~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | People with extreme anxiety, how do you manage to cold approach?I would definitely recommend seeing a therapist for CBT. That's what helped me a lot back in the day. You basically work your way up step-by-step with what scares you (i.e. social situations) and challenge your beliefs beforehand vs. the outcome. You can even start doing this on your own, just google CBT worksheet, but I think it's better with a therapist. But I think if you're someone who is anxious in social situations, you do have one big advantage with cold approach that other people don't. … | /r/seduction | 25/07/26 06:26 PM |
| 2 | People with extreme anxiety, how do you manage to cold approach?Are you socially anxious in general or just about this? | /r/seduction | 25/07/26 05:59 PM |
| 5 | Help: Trying to start cold appoach for the first time, but feeling insecure and scared afI disagree with the other guy. Go out and do cold approach now because you will see that even if you get rejected, it's not that bad | /r/seduction | 19/07/26 04:33 AM |
| 1 | How can I get over my approach anxiety?Interesting. Yeah I can see how that would work a lot better, even though it feels like it's harder to do indirect some situations. Will have to test it out | /r/seduction | 19/07/26 04:22 AM |
| 2 | How can I get over my approach anxiety?So you always do indirect? | /r/seduction | 18/07/26 01:28 AM |
| 4 | Overly nice guy cousin. Flipped the script and became “that guy. Here’s a simple formula.I definitely believe this works but it's easier said than done | /r/seduction | 16/07/26 10:24 PM |
| 2 | Field report 5 (approaches 25-31)Ok good to know, I've started using that approach. Where do you usually take it from there tho? Ever since I started using this type of opener, I have a much harder time continuing the conversation, because there isn't a topic that naturally follows from there. | /r/seduction | 16/07/26 10:05 PM |
| 6 | Field report 5 (approaches 25-31)What are your tips for cold approach and starting conversations? | /r/seduction | 16/07/26 12:04 AM |
| 1 | Getting Pussy is too hardThe thing is, if you have poor social skills, then you have to fake it and try to get better at it. | /r/seduction | 16/07/26 12:00 AM |
| 1 | What are good openers in 2026?What type of observations or comments do you make? Like, lets say a woman's standing there, she's wearing regular clothes...what would you say? | /r/seduction | 15/07/26 01:53 AM |
| 3 | Complete lack of validation from women in Toronto as a tall black dude has me depressed af nglPeople here are very reserved and antisocial. You're going to have to approach. Also, I used to get approached by women occasionally. However, I have boyish looks. Now that I'm older, it doesn't happen as much, and I think it's because I look less like a young boy now. I think as a tall black guy that works out, very few women will approach you. You have to remember women are just as nervous as men, or actually way more. They will only approach you if you don't come across as intimidating to the… | /r/seduction | 15/07/26 12:04 AM |
| 1 | What are ways to become wittier/socially quicker besides practice and improv?Thank you, that's helpful and definitely a problem. I do think the lack of anything to say is an additional big problem beyond the execution, because I do just have a blank mind a lot of the time with nothing to say, but I know I also come across very low energy and boring too. Will have to work on this | /r/seduction | 14/07/26 05:39 AM |
| 1 | What are ways to become wittier/socially quicker besides practice and improv?Thank you, I will check that out. And yes, it's definitely a social issue in general and I have been striking up conversations with random people to improve too. I'm pretty inept socially, especially over the last 5 years due to some changes in circumstances and life experiences | /r/seduction | 14/07/26 05:36 AM |
| 1 | What are ways to become wittier/socially quicker besides practice and improv?Those are great, and that's good to know you started from the same point and got to where you're at. I can see how all of those are a lot more fun/interesting for starting a conversation. I am going to have to work on being able to spontaneously come up with these type of things on the fly. I'm a very creative person artistically, but socially, it's like my mind just defaults to the most basic associations and generalizations. I think I'm going to sit down with different topics and come up with … | /r/seduction | 14/07/26 05:31 AM |
| 1 | What are ways to become wittier/socially quicker besides practice and improv?That makes a lot of sense actually. I honestly don't know where to start with that because I'm so far detached from trying to make conversations fun for myself, but I will think this over and how I can get into that frame of mind, because I think you hit the nail on the head. | /r/seduction | 14/07/26 05:30 AM |
| 1 | What are ways to become wittier/socially quicker besides practice and improv?Yeah I'm not forcing it or taking it personal. However, a big problem I was having before and still fall back into is asking interview-style questions, and I find it doesn't work at all for me. Maybe for someone more socially skilled, they can ask questions and find a way to make it interesting, but it leads to very boring interactions for me. I've had interactions where the girl started off interested from my opener and then there was a noticeable shift once I start asking questions. | /r/seduction | 13/07/26 03:13 AM |
| 1 | What are ways to become wittier/socially quicker besides practice and improv?I'm definitely not doing enough. I attempt to start at least one convo every day with a random woman in public, and then a couple times a week I try direct approaches. Today I did 5, but I've never done more than that in a day. I've also been pretty much using all the bad options you mention, so I will need to try those good options. But I still think I will run into the problem that I can't think of anything for those options. For example, if a woman mentions she's from Japan, even sitting here… | /r/seduction | 13/07/26 03:05 AM |
| 1 | Which is better: direct or non direct?Take this with a grain of salt because I'm not very experienced and have poor conversation skills at the moment I think indirect works better but you can only really do it when the opportunity presents itself really. Someone on here told me that if you're opening someone on the street, it needs to be direct, because it's very obvious what you're doing and will seem unnatural if you try coming up with some BS. I think that's right. The only numbers I've gotten have been from indirect, but they we… | /r/seduction | 12/07/26 06:57 PM |
| 1 | Does anyone else in this sub have a stutter but still like cold approaching?I briefly knew a guy with a really bad stutter. Like, it was so bad that it could take like 10-20 seconds to get a word out and he did a special breathing technique to be able to speak. Anyway the guy was very charismatic and he does motivational speaking now. I think the key was also just not giving af, he didn't seem to care or have any shame about it. | /r/seduction | 01/07/26 04:14 PM |
| 1 | Terrified of Day Game Cold approachDo you know where to find Fearless? I was able to find another RSD Max program but couldn't find that one | /r/seduction | 26/06/26 01:37 AM |
| 1 | How to have a non-interview conversation with cold approach?Thank you, that makes sense. I think some of the awkward silences are definitely because I'm not escalating the conversation after an initial good opener. It's like, there's a good start to the convo and then it just never goes anywhere. And yeah, I feel like my openers have been good. The problem is that these are the rare situations where something stands out as a good opportunity for an opener, so they're good because I'm waiting for opportunities where there's an obviously good opening. And … | /r/seduction | 21/06/26 01:57 AM |
| 2 | How to have a non-interview conversation with cold approach?Yeah that makes sense. Mine has been the lame one. I know it's lame but have a hard time thinking of anything different in the moment | /r/seduction | 14/06/26 04:44 PM |
| 1 | How to have a non-interview conversation with cold approach?Thank you, thats helpful. I'm generally a very logical person. Even among guys, coworkers, etc., I don't do well when people are just talking about nonsense or random stuff. So I'm going to have to practice the flirting and raising the vibe. | /r/seduction | 14/06/26 03:57 PM |
| 1 | How to have a non-interview conversation with cold approach?Yeah ideas of what to say never come easily to me. I definitely need to work more humor into what I'm doing but it never comes to me in the moment. I might try to work out some preplanned lines/observations I can use | /r/seduction | 14/06/26 03:54 PM |
| 2 | How to have a non-interview conversation with cold approach?I honestly don't think that was the case. Maybe for some of them, but some were very warm & friendly in the beginning and then became cold/awkward by the end. For example, the girl with the bag came and stood beside me after I opened, and was laughing/smiling. Then once I got into interview questions, her body language changed and she was clearly not interested, and moved away. Idk I feel like I'm pretty good at reading people's reactions because I'm very introverted, observant and analytical. I… | /r/seduction | 14/06/26 03:52 PM |
| 7 | How to have a non-interview conversation with cold approach?This is really helpful, thank you. I think this is exactly the issue, and I'm going to attend an improv class. My ability to build rapport is definitely low. I see a lot of advice that says it just comes down to not filtering yourself, but in my case, I literally have a blank reaction a lot of the time. If someone tells me they're from a country or that they like a certain hobby, the initial thought in my head is either "Oh ok" or maybe a follow-up question, unless it's something I'm particularl… | /r/seduction | 14/06/26 02:52 AM |
| 3 | How to have a non-interview conversation with cold approach?Honestly I wish that was the case but some of them were definitely into it in the beginning and then completely lost interest during the convo. | /r/seduction | 14/06/26 02:47 AM |
| 1 | Friendship game?Yeah makes sense, that's what I was thinking. I'm definitely not that right now. I'll have to start working on it. I've always been the guy that just has a handful of really close friends and chills with them one on one | /r/seduction | 07/06/26 02:06 AM |
| 2 | Friendship game?Yeah that's how I always got girlfriends before - coworkers or colleagues that I got to know over time. It was just very inconsistent/passive for me, but it does work | /r/seduction | 06/06/26 07:35 PM |
| 1 | Looking for wings for downtown Toronto daygameCan't send you a DM but im down | /r/seduction | 06/06/26 01:42 AM |
| 6 | Girls smell your insecurity BEFORE you open your mouthThis is true, but how do you reduce your insecurity without actually trying things out? If you are insecure about women, you will probably never feel confident until you do get some success/experience with them | /r/seduction | 31/05/26 05:18 PM |
| 1 | How to open naturally in everyday normal situations?Thank you. I like the pre-planned situational openers, that does seem better to me, but I will test the direct approaches too and see how it goes. | /r/seduction | 31/05/26 05:07 PM |
| 1 | How to open naturally in everyday normal situations?I'm not arguing for a way to fail, but I am coming at this differently. For me, the main goal is to improve my social skills and success with women so that I'm in a better position one year from now, because my social skills are poor. I'm not looking to fail, but avoiding failure isn't my goal because it's going to be a prerequisite to get better too. I worked in sales last year -- if I did 10 dials a day instead of 200, I would've still been dogshit one year later. | /r/seduction | 31/05/26 05:06 PM |
| 6 | Feeling jadedIdk I see ugly guys with women all the time You're choosing dating apps, which are mostly about looks, and bars/clubs, where you need to have a lot of energy/charisma to stand out. | /r/seduction | 31/05/26 04:56 PM |
| 2 | How to open naturally in everyday normal situations?I understand your points but I just don't really understand why any of that would make it unwise for me to cold approach women I come across randomly day to day? My question wasn't about stopping girls who are running late for a flight or deep in a study session or some other situation where obviously she wouldn't want to talk. It was about how to approach women in situations where there isn't a natural situational opener, which is going to be 95%+ of interactions. That could be a woman you're p… | /r/seduction | 30/05/26 11:25 PM |
| 2 | How to open naturally in everyday normal situations?Yeah definitely, I'm trying to just shoot the shit now and be more talkative in general. It is making things more enjoyable. Based on the advice, I'll probably just try direct openers if I'm passing someone that I want to open but just stick to more natural/situational openers the rest of the time | /r/seduction | 30/05/26 06:32 PM |
| 2 | How to open naturally in everyday normal situations?If I followed that advice, then I would never be able to open any women anywhere, because there's always going to be a chance that they don't want to talk/have a boyfriend/are busy/whatever. Also, most of my opportunities are going to be randomly passing women day-to-day Not to mention, I'm doing this right now primarily to improve my social skills, and I know it's possible to be successful from seeing videos of it | /r/seduction | 30/05/26 06:30 PM |
| 1 | How to open naturally in everyday normal situations?Yeah that makes complete sense and is what I've been feeling, which is that if you stop a girl to compliment her outfit or ask how her day is, it will seem very unnatural and weird. Does that usually apply to stationary sets too where there are logistical barriers? Like if I'm on a bus and notice someone further down, it also seems like it'd be unnatural to walk over and say anything other than something direct | /r/seduction | 30/05/26 06:23 PM |
| 1 | 2 cold approaches + first date todayNo I've done more but 5 now where I asked for the number. And it's not cold approaches tbh, I start up a conversation with a woman at least once a day in public and then if I see the opportunity or the convo continues, I ask for the number. But I'm going to start increasing my frequency | /r/seduction | 28/05/26 02:09 AM |
| 4 | 100% serious: should I give up?What's success to you? You say you failed and your goal is to get a partner, but also that you got a partner doing this. So how did you fail? 5 months is probably longer than the average relationship | /r/seduction | 27/05/26 03:32 AM |
| 1 | 2 cold approaches + first date todayYeah I wasn't trying to do that but I've been approaching women that are by themselves, so I'm probably selecting for those types. I definitely felt like I had to do the heavy lifting on the date. I'm going to test out different approaches and see how it goes. I was worried before about ruining things by doing too much because I've done that in the past, but now I'm just going to try experimenting and see what happens | /r/seduction | 25/05/26 09:09 PM |
| 2 | 2 cold approaches + first date todayThank you! And not really. I'm still getting nervous but it's not like that extreme anxiety I was getting when I first started where it feels impossible to do anything and I can feel my heart beating | /r/seduction | 25/05/26 09:05 PM |
| 1 | 35 and wasting my life awayI was literally in your shoes a month ago. Super unconfident, awkward to the point where people at my jobs don't like talking to me, and feeling hopeless. Well, I'm not going to say I'm 100% confident or non-awkward now, but I've been doing cold approach, gotten a few numbers, and had a first date already from a girl that was enthusiastic to go on it. My advice is start opening conversations with women when there's an obvious opener. I still haven't figured out how to start convos out of nowhere… | /r/seduction | 24/05/26 11:46 PM |
| 2 | Should texting lean more towards friendly or chill/casual?Yeah I'm going to try experimenting with text. I do need to be more fun, but its all new to me | /r/seduction | 24/05/26 10:22 PM |
| 1 | Should texting lean more towards friendly or chill/casual?Thank you, that's good to know. And yes I'm overthinking it but more to learn for the future so I can get better | /r/seduction | 24/05/26 03:23 AM |
| 2 | Postpone rainy date or no?Thank you. Yeah there are some dog friendly places but most are only on the patios or shitty food court places | /r/seduction | 22/05/26 04:15 PM |
| 1 | Postpone rainy date or no?Thank you. What's the reason changing the plan is better than pushing back a day? I feel like the plan was solid and shes spending a lot of time with the dog so was happy to bring him. | /r/seduction | 22/05/26 04:14 PM |
| 2 | Got my first number from complete cold approach (Field Report)Thank you, man! I appreciate the tips and encouragment. Your name seems familiar, I think I've looked over your advice before. I'm going to try being more direct. I think its an insecurity I have, that I need to find some way to naturally open the conversation and not just own my interests. It's the same thing behind not wanting to approach initially, and I will have to get past it. I definitely need to be more bold. The flirting advice is great, I will try that out. I am glad to read about the … | /r/seduction | 19/05/26 11:09 PM |
| 1 | Started up my first completely random conversation with a woman (what I learned)Great advice and tips! Looking forward to getting to the point where I can get into the flow of the conversation too. I can definitely see the underwhelming convo part you talk about already but my focus for the time being is just on doing it and using the opportunity to develop my skills. Just going to take it slow and try every day | /r/seduction | 11/05/26 02:37 AM |
| 1 | Started up my first completely random conversation with a woman (what I learned)That's awesome, glad to hear that! Give it a shot if you haven't already. After doing this, I can't believe I didn't start earlier. The reality is way less than whatever is built up in your head. | /r/seduction | 11/05/26 01:34 AM |
| 3 | Started up my first completely random conversation with a woman (what I learned)I would've asked more emotional/interesting questions that tied back to her or give more of my opinions. The main thing was that I asked questions or made observations about her dog, like why it was wearing an outfit while it was super warm out, which were conversation starters, but I never took it anywhere. So it was just meaningless small talk. For example, she said she was waiting for her dog to go to the washroom but she wasn't going. I could've made some joke about that like I feel like the… | /r/seduction | 10/05/26 05:43 PM |
| 1 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?Thank you, that app looks really helpful, will give it a shot | /r/seduction | 26/03/26 11:44 PM |
| 1 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?Thank you man, I appreciate it | /r/seduction | 23/03/26 11:55 PM |
| 1 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?Yeah that actually makes a lot of sense. I'm definitely overly serious. Not even just due to the job, but I've been in a lot of environments where I have to be hyper-vigilant about things. I'm going to have to figure a way to break out of this mindset/frame of behavior. People often have a harsh reaction to me, like they'll be smiling and then stop right when I start talking, and it's probably because I come across this way | /r/seduction | 23/03/26 11:54 PM |
| 2 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?Appreciate it man! And I would say it's both of those things you mentioned, but the first one is definitely more of a problem. I think it's like my default state is very socially inept. Then when I try to compensate or correct for that, it comes across very unnaturally and awkward. I'm going to add back in the CBT too but everything you said about the inner work made a lot of sense as the missing piece, as I have gone through CBT before and it never fully resolved everything | /r/seduction | 23/03/26 12:43 AM |
| 1 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?Honestly that's like a last resort for me. I can see it working but I'm very hesitant to try anything that involves my brain like that. One of my GFs also developed schizophrenia before, so I've seen the downside of what could be triggered. I'm glad it did work out for you though and had such a positive impact. | /r/seduction | 23/03/26 12:19 AM |
| 1 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?No I gave the wrong impression. The cold calls wasn't to work on my issues with approaching women, it was just an example of something I did, where I have the same issue (inability to build rapport/be charismatic), did a high-volume of repetition, and was still not able to resolve the issue just through repetition. I definitely have to do more volume/repetition for talking to women either way, you're correct about that, but it's not like I've avoided it entirely. Same with trying to network. I'v… | /r/seduction | 23/03/26 12:15 AM |
| 2 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?Yeah for sure. My goal isn't even to be normal or anything, but at least be able to not be awkward socially in 99% of interactions. I didn't care so much before but it's definitely hindering me romantically, career-wise, and so many other ways. My buddy's a psychotherapist so I'll see if he can connect me with someone good for PTSD and go from there. | /r/seduction | 22/03/26 08:38 PM |
| 1 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?Idk if it will tbh but I will be doing martial arts soon either way once my wrist rehab is done | /r/seduction | 22/03/26 08:32 PM |
| 2 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?Thank you, I will look into that. I was thinking I may have PTSD And yeah I'm completely comfortable talking about it, as long as it's in a situation where it would make sense to do so | /r/seduction | 22/03/26 07:58 PM |
| 2 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?I don't think so. I did do CBT therapy with a psychiatrist one time and that did help me a lot, but it was more focused on putting myself in social situations and becoming more comfortable with them back when it made me anxious. So I probably still have underlying unresolved trauma or it at least shaped my present-day personality. I'm not really sure how to address that, I was going to try hypnosis. | /r/seduction | 22/03/26 07:09 PM |
| 2 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?That makes sense and I definitely agree. I honestly have this issue across all social interactions though, it's just hindering me with women. But it also happens with men, co-workers, etc. | /r/seduction | 22/03/26 06:55 PM |
| 2 | How to develop chill, low-key confidence and charisma, when repetition doesn't work?Yeah I definitely think it's similar to being autistic. It's not genetic - I was actually much different as a child even though I was still introverted, but I went through some traumatic life experiences in my life and my personality developed this way over the years. I feel autistic now, in the sense that I have trouble figuring out social dynamics. However, I'm still like this consistently in all social situations, excluding my close friends or a GF. It's even worse with men tbh, I usually can… | /r/seduction | 22/03/26 06:54 PM |
| 2 | How to be interesting? I'm starting to think this is the biggest missing puzzle piece for seductionYeah this is what I was getting at and this is great advice. Creating an emotional journey and doing things in an interesting way explains what's missing from what I'm talking about. The hiking examples are helpful, I can see the difference that makes. I honestly do not have a ton of interesting thoughts that specifically lend themselves to conversation. I have a notebook full of story ideas and I have a lot of opinions and thoughts on certain subjects, but in terms of the type of thoughts that … | /r/seduction | 26/11/24 05:12 AM |
| 2 | How to be interesting? I'm starting to think this is the biggest missing puzzle piece for seductionmy hobbies: hiking, traveling, writing, reading, photography, walking, exploring nature, hanging out with friends I don't think women find too many hobbies attractive in themselves. I don't think there's anything wrong with my hobbies, but I don't think saying you like to do any of that stuff is interesting to women, unless you are doing something very unique or notable. Even if I swap those hobbies out for other hobbies, like going to the gym or learning languages, its not interesting. There's … | /r/seduction | 26/11/24 01:04 AM |
| 3 | How to be interesting? I'm starting to think this is the biggest missing puzzle piece for seductionNo I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying that I believe women are attracted to that and it's hard to portray other interesting parts of your character online or in brief encounters. Like people's hobbies, jobs, likes, basics opinions on things, and day-to-day lives are not very interesting, and women are seeking someone that interests them. | /r/seduction | 26/11/24 12:55 AM |
| 2 | How to stop being so monotone?I have the same problem I second Roger Love. Still going through his book but he's a renowned vocal coach that helps with this process Smiling or laughing helps, even if you don't change your voice. Part of the problem with a monotone voice is that you seem unhappy, miserable, or angry. I realized part of the reason why some people don't seem friendly to me is because I don't look friendly. If you can change that impression, then you will get better results. My voice is monotone and my face is p… | /r/seduction | 02/11/24 02:30 PM |
| 1 | Resources for how to approach naturally? Haven't seen this discussed muchI've heard a lot about this over the years, I will have to try it out | /r/seduction | 02/11/24 12:10 AM |
| 2 | Resources for how to approach naturally? Haven't seen this discussed muchThank you I will check that out | /r/seduction | 01/11/24 05:03 PM |
| 1 | Resources for how to approach naturally? Haven't seen this discussed muchYeah but I feel some approaches have to be better than others. My mind always goes to their looks or asking a boring basic question (hows it going? having a good day?). And if I try to think of something, then it seems forced or corny. Not saying these approaches couldn't work but I don't think they're for the best. | /r/seduction | 01/11/24 03:46 PM |
| 3 | Resources for how to approach naturally? Haven't seen this discussed muchThat make sense about the energy. I do actually have an easy time talking to old folks but I find they always like me, so idk if that will help me with conversation starters so much, but I will definitely try to keep that energy | /r/seduction | 01/11/24 03:41 PM |
| 3 | What To Do When A Girl Looks At YouWhat's the line between making eye contact and staring? | /r/seduction | 26/10/24 05:40 PM |
| 3 | An indifferent manI've been thinking about this a lot. 2 weeks ago, I fumbled two attractive women that were basically throwing themselves at me for sex. I got some great advice on here that clicked things, and now I've been thinking about this a lot and reading more about it. Looking back on my past experiences, the women that I've got with was always when I wasn't trying. Now, it wasn't good game on my part and it wasn't that I was disinterested; I was just so incompetent that they couldn't tell if I was into t… | /r/seduction | 20/10/24 01:19 PM |
| 1 | Do baddies want to be treated badly. And nice girls wants to be treated nicely.I don't have a ton of experience, so I will defer to anyone who does, but in my own personal experience, it's been the opposite. I think hotter girls are more likely to have a bigger dating history and been burned by assholes, whereas average girls are more likely to be insecure and think you're shit/a loser for being too nice to them. | /r/seduction | 20/10/24 12:44 PM |
| 3 | Gonna try going to a bar completely solo this Friday. Mid-30’s, a bit shy, any advice?I would say just count it as a success if you go to the bar, whether or not you meet someone, because it's hard to meet people in that environment. It's a bit of an awkward experience if you're not outgoing or there with someone. Most people are in groups too, so it can be hard to strike up a conversation. Also easy to seem lame if you're just sitting there on your phone, so I'd either watch a game on the TV, write in a notebook, read a book, etc. That way, you look more like a solitary person t… | /r/seduction | 13/10/24 02:20 PM |
| 1 | Striking the balance between not being eager but not being standoffish?Yeah I'm over feeling bad about missing out, but I do feel pretty shitty about how I handled it now. I never thought about it from a female perspective like that and really didn't get it until now. Tbh I have a lot of deep-seated issues specifically around dating that I will need to get over through practice. I don't have a lot of dating experience, so when I do find myself in these situations, I feel like I'm in there completely blind and like any move could go wrong, and just have no clue what… | /r/seduction | 11/10/24 05:28 PM |
| 1 | Striking the balance between not being eager but not being standoffish?Thank you, I appreciate the in-depth analysis. That's really helpful. That's interesting that this pretty much comes down to not fucking her. I was honestly hyper-focusing on the texting the whole time and thinking that's where I fucked up, I didn't realize how much of a misstep that was or how bad that might've made her feel. So in the future, your advice would be to push for sex and properly set dates, and the rest of the stuff that happened here is more-or-less irrelevant or not too much of a… | /r/seduction | 11/10/24 04:10 PM |
| 1 | Striking the balance between not being eager but not being standoffish?Alright here's the full scenario... Came to a small town. Without describing in detail the specifics of where I was, there's a girl I see in my daily routine at her job and she's clearly interested in me, always smiling, finding excuses to talk to me. I asked if she wanted to grab something to eat one night. She said lets go to a club. We go later that night. We have some drinks, chat (nothing too deep for the most part, because there's a language barrier). Most of it was joking/flirting or aski… | /r/seduction | 11/10/24 01:22 PM |
| 1 | Striking the balance between not being eager but not being standoffish?I think its cause I was needy tbh, maybe interest was the wrong word. These were girls that were openly interested in me before I pursued them, so it wasn't that I'm ugly | /r/seduction | 11/10/24 12:52 PM |
| 2 | Striking the balance between not being eager but not being standoffish?Yeah I won't completely change. I just meant more in the sense that I'll make it more clear when I'm interested. I can see a naturally outgoing/expressive person not having the same issue, but my expression/affectation is always very neutral, so the 2nd girl probably didn't think I was interested in her at all. One of my past GFs said she was very confused with whether I liked her or not initially. | /r/seduction | 10/10/24 12:09 PM |
| 3 | Striking the balance between not being eager but not being standoffish?This is really great and explains everything perfectly. I think I've always gone between showing pure interest or not showing interest, so that explains exactly what's missing and why I always get poor results from both. Both your reads on the scenarios are dead-on. For the first one, I was just trying to have fun on the date and didn't really qualify her at all. She was definitely still into me after the date but then when it was clear I was really into her, it probably came across poorly becau… | /r/seduction | 10/10/24 03:14 AM |
| 3 | Striking the balance between not being eager but not being standoffish?Thank you, I appreciate the time you put into this and you're right, I should've done it in-person both times. The second one, there's not too much else to describe beyond that I didn't ask her out while there. The first one, I definitely should've gone into more detail but there was really one point where she went from being all over me through text (sending me good morning/good night texts after the date, asking my plans for the day, etc.) to being completely uninterested after I asked if she … | /r/seduction | 10/10/24 02:50 AM |
| 1 | Striking the balance between not being eager but not being standoffish?Yeah I will lean more towards that in the future. My natural inclement is to appear very unemotional and inexpressive so idk if it's coming across as timid but maybe just completely uninterested, that might be the problem | /r/seduction | 10/10/24 02:40 AM |
| -1 | Striking the balance between not being eager but not being standoffish?That's interesting. So you believe it's just a crapshoot if they have avoidant or anxious attachment styles? | /r/seduction | 09/10/24 05:04 PM |
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