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lasttuesdaystacos Archive

View 6 posts and 92 comments by lasttuesdaystacos on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/20 01:04 PM
1

Thanks. Im getting it tested on thursday
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/20 05:41 PM
1

OYS #3 35 175lbs, good lifts, BF probably 11 or 12. Abs hinted. Have read all sidebar, 101 and advanced reads. Wife 36, 145 pounds, 3 little boys PHYSICAL: I won my BJJ tournament at intermediate level this last weekend that I trained for for the last 3 months. I used MY game and drew the opponents in and dominated standup and ground game. Assisted in coaching teammates. Loved it. Feel that my training is going well. I have several areas I know I need to explore for rounding out my game. I’ve be…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/20 01:42 PM
1

Also thanks for the link. I see myself in phase 1.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/20 04:20 PM
1

Thanks for the feedback. I agree i need to push my comfort zone outward from this point - but having no interaction while i develop winning interactions, will build up what im trying to create slowly. Also it provides a protracted line of demarkation between beta me and self driven me. Good point re: no need to counter small shit ever
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/20 04:19 PM
1

OYS #2 35 175pounds 12% BF. 5x5 bench: 205, dead lift 275. Wife 36, Married 5 years. Kids 8, 4, 1.5 all boys. Read Side bar, pre-reqs and 101 I am currently across the country on orders. Have not been home for a month, will be home in a couple weeks. General Mood: Into Rational Male third book, Positive Masculinity, and was hoping for something resoundingly uplifting based on the title but its straight to the depths and recesses of psychosexual motivations and the great duplicity that is life. I…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/20 02:36 AM
1

35 yo male. 175pounds 13% BF. Married 5 years 3 kids. I have made several posts in the forum over a couple of years. I made a lot of progress in self-improvement professionally and physically but I made zero progress with frame. I let myself believe that I was making progress with frame, but I have just been a bitch who was trying to convince my wife I had frame. From now on I am going to try to do one of these weekly. I have gone through WISNIG, NMMNG, Married Man sex life primer, Rational Male…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/20 02:26 AM
2

Challenge accepted
/r/askMRP09/01/20 09:48 AM
1

Thanks. This has been a wake up call. Ive realuzed that a lot of my self improvement efforts have been done "for her" so to speak, which defeats the point. My absorbtion of material has been poor. I sincerely hope im not an idiot and its just been ego blocking me and not enough consistent opportunity to practice due to travel. Since this episode ive reread several books and am finally i feel, approaching things from the right direction. I hope if i post again in a while it will be positive. Than…
/r/askMRP09/01/20 09:36 AM
1

Love it. Def the goal in this relationship or next
/r/askMRP02/01/20 07:14 PM
2

Close to that. But she seemed very happy when i came home with plans and schedule that took her doings into account already and built on them. With instant communication it mitigates a lot of distance challenges but its also very easy to say shes being bitchy im going to go to the gym and not answer phone and then not go home to her instead go home to hotel im staying at. Whereas at home theres much more contact.
/r/askMRP02/01/20 05:39 PM
1

Yes. I think what im learning right now is that normal shit test comfort test solutions are not quite right. I think that in healthy circumstances the shit test tests frame, but here my wife is attempting to wrest control of frame from me. Its the same thing but it lasts longer. I think her survival instinct is that she has a better chance in the relationship if the relationship sucks but she is in control of it. Its hard for me to simultaneously reassure her that i want her to be happy and safe…
/r/askMRP02/01/20 03:52 PM
1

Shes not bad but she is a year and half older. I married her when i was young and lonely, off a period of frequent deployments and struggling with alcohol and low self esteem. I could do much better now.
/r/askMRP02/01/20 03:45 PM
2

Yup
/r/askMRP02/01/20 03:29 PM
1

Yup
/r/askMRP02/01/20 03:27 PM
1

Thanks very much!
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/19 12:40 AM
1

Thanks thats a big thing to think about
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 11:13 PM
1

Would love feedback: I am 35. I got into this subreddit about 2 years ago and what I got out of it was how much i had let myself go. It put me back on track and in those two years I started BJJ and got promoted fast and started winning tournaments. I lost 35 pounds from 210 to 175. I was picked up for an enlisted to officer program and now my career is what I always wanted it to be. My marriage has gotten a lot better from my perspective. Instead of arguing with my wife and going crazy trying to…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 09:14 PM
1

I have observed that the most common reason men are here is because the bedroom developed symptoms of their relinquishing a proper grasp on life. The next reason people are here is due to a disrespectful spouse / boundary issues. When there is not conflict we have sex 3 times a week or more but we have been in a state of constant conflict for a couple of months and sex has been once a week and not the best quality - - - but it stems from my failure to cultivate respect, not physical attraction (…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/19 07:38 AM
1

My wife can be super disrespectful too. I used to always just try to take the impact of the disrespect and absorb it somehow and not react, thus being stoic - - - it took me doing that for a while to realize that no matter how hard i tried, I could not bury the cummulative trauma of being disrespected for very long and I would eventually get angry. Then sometimes when I put her in her place it is after I've held it in too long and I come across too harshly and then I am the bad guy. ​ So then I …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/19 02:47 PM
1

That's a bit out of context but ok
/r/askMRP22/07/18 04:18 AM
1

Thanks man, awesome
/r/askMRP22/07/18 03:16 AM
1

Awesome points thank you
/r/askMRP21/07/18 09:57 PM
1

Yup thanks for the time to tell me things I need to hear
/r/askMRP21/07/18 09:56 PM
1

Yup
/r/askMRP21/07/18 04:12 PM
1

Yeah. So being recovering nice guy this is a stack of issues. It's easy I think to project yourself and your spouse into someone else's story. My wife is a mega bitch and I'm 50% unpacked and 50% more to go. It is not easy to see where and how standing my ground/defending boundary is correct, where calmly taking affronts and leading by example is correct.
/r/askMRP21/07/18 03:52 PM
1

Yes - I fucked up and need to put pride down and fix it and get back to where I'm supposed to be. I probably should let that be the end of it.
/r/askMRP21/07/18 03:49 PM
-2

Sure, but it's much more nuanced. It's more the value gained by a perspective shift allowed by taking a 12 hour break from each other is greater than the support I can render, possibly, for those 12 hours
/r/askMRP21/07/18 03:23 PM
2

I wish I were a troll too!
/r/askMRP21/07/18 02:39 PM
1

That is a rock solid strategy.
/r/askMRP21/07/18 02:26 PM
2

Harsh but correct you are
/r/askMRP21/07/18 02:24 PM
2

They're at home. That's a good idea. They've seen us fighting and I hate that.
/r/askMRP21/07/18 02:24 PM
1

There is this power struggle dynamic that's overlaid underneath the frustration/post partum events/emotional events. I've been leaving nice guy behind and she has been fighting it. But no fights have come of it until now. I've just walked if she got too aggressive. When we "fight" it is my fault because it means somewhere I took bait or let's my emotions take over.
/r/askMRP21/07/18 02:22 PM
1

I just reviewed. Sounds like my wife! I just had a good sleep and good dinner last night. I'm headed back. Thanks,
/r/askMRP21/07/18 02:18 PM
1

You're right
/r/askMRP21/07/18 02:17 PM
1

Thanks. For some reason being emotional leads me to over intelectualize and think rigidly... probably a way to cope with the chaos of emotions. And so intellectual structures are built on a shitty foundation. A feeling of shame at knowing I was wrong makes it harder to take it all back and start over.
/r/askMRP21/07/18 02:09 PM
1

Well that exact thought is what caused a shitload of stress. "I need to stay I cant leave". Fact is she is a highly capable mom and she benefited from my absence for a day. We both needed to clear heads. I think that now I'm awake that what you describe is my plan. Get home and just get back to work.
/r/askMRP21/07/18 02:05 PM
3

I had this same issue. Still working it out but I think I got some major insights. A lot of it is well presented in nmmng. Where my anger was coming from was a lot of me basing my life on expectations that were not internal. I'm mad in traffic because I'm sitting in it for someone else etc... once I realized that I made tremendous gains correlating my anger to other people's expectations that consciously I pursued while subconciously detesting. I've dropped a lot of fake persona at work where I …
/r/askMRP14/07/18 03:01 AM
1

Very good.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/18 12:13 AM
3

You are over intelectualizing because you feel alienated from your true self. The definition of ego. People crave truth but are deceived into false promises through fear of responsibility and due to the prompting and pushing of long distant trauma. Every day become more self aware. All of your intectualizing is bullshit. How about have a conversation with yourself "what do I truly want" "what will make my brain shut off so I can access my feelings again" Read on psychoanalysis. Carl jung is grea…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/18 11:29 PM
1

Great stuff. I broke a finger and am out of BJJ for a few months. Its killing me! Did it the whole last year and competed a few times at low to intermediate level and just cleaned. I I wrestled in highschool over a decade ago, and never stopped to think that as an adult i could keep going strong with a sport like that. I have my oldest (7) involved already. Indirectly related to your thoughts on oversharing: I always feel like its a quiet victory when I go through an ordeal and i don't share it …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/18 08:37 AM
2

The win-win: you look better/feel better, and you are also planting seeds for possibilities you dont imagine yet. You say that you do not want to leave now, but your evolution is only beginning.More gym time, more books. Think about what you want from life every day and find yourself moving in that direction. Good luck!
/r/askMRP03/06/18 05:53 AM
1

Not the later, but ive read a lot of rollo's blog and watched some podcasts.
/r/askMRP25/05/18 02:04 PM
1

This is what I'm figuring out. It's a real push and pull to establish boundaries when you've spent decades with women on a pedestool because you are an idiot. I have made gains in the last year. A year ago I had the same problems but I was clueless to their causes.
/r/askMRP25/05/18 02:44 AM
1

Thanks for the reminder.
/r/askMRP24/05/18 09:17 PM
2

I feel this one. It describes exactly where I see my solution.
/r/askMRP24/05/18 09:16 PM
1

You are spot on. My wife gets hyperbolic in her reactions.. i was pleased at going a week without breaking.
/r/askMRP24/05/18 09:15 PM
1

I meant to include "I think all women are/have potential to be bpd". That's what's been on my mind "does she have a complex where this shit just wont work, or, is this what every female would get too, perhaps my wife slightly worse than others, when confronted by my lingering manchild character flaws. Thanks, (edited to correct spellchecker)
/r/askMRP24/05/18 06:42 PM
0

33 years old. Wife 34. Married 3 years. Baby on way + a 2 year old + her 7 year old from previous. 7 year old believes I'm his dad as have been with his mom since he was 1.5 and doesn't know. In Navy active duty. Married bluepill. Wouldn't do it again w a post wall single mom for all the well founded reasons, but love my boys, want them to have 2 parents. want to be oak and make my situation best it can be. 195 lbs, high muscularity. A couple weeks of ketogenic diet away from a six pack. Sl5x5 B…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/18 07:59 AM
1

good work. I frequently come here and read up but I'm also aware there's a risk of depersonalizing my own situation and projecting internet reading derived frames onto it. I think it's natural when you are digesting an idea to visualize it's implications in your life and if you don't consciously measure the new perspective and decide how to incorporate it carefully there's a risk of feeling disingenuous- which is a sure sign you're not living from your Self, but from a vicariously inflated ego.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/18 05:38 AM
1

I lift religiously, and run miles a day and practice martial arts. This whole thing seems like an algebraic equation with no solution. - - - I can perform all the dog and pony tricks time and over again but I hit a wall. In the past I would get angry. Ive put holes in drywall and thrown things across the room. Not good. Now I just emotionally and sometimes physically ghost. How do you take so much offense, disrespect and injury and just make it vanish? So there is progress being made in myself, …
/r/askMRP15/02/18 07:14 PM
1

What I can't figure out with all this talk of being an oak, where this anger is supposed to go. If she were a dude, we would have fought by now. So I affect stoicism and calmness and playfulness and AA and it works 9 times in a row, but I can't ignore that it is building up an anger in me that has no place to go. It is like being slapped in the face over and over again. In the past I would eventually snap. Now I am not doing that I am just becoming indifferent.
/r/askMRP15/02/18 07:09 PM
1

Two nights ago we had a discussion where she lectured me that I should have put half the apple sauces I bought into room temperature storage and only some into the refrigerator, because placing them in the refrigerator would cause them to spoil faster. I said no I don't think that's correct, but Im willing to google it and I believed that she had been living under a false impression of how food spoilage works for many years. To this she accused me of being a sexist who will never agree that a wo…
/r/askMRP15/02/18 03:59 PM
1

I'm military. the value proposition for my wife is there is something enduring I provide before and after. I give plans and measured steps for us to take while I'm gone and for when I get back. I've had other ltrs in military and frankly sometimes you there + plans is enough and sometimes you NOT there + plans is not the same. women like direction. you're a soldier on campaigning though. find the healthy masculinity there. read meditations by Marcus aurelius (mattis keeps this book at his bedsid…
/r/askMRP27/01/18 03:44 AM
1

this is eerily similar to my situation. I made two posts on askmrp describing my trials recently. eventually she always comes around. my strategy at best right now is to weather storms until point b, where her hormones bring her back to apologetic and kind. is AA and stfu best? maybe sometimes. it doesn't matter what I do in the end though. with pregnancy you're dealing with a new person and need to find tactics that cause the least harm. if she wasn't pregnant I'd be gone for some of the shit s…
/r/askMRP27/01/18 03:03 AM
1

unfortunately you are probably spot on.
/r/askMRP19/01/18 02:13 PM
1

you are right
/r/askMRP19/01/18 01:16 PM
1

maybe. but nobody has to believe me.
/r/askMRP19/01/18 05:22 AM
1

I don't expect them to. I will follow it and be the best leader I know how to be. I may fail to inspire but what is more important, I followed my vision or I convinced others to believe in it? I have been reading Joseph Campbell lately. in the bit I read before bed last night he talks about the recurring myth of the hero that comes out of the woods/his adventure, and the treasure he carried with him turns to ash. I want to cite this feeling that we can carry the richest valued treasure and never…
/r/askMRP19/01/18 05:10 AM
1

I think it's as simple as you describe it. for me it also includes modelling this behavior for a long enough time that my wife sees a lead to follow
/r/askMRP19/01/18 12:05 AM
1

mutually exclusive concepts
/r/askMRP18/01/18 09:27 PM
1

I agree with this. I would like to embrace this opportunity to improve. Divorce is not off the table later, but not as a knee jerk... even though the pattern set does not imply a knee jerk as she has been like this off and on for a while. I would like to finish this duty station and arrange living where a divorce would be conducive to the kids having me around for the long haul. Its not really right now. We cant afford two rents in san diego, especially if we are going to be spending money on la…
/r/askMRP18/01/18 09:26 PM
1

I may PM you if you don't mind.
/r/askMRP18/01/18 06:40 PM
1

Yes to I lack alpha and I lack frame. No to a fucked up perspective that women like captains of industry. What I do business wise is for my family yes, but it is for me. It is the arbitrary fill in the blank of follow your bliss. My end goal in pursuits is not to be attractive, but the characteristics I present while following my pursuits will be attractive if they are correct. I understand I have a LOT of work to do on building my character and frankly, a lot of GREAT insight has been provided …
/r/askMRP18/01/18 06:40 PM
1

I don't have any way to establish credibility if you choose to discount what I present. I am not being bombastic, only descriptive. A lot of what you say I agree with. I do need to reprioritize, but I also need to get the ship out of the storm first. Im career Navy and attached to a ship, on duty every fourth day, working 65 hours a week. I can't cut back on that. I also don't make jack for salary <100k. I need to build business for my family to be secure. I bought two homes in 2011, and 2012, t…
/r/askMRP18/01/18 06:34 PM
1

I agree that those are superficial characteristics of what alphas tend to be in aggregate. My dream is not your dream. If dreams are supposed to be something categorically alpha, then the whole thing is a farce. My dream is mine for my reasons and that's enough of that. Women being attracted to me is not a problem, nor is it really a concern. I don't value the end game of women being attracted to me as the end itself. That is a desperate cycle of desire. Yes, I agree that in being the man I want…
/r/askMRP18/01/18 06:12 PM
1

I have not. Even if I did the right things today, leadership takes time. He says he's got this on lockdown after 20 years. I believe him. She trusts him. My wife does not trust me yet. I need the depth of history to confirm that I am a leader. I am here to learn.
/r/askMRP18/01/18 03:28 AM
1

its definitely ironic when you explain it out like that
/r/askMRP18/01/18 03:25 AM
1

Thanks very much for your time and conversation!
/r/askMRP18/01/18 03:22 AM
1

Yes - you are where I want to be. The difference is the trust. The trust comes from your strong relationship leadership, and also from a track record and her experience. I need both of those things. It is also possible you have a legup in conditioning/upbringing/chemical equilibrium of spouse. I read stories from other people and I know that people rarely share the worst of their personal experiences, but I can't help but feel that my spouse in particular is a nutbag's nutbag.
/r/askMRP18/01/18 02:27 AM
1

So I am active duty Navy. It is hardly my choices that drive the arduousness of our lifestyle. I am always giving pep talks "its going to be ahrd here, we'll have a rbeak here, we'll get through this, we'll have this opportunity here..." and people stay on board. My wife hates it sometimes and loves it other times. But there is no commitment from her to get through the rough times pleasantly. She tells me what she thinks all the time. Sometimes she hates me. That is something I have to accept. I…
/r/askMRP18/01/18 02:21 AM
1

thank you Mr. Holmes. I admire your tenacity.
/r/askMRP18/01/18 02:08 AM
1

I disagree, one fart and they are contaminated. you are naïve to think high SMV means no farting
/r/askMRP18/01/18 02:06 AM
1

Thank you for the very wise words. I travel very frequently and any given week I am gone at least two nights, plus the family has moved 4 times in 3 years. We do the best we can with two young kids, but there is a ton of resentment that has built up in my wife. She needs to put on her big girls pants though. We are all sacrificing. As long as the kids feel loved, secure, and healthy, we are on track. My vision includes front loading a lot of the work for our life to come. I have not managed crew…
/r/askMRP18/01/18 12:59 AM
1

I walk the walk and always have. I have described by endeavors in other responses. The gyst of what I am saying is in agreement with what you describe. I am not sure what value you are adding by changing my stated course into an accusation of what I need to do. Men use logic to communicate. I am being precise, not hiding fact or giving useless detail, and this is not how I would talk to a female unless she was an interested business partner or an employee with high efficacy. What did your big se…
/r/askMRP18/01/18 12:19 AM
2

Thank you. This is where I am striving for and I am not in denial of where I currently am.
/r/askMRP18/01/18 12:09 AM
1

I do need to do this, but I believe that step 1 is to fix my emotional maturity and demonstrate commitment to that same civility for a period of time, while achieving an Oak demeanor to a much greater extent than I have demonstrated to present. You are 100% correct.
/r/askMRP18/01/18 12:09 AM
-1

That's patently false and particularly disgusting. Why would I want dirty underwear thrown at me and all the potential lawsuits that entails in today's environment? My perfect world is where I have money, I exercise a deeply realized freedom of expression, I have time for physical, spiritual and mental growth, and I manage a business empire. I can always buy any pussy I want but that is not the point. I sometimes hate my wife with a passion, but that hatred is a failure in self-control, just lik…
/r/askMRP18/01/18 12:01 AM
1

Thank you I might! Before posting I realized that the bulk of comments would be surface level of what I was trying to convey. Im not denying my mistakes, nor am I ashamed of them. However, I am excited knowing that I have found an area for personal growth and the potential it has.
/r/askMRP17/01/18 11:58 PM
2

Thanks - that is where I am headed. I am fully internalizing the folly of being responsive to her expert button pushing and I feel so much stronger now than I did a year ago, but I have a LONG way to go.
/r/askMRP17/01/18 11:55 PM
1

Taking high road is easier now that she is pregnant because I am personally motivated in not working her up further and getting my digs in because I want her relaxed and healthy. It is also showing me clearly how better an outcome it is and it is great practice for long term self development. Im an MBA/Navy Engineer/BA psych/BA history with practiced hobbies in Martial Arts, Music and Reading, I run an ecommerce business and Own 9 rental units at age 33. I am not a robot. I am a man with a wife …
/r/askMRP17/01/18 11:52 PM
1

Previously, at my worst, I would engage and reciprocate and lose my temper. Currently, I disregard and act like she is not using those words. I immediately withdraw time and attention without appearing offended. I up dread. Right now she can get away with it. I am digging myself out of a hole and it will not happen overnight.
/r/askMRP17/01/18 09:12 PM
1

Thank you. I didn't even realize it. This is helpful.
/r/askMRP17/01/18 08:23 PM
1

That is interesting! And I think you are right. However, I think that my finding business and wealth creation to be a personal calling, and then pursuing that IS an Alpha thing. For her it is a Beta thing. She sees steady and predicatble being compromised. She does not mind me working hard and taking risk, but not so much risk that she wonders if her beta will lose his ability to provide. I did not think of it quite like this. I subscribe to the thinking that Beta behavior conducted by an alpha …
/r/askMRP17/01/18 08:19 PM
0

I don't see how it does that. She is within the realm of concern because we have children together and are having another child. My post is a discussion of me realizing my vision. I am duty bound to her by my own defining of what my duties are, but like a parent for a child, not for her approval. I am also discussing how it has been a challenge for me not to respond emotionally to antagonistic and hostile confrontations from my wife. I am not ashamed that I have made many stupid bitch mistakes, …
/r/askMRP17/01/18 08:09 PM
1

Sure, those are fine points - and there is nothing to say that those are not my actions. I am in fact using an LLC. The theme here is a situation where she hates me because of what I am doing, and my struggle to be OK with that she hates me, and how I am modeling my approach to that. At the same time, despite her hating me, I am doing my best to mitigate stress to her due to pregnancy. The post also discusses a progression that I have made from being Beta to at least realizing my deficiencies, a…
/r/askMRP17/01/18 08:04 PM
1

The details were provided because they were implied relevant and absent.
/r/askMRP17/01/18 07:55 PM
0

Yeah, and those are the things I forgot when wife was preggo with baby 1. I turned chunky and soft. MRP woke me up to these facts. The leadership in my post, which people are hesitant to see because its mixed in with things that at the surface look weak and forced, is that this is about me, not about her. I am attempting to do something very challenging. She is going to ahte me no matter what until it is done. I need to navigate a shit storm in business and at home. When I do this 3-5 times by G…
/r/askMRP17/01/18 07:23 PM
1

I realize it is easy to see my post in that light. This is not about physical attraction and bedroom dominance. This is about navigating my organization from point a to point b. If I was not creating stress for my family then yes I could go paycheck to paycheck with a 401k and yearly vacation and happy babies and happy fucked wife - - but that's not what I am doing. I am following my vision of growth. My wife is in over her head and does nto trust me YET. My post is sex aside, attraction aside, …
/r/askMRP17/01/18 07:20 PM
1

I realize and expect this post to be a punching bag so I do recognize and appreciate the critical view. Perhaps details are necessary. I have been working on one deal that leads to another deal that leads to another deal. I have been only successful in the past. When my wife married me I had 3 cash producing properties. I have leveraged them and reinvested into a large commercial building bought at good value. She does not like the leveraging of cash producing assets that increase monthly expedi…
/r/askMRP17/01/18 07:16 PM
2

thanks for sharing that comment
/r/askMRP14/01/18 03:15 PM
3

That's interesting. I have made a lot of gains, lurking and practicing here for about 8 months, but she is quicker than ever to be super shitty and disrespectful. Have you thought anything about what to do about that?
/r/askMRP14/01/18 03:01 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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