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just_ivy_wtf Archive

View 9 posts and 195 comments by just_ivy_wtf on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
123

SEEKING ADVICEjust_ivy_wtf/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 08:31 PM
119

CULTURAL MISOGYNYjust_ivy_wtf/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 02:43 PM
93

GREEN FLAG 🟢just_ivy_wtf/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 09:29 AM
46

NAH, SISjust_ivy_wtf/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 04:58 PM
40

FDS SUCCESS!just_ivy_wtf/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:07 PM
36

FDS ANTHEM 🎶just_ivy_wtf/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 04:10 PM
1

SEEKING ADVICEjust_ivy_wtf/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 10:45 AM
1

QUEEN SH*Tjust_ivy_wtf/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 09:58 AM
1

SEEKING ADVICEjust_ivy_wtf/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 11:23 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Because we consider it trashy to spend a lot of money on flashy things. It's cultural, we're really not used to having so much stuff. And yes, Europeans are very judgemental, making it much harder for queens in Europe to even embrace the libfem brand of feminism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 11:49 PM
11

Yes. The only actual guy friend ive had for most of my life Is autistic (like me)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:02 AM
7

Im so sorry for your loss, so many hugs from me. My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 6 months ago due to my dad working her to the bone for him and his family members, and he isnt even letting her rest now, not cleaning up After himself and picking Petty fights with me. I get you OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:28 PM
2

How did She do that???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 11:46 PM
6

You dont seem to understand the difference between bipolar and man periods.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 10:34 PM
3

OCD and PTSD are fundamentally different, in that they're generally seen as harmless diagnoses. Despite this, ive met LVM using PTSD as an excuse for rape and assault, and blaming anxiety for their controlling abuse. Rapid cycling bipolar is literal hell, but I have no idea what It has to do with wearing one's heart on one's sleeve or with being a LVM. I do agree that a LVM is more dangerous when mentally ill, but anyone who does suffer from what is first of all a life-threatening illness does n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 10:28 PM
12

As someone who has bipolar, i dont appreciate the term being used as a shorthand for abuse tactics. Having a mental health issue doesnt mean you cannot be a responsible adult about It and communicate. I know plenty of people who manage the condition without hurting others. Trash men are ostensibly trash regardless of any mental health issue they may have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 10:15 PM
15

Omg this ^
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:36 PM
1

HAHAHAH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 10:05 AM
8

Yes i think its a constant dehydration. I have a few part time gigs working From home and am 24/7 caretaking so i dont ever even think of drinking water
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 10:05 PM
2

Tbh southern Italy Is extremely misogynistic. Really depends on family though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:54 PM
10

Lies. Many italian moms are huge pickmes for their sons, others teach their children to be responsible adults.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:53 PM
0

YES
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:51 PM
1

Im italian and people do live with their parents unless they move away for work related reasons or to get married but across cultural norms you can still vet. Actuslly, It gives you an opportunity to see: does he work, does he do chores, does he support his family? Does he have goals hes saving towards or Is he pissing rent money away on booze?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:50 PM
11

Buying sex isnt part of the culture, your ex was Just a douche™
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:47 PM
23

May i ask, HOW? I dont drink very often but since turning 25 i get hungover without being drunk if im drinking wine... It may have to do with basic levels of dehydration though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:41 PM
4

i was about to write this in the original comment. i appreciate that the situation is different, yeah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:13 PM
29

yes, there are. my mother has terminal cancer and is in constant pain. she's frustrated at not being.able to do everything.as.she did once, let alone to take care of us. life is messier than that anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 08:07 AM
25

didn't read past the first paragraph, this was too depressing and gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:39 PM
4

Just the other week outside of the police station some hobo saw me on the sidewalk and crossed the sidewalk with his stupid cart to trip me over while leaning in way too close (wasn't wearing a mask). I had to hop over it and power walk away. He even shouted at me for bumping into him, at which I shouted at him to go fuck himself.. I honestly cannot anymore with the scrotes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:25 PM
2

thanks for the info! Planning to stay CF ahaaaaa
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:50 AM
9

Can you please share when youre done with It (obscuring your name ofc) would love to read It!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:01 AM
15

As far as i know, removal has a stare of hormonal consequences, which Is the only reason i wouldnt go for it. What Is the nuvaring thing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 10:44 AM
14

Even if It had nothing to do with all the perverted stuff all the comments have mentioned, It shows superficiality, mistrust and projection, as well as boundary pushing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:02 AM
12

Yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 02:58 AM
142

A man doing that kind of thing on a first date sets you up for the whole relationship. My dad has always housed stray relatives (men) with his own small DAUGHTERS in the house without ever asking us, nor our mother. Clearly, this was an inconvenience for us, but the burden of care rested on our mother. A man who thinks nothing of forcing you to care for anyone/thing is a man who doesn't value your time and work. He just wants to do something good at your expense. In this case, the man could easi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 08:07 AM
39

I've "gone down" on men (read: put my mouth there a couple times while actually jacking them off) to avoid rape tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 09:33 PM
3

Did you date my ex??? Super thoughtful gifts and lovely grand gestures and emotional abuse and boundary breaking 24/7. Showed up on an exam day across the country and stalked me for the whole day outside school, probably helping me flunk. Called my dad and told him super personal info, still updates his whatsapp with guilt trippy phrases... Everyone thinks he's SOOOO romantic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 11:04 PM
16

Anything that requires the labour of others isn't a human right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 09:46 AM
14

Please can you DM me the link to the yoga?! How much is it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 04:57 AM
59

I'm autistic and have been way too lenient on "brutal honesty" because I often say nice things in the least kind way possible. But even I know that you balance the usefulness of a comment and what you want to get across. Some things, though true, are just useless and hurtful to the person hearing them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 11:33 PM
4

Same!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 02:00 PM
6

I've seen there's actually a lot of overlap between gifted and autostic diagnostic criteria. I don't know where you get the "reverse social skills", but there are literal schools to teach gifted kids social skills. Empathy in autistic people is also very pronounced, and autistic people are describes as having more empathy than the average but not being able to express it. Others, such as myself, have intellectual empathy (a strong sense of justice) but not emotional empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 08:37 PM
5

My sources are from Temple Grandin saying this, it's a long-observed reality in the autistic community because of the way that diagnoses are impacted by socioeconomic status, parents, community. I was never diagnosed but was considered "gifted" until I was diagnosed at 23, my best friend from childhood who acts the exact same as me was diagnosed at 6. It's just that he was a boy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:06 PM
16

I have autism and this is the main issue I've encountered with my exes, who are mostly "weird" so vetting them strictly a la FDS wouldn't have worked. I dumped them all as soon as I realized they didn't actually see me. But sometimes it took months for the abuse to manifest or for me to realise they were objectifying me in a non-sexual way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:59 AM
14

Hahahha classic "Yeah but theres so many carbon copies of you, Gary"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:53 AM
6

Gifted is usually autism lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:51 AM
8

I was warned by FDSers and I didn't listen, I also ignored all the red flags lol. So honestly its my bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 04:28 PM
6

My mom has a terminal illness and my dad keeps texting this random woman in ghana. My dad is a LVM and my mom went psychotic recently from realising, so I'm not gonna tell her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 10:12 AM
7

Funny thing is, I am a bit dom and he killed it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:58 AM
16

And yet his fetish was being subbed. They say it's about control... Well he was such a control freak he had to force me to send him SMSs telling him what to do. Such a mindfuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:57 AM
29

I had an ex who was into this, but somehow it was always in his terms anyway and he would ruin the mood by MAKING me do stuff to him. Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 08:43 AM
16

The reason why she died at 27 was actually mostly alcohol poisoning and the fact she was so awfully underweight she OD'd. And to this day, after having had 11 of my best years eaten up by ED, I think this is still the main thing she did to fuck her life up. I'm convinced she did some of the drugs to get skinnier. I don't think we shouldn't hold her accountable, but she was awfully abused by her family and especially her father as a child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 08:39 AM
7

Christ what a wild ride! Also how she started this with no connection to the original point of the post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 04:48 PM
6

What was the thread?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 04:27 PM
10

This is some shocking stuff - of course LVM wouldnt want to find out they weren't able to give their wife an orgasm, so the solution was to chop it all off! Imagine if women didn't want to inconvenice themselves with their husbands ...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 04:20 PM
18

Big agree, I made one comment to point this out and was downvoted into oblivion
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 04:08 PM
6

I think this is the key to it. Recently I got a series of photos taken and one of my absolute favorite ones are of me scrunching up my face from sun. Not pretty, but FIERCE and INTENSE. I think the way women do themselves up is different whether they're doing it for themselves or others and last year I mastered the perfect in between, what I find attractive as a woman, so I'm not letting myself go and I'm not dressing up for me. My style is more masculine and that's ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 09:05 AM
9

I wish this was me, but I have autism. I have a feeling this keeps me from making friends with LOTS of other girls. I have female friends for gossip, but most of the friends I share interests with are boys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 01:07 PM
37

I'm getting tired of this, it's not true that not being able to get out means someone has low self-esteem or nothing going on in their life. Sometimes, the person has managed to fit one's schedule perfectly. Sometimes, there is love and pity and other fuzzy feelings that take a period of detachment. Oversimplifying and vilifying women who are getting ready to leave mentally is discouraging and doesn't even accurately represent reality. Took me a whole 6 months to leave, post FDS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 07:01 PM
4

Obviously it's a much better option. There are not many other specializations, that's what I'm saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 02:17 PM
21

Yes and no. Not everyone's ambitions are the same, and I have been tempted to get into sex work as a young and silly girl out of the frustration of not being taken seriously in my male-dominated field. Being treated like fresh meat and not paid made me want to at least get something out of it. I don't think its sustainable to tell EVERYONE to learn how to code. As someone who is learning how to and enjoying the process, I wouldn't want to do it for a living and I realize in my field there are me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 12:28 PM
24

Has constantly happened to me. Not falling for intellectual conversation anymore tho
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:47 PM
40

I think it makes sense she went to that, since she was insulting OP's mother's job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 02:58 PM
2

so what, men still show their LVM colours later on. who cares if they changed their mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 02:51 PM
153

You don't, though. Hence why you need to vet for a lot longer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 05:54 PM
2

That's probably how they experience is, but missing out on social signals is how most others experience it, famously. You end up overthinking how others might feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 09:53 AM
7

Yepppp and you still get shat on for social awkwardness :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 09:52 AM
10

I have Aspergers and coming out as such to explain why your social skills can be "off" is risky business. It can be useless or even backfire
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 09:26 AM
2

Nope. Performative shit is not the one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:36 PM
3

My mom just had a stroke because my father is such a LVM in sheep clothing ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 09:21 PM
8

I died LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:54 AM
10

I'm shocked at the ignorance in the comments. Grimes clearly has struggled to find someone interesting to her, which to me seems why she then fell for the abuse. If she was aspie, the common interests would explain so much: love for. a topic can easily be confused with feelings for a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:52 AM
8

It is surprisingly easy to diagnose neurodiverse people - children and adults unknowingly do it all the time when they bully, tease and exclude people on the spectrum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:46 AM
2

Can you please link sources to the "aspie gf" discussions? This makes me sick but I must know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:43 AM
16

And pinkpilled!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 09:10 AM
-3

Why tf would you describe her as "articulate" like she shouldn't be able to speak? Christ.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:47 AM
9

I thought she might be from India
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:14 AM
2

Please, tell me more. That exact same thing happened to me too but there were so many other red flags I didn't notice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:11 AM
34

Yessss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:05 AM
10

I was bookish and demure once and was labelled "loser" and frumpy sooooooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 09:15 AM
6

Like mine for example
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 09:13 AM
20

In some countries the traditional Kanun does not allow women to witness or make a promise/contract
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 09:13 AM
12

That IS a sister subreddit - female life strategy. How to navigate coworkers, finances, leveling up, non-romantic relationships
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 10:20 AM
2

I'm curious as to what the context of the discussion is? Like how do they interpret hating pedophiles as a political lesbian/Germaine Greer vibe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:31 AM
7

I'd rather my own brand on gf energy: I'm celibate and I'll wear potato sacks if I so please. Not depending on anyone for validation except for my own success.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 08:45 AM
12

Happy I spent my morning watching this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 08:25 AM
31

Sorry if im nosy, but was his submissiveness an issue or just the pornsickness at large? Did you act on it? I'm currently with a submissive and am wondering if this fact makes him LV
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 08:37 AM
1

I love this! What did you use to code the bot?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 01:21 PM
1

No problem, I found this such a long time afterwards! Women have not been subjected to the no-fat standard. The hair removal situation is quite real, and part of the reason Ancient Greece preferred em young (young boys are more effeminate, therefore prettier, than full-grown men). Really, the Greek ideal of a man is the most woman-like kind of man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:02 PM
12

I feel like the only girl who has never gotten random dick pics? Like, literally, not once. They have asked to send them but when I say no, they don't lol. it's true though, men are ugly monkeys
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 09:11 AM
0

I'm specifically talking about the role of women in slavery, genocide and racism. Yes, the pickmes helped A LOT. They didn't have to, not every woman with internalized misogyny ended up oppressing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 09:01 AM
14

I think this is really underestimating the role of women in this whole story. Pickmes were molded by their pickme mothers and friends, who were also molded by pickmes... Some may have been threatened or coaxed by males, but not ALL pickmes (lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 07:42 AM
11

I think a lot of crime would have to do with mentally ill women, or for resources. Then again, I think a world of women would eventually become less unequal economically
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:13 PM
33

Yes, but when it comes to the pillaging and the subjugating of whole races the pickmes have helped them HARD in the process.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:07 PM
18

yeppp
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 09:57 PM
2

There are many theories: what is certain is that she is a woman from Naples. That's it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:22 PM
1

HAHAHHAHA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:11 PM
2

OMG
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:09 PM
3

This is a deep issue and I don’t have an exact philosophy. My girl loves princesses and I am grateful for some of those newer stories being about more independent girls (Brave, Moana, Mulan). I loved Little Mermaid growing up and the music is so great - but the story is the worst! Give up your whole life for a man! it's very true though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:35 PM
2

I’ve had athletes foot before (very uncomfortable and painful sometimes) and my socks or feet never stank up a room🤮 same. You only get so smelly if you have athlete's foot and you don't wash
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 02:40 PM
8

You are not overreacting to a boundary that is obvious to you. While it is true that men would usually sleep with their female friends, if she has a bf it might be the case that he has no chance with her anyway and potentially a friendship. If you have vetted him appropriately there is a remote chance in hell they might actually be """just friends""". Regardless, if they are actually friends they should want to meet up with their respective partners, and you can just set that expectation from no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 10:36 AM
34

What the actual fuck, if any man ever did this to me he'd get the whole bag of flour dumped on his head, and clean it up after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 10:31 AM
7

I came here to say just this. It's even more important to watch out for any red flags a NVM would want to hide by covering them up with this Yes, but at least finding LVM/NVM who try and hide it. Fake HVM just happen when you raise your standards, I think it's a valuable experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 06:10 AM
34

Same here, I was 23. I've been called "secretly a man", "not a real girl", "psychopath" (by male friends) and many more things for all the other aspects that have nothing to do with empathy. I always used to defend myself, saying I "think" empathy rather than feel it, and I still think I do a much better job than some men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 06:00 AM
28

I was sexually assaulted and my friend was raped by the same man a few years ago. They just pressed her for details until she refused to give her statement and tried to change my wording. He confessed recently, and they literally did not do anything. They wrote it down. That's it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 05:26 AM
6

Number 11: cuddles with no sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:16 AM
12

Yes, but also sometimes men use the benefits to slowly slip in the abuse. CAREFUL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:13 AM
16

don't reply. he stands you up once, he will keep doing so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:04 AM
5

Fulfill your need for attention with awesome girlfriends that have little to no pickmeisha energy, friends who are levelling up and doing something with their lives and whose conversation does not center around men. You will feel a lot less alone and more understood than by pining for the scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:03 AM
1

<3 <3 thank you! Definitely happy to have lost so much weight overnight hehe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:00 AM
1

Thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 06:57 AM
3

I discovered this sub during the quarantine and did a whole lot of reflecting about my pattern of abusive relationships. I thought I wouldn't fall for it again, and I did. Every man is LV in a different way and you might be fooled by a different genre of scrote!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 06:57 AM
1

That actually sounds like me but I'm autistic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 01:35 PM
1

yes, and it is very different
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 07:09 AM
11

That sounds really nice of him, but remember that generosity is also time and energy. If money is no object to him, pay attention to how he deals with the other two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 10:54 AM
17

ah yes, the "intellectual" negging. it's exactly the same as all the other kinds but more subtle. You are different people, with different interests. Remember you are getting value from him and he still has to prove himself to you, NOT the other way around
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:34 PM
11

As said above, I was saying that while good looks don't guarantee good treatment (it then becomes a matter of what you will accept and your confidence), being unattractive almost always means you will be treated like shit. Not in romantic settings, in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 02:08 PM
7

As mentioned above, I do weed out the gross, but I was talking about society at large and how not to get thrown under the bus for being unattractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 02:07 PM
5

I'm not talking about romance (being unattractive with a good personality has treated me well in that respect) - I'm talking about society! So I guess I was seeking advice on how to not get treated like shit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 02:06 PM
13

I'm not saying being attractive guarantees being treated well (it becomes a matter of confidence if you are) but that being unattractive guarantees you will be treated like shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 02:04 PM
1

e allora smetti di rispondergli! cosi' almeno non ci pensi
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:58 PM
1

Perche' ci sei ancora amica?! Mollalo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:49 PM
1

Io te lo dico, mi sembra uno stronzo a rimettere in ballo ste cose. E' un LVM completo, e lo sai anche te.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 04:13 PM
1

Lo so che non e' carino a sentirsi, ma se a te fosse capitato di volare a Boston e lui magari e' di New York (anzi, Italia e Austria sono piu' vicine di cosi' e meglio collegate), non saresti andata a fargli un saluto??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:53 PM
1

E' il principio che e' sbagliato, mi pare chiaro che sto sforzo non l'avrebbe fatto per te. E' molto semplice, lui vuole "tenerti come amica" (supporto morale, te che lo ascolti, lo coccoli etc) e tu evidentemente ci stai male. Non ha senso per te e per il tuo equilibrio mentale, capisci che intendo?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:49 PM
2

Sicuramente questa quarantena ti sta dando troppo tempo per rimuginare, ma non sprecare tempo a pensare alle esperienze passate perche' sicuramente non riesci a vederle oggettivamente! A quanto ho imparato, il 99% degli amici maschi non valgono la pena: brutto a dirsi ma spesso c'e'un secondo fine. Lo so che con le donne a volte non e' semplice, ma ti consiglio di usare questo tempo per aggiustare le cose che non vanno invece di starci a soffrire. Hai ragione ad esserci rimasta male, se questo e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:44 PM
4

I disagree with the IT, art, and high-stress jobs necessarily being red flags. You just need to be careful of how the pitfalls of all of these are being handled. An artist can make a stable income if he is particularly good and has a good work ethic. (Obviously, don't support him) A high-stress worker can cope in healthy ways. IT man can also work remotely if he is good at his job and creative. No job is necessarily a green or a red flag, it all depends on the man's work ethic, healthy stress re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:33 PM
11

It seems like you have a lot of emotional energy within you: don't put emotional work into something that is just a friendship. Save that for your female friends and the guys who actually like you enough to go halfway across the world for you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 05:54 PM
2

lol that's true. Although the worst thing about ugly men is not actually how ugly they are but the LV insecurities that stem from it and the pent up hatred. Reason why he's an ex lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 05:48 PM
2

same actually haha Dating a HVM who is still studying and living between his divorced parents' homes: he does house chores and has space because he is often alone, he works and takes care of himself while saving and studying. He has some kind of general idea of when he is going to move away and this makes sense. My only concern is the babying, but this is not his case at all - I would think it was silly for him to go and pay rent close enough to home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:47 PM
9

Yep. This was my asshole ex through and through. He whacked me over the ass with a belt when I was naked and not had my back to him, just a few hours after I found out a friend died, because I all of a sudden stopped putting up with his "anger bullshit" and started grey rocking him. I started screaming at him at the top of my lungs and he had an "anxiety attack" and emotional breakdown. These assholes somehow always find the way to make it all about them so you're somehow "helping them"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:40 PM
12

He's not "your kryptonite", he's an abusive asshole and you feel the need for connection and love. He knows this and is manipulating you by devaluing you. He sounds exactly like my stalker ex who used to be emotionally abusive. I also have massive anger issues, and managed to control it in order to avoid conflict. Guess what though? Anger issues don't consistently benefit the person with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:31 PM
-11

I'm sorry, but I genuinely disagree on physical attractiveness. I noticed it most with a guy I dated, who was a 2, and over the span of a couple dates became at least a 4 in the way I physically SAW him, and attraction was insane. Vice versa, have dated some pretty boys with not much physical attractiveness-
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:28 PM
13

The part about them being babied is very valid though. I think it depends on context: in some cultures, it's customary to live in multi-generational households even after marriage and support the elderly. The guy may have divorced parents or have other unusual living situations. In my country, it is very unusual (and a sign of familial distress and struggle) to live alone in the same city as one's parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:06 PM
27

I've done that before...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:00 PM
14

open relationship is consensual and mutual, 99% of cases it's an excuse for the guy to fuck around
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 09:47 PM
31

> men kill their partners at a much higher rate all over "I sleep" > women stop wearing makeup for 2 weeks "real shit"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 06:43 PM
17

Context
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:29 PM
107

every single point on the man's list is like 10 different "roles" in the female's LOL "a gynecologist" "a sexologist" "a psychologist" "a psychiatrist" so ridiculous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 09:52 AM
41

WHAT THE FUCK
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 09:40 AM
10

because men lie and you'll actually have a much better shot by asking them, not replying yourself, and keeping up the vetting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:11 AM
3

LMAO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 10:31 PM
7

The guys conflating it with nice guys in the thread is what triggers me the most though - they are projecting so hard
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 10:31 PM
9

Same here sis. I went a lot more crazy than the girl here, who seems to have stayed relatively level-headed in front of all the INSANE gaslightiing (intended to turn you into a psycho)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 10:29 PM
19

YOU CAN'T WIN ​ P.S. This is the first time I hear "scrotation" in this context and always assumed it was the range of men one is dating? Am I wrong?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 10:27 PM
20

YES, well done! Any time with an abuser is time wasted, the only thing you can do is leave ASAP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:44 PM
46

Seems like you are really suffering at the "loss" of this A-hole. Don't ignore the red flags before you sleep with a guy, lovebombing is at best an immature and at worst a manipulative thing to do. You'll and be wiser next time sis <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:41 PM
2

<3 It was great to share the same doubt I've been having <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:37 PM
1

If he is HV and treating you well, you are insecure and need to fix your emotional needs without relying on him to make everything right. Or you might have misjudged him and he's a LVM who is emotionally manipulative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:35 PM
1

By everything you have mentioned above he reminds me of my HV ex with whom sex felt very "true" even with no kink happening; like an exchange and not like a domination . My theory is everyone is actually a switch so both dom and sub in life. In non-sexual aspects of life as well it seems that these men have a comfort in expressing parts of themselves which are not strictly masculine, it might just come out more when they feel safe with someone. I do not remember Deadpool in detail. Prostate is t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:27 PM
2

quite vanilla: proof of this fact is that he considers tights a "kink" LOL apart from this stuff I mentioned above, which he reports coming across accidentally and getting fascinated by. As I said above, there is a chance it might extend further though he has not delved since he does not watch a lot. What about your friend's bf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:16 PM
2

I haven't actually been dating him for long but I have known him 8+ years and in the same friendship group growing up, and we've been on each other's radars for years so I know he is a HVM. We talked about mutual friends' relationships and his view of things is very similar to FDS?!?! So yeah, many green flags.He has talked about being into "chastity play" so essentially being denied sex and self-stimulation of any sort until she so desires. He might be into other things but not that he knows of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:01 PM
8

Currently dating a HVM who is into this a little bit and this has also raised a few questions with me. My take on male submissives who are otherwise HV is this: I think these men are used to taking on full responsibility for their lives, and in the bedroom they might want to reliquish that a little bit. I don't see anything wrong with this, as long as it is not pushed to the extreme and degrading to their partner (which it doesn't seem like it in either case). If something major crops up, I will…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 08:36 PM
10

Gosh, I'm so sorry this happened to you! But now you know better: put all the energy you put into bettering his life into yourself <3 we're all with you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 05:25 PM
9

Started speaking to a guy I've known for 8 + years and have dated sporadically over the years. Thank you FDS for allowing me to be more detached and analytical than usual. If I still had the pickmeisha in me I'd have nexted him because he seemed "uninteresting" (aka lack of trauma bonding and we don't share exactly the same interests) although he is amazing and I can speak to him about anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:30 PM
15

- That is not how mania works. You are not just "overexcited sometimes": it is a thing that builds over the span of weeks/months and at its worst reaches a peak (psychosis), after which you crash. So no, his sporadic behaviour is not a "low level mania" if he is back to normal the next day - Unkept appearance is not a symptom of bipolar unless he is in one of the worst depressions of his life. Again, how long has she been seeing this guy? In which case he would not have energy to be dating and i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:25 PM
12

There are a few misunderstandings here. Bipolar is a lifelong mental issue, there is no such thing as recovery. But, people with bipolar can still be productive and non-fucked up members of society and HVM/HVW. Someone with the diagnosis can still be mentally stable enough to only have a manic episode every once in a while, and episodes might even be years apart. I struggle with this among other mental issues, and the thing here is being able to provide value to a partner (semi)consistently - wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:17 PM
10

this cut deep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:10 PM
5

You're saying you're willing to compromise on your standards because you consider the man you're with to add value to your life. I think FDS does not force anyone to adhere to the principles fully, but rather expects its members to contribute helpful advice to the conversation on how to get one's standards matched fully and the advice on here is valuable to anyone. For example, I tend to take the advice about finances on here with a pinch of salt but I understand the rationale behind them, and I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:08 PM
1

we've all been there :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 11:42 AM
3

even social media removal is useless (I tried) when you stay a pickmeisha at heart and find their phone number again etc... such wastemen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 11:38 PM
7

Sorry about your experiences too, finding FDS is like undoing all of society's gaslighting <3 <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 11:36 PM
10

12 or 13. My dentist (whom I had known since I was born) said he was glad he knew my parents or he might find himself “in a bit of trouble...” Went to my dentist (I had known him since I was 6 and he knew my whole family) alone at the age of 20 and he felt my boob while I was under full body anaesthesia and he was drilling a hole in my tooth. I looked at the female assistant with a telling pleading look and she looked back at me with a sigh in her eyes. I told my mother to boycott him and she de…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 11:32 PM
2

OH SORRY I didn't realise this was LVM included
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 02:16 PM
30

Was still partially hung up on relationships that didn't pan out the way I wanted them to. Thank you FDS for getting me over them in such a short period of time <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 05:49 PM
4

I thought this was a man singing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 04:19 PM
73

"light" BDSM as he doesn't feel comfortable with actually hurting anyone :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 04:16 PM
5

Nudes have always been a limit of mine
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 02:41 PM
15

Call Me Maybe - babe he should be calling you I Don't Want Him You Can Have Him & Do What you Gotta Do- Nina Simone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 02:05 PM
29

Recently sniffed this out on a guy pretending to be HV and when I decided to break it off he proceeded to ring me 10 times with no concern for my autonomy. LVM gonna LV
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 01:08 PM
22

Of course you should be willing to, but it should almost never come to that. A HVM cares about your boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 12:27 PM
4

I totally understand where you're coming from, this is why it is important for girls to be taught boundaries. However, dating as a young woman gave me some kind of "emotional education", meeting HVM and LVM before the scumbags develop advanced emotional manipulation (although it happens surprisingly early).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 09:44 AM
4

I don't agree: dating is a part of growing up, but dating older people is definitely not healthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:18 PM
21

just because they haven't made a move doesn't mean they're completely platonic. Conversely, I have true friends I have turned down right off the bat and casually and have stayed friends, supporting each other and through relationships etc. I find a bit of healthy distance is key anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:14 PM
6

love how you spotted the source ha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 06:44 PM
1

wym?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 06:43 PM
5

even if i was totally indoctrinated I would not have any info on the actual product?!?!??!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 06:42 PM
5

I used to be the shitty pickme friend - slow fade is the only way when it gets too much. Recovering atm, at least now when I do talk about relationships it's cracking jokes about the LVM I dump and my friend is back in orbit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 04:54 PM
3

not sure, it happens pretty early on for some
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 04:47 PM
7

yeah, fb is saying it's my age and country, should've stated it more clearly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 04:14 PM
32

It did not occur to me, done! Also checking on why I'm seeing the ad. OBVIOUSLY, a scrote who I knew in school and went on a Tinder date with and who tried to force kisses on me while I was really drunk likes the page. OBVIOUSLY. (and demographics)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 03:08 PM
1

imagine needing a sky daddy to tell you to not treat its other creatures like dirt under your feet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:41 PM
2

and they control it because they have other things in their lives??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:36 PM
9

^ THIS when I figured all men are trash I was 16 and went digging in my father's internet history... found some pretty awful stuff and wad traumatised for life told my mother and she literally gaslit me (and herself) I have since somehow gone on ignoring it because he's otherwise "good" but promised myself I will never be the pickmeisha I was raised as
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:23 PM
8

I wish it was just a matter of intention: my father is a deeply caring person and he worked 18 hours a day to improve his family's situation for 20 years. But it kind of upsets me how since he met my mom he has taken for granted the fact that she essentially mothers him. He doesn't manage any one of his basic tasks (forgetfulness runs in the family) and yet he has the gall to scold me if I struggle to live independently! I have autism and he has some sort of executive dysfunction as well. But I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:03 PM
2

Agreed. So there are only two possible ways out: either you GTOW or you grow cold and try to obtain what you want from them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 03:55 PM
1

he trash has almost taken itself out at this stage ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 03:42 PM
6

- Applying for some of the jobs the economy hasn't tanked yet - Teaching myself Internet skills so I can start working online if that doesn't work out - Cooking and writing up some blog posts about it for later - Clearing out my house (since my gma died I live in her house alone and I didn't have the emotional energy for it) - Yoga/ exercising (since I can't walk places) - Reading again after a while
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 03:33 PM
4

my thoughts exactly, it points to the total one-sidedness of the situation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 03:23 PM
1

will do (actually) was giving benefit of the doubt but the guy is literally a massive waving red flag xxx
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 03:17 PM
3

Literally me rn But I'm also using it as an excuse to keep men at least 2m from my person
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 04:40 PM
1

Because we've been friends for so long and tbh he does add value to my life. Our friendship has always been based on friendly competition and his work ethic and his outlook on life have encouraged me and pushed me forward. He also copes well with rejection and I know if this doesn't work out he'll stay my friend (because I've rejected him before and it was ok for 5 yeas afterwards with no kind of subtext)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:29 PM
3

I 100% get where you're coming from and learning to not excuse mental issues because boo boo scrote sad is part of the process. I have my fair share of diagnoses (bipolar, autistic, ADHD) and I know for a fact that men who have been through a tenth of what what I go through every day somehow always seem to think it's their right to be awful and impact others. (See also: autistic women and underdiagnosis due to us not being total douchebags) From your post all I get is messiness, that's why I rep…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 11:54 AM
3

Hi, So been practicing FDS principles and since discovering the thread I've realised I'd been falling into the trap of a narc LVM I've been friends with for years. He's pretending to be a HVM (he does provide value in many different ways but it seems artificial) and it's funny because now his negs don't work and him worming his way into my personal business without him exposing any of himself isn't working. Oh yeah he also triangulated every single one of his gfs with the previous one. In the ve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 09:53 AM
4

Deflecting responsibilities is a massive dick move. t But both me and my father have ADHD and honestly there is little difference in the way that socialisation "forces" you to be more orderly, because it's like my brain "resets" and I forget what I've been doing. He will not get his shit together, see if you can live with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 09:13 AM
1

Because infinite scrolling
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/20 07:41 AM
1

"Manipulating" men into LTR here means holding back slightly on the sexual favours until some sort of commitment is made (which isn't beyond any kind of transactional relationship that has existed in history), I don't understand why this is shocking? And FDS for women in relationships has a lot to do with not overinvesting on time, resources, emotional effort without being treated well in return. Which is sensible advice, as a woman's time is much more limited when finding a long term partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/20 10:54 PM
1

shiiiiiiiiit, how can you tell? I've had this impression a few times when telling about my experiences, but only from overt trash
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 04:37 PM
2

I didn’t share, but I had a one night stand with this psycho (he revealed his crazy after the fact) and he thought we were together after that. I realized he was bi-polar pretty quickly and didn’t pursue anything with him so he started blowing up my phone with texts about how I must sleep with every man I meet and did I know who he was because there are so many others I’ve slept with. So just by sleeping with them they’ll assume you’re a slut too. This isn’t all men, but even the ones who don’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 04:34 PM
1

Regardless, it is a serious violation of personal space. Just because a man expects something doesn't mean he's entitled to it. also, might have been dictated by living situation(?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 02:26 PM
1

It's only empowering if you're going at your own pace and getting something you want out of it as well. Most often it's a sore excuse for men to use you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 02:25 PM
3

"mutually beneficial" is code for sugar daddy/baby relationship
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 12:39 PM
28

oh they know
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 11:52 AM
1

it seems like he has Asperger's tbh (I am diagnosed and have had a hard time dating), he isn't necessarily a bad guy. maybe see where this goes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 08:01 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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