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lacygnus Archive

View 2 posts and 92 comments by lacygnus on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
65

FIELD REPORTlacygnus/r/RedPillWomen25/08/16 07:36 PM
21

THEORYlacygnus/r/RedPillWomen24/12/16 12:20 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Yeah I don't fully understand the point either. "Oh hey this guy MAY be successful one day because of the things he says... let me tie myself to him forever by having his child! That's a great idea!" <- if that actually happens to someone, a neckbeard's supposed curtain of illusions is the least of their worries.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/17 01:11 AM
4

Makeup, when done right, is as much false advertising as it is when a dude gets a slick fade done at the barber shop. Honestly some women go ALL OUT with the makeup with the contouring and what have you and I have to say, I have yet to meet a man who's looking to be with a girl who makes him want to wash his face after a kiss. As MsSadieDunham said, it's all about still being recognizable as YOU without your makeup on. Just the best version of you :) For me, I usually just go with a bit of blush…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/17 11:44 PM
1

"Lack of options" is not what women are thinking about when they reject a man is my point I'm afraid it sometimes is... but women certainly don't call it that. They call it 'desperation' or 'clinginess'. And whether or not they define it before, during or after does that matter? It still has an influence.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/17 05:36 PM
1

It means that his options are an afterthought, not the reason of the rejection. Ah, that makes sense. I was thrown off a bit due to the word ‘choices’. In my initial response, I state that the initial reason for not responding to the text may be fairly innocuous and that the lack of abundance mentality is what creates situations where men are texting a girl who showed interest but then are being rejected by lack of response. I never said lack of abundance mentality is THE reason for not respondi…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/17 09:59 PM
1

So lack of attraction precedes his choices or lack of them, they're irrelevant. I’m sorry, I’m having a very hard time understanding what this means? A man doesn’t need to actually have a horde of women fighting over him. If he behaves like he does, he’s going to avoid a lot of pointless misery. I don’t think it’s a lose-lose situation, because if a girl is getting hounded by a guy, whether or not she actually likes him, it is validation to her and it’s a chance for her to have her ego inflated.…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/17 09:17 PM
7

I think this article illustrates something very well, but I don’t think it’s main point is to do with finding a partner. I think this article illustrates a woman’s hamster very well. She feels entitled to passion and excitement and never once mentions what she brings to her man’s life, just what they can do for her. It’s very frustrating because I see this A LOT. “It’s my man’s job to manage my feelings.” I think it’s the root of a lot of unhappiness for a lot of women (and their poor partners).…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/17 07:30 PM
1

best option Not his best option, his ONLY option. Which is the impression he's giving by hanging off of someone who's showing they're not interested. And just fyi, I've had plenty of friends who are super into a guy and then he texts them and they're like 'meh... I don't want to text him back' or 'I'm going to make him wait for a bit'. They play games. It's not as simple as she's not attracted to him, sometimes her own personal issues and feeeeelings get in the way of her acting on her attractio…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/17 06:36 PM
2

Never too early to start! :) and you're plenty young. It's funny because I definitely resented my father deeply as a teenager but now I'm so thankful he had such a firm hand.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/17 09:34 PM
1

But why aren't you texting back? Initially the reason for not texting back might be super innocuous: checked the text and forgot to respond, something came up, she got sick etc. As cold as it might be to say, women are fickle creatures. I've had friends stop liking guys for the dumbest of reasons, honestly. However, if she gives that initial lack of initiative with not texting back, a high quality man would be like "not worth my time" and leave it be. Because he has options, he has an abundance …
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/17 12:37 AM
9

Bothered by the traits he looked for in his wife or the fact that young men have women for play?
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 11:42 PM
1

My parents are hardcore eastern-european and my dad was quite militant about us not going out until we were 18. My sister and I weren't even allowed out on sleepovers as teenagers. My dad has always been extremely involved in vetting dates/boyfriends. The first boy I brought home was in university, I was 18. My dad didn't say anything but he was very cold to him and obviously I was all 'but I looooooove him'. Yeah that didn't last long and after we broke up pops was like 'yeah he was a loser, sa…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 11:36 PM
4

I like that you said 'I'm better at some things and he is better at others', I think that's a key tenet of RPW- honoring the ways men and women differ and the inherent value in those things. I also don't feel like my man needs to lead me and at the same time I feel like surrendering to my SO has improved our relationship greatly, because it's put the ball back in his court. I think what RPW helps to prevent is the relationship dynamic where a woman is constantly nagging her partner and he, in re…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 10:32 PM
2

What's the worst that could happen? This. Right here. As someone with anxiety my mind tends to go to worst case scenario and it's funny because I spent so long trying to stop it from going there I never truly listened to it. Once you get down to it the worst case scenario isn't that bad and definitely isn't worth ruining your relationship over.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 10:26 PM
2

Mindfulness helped, for sure. By learning to sit with stress/negative emotions rather than react to them you don't jump to do something (get crabby, nag, complain etc.) to deal with the feelings. I also found my "phrase" that helps me when I'm about to snap or be less than kind to my SO. "Is this the hill you want your relationship to die on?" has really helped me. If it's not, then it doesn't matter. My friend told me she asks herself "will this matter in 10 years?" and usually the answer is 'n…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 10:24 PM
1

LOL!
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 09:48 PM
1

True! Some people never seem to grow out of it though.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 09:43 PM
19

Agreed. A woman can be "plate material” to a high quality man but easily lock down a beta.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 09:29 PM
9

It sounds like you are in an abusive relationship and that kind of person does not deserve any sort of 'captain' treatment. Seconded. Get out of there ASAP. Your children deserve more than growing up with a father figure who threatens their lives and so do you.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 09:21 PM
1

I'm so sorry, that is not okay and should not have been allowed to happen.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 09:17 PM
2

Dirtball?? Rude. Sounds like a snob that's for sure.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 09:15 PM
3

At age 13 I had a massive growth spurt and wound up super tall with boobs that were so large I had to buy specialty bras and wear two sports bras for gym class. I basically spent from the age of 13-18 ashamed of my body, hunched over attempting to hide the girls and hiding in giant sweatshirts. I grew up with most of the boys in my highschool so I was definitely friendly with them but never anything sexual and my dad was so insanely strict I couldn't go out and about and get into trouble. I thin…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 09:14 PM
1

-Get back into volleyball, I'm much happier when I'm involved in a sport. -Develop a regular cleaning schedule (and stick to it!) so I'm not drowning in housework by the weekend. -Coordinate more accessories with my outfits.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 09:06 PM
1

Omg that's so funny you'd say that because when I was typing the title my phone almost auto-corrected it to oxycontin!!!
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/16 07:30 PM
1

Haha, I too am an oxytocin junkie! Morning cuddles have been responsible for more than a few days when I was running late to work. Thank-you for sharing that! I know the ventral pallidum plays a role in addiction so I wonder if that might account for how some people wind up being almost addicted to relationships that aren't particularly healthy for them. I wonder, if I might pick your brain for a bit- do you think that the fact that AVP's role in aggression toward other males might explain the e…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/16 01:01 AM
4

My pleasure! It's tough to see it when you're in it and I get that you're trying to give her some perspective with what you're telling her. Hard when we care about our friends and we keep seeing them burned by the prevailing blue pill perspective that's crammed down everyone's throats nowadays :(
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/16 12:31 AM
1

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother, hoping she feels better soon. She's lucky to have you with her :) My grandma is one of my favorite people so I'm sure it must be tough to see her unwell. How would you feel about posting a picture of that Yule Log? It sounds scrumptious AND super cool! By any chance is the folding knife you got him an Opinel knife??
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/16 12:29 AM
1

Oh my gosh!!! That is DEFINITELY going on my birthday wishlist. Your cookies are so pretty I'd feel guilty eating them!
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/16 12:26 AM
17

"Just don't take yourself off the market for him." I think this might be encouraging her to think with a mentality of "I'm the one who decides whether this is a relationship or not" and then she's baffled when the guy makes the decision for her. Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of relationships. If she wants a serious relationship to happen, she needs to understand that and if you want to help her in her pursuit of that relationship, definitely don't be using RPW termino…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/16 12:24 AM
3

I admire your determination and ambition :) In regards to the first one, I did CBT and it was incredibly helpful, honestly it brought me to a greater level of clarity and maturity. That and mindfulness are two key things that saved me from becoming the shrewish, nagging girlfriend/wife trope.
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/16 07:46 PM
2

That’s big news!!! I think the fact that you’re talking and communicating about it is setting yourselves up for success when it comes to getting things going again in the bedroom :) I also love that you’re putting effort into not neglecting your DH. Because if you think about it doing that IS being a good mother, you’re giving baby Dunham two happy, connected parents. I’m really putting in effort this week to not allow my boyfriend’s mood to affect mine. That might sound selfish at first glance,…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/16 08:09 PM
1

You’ve advocated her expending energy towards understanding him. I don’t think that’s a priority right now. I wasn’t aware I wasn’t allowed to give my perspective on other people’s comments? I don’t think any of this is funny at all.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/16 07:53 PM
6

I couldn't agree more! I feel like women are coddled so much that they become unable to hold themselves to a certain standard because everybody gets a participation trophy. It's just absurd. In my culture it's unacceptable for women to balloon after having children. You're representing your family when you're out and about in public and if you're dumpy and fat that's not a very good image to project. I think there's also something to be said for women not taking being pregnant as license to cram…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/16 07:48 PM
2

I think OP is not fully comprehending how deeply disturbing her partner’s behavior is and she is also misconstruing the tenets of RPwomen. RPW is not about deferring to someone just because they’re male, it’s about finding someone who is worthy of the title of captain and acting accordingly as their first mate. Her partner has shown by his actions that he is at present not ready for that responsibility. I don’t think OP is a delicate flower but going off psychiatric medication suddenly is extrem…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/16 07:37 PM
7

A man would not respond to a threat to his security by endangering the life of a loved one. That is the reaction and action of a little boy, not someone who's captain-worthy. And make no mistake, telling someone on psychiatric medication to go off of their meds is absolutely endangering their life. His response to feeling threatened is to ruin her treatment plan? No. Unacceptable behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/16 11:57 PM
4

I have to disagree with the mental illness part. Mental illness is something a lot of people have no control over (not saying that they don’t have control over things they can do to manage it like getting enough sleep, avoiding alcohol, eating well, exercising etc.). I feel a lot of women willfully engage in meaningless sex that racks up their n-count and doesn’t sound particularly appealing and to what end I don’t know. I have this inkling that for some women tons of sex with various people isn…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/16 10:57 PM
0

Good lord... hoping someone who'd be cool with a rando leaving them pregnant would raise your child?! Along with her beta bux?! Way to set the bar high for child rearing, there. I recall in the Stepford Wives that one of the robots had a total meltdown and started belching sparks and spinning like she was possessed during square dancing. I can't imagine any high quality man being comfortable with leaving his child in the care of a robot who's capable of breaking down. (Although I suppose the poi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/16 07:52 PM
4

First step is to read the sidebar and start seriously working on yourself. It's important to HONESTLY FACE the damage you have done to your relationship in order to figure out how to work on it. It is possible to become marriage material and if you want tips on how to do that, start reading every single piece of RPW literature you can get your hands on. I think it's pretty awful you told him he doesn't love you just because he wasn't giving you exactly what you wanted in that moment. It takes tw…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/16 06:35 PM
3

I definitely agree that not every detail needs to be rehashed... I guess I'm wondering if you'd get anxious if opportunities arose where he might be faced with finding out that side of you from someone else? For example if he stumbles across a particular picture of you on the internet (it's been known to happen), bumps into a former flame or even someone who has partied with you in the past. I'm not saying bare your soul and detail every sexual thing you've done EVER in existence... I guess I'm …
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/16 06:26 PM
4

I have absolutely no horse in this race so whatever plan you go with is your decision and that is totally understandable given that it's your life! I'm just curious (and if you don't want to respond that's totally fine)- if you're dating a guy and he says something that's not a direct ask but that could segue into it, will you reveal? For example, if you're on a date at a restaurant and there's a girl close to you dressed provocatively, being loud, showing off her goods and behaving in a "party-…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/16 06:00 PM
15

This is probably not considered that "extreme" but definitely disagrees with a few tenets of RP theory. I think the whole 'women are children' belief is a crock and is used to excuse immature, selfish and morally reprehensible behavior by females. To me there is a world of a difference between a girl and a woman and I think some females mentally never enter that 'woman' phase even though they physically do. I think the Western World is too soft and encourages women to behave badly and men to thr…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/16 05:51 PM
1

You're most welcome! Bring fun and light to your own life and it'll spill over into his when he's with you.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/16 05:39 PM
3

My n-count is low and I'd say I'm pretty good in bed! At least my boyfriend seems to think so :) I've learned so much from him about what he likes and what gets him going. I think an LTR is the perfect way to gain sexual experience! You're more comfortable communicating what you do/don't like, comfortable experimenting and you're not increasing your n-count. If we're talking pure numbers, I'd say we average about 7-15 times per week, so let's say it's 10 times per week. That times 52 is 520. Mul…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/16 05:35 PM
8

Oh gosh, that does sound very stressful and upsetting, indeed! My boyfriend sometimes runs dread without realizing it (working late on a big project, being quieter than usual, going out with the guys) and I used to react in a very unhelpful way with whiney comfort tests (“what’s wrong? Is everything okay? Are you mad at me?”) Guess what no man includes on their list of things that women do that attract them? If you said whining then DING DING DING! You’re a winner! It’s hard when our hamster is …
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/16 05:04 PM
10

Wow. Some of the worst advice here. Lying about your past? Terrible, terrible advice. Improve on yourself. Be a better you. But never forget your past is also a part of you. Right?! I'm honestly horrified that's even being posited as a potential way to do things. It sounds horrifically deceptive and nasty. I would hope if she found a quality man she wanted to keep she would have enough respect for him to not make a chump out of him by LYING to him. And then even feigning sexual innocence?! My go…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/16 04:50 PM
2

I've never really dated casually so take what I say with a grain of salt: I really encourage some level of savoring the 'getting-to-know-you' stage. If you're open to going no filter with everyone then I feel like some girls can sense it and they don't necessarily feel special. Not only that but it doesn't feel special to you when you find someone to go no filter with because you do it with most. I'm not saying be a cold fish but maybe hold back a bit? Totally be warm and a great conversationali…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/16 11:17 PM
2

Honestly, would you not find it a little bit strange if a fully grown woman still held her brother's hand? I know I would.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/16 11:11 PM
12

I have two lifelong male friends and I’d say the only reason why our friendship is securely outside of the possibility of sexual intimacy is the following reasons: 1) We’ve known each other since we were in diapers, literally. We grew up together and not just in a ‘I see you every so often at family bbqs’ kinda way. Our moms are best friends, we spent probably every single day together until we were about 5 and started going to kindergarten and from then on we saw each other at school and often …
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/16 10:42 PM
2

Ultimately, my children are more important than my sexual needs. I won't break up the family for my personal needs because that will negatively impact them. You're a good man, all my respect your way. I hope those good days are on the horizon for you very soon.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/16 09:26 PM
2

Thank-you for that!!! Most of the ladies I've talked to have mentioned that their sex drive was never the same again and while I guess it might be a possibility it helps to hear the opposite from you.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/16 10:45 PM
4

If you don't mind me asking- how has having kids changed your sex life? I mean obviously you don't have as much time/energy and your body is changed after making and birthing a human, but I'm wondering did having children affect your libido at all? Sorry if that's too personal I'm just curious and so nervous that my sex drive is going to take a nosedive post-pregnancy.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/16 08:46 PM
12

Ideally I would like to have sex with my man once in the morning and a couple times in the evening. I'm very aware, however, that this is based off of the fact that I'm in my 20s, we currently do not have children (soon, hopefully!) and that I currently have a lot of time to invest in upkeep and maintenance of my appearance. That being said, a few days before my period starts I'm usually quite bloated and feel gross so I want sex less. I'll generally initiate every evening before bed, though, re…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/16 08:26 PM
2

Do you think part of it might have to do with people having children later in life? I feel like most people are now waiting until they're in their late 30s to have their first and they don't have as much energy as they would if they'd had kids at a younger age. My mom always encouraged me and my sister to have our kids before the age of 30.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/16 07:24 PM
2

It's not totally redpill but I loved the book "Change your mindset, not your man". It has this awesome perspective shift from learning to love what's right instead of trying to fix what's "wrong".
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/16 06:18 PM
3

Working out sounds like a great one! I met a few friends through fitness classes and they all have just as solid an interest in fitness and healthy living as I do :) it's nice to have gal pals who don't think the only way you can hang out is by drinking a bottle of wine between you.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/16 06:09 PM
20

Passionate to me means that he stands for something, he's not wishy-washy and he knows what he wants. It's kind of a 'take-charge' quality but also a certain level of determination. And if he's passionate about other things he loves he's going to one day (hopefully) be passionate about the family you start together. He's going to be passionate about giving his partner and kids the very best in life, keeping them safe and providing for them (in spite of the hardships he may endure). That being sa…
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/16 07:35 PM
1

With you on the yoga thing! I only manage to fit it in on Sunday mornings before breakfast. Something I found really pulled an outfit together in the colder months is a feminine/cute, matching/complimenting scarf/hat/glove set. I have three of them and I alternate them out. They make me feel so fancee!
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/16 06:15 PM
2

I definitely agree she should be careful how she plays her cards and I am 100% all for keeping families together. I think shared custody can have significant negative impacts on children. She'll have to weigh whether staying with him will have a greater negative impact. Maybe not- I'm not her and she is definitely the expert on her own life here! It's a very delicate situation, I hope it does not end badly.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/16 06:03 PM
1

Ick. That sounds like she’s not a very nice person at all, and good for you for seeing what a toxic situation that was. I would recommend, however, in the future, avoiding publicly commenting on those kinds of situations. It doesn’t particularly affect you and it’s not really your business. I encourage you in the future to ask yourself- what does my involvement in this situation do for the way people view me? In the moment, before everything blew up in their faces, you looked like a bitter party…
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/16 06:00 PM
1

sadly if my son ends up in a dangerous situation I will have no choice but to leave at least until the situation is rectified. That's a big if though, he hasn't even found anyone yet and if he does its not guaranteed they will be trouble just yet. Honestly I hope it doesn’t come to that, for the sake of you and for the sake of your little boy. If my boyfriend told me he had intentions to impregnate an intellectually disabled person I would be concerned for his psychiatric well-being.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/16 05:50 PM
6

I’m sorry but him being attracted to you and you not being attracted to him does nothing to make this friendship acceptable. I certainly wouldn’t want my boyfriend hanging around a woman he had openly expressed interest in. And his behavior at the party indicates that interest is still there. Also, I would hope that if you started dating someone you would steer clear of this guy. I would never hang around a guy friend who had openly expressed interest in me while in a relationship with someone e…
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/16 05:11 PM
3

"He's been talking about picking up poor single mothers or girls with limited intellectual capability and having babies with them." Sounds like a great environment to bring a child up in... here's hoping he doesn't go back to his former plan of knocking up a hooker/crack whore. Any woman he brings into the home will be around her and her child, will be using up resources/time- same goes for their child if they get pregnant by him. This just sounds like a terrible situation. I am all for working …
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/16 04:43 PM
1

someone tells me I'm wrong and I'm malicious Could you elaborate on that? What do those situations look like?
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/16 11:36 PM
1

This seems like an attempt at generalizing a very specific case study to the rest of the world and I have to disagree here. There are so many factors that might come into play here... maybe when men are perceived to be "working less" the marriage is more likely to crumble because their wives start becoming resentful and nagging. To draw from personal experience (I know this is not "scientifically sound", just my two cents), I had horrible anxiety when I had too much leisure time. Too much time s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/16 06:03 PM
12

I personally think that's it's (partially) because degrees are not as reliable an indicator of income anymore. An electrician can make bank and start making bank at a much younger age than someone who goes all the way to getting their master's or PhD and neither of those degrees guarantees employment (and it often does guarantee student loans/debt).
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/16 05:28 PM
2

Right?! I totally agree with the notion of 'be your own best friend'... and as my own best friend I've had to give myself the hard truths. Hard truth number one... ain't no man gonna want to wife you if you're acting like a narcissistic nutjob.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/16 06:43 PM
6

where Beyoncé sang about ‘All The Single Ladies’ I can't remember where I saw this but somebody said something along the lines of 'Beyonce made a song called Single Ladies and then went home to her husband leaving all you lonely girls dancing in a circle pretending to be happy'. Oof.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/16 06:41 PM
3

Last week’s challenge was definitely fun! And um… interesting at other points. My man LOVED the extra attention. We have a pretty solid sex life, 1-2 times a day usually (sometimes in the morning and usually in the evening), but it was kind of awesome getting back into seducing him. There was an incident where it was an attempt at sexiness and it ended with us in a puddle of laughter on the floor, tears of mirth running down my face. I don’t want to get vulgar so I’ll avoid details but I just ha…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/16 06:36 PM
1

I'm going to try and not eat cookies at work. They are always around and it's so hard. Oh my gosh tell me about it! I happen to work in an office where people are hardcore food pushers and it's taking a lot out of me to politely refuse the cookies/pastries/doughnuts etc. people bring in.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/16 06:28 PM
5

Before, my insecurity often led me to bragging, talking too much, trying to win arguments and gossiping. Now I feel like I don't need that anymore. Right on the money! Couldn't agree more :)
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/16 06:13 PM
2

"Don't give yourself up to self-pity and self-punishment. It might be hard at first, but clench your teeth and allow yourself to see your true potential and aspire to acquire it." Love this! I've added it to my list of inspirational quotes :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/16 08:35 PM
4

It kind of sounds like your former SO was looking for validation. Sometimes people just want to know that we can SEE how challenging things get. A great tactic to use is to validate (which doesn't mean you're agreeing) and then put it back on them. Example: "I want to do [y activity] but [x thing that's not my fault went wrong]!!! ARGH!" "It must have been so frustrating that [x thing went wrong] when you were trying to do [y activity]. I wonder how you could manage to get around that/prepare fo…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/16 08:31 PM
2

Because the status of 'girlfriend' is like an internship for girls who want to become wives. If you don't keep it together, if you don't act like a trooper, if you're not someone men can depend on when shit hits the fan or when people throw up everywhere, then there is no ring with your name on it. Wife is a trade of husbandry. The duties involve caring for the family. Just like animal husbandry involve caring for cattle. I couldn’t agree more with this statement, what an interesting way of fram…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 06:16 PM
2

I suppose I started getting mad at him because of classic hamster syndrome. I spent a long time with a sense of entitlement and false expectations of my relationship. Entitlement in the sense that I deserve to always be placated and catered to and false expectations that it's my boyfriend's responsibility to manage my feeeeeelings. The (false and hysterical) train of thought that lead to that blip of anger was probably (this is me speculating) "another woman hitting on my man makes me feel insec…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 05:33 PM
3

Absolutely! I think it just depends WHY and HOW you're checking up on someone. If it's out of concern for their health or safety and you do it in a way that's feminine and loving that's totally fine (ETA: this is all in my opinion, I'm fairly new to RPW so if I'm off-base I'm eager to hear what the other ladies have to say). But this is another question... checking up on him in this situation would have, I feel, made me look insecure and, even worse, might have him look like he can't do anything…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 05:23 PM
1

Thank-you! I appreciate seeing those words connected to my actions :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 05:20 PM
3

Oh believe me, the urge was there. Especially when I saw she'd gotten vomit on the towels that had been passed down to us from my boyfriend's grand-mère. I only bring them out when we have guests over and keep them stored away otherwise.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 05:20 PM
3

To some degree I felt bad for her. I would have walked into traffic (not actually but oh my gosh the level of mortification) if I had embarrassed myself and my SO in public like that. My boyfriend and his brother were chatting about it over brunch the next morning and his brother mentioned something about how ‘there’s a reason they’ve been dating for almost a decade and K hasn’t even looked at rings yet’.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 05:18 PM
2

The greatest mastery of all..is mastery of self. Couldn't agree more! The ability to observe my emotions and put my energy towards changing my reactions to them instead of changing the way I feel has been such a valuable learning experience for me.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 05:15 PM
1

Thank-you :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 05:14 PM
2

Thank-you so much!!! You’re one of my RP role models so seeing a comment from you made my day :) I can’t say I’ve always succeeded in my abilities to restrain myself but I’m getting better every day and that’s where I’m going to keep putting my energy.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 05:13 PM
3

Thank-you! It was hard to bite my tongue and not say anything that's for darn sure. When I thought about it though I remember being like 'what am I going to do? Get in there and drag her away? Ask him to step away from the situation?' That would have been about as infantilizing and insecure as it gets. That ad! I die!!! Seriously that would have been me not even a year and a half ago. You’re absolutely right that he’s been thoroughly vetted and I was able to keep my cool and trust him because I …
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 05:09 PM
1

Thankfully I’m secure enough in my relationship to not stress over that stuff :) I’m pretty certain he didn’t want her as he’s always made it very clear he finds it exceptionally unattractive when women are too forward, too drunk or making a public spectacle of themselves. That could just be my hamster going but I’m not too worried about it.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 05:02 PM
1

I'm curious, why did you start getting mad at your boyfriend ? I have no idea how that works. Why did I start getting mad at my boyfriend in the past or why did I get mad at him when the situation went down with the girl being a drunken mess?
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 04:59 PM
1

Thank-you!!! It's definitely a struggle but it's so worth it, isn't it? I can only imagine the amount of misery I would have doled out if I'd been in the same mindset as I was before.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/16 11:17 PM
7

Totally!!! I can count on one hand the moments when I've felt like he was being irrational but I'm sure he would need a freaking excel spreadsheet to compile the times I've behaved in such a fashion. When I first started practicing RPW I'd had a particularly difficult day and I managed to burn dinner at the end of it. I started crying and he comes and comforts me!!! Imagine that! I managed to blubber out through tears "why are you with me?! I'm such a mess!" I don't think he even had an answer f…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/16 11:16 PM
1

Absolutely! I think it’s important that we identify our limitations and work on them without making ourselves feel terrible about them. I think it’s sweet how worried you were about him and I’m sure you didn’t unload on him when you saw that everything was fine. Trust me, I’ve had plenty moments where I assumed the worst when he wasn’t responding or hadn’t called when he said he would or was late getting home. Then of course I’d amass all this anxiety in my brain and he’d come home and I’d dump …
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/16 10:32 PM
5

It's SUCH a good visual! When I first started reading redpill theory and read about the hamster I was like 'oh my gosh... that's exactly what happens in my head!' Something minor would happen and I would make it a thousand times worse by following the most illogical, frantic chain of thought. I now see that I had a terrible victim complex. Learning how to let that angry hamster run itself to exhaustion without expressing any of the anxiety outwardly was one of the best things I ever did for my r…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/16 10:29 PM
2

Given that OP has an undergraduate in French with a minor in English I think doing translation work would be excellent! My boyfriend's mother is a native French speaker and she did translation work for the French consulate. She was able to work from home and had very flexible hours, enough time to do a fabulous job of raising four children and keep her husband happy :)
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/16 05:54 PM
1

All of the advice the other ladies have given is very applicable. One thing I would recommend on top of all of their suggestions is mindfulness. Mindfulness has helped me immensely with my anxiety (which is very well-managed) and has helped me learn how to live in the moment instead of fretting about the future or ruminating on the past. I find my boyfriend really appreciates that as I'm generally more cheery and upbeat when I'm with him because I'm focusing on being with him instead of worrying…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/16 05:49 PM
1

My boyfriend is somewhat the same, he has a very relaxed attitude towards making plans and I used to get frustrated by it but I saw how silly that was and now I use the waiting time wisely. Because that means time spent on self-improvement and self-care! I might take the time to read some literature (as suggested by TempestTcup), give myself a manicure, do some meal planning for the week, finish a crafts project, do a face mask, do some yoga, do a workout DVD, pick out a super cute outfit- whate…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/15 11:20 PM
1

Awwwww :) That made me smile. How wonderful to have someone who can make you feel so safe.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/15 07:36 PM
1

I've had these experiences before and in these moments I find it very helpful to do my best to exercise sympathy and understanding. When my friends would tell me that they would never bother making their man breakfast, lunch and dinner and then in the same breath complain that they weren't getting enough attention/affection from him, it would be frustrating to me. Why would he put effort into the relationship when they're clearly not willing to do the same?! But then I would consider it from the…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/15 10:21 PM
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