koolaid-girl-40 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
158	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own?	General	koolaid-girl-40	/r/MensRights	30/01/21 07:19 PM
75	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave?	Marriage/Children	koolaid-girl-40	/r/MensRights	28/10/21 08:03 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? Parents who don't want to have kids shouldn't be bribed into doing so, and those who choose to have kids aren't doing so out of some sense of duty to society. It is an individual choice and should be treated as such by the government. They might see it as an individual choice, but it's a choice that effects their entire community whether they like to acknowledge that or not. I think capitalism is amazing, but it can't secure prosperity all on its own. And more importantly I just think that labor…	/r/MensRights	01/11/21 06:11 PM
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? Yes your taxes would reward the firefighter themselves, but not their parents who engaged in a bunch of free labor (aka parenting) in order to raise them and make it so that you have young firefighters in your town in the first place. All I'm saying is that parenting is a form of labor (pretty strenuous labor at that), and just like any labor it deserves to be compensated by the people who reap the rewards of that labor. If I enjoy the benefits of young people existing in my society, then I feel…	/r/MensRights	01/11/21 05:49 PM
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? The labor and innovation your promise will be provided is something that will be paid for through consumption. Could you elaborate on this? Suppose someone decides to become a parent and sacrifices their labor and income in order to raise that child. Their child ends up becoming a firefighter and replaces one of the older firefighters that can't physically do the job anymore. Everyone in the town benefits from there being a younger firefighter on the force and he saves many people. How is that p…	/r/MensRights	01/11/21 05:22 PM
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? But it is no more my duty to make that easy for them than it would their duty to make buying a house easier for me. I get that, but I think the difference is that you deciding not to a buy a house doesn't jeopardize the future of our society. Neither does one person deciding not to have kids. But everyone deciding not to have kids? That would change things for sure. Like I said children are an important part of keeping our society going. They are a social good in a way, not a private good (like …	/r/MensRights	01/11/21 03:37 PM
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? I think it's an odd stance to take that young people are a net neutral on society. If people stopped having kids today, societies would 100% crumble into nothing. So despite the crime and such, they are extremely important. And right now parents (aka the people that decide to take on the chore of bearing and raising the next generation) aren't rewarded by the free market at all despite parenting being one of the most arduous, stressful, and time-consuming jobs in existence. If done properly, par…	/r/MensRights	31/10/21 08:11 PM
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? If they want a family, they should bear those costs, not me. I guess this comes down to the type of society you want to live in. I'm of the mindset that the most natural way to live, the most successful, is the way that the earliest humans did and some still do. In tribes that took care of eachother. In a tribe, the village raises the child. Everyone takes care of each other in some way by contributing to the larger whole. The idea of a nuclear family (one where only the parents are responsible …	/r/MensRights	30/10/21 06:44 PM
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? This is an interesting policy perspective, but I guess my concern is, wouldn't this essentially make Parenthood something that only the minority of well-off could part take in in a healthy way? For example right now in the u.s it is exactly as you've described. Employers can choose whether to offer paid leave. Some do, but many don't and many only offer maternity leave but nothing to fathers. The employers that do tend to be larger companies since small businesses have a hard time affording it. …	/r/MensRights	30/10/21 03:02 PM
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? Oh I see, thank you for the explanation!	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 03:33 PM
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? Could you expand a little on how having a family is only for people who are better off? What do you mean that people are locked out of the workforce? Here in the u.s there is no guaranteed parental leave. Only the best companies offer it, so if you don't work at one of those companies, then you don't get it. Everyone else is still allowed to have children of course, but they don't get to have any help from their employer or the government.	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 11:52 AM
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? That sounds so amazing! Currently in the U.S neither the mother or father is entitled to parental leave. Some employers offer it but they don't have to. What country do you live in that you have so much parental leave?	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 11:48 AM
2	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? I don't think that's true. People in other countries can afford way more things than the average American. They can afford college, vacations around the world, childcare, etc. The average American can't do that, so our wages are worth less than a lot of places that do have things like parental leave.	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 05:25 AM
2	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? I think the idea is that parents are picking up the slack too. We need young people for things like social security, labor intensive jobs, innovation, etc. A society without kids and young people would not function, so parents do a huge service to society by deciding to raise kids. The problem is, having kids is a huge personal sacrifice. It takes a lot of time, stress, and money so there isn't really an incentive to do it. That's why less and less people are deciding to have kids. So parental l…	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 05:23 AM
2	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? Where do you think it comes from in other countries? Right now the u.s. is one of the only countries that doesn't have paid parental leave.	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 04:03 AM
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? This sounds great! Where I live (the u.s.) we don't get any paid leave. Some companies offer maternity leave, but it's not required.	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 02:38 AM
3	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? Buttegieg aside, do you believe fathers in general should be entitled to parental leave? Or do you think it should stay the way it is now where most companies only offer maternity leave or nothing at all?	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 02:14 AM
3	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? You want me to give you the names of the conservatives in my life who supported Bernie Sanders? Lol I'm gonna have to decline that request, but here is an article talking about how many Republicans supported Bernie in previous elections: https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/11/the-lifelong-conservatives-who-love-bernie-sanders/417441/ But to be honest, this whole thread seems to be getting farther and farther from the topic at hand, which is paternity leave. My question was centered…	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 02:09 AM
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? A lot of people on the right said they would vote for Sanders lol. Populism isn't limited to left-wing philosophies. And I guess it's fair to say that Joe Rogan isn't the best right-wing representative, but he does agree with right-wing guests and people on a lot of issues. But it's not all issues, so I guess he's more of an independent with a right streak once in a while. Either way though, would you say that people on the right are supportive of paid paternity leave for all men regardless of e…	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 01:39 AM
4	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? I would definitely consider Joe Rogan and Tucker Carlson as right-wing, but if you don't then I guess this post doesn't apply!	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 01:15 AM
2	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? Joe Rogan when asked about his thoughts on Buttegieg: "Isn't that supposed to be for the person who gave birth?" ...Do men take paternity leave? This idea that both parents should get maternity and paternity leave at the same time is a little weird." Tucker Carlson: "Pete Buttigieg has been on leave from his job since August after adopting a child. Paternity leave, they call it, trying to figure out how to breastfeed. No word on how that went." (As if the only reason maternity leave exists is to…	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 01:02 AM
5	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? He didn't take 6 months off. He took 2 months off, during which time he found a qualified temporary replacement and still made himself available for conference calls and important decisions. But as I mentioned in the post, I can understand why people would have an issue with this specific circumstance. What I don't understand is the stance that right-wing media has been taking this month on paternity leave in general. I've heard a lot of pundits shaming and demeaning men who take paternity leave…	/r/MensRights	29/10/21 12:44 AM
3	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? I'm not sure if I agree with Chris on that, or at least that hasn't been my experience in life. But either way, I think that the people who think a man's value is tied to how much money he can provide are plain wrong. Think about some of the men we praise throughout history...Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Thomas Jefferson, Davinci, Plato, etc...none of them are revered for how much money they made. It's the beauty, truth, and love they brought into the world.	/r/MensRights	28/10/21 09:49 PM
4	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? Idk, everyone I've heard (Tucker Carlson, Joe Rogan, and others) seems to think that a guy taking paternity leave in general is weird. And a bunch of people on Twitter and Tik Tok were saying things like "what would a guy even do on leave?" and stuff like that. I get people's issues with a federal position, but in general? I don't understand the issue people have with it.	/r/MensRights	28/10/21 09:44 PM
10	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? But some women can't have kids. And both men and women are primary providers nowadays and work full-time. So idk, there's gotta be more to a human being's value than that... And I would totally marry a guy who wanted to be a stay at home dad. My dad was amazing. He wasn't the best at making money, but he took a very active role in my upbringing and was the main person I came to when I needed emotional support. He was affectionate, thoughtful, kind, and listened to me. The difference that made in…	/r/MensRights	28/10/21 09:14 PM
29	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? Wow, way to shame someone for taking an active role in their child's life! Sorry you had to deal with that	/r/MensRights	28/10/21 09:09 PM
1	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? Do you think that's good? Or would you prefer that men be legally and culturally empowered to take as much of a role in their child's life as women? (I guess right now neither is really happening, we don't have maternity leave or paternity leave lol, but if we did).	/r/MensRights	28/10/21 08:27 PM
11	How do ya'll feel about paternity leave? Why is a man's value in his ability to work and provide? If a man can't do those things, does he no longer have value? There are so many other ways that people can help their families, society, and the world other than by making money. Especially since that's something that anybody can do these days.	/r/MensRights	28/10/21 08:24 PM
1	On Patriarchy Ohhh you live in Canada that makes sense. I think it's worse in the U.S. because we don't have parental leave. So since women in large part are still the primary caregivers, once they become mothers they often have to sacrifice their career to take care of them, and the longer you're out of the workforce the harder it is to catch up salary-wise so many are never able to make as much as men again. I have heard that in Canada there are a lot more family-friendly policies so it's not surprising tha…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	29/06/21 03:29 PM
2	On Patriarchy All good points! I've wondered whether designing video games that teach core subjects will be the future of education. Like imagine if instead of getting homework, your teacher said that you have to reach level 5 of "Geometry Wars" or something by Friday lol. That would probably be more stimulating and also make use of the suggestion to bring some competitiveness into schoolwork.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/06/21 09:40 PM
1	On Patriarchy Totally see your point about the career choices. It's really a shame how little priority is given to certain mechanical or trades-focused electives. Integrating that back into education is probably a great place to start. And in terms of the nerd stereotypes, that's kind of where I was going with that. Nerds (or people good at school) have traditionally been made to feel less masculine or worthy of respect from traditionally masculine guys (hence the football player vs the nerd trope in movies).…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/06/21 06:01 PM
0	On Patriarchy Fair point, but if you look at some of the other reasons men are underperforming it seems like the pattern is rooted in the way schools have always been designed, along with a perception among boys that being good at school is feminine (aka negative). There's a lot of evidence for this especially among lower income populations and teachers have been remarking on how women applied themselves more back in the 1600s when there wasn't a preference towards women at all. So if we started addressing so…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/06/21 01:51 PM
1	On Patriarchy Yes most homeless people are men, (I think 67%?) but most people living under the poverty line are women. So as a whole women have less wealth. But it's fair to say that among those that experience the most extreme poverty (homelessness) that's men. But we were talking about wealth as it relates to institutional power.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/06/21 01:27 PM
1	On Patriarchy Fair point, that wealth gender inequality varies across populations. That said, I guess what I'm saying is why not try to address all these issues simultaneously rather than play the blame game? A lot of the solutions aimed at helping one group often help another group. For example women fighting to join the armed forces and to have the draft applied to women too has put less pressure on men to have to shoulder the burden of protecting the country, likewise women fighting for more economic oppor…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/06/21 02:11 AM
1	On Patriarchy Ohhh I see what you're saying now. But how does that explain why women have less wealth among non-rich populations? Is the ruling class biased against women or something?	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/06/21 02:04 AM
1	On Patriarchy So that's a great point and from what I understand many stats do take that into account, which is why married women are statistically wealthier than single women, especially mothers. Mothers typically have the least wealth, but when they are married they are typically better off because of those joint finances.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/06/21 01:47 AM
1	On Patriarchy No I'm saying that most statistics show that men have significantly more wealth, at least in my country. So I was asking what sources you're looking at that show it as 50/50? Like maybe I haven't seen some of those articles or studies.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/06/21 01:21 AM
3	On Patriarchy Ever since I learned about the "availability heuristic" I personally try to make an effort to base my understanding of what is going on in the world on the facts and statistics that we have access to, not what i personally witness in my own life (since this can be really different than what most people experience). Plus having wealth and flaunting wealth are different things. Interestingly, those who flaunt wealth often have less than those who actually have wealth, which is why you often see pe…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/06/21 01:15 AM
1	On Patriarchy Would you mind citing your source that women have at least half of the wealth? I was under the understanding that men own significantly more wealth but I could be wrong.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/06/21 12:48 AM
-3	On Patriarchy I've always considered it as it relates to institutional power. I know of three sources of power: economic power (the resources to enact your will), political power (having the power to make decisions about laws and policies) and cultural power (having the power to influence people's perspectives through media, news, etc). It sounds like you're saying that women to have some cultural power that men don't, such as the power to influence children's perspectives through the education system. But wo…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/06/21 12:46 AM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? In health care, federal research funding on women's health issues is 2 to 3 times as much as funding on men's health issues. Even though women already live 6 to 7 years longer than men. So whose health issues should get more priority, attention and money? You answer that. This is an important disparity, I'm glad you brought it up. Logistically speaking, I'm somewhat at a loss for how to change this other than encourage men to start more nonprofits aimed at fighting prostate cancer, since many of…	/r/MensRights	18/02/21 05:15 AM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thank you for that encouragement SugarLemonLife! I totally agree and am reassured with comments like yours that many of us are on the same page. I appreciate this movement and its contributions as well! I couldn't agree more that empathy for each other's experiences and suffering is the best way to move forward.	/r/MensRights	18/02/21 04:55 AM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Why not call yourself something different then so it's not so ambiguous? This is a very fair critique of feminism. While it began during a time when women were advocating for their rights (so the name made sense at the time), nowadays I think that another name that is more inclusive would be a great idea. That, or it keep its name but be more vocal that pro-women does not mean anti-men, and openly partner with men's groups more often to achieve policies that help us both. In general, it seems li…	/r/MensRights	18/02/21 04:52 AM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? From my experience, feminists have been by far the least willing people to show a genuine interest in men's issues. I'm wondering if maybe there just isn't a lot of media coverage about the ways that feminists and feminist organizations have tried to fight against discrimination against men? Because I know of so many examples that it almost shocks me that people think that a majority of feminists don't care about men's issues. Maybe it's just what country we live in, but feminists in the U.S. ha…	/r/MensRights	13/02/21 07:51 PM
0	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? That's a pathetic way to apologize for framing me as someone else. I legitimately was unable to see the rest of our thread. Reddit only lets me see the latest message I'm responding to and I was only able to track down our entire thread after trying for like 20 minutes to find our conversation in my original post. If you know how to look at a past thread when responding by all means relay that information. I briefly thought that you might not be a robotic ideological zealot, but I was wrong. You…	/r/MensRights	12/02/21 08:09 PM
0	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? You have every right to disagree with my opinions, but please don't accuse me of lying. I specifically included two links about the murders I was talking about to show that I wasn't just making things up. Also I have not been trying to "shut you down." I used the words "I feel" to demonstrate that this is how I was interpreting your language, rather than say "you're doing this" point blank since that assumes that I just have ultimate knowledge and discredits your own experience. I'm sorry though…	/r/MensRights	12/02/21 04:20 PM
0	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? So, what do you have to say about the fact that the prominent influential feminist who said that retains her institutional power and remains un-rebuked by feminists? I would say that this isn't entirely true. This was written by Suzanna Walters in an op-ed, and while she did keep her job as a professor under the premise of free speech (a lot of professors no matter their stance have been able to keep their jobs even when they say hateful/controversial things, epsecially if they have tenure) she …	/r/MensRights	12/02/21 05:58 AM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Your kid is truly your decision and all that, but the consequences of that kid existing are YOURS to bear, alone. I feel like you're forgetting that women aren't the only people that decide to be parents. Childs don't just have mothers, they have fathers too. Men are choosing to have kids and families too, but aren't currently on average contributing their fair share to the responsibilities of raising them, for a variety of reasons (some of which we've established aren't men's fault). If both a …	/r/MensRights	09/02/21 03:58 PM
0	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Men dont tend to disappear from their job once babies come. Women do. Men dont go off work early / come late because babies. Women do. Men dont drag a kid into work and prioritise it there over work. Women often do. Right. Because men have traditionally been the breadwinners and therefore could rely on women to tend to the childcare responsibilities, the same way women relied on men to provide the income. Nowadays, both genders are doing both. Men are taking on caretaking and domestic responsibi…	/r/MensRights	09/02/21 03:16 AM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I can see what you're saying, but men don't have to face the same ultimatum and aren't financially punished for wanting to be fathers. Why should women have to choose between being a parent and making a good wage, when men can have both? In fact men are actually seen more favorably by employers when they have kids because they are seen as more responsible.	/r/MensRights	08/02/21 08:14 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Feminists have been trying to make that a reality for a long time. They wer the ones that insisted on letting women into the military and fought hard to pass the Equal Rights Amendment that would make men and women completely equal under the law, including making women sign up for the draft and treated exactly equally in divorce and custody battles. It was almost ratified until a conservative women's group rallied to stop it because they didn't want women to have to sign up for the draft. They c…	/r/MensRights	08/02/21 08:07 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Actually I would much prefer to give guys a platform to express their own needs. I was just told in this thread that sometimes women need to defend men too in front of other women since that can be more effective. Hope that makes sense!	/r/MensRights	08/02/21 08:02 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I totally agree that the idea that there is currently one group of people intentionally manipulating society to meet their interests is more conspiratory than realistic lol! People and societies are more complex than that for sure. My understanding of patriarchy is simply the economic and political power differential between men and women for a majority of history, and how that imbalance has impacted both men and women then and today. But people subscribe to all sorts of philosophies about the p…	/r/MensRights	08/02/21 07:35 AM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? So what I'm saying is that I do not necessarily think it is an accident that, all else being equal, 80% of computer scientists end up being men. Similarly, all else being equal, I'm unsurprised that 95% of nurses are female. Sure, there will be some men who want to dance ballet and some women who want to build rockets -- but maybe we should accept that these will tend to be the exception and not the norm. We shouldn't force people to inhabit gender roles that aren't right for them -- but we shou…	/r/MensRights	08/02/21 06:55 AM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? A tiny minority of men held financial and political power, but the average man was no more influential than the average woman. Totally agree. I didn't mean to imply that all men feel a certain way about an issue or that all men have more control or influence than all women. I was just talking about the lack of proportional female representation among power-holders for most of history (with only a few exceptions). Kind of like how the American revolution started because of taxation without repres…	/r/MensRights	08/02/21 06:26 AM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? First of all I'm sorry that that was your experience. I can't imagine being told that I might lose my kids because of judge bias, that is terrifying. I hope that that prediction didn't end up coming to pass :( If it helps to provide some encouragement, this type of bias against men in custody battles has been on the decline for some time. Often people site average statistics when it comes to custody dating back 20 years ago, but when you look at the trends over time, less and less women are winn…	/r/MensRights	07/02/21 04:41 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Omg that is so funny that you brought up that link because I recently watched that video of her Ted talk! That is the video that made me want to come here in the first place and learn more. I didn't realize that red pill is the movie that she directed. Mind blown, totally just connected the dots. And don't worry I really will watch it. So many people have recommended it in this post that it would not make sense not to, even if it's find more common ground. I hope you have a good day as well! Sta…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 11:44 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I do not necessarily agree that "adherence to gender norms is important for group X" (the generalized statement) means "persons are prejudiced against group X." Genuinely valid point. My "lense" in this case is based less on feminist rhetoric than on my own experiences and observations on how women in my life and myself have been hurt by gender norms so I tend to conflate them with sexism, but to your point gender roles can be just as sexist towards men as women. And just because someone believe…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 11:31 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Haven't most functioning adults in 2021 been brought up knowing that? I'd be shocked if that was really unclear to anyone in an advanced western country these days. Haha omg would you be surprised! The amount of jokes I heard about male nurses growing up was so dumbly high that if I was a guy I would feel like a laughing stock which I'm sure discourages a lot of people, which is sad seeing that nursing is expected to become more and more lucrative along with the other jobs that can't be automate…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 11:16 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Yes, I meant that this is still common in many countries. A new United Nations report which looked at gender inequality and attitudes towards women around the world found that nearly 90% of all people—that is, both men and women—are prejudiced against women. They asked questions such as whether men make better political leaders; women and men have the same rights; whether university is more important for men than women; whether men should have more rights to a job than women; whether men make be…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 11:01 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I think you misunderstood my entire comment. I was saying that I understand why people feel anger/hatred towards other groups of people (whether it be women, men, different races, etc) but that I think it's wrong. Like I get where it's coming from, but people still need to learn to stop it. When I referred to men or MRA that hate women, I specifically used words like "some" and "many" but not "all" or "most" because I don't believe that most men or MRA hate women. I was referring to those that d…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 10:48 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? But you keep getting stuck on introductory points. What's the harm in educating yourself? There's no harm at all! I just am really skeptical when it comes to documentaries because most of them are edited to convey a specific narrative. I can find a documentary about any subject that makes it seem like it's totally legit. There are flat earth documentaries that sound genuinely compelling even if there isn't any real evidence for flat earth. So I try not to conflate documentaries with genuine un-b…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 10:39 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I think you might be misunderstanding me. I'm not going to just repeat something you tell me to say, because I don't feel that that telling people what they want to hear is genuine respect, so much as it is pandering. I don't think that advocating for men belittles women at all. I think there may have been a miscommunication. I have often advocated for men in my life. I simply was disagreeing with what you said about the "only men" approach, but perhaps that's because I misunderstood what you we…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 10:32 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? PS, suggesting that the man you're talking to is "angry" or that the conversation is now "agitated" or "tense" is one classic way that feminists shut down men. I was just trying to de-escalate, but I can see how this was in effect implying that you are the one causing tension for expressing your anger. I apologize for that. Even if I disagree with you on some points, your anger and any other feelings you might be experiencing is completely valid. Maybe you missed my question. I asked how you wou…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 10:25 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thanks for copying it! So obviously I disagree with this women's conclusions. That said I understand her emotions. I think they are the same emotions that some MRA feel towards feminists or women. When you constantly see a group you belong to being belittled, made powerless, and oppressed by another group, it's easy to start seeing things as black and white and seeing the other side as purely bad. I've been guilty of this myself. Anytime I pick up a history book or watch a news article about a c…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 10:14 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? First of all the disparity in criminal sentencing is a good one to add to my list, thank you! Just stand up for men and men alone and do it fiercely. The "men alone" part is where I disagree, as it sounds very similar to the rhetoric that some feminists use that people around here seem to hate so much. Basically the idea that you should only advocate for one gender is what I'm trying to stray away from. I think acknowledging the nuance in stats is actually really important. I want to help reduce…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 09:54 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thank you! Really fascinating take on the progression of social change. I suppose there is some truth to the idea that things will naturally progress into the direction they are, but I'd still like to do my part to improve the situation even if it's just a couple people :)	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 09:46 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? These all seem reasonable and the best part: actionable (which I love, I'm less about feelings and more about what I can do to genuinely fix things), thank you for taking the time to write out these suggestions!	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 09:43 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thank you for digging these up! And thank you for the encouragement :)	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 09:41 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Hahaha this actually made me laugh. Thanks for the humor in an otherwise very tense thread! XD	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 09:39 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Many of the comments have proposed actual solutions to men's issues, which is what I was asking about. And I've taken lots of notes. The comments vilifying all feminists didn't give me any information that I can actually use to advance men's rights from a political, policy, or resource oriented standpoint. I'm not going to paint all feminists as man-hating, the same way I'm not going to paint all MRA as mysoginists. The whole point of this post was to do away with those stereotypes and actually …	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 09:37 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I'm not claiming to be the one true feminist. I'm just saying that claiming that feminists stand for misintry based on the actions of a handful of groups/people is similar to using the following stories to paint all of MRA: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/26/nyregion/roy-den-hollander-judge.html https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/mass-shooting-reshaped-canadian-debate-about-guns-and-political-identity-180962013/ I think we can agree that people who engage in extreme misintry and misogyny don…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 09:30 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Agreed, have seen this. Thanks for the input!	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 09:08 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I appreciate the summary agree that this is a huge area of disagreement between me and many of the people commenting. I genuinely don't believe this to be true, which might be why I'm having a hard time agreeing. Despite the efforts of some feminist groups to sabotage efforts to address men's issues, I know of so many more feminist organizations that have actually advocated for men's rights specifically and dedicated time and resources towards passing policies that help men specifically, so it's…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 09:08 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? No need to apologize for the length, I appreciate the thought put into your response and the way you laid it out. If I'm understanding you correctly, it sounds like you are saying that there are currently a disproportionate amount of resources being funneled towards addressing women's disadvantages/disparities (disproportionate meaning that the ratio of money put towards it is not justified by the actual statistics). With that in mind, which men's issues do you feel like we should be channeling …	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 08:57 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thank you for this extremely thoughtful (and insightful) comment. I completely agree that arguing over who has it worse serves no purpose. The reason I think it's more common to assume women do is because of power dynamics, which is based in the philosophy and evidence that whoever controls resources (money) and policy (political representation) is able to enact their will or call the shots more readily than people who don't. So since men controlled the money and political/decision-making power …	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 08:39 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I can't read that because I can't afford the subscription :/ But I take it that is an op ed written by a misentrist?	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 08:29 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I feel like this is getting more tense than I was hoping. I genuinely am trying to focus on what men's issues we can improve with resources and policy proposals, but it sounds like you are primarily hurt by my rhetoric. I don't think most men kill their wives at all. The same way I'm sure you don't think that most women falsely accuse men of rape. That is an issue that MRA brings up a lot even though it is extremely uncommon. But just because something is uncommon doesn't mean we can't try to re…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 08:28 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Sure! The last time I was in a group talking about how many women are molested, I brought up that this happens to a large proportion of men too, and how it can be just as hard (if not more in some cases) for men to come forward about it. When women have engaged in double standards I call them out. For example if you're going to reduce men to their penis size or belittle guys who aren't tall then I'm gonna point out how hypocritical that is, seeing as women don't like being objectified or body-sh…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 06:34 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Not online, but definitely in my own personal life. But that brings up a good premise that maybe I should start doing it online too.	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 05:31 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I can see that concern, but that wasn't a bias so much as just a statistic. One of the leading causes of death among pregnant women is homicide. Some analyses estimate that it is the leading cause, and the CDC puts it among the top, but it's a legitimate issue. But I don't want to side track this conversation towards women's issues, this post is about what disparities men are facing which is what I'm trying to focus on while still being honest about my stances.	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 05:29 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? This is a reasonable distinction, thanks for that clarification!	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 05:25 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? The assumption that it is both reasonable and morally/ethically right to devote your charity and empathy to people who are just like you on the basis of sex, race, religion or identity, is at first instance an admission of unjustifiable discriminatory behaviour. I totally understand how it came across that way, but that isn't what I meant. I didn't mean that I should support women's organizations because I'm a woman. I simply meant that women, just like men, still do experience disparities in ma…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 05:24 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Very prepared. My dad got full custody of my half-siblings because he was a better parent than their mother. I am very supportive of single fathers. Later him and my mom got divorced and they shared custody because they were both great parents. And I supported that too. As long as my kids' father wasn't hurting my kids or putting them at risk of psychological or physical harm, then I would make sure that they get half custody. Kids need good fathers and I would never deny them that.	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 05:19 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? When you say work together, do you mean that you and the other feminists who you refer to as good feminists would join a campaign to actively oppose the elements of feminism that oppose men's rights, i.e. you would actually be willing to engage in an ideological civil war to purge the bad feminists from the movement, at the risk of being ostracized by the 90%+ of feminists who will oppose you in this? Actually no, but only because I don't think this would be as effective as further integrating m…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 04:03 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? When they inserted equality in laws in provoked good things for men. But they never really wanted it. I would push back on this. Not to discredit your experience, but to encourage you that there are more feminists that actually want to address issues that impact men, than there are feminists who want to sabotage men's rights. Many of the attempts to include or defend men in equality efforts are absolutely intentional. Here is an article I found discussing it: https://www.itspronouncedmetrosexual…	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 03:52 PM
0	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? The problem with this thinking is as a result of the overwhelming blind support of feminism, i see this argument - why don't men just start there own thing? They try and fail - whether it's from being shot down by feminist organizations or painted as political suicide that no one subject to public scrutiny wants to seen supporting the "oppressing gender" I do see how this is a barrier, but there will always be backlashes to social movements. That doesn't mean you stop trying! When women started …	/r/MensRights	06/02/21 03:27 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Talking about DV in ways that include male victims will do more to stop people from putting all DV in the same box then having a 2nd anti-DV movement that is competing against feminism for the same scarce resources. I can totally see this being a thing, that I would support! It's definitely time to expand our conversations about domestic abuse to include the diverse range of victims. That's staid I still think it could beneficial to have separate efforts targeting violence against women and viol…	/r/MensRights	03/02/21 05:20 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? They don't seem as focused on gender equality and I would disagree with their stances. But I wouldn't take these as an example of feminist advocacy. I live in the U.S. where many of the policies aimed at stopping discrimination towards men (including men in the FBI definition of rape victims, granted men parental leave, making sure men aren't discriminated against in caretaker laws, equalizing the drinking age of men and women where men used to have to be held to a higher standard, balancing the…	/r/MensRights	03/02/21 04:55 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thank you, this was the simplest comment but it hit me the hardest.	/r/MensRights	03/02/21 04:55 AM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Very well said! Wholeheartedly agree	/r/MensRights	03/02/21 04:54 AM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Agree with them that women's shelters are under funded and there needs to be 2x as many to actually serve the need. Work out how many victims per shelter that is. Then point out how exceedingly under served male victims are. This is a great approach. I think that everyone can agree that men are underserved when it comes to resources for domestic and sexual abuse. I'm not even sure how someone could deny that. If/when you find yourself in a conversation about "violence against women", simply don'…	/r/MensRights	03/02/21 04:53 AM
4	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Well said! I appreciate that you said "too" implying that both men and women should be listened to and their concerns taken seriously. I totally agree and I can speak up if I feel like men's concerns are being brushed off in my circle.	/r/MensRights	03/02/21 01:10 AM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? It would be better to have organizations be able to address male inequality without getting criticized by everyone "because men have more privilege." Agreed! This is a go-to for people who don't want to critically engage with what the concerns are. Seems like we need a culture shift around this	/r/MensRights	03/02/21 01:08 AM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thank you for these resources! Honestly my impression of the articles is that they are extremely depressing and I have a huge amount of empathy for men whose mental health is ignored, worsened, or whose lives are ruined by situations like this.	/r/MensRights	02/02/21 10:15 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I think that's a great idea! There's already some organizations like that (like the representation project which tries to change how both genders are represented in the media and do away with harmful stereotypes. Many of those that I've encountered focus on both genders, but I haven't yet seen one that focuses soley on how men are portrayed. I think it would be great to see one dedicated to making sure that men are respected (not objectified or belittled or made to feel unsafe) in media discours…	/r/MensRights	02/02/21 10:06 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? No not at all, I didn't come here to talk about feminism, that's why my post didn't mention it. I came here to figure out what else that we as women can be doing to help men's rights. But if you are concerned that feminists deep down don't really care about men or their rights, then I would really like to change that. Not because I want to discredit the negative experiences you've had with feminists (I've learned the stories about how some feminist groups have tried to impede men's rights and it…	/r/MensRights	02/02/21 05:13 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Well this post was never about feminism. I was just trying to understand better what actions that women can take to support men towards reducing some of the disparities that they are facing. But some people have changed the subject to feminism which I don't think is very helpful since I don't actually believe that it's the biggest impediment to men"s disparities. While I totally agree that there needs to be a culture shift around gender issues and that some feminist organizations have attempted …	/r/MensRights	02/02/21 02:54 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Haha no I am a very insensitive, stubborn, and ignorant person but I am trying to better myself so I appreciate the encouragement :)	/r/MensRights	02/02/21 01:41 AM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thanks, this is helpful context!	/r/MensRights	02/02/21 01:40 AM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I can definitely do this, thanks for weighing!	/r/MensRights	02/02/21 01:39 AM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thank you for all or this great research! I'm sure this took a while to pull up so I want to give it the response it deserves. "The wage gap" One of the most commonly presented and most commonly debunked myths in men's issues. Notice I wasn't referring to the general wage gap that people talk about. I agree that that topic is more nuainced than many people think. I was referring specifically to the economic disadvantages that mothers face, not all women. Some might say "well then women can just …	/r/MensRights	02/02/21 01:35 AM
5	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thank you for your response. This is a fair critique of my identification of genuine vs factioned feminism and where I should draw the line one who are legitimate feminists vs not. Also I appreciate the actual examples! I will look these up to educate myself. I do have a lingering question though. Given that all movements and every ideology has members who have use their political or social power to hurt people or do something immoral, do you see all ideological institutions as bad? For example …	/r/MensRights	01/02/21 10:04 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thank you! I can definitely be more intentional about doing this in my own life. I don't want to vilify all of feminists, but I can point out when feminist groups are being more anti-men than pro-women and advocate for men's issues as just as important and warranting resources.	/r/MensRights	01/02/21 09:56 PM
-1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I don't think that I would agree with the notion that feminism has tried to blame men for all the world's problems. It certainly puts a lot of focus on dismantling the patriarchy, but patriarchy as an institution is very different than men in general. Patriarchy from what I understand is the disproportionate amount of political, economic, and cultural power and influence that men as a group have had for most of history, an imbalance that has hurt men and women alike. I mean one of the first femi…	/r/MensRights	01/02/21 09:54 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? You're totally right! I was referring to lives more at risk in their relationship specifically. Like a woman is more likely to be killed by her boyfriend than a man is likely to be killed by his girlfriend. But you're right that in total, men are more likely to be murdered than women, and that is something that we need to be talking about and trying to prevent.	/r/MensRights	01/02/21 05:53 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I can understand your concern, but the reason I'm using gender is because it's different than sex. Sex is the body you're born with, whereas gender is whatever the cultural expectations are for your body type in your specific culture or time period. Some Native American tribes for example had three genders. In western society we have had two. In other cultures they have more. So to mw it doesn't make sense to use the word "sex" since that is describing something biological vs social. Do you feel…	/r/MensRights	01/02/21 05:51 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I would say the biggest in the U.S. are: The wage and wealth gap that presents after women become mothers. Many women fall into poverty after becoming mothers whereas it happens less frequently for men, even if they have to pay child support. This is because typically women spend more of their income on their kids than the fathers. This could be helped with more family-friendly work policies like paid paternal leave, flexible work hours for people with kids, and a culture shift. Women tend to wo…	/r/MensRights	01/02/21 05:46 PM
8	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Well let me know if you find it! I am hesitant to pass along information that I don't have a verified source for since misinformation is such an issue these days and it's one thing to say that men's rights are ignored, but another thing entirely to say that there are groups of feminists actively trying to sabotage men's service organizations. I totally can see this being a possibility but I just want to make sure that this is correct before spreading this news.	/r/MensRights	31/01/21 07:46 PM
3	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Right now, we're kinda dependent on female voices to prompt people to examine men's issues. I can see what you mean. Because of the current context, men speaking up for their belittlement is easily brushed off as intolerance even if they have legitimate concerns. I am very passionate about amplifying the voices of women because of my own experiences and seeing what women still go through all over the world, but through these conversations I am increasingly aware of how often men are silenced too…	/r/MensRights	31/01/21 07:41 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I managed to fight my way through them whilst smiling and seeming cool with it" Ugh, story of my life. I don't want men to go through this anymore than women! This is not female empowerment it is just sexual harassment.	/r/MensRights	31/01/21 07:35 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thanks for that insight! And haha I consider myself more of an og feminist than a feminazi but you brought up a great point about the courts. I will look into the bias against men in the court system and see what sorts of efforts that I can support to reduce those biases.	/r/MensRights	31/01/21 05:36 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I am so incredibly sorry that this has been your experience. I am really tired of the brushing off of people's trauma and struggles with the claim that they must not have it so bad. It's awful and you deserve just as much respect and empathy as anyone else, and it's rediculous that I even have to say that. I will definitely be more vocal with my friends about these types of things.	/r/MensRights	31/01/21 05:34 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? The sexualization and objectifycation of male only striked me recently. Go on google and type "ladies night charity uk", three quarter of the events have male stripper or topless/ nude waiters (called buff butlers). It's definitely a thing, I see it all the time. Although I see and have experienced it from men too (I mean hooters is still a thing lol...a restaurant where you go to be waited on by women with big boobs? Come on people lol). I don't want either gender to feel objectified because it…	/r/MensRights	31/01/21 05:31 PM
0	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I was referring to the US in this phrase. In all the sources or statistics I found, men were more likely to murder and/or be murdered, and women less likely. Of those women that do get murdered, though, they were more likely to be murdered by their own spouse/partner than a stranger and the rate at which that happened was higher for women than for men. Do you have a source that discredits these stats?	/r/MensRights	31/01/21 05:28 PM
27	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? This is awful. I looked up this story and it broke my heart. The fact that he repeatedly tried to reach out to the government and other organizations for support and was ignored I believe is a testament to the notion that abuse of men is largely ignored. I didn't noticed in the article any mention of a feminist group trying to sabotage them. Do you know the name of which one it was? I want to look into this and make sure that I'm not supporting them or that they've revised their behaviors toward…	/r/MensRights	31/01/21 05:23 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I totally agree that some people take feminism too far, which I've seen happen in most movements. Every movement with good intentions inevitably has some people join who are in it for the wrong reasons (hatred of an "other" rather than the quest for progress). Since the extreme voices tend to be more vocal in the media and other communication sources, they come to paint the entire movement as one of hatred or destruction even if thst doesn't align with the actual definition or fundamentals of th…	/r/MensRights	31/01/21 05:16 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Wow that's compelling! It sounds like increases access to quality health care and other social services could help prevent mental health issues for men as well as violence against women.	/r/MensRights	31/01/21 05:04 PM
3	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Wow, thank you for putting in the time to outline these suggestions! I read it twice to make sure I absorbed it. I do see women engaging in these types of behaviors and will be more mindful in terms of catching it. For example I felt really uncomfortable when people proposed penis-shaped food items at a bachelorette party recently because I find that very objectifying towards men (also just weird, I never want to eat a penis shaped cupcake). I also noticed though that many of these are things wo…	/r/MensRights	30/01/21 11:41 PM
11	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Could you provide an example or two of what you are referring to? Up until now I've never heard of people shutting down organizations that seek to provide services to men, and I'd like to learn more about these efforts since that sounds really unfair.	/r/MensRights	30/01/21 11:33 PM
1	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Yeah good point about the test. I was more thinking just a temporary fix. Like if a woman cheated (which is bad) but the guy was super abusive and she was worried that if he found out he would best her up and she would miscarry or that he would do something when they left the hospital, then they could make up a temporary excuse so that she has time to leave or get to a domestic shelter before he finds out. But that's complicated, and you're right that even the best intentioned policies will hurt…	/r/MensRights	30/01/21 09:34 PM
4	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? The mother will obviously focus on the kid with a broken leg more but she won't ignore the child with a headache, just because the other kid has it worse. The mother would also give the other child pain meds for the headache. This is a great analogy. I agree, it doesn't have to be 100% one or the other, and I think most people would agree with that! I guess what I was just saying is that trying to convert an organization with a specific purpose to serve another audience might not work out very w…	/r/MensRights	30/01/21 09:29 PM
2	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? we might raise firstly awareness to the very existence of boys and men's issues, most people don't even know them I think you're right! A lot of people don't know about the disparities men face. I think some of it might be because women have been facing a power disparity for so long in human history (and in many countries it still continues) that people immediately associate men's rights with an attempt to bring us back into how things used to be, which would suck. And while it's true that some …	/r/MensRights	30/01/21 09:22 PM
5	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? Thank you for these suggestions! Very helpful :)	/r/MensRights	30/01/21 08:15 PM
3	How can women help to address men's issues while still addressing their own? I don't want to see funding for female victims reduced but I do want to see funding for male victims at least approach a similar percentage to the proportion of victims who are male. I can definitely get behind this. While I do think there are some organizations whose mission is specifically to address the unique situations that women face with this issue (typically being smaller/less able to defend themselves, their lives being more at risk, differences in men and women' stalking behavior to na…	/r/MensRights	30/01/21 08:12 PM