" versus "having balls". I just don't think it should be a reason to like or dislike a particular animal. How men feel about dogs have nothing to do with dogs. At least I know my dog would …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 10:31 PM
3

The reason they are liked or disliked speaks volumes about people, for sure, and I agree with the parallels, but I've just seen the opinion of how cats are better or preferred because of how men view them versus how they view and prefer dogs. I just find that odd to project on a pet. People can prefer one over the other, but I've seen posts here (not you) going so far as insinuating that liking a dog over a cat is low value, which is wild to me. But your comment did state that you preferred cats…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 10:14 PM
5

Yeah this back and forth happens a decent amount here for some reason, as though any animal or pet is less than another just for existing and loving the way that they do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 09:04 PM
45

My dad is also his age and yet looks more vibrant than my older brother, because he takes care of himself and always has. You said it right: he's just lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:36 PM
20

Active listening skills and actually caring about what she is saying are two completely different things. The latter comes with active listening skills ingrained, the former is just a practice as a means to an end. Also I suspect women get reasonably worried when he likely pushes the conversation into a BDSM or sexual context which he finds "amazing" but they sense something off and run. If there is anything I've learned about the new online society is how much poly and BDSM people can't stop im…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:26 PM
7

I hope this is fake and that no woman would decide to bring a child into this world with such a selfish piece of shit private man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:12 PM
8

I was a late bloomer and only finished my undergrad in my late 20s. I paid my own way and although I work in tech, my salary was on the low end of industry standards for the first three years. I was debt free by 30. What is this guy doing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:04 PM
47

You even have to go further and make sure the default setting isn't to post it publicly. I got caught with this with Strava. I wanted to track my speed and time, but I didn't realize that it was posting my routes on their "social" website for anyone to see if they looked up/found my account.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:07 AM
172

​ Talks about going to a strip club with a female friend, as if that makes it better. Makes you feel like you now need to compete with this random friend. Equates a strip club to watching porn. And he watches porn. Called you controlling. Already setting the stage to push back against your boundaries on this. It's all horrible. When he said it seems a lot less bad than the content.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:27 AM
14

I think some governments are finally catching on that it's the exact same damn thing. It'll take a while to get everywhere though, if ever. Example: https://www.texastribune.org/2019/08/14/Texas-new-law-sending-unwanted-nudes-dating-apps-texts/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:03 AM
22

That if someone wanted to, they would and that energy put into you is a direct correlation of their interest and intention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 09:30 PM
2

You aren't. Telling you that everything you say is important is about you and what you have to say. Telling you that everything you say is important to him makes it about him and how you should be grateful that he holds you in such high regard. It's a subtle way to try to build a connection, because what you have to say may not be important, but to him specifically, because you're special to him, then it's important. If you can avoid it, I would stop saying anything dismissive about yourself or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 05:18 PM
5

The guy deserved it! I should do this as well. Went through something similar recently where I took hours from my work day to answer some questions and do tasks and at the end of it gave my recommendation. No one replied or said anything. A week later they come around and ask the same fucking question! I answer it again and give the same recommendation. Then the IT guy comes along and recommends the same thing as me and the group is like "ok well if that's what is recommended." I was so mad! Def…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:03 PM
3

He specifically said "to me" at the end? I'd definitely keep my guard up then. He could have just said "Everything you say is important." The "to me" part wasn't needed and usually you'd say that in an effort to make the other person feel like they are special to you. There is a huge distinction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 02:41 PM
8

There is no incentive for him to change if she stays with him because after the abuse there is never a consequence. He's allowed to do as he pleases and she remains there and takes him back whenever he's ready. The entire relationship is on his terms, so why would he stop? What makes her think he will do anything differently if she continues to do more of the same? You can't force someone to treat you right. You can only set your standards and leave if the other person does not meet them. She ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 08:29 AM
17

That is way too much to put onto a single person. She will break under that pressure and he'll blame her for his mental health when she eventually needs to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 10:06 PM
5

I hear you. While writing my comment I was thinking about how brave you would be to put yourself out there. I've seen first hand how men and men-centric women will try to ruin a group of women organizing for pro-women or women-only communities and the fear from the women is real. But I also know it's needed. We need to stop being collectively afraid and stand together. I'm really in awe of the women who have been able to put up websites like Spinster together. Even this subreddit, the thrash tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 09:39 PM
31

Yeah I am actually disgusted. What good will come out of this article? Truthfully? And she must know that it isn't women going around fantasizing about eating their partners. Can't believe I even have to write comments on something like this. And it's published in COSMO!! Unbelievable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 09:29 PM
45

That makes it SO much worse. I didn't know. Honestly I can't read about all this, it angers me so much. We are witnessing the epitome of women throwing other women under the abuse bus. We learn about women under the power of their husband or boyfriend recruiting girls and women to be abused, but now we have "feminist writers" publicly promoting abuse and being vulnerable with someone that fantasizes about murder, because it will satisfy them sexually, seemingly of their own free will and convict…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 09:27 PM
152

These "articles" are really trying to draw such a thin line in the sand and encourage women to put their trust into the hands of someone who actively and openly fantasizes about murdering them. It's so dangerous. These pro violent kink writers and porn producers should be held partially accountable for the "accidental" strangulation deaths of women in the bedroom. It's enraging. I swear if someone ever came up to me in person and tried to defend this I would just go off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 06:07 PM
45

FDS empowers folks women not to get fucking murdered by psychopaths. EDIT: The existence of truly disturbed and violent people has always bothered me but what frightens me the most is this new trend of excusing their behavior under the guise of mental illness or sexual fetish. The mainstream idea that women should be inclusive at all costs and also completely accept anything as "their choice" is ridiculous. These men should have acceptance to proclaim their "cannibalism fetish" without fear; mea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 05:49 PM
15

Completely agree! Which is why I love Mackenzie Scott. Soon after getting her divorce settlement she started donating and using it on societal causes. Bezos just keeps it all for himself... for what exactly?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 01:48 PM
16

I've found that organizing women online is less about the talent pool and more about the fear. Men can organize online freely but women open themselves up to so many potential issues. I'd like to trust that you are a woman and being genuine but I just don't know that. It is especially scary when it comes to pro-women and women-only causes as men will target those.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 01:22 PM
13

I think the difference is mostly between cleaning up your own personal mess and cleaning up after others. Like if you start doing dishes in the middle of a party, that's weird. It also matters if the party is hosted or at a communal place. For example I'd hate it if someone decided to start cleaning up instead of enjoying the party and it's nice if they ask to help at the end before leaving but I'll always say no. Compared to a party I went to where a few of us rented a place and all chipped in.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 11:55 AM
15

I agree with you. She even admitted that she stopped thinking about her children as she was so focused on "fixing" the relationship. Though I do empathize to the point that she was likely in shock. But never stay with someone who hits you. If not for yourself then for your children if they are in the picture. They deserve to have parents that set healthy boundaries and show self respect. I just really hope he's that miracle person that actually does change or self reflect and takes therapy serio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 10:36 PM
5

Yes there is an attitude of how easy it is to be a lesbian compared to a straight woman but the grass is always greener. We have our own set of difficulties and issues. Being a lesbian doesn't suddenly make your life or partnerships amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 08:57 PM
82

Now her son knows that hitting a woman is acceptable behavior that will be forgiven. If the children talk at all then the daughter probably also knows. In her need to not be alone she is teaching her children a lesson they will never forget. Her son will think that he can physically abuse a woman and keep his relationship. The daughter will think that if she is physically abused she is equally responsible and it is on her shoulders to forgive and give chances. This is a really sad story all arou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:17 PM
207

I'm so glad she stood up for you! I was worried for a moment that this would be a sad ending for your friendship. Friends that have your back are the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 06:46 PM
8

More things I wish I didn't know :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:11 PM
6

It was like icing on the sadness cake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 03:24 AM
12

Wow congrats to that guy for being such a damn good actor and liar that his girlfriend believes he's just an innocent victim that can't say no to a naked sleepover with another woman. Everything about this story is so damn pathetic and sad and all three of them are assholes. Also I consider any yelling at a person as jerk behavior. Screaming at someone over the phone or in their face accomplishes what exactly? I'd call bs on the ex being a psychologist but I met a woman who was a therapist and w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 07:15 PM
24

I believe Gift of Fear debunks the whole abuse perpetuates abuse (both physical and sexual) thing too. Not all abusers have a history of being abused. Also abusers enjoy lying and exaggerating so who knows if what they say is even true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 02:04 PM
2

Yeah I know haha oh well it's OK it's just votes. I do agree with you though. It could be her boyfriend, but there's nothing in this video indicating that they even know each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 02:30 AM
65

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 02:28 AM
6

We don't, I was wondering this too. I think it's a joke about those videos where the boyfriend keeps walking, but this is just some footage of an accident.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 01:11 AM
9

We don't know that's her boyfriend though? Looks just like street footage from an apartment and a joke about how boyfriends walk blocks before noticing his girlfriend is gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 01:10 AM
20

You make the first move if you're interested. Go at your own speed. Many women will just wait and nothing happens and the conversation dies out. We need to be more forward with each other and openly communicate. We're so conditioned to not make others feel uneasy or pressured though that it's more typical for a lot of talking back and forth before anything happens. I've only ever been asked out by one woman. So yeah if you have an interest in someone and you want something to happen, you have to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:41 AM
12

I was going to ask about that. I tend to ask what type of food they prefer to eat and if they have any allergies. The rest I'm fine with though, I love picking out places to take people out, even friends. I would just hate to pick a place only for her to absolutely hate Greek food or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:34 AM
12

It goes beyond just dating men too. Being single, regardless of sexual orientation is seen as sad or bad or questionable. I'd like to find a partner, but I also really enjoy my time single. I do so much, whereas historically I find I lose part of myself when I get into a relationship. I know that if I ever had another relationship I won't let that happen, and so if that means being single, then that's what I'll choose. People seem baffled that you can have a fulfilling life without being in a re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:26 AM
4

Hopefully! I find if usually boils down to how the child values money and their relationship with it. It could vary from child to child but hopefully they remember some of the hard work that was required to obtain everything they now have and were taught not to take it for granted or appreciate their position in life. They were pretty young though I believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 01:28 PM
32

Ugh I had forgotten about that. The fact that they called him kind pissed me off so much. Yes, let's call a dehumanizing, barbaric, prolific serial killer "kind". Super makes sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 04:53 AM
8

Only ever be with people who show up when they say they will. People only get so many chances to be a flake. If they cancel plans then it better come with a good reason, an apology, and a suggestion to reschedule.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 03:27 AM
17

lol why would you mention your mother in a dating app profile?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 02:47 AM
22

Still not convinced it isn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 02:37 AM
67

The amount of shit behavior a man can do and get called a "good guy" is honestly ridiculous. My aunt was talking about this man and he basically screwed up his marriage and family and took off and blamed the wife and she just took it all on and never told the kids or anyone else the truth, to protect him, for years and years. Then she was like "but you know he's a good man." Like what?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 01:40 AM
58

And that's on top of raising their many children and I'm sure she took care of the domestic labor. And then he left her for a gross age gap relationship. Trying to argue this leads nowhere on Reddit though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 01:37 AM
42

"I mean, I'm starting to though because of how much they accuse me of hating them." Hahaha. Seriously though. Like we don't have to deal with men just because we don't date them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 08:04 PM
207

It's because not centering a man in your life is considered as hate. Omg this is so true. This is why lesbians are immediately labeled man haters!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 05:43 PM
22

Wow he has that dead eye stare and everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:36 PM
7

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:23 PM
2

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:08 PM
7

I like this. I think I'll write these out for myself too, solidify the information so that it's an immediate thought after any "reaching out" plans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 08:56 PM
49

He is probably aiming too high in the looks department. Or he's giving off desperation vibes and I have found that women can sense that a mile away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 03:47 AM
20

Wow that is incredibly impressive. Well done!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:03 PM
9

Agreed. I feel that forcing children to be inclusive of everyone is teaching them that they are not allowed boundaries. That they are powerless in society and what's worse than being a bully or violent or whatever, is being exclusive. There is nothing wrong with being exclusive sometimes. It's not a bad word. Not everyone deserves to be in your life. You have that power, that voice, that decision making ability and it's our right to use it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 01:34 AM
3

I was also really glad he spoke out about all the fanfare his fictional character got. It was frankly really disturbing to hear women gush over this man. I even thought the show did a fantastic job of pointing out just how hypocritical and ridiculous all of his inner self reasoning was. Yet still... it made me sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 01:32 AM
1

You'd have to be a complete sociopath to be able to fake all of these things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:24 PM
30

Also asks you to be free in the same couple of days after just returning and being available. Totally on his timeline.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 03:59 PM
154

The new societal trend is to be inclusive at absolutely any cost. Usually a woman's safety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 01:29 PM
13

Like all the fanfare the serial killer from You got. It's so gross and weird, I'll never understand the "he's just misunderstood and needs love" reasoning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 05:53 PM
37

Or hate themselves and seek out dangerous situations as a form of self harm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 05:51 PM
44

Men are REALLY GOOD at pretending they like to listen to the mind numbing drivel that comes out of women's mouths. They're actually not really good at this at all, seeing as they constantly monopolize conversations, interrupt, talk over and plain out ignore women when they speak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 01:04 AM
56

This has always bothered me. I told my friend something and she told her boyfriend, and then her boyfriend made a comment/joke with the information in public. I was pretty upset she told him. I was then told that it's natural for whatever you say to one partner to be shared with the other. Like what? I don't understand this. I've never done this and was taken aback that it was seen as normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 01:21 AM
2

Yeah so true. Who knows what actually went on during this conversation. Jumping to vasectomy and then also to the slap. But I do feel like this relationship is over no matter who said what and why at this point. It's tough to come back from this kind of mindset. He now thinks she wants him sterilized.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 01:12 AM
4

Yeah I also think, just based on this account of the events, that they are both right and wrong in their own way. If nothing else, it just feels like their relationship is over because there isn't a compromise for their needs. I just felt like there is a reason that she jumped straight to vasectomy which is not really something people talk about as an option. So that was my guess. She can absolutely tell him to wear a condom and would likely be the first choice, which is why I'm skeptical that i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 12:52 AM
26

They don't think or ponder about why but I do think they believe it. Just as some natural innate thing about men versus women. I had some old dude hit on me when he was intoxicated and told me I wasn't like other girls. When I asked what he meant by that, he told me some answer, then I asked what he meant by that answer, etc. Eventually he ended up on "men are just better than women", I asked at what and he said "you know, everything". He had no reason for thinking this way, he couldn't tell me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 12:44 AM
19

He didn't mention it, but I am going to go ahead and assume that he wants to continue to have sex without a condom because that is how they have sex since she's on the pill. But to get pregnant she would have to stop taking the pill. So to continue having sex with him, getting pregnant from a sperm donor and not his child, he'd have to get a vasectomy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 12:31 AM
151

Personally gambling on whatever Reddit feels like doing isn't worth the hard work and time and patience I put in to earn what I have. The human in me is jealous about people making huge gains with little care or work, but what I've done so far has worked for me and will continue to work after this is over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 09:10 PM
78

Given feedback? Are you an employee of his or something? If you are immediately trying to change someone in the dating phase then probably realize it's not the person for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 06:51 PM
142

Wow in the middle of a date?! I've had it happen at clubs, dance with a woman, she lives for a split minute, comes back with some ugly ass man. But a date, just wow. That makes it feel even more like some sort of pimping out arrangement or where the women are essentially recruiters for men to get lesbians. Gross in any event. I'm sorry that happened to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 03:04 PM
16

Men's opinions are a turn off for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:52 AM
11

Dogs are fantastic animals. So are cats. So are other pets. You get the pet that suits your lifestyle the best and that you are willing and able to take care of. I don't think choosing one over the other means much of anything at face value. If they hate animals, that's a concern, but if it's just that they don't want pets, there could be so many reasons. If they love pets and have one and can't take care of it or let it get obese/unhealthy or neglect it, that's worse than choosing not to have o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:32 PM
2

I love investing and I could talk about it all day, but only if you actually want to talk about investing. Most people want to talk about the latest stock or hype some company or brag about their performance. Not interested. I also don't give "stock tips" because I don't want to be responsible for someone else's portfolio. Investing is my second job. I put research and work into it and do well, so I don't really want hot tips from some guy on a company where he can't even explain the product. My…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:31 AM
5

That's fair. I mean I'll never have children myself and if women decided to stop having children across the world I wouldn't object. But in the context I spoke of, I'm not sure where I was backing up the subjugation of women and it was a bit confusing/insulting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 11:57 PM
50

What subjugation of women do you think I was talking about? Pretty sure having pain while on your period and while giving birth are completely natural occurrences? I feel that you misread my comment entirely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:24 PM
171

Finding a doctor the listens to you is such an incredible experience. I'm so glad you got officially diagnosed and validated. We know our bodies and doctors need to listen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:23 PM
76

That is horrible, I am so sorry you went through that. I also went through a medical emergency where I was not believed by my dad or the male doctors. The feeling of helplessness of being young and in pain and consistently dismissed by caregivers is something I still carry with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:21 PM
241

As sad as it is to say it, being a woman means being in pain. We can be the healthiest woman on earth and still be in pain once a month for one to several days. It's our reality. So as a baseline, our concept of pain is higher than men's. And to your point, for humanity to continue as a species, women need to take on even more pain than what is already handed to them as a default.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:15 PM
1650

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 02:17 PM
17

If you’ve ever dated and not been serious at all you can spot these flags. This is so true that I'm almost embarrassed for not realizing sooner, but after reading FDS it hit me so fast. When I had a crush on someone unavailable (I know, I know) I was trying to date to forget about it. I'd just wear whatever, including hoodies. But then when it came to having a friendly lunch with my crush during work hours I dressed up the best that I could. The difference in effort should have been obvious, as …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 01:40 PM
44

Even if he let you live there for free, I'd be concerned that he'd say "Remember when I let you live at my place for free?" every time he wanted something. He seems like that kind of guy. I'm glad you had another (better) option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 01:36 PM
33

I do agree about being single and the coworkers are the extended family bit. You will definitely be lonely if all you have is work and no life outside of it, like close relationships (not necessarily a partner) and some hobbies/passions. I don't think being single makes people lonely and depressed, but living for work sure does. At least in my experience. And I love my job. There just needs to be more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:50 AM
3

If you feel that someone rejecting you as a mentor means they are rejecting you as a person, you should not be a mentor. And he claims to have emotional Intelligence...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 06:14 AM
10

That entire post may as well be the definition of grooming. Get him out of the house before he hurts the daughter more than he already has. And before he teaches the son more than he already has.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 05:47 AM
26

"Oh you are such an illness." That was perfect lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 04:01 PM
1

For me what changed is that I started thinking about all the women in my life that I was serious about courting and I took them all to dinner. When I was interested in a woman and offered drinks, coffee or a walk, afterwards I just never really felt much of anything romantically. Maybe it's a coincidence. In any case, now I just don't want to feel like I have one foot out the door already by being scared of a date lasting too long and also having the confidence to cut a date short if it really i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 05:22 AM
15

I never wear makeup. That doesn't mean I don't take care of myself. And I'm for sure going to wear PJs at home whenever I want to. I think it's a big jump to conclude that taking care of yourself means wearing makeup and never dressing for sheer comfort even in your own home. For me taking care of myself means getting exercise, eating well, washing and good hygiene, a style that suits me and feeling good about how I present myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 03:00 AM
6

Hey this is very similar to companies and how they've made it taboo to talk about your salary and benefits. Hmmm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 05:59 PM
3

He wanted you to re-ask the questions you had already asked instead of just, you know, answering them? And then the self congratulating after doing nothing? Ew. Well done setting a boundary when he flaked. The behavior to flake last minute or be late for everything never gets better in my opinion. You deserve much better than some self described lazy guy who can't be asked to even show up to a lackadaisical "date" that he suggested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 04:56 PM
8

And highly accessible and you can run into it without even looking. You're unlikely to run into trying heroin by happenstance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 04:47 PM
16

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:40 PM
12

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 01:47 PM
6

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 01:27 PM
28

I've done it once and it was alright but it felt more friendly than romantic. I really enjoy going for walks but I think these kinds of dates make me feel too much of a friends vibe to continue dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 04:30 AM
14

Deep fakes are a huge problem for women and girls. Anyone in the public eye can be targeted and have deep fakes created and distributed to shame them. One Indian journalist for example was being threatened after a deep fake porn video of her was released online. When I try to talk to people about this they just seem to shrug. The men make jokes and then women harp on about how it's so wrong that women are still shamed for doing porn. Like seriously? That's what you're going to be arguing here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 03:28 AM
2

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 03:27 PM
54

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 03:24 PM
3

Oh ok no worries! Thank you I appreciate the reply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 04:59 AM
5

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 12:55 AM
27

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 12:28 AM
3

Awesome job!! And then you realize his "offer" was basically just trying to get you to sleep with him while he looked for a woman he wants to have a relationship with. So not really an offer at all, since you'd be doing him a favor until he was ready to move on. Good for you for standing by your boundaries!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 11:55 PM
33

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 11:32 PM
23

Same reason why there are more searches for International Men's Day on International Women's Day than other days, including IMD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:08 AM
118

Something about a man yelling always really upsets me. Anyone yelling upsets me, but especially a man at a woman or a child. Maybe it's the physical intimidation on the top of it, but I immediately want to rescue the object of their anger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 03:50 AM
5

Every woman should read this book. I recommend it to everyone I talk to. It was a fantastic read, I think I finished it in a couple of days. It explained so much in my past, about how I managed to get myself out of potentially dangerous situations just by trusting myself. You will never regret trusting yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 01:35 AM
11

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:37 AM
10

"Playing devil's advocate." is really just "Let me be an asshole for something I don't really believe in." or "Let me defend someone I've never met before over your experiences and feelings." If you don't agree with a point, why are you defending it? And if you do agree with it, why not just go out and say that you agree with it? It's disingenuous. Just like these DMs. They don't want to know, they just want to start a conversation and waste your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 11:43 PM
1

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:58 PM
3

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:54 PM
13

It's become a super common tactic. They used to say it all the time regarding GenderCritical and other such places.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:29 PM
46

omg yes and on that note I wish every YouTube video had a transcript. I'm so tired of watching 5mins for less than 10 steps I could read in no time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 02:17 AM
7

Serious question, how are you supposed to drink out of this without spilling anything?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 12:12 AM
16

Even if most don't want us to be scared, all benefit from the men who do scare us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 11:27 PM
16

Yeah it sucks but I could totally see this guy trying different dates/times after she didn't meet him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 11:24 PM
11

Enough men that all men benefit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 03:32 PM
3

Yes! Totally with you on this one. I no longer explain my sexuality to men. They aren't actually interested in the reply as a genuine curiosity anyway. They're just being gross or want to prove something to you. Usually that they can "turn" you or something similar. No thank you! I have dropped many male friends because of such comments or questions and my life is the better for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:35 AM
5

I'm disappointed but not surprised by the results. I see what you are saying though, that they could do some research or find out more based on the results. Just the title made it seem kind of like porn was useful at education based on a study. But it's not the result of a study it's the result of a survey. I'm probably just nit picking here haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:23 AM
6

Is this really science? It sounds more like a survey. It's not saying that it is helpful, just that these demographics think it is helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:59 AM
46

Women are so high maintenance!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:49 AM
5

Can't be real. Who would do this? "I love her." but with conditions, clearly. Who are you to tell someone their hobby is wrong or bad. Also why does he think she has such amazing skin? She obviously takes care of it. Holy fuck. This kind of man cannot stand that she is happy with something he sees no value in. And then the justifications at the end and calling HER dramatic. He's the dramatic one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:15 AM
6

Oh yeah he was a real trip. That was my self hate and extreme denial phase where I dated men I didn't care about that were way too old for me. I met him later too where he gave me this sob story about how screwed up he was from dating me and that his new girlfriend had to heal him. How did I screw him up? By not having sex with him. We dated for four months. But yeah, I broke up with him because I fell for my friend in a real way and just couldn't ignore it anymore. I didn't even know about the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 10:46 PM
13

A man I broke up with when I was a teenager and he was in his 20s told me I was messed up and needed psychological help. This was one part of a five part anger message after I broke it off. I later found out that before I broke up with him he and his friend were torturing a rat and after I broke it off he went back to the rat and broke its neck. But I'm the one who was messed up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:35 PM
27

I dislike texting for too long. I do it more now because of quarantine but I'd much rather meet in person. I feel like it's the consistency of it. And also your personal standards. What do YOU need out of someone with regards to texting? Some of mine? If they don't text you often but when you are together they are constantly checking and replying on their phone, that's a hard no for me. If they randomly stop texting you mid conversation and then just as randomly start off with "hey" or some comp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 12:06 AM
7

Ever since I learned about attachment styles and intermittent reinforcement my whole world in regards to relationships was pushed wide open. It was like so many things became clear. I currently have a crush (I know, I know) that I just cannot shake and this is how she is. We get close and talk and share things and she reaches out and then, without warning, just stops replying and responding and in some cases blew me off completely. Eventually she comes back. Less so now though. But now I know th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 09:07 PM
58

Losing people who bring you down makes space for people who will rise with you. It's scary, and unfamiliar, and lonely if it happens quickly, but it's also liberating and a relief. Like you can breath fresh air for the first time. The difference between spending someone who finds a way to tear you down or pick at your insecurities and spending time with someone who points out your strengths and lifts you up is incredible. Thankfully I haven't been outright hated by many people. The only person I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:55 PM
6

I have never had a good feeling from someone who described their previous partner(s) as crazy. It always made me suspicious even before FDS. Like why are they even bringing it up? It feels manipulative. Like they "hope" I'm not "crazy" like their exes so I better watch myself/my actions. Same as if they constantly bring up a cheating partner. I refuse to be judged by the actions of someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:43 PM
120

She also died for nothing. The riot/protest accomplished nothing and was mostly dispersed at curfew time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:51 AM
31

Way overdue. Strangling someone is physical violence, which is already illegal. Why we make exceptions because it's tied to sex is beyond me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:48 AM
5

If I hadn't personally witnessed a similar shit show, I would have thought this was too ridiculous to be true. Pretty much guarantee she has a verbally or emotionally abusive father and extremely low self esteem/worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 01:53 AM
10

Yeah I'd be suspect of any social media display. Most people just put whatever will get the most views or likes or popularity. Also a lot of these men seem to just be repeating things women have been saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:45 AM
3

Yes!! Please. Men treat your no with reasons as something to bargain down to a yes. No is enough. Say it as often and as loudly as needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 11:54 PM
7

Men are really out there arguing that sexualizing a child is for the greater good LOL I'm sorry if I didn't laugh, I'd just cry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 11:47 PM
9

He sounds cheap. She sounds out of his league. Hopefully she doesn't fall for his eventual switcheroo. What exactly is he spending money on that 6k/year would be a huge hit financially when he takes home 80k a year? He could be living for 3k/year and still make more in take home than most people do in salary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 11:24 PM
5

And has SO many awards. So ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 11:11 PM
72

Agreed, seems like common courtesy to ensure someone is safe. Or they could even just have forgotten/lost their keys or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 09:43 PM
265

I do this with everyone I drop off and never thought it wasn't a thing until someone pointed it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 06:39 PM
16

I couldn't even read all the comments. Parenting advice from Reddit. This generation is going to be so messed up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:34 PM
7

True. I was convinced before Grimes but now you really just can't refute it at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:12 PM
36

He sure is. After three in a row, it stops being a coincidence and becomes an established pattern. It's purposeful and it's disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 06:03 PM
14

I'm not an expert on heels, but I once got into a debate with two men about where/how heels make you sore when you wear them for too long or walk in them too far. Until I realized they were men and had never worn a pair of heels in their lives, yet were telling me about how I was wrong about my actual experiences. I've also been explained the patriarchy, which I feel we are all experts on. There is also a game where I have logged way too many hours in and was getting lectured on strategies and b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 04:33 PM
4

Yes!! It's a great gut check. Do you feel at all ambivalent about the person and/or situation? If so, something is wrong and either needs clarification or for you to leave. I could have definitely used this for my last job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:43 PM
3

This is really the best advice. For anyone you want to introduce into your life, even friends. I don't need to agonize over how someone feels about me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:27 PM
92

It's a total power move. He specifically goes after talented, intelligent and successful women and breaks them down into what he wants. It happens slowly but it happens eventually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:02 PM
3

Does he ever have physical access to your phones? And were they Android or iPhone or a mix of both?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 07:49 PM
32

And he's not even in school or cleaning the house. He's literally useless. Less than because he likely makes a mess and expects her to cook for him too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:48 PM
7

You're not bothering me at all. Just curious, but what kind of devices has he done this on? And when he tells you what you're looking at, are they specifically things you have typed into the Google search engine or have viewed using Chrome specifically, while logged into your Google account? Google tracks a ridiculous amount of history about us. Someone with access to your Google account can know a lot about what you're doing. Just trying to narrow down if he's into your devices or just into you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:03 AM
10

Apologies if you already received advice or know all of this, but this kind of stuff really gets to me, so I'm going to post it just in case. If he keeps getting in despite changing your password, then like another poster mentioned, he likely has software installed. If he never had physical access to your computer or phone, then it was likely done through a successful phishing attack where clicking on a link installed the malware. If this is the case, then I would consider switching to a new ema…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:26 AM
3

I'm not a big fan of read receipts (unless it's for work and I need to know that someone opened an email) so I have them turned off. But I don't randomly turn them on either. That is kind of weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:35 AM
53

He sounds resentful as well so I doubt he's being kind and caring while she's just mean and yelling either. Probably yelling from both sides.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 12:30 AM
55

Out of context it seems like this quote is arguing this point but I believe she is pointing out how society treats women. How women are treated as a second class to men, as the other, while men are always assumed the default. Essentially what Invisible Women lays out with data.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 01:51 AM
9

Ask yourself if this man will bring any positive value to your life. You had one conversation with him and are already agonizing over it and what it means and it clearly brought up some bad memories. I think you already know what to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:08 PM
48

She asked him to provide for himself, not for her, and he couldn't even do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 08:37 PM
19

I'm worried about her now that he knows she is thinking of leaving. There is a high probability that it will be the tipping point for physical abuse, especially since he issued threats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 05:09 AM
45

This dawned on me when I was on the niceguys subreddit and OP posted some gross DM about nudes posted to gonewild. They were a woman's nudes and the OP's text said "don't assume the poster is a woman". I was so disgusted. Some guy was posting a woman's nudes on gonewild and then somehow made the DM guy out to be the gross one. They're both gross. And I realized that you cannot trust that any of the nude pictures are uploaded by the woman in the picture. Most probably aren't, since sharing nudes …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 04:51 AM
8

Just another way to try and rationalize aggressive men and not only why it isn't their fault that they are so aggressive, it's actually a good thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:21 PM
12

Wow nothing makes me want to date someone more than getting a message from an unknown number because they got a hold of mine in some sketchy way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 05:31 AM
340

This one is actually a happy ending story for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:03 AM
9

It reminded me of the Grey's episode where this man could only calm down if he was watching porn. So ridiculous lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:12 AM
10

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 12:28 AM
2

I love your viewpoint!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 04:11 AM
1

But owning property doesn't immediately make it a good money move. That's all I was saying. And I was mostly replying to your comment about those specific things being bad money moves. And disagree with the saying "paying someone else's mortgage" as I've always found it to be a manipulative tactic to convince people that buying is always better. Too many sleazy real estate agents used it on me. My mistake on the credit part in your post, I read debt! Apologies on that. I don't care about him. An…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 02:04 AM
29

He has a wife and four kids, why is he concerned about seeming charming?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 12:42 AM
8

I love this. My moonshot goal is similar to yours. I'd like to own and operate my own wealth fund in five years and have the proceeds go to fund women's shelters and anything related to support abused women and children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 06:46 AM
18

Totally agree. Why anyone would take them at their word is beyond me. And honestly it's repeated so often I believed it too! Reading The Gift of Fear was incredibly eye opening. I just love how he blew away all the garbage we hear every day that are told as facts but are just stories people tell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 06:44 AM
44

The Gift of Fear refutes that claim anyway. That it keeps getting repeated as a fact is so frustrating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 04:47 AM
5

Renting isn't always a bad money move. You can accumulate wealth while renting. I've done it quite successfully. No car is also not a bad money move. A car is a depreciating asset that just sinks cash. If you can get around without one (and I don't mean taking Ubers) you can save thousands a year. Not sure why having no debt is a bad money move. There is smart debt though. So it depends. Not defending this guy cause he is probably full of shit but I disagree with your assessment that any of thes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 03:16 AM
28

I'm curious how they don't smell it themselves...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 10:27 PM
71

It's not difficult to stop, that's a lie. If they don't stop it's because they think their needs are more important than yours and your consent to what's happening. It's really that easy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 08:07 PM
37

Even if she doesn't have a job and can live off savings, what's wrong with that? People shouldn't have to apologize for being born. She could have also saved enough herself to live off investments, like I've done. I technically don't need to work, I choose to because I enjoy it. We don't know anything about her. She could be a lovely person and she seems to really enjoy writing. Good for her for not putting up with this sort of jealous and insecure attitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 04:53 PM
127

He was willing to let her continue her successful writing career? Get out of here. How petty and controlling. I'm upset on her behalf just reading that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 04:28 PM
35

Hell I'm into women and I'd still love a platonic/sexless domestic partnership with another woman. Ever since I read about seven women who bought this mansion together it's been my dream!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 06:36 PM
76

I love that they are already imagining a divorce to the wife they haven't married yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 06:33 PM
12

I bought a promise ring for my girlfriend in university after our first year of dating. It was her birth stone and silver band, about 135$ if I remember correctly. I didn't really have money but I barely spent on anything. That was worth it to me. I'd be embarrassed to give a woman a ring pop. Even just as a ring pop by itself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 03:03 PM
3

There have been men in my life that I thought were friends but kept disrespecting me and my girlfriend(s) by making suggestive comments or straight up sexual comments. They also would often comment on my girlfriend's looks. Sometimes they think that because you're also into women you're a "bro" and equally want to treat other women like objects or goalposts. Stating I am a lesbian has hardly ever dettered a man. If straight women use it, it also leads to men thinking they can "turn" lesbians. In…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 02:12 AM
5

Good for her! She tried setting boundaries and they flat out refused, so no it's not petty, it's a lesson. And they still didn't get it. I wouldn't bother going back for a visit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 01:15 PM
5

There aren't any rules on which platforms to use, it's just what Snap is known for that's usually the issue. Personally I still use it with friends and family to share pictures and videos of trips and my dog.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 01:06 PM
6

Tbh I still use it with my family because it's the easiest and fastest way to send pictures to as many or few people at a time and my mom loves it. But I get the reasons why it's considered a suspicious app.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 01:05 PM
7

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 01:01 PM
4

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 12:56 PM
6

Can you report it to Reddit admins? Not the subreddit mods though that's probably not going to work. It's against Reddit rules and now I'm just scared for this woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 12:45 PM
7

I find my sexuality a good gauge for male friends. If they know I'm a lesbian and never disrespect it or mock it or try to get me to talk/act the way they do, they are keepers. They also need to never have hit on me or acted like they own me in any way (i.e get jealous of other male friends). So I have one male best friend of almost twenty years. I have another male friend that I am vetting now for the last year or two and so far so good, although he's not as receptive/supportive/understanding a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 02:11 PM
4

If marriage is something she wants and talks about, this is absolutely cruel. Not something you do to someone you care for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 02:06 PM
8

I'd block on the texting alone. A randomly capitalized letter, "u" for you and so many shortened words. It always reads as lazy and uninterested in putting in effort. Instant turn off no matter the content.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 02:52 AM
99

I know she didn't mean it that way, but that really hurt my feelings. Something tells me this woman does everything deliberately with intent and she meant it the exact way it sounded. She sounds amazing and was likely extremely unappreciated in the relationship. His loss. Can't believe how together and straightforward this woman is, I'd love to have someone this motivated and clear headed in my life. You two don't communicate well Did he not read the OP's post? This woman communicates unequivoca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 07:58 PM
14

The rebirth years start now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 11:42 PM
49

Upvote for hitting your stride at 30, happened for me as well. Since then my best days have continued to be my most present days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 11:41 PM
2

"And if it was mine, I bought it for secret santa! Can't you take a joke? Women just aren't funny!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:34 AM
218

Just saw a presentation of a homicide case where the killer boyfriend joked about killing his girlfriend and putting her in a body bag by the river. Guess what he did and where he left her body. This isn't a joke, it's premeditated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 04:37 AM
17

It's more than the education. It's the networking, the connections, etc. You'll meet people there you'd never get a chance to talk to otherwise. They'll also have access to all the top employers. It opens doors on top of being a great education.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 11:36 PM
25

Agreed. People who become addicts despite having a good family that has security/money will continue to be addicts as long as the people around them are more than happy to clean up the mess and keep giving chances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 11:33 PM
21

If the mother gives this money away after she said no, she will never trust her mom to protect or defend her or have her best interest at heart ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 11:30 PM
19

OMG he asked the daughter!! Asking a fifteen year old to save your adult son in the shitstorm mess he caused for himself. Imagine. This is triggering me hard. My brother was also useless and drug addicted and an alcoholic and he stole from me many, many times. My parents always pleaded with me to talk with him and to set boundaries but I was young and I didn't know what to do when he cornered me and begged. Or broke into my room and stole my savings. Adults putting that kind of pressure on a tee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 11:27 PM
18

But then there is that image going around to accept a spontaneous proposal so the guy doesn't get his feelings hurt or embarrassed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 11:12 PM
6

My instinct is either this is fake (because it's so ridiculous and no workplace would allow this, plus the use of "woman" which men often mixup woman/women for some reason) or she found a vibrator and he lied about it being for secret santa.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 11:05 PM
3

Yeah the normalization of huge age gaps in the media is so... odd. And honestly something I never noticed or thought much about until I started following FDS. It's crazy how programmed we are by what we are shown repeatedly. People think it's normal. Or worse, expected. I am watching Grey's Anatomy and it's almost exclusively age gap and/or power gap relationships. There are very few relationships that are on even footing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 10:47 PM
12

It's not just online. I find this happens when people talk of some third party anonymous man. People just want to defend him and make sure he's understood and not being taken advantage of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 12:44 AM
9

I also like the banana and love the banana tasting medicine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 12:39 AM
26

I love this sub. Such a huge contrast from everywhere else. I was essentially told I traumatized a guy for not sleeping with him after four months of dating. He unloaded on me when he ran into me on the street one day, about how his new girlfriend needed to heal him or some garbage. And then online I was blamed for hurting him and making him insecure and giving him issues. Please lol. Never mind the fact I was 17 and he was in his mid 20s and he cheated on me with a coworker who was a year young…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:34 AM
69

It's not "cheating" when it's a minor. It's rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 01:14 PM
46

The one that implored men to be better. It was about toxic masculinity. Men really hate being reminded about it and there was tons of whining over a very tame commercial.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:11 AM
14

What fantastic advice. I agree about the messy mind, messy house. Or maybe even vice versa. My place is nice now, but I'm going to use this for other things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:52 AM
53

Yes I wish we would get rid of tips. It's now expected to pay 20% or more in tip. Pretty soon you'll have to double your bill as a tip. It's a great cop out to push the wages straight to customers instead of actually having to give workers anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:52 PM
79

Why don't people talk about men communicating about these acts before performing them. You know, consent? The replies are almost as enraging as the act. Why would anyone suggest she ever get into bed with this man ever again? Basically telling her to give him a chance to assault her again after she's already traumatized. Disgusting. People should be ashamed of themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:12 PM
26

And he's probably not the one who picks up the groceries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:22 AM
52

I'm so happy you had an awesome birthday, surrounded by people who love you and treated you how you deserved! I've noticed a theme. Whenever a person is toxic to be around, they will take days that are for your happiness and either ruin them, or make it all about them, or both. Instead of putting their stuff aside and bringing you up, they'll bring up all the issues in the relationship and bring you down. They will think of your happiness as a direct insult to their unhappiness and bring you dow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:06 PM
49

You can tell how garbage poly is when the man only brings it up once he thinks he has a for sure prospect to sleep with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:37 AM
63

Good eye. The layout as well just seems not very modern. Not what I'd expect from someone making over a million in salary. And brown yellow the coloring of the wall. This reminds me of people who own expensive cars but live in run down houses. It's all for show when you're out and no one knows you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:49 AM
7

Yes, it's not often returned. With relationships I'll typically put a bit more into it, like once my girlfriend (at the time) asked if I knew of any tools to do something on her computer but there were none, so I programmed it and gave it to her on her birthday. But I do try to match that level with very close friendships, the ones I know go the extra mile for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:43 AM
11

Pranks are humiliating and not funny. Who wants to be publically embarrassed on such a sensitive subject? Complete lack of empathy and compassion. Hope she dumps him and tells her family off. Or dumps them too. Anyone ever do this to me I would never speak to them again. No exceptions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:13 PM
6

He admits he's using a picture that isn't her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:56 PM
20

Hahaha I'm flattered. Side note that I very much enjoy being a woman and would never trade it in! It's not easy, but the ability to connect with other women the way that men can't makes it worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 08:15 PM
38

I do this too!! Anytime they mention something that they either like or love, or that seems important to them, I write it down. I take a note to get them for it later, if they're having a bad day, or to ask them about it or how it's going. Even things like favorite coffee order. The little things matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:09 PM
91

My mom used to do this for me as a kid. I didn't ask for things I wanted most of the time, she just "magically" knew, because she paid attention to me. I now do this for anyone I care about, not just romantic partners. Your friends appreciate it too! You can't do it for absolutely everyone because it's a decent mental and emotional load, but people I genuinely care about and would reciprocate are worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:59 PM
65

intermittent reinforcement Thank you!! I was trying to remember the term for it to look it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:18 PM
233

I was reading how this on and off switching causes an addiction and erratic behavior trying to replicate the "good" things that caused them to be kind to us. I can't find the article now, but they did a study with chickens where they gave them treats based on good behavior, timing, or just whenever they felt like it. All the chickens in the "whenever they felt like it" camp went crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:21 PM
1

Sounds kind of wishy-washy. I'm pretty laid back for many things but lack of timelines for goals tells me they aren't actually planning anything. No plan means no action. It's not rushing to have a conversation about the when. If your timelines don't fit they just don't. You wanted it in the near future and he was OK with a "we'll see in five years or so". Accepting that is settling. Plus what happens in five years when he pushes it again because he hasn't met his personal goals yet?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:17 AM
11

Can confirm that it's learned from how you are treated growing up. I was really spoiled and my mom did almost everything for both my brother and I. I was really useless when I was young and it took a while for me to appreciate the quality of life in a clean and tidy home. There is no going back now though, my tidy home is wonderful and makes me so happy. Disclaimer that I never had roaches or any rotting food. Just general untidyiness and poorly decored places and clothes/stuff all over the floo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:03 AM
19

My dad never treated me differently than my brother and growing up, I didn't realize I would be marginalized for being a woman. He stood up for me when I was little. I remember once when I walked up to a dunk booth and the men laughed at me when I picked up the ball. I was so young I didn't understand why they were laughing at me. But I also had been playing baseball for years and I had a pretty good arm. My dad encouraged me to throw it and told me I could do it. They stopped laughing pretty fa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:44 AM
6

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:35 AM
5

That was my gripe as well. Someone asked if it was based on a true story and I went on a rant about how there is absolutely no way a woman would have gotten such support and respect from men now, let alone in the 1960s. Great show though. I love chess and it was was an enjoyable watch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 04:16 AM
27

"Same place you get your audacity."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 05:19 PM
2

It sounds like how they write resumes. I was reading a coop's resume before an interview and the amount of programming languages he was (and I quote) "proficient" in would have made him a thirty year veteran in software engineering with a niche in cryptography. One of the lines was actually how he implemented a hashing algorithm. He probably just imported a library and then used a one liner, but he wrote it sounding like he designed it. Not surprising it transcribes to online dating profiles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 04:52 AM
1

My pleasure! I hope it's helpful :) cheers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:36 PM
2

I have read and loved so many books on my journey to self improvement, but here is a short list that really stood out. The book The Power of Habits changed my life. How the brain works on habits and that you can replace bad ones with good ones. The book 10% Happier really got me into meditation, which has helped my anxiety and stress. Talent is Overrated was pretty powerful coupled with The Power of Habits. The idea of not just practice, but dedicated and deliberate practice over a period of tim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 02:36 AM
16

That was a really upsetting video. Whenever I see a man put his hand on the back of a woman's neck like she's an animal needing to be controlled I get tense and upset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 02:25 AM
3

A fantastic book that every woman should read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 02:22 AM
1

Unfortunately nothing trauma related, but was there anything in particular you'd be interested in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 05:50 PM
26

Sounds like the start of limerence. Essentially infatuation and love addiction. He probably fulfills one or more of her deep rooted needs. It turns unhealthy very quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 04:44 PM
5

If you search that exact title on pdfdrive you should be able to find a free download! I just didn't know if those kinds of links were allowed on the sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:40 PM
17

I did find a copy on pdfdrive.com available for download: Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror I'm not sure if my linking it would be against site rules. But personally I borrowed it from the library to read it. Not sure if that is an option for you. I always promote the library, it has so much information and our taxes pay for it. I've saved tons of money on books.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 02:54 PM
9

Yes, the moment I realized these clowns were actually being serious was the moment I realized how far we'd fallen. I swear we got maybe a few years of actual calm and hope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 02:53 PM
39

Unfortunately many men think they, too, are lesbians.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:42 AM
24

I have never heard of euchre being a bro hobby! Interesting. My entire family plays cards and a bunch of my friends do too. We are actually having a tournament at work and it's pretty evenly split gender wise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:41 AM
95

The book Trauma and Recovery really opened my eyes to this and all the travesties. So horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:04 AM
2

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 01:54 PM
4

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 02:17 AM
28

Wow that was a really impressive rant. Unfortunately I was also addicted to gaming in my past life and everything she says is so true. It's neglectful and hurtful to your partner to come second to a game or a raid or whatever. I didn't see it at the time, but I do now. And I didn't see it then because that's exactly what it was: an addiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 06:34 PM
13

Some of these are definitely in response to my need to protect myself. Which I am working on. Mostly I want to be more clear about boundaries and expectations before it gets to the part where I feel like I need to protect myself and act this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 01:32 PM
3

Same. I don't think it even exists. They've just managed to create the illusion of a dichotomy, when really there is a whole lot of grey area.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 05:40 AM
5

Beautifully put. Could not have said it any better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 01:00 AM
5

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 12:53 AM
34

Neither. Radical feminism is the one FDS aligns with the most, and radical feminism disagrees with Conservatives (a woman's body is private property) and Liberals (a woman's body is public property) because both ends of the spectrum conclude that women are some form of property. But in terms of policies and laws, radical feminism is left leaning (pro abortion rights and pro LGB rights, for example). Political leanings have fooled women into thinking that it's a choice between having to be owned …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 05:49 PM
44

I'm starting to think most people don't fundamentally understand how babies are born.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 05:37 PM
33

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 04:25 AM
32

Seriously. I remember my ex trying to convince me to have sex with him and he was talking about how he and an ex would do it "doggy style" and watch TV. Like what? I was so unimpressed. Legit asked how boring sex must be if they have to watch TV during it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 06:29 PM
22

They do. But they won't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:33 AM
15

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:03 AM
1

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 08:47 PM
25

Unless they hide their assets and then you're stuck with five kids and a ten year legal battle to get what you're entitled to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 07:28 PM
9

That is the bare minimum but it isn't a hundred percent effective either. The whole post is just gross really. Men like this procreating just makes me upset. EDIT: I'm even more upset about this now. I bet she's not enthused because he pressured her into this arrangement even though she was scared of getting pregnant and he reassured her that it was a foolproof plan if she just "kept on top of it". Now there's going to be one more kid in the world that has parents that never wanted it. This real…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 05:06 AM
130

Kid isn't even born yet and he wants to run away. All of the second point is just gross. She let you down? You had sex. That is how babies get born. Holy shit. Don't want a baby? Don't have sex. Pretty simple stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 04:48 PM
3

Agreed. Women will always see higher value in other women than they see in themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 01:28 PM
5

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 12:49 PM
2

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 12:31 PM
5

Tried looking for this series and there are so many videos on the negative effects of porn on the brain it's actually quite overwhelming. I didn't realize how much was out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 12:18 PM
49

Except when she called him out, he totally flipped the switch and acted like a regular adult to yell at her. Funny how they completely missed that part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 02:42 AM
35

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 04:10 AM
20

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 02:44 PM
8

Honestly never realized he was that kind of person until the last relationship he ended, when I spoke with her before she broke it off with him. He never was physically abusive but that's a low bar. Way too low. Mostly though, he is all of the things you mentioned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 09:04 PM
28

I'm so sorry they treated you this way. You're not a maid and your mother had no right to give your hard earned money to him. "Responsible adult" ugh. As if that could possibly be used to describe either of our brothers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 08:21 PM
37

Seems that way. I even paid my way through university and was debt free within five years. Meanwhile he was having the power cut off in his house and getting taken to court for money owed. He once tried to complain to me about his ex bringing him to court for child support and how he'd never forgive her for doing that. I told him to never, ever complain to me about having to financially support his own son. I realized recently that he's one of those guys that his exes are always the crazy or unr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 08:16 PM
65

My almost 40 year old brother still gets handheld by my parents because he's completely financially incapable. It's embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:41 PM
3

I am learning this lesson now. It's difficult because it's something I do automatically, but over time wears me down and makes me sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:26 PM
8

Yes they were all garbage. I don't know how anyone would ship any. But then again, some women thought the guy in "You" just needed love, so... The character with the most equal relationships was Willow by far. There was a lot of mutual respect and understanding in all of her relationships. No one making any huge unrequited sacrifices and neither trying to change the other. After I rewatched it recently, I actually noticed that they displayed a lot of stereotypes through the mythical aspect of th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:10 PM
24

Honestly all of Buffy's relationships are bad. Angel is super creepy, Riley is incredibly insecure, and Spike is aggressive and an attempted rapist. She's too strong willed for any of them and is never fully appreciated by a partner. The closest was Angel, but yeah, he was creepy. I also super hated Xander and he never improves throughout the show. Xander somehow gets these amazing women to fall in love with him and then sabotages his relationships at every turn. They give up so much for him and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 04:48 AM
15

Not even micro. He slammed the bathroom door because she told him to take a shower. And also flips her off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 04:39 AM
60

I am a horrible cook and the meal kits are extremely easy. You can even pick by difficulty if you really struggle. If you can't even cook something with the ingredients and amounts laid down in front of you, and the recipes only 5-6 steps long, that's just embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 11:56 PM
89

There was a Google graph showing searches for International Men's Day and how it spiked more on International Women's Day than their own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 03:50 AM
8

If someone is flaky with you, they're not interested. Act in a way that is professional, but also in the best way suited for you to forget about him as a potential romantic partner. If you don't need to interact with him in a work related way, then don't. He can go be flirtatious elsewhere and waste someone else's time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 03:47 AM
43

The shock doctrine is real: https://youtu.be/B3B5qt6gsxY In times of crisis, governments will use the fear and distraction of their citizens to their advantage and pass the laws they want under the cover of darkness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 10:09 PM
8

Cooking and hosting is (or at least should be) more work and energy than just going out and having a nice meal someone else makes for you while you just get to sit down and enjoy having a conversation. But I suppose if it takes you ten minutes to make it, you don't clean anything, not even the table, and serve it on a bland plate just thrown around everywhere, there's no energy wasted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 05:18 AM
27

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 03:04 AM
86

Isn't this a type of grooming? https://www.americanbar.org/groups/public_interest/child_law/resources/child_law_practiceonline/child_law_practice/vol-34/november-2015/understanding-sexual-grooming-in-child-abuse-cases/ telling a child sexually explicit jokes. discussing sexually explicit information under the guise of education. showing the child sexually explicit images. Basically normalizing sex and sexual conversations around children as a way to eventually initiate action. IMO this sounds li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 02:51 AM
2

Seems suspicious. Account was created today, just one post, no comments, not even to their own post. Guess it could be a throwaway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 02:34 AM
28

Wow that's disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 02:14 AM
20

That's a good point. I used to ask women out for drinks because I felt like it was less threatening to them, or an easier way to get together. Not really thinking about another perspective: That it's cheap, lazy, and that I'd aim to take advantage of the situation in some way. The dates never worked out. A large part is likely because of how I approached the first meet and that will be the first thing I fix should I decide to start dating again. Thanks to FDS though I'm taking the time to apprec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 05:22 PM
227

.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 05:05 PM
126

You can read the anger/frustrating coming out in the last text, already blaming her for him proposing she do an illegal activity as a first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 03:12 PM
14

Personally I liked the breakdown. I think what some of the posters are trying to get at is that by writing such a detailed and extensive piece on him, he occupied decently sized space in your mind. A space that he does not deserve. I read it more as a personal growth analysis from your point of view, that you wanted to share. Discussing parallels from your previous experiences and thoughts and then stating how, thanks to FDS, you had the self awareness to catch yourself and remain focused on his…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 02:43 PM
2

Yes, so much. It became about just getting it over with as quickly as possible. Feeling rather numb and gross afterwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 04:35 AM
15

Anyone who’s hurt you was prepared for the consequence of not having you in their life and that is not someone who is worth wasting another thought on. Saving this one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 04:04 AM
9

Incomprehensible to me. And I believe you because that's my exact reaction as well! I'm so protective of my pets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 12:14 AM
22

Same! Sometimes I accidently step on my dog's paw and his yelp just absolutely breaks my heart and I need to comfort him immediately. Anyone who would purposefully distresses a dog to the point it yelps and feels the need to defend itself is cruel and deserves equal punishment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 11:41 PM
12

That poor dog. That's more than a red flag. Even if he was a kid, animal cruelty is a predictor of violence against both partners and children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 11:36 PM
76

The issue with pornography is not that it helps or doesn't help an orgasm though. It certainly does seem to help people reach orgasm. And then reach orgasm more quickly. And then they can only do it a certain way, or with porn, become desensitized, need more extreme acts, etc. An orgasm isn't the be all, end all, of a fulfilling sex life. Or fulfilling life in general. While pornography is a detriment to your overall wellbeing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 06:22 AM
38

I love being here for the positivity around being single and loving yourself and supporting other women. Also I look for things I can do in case I notice issues in my straight women friends' relationships and to talk to them about being safe. Helps me connect with their struggles as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 03:48 AM
13

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 03:36 AM
9

Describing anyone who, like herself, was a late bloomer and did not necessarily have the social skills to date. Once she moved on from being an incel she let the community go. It was started as a positive movement to help people but got taken over by angry men. This is a short article on it: https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-us-canada-45284455
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 01:34 PM
14

The original creator of incel was a woman, so it's possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 05:15 AM
40

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:55 AM
5

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 02:15 AM
11

Definitely. I was watching a video from Robert Lustig where he said that during Michell Obama's fight to get kids healthy and fit, she wanted to cut sugar, and Barack told her that he couldn't do it, that they already had too many enemies and they couldn't take on another fight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 02:12 AM
6

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 09:47 PM
81

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 03:47 PM
4

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 12:27 AM
4

This is a fantastic post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 03:40 AM
13

I love asking this question for a laugh because it's so stupid. My ex and I would randomly ask it to each other once in a while and answer honestly. "Grey hoodie with the Zelda logo, sweatpants, and fluffy socks."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 11:15 PM
47

There are more reasons than this, but stating "not all men" detracts from the conversation and where it was going. It takes voices and power away from the issue and turns it into a debate about how "not all men" are this or that instead of solving the issue that enough men are this or that to cause a significant problem. It also forces the person to be defensive or apologetic about their wording, further distracting from the original point. They want you to stop saying "men do x" because it make…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 04:27 AM
47

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 07:39 PM
2

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 04:06 PM
47

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 03:13 PM
5

I always test before a new partner and I expect the same. No excuses. Any sort of hesitation is an absolute no-go. Not taking any chances. If you have too many partners that it's impossible to get properly tested between them, you're not for me anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 12:13 AM
17

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 01:50 PM
11

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 12:50 AM
15

I truly hope this was the case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 12:09 AM
190

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 06:45 PM
11

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 01:30 AM
63

Thank you, this was great. I can attest that no contact is the best and fastest way to get over someone. It's awesome to see it backed up by brain scans and research!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 12:34 AM
34

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 12:06 AM
197

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 04:33 PM
19

So I super support people opting not to drive if they can. I hadn't owned a car for seven years before COVID. That being said I know how to drive if I need to and if I needed to get some place, I got my ass there through my own means and didn't expect anyone to chauffeur me around. This guy should pickup a bike and get to her place at least half the time. Unless it's on the highway, a 20mins car drive is a more than doable bike ride for any relatively healthy person. Nevermind the fact that a pe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 01:38 PM
13

This happened to me recently! I was telling a male friend a story about some gross, predatory guy and he defended HIM by playing "devil's advocate". I was livid and lost all respect for him then and there. We no longer speak. Don't need that kind of thing in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 12:04 PM
5

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 12:27 AM
3

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 09:02 PM
33

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 03:23 PM
2

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:43 AM
8

Thank you so much for this, I laughed for like ten minutes at "I'm not a burrito." So good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:57 PM
4

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 10:40 PM
6

As a gamer, I absolutely encourage women to never date gamers who cannot balance their life in a healthy way. I used to ignore a lot of responsibility by gaming away my life. The gaming itself isn't the issue but the lack of accountability, self-discipline and prioritizing is. You also can't change them or stop them from gaming, it'll just piss them off and they will probably say things like "you don't understand". Or the classic "yeah sure I'll do [blah] just after I'm done one more" and never …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 09:25 PM
2

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 07:14 PM
5

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 06:04 PM
6

Second not blocking and not responding. If your ex is dangerous, it would be useful to know if he's escalating in any way, but don't initiate contact to give him hope that you will reach out. Any answer gives them fuel. Also liked the suggestion to read Gift of Fear, there is a section on this exact situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 03:47 AM
47

Also completely ignoring the fact that he was trying to use a lesbian for his own sexual pleasure. A woman who has zero interest in a man sexually. And somehow she comes out as the predatory actor here? Pretty typical story plot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 12:59 PM
21

Who's to say Delilah doesn't care about Tomi or doesn't have genuine feelings for her and maybe this is her only way (in her mind) of being with her? Maybe Tomi is playing everyone to get exactly what/who she wants. We have no idea, we only see the characterization of everyone through this one man's lens and so we can only really judge his actions/intentions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 12:44 PM
3

So true. I date women and the rules still apply. The woman I was talking to recently had initially planned to take me to this event she was going to with her friends, but I was away that weekend so she didn't ask me. And then decided not to go because she didn't want to be "the only one without a date." Like, excuse me, but I'm not here to support your public image or emotional distress at the idea of being, gasp, single. There were several other things she mentioned that were inline with this s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:12 PM
7

Your experiences sound absolutely terrifying and horrible. I'm sorry you then had to endure the victim blaming attitude on the other sub. You are definitely not alone in having had experienced creepy drivers and are in no way crazy. Surprisingly I've been creeped on by regular taxi drivers more than Uber drivers. Maybe because I don't take Ubers much. I remember one misogynist who kept going on and on about how women over 30 let themselves go. This guy was old and unfit and gross looking. After …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 12:29 PM
2

These are fun to read and learn about, but it's difficult to take them too seriously. Kind of like astrology. A lot of it is too vague to really, truly fit you. I type as an ISTP and do feel it fits, but I also find it's written in such a way that it was bound to fit. One thing I know for sure though is that I'm an introvert and always have been.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 01:10 AM
8

He updated his post. Imagine being so devoid of empathy for your partner that you need the internet to condemn you before you decide to take some responsibility and accountability. Also, and this might be news to him, Netflix and video games do not help with burnout or depression. Go lift some weights. Work on creative hobbies that bring you joy. Do small, productive tasks (like tidying/cleaning) that give you a sense of accomplishment. What helped me the most with my near burnout was switching …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 04:06 PM
7

You don't need to explain why you wouldn't watch a five hour video of something you're not interested in. He knows you won't want to watch it and aren't interested (says as much in your screenshots) yet links it anyway. Why? So he has a reason to be upset with you. Victim complex. These are tests: "If she really cared about me, she would watch everything I send her, despite the huge time commitment and lack of interest."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:51 PM
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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:08 PM
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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:04 PM
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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:34 PM
34

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 08:32 PM
2

Makes a (terrible) joke when you are having a serious conversation about your needs in a relationship = emotionally immature. Rolls his eyes when you state a boundary = comptentuous. Insinuates an action will be taken and fails to follow through = unreliable. Blames you for his inaction, lack of follow through and failure to commit = lack of accountability. And so much more. Ask yourself if you really want to be involved with an emotionally immature, contemptuous and unreliable person who lacks …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:03 PM
4

Belle was so amazing at the beginning of that movie! I always laughed at how she treated Gaston. So great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 11:12 AM
47

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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 05:16 PM
10

That is practically every time, because they don't actually use those words when they have conversations, they just heard them or read them somewhere. Often times the words are also misspelled. It's painfully transparent. It's even more frustrating when it happens on social media because they could easily look up the words on an online dictionary if they cared.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:33 AM
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/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 02:01 AM
1

Yes! I support this, always. I spend extra energy at work to ensure that any woman that comes to me with anything feels supported, confident in her abilities, and encouraged to try new things. I have been told by men that women are "catty" and competitive at work, but that has never been my experience and it's important to me to build a strong network of women supporting women in the workplace. Thankfully in my personal life I am surrounded by confident women who have standards and boundaries, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:01 PM
3

I'm three episodes in and already disgusted. The manipulation and intentional tactics to make her seem crazy are just... no words, really. And how he used her to get to be successful and wealthy. Just gross. Then has the gall to state that he pays for everything so she owes him?! This reminded me of Jeff Bezos with his wife and how so many men (and some women) argued that she was owed nothing because he built it all himself. Well how does he have time for all that if he doesn't have a partner wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:24 AM
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