jrgunner Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
63	Hope		jrgunner	/r/Divorce_Men	04/09/24 05:45 PM
5	Never Imagined it would happen to us. What do I do?		jrgunner	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/21 05:16 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	It's official, ouch I remember that feeling of hopelessness and grief. I still feel grief. But when we split up I decided I wouldn't let this defeat me and I would become the best version of myself for my children. I want to be the father they deserve. Started a whole health protocol (sleep, nutrition, exercise), reading, reconnecting with friends. I cannot begin to tell you how much that helped. There were (still are) days where I felt I couldn't keep going. But I did...and over time you get better, stronger. Amd …	/r/Divorce_Men	16/10/24 05:21 PM
1	Hope Well she apologized to tue court, not to me. She apologized for having used the injunction to deny me timesharing, and even when we entered a temporary timesharing agreement she would deny me Father's Day or other holidays/breaks. So she apologized for that, and said she is "not proud of what she did" and that if she could she would do it differently. I think it was a BS prepared statement with attorneys. She also apologized for having involved 3rd parties (teachers, pediatricians, therapists,et…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/24 01:32 AM
2	Hope Partly because of the 50/50. Makes a big difference. Also, I lost my job a couple of months back. My wife is working. And she has a masters degree in engineering, but has a minimum wage job on purpose. So the judge imputed minimum wage to me also, 50/50 so no child support	/r/Divorce_Men	05/09/24 06:41 PM
7	Hope There's some truth to what you're saying, but still. I was able to get the decision I got because I: - am very organized - have always been an involved, loving parent - have a stable life - had the resources and the willingness to spend it all on this fight - had the endurance and strength to stick with it. Many times it all looked and.felt so bleak - I had, and I cannot stress this enough, truly world class legal representation. - my wife did all the wrong things that made her look like shit to…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/09/24 01:35 PM
7	Hope Precisely. Impartial my buttcrack. My attorney cross-examined the GAL and unraveled her with one pull of a string. I also benefited from being either organized or know how to pull something up. So my case was documented in detail.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/09/24 08:53 PM
6	Hope Thanks. Good thing is I already have an incredible bond with my boys. So this only males everyone but my wife happy. I am focusing on being that dad they deserve. And like you said, without her there to criticize it. I am in a bit of state of shock by everything. And I am grieving losing my marriage and all that. But I can see the light at the tunnel I always hoped really was there. Yeah contact will be minimal, and through Talking Parents. It took an immense amount of money, and then my layers …	/r/Divorce_Men	04/09/24 08:17 PM
4	Hope Keep fighting. Make sure you have the right attorney amd listen to them.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/09/24 06:18 PM
1	Why does everyone call their ex a narcissist? Perfectly put. Thank you.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/06/24 02:24 PM
1	Just found out she’s cheating TLDR: Good meet with a great lawyer. Cheap lawyers are expensive in the long run. Get the Ferrari of lawyers in your state. Wow. First of all I admire your composure, it shows you care about your children and are smart. The first thing I would say to you is that you must understand that divorce is 2 separate processes happening simultaneously. One is the human aspect. The other is the legal aspect. They are in direct conflict with one another. On the human aspect there is too much happening to t…	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/24 11:39 PM
1	Does anyone else get told this after the divorce starts? BTW....the other aspect of the "go mess around" message is the assumption that after years of marriage, being a different age, having become a parent, etc don't have any bearing on who you can choose to hook up with. Like it's as simple as you choosing to hook up and POOF! Women are just readily available for your taking.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/05/24 09:34 PM
2	Does anyone else get told this after the divorce starts? Sadly it's the culture and times in which we live. What I'm about to say will get you accused of "talking like a victim", but here it is anyway. The standards for men today are impossible. Not in that they are unattainable, but as in impossible. If you want to go mess around, then it shows you never really cared about her and messing around was what you always wanted anyway because men are a bunch of animalistic creatures that think with their dicks. But if you don't want to mess around, then yo…	/r/Divorce_Men	18/05/24 09:29 PM
4	Mother's day Help the children celebrate mother's day. Don't go over the top. Maybe some flowers, help the kids make some mother's day crafts or something depending on how old they are. Make it about her being mom.and not about you guys as a couple. Do not mention your relationship at all, just make it about Mother's Day. Give the kids the memory of having mom and dad together having a nice day. As for your marital situation, it's tough. Nothing under the sun is worse than divorce. So I would give it a last …	/r/Divorce_Men	08/05/24 02:19 PM
1	2 years in litigation Which they then use as a reason not to give equal timesharing to the father. It's wildnamd what guys don't understand...they will first break you down to then use your breakdown as the reason you should not get a reasonable settlement	/r/Divorce_Men	28/04/24 12:50 AM
2	2 years in litigation Not sure. I've been teetering on there brink of bankruptcy for over s year now, but have managed to use debt. Now my credit is shot, went from $300k net worth to -$150k and I'm living with my parents.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/04/24 08:29 PM
2	2 years in litigation We have trial date set on the exact 3 year mark for us. I'm bankrupt but I'm not giving up	/r/Divorce_Men	26/04/24 10:23 PM
1	Panic attacks/depression I've had panic attacks, not because of her but because of all the drama (minimal timesharing, lawyers, courts, motions, having to constantly demonstrate I'm not guilty of any of her baseless allegations, financial ruin, etc). My approach was to get healthy because I wanted to avoid any drugs/medication. And because therapy was not helping me at all. This is a topic that nobody wants to hear about this topic because it sounds crazy and it's boring. But your gut health is absolutely the most impor…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/04/24 09:02 PM
2	Men issues cared about less? If you're serious LMK and I'll shed light into my case. Which is pretty typical	/r/Divorce_Men	10/04/24 11:20 PM
1	What's craziest thing your stbx did Bro...I think you're missing the point. THEY ATE VIOLATING THE AGREED COURT ORDER.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/04/24 10:21 PM
2	Men issues cared about less? This feels like a spam post. Are yo out even serious? The evidence is out there and overwhelming. Laws are ridiculous skewed toward women and family court almost forces women to make up DV allegations. It's an absolute scandal, and legitimately nobody cares.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/04/24 10:20 PM
1	What's craziest thing your stbx did It's not complicated. We did a QDRO which what is required (FL). We files an Emergency Ex Parte motion (Granted) and got her account frozen. We will have a hearing and there's a pending motion for sanctions. I also filed a BAR complaint against her attorney.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/04/24 11:53 PM
1	A place to live after divorce Depends on how bad your credit is you may be able to get an FHA loan. Make sure to have ALL the documents relating top your divorce, organized both printed out and in a PDF. If you're not able to get a loan right now, then whatever you do for right now get started on fixing your credit. It's not that hard so long as you do the right things. Lots of people think they understand credit and don't make the right moves to fix it. Like you said everything is based on credit, so start fixing it ASAP.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/03/24 01:38 PM
1	What's craziest thing your stbx did The idea was to have the funds distributed to use the funds she the divorce has bankrupted us. But she refuses to settle. There's no buzz words. I explained it exactly as it happened. And yes, we did a QDRO and even retained a lawyer specifically for that.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/03/24 03:53 PM
1	What's craziest thing your stbx did Whatever funds are distributed to her do not pay the 10% penalty. So we reached an agreement whereby the full amount would be sent to her attorney's trust account. From there they would distribute 50% to my attorney's trust account. Each of is would pay the taxes on our own half. This was done with an Agreed Order, the judged signed off on it. Then when the funds were distributed they didn't follow through with the disbursement.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/03/24 01:44 PM
2	What's craziest thing your stbx did Mine agreed to a QDRO and then when my employer and plan admin withdrew the funds her lawyer decided he "didn't understand" the ramifications of what they agreed to and didn't complete the paperwork so my money has been held up with them since April 2023.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/03/24 09:48 PM
1	I want to be a dad. I can see my dream crashing. Unlike women, men can have kids at much later age. But you don't want to be an old geezer parenting a young child. Take care of yourself, eat clean, exercise, take care of your gut microbiome, stay sharp. Keep your testosterone levels up and you can def still be a father. Easier said than done. But if you keep working at it you can absolutely achieve it.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/03/24 07:52 PM
3	Absolutely terrified I hope they stay amicable and she's reasonable. The issue is that when the process starts and she has a lawyer and her friends will start to poison her.. they'll tell her she had the toughest job in the world as a mom, how she sacrificed herself for her family, that everything you have is hers, that she's entitled to this and to that, that if you had been the husband she deserved then things wouldn't be like this etc. So hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Have an attorney and be ready…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/03/24 02:33 PM
4	Absolutely terrified If you want equal timesharing you need to make sure that's what you're doing during separation. Often they'll want separation and while you're getting situated they'll use that as the "status quo" after they file. Also, do not spend time alone with her or you'll expose yourself to a false domestic violence allegation. You'll need to be methodical and rational while going through the most emotional time possible. You must keep your wits about you. And understand something: nobody cares. Not the j…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/03/24 02:28 PM
7	Divorced Men: With what you experienced, would you ever remarry? If you could go back, would you have ever married knowing what you know now? No. By the way if you're divorced whatever family structure you have thereafter is, by definition, not traditional. Unpopular opinion. One should never remarry, and if you have a new "partner" you should avoid exposing your minor children to said new partner. Can you imagine your children waking up on a lazy Sunday and going to mom's bed to cuddle with her and she's lying in bed with a man who is not their father? Same goes the other way around... your kids come to your bed after waking up early…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/03/24 02:55 PM
19	It never ends "How much of the sale am I getting?" How much of the deed do you own? That's how much.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/03/24 09:03 PM
5	Do you want to find a new partner? I miss sex also, but can't imagine having sex with another woman. I'd feel like I'm cheating. I was really in it for life and I just can't see myself being with some else. Even when I see a really attractive woman and my imagination runs wild even then, in my daydreams, I pump the brakes when we're about to get to business. It just reminds me of her and I'm overcome with melancholy and memories.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/03/24 10:55 PM
4	They broke me Keep fighting for your boys. Be the father they deserve. Do not quit. There's a quote that I often think about from Sir Edmund Burke. He wasn't talking about divorce or anything but I still find it applicable and always helps me when my thoughts about the injustice of divorce/timesharing creep up. "Intemperate men cannot be free. Their passions forge their fetters." Do not let yourself become a slave to those thoughts and emotions. Read, exercise, be in nature, spend time with friends and family…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/03/24 04:57 PM
1	Think I might always want my own place even if dating again My divorce is still not finalized. We're going to trial in August. The trial date is literally 3 years to the date from separation. I'm bankrupt and had to move in with my parents. But after separation I rented an apartment and it was the happiest year of my life. I was king of my domain. Nobody to order me around. I got up when I wanted, went to bed when I wanted, put things where I wanted, listened to the music I wanted at whatever volume I wanted read what I wanted, opened the windows when I …	/r/Divorce_Men	04/03/24 06:47 PM
8	I’m a sole financial provider for my stay at home wife, and 2 kids.. I’m at a point in my marriage where I feel like i’m only as good as what I can provide (my income, and occasional sex). There’s awkward silences, and I feel like maybe we’ve both grown out of love. Anyone else been here? Make an earnest attempt to save your marriage and your relationship. But you need her to start working ASAP. Otherwise courts will want to maintain the "status quo" which means that in divorce they will want you to still provide everything like when you were married. You'll need to pay child support, alimony, plus she'll get half of all your assets and they can even make you pay her attorneys fees. It's an inhumane system and nobody thinks it will happen to them until it does. She needs to start…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/02/24 08:56 PM
4	Wife confessed to affair Get a lawyer. Put the home you're inheriting in a trust. If she just hands it down to you it becomes a marital asset.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/24 01:13 AM
0	Never Imagined it would happen to us. What do I do? Man that will be so challenging since I'm so handsome and totally used to going out to meeting women other than my wife jumping on my junk. But I will try my darndest to go out this very weekend and fend off all these hotties going crazy over my body	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/21 12:07 AM
1	Never Imagined it would happen to us. What do I do? I hope she is. I really do.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/21 09:43 PM
4	Never Imagined it would happen to us. What do I do? Ah-huh. It's a career that pays at least $70k starting out in SoFla. What's your point?	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/21 09:09 PM
0	Never Imagined it would happen to us. What do I do? Technically, yes. But shit is going to go down. She's going to play victim, that I'm not respecting the space and time for which she asked. We are supposedly trying to keep it civil amd leave lawyers out of it so going back may jeopardize all that. Although the way she's been talking makes me 99% she's already talked to a lawyer. I'm afraid if lawyers get involved it's going to be an all-out war and since she has no income she's going to go to her dad and drain his retirement. That's terrible by…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/21 07:54 PM
0	Never Imagined it would happen to us. What do I do? She keeps saying she feels I'm trying to record her just by having my phone on me. She refuses to speak on the phone, only WhatsApp or text. That tells me she has either spoken to people poisoning her or an attorney because that's not AT ALL like her. Even speaking to an attorney is not like her. Today she tried to insinuate that a slap on the butt, which we playfully did to one another when unsuspecting, is tantamount to me "hitting" her. I tried to call a couple of family law attorneys and soo…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/21 07:12 PM
-6	Never Imagined it would happen to us. What do I do? I've been staying at my parents for almost 2 weeks already	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/21 05:46 PM