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kinkardine Archive

View 5 posts and 611 comments by kinkardine on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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29

Yup I once dated a manager who reached out to me after I left the company, he was an awesome leader at work, outside work felt like I was mommying a never ending tantrum throwing toddler.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 01:22 PM
33

Excellent sum of FDS principles. I am amazed to see how many women around me with tremendous potential can sacrifice their life compensating for male deficiency in the hope for some intimacy. I have a pickme neighbor, she is strong and resourceful, but still stuck up on the idea of romantic relationships should be the ultimate goal. She has two kids with two different ex, her kids move around five different households(dads, grannies) in every single week so that she has time for dating. She was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/22 01:45 AM
15

This . It’s their governing philosophy. They know we can and must say ‘no’ but they score on the times we do not say ‘no’. I learnt it from my male supervisors in workplace, ‘did she say no? If she said ‘no’ then we have nothing to do here, but did she say no yet?’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 05:34 AM
49

Yes this ‘using men’ is just so embarrassing- sex for men and women are so different- I wish they taught politics of sex in school rather than biological aspect of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/22 06:09 PM
40

Yeah it is true, life is way harder than asking someone out, being in the relationship zone one has to prove that he can take life’s blow with me, he doesn’t need to rescue or become fixer but must have the strength to protect the people he loves, as much as I do, not even having the balls to even ask means she has to do all the muscle work, mule work, weightlifting to keep the relationship going.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/22 06:01 PM
35

Wow that psychiatrist needs a therapist! Still hang up on ex, married and hoping for a side chick through a barely legal aged patient!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 02:31 PM
37

Lol yeah I feel the same, if I was born 100 yrs ago, when my hubby died people would have burn/bury me alive with his dead body - that was the cultural norm to preserve purity of a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 04:09 AM
40

Lol douchebag calling all douchebags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 04:51 PM
64

I felt it is about an attachment style- predator attachment or protector attachment. I had parents who always were predators that made me realize it does not happen just because they are parent, just because they are parent they won’t protect you, some parents raise kids to be the bait to throw to the wolves to save their back, or just because they can and kids usually do not think that parents can do wrong to them. Every person I come across I check/vet what attachment I formulate with that per…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 01:41 AM
10

Noted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 09:35 AM
104

Self awareness is a must, look without self awareness just makes your predator pool larger- I mean if you look at the top 5 videos in porn hub at any time .. the girls there are stupendously beautiful..but how they are being treated there? How come they end up there?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 08:23 AM
25

True -there is a all or nothing attitude towards look. This is a spectrum - you can absolutely choose what is sustainable yet comfortable for you. You are not giving into social conditioning here- this is a valuable commodity you need to master to reach your full potential.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 08:21 AM
55

This. This is how the society’s brain is wired! Grandma was right. I resented leveraging my looks for decades but always had to put double and triple amount of other effort to earn any sort of credibility. Most times I was treated as mule to do the background- underground extensive research but hardly ever got any spotlight. If someone can pull their life without leveraging look they must have a great social capital but I, alone just cannot afford to take any risk where people would dismiss my h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 08:03 AM
208

Yeah they have fucked up the first one and now need some fresh meat- people who wants to build home will start building on it right away, I have seen my HV (both male and female) friends waiting for years till they find the person with right intentions, they don’t string along people as placeholders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 11:31 AM
36

Gosh, so many triggers in 1 post and 1 comment, how the f* ck did I miss all these resembling signs- both in me and the guys? I met a wannabe community dick, although he has his life together, has extremely hot, beautiful, successful in career wife, he still wants to fuck around to show his wife her place, and his dick needs to get validated. They will never self reflect-rather fuck some more girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 04:32 PM
25

I found my fellow south Asian men have this ingrained idea that all white women are sex maniac pornstar, they are also aware that white women have less social surveillance, like if the guy dates a girl within same race, everyone will know and expect them to be together, but outside race they can just lather, rinse, repeat the cycle of love bombing and then throw the girls in trash. And I would be highly suspicious where their dicks have been, my friends who dated South Asian guys all of them got…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 03:40 PM
57

After putting years and years of effort he loves her cause she is a sErVicE SaPiEn-a mule with boobs! If you can’t find any humane qualities of a person after 7years you should live with farm animals, lots of udders there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 09:52 PM
41

This is true, something in them makes you insecure, if someone loves you they will never make you wander around with confusion, they will assure you as soon as they can - as if their life depends on it. I have seen it multiple times with my HV friends and family. We try to internalize these things but its just our gut feeling warning us. The first time I feel insecure with any person I just purge them from my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 05:36 AM
60

These men should marry each other and leave us alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 05:32 AM
34

Even though I was happily married, I found being solo mom reduced my workload almost 60%, right now all I have to care about is me and my kid, I can easily say no to my in laws even if they reach out ( I am a widow and I am still in touch with and love my in laws) , but being married when I have to represent the family- it was too much of a work, plus you do not know how much work your hubby will put in for the baby, 90% of time he will avoid any household chores and childcare. When I look aroun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 05:25 AM
33

Amen to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 12:41 PM
68

They won’t connect the dots, I read this same thing what you wrote here, in a story in my middle school text book, where a feminist male writer wrote about this 200 years ago! It was about why don’t guys do not understand the enrichment that comes with building a bridge of communication with their partners, they just use them for patriarchal entitlement- get social clout- have sex- make her do the mule job of the household, the girl in the story desperately needed a connection to do all of these…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 09:16 PM
43

Aah the male entitlement, we were born and bred so that one day we get the golden opportunity of their willingness to be present in our vagina, and our life will be fulfilled then, we are SeX-o-SaPiEnS to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 09:11 PM
7

I literally bloomed after my mom passed away!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 06:18 AM
5

Amen to the last sentence- I don’t know why people think just because we are girl we have to have motherly nature to all kidlings ! I don’t hate babies- I am just scared of them and want to stay away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 06:08 AM
3

Being a parent I tell that to me and my kid everyday:)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 06:06 AM
3

Well me and some of my friends ( male included) opted for ‘no date’ approach in our university life, we do not date, we vet , that saved us a lot of drama, gave us lots of time to focus on our career and education. We all got married and have families too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 06:03 AM
6

Girl I am going to treasure your no.5
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 05:56 AM
31

Oh my I remember an incident with my grandma- once we were reading a religious book together, and the book said guys will have 70 angels- wifey- we call them ‘hur’ in heaven, and my grandma asked what will girls have as partner in heaven? The book said - they will have the same hubby on earth, my grandma was like, ‘ Doesn’t sound like heaven anymore.’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 11:03 PM
112

Mine would be 1. Do not change your definition based on someone else’s limited projection on you. 2. Similar to your no. 4- the universe breathes through you, treat yourself kindly 3. Never try to get conditional love, never try to fit it- it’s not you, it’s their inability to love- you can never win there 4. Never love someone who loathes themselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 02:31 AM
282

And the relationship direction will hold you back from education, finance, family, career. It took me three years to forgive myself after my 9 yrs of marriage. I was willingly and unwillingly doing so much passive holding back. And I was happily married the whole time, so when one of my another happily married friend came and congratulated me on being a widow I was surprised and she said , now you can prioritize you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 11:58 PM
4

Look a walking talking STD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 05:46 PM
2

This. and the pretty/hot the wife the tendency to cheat with others are more, these guys bag pretty wives to get social clout out of their back, not because he loves her or they have great understanding among themselves. My bestie married the guy who was 5 years after her to get a chance to date her, after 9 yrs of marriage she told me she never had a normal/ decent conversation with her hubby( bestie is extremely loyal) , but we all know her hubby fucks a pole whenever he can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 11:46 AM
211

My backbone just got froze. I hope she does not end up with another Redditor predator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 01:45 AM
35

Because of these hatred from the society I have to check up on two friends everyday to ensure they were not accidentally dead the night before. They decided to dodge death every night rather than being divorced. Some from my previous culture went back to marrying their abusive ex again, cause the projection on them and their kids, and on their ‘stray pussy’ is much harsh than being with their ex husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 06:19 PM
20

Amen And you are not the table, you are the home, where the dainty little table will sit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 05:17 AM
123

Divorced with kids is the worst case scenario to me, kids will be used as voo doo dolls to torment you in the wrong hands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 11:43 PM
64

Girls . Are . Raised . To . Be . Preys Boys . Are . Raised . To . Be . Predators The expectations from society are tactics to fuddle our boundaries to distract us. We as a human can have humane empathetic nature and also have self respect. Caring for others does not mean that you have to be a doormat. You can be a mentor. If you have to be a doormat then you are being used- leave that situation asap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 03:19 PM
10

So true, my nvm colleague just had a gf, he is nearing balding and potbelly age so he is rushing to get married, and all he told me is to how he is trying to get mortgage and baby as soon as he can but making sure nothing is on her name that way she won’t leave him( his gf’s salary is three times his salary- this made me doubt though), I got exhausted hearing this and felt how about just loving her- that can ensure she won’t leave him, how this detail trapping, abuse, exploit plan is going to ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 04:23 AM
39

How beautifully you put together what some of us had to learn through decades of struggles- thank you :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 06:58 PM
24

Men sensualize anything and everything, I remember I was once in a training - intern program where by the end of internship I must get two professional qualifications, I was having really hard time passing one exam and desperately reached out to anyone and everyone in my workplace for their input, I feel throughout the time I was giving out this ‘hysteric and desperate solo mom in a new country vibe’, there were some dork guy who helped me learn a few things, I was feeling pretty respectful of h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 05:34 PM
97

I think he is Ted’s cousin from How I Met Your Mother - both have the same brain cell deficiency and can live decades with delusion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 12:26 PM
52

Just avoid stupid man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 12:24 PM
30

Yes I noticed that as well, it happened in mostly uneducated section of my previous third world country, that women’s lives and conversation revolves around men, if I remember me and friend group never discussed men unless we considered it as a safety issue- hurting our friend. There are so many avenues to share with friends rather than making them your relationship therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 06:14 PM
17

Love the ‘you cannot win for losing’ should be a FDS slogan!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 06:09 PM
16

And that is why I think we the visible minorities should go out on date more- just to say no to the guys who has nothing but their supremacy to rub on us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 06:04 PM
40

Hugs and hugs! It hurts and it will hurt but on the bigger spectrum you dodged two bullets!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 12:05 PM
265

I laugh at these things now, these guys never want to leave the dating scene and make a home with someone. They are bargain hunters, their souls belong to thrift stores.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 12:02 PM
29

Table manners are so important and that is why l think dinner date is so important. I was raised in a patriarchal pick me culture, guys are considered idol. Once I was having dinner at a wedding and a bone ( beef stew/broth sized) hit my plate, I looked up and found the guy sitting opposite to me tore some flesh of that bone with his teeth and threw away just like that, and he was tearing another piece of boney meat and was about to do that again, that was the first time I started questioning gu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 03:27 AM
42

I think I zoned out on a date- my ear got red and head was fuming so did not matter the guy existed at that moment or not. So as a first date he brought up the idea of bar hopping, I hopped! So first he took me to this Uber cool bar, but the age group seemed 10 yr younger than me, I am mid thirty I would love to have an environment where you do not have to scream or yell to have conversation over loud music, then he suggested another cool bar, so we walked to a place which had lots of chambers w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 03:09 AM
15

Excellent insight! I kind of got a bit jealous of all the beautiful experiences you have! It does take a lot of courage to steer life’s direction that way. One reason or another you bagged the experiences and the growth that comes with it. Kudos and so proud of you! After joining FDS I started to realize that extension and partnership are different- you( and most of us) we long for what you do not have and at that particular phase who has that you long for him, so you were looking for an extensi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 02:51 AM
32

That’s too much you are asking! And all these three doesn’t include us even- they just need to be a proper human
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 04:05 PM
11

Even as a pick me, that was my standard, I don’t do ‘I don’t know’s, everyone knows what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 03:36 PM
24

True, I am four years in my widowhood, the thing about marriage is -if the person does not have similar ambitions and vision, unhealthy lifestyle/choices they will drag you down, neg you down and you spend the rest of your life doing mule job to keep up the family facade. Nope not doing that again, I have achieved so much once I started prioritizing me. Not sure I would risk it with cohabitation. Men have this inherent need to ‘fuck up everything’ . Dating is okay as long as they stay at a safe …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 06:08 PM
24

Yes, at this moment I do find having pick me drama in life can cause stress, I remember how much a friend’s pick me behaviour costed me few years of mental peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 10:55 AM
84

When I became a widow, with a small child, I wanted to feel bad, sad and lonely without my man, so I looked around to my other married friends with mAn and saw them spending their 200% in the relationships, taking care of all the child work, geriatric care for in-laws as well as their parents, taking care of their husband so that his social life and career thrives, and in all cases it is my friend’s career and education went out of the window, their friends and relatives always come second to th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 10:49 AM
36

And also the pressure to make babies- as a member of reproductive species our main duty is to restrict bad genes from the procreation pool, even basic cell division happens under optimal condition, making babies are not some kind of train that you have to get on at the last moment, it is an outcome which should only happen if things are most favourable to you. Otherwise you are already mutilating the future of your kids who had no other choice but to be born and then be punished for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 01:15 PM
21

I deeply connected with everything you just said, fellow widow here. What I felt with men(married) that they think just because I am not spending my time serving another man, he is entitled to my body. Or I am a black hole of unmet sexual needs. If they are not not married they always assume I am open for casual situation-ship, which they can toy and toss. I get the same script every single time so wondering if they have a side-fling handbook somewhere. I am happy and open to make a connection- …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 12:13 AM
17

Hugs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 11:23 PM
20

Lol after dragging a situationship for 21 month, who was about to get divorced 21 month ago, I was wondering how to keep him interested in me🤡 I started searching dating advice, and landed here, I ended my love on 21 day with my ‘wanna be PUA fuckboy’, well it took that long cause he had my dream body and I was wondering can I keep him as casual, but felt that I do want to nurture a long term relationship, pour my heart out to someone and include someone in my life and wanna feel belonged to- th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 02:14 PM
14

I am just hiding my son from this misogynistic people I feel. Even when I chose baby sitter I chose strong independent women so that he never ever get a chance to think women are anyway weaker or lesser. Fortunately he is choosing girls who seems of conviction as well. I do not push him for all male centric extra curricular as well unless he wants it, I opt for mixed group activities. I found male company is all about creating hierarchy and dominance ( this is not savanna), where female company …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 05:58 PM
9

You just posted pure gold!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 09:30 AM
54

What if she rejected him or did something to him he did not like and now spreading her photos in the internet as a revenge?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 11:17 PM
14

That’s horrible! Yeah these sea men don’t even let dolphins go unfucked how come a woman can escape them !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 03:05 PM
22

Lol exclusive-dating-situationship- 🥕 -🥕 -🥕 translates to I am commitment phobic and would go to extreme length to toy with your mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 10:42 AM
56

A navy told me -Guys go to marine engineering/navy to become fuckboys. They wanna fuck in every continent. He just went through a script he repeated a lot of time. His ED is the proof.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 09:52 AM
129

Looks like the bigger/fair weather tumour took itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 11:10 AM
36

Yeah and only solution of tackling the sad thing is to assault an woman- specially the one who housed them after their home got on fire and left her bedroom to his parents…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 08:05 AM
12

Given her conditioning, I fear they live in a quite close knitted church bound community, she speaking up may result in total isolation and exclusion from the community, I hope her own parents are not pushing her to stay if she wants to separate, she should carefully take into account how the previous partner/SD’s mom is treated by her community, and strategize her steps. The guy must have charismatic outside persona, while being a bum at home, she is still holding onto his outside social repres…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 06:47 PM
3

Yup happened to me after I rejected the very first guy,he was having sex with another girl and called me so I can hear there shrieking fun, I felt so humiliated on behalf of the girl he was having sex with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 12:24 PM
19

True I asked my bestie when her husband cheated on her that why does not she leave and she was like ‘I am too tired to even leave, at least I know how low he can get, but if I get a new one I have to come across all these shock all over again, don’t think next one will be any different’.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 07:23 PM
12

If the unmet need is ‘perversion’ then it better stay unmet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 07:12 PM
31

Yeah one guy I heard about used to bring his used and filled condom to his friend to show off to his bros.. they are gross creature by default.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 07:09 PM
41

Can’t agree more, also the fact that he picked up the nurse being pretty, I mean yeah, when do you get appreciated for your compassion and personality in real life? You get exploited for your compassion, and people will beat you down if you have any personality, Thou must be a pretty doormat so people can walk all over you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 11:23 AM
4

They think their dicks are the gold though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 01:22 PM
14

I remember a painter guy, who lives with mommy and sister, has custody of his child, was telling me he plans to get vasectomy so that no woman can trap him, I was like trap you for what, take care of your kid, mom, and pay your bills?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 01:14 PM
6

Gosh we need to open up a dateshit story platform, yours would belong there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 01:12 PM
4

Looking back, I felt I only wanted to pay with guys I felt deeply anxious with, I did not want to owe them something.. I had this fear that he will come back two years later and sue me for the food he paid for. I was broke at that time to so may be was self conscious too. But now that I am in a much better position financially and can vet better, I would like to throw that challenge to a guy to see how he reacts, if he has a bargaining/transactional attitude he is not the one for me, I cannot ke…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 11:04 AM
73

Yup it would not take long for her to see through him.. specifically being a lawyer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 12:28 PM
189

Yeah I think the lawyer lady is just using him to get rid of her stress hormones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 10:25 AM
8

True I had the same parents described here, I am extra careful and revolt right away with any dilly dally commitment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 10:52 PM
5

You don’t apply you remove them from your sample population..lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 03:01 PM
2

I found Nepalese men to be family oriented cause they are matriarchal society, women earns and men stay home and take care of the kids, they are much more disciplined.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 03:00 PM
5

No, their very first porn includes a white girl, and they categorize white girls as some sex maniac, born to be used and tossed materials. In South Asia there is too much social surveillance on a girl so guys need to be very careful if they do not want to marry the girl. In western culture unfortunately girls are more vulnerable due to lack of accountability around sex and guys board the plane with the dream to fuck every white girls they see. They share these girls’ nudes among the guys they do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 12:13 PM
165

Don’t get me started…after coming to first world country I started to see the entitlement.. even at jobs I am scared to get south Asian colleagues cause they are just so entitled to free labor from women, they do not even think of us as Homo sapiens, they think us as service sapiens who were born and raised to serve their whims and ego. They look at us just as you look at your vacuum cleaner or microwave oven.. just a tool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 08:12 PM
14

I remember doing an internship at a flight catering service for 3months, and my hubby went out of his way to make sure I do not cook at home during those 3 month, I loved cooking but he ordered food from catering, family members, took me out regularly to make sure home does not feel like work to me. Home should be a refuge not a chore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 07:55 PM
9

Thanks for confirming the mindset is universal. not all men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 07:50 PM
15

I did not even let my baby sitters clean my home even though they mentioned several times they are nannies and can help me around the house( they also hated seeing a full sink, plus it would cost me the same), I just told them your job now is to engage with my kid, dishes can wait, and I loved to cook and always made sure to cook something nice for them so they would have something cool to munch on during the day and for dinner. And this guy and his standard!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 07:20 PM
33

I am wishing the universe to take away any procreation capacity bestowed on this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 07:11 PM
17

Yup he is jerking off at the comments in his DM and yup to this post as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 03:13 PM
8

Everything you described in paragraph 3 has happened to me, and I have seen worse, like drug addicts carefully choosing high earning partners so that they can continue their drug abuse by live bombing their wives. Or apparent HVM taking away financial freedom and identity slowly as part of merging. And you are right I could only bounce back cause I was in my early 30, and I started to think cohabitation is highly overrated, I would rather be a happy cat lady, cause how much financial wreck a cat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 05:04 PM
43

Particularly for me, I do not like to play games, I appreciate when a man/any person thrives for commitment and are more willing to be vulnerable and take the risk of rejection- that screams ‘matured enough to handle relationships’ to me, life is way harder than ‘who says first’ ego. Dilly dally, wishy washy, flakey attitude dries me up like Sahara. Few of my friends (male), they waited years after years until they found commitment oriented person, I myself only dated two guys who told me before…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 09:11 PM
1

Yes, this I will do from now on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 04:29 PM
2

He kept pushing though, patriarchal conditioning allows him the delusion that any girl he lay eyes on would sit on his lap, plus he is pretty and in IT, how can’t he? I said a few times it may seem workable in his head, but I have my own separate ideology when making meaningful relationships , and told him I have an appointment that I have to follow through and cut the conversation short . I have HVM friends and neighbours who I met after being solo, I found if they want to extend friendship the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 01:46 PM
5

How dare you gold diggah!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 10:32 AM
58

Oh right that should be no.1
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 02:43 PM
31

Yeah had a little victory over the past week, a senior technologist over extended himself to fix an issue with my work laptop, I hesitated but said yes because if my work laptop suddenly gives up I cannot work. After fixing laptop he asked a few personal questions and when he got to know I am solo he started hinting to spend more time together as ‘friends’. I felt just so happy that the first thing came to my mind is ‘oh my patriarchal entitlement, if you are not serving my bros then thou must s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 01:37 PM
134

I wonder if they would stop at 3 in 1.. a real girlfriend should be mom+nanny+housemaid+personal secretary+butler+supermodel+escapegoat+nurse+therapist+personal chef with unlimited catering ability+also mute
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 01:28 PM
23

usually siblings gives messed up advice on dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 05:09 PM
3

True I don’t understand even basic cell division happens under optimal conditions, why do people need to bring whole human while ignoring red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 03:51 PM
4

Hugs for going through all these pain and making it, really appreciate your taking us to the corners of your mind where realization happened, take care and lots of love 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 02:45 PM
30

Yeah, baking birthday cake is my biggest pride, I immediately start planning for next birthday cake the moment I finish eating the birthday cake, anything homemade is special to me, I am an avid foodie and all my sweetest memories are around food we shared with giggles and laughter, it’s not a prestige issue to me- food needs to be humble and simple so we can focus on our company. But now that I think of it , my dad takes birthdays seriously, we have been through lots of ups and down and in the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 01:13 AM
74

After joining to FDS I have made it strict on social media that I won’t be checking anything after 8pm, I do make exceptions for my family and super close friends, cause emergency may come up. when thinking about my clown days ‘oh I fell asleep’ only came from guys who chatted impulsively and had no respect for my time, like they feel entitled to my time, huh? at those days I felt how hard it is like to type ‘good night’ then fall asleep? But now I do not have energy to cater for those who do no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 09:25 AM
269

The stark difference in skin elasticity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 03:59 PM
9

That’s great! I cannot cut my parent off, since they have ruined every aspect of their other relationships with their beautiful personality disorder they will now do anything to make me take care of retirement phase, be careful of that too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 10:14 AM
32

Please get the book ‘Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents’ by Lindsay H Gibson. Sending you a big hug from another narc parent survivor! It only gets better with boundaries, not sure if you can install physical boundaries but try to install boundaries for them in your mind, emotion, and most importantly your information. Do not give them power to ruin the part of your life they cannot control, all they need is control over your energy and time. I found I used to let their previous acti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 10:05 AM
60

First gut feeling is always right. Me and my bestie we were discussing this about our husbands 9 yr after our marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 10:13 PM
91

Wow! Yes I heard a 6yr old boy saying on a 11am weekend class in a snowy winter morning that he is doing classes from 6am. I saw the stark difference in dad’s and mom’s time out while having ice cream with my kid, a dad comes in with two little kids, they were biking, he just buys and throws the ice cream to the kids and next half and hour spends talking loudly in the phone mentioning several times that he took the kids out for biking and ice cream. He did not even bothered to tell or take off t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 12:51 PM
115

I think that’s what FDS trying to preach- remove bad genes from procreation pool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 12:40 PM
40

No way, divas! You just broke my rose tinted glasses, gimme back my naïve self 🥺
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 12:35 PM
113

In my area I saw SAHD loved being that cause they just throw the kids to some activities where they can passively involve while they smoke joints with their buddies or chat on phones. While the mom is breaking backs working and taking care of the house management. The thing listed there as SAHD is what I expect my nannies to do - take kids to pool, zoo, cook dinner and clean home- you are not being a dad you are being a nanny. Home management is different than nanny jobs- being a stay at home yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 12:04 PM
49

Lol we all had to learn the hard way, in my previous country I was ugly and invisible, but I loved it tbh cause when ugly you can see the true face of people- specially people who think you need to be pretty as a rent/tax to live as a woman. My friends and dates were solid and honest. But after changing country I fell into a bit pretty category, so was wowed when guys started approaching me here and there, I was like talking to my bestie and telling her ‘wow he said this and that’, and she (who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 06:54 PM
1

I am not sold on the idea though, tuition can be managed through a lot of other ways rather than selling your bodies, you can start from small college degree, get a job, save up and get into university, if needed. University degree is not mandatory to begin with. A simple college degree is enough to get you started. I am personally fan of specialized college degrees- they sometimes provide more niche knowledge than some graduate programs, some have connection with niche industries and saw people…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 05:07 PM
40

I had a relative who did the exact same thing the guy did, his mental stability was going on downhill, he planned and initiated a surprise dinner for one of our friend and his new bride, and throughout the dinner did exact same things that guy did, it was the most suffocating dinner of my life. My relative passed away after a few months of that incident. I cannot help but get concerned of your friend here though, hope she takes your block and delete as an omen and gets out of it with less damage…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 11:03 AM
8

I have a cringey story here, met a guy when I was looking for other solo parents to date, he was in the divorce process-during our 3hr ‘coffee’ date all he did was bad mouthing his wife, and already he and his mom were day dreaming of the next Muslim bride, there were absolutely zero reflection on his behaviour. He just wanted to get married as soon as he can right after the divorce so that he can show his ex wife that she meant nothing. Unfortunately these are well established cultural norms fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 10:46 AM
96

He has personality disorder, even though LVM, nvm it does not take much to pull on a decent act for as little duration as a meal, hopefully your friend will learn soon, great that you drew a solid boundary there that shows you respect yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 10:33 AM
3

Oh wow! Thanks for pointing that out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 06:59 PM
18

I just felt so sad, we raise our girls to be a prey and boys to be predators- how come we reached here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 04:43 PM
8

Hmm he could not be a HV based on how the women were treated in his workplace, but again to introduce change in an institution would take much constraints and battle with investors. But when it came to personal commitment I loved how he handled it, the thing that you are looking for connections somewhere else is indicative that you do not expect it from your spouse anymore, and it was enough for him to take accountability of his action and expose this to his wife first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 12:28 PM
28

Yeah it’s more like monkey branching, I knew of a guy who was separated from his wife for 15(!) years - don’t know how many girls he got with that ‘separation’ clause, he got his divorce finalized after meeting me- but I kind of lost my respect for him with the idea of only finalizing divorce when you get another person to hop on right away. A good example I saw ( but in a series, Good Girls Revolt), that the HVM hubby gets attracted to another girl, also the lifestyle he was leading was frustra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 11:45 AM
26

Yeah to them your conjugal information is a universal public right .. I am a solo mom and whenever I have to give out that info I can see the thought bubble above some people’s head, all the conversation then gears to enquiring only one thing -my sex life. my friends are not like this but yeah acquaintances are.. one of my senior was like ‘tell me tell me all so that I can gossip it to my hubby’, I ditched and blocked her on spot, another was like kid’s friend’s mom- imagine walking into a birth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 06:25 PM
36

Hugs and hang in their, I was about to be homeless with my little kid two times, but I was with a social agency geared for women, they did not help me monetarily but provided me direction and free therapy to pass through my darkest time-isolating destructive thoughts and constructive thoughts. I was new in a country, they provided me with information about student grants and I get set to study, and it has provided me a respectful job within a year, and now after three years I have a home and a c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 12:02 PM
18

Yeah it also takes away the years they could be building themselves through the day to day discipline of researching resources, hard work, building and retaining solid networks and social capital, personal finance decisions, career and education- which makes a person float through the life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 11:54 AM
37

It’s true, they will drop you right away for male attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 10:28 AM
49

Yup now that I am thinking, I have always got handful of trusted friends, and they do not know each other, it saved me from lots of bullets when I compare to my brother’s( which eventually did the last trick of pushing him down the cliff when he was in a depressive streak) and my other friend’s circle. Most of these friend circles are full with pickme-LVM drama I never had energy for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 10:27 AM
2

FDS saved me in 2021, I was in a situation ship for 21 month, he was married and from day 1 I was saying I do not want to get involved in someone else’s marriage, the divorce was always in the process, and I came to FDS while searching for ‘how can I make him more interested in me(!)’, I ditched him on 21th day mark after joining FDS, well I knew right away but the sex and his body was exactly my type- so took that long to decide whether I am capable enough for casual relationship, which I am no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 05:14 PM
6

Yeah the guy should take the dainty table and leave with his anal desire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 10:38 PM
5

Undervalued comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 10:35 PM
4

I asked a guy once if he is so into anal why he can’t date a guy, he told girls’ bodies are more soft.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 10:34 PM
7

Why this dude is dating women? He should date that bro who got awarded in comment-he has everything( the two holes) her bf needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 10:32 PM
6

Love FDS for these comments!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 10:30 PM
8

Hugs and I am so sorry!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 09:50 PM
8

Sadly true, now that I hear the lyrics- most song are there to justify and validate LVM, NVM behaviour, and they do not refer to majority of the relationships- which is living everyday life- but snapshots of what is seen in public while dating. So a big group of air heads are raised with the idea that you just have to find the right person to do anal and blowjob and all the career, finance, kids, family, housekeeping will fall into place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 09:49 PM
6

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 09:45 PM
13

So suffocating, even after being that gorgeous, and having such great friends, if you do not learn to watch your back you might be cornered as a gaslit puppet. The integrity she brings in the relationship is way beyond what that guy’s little head can comprehend. The way he looks at her seems like he is constantly gauzing her net worth to string her along. He lives like a spoiled toddler while to her nurturing his every little whim is what she lives for, he did not seem at ease until the adultery…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 01:37 PM
54

True I even found that men start looking for next one even when going through their own divorce so that they don’t have to do chores for a single day! Solo women it is a risky business- there is a whole group out their waiting for solo moms because they know we won’t hurry for commitment, do not have the time or energy to invest in a relationship so they just lurk around for disposable relationships. As a solo mom I found it is nerve wrecking to go through each episode of these ‘lather, rinse, r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 03:17 PM
5

I am mid thirty but guys are over forty, and it’s not like they want to change the course of their lives, they just want to collect side chicks to show off as Pokémon card to their other bros in midlife crisis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 10:26 AM
8

After reading Kim Jyong, Born in 1982 it came to my realization how much female effort is necessary to create one male economic contributor in the society while when women join the work force she is supposed to take care of herself, her family, and all the unsung task at office and also do her job. She gets zero to negative support to be contributing to the workforce but the integrity and dedication she brings is much higher than the male coworkers who is getting so much support at home just to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:00 PM
8

Gosh my neighbor told me about this.. they do not have any personality to project at home, at work they have shaped a personality- the competent and professional whatever that is, but at home the communication skill did not go beyond kindergarten level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 02:55 PM
9

Would love to hear the legend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 02:47 PM
10

Yup to them they are Homo sapiens, and women are service sapiens
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 02:25 PM
14

Good lord yeah these married men! It’s not only me then, I was on a self loathing spectrum thinking maybe I have ‘side chick- come and get me’ signage posted on my forehead that only married men can see.. but good to know they just do it with everyone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 02:15 PM
28

All my pretty female friends fell victim of these bro point beggars, they get aroused seeing their bros get aroused at their gf and wives, but when they find heartbeats in their wives -it’s like how dare you! My bestie- she had boys following her like bees everywhere- she told me she could not have a decent (not even meaningful) conversation with her hubby for 8 yrs, they just put on the decent mask long enough to bait the girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 01:55 PM
23

Lol yeah.. I found several of my acquaintances who are hoarding on high earning women so that they can get away having the ‘trailer boy’ -‘smoking joints with the buddies’ lifestyle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 01:12 PM
41

This is so alarmingly common, yes my dad and uncles had worshiping characters outside, but at home we were on constant fire, I just could not connect the dots and grew up thinking I must be doing something terrible all the times which caused all the bad behaviour from them. Then one day I was oo-ing on how a male co worker is kind and gentle to everyone, then another of my female co worker told me her hubby is just like that outside but at home he is extremely judgemental of her and her kids. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 12:20 PM
40

Yup any sign of strength triggers them in the meanest way, as if it threatens their masculinity, they will do anything to break you- even if you had no interaction with them- you just can’t exist, if you exist it has to be on their terms- it can never be on your own terms. Funny that I remember an incident that when our prime minister got elected, she was a women and there were news about her every whereabouts on the media for a few days, and it said she is in her hubby’s home right not, she is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 09:26 PM
3

Yeah +1
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 09:20 PM
113

Sigh, they would rape a person to show them their place, it is happening so much with the kids too- they are raping the kids, little boys included to teach the kid’s parents a lesson, and the thing about this rape, pedo, damsel in distress is -men get aroused at vulnerability- when you see a vulnerable person you help them, not fuck the hell out of them till they die- the moral incapability is wide spread- even within people who do not partake in the act they just assume the victims just ask for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 07:56 PM
283

Yup right, Nirbhaya was raped with an iron rod after six men were done with her, I hope the person making the statement would have enjoyed that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 04:12 PM
3

Lol yeah in reality what happens is that two of my friends, who are architects, they work for like 28 hrs in a 24 hrs day, barely have time to look outside their window, the minimum time they get they rush to do grocery, meal prep, and clothes for next week. I wonder now how the hell did they get so much time? When Miranda had a baby she reduced her work hour to or from 60 hours a week, that is like 12 hr work day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 10:55 AM
4

Oh girl tell me about it, they will call you, and if you ask any follow up questions to schedule a time they get a instant ego boost and outright start to tell you that you were begging for a date!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 10:21 AM
11

I would like to give an example, my dad, even though he is a LVM, he loved my mom. When my mom passed away he exploited every connection my mom made by asking money from them, when my hubby passed away, and I moved out of the country, I never asked any favours from my in laws, but my dad started going to my in laws asking for money and all sort of favours- anything he can milk out of the connection I made for almost a decade, he needs to get the interest of my marriage, I am extremely careful of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 05:13 PM
10

Your post echoed with every ounce of my heart, it was three decades long journey for me and you have compiled all the learning in such a short but beautiful post! The doll projection started in my own home, my parents wanted a doll, I could not fit into that, they were so frustrated with me, while to me I did everything my best and beyond to earn their validation. The day I understood their demands erupt from their own insecurities is the day I realized it’s a lost cause to work on to make them …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 09:14 AM
38

After becoming thirty year old, I went on a ‘tra la la’ mode, all of your identity here applies to me as well.. WOC, new immigrant, single in a male dominated field, but I personally do not have time to ponder about it, I can politely draw my boundaries, I am chatty at work but learnt to chat without giving out personal information. I can successfully carry on a consistent persona without showing any sign of discomfort. I do not take away their masculinity though by showing them their place.. th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 03:55 PM
36

Yup! I guess I traded sex for cuddles
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 08:39 PM
13

I do not know your culture, I came from a doctor’s family and it was utterly frustrating that in my culture doctors are never going to be satisfied unless you gave birth to two kids before you turn 30, that is the most ethical thing to do with all your baby making organs to them, no matter how progressive or modern they are- all they want for people is to make babies- otherwise half of their job will be gone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 09:52 AM
39

This is so true.. I got surprised when first time I turned a man down and he was like, ‘oh you want to be chased?’ And I fell from the sky.. and said no.. it’s not a game to me, I would like to give a honest try with the person I feel secured.. once a no.. always a no. I remember one of my friends gave in after a guy chased her for 5 yrs, and after 8yrs of being married it turns out her first gut feeling about that man was right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 12:59 PM
10

Gut feeling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 12:37 PM
6

Lol I remember seeing a FDS post where a guy after getting a compliment on his beard started to resent his wife thinking he could have done so much better..! I mean ..man.. you will still be the piece of **** no matter what you grow and who you bag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 10:56 AM
7

Wow .. you are tough! Gosh going through all these in such a levelled head, can’t imagine! Some people lack the self awareness that cohabitation is not for them, loss of personal space is a big thing- I feel many of abuse and neglect stem from there. The sooner we understand we would come to peace with that, some bloom with certainty some see certainty as a threat. It would have saved a lot of years of you if he was just true to himself, but yeah , please know that I am so damn proud of you for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 12:56 AM
8

I am more scared reading the advice, the guy was being honest self, but that Jack brought a whole level of manipulation in the drama- so suffocating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 06:05 PM
7

my dad did not have to die… dad visits me for few months every year from my previous country, the moment he leaves me, guys starts lining up to arrange lunch, dinner and coffee, I do not initiate any of those including conversation, they check up on me time to time to gauze when I would be at a more vulnerable position, they extract the information of my father’s departure and they can oooh me out of my ‘misery’ with sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 11:45 AM
7

All of my pretty friends were beaten and were cheated by their hubby, they never treat their women right even though they are 🏆, they just want them in their arms to collect bro points. Such a superficial existence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 02:14 PM
20

Yes weird relationship dynamics, wasted almost a decade on this kind of friend, so much mental turmoils, plus you listening will also help her sustain the abusive relationship, if it’s abusive she must leave first and then think, not think first then leave, if she is asking advice it means she wants to stay and venting to aid that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 02:08 PM
7

Gosh, this reminded me of a time when I was out with one of my acquaintances and his trophy wife, the restaurant waiters were eating her up with their eyes, and her hubby was relishing their stare all over his wife’s body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 12:01 PM
7

: / really? Where are these women? I am solo parent and south Asian and My fellow Asian women keep their hubbies away from me, go as far as sending me all the suicide stories of solo mom’s child , a women without a man is an incomplete creature to them and most probably a creature who is on the hunt to snatch their hubby to get complete- no amount of education and pay grade could save them.. I got frustrated and keep myself away from them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:35 AM
140

I would not get into this mess, best case scenario she needs you to be the rock while she is drowning, you will be her free therapist and all her problems will arise in the most inconvenient time of your life( like when my brother died, my friend’s hubby cheated, she was in no way to condole me but expected me to sit there and listen to their mess), I would not get into other people’s marriage drama, specifically when you and your opinions were shut down most/all of the times. It will be an one …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 09:03 AM
48

Lol he blames Canada also cause after emigrating here it opened her eyes, he was like she was so obedient back in India…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 02:25 PM
65

This is really true, I never had any of my hvm friends, colleagues, relatives make me wonder or suffer, they always bring a sense of assurance and comfort, they facilitate and aid as if their existence is depending on it, they are scared to leave you in misery cause it equally hurts them. We are being our most vulnerable and intimate with our partner, their integrity and credibility should surpass all of the other relations, otherwise it’s not worth my exposure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 01:46 PM
104

I have met a LVM who had a beautiful and successful wife, who gave him two beautiful talented daughters, she works internationally, and alleviated his fragile ego in the society in most positive way. She also pulls all the weight of housekeeping, both extended families and kids’ education and extracurriculars at home. He loves the idea of having these flashy wife and daughters to show off in the society but resents her, does not move a finger around the house, never initiate anything saying he n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 01:37 PM
14

Wow gold advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 12:00 PM
43

True, I have seen people who take the alternative route .. they have to compensate and make so much effort to even earn slightest credibility.. where it becomes so easy if I just follow some simple route to be acceptable format, it’s sad that it takes away a little bit of who I want to be( I just do not want to care about how I look) but it makes easier with what I want to do, I want people to listen and respect me. Plus I can personalize my outfit in my ways keeping it tidy too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 11:57 AM
83

After changing continents I came to this realization that I must set the tone on how to treat me from the start.. otherwise the power will go on their hand( whoever they are), all these prim and proper attire are tried and true format to make people comply, people make 80% decision the moment they saw you not the moment you open your mouth( even in job interviews), there is nothing to get frustrated about it, it’s just how human psychology works, so would you leave with 80% or take chance with 2…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 11:54 AM
51

I had my whole undergraduate classmates like that, they treated girls like that, and my female pick me classmates supported that, I just could not relate or communicate, they would just dump on their misogynistic patriarchal bullshit even though all that I required was basic human decency and professionalism during the 4-5 brief encounters that I had to had with them. I felt sad about the female and male role models in their life. But also became mindful of the people I introduce to my kid, I ve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 10:07 AM
37

First of all they will only chose girls who alleviate their social positions among bros, second if he wants you to aid his/your empire while keeping you financially vulnerable, making you lose your social, educational and career capital that you have invested so far then he is taking away your independence and making you dependent on his identity- that is a prison for abuse, a person who loves would want to aid to your own growth too, not make you sit around being pretty addition to his collecti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 11:49 AM
18

Oh I thought it only happens with our culture, good to have more Bros on board
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 11:36 AM
23

South Asians guys?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 11:30 AM
44

If he has ambitions, by building them up you are taking away their masculinity, he needs the affirmation of being a man in the family, or the provider, or in no way he wants to lose his sense of control, be in a position where he can’t raise voice- that is why he will ditch Barbara the builder the moment he can find some stable ground to practice his innate instinct of control aka young naive beauties. Barbara threatens their masculinity. If he does not have ambition- he is just a lazy guy leech…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 11:27 AM
20

Lol they just can’t bear the sight of an independent lady..’man, she looks too happy, why she is not dragging one of our sorry ass! Let’s bring her down!’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 09:00 AM
9

Loved the podcast, I am on that spectrum where I may choose a casual sex cause I am a solo parent and do not have the full capacity to invest into a relationship. But let me warn ya, a big group of married predators are waiting for us, they are always there.. to the point that I can just call six of them right now and help them cheat their wives, this is so exhausting, and they are so overwhelming that I started to doubt if the new normal it is to cheat. My friends and family were pretty committ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 07:56 AM
239

I know a few cat ladies, who decided to be single, guys are flocking behind them like 🐝
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 07:05 PM
28

!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 05:35 PM
5

Can’t imagine representing a household as a bride who treats me this way! It’s like negging genes passed down through generations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 11:26 AM
27

Lol..love your ‘I do not get paid enough to educate lost causes’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 11:09 AM
56

Yup once a cheat always a cheat. It’s a mindset defined at a chromosomal level. They just love the thrill of forbidden no matter what you offer them, in my previous country guys often cheat with the house maids- who often has no education and extremely vulnerable position in the society, they can never voice their demand even if they have any. No reason to partake in this perversion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 10:55 AM
21

Please do not feel bad, apart from his drug problem he and his family loved me and still loves me dearly, they supported me every way. I have sorted paperwork for immigration and now in my new country, got a job, bought a home and a car, kiddo is happy. But I still could not have the closure and also the life that I envisioned for us.. things getting snatched away like this, all because of a bad habit. One of his friend got a stroke recently, he is 40, he had drug problem too. I just don’t know …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 03:04 PM
70

Girl ..this triggered.. I tried to save my hubby from his drug related problems.. once he told me to save him from him.. he was so intertwined with the drug people there , even if he refrained..they know how much he can spend on drugs and started to ask/threat those money from him ..his family thought it was my problem and my job that I cannot keep him straight..I researched countries where we can take scholarships and move that did not work.. then I researched immigration and applied and when t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 10:58 AM
40

Also the predators wait for you to become vulnerable, I had a baby sitter(now friend), she is awesome and super independent diva, she met a nvm narc when her mom passed away, she was vulnerable and needed comfort and the narc was waiting for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 11:33 PM
5

Yes! In our culture we stay with parents in law’s family till we get our own kids, when my mom in law passed away, every one kind of expected me to start doing all the work she was doing right away, including the complains about what pieces of chicken she used to serve them for lunch and why can’t I do that, my mom in law was very dear to me, she spoiled me to the brim and I was devastated at that time of her passing away, no one even bothered to ask how I am doing, I had my final year thesis su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 03:55 PM
99

They think women are servicesapiens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 01:48 PM
74

I am from a third world country and when I moved to a first world country I felt guys here put such less effort, and what was weird they feel entitled to make the tiniest amount of effort and expects a transactional outcome. I was super surprised when they bashed me for wanting to use condoms, in our country it is given that guys will make sure we stay safe and secured, they will always bring their own condoms, but here I was pressured by a RN to go without condoms, I had this idea that people i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 01:45 PM
6

Or maybe fortunately.. if I compromise I can have 2-3 LVs right here wanting to live there life with me but tbh it’s not worth it just for the sake of companionship.. it will ruin everything you have invested so far in your life- career, education, friends, family and finance, they will be just leeching you, it is better to be alone than hosting a sea lamprey , not everyone has the power to launch several jump in their lifetime to get rid of them, most salmon dies that way to ensure a safe nurtu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 11:05 PM
7

True, I remember one of my friend only used disposable plate, glass and cutleries to reduce housework in a stressful time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 04:47 AM
7

A med resident is tabbing his pregnant wife’s time around the house! I remember while I was pregnant, I had a helping hand who used to come with her grand child to do my daily chores. The little kid used to play and his grandma used to work, if left alone the kid used make all kind of noise and mess, my hubby started to go to his office late so that he can keep the kid occupied, my nanny can finish work uninterrupted and I do not wake up from the noise- I used to sleep late cause I was always ti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 04:18 AM
1

Yup living that kid’s life right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 08:06 PM
1

Yes they do not have a personality to project at home, the preserve all their composure for their dude bros.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 08:06 PM
1

She knows she knows already!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 08:05 PM
2

My grandfather impregnated 9 women, he married another women every time my grandma went to visit her parents, and he did not take care of any of the kids from those 9 women, my grand ma did as her lesson learnt from visiting her parents’.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 08:04 PM
3

Yeah came from that household, in my mid thirties and still wondering why did they have kids in the first place, if it of any solace please read ‘Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents’ by Lindsay C. Gibson, available in the library
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 01:48 PM
59

It is really tough to be in a situation where you do not know whether you should grief or think of your presevation, grievance feels like a luxury then. I hope you understand you were true to your integrity, your intention and attitude was pure. Whatever you did on those years-you loved, you let it go gracefully and you began again. I pray that you have enough resilience to move on and prioritize yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 05:10 AM
125

Hugs! I just don’t know what to say!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 04:43 AM
15

Wow you are an inspiration!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 04:17 AM
21

It’s such a beautiful concept, community surveillance, yeah the busy bodies will keep everyone straight, I think post modern urban planning concept is derived from this idea, Jane Jacobs first introduced it as a form of balance between cities and villages. Although in some communities in big cities-like my own culture’s immigrant community try to pull everyone down, they are not satisfied until couples are divorced, mom work as nanny, baby sitter and dad works as Uber driver or pizza delivery gu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 03:26 AM
5

One of my friend was telling me how much society grooms us for exploitation, I know several male colleagues who were drug addicted, their family found sweet naive religious girls for them, the girls had no idea what they are getting into, after marriage family expect the bride to fix the addiction and any subsequent relapses are blamed on the bride not the guy anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 03:25 AM
5

Yes you always get maximum half the amount they promised. When I started dating again it was like, if they say relationship, in action it is FWB, if they say FWB it is a hook up, so if the say marriage you might be a gf. While women always deliver triple quadruple amount they promise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 11:44 PM
60

Yes and none of her response showed any disrespect or aggressiveness, she did not even try to bring her down to his level by showing him his place( well he was clowning that favour to himself anyways) rather stood her ground so gracefully, I am amazed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 08:06 PM
11

Maybe a bit off track but what do you girls wear on first few date nights? I always wonder what would be a reasonable but yet acceptable wear on the first night together?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 07:18 PM
23

Amen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 07:15 PM
62

True..I was looking at Rihanna and Chris Brown situation and thinking the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 11:54 AM
101

Lol I fell in the trap three times, since as a solo parent I was inclined to date other solo parents, first time got carried away- after 21 month no divorce, second time could vet out when the divorce started like in 2005, and was miraculously finalized in 2020 just after we met, third time the guy and his mom were already out looking for next good Muslim wife while going through divorce.. I left as no comment was necessary. Men will not leave you until they are sure they have milked every ounce…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 02:35 PM
5

Yup we are narrowing down their victim pools here…such a sinful wrong-doing.. how can we do that?!?!!?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 09:53 AM
93

There’s a particular Reddit sub for that kink as well- I found it when another Redditor was referring to a softer guy in another dating sub as tips for dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 01:04 AM
85

WTF did I just read?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:33 AM
80

The social conditioning of having a home with loving husband and kids. Society grooms the young girls from very beginning to be naive for exploitation. ( Disney-trust strangers, they will be rescuer, fall in love madly, then live happily ever after…) I have a cousin she went through hell with a drug abuser husband, he was never there for her or the kids, if he was there he beat her or was too sick to beat her and she was taking care of him, she raised two kids and had 5 abortion for this man( he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 10:56 PM
88

True! cohabitation is heavily overrated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 04:35 PM
4

Hahahaha! What a delusional life! Let’s bundle them up and put them in packs of 7 in the jungle where they can hope some Snow White will show up to do their chores.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 05:39 AM
19

Oh my I choked thinking of what the son is going through!! It is like living in a night mare - his mom and dad are gone case!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 04:15 PM
14

I remember once one of my friends got married ( arranged by parents ) to another successful guy in tech in USA, she flew there following her marriage, and found her hubby who was in USA for four years only had a mattress and a suitcase on floor, that was his worldly possessions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 08:18 PM
30

‘I want someone to use and abuse, and easily disposable.’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 12:01 PM
144

Lol he is a guy- who just wrote a book about dating- might as well be in denial of his own fantasy of girls cat fighting over his golden penis- what more can we expect?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 11:22 AM
101

My dad has lived his whole life like this- he has a gown of being a doctor, dress nicely, behave nicely, always talks about morales and ethics-never ever that mask slips, but the actions are highly exploitative and predatory, he understood the code that if he had that three things he can live his life fooling around everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 11:19 AM
23

Asking to the ladies since nothing natural has happened to me ever, what could be a natural progression of dates? How respectable subsequent dates look like?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 11:37 AM
31

That bigger car is a STI bank.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 11:34 AM
27

It is sad that they cannot even ‘act’ decent for the duration of a meal, date- how can they be decent for an extended time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 11:26 AM
25

I teared a bit with your light bulb revelation, recently I found an upper tier manager showing clueless response to me and when my manager, a white dude bro reached out to him from another avenue-he just transformed to be the responsible one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 06:40 PM
20

Lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 09:10 PM
6

Gosh I got scared where I left a guy in the middle of our first date two years ago, he sent me follow request in IG, my IG is private, I only share photos of my kid there with close friends and family, and under a different name, I was surprised how he found me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 12:39 PM
10

I was a heavy advocate of dressing sloppily cause I was/am on cynic spectrum-but only after I started to work with high end customer service front it occurred to me how I treat myself sets the tone of how others will behave around me. Strategically my job is to make the person comply to me, and I found the less effort I put in my appearance, the harder I have to try to convince them to comply and treat me nicely. It was also repeatedly brought to our attention that even in interviews the moment …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 10:04 AM
10

True, though I loved being married to my hubby, after being widowed I came on terms to focus on myself. Cohabitation, merging finances, and sharing social capitals open up a lots of risk and I have seen it in first hand. So would keep myself away from that- though that has another huge risk of being the side chick, even when you offer food and boarding- men cheat on you- most men do not even know how to live by themselves, some are willing to commit just for housekeeping. So I know I have narrow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 02:36 PM
24

We rescued our niece (adopted) from a brothel when she was getting sold there at 5yrs of age, reality did not consider her age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 12:40 PM
16

Yes I remember once a guy who claimed to love me, after having sex I kind of snoozed off for maybe 1minute and he just brought his phone and started to take photos of me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 12:34 PM
9

I hear you, my parents showed such disgust in me for my appearance that I actually grew up thinking I might have some shameful disabilities, it took me decades to realize that the inadequacy was in them not in me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 02:12 PM
14

This. I was talking about it in a different post. Most of my friends who are pretty have fallen into victim of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 11:49 AM
33

OMG that is just so gross! How can someone demean the person they enjoy spending time with? I remember once someone pointed out to my hubby in a public photo on Facebook that maybe I should lose weight and hubby instantly replied that instead of commenting the person could have used that time for self reflection. And here .. wow! I am just so sorry you had to put up with this shallowness!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 11:45 AM
14

Yup they will have the beauty they are attracted to as a side dish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 11:37 AM
19

Recently I saw that in an ice cream shop, there were two different parents, one was dad, taking out his two kids on bike rides and then they stopped at ice cream shop to have some ice cream. The whole time he was on phone ignoring the kids, he did not tell them to sit, take off their helmets, and let them fetch themselves while he was rambling on the phone. Then there was another mother, she was also having a day out with her daughter/s, and daughter’s friend. It looked like they spend the day d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 11:05 AM
12

Oh girl! You are so blunt that hurt me even being a girl! I can see it in my LVM dad too after he became widowed. So they are basically just leech who use kids as a bait- gosh, girl why you had to be so blunt!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 09:51 AM
17

True.. I just saw in a recent encounter the guy took full custody as a form of power play over the mom, so that he can have the right to say and do whatever about her, and to exclude her from all social capitals they built together. Now he keeps the kid 13 hrs in day care, 11hr for his office, 2 hrs for gym, on weekends he leave the kid to different people’s home. On social media he makes big posts about how he is nailing it being a solo parent, and my culture’s pick me neighbors are glorifying …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 09:43 AM
17

Oh no! I am fat myself but my bestie is pretty, I was thinking of the shit she put up with, being pretty she attracts a vast amount of shallow attention, and could not avoid the demeaning behaviours anyways -guys will throw a shot at her hoping she would take the bait or not, even with her hubby who was after her for 5 years she is just a projection of social validation - not a human. Where being fat I got a bit less to no attention cause unless a guy is severely damaged to play with my insecuri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 01:43 PM
11

And by being not fat can you avoid these guys? We might attract more of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 08:34 AM
64

What they say to you is reflection of themselves, not you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 08:33 AM
10

Yup the truth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 08:31 AM
25

Like why would a woman (considered attractive) enter into a serious relationship with these kind people who foster this garbage course of thoughts and actions?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 08:28 AM
20

I wish I could make this statement a mural and place it in an intersection where all the girls can see it. Even in my seemingly happy marriage with an HVM, I got struck with the reality after 8yrs. We were working on our immigration documents and decided to built individual portfolios of each to see who has the stronger possibilities. That was the first time I reflected on me after marriage- I was barely keeping a job, gained 60lb, lost few family members, also a big circle of friends due to the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 08:13 AM
168

Yes it happened to me once during hiking in an area where we heard of some rebel battalions, there was a gun shot and all the guys in our group seemed to disappear not looking for other guys as well, my hubby usually acted selfish in group tours but at that moment transformed into a super protective bear for me. Another time he had a pancreatic attack during hike, I arranged the treatment and booked a tea house room where he could rest while I finished touching the base camp and comeback to him …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 07:15 AM
13

Wow so blunt- and yes LVM will extract your labor with minimum commitment. They live for exploitation. Oh wait that’s how capitalism works!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 09:41 AM
4

Yeah because for women it’s a home and family she is investing in, and men just go for the hottest one (!)? I ask my friends who put up with this, and they are like well if I choose another man he will have his own drama, better be with familiar drama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 07:03 PM
29

I saw a man who has this dazzling diva kind of wife, she pulls all the weight at home, handles kids, and she works in a top position flying continents to continents for her job. And he happily use this time to stick his dick into as many places as he can, I asked him why marry in the first place then? He was like ‘ I did not want marry, she asked me, I am a man, why would a man want commitment?’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:29 PM
66

Yeah sometimes wonder about this cockroach kind of existence, rather than shopping around they could have built something meaningful with the person, trying to built intimacy and integrity, have some discipline to retain a relationship, trying to take responsibility but they just hop around in the hope for some delusional eye candy with no soul- who in-fact does not exist. It’s a way of excusing out for not being a responsible person enough. But yeah love FDS for making us identify these mentali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 12:59 PM
80

Yup rich family means a stand by line of credit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 10:44 AM
46

I tried to notice when my lv cousins went after the prettiest hottest girl on the block, did they treat them as good as they rate them? No, they were quick to show off their sorry selves to the girls-only a few months of basking in the glory of bagging an eye candy- I somewhere read an misogynistic excuse for this too- ‘ you share the pretty girls’, to me it translates to you do not have the ability to carry on the beauty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:59 PM
6

You made a brainstorming spinner post for me. Thank you! Saving it, would love to come back to again and again to read other’s thought as well on it. I am in a transition state for relationship agenda for me, I know I do not want to cohabit/marry again, I thought of giving up dating altogether, was using negative experiences in FDS to keep myself away from hormonal FWB situation-ship. But an FDS podcast made sense to me- that dating kind of makes you more emotionally intelligent- it is like a mu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:48 PM
111

Wow and I found it happened with all my pretty friends, men reach out to them with an idea they find the woman would fit, or some validation need from society-how quickly they become frustrated when they find their girlfriend maybe a human with unique features. It is surprising they never feel any sort of guilt of the projection they throw on their girlfriends. On the other hand my girl friends who did not win lottery tickets in current applauded beauty department had less dates but also less fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:28 PM
54

This is just considering me as a human, a basic basic thing.. still except for 2 males in my whole 37 yr of life( 1 was my hubby, 1 is my colleague) I never felt this with any man including my dad. Males see me, put me in a pre stigmatized box and start objectifying me that way. When I put more effort, try to add meaning, values and enrichment to life and experiences they just see my utilization and then treat me as a utility. Most men they would not even notice the effort if I am not pretty and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:16 PM
32

I read a book called Mom Shift, I wish every women read that book before having kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 04:29 AM
58

I do not understand why people feel threatened with high IQ, high EQ is needed to be better partner. There is so many little detail you bring to a relationship other than money and smart brain. The values, communication spectrum, attachment and home. I was lucky that my father took pride in my mom’s job, and my hubby and his whole family took pride and facilitate me in every way, i.e. I remember once I was in between a project-presentation and forgot to pack lunch, my mom in law sent our chauffe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 11:07 AM
5

My heart breaks at this kind of reality, I am speaking on behalf of the other side, the housewives; even within my aunts and cousins, growing up I saw they bring such dedication, hard work and integrity in whatever they do, but they are kept away from the economy to serve their stupid low value husband who feels so entitled to all of her hard work and in return breaks her backbone and heart in every way possible. I think of the array of values and growth she could have brought if she joined an o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 08:57 AM
49

One of my friend was pointing out this, (believe in my country’s pick me culture, her this realization is a breakthrough), that the girls are all glamorous, excellent in job and every other aspects till they get married, and after getting married they are all just mules, fucking mules, no one actually takes care of them. So staying single does mean we have all the time in the world to take care of ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 08:50 AM
31

Yeah I guess only Mark, Phoebe’s husband is passable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 08:43 AM
44

Yeah the actual relationship will be with the porn, and it might already 1.5 decade relationship, you are the side chick here..lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 08:39 AM
40

Wow.in.every.single.interaction. I encounter this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 08:35 AM
89

Also self awareness, the ‘I don’t know’ basically translates’I am still shopping around’. If you are shopping around then why waste my time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:35 AM
15

Lol my LVM boss once did this kind of nasty burdening on a client, and when I tried to discuss it, he told me ‘ if she says no we have nothing to do, but did she say no yet?’, my spine froze hearing that and my applicant swallowed whatever pill he gave to her. So yeah they throw these bullshits completely knowing that we can say no to it, but they count on the times we swallow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 07:03 PM
11

Yeah it’s about externalizing and internalizing, they never internalize their action. I remember I once dated a person who had all the listed details of OP, a little example - he did not pick up after his dog, even though he branded himself as the most active person, I was surprised when he did not pick up in a playground, and told him the kids may get sick cause they run all over and put their hands in mouth and he smirked saying ‘then their parents did not teach them enough. Too bad they have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 06:53 PM
3

So weird! Why would he even try to justify taking a life? And Gabby did know and lived with Gary for quite long time before getting killed, knowing a person cannot save you enough it seems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 04:39 PM
1

so much self analysis involved, thanks for making these surface. Can relate so much and so much yet to learn. The last paragraph reminded me of Sophists in Ancient Greek.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 04:27 PM
8

Wow such beautiful writing! Thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 04:20 PM
9

Crying is the most healthy way to address grief, pain, frustration and anger. We were punished for crying in childhood , I can’t cry, but that disappointment always finds a unhealthy and uncontrolled way to express itself. I fear that. I encourage my son to cry, to address grief and pain when it is fresh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 09:10 PM
8

What helped you in increasing your EQ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 09:07 PM
28

Let the trash take itself out, girl! You are losing nothing here. Plus preserving your dignity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:55 PM
17

Yeah two men were grossly approaching one of my co-worker when I was a cashier and I kind of stepped in to make them feel she is not alone. Later we were discussing the fact that what made them think an women would feel respected and assured enough to entertain the idea they are trying to project? Like where do that communication lead? ‘You are so gross, let’s just fall in love with you?’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:48 AM
19

Seems this little ‘shooting’ is all he’s got, he might be using the same technique right or left to boost his ego(!)- thinking ‘I make girls wait for me’, this is nearing personality disorder though. I stop catering to people at the first sign of flakiness(even on non-date scenario), no justification necessary, it is their integrity showing off, and business or personal I purge people who cannot follow through a commitment, giving them none of my headspace, saves me from drama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:42 AM
7

Commitment and sincerely is the first act they put on, you will be surprised how quickly they withdraw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 11:38 PM
35

OMG tell me about it, Hinge/any OLD platform has alarming amount of South Asian guys, they are extremely good at love bombing so it often gets everyone including me, another South Asian confused.. girls, please please please if their mommy did not choose you, you are not the one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 04:30 PM
35

So true, my friends who went to date desi men after coming to North America are most infected with STDs, the guys seem to stick their dick wherever they can after getting out of South Asia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:51 PM
22

Haha my LVM dad used him being ‘nice’ as pure exploitation of good faith of other people, he is ‘nice’, looks good, and a doctor- the minimum to earn trust and uses this to exploit everyone he comes across, people are often surprised cause his words and action hardly matches- not many have the understanding of separating nice and good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:39 PM
59

I was just talking about this to my bestie yesterday, the guys are raised to be narcissist in our culture (South Asian), and the girls are groomed naive for every type of exploitation. Think of Sita and how much she is idolized as a feminine character when in reality she is just a victim with extremely poor boundaries and no voice of her own. Compared to Princess Leia in western culture- though that brings me to the following point below- There is absolutely no social inclusion if you are not ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 02:39 PM
35

Being seen in a circle is so overrated that I often find it pushes us to opt for unhealthy boundaries. We do not expect tigers, bears and pandas to hang around with a bunch of friends, we simply accept that fact. Why cannot we do that for ourselves? The difference between each human being is like difference between species- we have to respect our needs. My bestie and sibling were pack people, but that inclusion always came with some price- drama, compromised values, keeping up with the image, ta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 12:14 PM
79

Yeah, I have an extremely strenuous job and almost no time outside it, I make sure I make my daily routine with kid as enjoyable as we can, like dinner- it would be always picnic in the park in summer, I drop off and pick up my kid at school cause that little walk with my kid refreshes me, we eat together and have lots of silly chat, we have elaborate bedtime stories- a book for every mood , my kid even look forward to homework because that is our bonding time, he has started to help me with sma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 12:27 AM
18

Interesting.. the first person I dated here in my new country was a person who actually took the job. He, keeping the marriage, left his wife with two kids and went to another country to take the job. He made enough salary to visit family on weekends but it was not enough for his wife with two young kids. And yes after few years she started to have extra marital affairs, and the guy changed his job and came back after that, but everything was gone. He was regretting not taking a job with smaller…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 11:11 PM
20

! I just feel sad for the person who needs to foster this psychology just for companionship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 01:55 PM
16

I was married to a family full of cultural celebrities, and yes they have some pretty big void and something is always not quite there. The real heroes are aware and at peace with themselves and their surroundings. They do not need to justify their existence by mass validation…lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 02:55 PM
10

Wow I just lived through your post it seems. Standards and needs are so different. Physical appearance does not always mean a healthy or compatible lifestyle. My hubby had high metabolism, he was tall, with lean muscle, people usually mistook him for professional athlete when we were out. But he had a super unhealthy lifestyle, he ate carbs and carbs, no exercise or physical activity, extremely sedentary lifestyle, plus he was into smoking, which kind of caused his death, making severe setback i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 02:17 AM
6

: I am speechless at the breadth of your imagination but again having lived that life- real life is so much harder, having a reality check fantasy makes so much sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 01:49 AM
6

Yes and the substance abusers are always looking to build a syndicate to continue their abuse. He may only like you to have company while he drinks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 01:45 AM
6

It takes a while to let go of that idea, the attachment here is not with the person but with the idea you built in your head, the dreams and fantasies are very much yours- your subconscious will try to find ways to keep that idea alive or reinforcing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 01:43 AM
7

Sigh I hear you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 01:29 AM
130

I remember a dialogue, can’t remember from where, it was ‘women are more likely to get killed by someone for whom they would open their door’.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 09:30 PM
32

So true! It happened with me and one of my friends. Although our hubbies were excellent with other kids and loved/loves us, they were different with their own kids. I have seen it with my uncle too, he is excellent with all the other kids- the cool happy fun uncle, but with own kids he was extremely judgmental and trying to reap out all the investment he made to the kids in the disguise of he wants the ‘best from the kids’. My hubby developed separation anxiety and started seeing our kiddo as hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 06:43 PM
24

That.is.a.bold.post. I have seen guys move and align every planet to build a home with their partner, seen my HV friends bribe just to change trajectory of their career so they can have an extended support system for a few years of that initial child rearing phase to their wives. Yeah if there is any excuse then it’s not worth the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 04:42 PM
5

The standards are up for safety reason to vet out people who will reach out to ugly girls anyway just for a casual place holder or situationship. Apart from appearances girls bring their heart and life to a relationship, and could be extra careful to avoid anyone who does not have the capacity to receive them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/21 11:03 AM
1

Or maybe they want to work on long term intimacy muscle rather than being stuck in the hamster wheels of one infatuation after another. Relationships are not a different cuisine to try for them, rather an opportunity to make a home, a predictable refuge to seek after facing the world, it is about having a team mate to navigate life and make long lasting memories with lots of ‘remember when..’ conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/21 01:19 PM
1

If you love yourself you will love the person who loves you, if you hate yourself you will resent the person who loves you, although you desire to be loved, the more they love you - the more they will lose value in your eyes-cause deep down you are incapable of receiving love- so then comes the Madonna Whore complex. When it happened to me (I am a woman), I was so devastated and tried to internalize- I just got widowed from a 9yr marriage, and hubby was the first person I dated, so I knew this M…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/21 12:46 PM
20

Yeah I was super surprised when one of my manager reached out to me to date, he was awesome, coolest and all, but outside of office he is just a toddler I was dragging, I was super shocked to see his personality shift 180, then my neighbour( an Uber cool solo woman) told me -men do not know how to project a personality without a definite social paradigm. If you are a person who is aiding to his social status then he might have a personality for you, but for me, a general person- they are usually…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 04:55 PM
14

Yes, it too happened with me but that is part of people come for a ‘season, reason or lifetime’ case. Some friends are still there despite being married, divorced, widowed, rehabbed, moving to different continents. We still have the same energy and take refuge into each other. No one is too busy, you are just not the priority at that moment. I do mourn the loss of a lot of friends, and I don’t regret that on our time together we had loads of fun, maybe that was the purpose of that relationship- …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 03:17 PM
38

Might be an unpopular opinion but I would suck it up and sit through a dinner date, having a meal in a public setting reveals how much of a decency act he can pull on. I am an introvert too, back in pickmeisha days had a situationship where the guy took me to a dinner 1 yr after we met, and on that dinner I found how insecure he is in public, he snapped at me few times, made fun of my accent and took side with a PUA who insulted me by trying to initiate small conversation. By the time dinner end…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 05:46 AM
8

For me 30 was the time my body stopped releasing the ‘seek for validation’ hormones. But yeah I got married at 21, although my hubby’s family was HV, and they truly loved me, at that age I was not ready to prioritize me or set up my boundaries. I wanted to be a good wife, adding values to my hubby’s family, wanted to prove myself worthy of their love(which they did not require, they love me unconditionally). But as a result my education took a toll, It took me 2 more years to graduate fully. The…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 02:55 PM
75

Yeah it’s subtle harassment though, you cannot verbalized but you feel it in your skin and it was deliberate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 09:15 PM
37

Aah the answer!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 01:21 PM
59

I find it so difficult in cohabitation, only one person gets to keep their lifestyle, and we women are the one to let ours go. Yes, hobbies should be something that reinforces you. I have seen in guys who keep hobbies as an excuse to smoke and drink away with their buddies. It is like an syndicate or support system to continue their addiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 01:20 PM
28

I am just sick to my stomach, we, the people who wants be mommy just have men to mate and leave them like most of other animals in the wild. They are too risky to be around kids with their glorifying history of pedophilia; drug, gamble, porn addiction; if having kids would rather live like a panda 🐼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 12:56 PM
83

And that’s why if I have a minute I would rather spend it with my female friends, relatives reinforcing our relationship than a guy. I did it my whole life, and have not regret it once. I had tremendous setbacks and downfalls in life all caused by my shitty family members (mostly boys) and my friends(girls) set my perspectives right every time, gathered my pieces from the floor and help me get back up again face the world. It’s not male that saved me ( unless they saw me as a possible option to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 12:37 PM
23

Can’t even imagine being raised by a dad like this, my dad conveniently hid every time I needed him .. so yeah I use any resemblance of his characteristic to vet out useless boys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 08:21 PM
47

Yes! So true, I have a solo mom neighbor, I am a solo mom too, but she just cannot believe I decided to stop going after dating- she is like , you need to have fun.. and I was like what part of it is fun? And she was like we need company, I was like I need company I enjoy. It is deeply engrained in our brain that we need a man in the household, relationships are basic human need like food and clothe- no they are not, we are wasting our time for a lost cause just to have a delusion of inclusivity…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 02:58 PM
124

I also realized during my last sex session that I was just there to serve his ego, and then it hit me I was doing the same thing my whole fucking active sex life, and did any one of them reciprocate? No. None of them served my ego, pleased me, rather took it to the point it felt procedural, or slut-shamed if I wanted to try something just for fun. Also the interrogation of how many sex partner I have had before-during sex feels like harassing me for having sex with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 12:57 PM
6

In my previous country’s pick me culture this incompetence is glorified, ‘oh poor baby does not know how to navigate the fridge without me!’. There’s a saying too, ‘ a mute girl and a blind guy has the happiest marriage’, and they raise their son and daughter like that. Even as a young kid I gasped when I heard that phrase the first time, we are targeted for our mouth from very early on- that’s why FDS receives so much hate, we are not mute! And I found guys shows no incompetency when they gambl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 12:35 PM
5

Lol when I saw those tv channels I find majority of chefs are males, I mean they know how to cook, they would cook for money but not for himself or his family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 11:14 AM
10

Few days ago we went to my Aunt’s house where her hubby was throwing a huge tantrum, uncle went to a lunch invitation with all of his bros, all these bros fall into highly intellectual category of my country. They didn’t know they have to make reservations at restaurant, then waited in line for 45 minutes, then went to another restaurant frustrated, after that none of them could decipher the menu, so ordered something that did not resembled the portion size in their head, hence came home with a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 11:07 AM
57

Thanks, finally!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 03:34 AM
124

You just described me in my workplace as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 03:30 AM
30

She does not want to be lonely and start all over again, she does not want to invite an unidentifiable source of abuse rather thinks it may be okay to put up with some known pattern of abuse- since her faith in herself is destroyed because she chose a shitty partner to marry, she still seems to be on some track, she fears if there’s a change in lifestyle-combined income, it may steer away from her career goals.- (those are the excuses my friend gave to me when I asked her to leave her hubby who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 06:54 PM
5

Thank you for pointing out the subtle detail, learning new things everyday! Leaving it as it is though , once over 40 it’s all same for them 40-80 same same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 02:30 AM
38

A lot of culture has the norm that by default bride will take care of their aging in laws and also their own parents. It is a major hit on their career and education cause they are basically the nurse there. In those cultures girls are encouraged to get married early, as a result they do not even know how to form a healthy boundary also their own identity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 01:17 AM
28

I have found in my previous country/culture that people are genetically mutated to obey anything that a 40+ woman says, no wonder our prime minister and opposition party leader are both 40+ woman, men are more cautious around you, they do not perceive you as an entertainment piece, they kind of think if an elderly women is saying it it may make sense because they(men) do not want to exercise their brain neurones anyway. So I have always dreamt about being 40+, I do not need sex appeal, I need to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 08:37 PM
4

True!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 10:19 AM
2

I am either attracted right away or never. That’s how I make friends, I do not make friends with guys I am sexually attracted to. I did try in dating once or twice hoping it will grow eventually but it does not.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 09:59 PM
15

Yeah then close the chapter with your GF and start exploring- how hard that could be?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 06:52 PM
9

Their value system is so messed up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 06:50 PM
6

I have seen a crime episode somewhere about the same situation, obviously it was portrayed both girls were the villains, the guy was a hopeless romantic victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 06:43 PM
76

Recently we had a suicide case of a mom of a special child when she discovered her hubby had extra marital affair. One of the psychologist was saying, we teach our girls to take care of everyone except themselves. In contrast I have seen how much an HVM can do in this scenario, one of my friend was severely depressed during pregnancy while being solely with her hubby in a foreign country, her hubby was doing a fellowship in Harvard at that time. At the first sign of her depression he withdrawn f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 05:00 PM
71

My dad is a stoic narc and it feels so suffocating to live with a person like this, the only emotion we encountered as kid is his passive aggressive eerie look. And for outside world he has this dream boy attitude. At home it is just an unavailable stone wall. My mom used to scream, yell in the Hope for a human heartbeat and definitely he would put all I mean all on her making her look a crazy psycho. I used to think my mom was nuts, dad was the poor victim but then my brother lived with him for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 08:50 AM
19

I decided not to cohabit with anyone again, I myself even with my own parents was walking on eggshells all the time at my home. I have a boy, so the role model I bring to him will be extremely important, it is difficult to find a man who does not have an addiction or disorder, till this day I am yet to find a dad who does not huff and puff/are passive aggressive taking care of their own kid, so do not want to put my kid into a step kid situation. My kid is happy, have full reign in our home, and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 03:51 PM
15

Exactly.. I have seen it -sharing nudes to an ex colleague.. not even pals
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 08:13 PM
39

Yes and to be honest, as a person who is academic oriented I do feel it is really difficult to attain higher studies on your own, even in my previous country/ culture where most education are government funded it takes two generations’ effort to have a post graduate degree. Even if you get scholarships and all, some families do not encourage their kids to get married before they receive a graduate degree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:37 PM
39

And I have seen guys pass around lists of the girls who responds to his pals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:15 PM
10

True.. lack of self awareness is what boils down to even choosing a person who you do not admire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 05:05 PM
37

Yup and most cases they will be the one creating the unsafe situation for you, if it’s created by external factor they will throw you as the first prey. I highly suggest never ever lose your ground i.e. career, financial freedom, education and support system for a man. He is only going to do this to make you vulnerable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 04:41 PM
15

Yup most of us have been there and for what .. inclusivity?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 03:55 PM
13

Sigh and yes, I remember I had a brief casual dating phase where at the end I just realized that I was trading sex for snuggles, the guys used to give me weird looks even if I touch them with clothes on.. such a shameful period for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 01:11 PM
9

My love language is touch- and I / any human can understand touch- I know touch when it comes from someone who cares, I know touch when they reach out for just a release/toilet paper, I know touch when they are just groping.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 01:05 PM
3

My mindset finally shifted after I watched ‘Dietland’, an Amazon prime series, I realized I was judging my very own body on its bangability, as if the sole purpose of having a body is to be sexually appetizing to men, and men and society -after you take in the effort to be pretty as per their current ideology- they take you and make porn with you, they put you in the windows of Amsterdam to make money from the beauty. They don’t even know how to handle the beauty they long for, it’s like asking …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 12:47 PM
51

Wow so much hugs to her and all those who experienced this. My mom always wanted to make me feel guilty (even for sleeping at night), and I kind of drew a solid boundary there - for some reason I felt she did not like me and I stopped internalizing her reaction towards me, rather started to tackle situation as they rise, I also started giving me a hug because I knew I would not receive it from my parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 05:16 AM
35

Wow and I always thought I am not tall enough, thin enough, pretty enough, white enough to deserve a little respect, if someone cannot provide commitment to her( according to my insecure self she has all those qualities), and yet is treated that way. I remember guys used to pass around contact information of easy girls to their friends in my previous country.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 05:03 AM
24

The truth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 02:19 AM
7

This is so true, I have seen 3-4 female friends who after having setbacks like depression and other mental breakdown, went through shrink, rehab, medication whatever is needed to get their life back together. But the guys think they are not man enough if they seek mental health care- I have two doctor male in my family and their soul crushed when I asked them to seek psychological help- rather dumped all on me, their drug addiction- it was my job to handle it. While all my crisis I had to handle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 12:57 PM
10

Yes the thing is if they do not feel any attachment to you he would not get up involuntarily. And life is way harder than this, I have seen my LVM dad hide away when we needed him most, was never there during our surgery, robbery, death of our mom and other tough times, rather throw us under the bus like let us handle his borrowers who he turned into wolves by delaying payments while he took refuge in a different country for 7 yrs. I was reading about Canada Geese and their dad stay behind the k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 12:50 PM
9

So true, all the things listed and more are already done by all women, and they say ‘what you bring to the table?’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 12:13 PM
28

I <3 how blunt FDS is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 02:12 AM
27

True! No wonder there are so many other factors in celebrity marriages, those may not really apply to normal household scenarios. But yeah how you marry could be a statement altogether.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 05:34 PM
58

Lol boys’ family bags at least 1 generation of wealth in the form of ‘gift’ (upper class), or ‘dowry’(middle-lower middle class) from girls’ family, expenditures on wedding ceremony is nothing compared to that, no way marriage would be 50-50 in South Asia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 02:28 PM
10

I feel both have to fall into same communication spectrum. I look for signs that if me being around opens up the guy or shuts him down, and look for the same in me - if I am feeling cautious, self conscious or comfortable? Any uneasiness taken care of by any effort should be taken into account. I am an introvert but I found communication is different than being a conversationalist, you can always communicate with the person if you feel an attachment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 02:15 AM
38

I have seen men fetishizing my widowhood (!) multiple times, my religion, my skin color, height, size of my boobs and hips, oh boy ! I am just a fetish to them, a kink, a different meal to try on, not a human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:50 AM
13

:(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 06:07 PM
9

Oh my I have a pickme story to tell, I studied in the topmost engineering university in my previous country, I found one of my classmate studied hard and got admission in that university so that she can score a engineer husband from that particular university. I was discussing career goals with her one day and she told me she does not want work since her job was getting a ‘high profile’ husband which is done. I was so shocked to know how her brain is wired.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 01:19 AM
14

Both
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 07:07 PM
9

True, I also accepted as no winning, I do invest heavily into making a good network with women at my work, there are not many in my workplace but I make sure they know I value them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 05:28 PM
21

Wow, I found most of my pretty female friends are victims of this scenario
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 05:25 PM
8

Amen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 05:21 PM
8

That’s very toxic, I am just so sorry! Hugs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 05:18 PM
26

I have two perspectives on it, one was from my bestie, she is beautiful and talented, guys used to flock over her like bees, ants etc. and one day she was telling me sadly that she could never make a guy friend, even if she like a guy as a friend the moment she extended a conversation the guy and all his crew took at as they are together. She is extremely neutral in her approach, never flirts, and loyal, but could never ever talk to a guy without guys interpreting it as flirting. With her it was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 05:09 PM
35

Any life is better than being a cheater’s wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 01:50 PM
31

Yup mine was a sandwich made out of few strands of cotsco rotisserie chicken over wonder bread with only mustard fixing, so much for cooking together as a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 10:23 AM
12

Well apparently she made her decision, that is to suck it up and stay with him, every bit of suggestions I gave to my bestie on her narc hubby she rubbed it on me later in the wrong way, even when he beat her. And her crisis will be more exaggerated when you need some friends by your side, she will never be there for you but would try to shift your attention to her crisis by always making it sounding bigger and scarier than yours. In short you would not get the same or 10% of the support in your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 10:45 AM
167

The word ‘fiancé’ got my heart broken, I am sorry for your time and emotions invested in this relationship, sending all the best and beautiful energy to you, hugs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 01:43 AM
52

Yeah like two guys I met were saying, their wife forced/dragged them into marrying and having kids, how come someone force a male into marriage and having kids? They would just say anything to get into our pants and later will blame us for expecting the same thing they told us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 10:31 AM
2

I left after being a widow, my friends who got divorced most left the country, those who stayed got back together with their abusive hubby to avoid this projected stereotype
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 06:33 PM
1

I started putting an effort in my appearance as a form of appreciation of what life has presented me. I have lost everything and then slowly built my life again, every moment I am able and active means a moment to celebrate, I wear a cute outfit and look good cause that just inner me representing myself to the outer world.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 03:26 AM
16

I had a incident in my in laws family, where a guy secretly dated and impregnated the younger divorced sister as a revenge and then fled to a different continent after the elder sister dumped him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 11:42 PM
8

I met two guys who did this as fun play to turn sisters and besties against each other, they love to see two girls wrestling over for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 11:22 PM
25

Amen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 02:23 PM
37

5’5” is not short
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 12:46 PM
8

I too found out during my university that most girls coming from middle/upper middle class are there to build an image equipped with their bangability to make their way into life and unfortunately there are enough dickhead boss, colleagues, customers to path their way. I did not mind as long as they are aware and using their resources to make their own stories in life, but it hurts so much when they compare and diminish other’s struggle. We all fighting our own battles in our own way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 12:42 PM
22

That’s why people go to sex workers even though they have wives at home, wife can file violence charges, sex workers cannot, it will always be ‘well you signed up for this, did not you?’ For them. Anyone not having the brain or conscience to think it through how much it affects a girl/boy socioeconomically, physically, and emotionally should be dismissed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 12:29 PM
20

Not sure how much effective the vaccine is, my bestie who is a doctor arranged a vaccination campaign during her student yrs, and in the end she was demoralized cause the vaccine does not prevent all strains only a handful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 06:20 PM
3

Lol my dad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 05:53 PM
24

I don’t know why she can’t think of taking up a student loan and studying in a subject that pays more, 26f with no dependents, what’s holding her back to to work on improving her earning potential, having a career? I might be victim blaming here but she needs to have a financial backbone, otherwise it will be one poor decision after another, she seems to be still stuck in the idea of ‘couple’. There is no coupling happening here, only exploitation of her naivety. I was stay at home wife/mom two …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:49 PM
16

So happy for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:29 PM
2

Yup happened twice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:28 PM
13

Yeah some prompt right away to intimate questions, even before asking what I do for living, or what are my hobbies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:27 PM
10

Yeah this is the reason I want to stay away from dating, like they want us to entertain them like marvellous mrs midgel non stop to keep them interested, I want a life partner here, smug! looks like they come for stand up comedian who also fucks, cooks, cleans and breeds babies on side.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:25 PM
17

Been there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:22 PM
19

Oh the memories
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:21 PM
3

They will just eat your youth, time and energy off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:02 PM
11

I had some relatives who started wearing hijab after getting divorced because men in our Bengali culture would just think they are stray now and can be treated anyway, hijab acted as a statement to establish their boundaries there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 01:54 PM
4

Yup , no to cohabitation with a man again, too much risk too much to lose for too little reward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 09:46 AM
30

Every week in my pregnancy came with a different limitation, one week I could not move my wrist, another week I had full blown flu, not to mention the nausea and dizziness that were constant, I remember in the last week my bestie came to see me, I was so swollen, she asked me if I have considered terminating the pregnancy. Guys should be carrying a bowl and someone should be hitting, punching the hell inside out of him to be 50/50 there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 07:30 PM
67

I had this delusional idea too, but it was broke on our 1st team project in university, men will pull on the heroic act if there is some bangability involved in short future..like a real hot chic where he can stick his dick afterwards , otherwise they will do ‘if her daddy’s poor, do what you wish’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:55 PM
36

Haha no they don’t, they never, most or all cases they are the one creating the disaster-the sooner you realize the Disney delusion the better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:34 PM
21

So true! Being raised in a pickmeisha culture I found most of my female friends were fully unaware of the standards. I noticed among my guy friends some of them were ready to date for 10-12 yrs but did not date, they only proceeded with girls who bring the same morale and integrity, with whom they love to spend time and there is a connection. I resonated with that and waited rather than dating around to pass time, my heart is not up for playing games.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 12:42 PM
110

We all should ask ourselves these questions every two years and purge people/work/lifestyle that does not aid up to the levelling up. After becoming a widow one of my female friend came and congratulated me saying this is the first time I will be able to put myself in priority, and she wished I never take that privilege away from me. At that moment I was shocked, but I can see being raised in a patriarchal culture we never know that we can be our priority too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:59 PM
22

True, people say dating is a number’s game, but I have hard time not letting the numbers mutilate me, also dating itself- I am a ride or die person- I ‘d rather hold on than going into a situation-ship that makes me confused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 12:04 AM
49

Same with my dad, he conveniently hid away even during our crisis, I kept him with me which seems like constant electric short circuit in my brain but if I let him loose he will just keep asking my in laws for money( I am a widow of 4yrs, never asked any help from my in laws, but my dad happily takes the interest of my marriage). Please read Adult Children of Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 10:53 PM
6

Wow what an honest opinion.. may be she wants someone else to resonate with her situation here..to yeah …normalize
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 02:22 PM
12

Saving it for life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 01:14 PM
17

And a new brain too, the current 🧠 is 🍋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 09:02 AM
42

Uber cool you are I must say!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 07:36 AM
29

Young men seek cougar, I tried to join a 40+ yr meet up group few days ago despite being 34 cause our interest aligns but was told they have strict age rule cause young men always search for MILF fun
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 03:24 PM
32

She was brainwashed to cover up the shitty parenting that followed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 03:15 PM
12

Perfect prey!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 03:12 PM
29

True.. as a solo parent I once went to a ‘coffee date’ with another solo parent, he outright say he will keep dating girls and bringing babies in the world cause ultimately it’s not his responsibility. I trust a woman’s judgement more if she decides to walk away from marriage when kids are in the scene. A woman would do anything to secure her marriage with kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 03:11 PM
7

Yes, lying creates more problems down the line, I prefer to say I am not comfortable sharing, if anyone respects boundary s/he will stop or I cut them off. In fact I am not comfortable anymore in any cohabitation situation where the other person will have access to all my information. My LVM dad borrowed money from each one of my mother’s family members, friends, even her patients after my mom passed away, then flew away and hid in Middle East for 7yrs letting us, the kids handle all the harassm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 01:12 PM
8

My parents in law were married for 50yrs, my MIL was loved by all, she was glamorous and graceful, the reason why my FIL loved her but still he was extremely insecure about that, even at age 70 he used to rape her every time a guy gave her any attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 06:29 PM
9

They don’t actually like themselves, so anyone who loves them, they will despise them for loving them- it is a never ending self loathing limbo! You cannot love someone on their behalf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 12:21 PM
13

True everyone knows..they just want to see how much shit we can be put up with. Thanks to FDS for pointing out which are ‘shit’,
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 11:38 AM
4

I think it is more of borderline personality disorder
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 06:35 PM
38

Lol they are predators if not sexual then financial or other sort of
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 06:22 PM
15

Yes and please please be careful to avoid taking favours, I was naive enough to accept favours at the beginning of my job thinking it might be the workplace culture, but later the transactions of that favours were wrung out of me in the most inconvenient time. Please do not take or give anything unless directed by supervisors or cc’ing the supervisor, specially from male colleagues, they are either jealous of you or gonna use you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 12:23 AM
15

Well everyone has to pay the price for stupidity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 12:12 AM
221

Yup you need to look like an infant to arouse men these days. Better hide your infants from men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 10:13 PM
18

Yeah saw that yesterday, it reminded me once I was in a different country with friends, and wanted to explore a different part of a town where none of my friends were interested to go, I went alone since it was our last day in that country and I did not know when I could be back. It got late when I finished dinner, texted hubby (who was in another country) that I had dinner and about to take a bus, I was completely naive of the fact that I will be taking a bus in rural road for 50km( 2hr journey…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 01:33 PM
5

Wow! I am charmed at your awareness! Only after changing continents I finally came to know I am an effective communicator, it’s great that you could find it out for yourself. In my first customer service job I found all of the supervisors, managers are introverted, they are attentive, they interact to solve the issue, which brings result- but in lunch hour everyone was behind a book..lol. That kind of boosted my confidence, we introverts do not talk for the sake of talking, we talk to make somet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 08:13 PM
14

My friend who is a at her knees right now when I told her to leave (7yrs ago, and now) she tells me if she finds someone he will have his own set of abuse, this abusive pattern she is familiar with, she can’t adapt with a new abuse pattern.. some of us just gave up on idea that a person can be without abuse.. it could be abusive towards me- to which I can say no to.. or abusive towards themselves which we cannot control.. only pass the day in the most dreaded way constantly thinking whatever is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 07:21 PM
17

This. I can see one of my neighbours-she is damn awesome, she works and take care of home, kids, pretty resourceful when it comes to arranging quality family time with her friends, parents and siblings, neighbours and kids, she manages all her home maintenance, arranges childcare, takes care of her step kids to ensure they have some meaningful time. Her mom was telling me how she strategically bought and sell properties to eventually own a home. So far I could not even see her hubby pitching int…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 07:26 AM
5

Yes if they are prone to abuse they will abuse anything, riceaholic, workaholic- it’s the nature- it’s best to run at the first sign
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 02:50 AM
27

Yes it only grows stronger and deeper, the gifts and all which in the beginning was a reflection of how he feels about me later was getting more personalized and customized as he keeps getting to know me better, hubby found other avenues show love and affection, respected my friends and family in a way just to alleviate my position in their eyes, even after 9years hubby used to turn down offers to bike with friends or movie nights with colleagues just because my schedule won’t align and he would…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 10:48 AM
15

Thank you so much for sharing this, after wasting 21 months on self doubt I came to FDS to validate a lvm’s avoidant behaviour, every word you said has been applied to me, this hurts so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 06:54 PM
20

I remember once a guy in Reddit approached me, while chatting he mentioned he loves long drive and he does it on a daily basis for his work, kid and friends. while I checked his post history I found him making hook up posts here and there where the girl needs to come near his home so he does not have to get on the freeway to go and pick her up, also she needs to be on IUD cause he hates to wear condoms, also it has to be in a day where his mom will be out of home cause he lives with his mom, plu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 11:41 AM
6

This is so beautiful, I did not know that, yes on my 3rd day of marriage I felt why people bother so much about looks and money where the actual beauty lies there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:32 AM
6

People who genuinely care will never rub off their care on your face, they care because they feel they would be okay if you are okay, it is like their survival depends on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:26 AM
11

That’s the tempo I got from my hubby and his family even 4yrs after his death, if I needed something hubby would have already done it before I even realized the need, and it felt so special. The tempo was on from our first text and it continued throughout the 9 yrs of our marriage. I live in a different country now where my dad came to visit me, I extended his visa and informed my aunt in law who lives here about the visa extension, she called right away and asked if my dad need any medicine fro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:15 AM
34

Can’t agree more, besides hubby I took care of my brother, father in law, my dad and son, living with them is so exhausting, why I am by default have to figure out everything? From changing light bulbs, handling their depression, taking care of their social life, fix everything after a car accident - it’s too much for too little reward even though I love them. Only male help I got so far is when I hire them outside family and friends. And not to mention - no acknowledgement only be happy with th…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 07:13 AM
3

So far in my life I have only seen one couple who reinforces each other, in forms of values, financial decision, family life and career. If the goal is not same in these four sections then the partner becomes a hurdle to personal growth no matter how much they earn.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 06:54 AM
13

As someone who got married during my schooling (although I do not regret it) but it hampered my career in the following way- I had to rush home after finishing office work, my weekends were always busy with family liabilities, while my fresh out of the university friends spent that time to build and foster networks in their industry, learn new skill set, get as much qualifications as they can, go to a different country to do volunteer work/short term projects, be known in the professional circle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 06:30 AM
13

Having and raising a baby alone has much higher success rate than raising the baby with a scrote, I raised my baby from being a stay at home mom. If you do not have to put up with some adult child’s drama constantly, life becomes a lot easier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 07:46 PM
29

She left? Thanks God! She should.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 07:44 PM
5

Ewwww, they prefer younger women to apply this transactional formula and what not! Wow and she decided to have a baby with a guy who breaks down baby expenses to this level? I am happy in my Panda phase..where I raise my kid alone like a panda.. even with other babies father ‘present’ in baby’s life all I can see them is pouting and puffing at every little task related to baby. It is better to raise a kid alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 07:39 PM
17

Make a joke out of their life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 11:34 AM
2

Hugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 09:40 PM
2

Lol yeah if the standards were set by women I won’t complain but they are set by dicks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 05:30 PM
3

Lol spot on! Meanwhile my smoking hot female friends are complaining they can’t even hold a decent conversation with their hubby or constantly walking on eggshells/being totally isolated from their friends or family cause their BF is so insecure to be with a hot girl that he is constantly accusing her of some delusional cheating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 05:16 PM
13

It’s sad that a large spectrum of guys never ever bother about mental connection, it’s all about appearances to them, what they are getting in bed, uplifting his image among peers, boss, family with GF’s appearance, how much the girl is increasing his social profile, it is hardly ever establishing a mental refuge to come home to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 02:35 PM
50

Lol perks of being a not hot girl.. it filters out superficial guys. My condolences to the super hot girls .. their predator pool is so shallow and wide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 01:33 PM
39

This comment brought a heartbreaking memory, my bestie got beaten by her hubby and was asking me if what she did was that wrong,(it was over little details, she did not wash kettles right after pouring the tea sort of tardiness) I was sobbing and crying on the other side of the phone saying no amount of wrong can be justified by beating up a person as special as someone’s life partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 08:39 AM
16

I did not have great sex with my hubby of 9yrs. I was young, 21 yr old and did not have sex with anyone before hubby. I did not even know I can be assertive in bed as I was raised in a patriarchal Muslim culture, I feared of being slut-shamed to vocalize my preferences. If I tried to be a bit proactive I felt hubby feeling threatened and he cocooned. Also hubby was a porn addict, he used to use porn as foreplay and my body to finish. After hubby passed away I had a phase of casual sex. I had awe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 12:16 PM
22

It it comes as a phase of seeking validation, but the whole process felt clinical, procedural, and after taste was like a dump ground. I felt more hollow and self conflicted than before sex. So yeah better fuck myself than douchebags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 11:43 AM
17

My manager
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 03:25 AM
84

Well take it as a phase for growing up, you have to crawl first to walk, I do not have regrets for my crazy twenties- but I am glad that I did every sort of mistake and still came out of it somewhat okayish, I had a lot of friends and after starting family and job we all kind of parted our way, I do not have any regrets like wasting time, I take it as a celebrating the phase, also learning human behaviour and tendencies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 08:18 PM
1

I am a widow so 24/7 parent, I decided to put off dating cause there is no way I can isolate a time for me now, I am not looking for a partner to raise my kid, rather someone to de stress and relax with but that pushed me to a unhealthy spectrum of relationships where guys would only want me as a side chick, a part of endless supply, or as a bangmom who will baby him as well beside her own kid. Can’t do that. So will wait till kiddo is 18 to have something exclusive. My hubby loved me a lot but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 01:25 PM
1

Maybe you can try a different approach- maybe look for a person who gets you, who understands you without you ever explaining it, you guys tune or have the same communication spectrum, maybe go for someone who loves themselves so that you do not have to love her on her behalf, maybe someone who wants to make a team and build a life together, who doesn’t want to find flags and all but would appreciate some company along the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 09:07 AM
62

Wow yeah, there is a dialogue in ‘Dietland’ where a girl wanted to be skinny and pretty, and another girl showed her some top rated porns in pornhub and said they are everything that you want to be- yet where the society has lead them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 08:50 AM
62

It is so great that you are taking care of yourself, financial portfolio should be a separate entity and cannot be bend or compromised. My eyes finally opened after reading the book CEO of Everything. And I can vouch for what you have said with my experience- even during 9 yrs of happy marriage with my HV hubby, my monthly income was $279, yes you read it right- but I was in a third world country- to compare hubby was earning $2k at the peak. I am hard working through and through but due to fami…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:37 PM
10

Same here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 10:25 PM
10

What we consider a life .. is a kink for them, we are just kinks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 08:25 PM
70

Hahaha .. he resents her cause he doesn’t think he is lovable so he starts to demean the girl thinking she must be a loser to sleep with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 08:19 PM
1

I had a few epiphanies, I used to take grief therapy after my hubby passed away, and every time I said something bad about me, subtle ways of beating myself up, my psychologist used to point that out to me. I started to notice how I converse with myself, I never ever project an ideal image of me and beat myself up over it, I decided I would just accept me and love me, the whole wild world is out there to judge me- it’s not my job. I found if I fluctuate my diet and exercise habit a lot, my body …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 05:56 PM
7

Thanks! After coming to FDS, I started noticing how most songs are about justifying behaviours of LVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 02:27 PM
40

My parents, li’l brother, bestie were/are doctors, I can vouch they are narcissistic, if they are good doctors they are going to be workaholic, if they are bad, people are suffering for them, the amount of stress they bring home is unbearable, and also the study/qualification exam never ends, each exam is like 2-3 yrs of painful episode on the whole family, they are always with people who complain(patient) , that desensitized them, so if you are not dying then you may not be worth their attentio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 07:00 AM
23

sigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:31 AM
20

This is so true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:29 AM
49

The abuse that me and my friends endured felt accidental, one time incident, but after coming to FDS it seems so grammatical and methodical-as if there is a book on how to become predators and men read and follow it, it is so good to have a forum to share our experiences to make us more aware.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 02:10 PM
6

Oh yeah he is gonna fuck the flairs outta OP- that’s surely the plan!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:18 AM
47

I had the same thing happened to me, I was heartbroken more that my friend ditched me over a cheater, at that moment I was trying to protect her from the guy but the guy framed me as jealous and my x friend believed him. It took almost a decade to heal. But I also came across time to time while my classmates used to discuss nasty relationships, they sometimes brought my ex friend’s relationship with that guy. I felt anxious that the guy tested every limit with my friend, he continued cheating, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 04:10 PM
15

Yes the post is a great eye opener, I guess getting married at a young age has its expense, we are not sure of our personal boundaries and priorities, would do anything to feel belonged in the new family. One of my friend once pointed to me while brides are expected to do all these things, the grooms have an unconditional acceptance in the family, people are happy just by their physical existence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 11:45 AM
24

That is the very first step of abuse, isolating you. Second step is getting on board with your dreams so that you think they are essential for your goals. Third step taking your financial freedom away/binding you with lots of financial agreements. After ensuring these three they will raise the temperature of abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:16 AM
-1

Wait..what? I thought these all are part of being married means!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:13 AM
16

Amen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:45 PM
31

While I was a teenager, I had a tutor from that University, he is a self made man, even after that he was really sad after breaking up with his gf reason 1. since her daddy’s got money he could have bagged few hundred thousands while in relationship like few of his class mates, reason 2. missing out on a girl with fair skin There was no mention of feelings or communication there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:19 PM
116

Lol…I used to study in a highly competitive engineering university, guys there used to hunt down girls who are from rich families- they bring the never ending line of credit! Even while working I used to find my start up company boss used to hire rich daddy’s girls, since their dad, dad’s friend and relatives have lots of projects that my boss could bag. We the poor daddy’s girl were there to do the donkey work. To sum up - you will be a prey no matter rich or poor!- just a different type of pre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 12:17 PM
30

Could you name/link that women’s post? Sounds interesting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 02:44 AM
27

WOW! What a life perspective in a nutshell! Yes, I have seen it with overly successful people that they need to feel a void. My male friends who have heart of gold never ever treat their wives as craps, I have also seen among my hubby’s hvm friend circle that they usually have a silent competition of who is treating their wives better, they kind of raise each other’s standard. But yeah none of them need a corner office rather they opt for a balanced and fulfilled life enriched with meaningful ex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 02:27 PM
8

Hugs and all the best!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 02:13 AM
6

This is so sweet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 02:10 AM
17

Lol yeah apart from fixing their life and saving the universe.. Rei/Leia need to provide sufficient entertainment to their man!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 07:49 PM
99

A big portion of my previous country’s fellow men get into drugs and by 40 all of their major organs give up, after that their family has to drag them till they die. I kind of wonder how many years these men contribute to the economy and the society, and how many years the society has to pay its price for the entitlement that comes with this ‘active’ contribution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 04:10 PM
88

I feel Princess Leia ruined the subsequent generations ..after coming to North America I found guys kind of assumed they can get away being a mopey, tantrum throwing toddler without any constructive direction, and there will be a Leia or a naive Rei everywhere to navigate the ship and balming their shit show.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 03:33 PM
51

Dating was a basic need for my best friend and my li’l brother .. they were always in some relationships.. the amount of drama they had to endure, and the amount of hard work I had to do to make them straight after each break up, helped me to keep relationships out of my core agenda.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 03:19 PM
50

If it is a void and someone tries to fill it with external factors/people then the void keeps getting bigger, deeper. The fulfillment has to come from within, no amount of external factors can aid to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 03:17 PM
24

I went to a guy’s home, his boss congratulated him on earning 6 grand this year, and yet he was without a bed frame! Oh FDS how you opened my eyes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 02:07 PM
28

Yup they won’t get married until their two feet are in grave and third foot is barely outside.. thats the time they realize they can’t score anyone with higher skin elasticity.. and it’s time to secure a bang-nurse-maid/wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 02:01 PM
13

Pretty girls start to get attention even before they know they are attractive, my bestie never had any expectations or set standard in men, mostly she didn’t know what to do with all these attention and was just catering to it , guys hardly ever wanted to be her friend, everyone wanted to score her. She alerted me on world a big time, I never want to be a ‘I don’t know what I want’ person and just play along, I never make friends with a person I am sexually attracted to, I had clear boundaries a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 11:21 PM
23

It is so sad especially for an attractive woman, my bestie is so pretty, people used to stop us on road and asked her out, but hardly anyone understood her, she finally married to a person who tried to get her for 5yrs but still with him can’t have a conversation. The saddest part is my bestie has a beautiful mind, she is a doctor, simple and easy going, loves to read book, help everyone, never craves attention, loyal and committed, her mind is more beautiful than her outside, she is loved ans r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 10:43 PM
5

So true! That part of brain that says ‘you need a person who gets you’ is somehow not developed in them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 10:37 PM
8

These women bring self awareness which a 25 yr old may or may not master..easier to manipulate at young age, hold them hostage for their dreams and life plans
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 10:35 PM
13

Yeah all my life I have to deal with my parents who are like this. Looking for actions rather than words is my basic instinct being raised in a misogynistic LVMW family. I am better alone than with people who lack self awareness, does not have any clue on their capacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 09:42 PM
34

Only after coming to FDS I realized, ‘ hey maybe I can be mad about these’, the way we validate our feelings here.. I remember a post where an OP amputated each of the frustrations another girl is going to feel after she finishes her date with an LVM. It’s all part of the culture we are raised in where we are judged by our bangability even from at the age of 6. It takes a lot of hurt to say ‘no’. My first woke up point was when I saw two beautiful, amicable, extremely talented and successful lad…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 09:33 AM
35

Yup those who are curious are the ones who jerk at my molestation and rape story. In my 9 yrs of marriage hubby never asked for the stories, I used to get occasional burst of the memories , he comforted me but never ever made me revisit the fact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 01:14 AM
7

Someone’s gotta tell that dude, ‘man, you can’t even do cheating right!’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 08:08 AM
16

So neither rich nor poor is safe from these scrotes! He exploited a naive rich girl to secure his life.. what is the point of leading life with this moral? How do they sleep at night? I can’t imagine the amount of reality check you had to go through just for the sake of having a family! This is extremely sad and lots of hugs and best wishes to you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 06:26 PM
25

The first time I heard it I was struck .. it came from a hobo sexual when I sent him a message saying ‘I miss you,’ he answered , ‘ you should feel grateful I am making time to see you’, I was like … excuse me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 06:23 PM
58

I had a friend, she moved from a village and was extremely talented, beautiful, cultured, but her daddy was a nobody. I could see apparently civilized people becoming predators around her- they just can smell the vulnerability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 03:50 PM
188

Amen! Marrying pretty women then taking her to visit boss is quite common in my previous culture. Most of my pretty friends fell victim to these kind of guys who married them to mask their own social insecurity and to earn social validation. I studied in the top engineering university in my previous country, and found rich daddy’s daughters are the first one to sought after to marry cause then her dad can become the infinite Line of credit, and they open up a lot of upward social networking conn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 12:47 PM
5

Not at all, Queen! you caught my frustration right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 11:31 AM
7

Yes that is my point - my girl friends are in shittiest of marriage because of the kids, I dated two divorced dad and both had erectile dysfunction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 05:13 AM
14

I took a break from dating altogether when I found I was searching the same level of communication spectrum as I had with my hubby, which is not at all reasonable. I can’t live my life with projections, and not being able to see a person for themselves felt like a major injustice, I felt blind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 05:00 AM
4

Yes, this, I actually felt sorry for my mom after becoming a mom myself, my mom was forced to be a mom for the sake of social inclusion, most of my best friends are the neglected child of withdrawn moms-I can spot them- a girl unaware of the usefulness of doing her hair are often a sign of withdrawn mother. I wish people in my previous country have the option of not to have a kid, it is pitied, looked down upon. Most people enter into pregnancy for social validation, political reason to keep the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 12:59 PM
6

The time of pregnancy and the afterwards body recovery while tending to a new born was too much for me. I decided not enter into marriage again for the fear of having to get pregnant again. Me too can’t wait for my menopause.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 12:54 PM
7

Oh my I so miss my pre baby body, I regret not taking a nude of myself for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 11:21 AM
37

I delayed my pregnancy based on how my mother used to look at us, we were subject to pure disgust to her, a hindrance to her workaholic life, she treated us like leeches, we were made to feel guilty of our every basic need - clothe, school supplies, she made us feel guilty of sleep. She was a gynaecologist and I bought my first sanitary pad after she passed away (5yrs after I got my period), she mocked my heavy period, and forced me to use scrap clothes instead of a sanitary pad. So I was raised…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 08:33 AM
35

Your realtor should value you, you should change realtor who doesn’t feel empowering to you. my house is a shoe box, but my realtor was super against of me buying it, I kind of forced her cause the house had other things checked, I can always add or upgrade. She still put her best effort in winning me the offer. She was pushing me to buy a bigger home cause she thought since I am the sole earner in case there is a job loss I can rent out the basement to cover my back. But I did not go for it cau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:15 AM
53

So true, after I became solo parent I had a phase of ‘look how unlucky I am without a husband’ and started comparing me with my married friends and surprisingly found they are pulling all the weight for kids and family alone, practically we all are solo parent and sometimes limited by hubby’s lifestyle choices.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 04:41 AM
29

Few days ago I got in a car accident while driving the car, my dad was in the back seat, the car was hit, my kid was shaken, I got out, sorted the whole thing with the other car, police, insurance, lawyer, body shops, rentals. After 3 days I was talking with my lawyer and he was telling me that he is giving me some basic advice- then it hit me I can never expect that from any of my family members, I did not reach out to my dad for advice even when I was in a car accident with him, I did ask and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 04:36 AM
21

Hugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 04:41 AM
50

I hate how women beat themselves up just because of a phase, 3 kids under 5 yr is overwhelming, she just needs to hang on till they are out of that age 5 phase. We, women are the anchors of each passing phase of life, we are held primarily responsible for young kids, young siblings, old parents, and that takes priority sometimes over our body, career, education, finance and lifestyle. Because we nurture relationships, not kinks. We take it on us so that our loved ones can have it smooth on them.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:03 PM
4

I am always treated like princess/queen in my hubby’s home, even now at work I work closely with two other guys and they treat me the same way, and yes they never mentioned the word princess or queen to me. Those who has the ability to treat you like a princess/queen are often not aware of it at all, and therefore will never rub it on your face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:45 AM
5

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:40 AM
9

And why do we ( the woman in the family) have to always sacrifice for that belongingness? Our self worth, dreams, goals, family ( parents, siblings), friends always be the first to let go to keep that belongingness intact? is the belongingness worth more than me ? sometimes even in a loving relationship? You will know when and where your soul is secured, but even after that at this moment I want to be self involved, cause I can see me improving.. self improvement became so sustainable and addict…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 12:31 AM
33

For me it clicked after reading a book , ‘ CEO of everything’, it’s a personal finance book, but it helped me to see me as a whole person rather than a part of some bigger institution called family( which is culturally only way for a woman to validate her existence). I started making an independent financial backbone for me starting from funeral and backwards. But now it reflects everywhere. I would rather have my own agenda and work towards my personal growth, practice discipline regularly in d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:43 PM
28

Yup no cock blocking in bro code.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:15 PM
12

Thank you so much for taking this brave step and taking us along with your journey ..would highly insist you not to settle for any ‘job’, you will go above and beyond, you got to be larger than life, take one step.. upgrade your credentials and jump to the next step.. keep on building yourself.. so proud of you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 04:05 AM
3

These are such on point.. I wonder what journey you embarked to reach to this realization.. I finally realized after seeing the amazon prime show ‘dietland’.. even if you are 10 out of 10 and surrender to a man he might as well put you on a window of Amsterdam to sell your body, make porn with you, share you with his boss to get promoted or constantly doubt you of leaving/cheating him.. what’s the point? so I started on a heart healthy diet and lifestyle recently and whatever weight comes with t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 03:11 AM
3

I have encountered three real life situations, mine , my parents’ and one of my bestie’s that the dad loves the mom, but takes kids as their competitors so they stop co-operating and become voluntarily reluctant to the kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 02:43 AM
6

This is what I found too, I have super slow metabolism and it takes me to starve and do work out 4hrs a day to be under 130lb .. no way I can do that being a solo parent and having a strenuous job, so gave up on that, I still have all my friends who are definitely girl, and do not regret purging men who treats me on my bang-ability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 01:16 AM
4

He sounds like he has substance abuse problem.. they cannot differentiate between real and unreal.. and these LDR people.. I just ask them what happened to girls in your city.. that seems to shut them off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 01:09 AM
13

Yeah.. there was a new guy in my office whom no one cared.. so I was being nice to him saying hello every time we cross each other in corridors.. few days later he started to ignore me.. I was a bit offended thinking what the wrong did I do..this answered it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 01:05 AM
5

Sigh.. as an unappetizing woman(someone said to me that) I get surprised when someone is nice to me.. I just assume these are pity courtesy..plus being a solo parent and brown in a non brown country people ( men and women) just think they can get away with me by anything, with men.. I gave up... but it hurts so much when I encounter these from women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:58 AM
67

Wow I work with a lot of engineers(civil, structural ) and can vouch for that, I was an architect, and can say architects are by default sociopath, you basically can’t earn unless you are one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:50 AM
1

Wow can’t believe people actually decides to be in such superficial relationships...eyrroll, discussing this with his future father in law... ewww.. I wish the girl dumps him.. our marriage was rushed, so I had no idea what to buy as engagement ring, our parents allocated just one morning to us to get the rings sorted, we decided what to buy on the store , I wanted something simple like plain gold band since engagement ring value really do not add much to my identity, but suddenly saw a beautifu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 12:46 PM
2

Aah it was me while it was just us, me and hubby, he did not grope me though, he tried to be nudist but could not pull it off, we were both cuddly and snuggly by nature, but those touches won’t come down to private parts during the day or if I do not initiate. In our culture multigenerational homes are common, we only lived without parents/parents in law for 3yrs in my 33 yrs of life. I miss those days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 05:08 PM
3

This is a good point ..maybe most of the time they do not even know how to compliment.. since the media, literature only promotes a sex centric message to reach out to more people in a short span of time. Daily life .. which is 80% of our time .. that involves taking care of yourself, your family and your home doesn’t get much validation out there .. so if you do not recognize and learn on your own.. you only live for others..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 02:50 PM
3

Hugs and hugs, it doesn’t sound like you were asking more, you were asking for a home, that’s how home should be like, but that guy needed a playboy mansion!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 02:41 PM
3

I am not even aware of what I was wearing at home while I was with my hubby for 9yrs, I once received a scammer visitor who claimed to be my brother in law’s friend, while leaving she politely mentioned since it is time for my hubby to be back from work I might want to change my attire. I was surprised and later discussed this with hubby- when he heard the part of suggesting me to change my dress.. he was like ‘no way she can ever be friends of me or anyone in my family.. she is a scammer.’ I wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 02:27 PM
38

A few months ago a colleague of mine visited me with his wife, while chatting we figured we landed on the same day in Toronto 3 yrs ago. the wife had a masters degree in computer science, came here after her marriage and still wondering how to enter into the job market and has been trying to find a way for 3(!) years, she spends her day making food and uploading kitten videos. I landed as a solo parent with my kid, still managed to align my qualifications, get a job, buy a car and a home in this…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 04:57 PM
20

wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:32 PM
18

I was reading and felt most of my friends who are visually attractive fell in the trap of these disguised insecured males. These men would like to get social validation by choosing a pretty girl, then isolate her from everything in her life in fear of losing her, the constant fear of keeping her into him turns into control, possession, destruction of her very own self, but hey again though wounded to core she still needs to be pretty and obedient. My friends are awesome human being, talented and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:08 PM
7

Please read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C Gibson
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:11 PM
2

YEAH YEAH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 03:04 PM
8

IKR! After vasectomy they can spread the joy with STD!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 10:12 AM
6

Oh it was never my intention to mutilate your faith in humanity, I did go to therapy after I came across those mindsets, but I also learnt it’s better not to generalize them, you will know between a few dates whether they see family as chores/liability/ leeches sucking his time or money, or a reason to live. My hubby’s family still tells me I am the best thing that has ever happened to him, they treat me as a reason for all his success. I think we share our stories here just to be more aware of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 09:27 AM
87

Oh my ! When I tried dating I met two guys who brought up they are planning to do vasectomy so that these single moms out there can’t pin them for child support, one was a painter, living with his mom, his mom used to cook him food and he always used to say bad stuff about her cooking. Another was a RN, he lived with an old couple in exchange of being their handyman. I wondered whether they may never have seen any better or turn a blind eye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:58 PM
72

Me too bought a home with my own money in a new continent after being a widow for 3 yrs, while during my marriage of 9yrs I was struggling to even keep a job. I got the courage and push after one of my divorced friend bought her own home. I decided not to tie my biggest asset to a relationship status, and never to cohabit with a man, and not to wait anymore to give me and my kid the best possible life. It was a strong statement to my fellow country people who used to burn widows) two hundred yea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:37 PM
8

That’s so Great! Congratulations on the new journey! So proud and happy for you! A safe and secured home can aid so much to your personal growth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:24 PM
6

Yes, this OP, even with everything done perfectly some of us have to start life over and over again. I was feeling so overwhelmed at a point and after getting a decent job thought I had everything, then my career counsellor told me- this is not the end, you will go far and beyond, do not settle for this. I was stripped down to basic few times in my life and had to start from scratches, I am not afraid of that anymore, neither should you, you will get by just fine, you will do just fine as long a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:40 AM
15

Saving it, please never ever delete it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:32 AM
16

Yeah I found some guy do that- they include you to be the cat on whom they can kick away all their frustrations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:34 AM
20

Yeah and I loved to do kinky things but they feel threatened at the same time while I act like that thinking maybe I will take this immense drive to somewhere else ..maybe it’s no match for him. So many contradictions in their mind ..they need to know what they wish for though. It takes a lot of courage and time for me to open up my kinky self to someone but the moment I do it I can see slut shame in their eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:32 AM
10

Even with a happy marriage... I completely agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:30 AM
10

Yup got it! My grocery tours in deep v necks 😇
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 12:56 PM
17

Thirst trap? What is that? Would like to know more. Yeah settling on a career or education path to be with your man also needs to be considered, a person who loves you will aid to your personal growth not hinder it, he will see your success as a combined success. I have seen a friend (male) driving 2hrs each way to baby sit his sister’s kid if she could not find childcare, she was a magistrate. Your dear ones will never be threatened by your achievements.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:28 AM
8

I wonder what you have been through! Sorry and hugs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:14 AM
8

Men, left single become so creepy and gross!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:09 PM
43

Wow, I remember the first time I left my toothbrush in hubby’s home before marriage, I came back later and found he hand made a toothbrush holder for me. It was made out of craft paper so did not last long, but it felt really special!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:07 PM
35

Lol he probably reached to the conclusion that you guys are lesbians to soothe his twisted soul .. yup had that yelled at me from behind
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:21 PM
56

Guys like to think women get jealous at each other .. I had few incidents where the guy lured jealousy towards other women in the hope to see a two girls doing mud fight over him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:27 AM
2

Welcome to the real world.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 07:42 AM
11

Or human? There was a discussion going on purple pill debate about experiencing true love in women by an average guy, and by women they were only referring to hot girls and was rating them, I went through the top comments and it felt like they think if they date down that’s because we, the unattractive ones need to up our games to be worthy of their attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 07:22 AM
2

Lol or needs to practice speaking English like me :p
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:10 AM
10

The team met before snowboarding like pick people up, and later they used to have elaborate dinner at a music and dine venue. I actually liked that meet up though, I found a solo dad was arranging the meet up cause his kid(18+ yrs that time) was into snowboarding, so he was looking for more people to have a quality time with his kid and also increase their network of like minded people. They also had a basketball group meet up where some of the snowboarding people frequented cause they felt so w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:00 AM
1

Hugs and lots of love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:55 PM
2

No, I literally slept with guys to have a meaningful conversation, so the pickmeisha Queen crown is mine! Btw I have referred’adult children of Emotionally immature parents’ few times in this sub, maybe that can give you some closure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:45 PM
1

Well talking about kids and spouses are the only small talk topic in some culture. I remember there was a robot called Sophia who came to visit my country and all the questions centered around her kids and husband, cause that’s what public wants to hear 🤷‍♀️.Once I went to a country and found women were sharing their breastfeeding(how their babies pulled their nipples), hubby’s strength in bed.. I was so ewww, but whatever works, keep talking kids and spouse!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:31 PM
6

This! I focus on finding HVW cause they lift my soul up and I can do the same without any doubt. I also look after all the broken women souls in my workplace and little by little trying to inject FDS value so that they can see them with their own eyes, not the eyes of a patriarchal male society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:28 PM
17

In my first snow boarding meet up I was talking with a guy and he told me his best meet up was salsa, he particularly joined there so he can touch so many girls... so gross !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:07 PM
3

I feel finding peace in solitude is a gift and it takes time and patience. I gave up on retaining any relationship for the sake of feeling my void times/hang out, cause no matter how strong we are, we formulate an image of ourselves that is being reflected by our friends. I only retained friends with whom I never have to explain a single thing, have the same values, they understand me more than I do, they can foresee a lot of things that I can’t, they know what to say at the right time, and most…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 10:59 PM
35

In all my university and college life I have found guys choose girls that can raise their status among their peers, be it her or her dad’s money, rich dad-in-law will be his LOC(line of credit), I found girls with strong economic and social family background has higher chance of scoring good guys cause the guy will be always on his toes to keep the LOC open, if no background then they go after pretty ones cause people always remember a guy with pretty GF/wives. I was a nerdy one in my university…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 10:45 PM
3

I asked one LVM who puts no effort in his family that why can’t he just get his ass up and be actively involved in his kids’ life, help wifey, plan something.. he was like I never seen men doing these things.. not my father, grandfather, I was like why can’t you start the trend then.. he was like well kids are growing up, having extra curricular, things are well organized even if I don’t do it so why bother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 12:40 AM
9

It’s all on how you look at the kid. I delayed my pregnancy because of my parents’ attitude towards us, we were always a hurdle or liability, so thought being pregnant means my life is over. But after being a mom I regretted not having a baby sooner, I am a bear momma and my kid is my biggest inspiration also a great team mate. We have been through so much, came so far together! I just wish my parents were self aware enough not to have kids or maybe they wanted to avoid social stigma of not havi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 12:32 AM
28

even if you have kids with a LVM and continue to stay with them because kids need a parent in case you pass away/fall ill, then well.. LVMs will never be the parent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 03:17 PM
31

Oh now I got it why George Clooney was referring ‘Hollaback girl’as something that he imagined to be addressed to construction workers in carpool karaoke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 11:25 PM
29

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the courage and strength in each step forward! When I was pretty little 10/11 yrs I made a derogatory comment on sexworkers and my mom immediately stopped and yelled at me saying ‘you are saying this safely in your home cause she is out there taking it all for you’. I would highly suggest talking to a career counsellor even if that means you have to pay. Colleges with co-op opportunities and short course in your area would be highly helpful to overcome yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:37 PM
5

🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 07:29 PM
11

In ‘good girl revolt’ tv show there was a message of women wanting equal pay and job responsibilities, there was a group of young hot journalist, a lawyer was grooming them, and they were like ..why us, why aren’t you choosing some other sections of society with more in depth problems to make this statement, and the lawyer said that’s how the human psychology works, if you look pretty, smart, people will notice what you say, so any stories related to pretty looking girls would reach more people.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 05:08 PM
11

men shares ..not only with his buddies but with his ex colleagues, current colleagues .. it’s like look at the burger I am biting now, we are not human for them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:10 PM
38

Any brown girl in a non brown country is deemed to be fuck and toss material. That’s why we have to fake high maintenance till we are high maintenance. I dated a white guy(whose education did not go beyond high school), who never dated a white girl, after a few dates I found he only brings his white supremacy in the relationship, since people of his own race are so over this, he finds naive brown/yellow/black/olive/mixed ones to rub off his whiteness on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:08 PM
41

Also if you are a white girl and dating a brown guy, DO NOT fall in love with him, 99.99999999999% brown guys see white girls as ‘fuckme’, they simply do not have the backbones to go against their culture and religion to include someone egalitarian. They will use you for their need, they are extremely good at pursuing and love bombing, showing affection, but no matter how much educated they are, how stable they seem you will always be a foster till their parents find the proper victim back in co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 02:57 PM
25

Yes, yes, and yes, it took me a while to get how all the aloofness were so calculative and convenient for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 02:41 PM
71

Oh gosh! I dodged a bullet once at the beginning of my solo mom date days! Reddit saved me that night, my hobo sexual would be bf just created a delusional crisis and shifted all his stuff in my 400sqft apartment where I was living with my student grant. My kid was super sick that night and all he asked about my kid is ‘did he puke on the blanket and pillow I will be sleeping on?’, I just did not want to throw him on street in the middle of the night so asked Reddit for opinion, and all the peop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 02:13 PM
9

So true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:48 PM
35

Yes, and most often a hvm is made by the community and the family, they are trained to be responsible for their action from an early on, they are patterned to be invested cause someone invested in them too. My hubby passed away three years ago and I moved to a different continent, but not a tempo has dropped between me and his close family and friends, they are still my cheerleaders, my fall back options, they look after my dad who lives alone whenever he is in the country without me initiating …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:40 PM
3

Oh wow! I take the hint when a guy brings the bed in conversation without any prompting, it usually means it is going to be a sad sad bedtime play for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 09:51 AM
1

wow you deserve a gold!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 08:26 PM
11

Yup this would apply to their dick as well.. don’t get too happy to see a big dick.. or let them know that..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:24 AM
6

Any trigger mainly draws its reason from one incident, I was having series of anxiety attack which lasted 7-8 hr after 1 incident, everything was triggering me and I stopped going out altogether, my psychologist then told me, the first time he did it, it was his fault to hurt you, but every time you revisit the trauma it is you who is hurting you, not him anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:03 AM
28

Then who will do the work anyway? I do not see many man taking the responsibilities at work too, while I have seen 90% women performing excellence at work, I can only expect a somewhat responsible attitude from 10% men, we purposefully excluded boys from any group work in university, I thought it was problem with my third world country men, but now I work in construction in a ‘non pink’ sector in a first world country, even here found women greasing their elbow, not many men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:28 PM
21

Hence the Fort!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:21 PM
30

Spot on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 08:09 PM
17

One of my friend is currently in a relationship with a narc and your post echoes with her situation so much, I get scared if I don’t hear back from her fearing he might have killed her. Congratulations on your step towards bravery.. not everyone can do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:02 PM
18

Thank you for sharing this and THANKS GOD you are out of it( or at least I am hoping you are in the process). When abuse happens most of us aren’t even aware of them, it’s just a tingle feeling of something uncomfortable, I hope and wish to see more post like this which can make us, the naive ones aware of the red flags. Thanks again and I hope you and your daughter are in a safe place in life right now. Hugs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:00 PM
3

I hear you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:27 PM
19

Umm.. Most men will openly announce he is not gonna co operate with your journey towards education and career, they are threatened by your success, and will make sure you know it. The other most men will say socially that they facilitate your growth cause it’s nice to have a partner with good career profile, but zero co operation at home and will create immense drama before any of your major career milestones. They only say they are gonna support you so they can hold you hostage for your dreams.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:40 AM
19

Aah the negative thing... I wish we could have a post on what men say about their ex wives..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:08 PM
33

In my previous country I found men to be extremely mean to woman who are not sexually appetizing ( ! Yes they say that out loudly), women are not even considered human if they are not fuckme category..there is a saying ‘it’s is better to eat dessert together than to eat shit alone.’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:05 PM
67

So true, I met a man who really had my brain churning, he was wise and authentic, we hit up nice conversation and obviously the dating proposal came, I firmly said again and again that I want to be his friend not date him since his lifestyle and age doesn’t match with mine, but no he would only talk if there’s sex on the table , I tried to see pass that but when every conversation steered towards sex talk..so gross that I gave up on him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:02 PM
47

What a twisted mentality! They get instantly jealous and then blame women for being jealous! I remember the first time I encountered harassment by my classmates my li’l brother was there with me, he got aggressive with them and said to me ‘never let it get to you, they are only doing it cause you are better than them’, I brushed it off thinking my brother has some superior complexity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:07 PM
86

Wow! She blew my every vein! It answered all ...it answered all my confusions of why my male classmates were so mean to me without ever initiating any conversation with me! They used to throw random bully lines.. ‘you think you’re so smart’..and while my female friends used to tell me ‘You don’t think you are so smart, you ARE that smart’ ..Those strangers in diners who randomly starts conversation only to insult me on the second line..wow did not know it was all part of their compliments- that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 01:44 PM
30

Reason she couldn’t prioritize self care.. If tied to a LVM ... she is exhausted with a man-child or a partner who refuses to pull their weight in their relationship, family, finance, assets. In all other cases.. she doesn’t give a fuck tra la la la!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 12:27 AM
28

Aah and I want a room for my clothes and shoes too, not a closet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:09 PM
4

Yes! I loved that song in La La Land, ‘here’s to the fools who dream’, it was about her 😎cool and fool aunt :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:33 AM
114

Lol maybe she started the permutations and combinations of possible scenarios in her head that led you to this ‘disastrous fate’, hence the smile. I am glad that she did not ask you about your husband, maybe if she was Bengali she’d definitely do.. I am a Bengali women and can’t avoid to face this ‘where is your husband and kid’ conversation, happens in the first 5 minutes of meeting a complete stranger(Bengali). And in the absence of hubby and kids it becomes everyone’s duty to fix a home for m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:24 AM
19

Yeah there was a sex and the city episode on how Carrie goes to movie by herself, she used to buy two tickets though, one for her coat, purse and to keep creeps at distance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 06:01 PM
1

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 05:05 PM
5

I tried to DM you but could not, I am not comfortable sharing names in public, could you DM me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:59 PM
19

Yes we came to know of that only after she started dating ..that she used to receive occasional dreamy texts from him while he was working in a dreamy location like Ladakh building dreamy schools for local kids as a part of dreamy architectural projects. Breadcrumbs.. wow..did not know there was a name for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:27 PM
3

🤦‍♀️ I wish I knew this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 02:21 PM
34

Hugs and hugs. I realized all the things we discuss here can be boiled down to parents who failed to nurture humane values in their kids- be it pick me or scrotes. And whenever I try to break the pattern I chose the people with same characteristics as my parents. I would love to suggest ‘Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents’ by Lindsay C.Gibson to be at peace with yourself and most importantly heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 12:26 PM
59

1. So true 4. So true One of my friend had a hardcore crush on our university teacher, he was married at that time and she could not do anything about it. He was everything dreamy and HVM you could think of a person not only male. We tried to talk her out of it but instead she developed paranoid schizophrenia thinking the world is against her. She went to rehab because of all the contradictions that was happening in her mind. After two years when my friend just started to get back on track with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 11:32 AM
23

One of my colleagues was raised by her single mom, she is in her sixties and single as well..upon sharing our journey she is insisting me on buying flower for me, she buys herself a nice bouquet every week and sends me a picture of it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 11:07 AM
37

I added heated mattress pad and heated blanket to keep me warm at night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 11:02 AM
12

I used to think I am ugly during my teens, but later that became my greatest strength in filtering people, now at 33, I do feel being ugly did me more good than bad- all my friends and relationships are solid- they came here not to be in the league with beautiful/charismatic person but for me, they love me, and they stayed through thick and thin, they know exactly what to do or say when my world shatters.. I can hold conversation about the things I truly value rather than some superficial stuff.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 10:45 AM
87

One of my HVM friend’s mom accused his wife being a gold digger, I asked my friend how does he feel about it, he lightly replied ‘I told my mom, if she(wife) was not in my life, I would stay in bed all day never earning a dime, then you(mom) would call me a lazy bum’.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:29 PM
48

It makes me sad, I have seen especially in lower middle class section of my previous country that the women will work 12-16 hrs as house maids, garments workers to support the family where the non earning husbands blow away her money with gambling, drugs, alcohols. In educated households too one friend used to work while her hubby used to sit around smoking meth. Here I was talking with my baby sitter the other day and she told me her mom came to Canada with 3kid only to find out her dad who cam…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:14 PM
46

This is more to do with self awareness which they both lack.. if a man wants to start a family and do not want to face the consequences his partner will endure on her body bringing his child in this world- then he is not ready to start a family, and should keep on mutilating the faith of humanity by hopping pre baby girls. If a women thinks apart from recovering from the childbirth, producing milk (women need 3500 calorie a day to produce enough breast milk for an infant), and focusing on newbor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:55 AM
16

Hahaha yeah I had a flash image of my dad..my brother...my supervisor..my manager..some of my colleagues...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:16 AM
47

most men will do this till they think time is running out, I met a guy ..he was 60 and totally ready to bring marriage proposal to me, he was married till 55 but had side chicks all his life. After his kids have grown up, his wife finally left him. He figured his one feet is in grave and only then started to bring commitment forward. I asked him what he was thinking while having the side chicks, did he have any vision of marrying them, and he was like ‘well they never said to me they want to get…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:05 PM
14

0) chose a shitty best (!) friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 06:54 PM
50

Wow! My li’l brother’s best friend used to do this to him, he used to have affair with every GF my brother had, later badmouthing about my brother, it costed my brother so much depression and in the end his life. Some people are so twisted that I cannot but feel sorry about them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 06:48 PM
2

Happy Birthday! Wish you all the love and strength that you can accumulate from within.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 04:30 PM
72

Only mother’s? The economy of a country is established by breaking women’s back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:51 PM
149

Oh my this is so true, I like to date men who are few years older than me, and who have been single for a while, and also have seen my dad after him being a widower, the moment the woman is not in their life -all the decency and grace is gone, dirty stinky home, acts like a dickhead, they do not know how to project a personality, they have some set roles and they play them out like ‘office roles’, ‘husband roles’, ‘friend roles’, ‘dad roles’ -they do not have any personality outside those clearl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 05:00 PM
10

Thank you, anyone deserves better than this, sad part is most girl there doesn’t even realize. And I do need a friend, thank you for the sweet gesture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 12:34 AM
31

Well it’s the price you pay for being included, Bangladeshi, Indian culture is extremely exclusive in nature, you have to have a husband and at least two kids to be considered human there. They used to burn widows alive with their hubby’s dead body even 100 yrs ago. I knew a few BD girls who took the courage to divorce their hubby only to marry them again few years later because of the shame they receive from the society. Others leave the country as soon as they can afford. I literally fled with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:40 PM
11

I like that Queen quote, ‘do you really want this 70 kilo thing on your chest?’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:34 PM
28

I do not think they would project the same expectations to someone who is not South Asian. Families that allow their boys to marry out of their country would be considerably open minded. But I would verify any Indian dude’s intention, background, education, career if they choose a white girl though, most just like to score as many white fuck as they can, they share around the girl’s photos with zero emotion like ‘see what I fuck last night, how many I fucked’, I used to fuck an Indian guy and he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:31 PM
22

Lol fellow Bangladeshi here, 90% boy’s family will say ‘we do not want dowry ‘ but after marriage they will shame the bride saying, ‘what kind of parents can send their girl empty handed!’, my dad was super anxious about my marriage cause even if they do not ask dowry, they expect dowry ( I didn’t give dowry though, lucked out in in-laws). My bestie brought the expected amount of gold and other expected goodies, even after that she faces harassment cause the gold was not from the shop her hubby’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:29 PM
12

My SIL told me it started after irrigation, when people started having definite property and, to control property division the idea of bloodline came and, to control bloodline the idea of marriage came. I loved being married because of my hubby’s family, they were and still are my cheerleaders, even 3 years after my hubby’s death. My parents were really doubtful of me and always made sure I know I was a wasted investment for them. But hubby’s family accepted me unconditionally, they facilitated …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 08:09 PM
16

Lol this reminded me of my tutor, he was brilliant and at that time used to study in a reputable institution, now runs his own private school, after breaking up with his girlfriend(who had a rich daddy) he was more upset that he could not scoop away few hundred thousands bucks from his gf like all his other friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 07:50 PM
40

Yes religiously the girl has no right on parent’s property there after marriage, so parents would like to gift away as much as they can, so the grooms’ family take full advantage of that, no matter how much is the giveaway, the girls will still gets harassed in in-laws’ family cause she can never meet their expectations with goodies. It spilled to other religion there since all were part of Hindu religion there hundreds of years ago and it became a part of custom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 06:50 PM
65

After passing this checklist the guy’s family will ask for dowry to girls’ parents i.e. car, money, property, washing machine, microwave.. whatever they can bag https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.shethepeople.tv/top-stories/opinion/dowry-deaths-reality-in-india-but-until-when/amp/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 06:18 PM
2

This is so true, I think a level of self awareness and communication skill is necessary to handle the territories of mind, and an intention to value a long term friendship, ability to retain relationships be it in friendship or in any other forms..which takes courage and bravery too. I am really trying to understand your thoughts here..cause I am afraid to put my most personal things at stake like assets, kids, finance, career and education for relationships but that does not mean that I have to…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 12:09 PM
1

Wow I thought when men say marriage they mean dating, when they say dating they mean FWB, when men say FWB that means hook up, when they say hook up it’s time to run, did not know FWB comes with such lucrative package!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 11:34 AM
8

And the moment they secure your attention they become so entitled and start to demand you mommy them cause all the previous girls before you have damaged their self esteem... Edit: and then starts to show their true personal color when you realize it’s their emotional/psychological ugliness/nastiness which is superseding their physical attributes here..the reason sorority left/fled. Oh some will start punishing you on behalf of the past encounters too, you will get slammed again and again for pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 05:02 PM
2

It’s like with everything, it feels they just sold their soul on the street, I am an immigrant myself and found the same thing with new immigrants too- my bestie calls it adjustment disorder but I think it’s something else, they choose to let go of all the integrity, sincerity and honesty on the first blow on their identity, all becomes opportunistic hoppers, we need to test our integrity against all odds..not let go of it. People with solid personality and enough self awareness cannot bring the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 06:05 AM
5

Hugs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:35 PM
7

I highly suggest the book ‘Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents’ by Lindsay C.Gibson , this will help to understand what goes in their mind and most importantly not to fall a victim of this relationship pattern again since we are raised to fit the pattern.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:20 PM
116

It’s about personal standard, I had a friend (girl), when she first started dating her hubby, she wasn’t sure, upon mentioning he was like ‘if you are not dating with marriage in your mind, then I am sorry but I can’t waste my time here’, so she had to quickly decide if she wants to proceed with this guy or not. They got married two years later, and I realized it wasn’t a bad decision on her when the guy left his Harvard fellowship just at the first sign of my friend’s depression, he was like ‘I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:08 PM
5

I was wondering why I felt so familiar with this scenario, then remembered I used to arrange picnic dinner with a craft activity with my kid when he was in pre school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:54 AM
29

Wow you were/are so detailed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:45 AM
1

It depends on how you look at your child, I became a widow after my kid was born, and being solo- for my kid and with my kid I have achieved a lot of thing that I could not even imagine for myself. The surgeon/doc’s example kind of feels like an impulsive decision, my mom was a doctor and she had nannies and my dad, even after that she was burn out. Solo mom needs to cut back, understand her energy cause kids need time with mom, if you think time with your kid equals sacrifice in the career scen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:25 PM
2

True, there will be an ongoing guilt for sure on what kind of world/economy we will leave our kids to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:01 PM
3

Me too 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 11:27 PM
2

Yup only after being a mom I realized I was being mom to the rest of the world, sorry world!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 05:50 PM
2

I only came across this mindset after moving to my new country. In previous city, guys I have grown up with had hearts of gold, most waited till they find a girl who is ready to commit saying their heart is not for playing, they focused on building a life together the moment they got their girl rather than shopping for better option. I was a bit surprised seeing how the dating pool act in my new city and started to wonder if something was wrong in my expectations, but looks like a whole generati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:42 PM
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