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View 2 posts and 165 comments by jarnock on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
49

jarnock/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 05:02 AM
33

jarnock/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 03:14 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Well said my friend, thanks for the insight.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 09:00 PM
6

Yeah man, let it go. My kids would come and talk about my ex’s new bf, I used to get upset about, triggering past emotions. I would tell me my kids I don’t need to know anything about my ex, while true it bothered me. I would call my sister and talk it through, now I don’t care anymore. You’ll get there, it takes time and a bit of acceptance. You have every right to have your feelings about it though, just know at some point it won’t matter. Your feelings aren’t invalid, but just know someday so…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 08:59 PM
2

She fell in love with someone at basic. Guarantee that relationship won’t last and she’ll be calling you within 6 months talking about the biggest mistake she ever made. Prepare yourself for that.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 08:21 PM
3

I left almost all of the furniture with my ex. I did it for a few reasons - I didn’t want the kids to come home to a half empty house (she kept the house), almost all of it she picked out and at that point I wanted a fresh start and lastly I didn’t think it was worth fighting over with my ex (was high conflict and I really just didn’t want to have to engage with her anymore)
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 02:44 PM
3

AI slop, go somewhere else.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 04:04 PM
2

Go on vacation by yourself, take a cruise or goto Mexico for an all inclusive for a week.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 03:57 PM
1

I’d say no contact, just let it go and focus on yourself
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 08:54 PM
7

Do what you think is right. I’d tell the coaches wife after it was all finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 06:57 PM
2

This really is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 05:27 PM
5

Just file and get it done, seems like you have your bases covered. The quicker is better, you got this!
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 04:35 AM
7

I get that, I get those feelings of if I hope my ex is miserable. I’m only 14 months post divorce, my ex has done things on purpose to be as hurtful and toxic as possible at times. So I think my feelings are justified, those feelings have gone down significantly with time, however when she does something shitty, now about once a month, that’s when those feelings creep up.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 03:07 AM
4

I feel like this is a calculated move on her part. Any normal person would understand this is completely out of bounds socially. She either has a serious character flaw and is doing this on purpose or is socially inept and thinks this socially acceptable behavior. I dont think any normal person would hear this story and think there is nothing wrong with the situation. Curious how this plays out when you tell her to go get a hotel room.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 12:01 PM
3

You are absolutely correct sir!
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 11:52 AM
1

That is a serious bad take.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 11:52 AM
2

You get used to it; invest in yourself. In time you will find you enjoy time with your kids and enjoy time by yourself. You can’t change the parenting time but you can change your time without your kids to whatever you like.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 06:07 PM
3

I initiated and it’s better now. You probably already know it’s time, it can be scary but you’ll come out ahead on every level.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 05:28 PM
10

My ex was like that - “I don’t know why we can’t be friends, how come your mom won’t talk to me? Your sisters won’t either.” I blocked her, her family, her friends on all social media. Once my daughter turns 18 I’ll block her phone number. She also has taken no accountability of anything, I didn’t experience the infidelity, but I did put up with some toxic behavior for around 5 years before I pulled the plug. Good luck and with no kids you should really go no contact as soon as logistically poss…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 05:16 PM
6

My ex wife was taking GLP-1s, I’m not sure if it was the GLP-1s or not. I think in the end she has some mental problems - maybe they were exasperated by the GLP-1s, maybe not. Doesn’t matter now though, that chapter is closed!
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 05:28 PM
8

Best thing is keep your life private, you should block your ex on all social media platforms, I blocked my ex, her family and any mutual friend that I knew I would never have any contact with. It just makes life easier; at the end of the day you don’t owe your ex wife anything except what is court ordered.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 09:20 PM
7

I’m in the glp 1 club as well!
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 01:06 PM
2

You sound like my ex wife! Get a grip lady.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 10:39 PM
12

Depends on who you ask. My ex had a bunch resentment that she couldn’t get over from the 19 years of minor disagreements. I do know one thing, I tried to fix my marriage and fought for it, she on the other didn’t fight or try to save it. After 1 year of being divorced I think she did me a favor by not trying to save it. Looking back on it I put up with her toxic behavior for way too long, I wish I would have ended it 4 years earlier. My family saw it and told me post divorce that they were hopin…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 07:35 PM
2

I just hit my 1 year divorce anniversary, I won’t say there aren’t times I think or miss my ex, I would say there are far less times I miss my ex and it doesn’t carry the emotional baggage with it. Also the crazy texts I get and stories from my kids reminds of how I made the right decision.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 04:55 PM
2

I started once we decided to separate; the marriage had been on the rocks for a while and we had reconciled once already. Everyone here says to wait a year but I felt like I had already been in the stages of divorce for over a year. I was still sad about getting divorced but it helped me to heal. It was nice to be treated nice again by women and wanted/admired. I say start now, you’ve literally got nothing to lose!
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 04:52 PM
2

And as a woman you can’t even stay in your own forum. Go be alone somewhere else.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 04:32 PM
2

What this guy said. Any decent counselor will immediately be on your side when she starts talking about wanting other partners and booking trips to see men from different countries. She is probably going to tell you in front a counselor that she wants a divorce and there is no chance of reconciliation. I don’t think she is going in with the let’s fix this so we can be happy and stay married mentality. Good luck, please update us!
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 02:11 PM
1

Probably time to start over? Take what you’ve learned and start over
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 10:20 AM
4

If it’s not in the divorce decree or separation agreement then don’t worry about what your ex thinks. I wouldn’t even bother telling her. it’s been two years, you don’t need permission from your ex anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 12:57 AM
1

Oh absolutely, you’ll get there just takes time
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 04:46 PM
1

It can be a little unnerving at first, I really don’t care now though. I’m about 18 months post separation/divorce. So it did take some time
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 04:46 PM
1

I think you already know the answer you are just seeking validation. You put your time in and tried to fix it, only to find out you weren’t the one who needed to fix anything.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 01:52 PM
2

This is the way, move on. My ex tries to bring her new man around me, it doesn’t matter to me anymore. You’ll get there, you got this!
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 01:33 PM
2

Almost the same exact thing happened to me. My advice just don’t offer to pay on the new account, if she brings it up just say no. No need to explain, tell her your decision is final.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 06:23 PM
3

Offer to pay half, let the wife or soon to be ex wife agree to the 200K, she won’t
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 01:24 AM
3

I’m 44, I made out of it better, my life is so much better than when I was married - financially, emotionally…all of it, just takes a little time, you’ll get there
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 06:22 PM
5

My ex was pretty, she ballooned up to like 190 lbs in our marriage, went completely bat shot crazy the last 4 or years of our marriage. Probably about 2 years before we divorced she got on Wegovy and lost a bunch of weight. She now weighs less than she did in HS and imo is less attractive. I’ve been out with a few women, some prettier, some not. In the end I’ve found there are so many other qualities that make me attracted to women, I’m 44 and it’s not as important to me as it used to be.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 08:23 PM
1

I think in her mind all the publicity she thought would force him to get back with her and he nope’d the fuck out. Good for him, he dodged a bullet
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 11:20 AM
7

Just wait until she’s like I don’t understand why we can’t be amicable and friends…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 01:38 PM
1

You just accept it. Hard to deal with? Yes, end of the world - no. It sucks but so does divorce
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 12:11 PM
12

My ex did start taking GLP and then went crazy, didn’t really make any correlation until reading this here. Might have been? I don’t know though
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 07:57 PM
2

This is the way. Have a canned response about only texting about the kids, I sent that for a while. Now I just don’t respond. You can match energy if you want, I only did that a couple of times.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 02:55 PM
3

Mandatory post here - get some hobbies to fill time, golf, bowling, pickle ball, run club…soon you’ll enjoy making some new friends and start to build a new life.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 05:09 PM
3

I blocked her, her family - most of our mutual friends. I went in with the mentality that I wanted to start a new life and that meant getting rid of most of our mutual friends. Reasons I kept some mutual friends: 1. I go on a yearly golf trip with the husband 2. I sit by one of my sons friends Dad at track meets
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 03:47 PM
3

Just ignore it man, no good can come from it, get some therapy go as no contact with your ex as you can. It gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 06:15 PM
2

If you guys are already divorcing, you need to put your effort and thoughts into moving on. They are going to end up sleeping together, that’s a given. As hard as this is, you need to accept it. At least have something transactional, she does a prayer thing in June you got a trip in May.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 06:05 PM
1

What this guy said. You got this, new beginnings
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 10:45 AM
-1

Take her off the healthcare…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 10:38 AM
9

To value myself, it’s okay to make yourself the priority.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 02:29 PM
1

You can’t affect that, and your daughter shouldn’t tell you about it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 08:00 PM
1

I mean you aren’t wrong, but I think about it when I get that text, that’s the only revenge like thing I get now. Usually I don’t respond at all.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 07:59 PM
1

It gets better, also you don’t realize until you get divorced just how many people have gotten divorced, you are in the majority.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 03:44 PM
6

The only thing I think about is how to respond to nasty texts from her - do I match energy? Be petty? The revenge feeling will fade with time.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 02:40 PM
1

I have a similar situation, although not as bad, I just tell my daughter I don’t need to know anything about their mother and that its unhealthy and inappropriate for me to know about their mothers love life. If you want to be petty you could say something like I don’t need to know who your mother is sleeping with. I also wouldn’t try to one up the ex and talk about your dating life.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 02:42 PM
4

I blocked her and her family/friends. Once you block them the memories you and her are tagged together in will have a “This content isn’t available right now.” I also took an hour and went through all my photos in my phone and deleted most of the pictures with her. I saved a few when it was a picture of the kids with me and her in them. I still have some more to sort through. Going through those photos reminded me why we divorced, we look so happy in those memories but the more I thought about i…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 03:14 PM
2

Throw yourself back out there man! Don’t let everyone’s time table and work on yourself attitude deter, I went out with many different women, went on vacations, finally started doing the things I wanted to do. It’s fun, go enjoy your life and not being tied down.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 03:11 PM
1

I guess I’m trying to say don’t let that frustrate you. Your ex is going to be who she is, let her go in the sense don’t let it bother you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 03:09 PM
4

What this guy said is spot on. That being said, I’d tell on the bestie and serial cheater. Won’t help in the long run but will make you feel better in the moment.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 01:58 PM
1

What an absolute mess you just posted.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 01:39 PM
3

Dude you have to let her go. She doesn’t want you, it’s hard to hear. Accept it, move on - no contact as much as possible. Go find someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 04:01 AM
2

My ex downplayed my contributions as well. Once we got divorced she was forced to take on being a mom 50% of the time. I will say that after we got divorced she really turned on the mom thing for about 3-4 months, she let everyone on Facebook know she was the BEST mom ever. She is now back to normal self and the kids aren’t getting along with her. Don’t stay for the kids, you’ll spend better quality time with them once you’re divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 07:30 PM
1

16 in Kentucky
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 12:10 PM
0

I thought this was no girls allowed? Go hang out in women’s divorce subreddit
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 07:57 PM
5

Yeah man, go easy on yourself
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 08:04 PM
7

I’m at that stage, I avoid at all costs. I don’t really care what other people say. I just tell my kids it’s too toxic between me and their mother. My ex does try to initiate interaction, likes sits down next to me at sports events, when I pick my daughter up work she’s at her work, daughters hair appointment - yup she’s there. When that stuff happens I politely get up, tell our mutual friends that I will catch up with them later. Don’t worry what other people say, if anyone says anything about …
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 07:11 PM
5

It’s a weird feeling and I think time is the only thing that makes you get to that point. I’ll be at a full year divorced in April and a 15 months after we separated. I don’t really feel anything for her anymore. I’m polite in our conversations about the kids, when she starts to become toxic I throw it to ChatGPT and respond to it and move on with my day.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 08:55 PM
1

For me it’s golf, Florida and Alabama. Alabama for a 4 day weekend, trying to do all the RTJ courses in the state - 26 of them. Florida when it gets too cold in Kentucky and I need a break, cheapest flight I can find, Airbnb and book a few random courses. Birmingham, Alabama is a fun place, women out number men, like 89 to 100. I’ve had so much fun there, it’s like a 5 hour drive, stay a night or two at the RTJ course, Renaissance Birmingham Ross Bridge or stay downtown for cheap at an Airbnb.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 12:55 PM
2

Amen to the whole identity thing. You kind of have to re-invent yourself. I also for the most part lost our mutual friends. I didn’t realize how much fun doing whatever you want in your free time would be, so now you can enjoy your hobbies a lot more.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 03:51 AM
2

Married 19 years, last 5 I knew it was over. Moved out and reconciled once, lasted about 18 months until we were divorced, had a goodish 6 months of that reconciliation. She had another major mental issue and I finally said enough. Been much happier post divorce since then. Looking back I knew much sooner, but I wanted it to work for the kids. Turns out the kids told me later they didn’t know why I stayed. A little heartbroken about it, I had good intentions. Kids are great now though, they love…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 05:19 AM
4

Dude, get out - like ASAP. 5 years no kids? Should be a nice easy clean break. Start fresh with someone else!
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 03:14 PM
2

Also get a drill with an ikea wrench set as well!
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 11:21 PM
1

Finances would be first for me, then housing, then kids (just because you need money and a house for the kids). Go get a new place and goto IKEA, have your kids pick out there stuff. First night in the house alone you put it altogether. For texts just screen shot and tell chatGPT to respond, you can have it be aggressive, passive, mean nice. If you figure how to export it’ll know your entire text history and will generate responses for you. It really killed the texting wars for me, you’ll gain s…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 11:14 PM
3

Just say no thank you? I take it you are a good guy, consider it, do it or not, but don’t feel bad about it, 7 years ago you got divorced, sounds like she is having some financial problems and taking it out on you. Really the world is your oyster here - you are well within your rights to tell her to go get fucked or offer help. How has she been during it all? Did she cheat on you? Treat you bad/mean during the divorce? These things have a value in the formula. Either way, your choice to help or …
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 12:32 PM
2

People here will say take a year. I didn’t, I had been well over the marriage and tried the stay for the kids. Of the 6, how many of them did you know it was only a matter of time before you were going to a divorce? You’re 26 years old- no kids, why not go out and casually date. I dated and slept with many women once the separation papers were filed.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 08:22 PM
5

My ex was like that, any disagreement, even the smallest thing - like whether the grass should be watered or not, I was a narcissist, gaslighter and master manipulator. No real answers from me, just be wary of women who can’t communicate, the good news is you don’t have to give them half your stuff when you release them back into the wild.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 02:20 AM
2

Stay strong and present the best case possible, delay if possible to adjust for your income.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 01:12 AM
1

So true, I wish this was more widely accepted and people you know and trust would tell you the truth when you say you are going to marriage counseling.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 12:50 AM
1

To be honest, she did you a favor by not doing counseling. It is a complete waste of time. She also did you a favor by telling you about the affair, I wish mine would have done the same (don’t know if she had an affair, although she did move in with a guy about 6 months after the divorce was finalized). I wish she would have come to me and said it’s over let’s get a divorce. I wasted a couple good years, maybe even 5 at most, probably more like 4.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 12:49 AM
2

Get the IKEA bowls, the big ones, they are like 79 cents
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 06:41 PM
2

I had my mom come down and told her to make my new house a home, told my son to make my living room a home theater (he was 17 at time), let the kids pick out there bedroom sets/furniture. Spent around $7-10 thousand. I love my new place, go research some ideas, you can probably use Chat-GPT and it’ll get you great recommendations, just put the parameters, some lose ideas of what you want and bam, you got it!
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 06:39 PM
2

This guy is pretty spot on. Mine did the monologue and decided she didn’t want to go back. She just bashed me the entire time and listed off all the grievances. Looking back it was a waste of time.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 06:24 PM
8

Congratulations, you can stay in the sub, give advice to people. My divorce was finalized in April 2025, I give my perspective having gone through it and I’m relatively good now - little bit of anger at my ex still.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 02:35 AM
4

It’s ok to have these feelings, you’ll bounce back. Give yourself some time and go do something nice for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 05:18 PM
1

How was the breakup? I’m pretty sure my split lasted 4 years based off what my ex told me. She treated me pretty bad for those years and I stuck around for the kids. Now she’s like I don’t know why we can’t be friends - it’s cause you were so mean to me in the last 4 years of our marriage
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 04:53 PM
3

You are 100% right, I had given everything to try and save the marriage, now I don’t have anything for my ex, little bit of anger left, but nothing except don’t contact me ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 04:45 PM
4

My ex is like - she’s like I don’t understand why we can’t be friends. I’m like do you not remember the last 2 years of our marriage? Go reread all your crazy texts from the past year.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 08:59 PM
7

If it bothers you that much just don’t go, have a birthday party with your kids on your time.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 05:14 PM
1

What this guy said is spot on. You just need more time. I look back on all things I did to try and win her back and I am embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Start making yourself the priority in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 04:36 PM
3

At first I tried grey rocking, that worked for a while. When she started being unfair with the children’s parenting time I started screenshotting her text messages and used it against her. I have gotten to the point now where I just roll with it. I just accept that she is a bitter woman who will try to argue and belittle me whenever she can. I respond to bad texts with a simple “lol” and move on. Is it unfair at times for? Of course it is, my kids see through this and they don’t have a great rel…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 04:30 PM
2

I feared being alone when I got divorced, I found the peace of being alone in my new place was great. I’m not sure about your situation but if you had a high conflict stbx when you will find it’s great.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 12:46 AM
6

IMO she is bluffing, you think affair partner wants to take in 3 kids?
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 01:11 PM
2

My recommendation is to do week on week off, originally I wanted a 4-3-3-4 schedule or something along those lines, my attorney suggested week on week off and it has been fantastic. Kids leave school on Friday and head to my house, the following Friday they go to their mom’s house. It makes planning everything so much easier.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 06:32 PM
2

I wouldn’t, but everyone’s situation is different. My last few years with my ex were horrible and she continues the bad behavior post divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 06:28 PM
2

I started recording my ex as well, I played it with close family to get their input, wanted to make sure I wasn’t the crazy one. Family all told me that’s not normal and there obviously something wrong and encouraged me to get out. I ended up reconciling and wasting another 2.5 years.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 09:56 PM
5

Man your story reads like mine. Married 19 years, she developed a lot of mental problems - depression / anxiety and ALWAYS had problems with people at work. I also suddenly had to take over everything - school for the kids, sports, laundry, cooking and cleaning - anything that involved housework I did. I didn’t want to divorce, but the last 5 years I put up with a lot of bad/toxic behavior all while being told I was the problem. Been divorced since April and I’m a lot happier and I have peace in…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 09:49 PM
3

I try and keep it as separate as possible, kids know the woman I’m dating - they’ve met a few times, but in general don’t let her stay over while I have the kids (I have 50/50). My ex has her new bf that lives with her and my daughter absolutely hates it, based off my daughters conversation with me, I decided to not have the girlfriend stay overnight in general (she stayed over NYE).
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 02:58 PM
2

See my post above, accidentally responded to my own comment.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 11:00 PM
1

The gray rock method is a communication strategy to disengage from toxic or narcissistic people by becoming as boring, unresponsive, and emotionally dull as a gray rock, starving them of the drama or attention they crave. It involves giving short, matter-of-fact answers, avoiding personal details, and offering no emotional reactions to their provocations, which aims to make you an uninteresting target so they eventually lose interest and move on. It's a temporary tactic for unavoidable interacti…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 10:56 PM
1

My ex was similar, I started grey rocking - it worked and when I eventually got my own place I didn’t have to be around her. Just wait until you don’t live with each other, the text messages will be epic. I’m at the point now I just chatGPT a response and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 07:04 PM
8

I went out and slept with women, it worked for and I got over my ex lol.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 06:48 PM
3

In the beginning I lost a few, my ex tried really hard in the beginning to isolate me from our mutual friends. Eventually our mutual friends had a fallout with ex and now they don’t talk.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 06:39 PM
3

Get out of your marriage, like now. You really need to work on yourself and be a better person.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 06:31 PM
6

Block her on social media, you shouldn’t be caring about what she does, she’s not your problem!!
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 02:32 PM
3

It takes a bit to get over it. You should try and do something, go stay at a casino or something. Just don’t sit around doing nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 01:19 PM
1

Some pretty good advice, my story is similar, glad you got out!
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 02:04 AM
2

Do not let someone tell you are the toxic person, through therapy you will learn/understand you were not. Good luck my friend, it gets better, just gotta go through it
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 03:52 AM
5

People are shit, you’re not. You’ll recover, it’ll be ok, glad you didn’t do anything. Life goes on my man, one day you won’t even think about this
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 10:58 AM
5

Trust me on this, a shitty apartment is way better than where you are living now. You’ll get alimony and child support if she makes way more than. Good luck, and tell your parents and friends, I wouldn’t post it on Facebook, just remove your relationship status. It’s get way better
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 10:18 PM
3

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, do therapy if you want. One day you will wake up and it won’t bother you anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 05:17 PM
1

In time you really stop caring about the perception from other people. IME, people choose sides, my ex was frantic to try and get her version of events out, almost to try and isolate me from our mutual friends. Eventually they all stopped talking to her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 04:18 PM
2

One day you just won’t care, until then try not to let it eat at you. I used to pride myself in grey rocking, however I now match the energy, if she wants to be shitty I put her text into ChatGPT and it generates a nasty response, I send it and don’t think anything else about it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 05:46 PM
6

There are a ton of women your age that are coming out of something similar, you will find someone. My ex started being really nasty all the time, I stayed for roughly 5 years before I said enough is enough, I am 43 and married for 19 years - the woman I fell in love with is no longer there, almost like she died in a sense, replaced by a bitter, nasty toxic person. When you finally divorce her you will actually enjoy being alone, you will get your own place and be happy not having to deal with yo…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 05:41 PM
1

Mine did not, I was cordial and polite, ex just wanted to fight and argue over everything, eventually I just came home to the basement and spent as little time as possible with her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 05:11 AM
3

6K for an uncontested divorce is crazy, go see a different lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 05:06 AM
3

One day you will regret not ending it sooner. Trying to win her back will only prolong your suffering. Deep down do you think or know it’s over? 2 years down the road if you do divorce will you think it was worth trying to save? I stayed in a terrible marriage for about 5 years. Don’t be like me. Have a very frank conversation with your wife and lay it all out. See where that goes then decide whether to stay or not.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 04:32 PM
5

This is so true, I went through something similar and at the end of the day I only regretted not leaving sooner. It’s hard to see it when are going through, now that I’m out - I’m almost disappointed in myself, I know what I won’t put up with now though.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 04:26 PM
5

Dude get out there! Don’t let your ex mess up something else. If your new thing fails who cares. She might be just as messed up from another shitty partner as you. Go have some fun
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 09:15 AM
3

I would just start drinking beer, turn on softcore porn and turn up the volume
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 05:54 PM
8

Just take it one day at a time, I felt embarrassed, ashamed - even guilty? In time you will realize none of this matters, most likely one of you is most at fault. In my case it was my ex, took me about a year to come to the realization of it all. Accept your fault in it all - big or small, really accept it, forgive yourself, be angry at your ex, then forgive her. After you forgive her you can still be angry, with time it won’t matter. In my experience, one day I woke up and none of it mattered. …
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 03:45 AM
3

Have the same problem, I have researched and can’t find a good answer. It just is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 12:05 PM
1

I think you need to just continue to be polite to your son about it. The truth will come out one day and your son will eventually know the truth. In the mean time just be a good dad, most likely their relationship will sour, be the stable parent.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 11:20 AM
7

This guy nailed it!
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 11:14 AM
1

Seems like you are in a much better spot, that’s good! My kids are older - so I’m not sure how best to navigate a 4 year old and exwife/BF. Would be hard to accept the reality of situation if he is the AP.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 04:52 PM
2

Super proud of you my man! Don’t make it the last update, just the latest! Godspeed!
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 02:27 PM
7

She is demanding way too much, and usually it’s a number, not a %. What’s happens if you lose your job? You have to pay the same amount, you are being taken advantage of. Fair is not paying 40% of your income for 20 years. I got divorced in Kentucky, I think you should figure out how to settle with much better terms. Fair IMO is child support and half your retirement, but in KY you should get 50/50. Yeah, don’t voluntarily sign up for 10-20 years of alimony or sharing your bonus. It might seem l…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 10:19 AM
6

Very similar situation I went through, I’m convinced she’s either BPD or perimenopause or menopause. I lived with a monster for about 5 years, the whole time being told I’m the problem..
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 03:19 PM
5

I would cover the costs for kids stuff just so I don’t have to speak with my ex. It’s not worth your mental effort having to deal with your ex wife if it makes you upset about it. Only you can make yourself happy, just keep the pass at your house if it bothers you that much.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 05:16 PM
8

Just respond with I don’t know either, if you find out let me know
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 08:56 PM
1

Keep trying my friend, it’s better than the alternative you mention
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 04:28 PM
9

I think you have the wrong question, you shouldn’t concern yourself with the why or how. You’ll drive yourself mad, just accept she cheated on you. The real question is how do you move on from this as fast as possible? The faster you get over this the better it will be for everyone, but most importantly the better it will be for you!
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 04:51 AM
5

Like the OP you need to get some help
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 07:24 PM
5

I really think you need some therapy to work through that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 07:24 PM
2

After about 5 years of her treating me like you mentioned above, she told me she no longer wanted to have sex with me, I responded that’s why we need to get divorced. About 8 months later we were divorced, had to cohabitate for about 3 months where her behavior only worsened. My advice is get everything ready (apartment)when you tell her you are going to divorce so you don’t have to cohabitate. Cut all unnecessary contact out, be prepared to lose some in the divorce, decide what you want fight f…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 07:15 PM
3

I think you already know the answer. Sounds like she has quite a big mental problem that will most likely get worse with time, especially with another child. I knew for a long time that my marriage was over and stuck around trying to fix it/her. It was a total waste of time, effort and money.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 05:56 PM
1

I always don’t say you’re sorry, tell me congratulations, it’s gets a laugh and the awkwardness is less
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 05:36 PM
6

I had similar issues with my exwife, I did everything though, cooking, cleaning, laundry, driving kids to schools and activities. She found fault in everything, the grass wasn’t green enough, I loaded the dishes wrong, the clothes were folded wrong, etc. I dreaded when she would come home. One of my hobbies was golf and my friends would play on the weekend I would have beg to go play, she would make me do everything before I would get permission, then when she would super pissed off when I came …
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 05:25 PM
2

I had the same controlling wife, I avoided conflict with her and now matter what it was always my fault. My ex still tries to start conflict via text, I just ignore it all now. Ironically I think that makes her more upset, walls of text from her over the most random unimportant thing.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 06:11 PM
2

Stay strong my friend. You will come out of this so, it just takes time and you will be better off.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 01:58 PM
1

This guy is looking for support, don’t tear him down. Everything you said to him he has probably already told himself, multiple times.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 01:52 PM
1

My kids at 17 and 15 took it very well. You might find they already know or are glad you are divorcing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 02:58 PM
2

I came from a very loving household, parents stayed married. I felt pressure to stay with my exwife and not break up the family, I had a lot of shame and embarrassment. Hard to tell about the better spouses part, was married 19 years - had a good marriage for 14 years, but the last 5 were miserable.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 10:23 AM
7

The big thing I realized is my ex never said she was sorry, she thought she was always right - even when in the wrong. I can think of 2 times she said she was sorry - once she washed my uniform, I had just gotten everything sowed on it and there was a pen it (for context I’m in the military and they have a slot on the sleeve to hold pens), she initially blamed me - “Well maybe you shouldn’t have put pen in there,” I told her I never asked you to wash my uniform, she apologized, the other time wa…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 12:48 PM
4

This is my ex
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 12:41 PM
5

Just say no. You need to start having your own Christmas.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 11:04 AM
1

My exwife always had problems at work with her coworkers, family and friends. It’s not until you are out of it you realize just what type of person your ex is. Looking back on my marriage I realize now I tolerated way too much and stayed too long.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 01:51 PM
7

How many times did she apologize? I realized that my ex wife only apologized a handful of times, I can honestly only think of 2 times. Once was after we had divorced and I moved into a new house. She said she was sorry for being mean and that she would start being nice and wanted to be amicable, that lasted for 6 hours.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 01:55 PM
1

Go to court and get child support turned off
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 08:19 PM
4

Never had that happen, however when women find out I’m single and spending time with my kids I get all sorts of compliments.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 12:03 PM
1

No contact is the way to go! Better in the long run for everyone!
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 12:02 PM
2

I make my kids do it so they become good mothers and fathers, not shitty like their mother.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 09:27 PM
1

There is a desire to hide assets when you first start the process, my advice is don’t do it. Try and be as amicable as possible to do a no contest divorce. Get a therapist and vent to them. The faster you can get away from her - through a fast divorce the better everyone will be in the long run. Also the faster you get over this the better it will be for everyone, it takes time. Your kids will also find out the true nature of your stbxw, just don’t be the one to bad mouth her even though she des…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 05:32 PM
13

Yeah man you can’t be friends. You should be going no contact, block her Facebook. The faster you never contact her the faster you will forget her
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 03:47 PM
2

If it’s amicable you can probably do it yourself, mine was $1000 for a non-contested divorce
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 03:20 PM
2

Sounds like a terrible situation. I don’t know what advice I can give you. Try to stay as strong as possible and don’t subscribe to her OF. I would also try and be as nice as possible to her to try and help facilitate moving as fast as possible to get the divorce settled. She’s not in a good spot if she’s doing OF and having abortions. Try and get your kids away from that behavior and lifestyle as quickly as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 03:14 PM
4

It’s weird and different at first, but as you get over your divorce it’s a lot of fun! You’ll get there just takes time.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 02:56 AM
5

I did that after I got a divorce, hooked up with for quite a while. We were 8 hours apart so it didn’t work out. It was fun
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 07:13 PM
7

It’s just advice from people who got into a relationship too fast after their divorce. May or may not apply to you. I started dating while I was separated, it’s really your call. My divorce took 6 months after we officially said let’s get divorced, I knew six months before that it was over, I hadn’t had sex in over a year before I was officially divorced, you do you boo!
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 10:18 AM
7

I cut all contact with my ex except when it comes to kids. I don’t respond to anything else. I’ve had walls of text complaining about everything under the sun - I am accused of being a narcissist/gaslighting/manipulation - I ignore it all. In public at kids games she will try and sit by me, I get up and leave. It has worked alright, the frequency has slowed down, to about 1 or 2 out of line texts a month. I did pull in a mutual friend and showed him the texts and asked him to talk to her. He was…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 02:33 PM
1

I had the same concerns when me and my ex split, you just kind of feel it out - take up some hobbies that are social, mine was golf. I joined a league and walked 9 holes everyday after work. Also I stacked my social life so full I didn’t have any down time. Don’t have your daughter for the weekend? Go do something, drive 2 hours to a concert, football game whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 12:18 PM
5

My ex regrets getting divorced, she just has a weird way of expressing - random crazy texts calling me all sorts of names and complaining about her current situation.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 04:14 PM
3

That happened to me, ex became so toxic around me. I eventually had enough and we got divorced. It can be hard to see while you are going through, I look back and think why did ever let her treat me like that? It took me 3 years of trying everything to fix our marriage before I had enough.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 02:23 PM
3

I was in the same boat recently, I was nervous as hell. Went good. Went on a few more and I got over the nervousness, it passes. Next thing you know you’ll crossing girls off the list and start limiting who you go on a date with.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 10:45 PM
3

I went through the same thing, I lasted about 5 years before it became unbearable. I try and go as no contact as I can. About once a week I get a text from her trying to engage in a fight over nothing. The thing is I don’t engage in it anymore, I just don’t respond and I think upsets her even more. My divorce is final next week and I’m much happier living alone and having my kids every other week. We were married 19 years, looking back on it probably 14 years were great, but the woman she is tod…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 03:36 PM
0

Just delete them, don’t worry about going through olds phones. I would just tell her that you delete them when you find them
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 10:52 PM
4

Does your JAG office help with this? I would also argue you took all the debt for a lower child care payment and that counted as a form of lump sum. If she wants to change the deal you should ask her to take on some of the debt.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/21 09:58 PM
1

Did you find a lawyer I'm Kentucky? In a similar situation near Louisville and am looking for a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/21 10:48 PM
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