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lifeline8tango Archive

View 1 post and 24 comments by lifeline8tango on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

lifeline8tango/r/Divorce_Men13/08/19 02:44 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Yup, I almost work for free, most of my earned income is eaten by child support, so I'm living on my comp.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/21 12:55 PM
10

Here in Washington state, VA comp is factored in to the income calculations... however under federal law, VA comp is not subject to non-federal court garnishment and any payments to ex spouses for child support is adjudicated by the VA and not the courts. Love seeing the eff you letters we (yes I work in the VA) send to courts when they demand garnishment of veteran compensation...
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/21 12:10 AM
3

The last two were a farce. We went to VA provided counseling, I worked my butt off to be a better husband and father, she did nothing. So after my pity party before the divorce, I picked myself up and decided to move forward. Occasionally I'll remember a good time and the hurt will return until I realize I am in a much better place. Got a girlfriend that doesn't question every little thing I do, if I'm not talkative on the phone no worries (the ex got pissed when I had to get off the phone due t…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/21 11:02 PM
9

Just an FYI, if you are getting any VA compensation, if you are paying child support, she can't touch it (and neither can the courts). Sounds like if you are, you are getting CRDP in which case she is getting her 50%. If the VA contacts you for an apportionment, make sure you respond with all the financials. If the VSR has any effing clue, once they see that you are paying child support and DFAS is paying her alimony, the VSR should tell her or the courts to eff of. DM me if you want to know mor…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/21 10:55 PM
3

As someone said, you'll never be truly ok with it. In my case, I make the most of the time I have with them. I make them the focus during visits, dropping everything else I can. I take any opportunities that come up to visit or be involved. My friends and girlfriend understands why I go no contact on those weekends and days, I'm focusing on the kids. Even if it watching them play minecraft or watching one of their shows, I focus on them. That is how I am "ok" without seeing them everyday like I …
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/21 10:48 PM
3

Bro, if it wasn't for having to maintain a coparenting relationship I would have pretty much cut contact. Mainly because I have moved on but she still wants control over my life (girlfriend, money I spend, where I live, etc.). And it hurts, 19 years... but still have plenty of life ahead and improving everyday. You did the right thing and now is time to focus on you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/21 10:38 PM
2

Any VA disability compensation is almost untouchable by the courts, only federal debt is basically the only way it can be garnished. If you have other income, that can be garnished, but not VA disability compensation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/20 07:10 PM
2

You're welcome. I used to work apportionments with the VA, so that is why I know we send FU letters to the state/courts for disability compensation. The VA makes it's own determination with regards to those claims, if the estranged spouse files a claim.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/20 06:36 PM
7

If your only income is disability compensation (USA), if you proceed, answer any and all VA correspondence. If an apportionment will cause you financial hardship, she wont get a dime. Just make sure you respond to the VA if she claims an apportionment. The VA basically tells states to screw off with garnishment orders.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/20 10:09 PM
5

This! As I would say in the army, cut sling load and move on. Felt great when I did this in August, starting a masters program next week (not exactly guitar but still same idea). Life goes up from here.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/20 04:38 PM
2

Yippee kiya....
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 04:52 PM
2

Like the other comment said, check with an attorney. If you retired pay is entirely offset by VA compensation, without CRDP/CRSC, she might be entitled to a portion. Not sure how the CRDP/CRSC is affected, that is a question for a lawyer or DFAS. With that said, the court order has to be specific with specific language, otherwise the VA doesn't care (it's only garnishable for federal debts...). Engage a lawyer. If your compensation is your sole income (depending on your retired pay), needs of th…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/19 09:45 PM
2

There is light at the end of the tunnel. Things will improve. Take time to work on yourself, spend time on hobbies or take up a new hobby. I've been separated since July, final hearing Friday. We kept it uncontested for the kids, and while they are having difficulty adjusting, my stress level has plummeted. I've spent time with friends, hobbies, and started my final quarter at school (went back to get a history degree with my veterans benefits). It sucks, but life gets better if you let it and p…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/19 08:37 PM
2

While my STBXW hasn't put on a flash show, she has tried to maintain my attention and got quite pissed when she found out I was moving on with life. It's an attention thing for them, even if they initiate the divorce, which mine did. Live you're life and don't react to her, which would be what she wants. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/19 02:22 PM
1

Hang in there. I am getting out of a 19 year marriage myself, just moved into my own place a few weeks ago. Remember you need to take care of yourself to be there for your kids. Take advantage of the VA for mental health, it's a roller coaster and my relationship basically died two years ago. While I'm sure you want to take care of the kids, your compensation payments are not subject to garnishment (can only be garnished for federal debts or through a federal court), so if your award is large en…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/19 12:31 AM
3

If she has taken his last name, check common law marriage in that state...
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/19 03:11 PM
1

I'll be in better financial shape because I went conservative on housing costs, 1 bedroom apartment. Hopefully next year I'll be able to upgrade to a larger on. In the meantime, I'm paying the mortgage essentially.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/19 03:01 AM
1

Actually, I think if I announced an intention to stay away the weekend before, the holiday, and the weekend after (Xmas is middle of the week this year), I'd probably have to negotiate. So when I looked up tickets to go to family, I was just investigating being out of town the day of basically.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/19 08:15 PM
1

Thanks. Yes, and it will be more relaxing for everyone, kids included, due to the increasing tension between me and the STBX. We are going to share custody (less than 50/50, but I wont have the space for a full blown 50/50 due to financial constraints).
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/19 05:41 PM
1

Not walking away from the kids, just dont know if I want to be near their mother for extended (i.e. several hours plus) time after tomorrow. Either way, I'll celebrate the holidays with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/19 05:36 PM
1

Good point on the different days (eve and day), as I lived across the state growing up, both days were spent with on parent or the other growing up. We have alternating weekends in the agreement, unless the court screws that up. We had talked about celebrating the day together for the children, but recent events have me rethinking this. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/19 05:35 PM
2

Sorry to hear this. I'm moving out tomorrow, 19 years married next month, so I feel the pain. Our divorce should be finalized in October, just waiting on the 90 day waiting period. Good luck for you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/19 12:33 PM
1

This!
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/19 03:25 AM
2

Pull the trigger on divorce. I'm getting out at 19 years. While she has been sexual, recently it has been due to alcohol. Technically she initiated, but I signed as a co-petitioner. Still learning the ropes, but there appears to be life out there. Btw, I've got three kids 16 to 4. So this isnt easy, but staying might be worse.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/19 11:24 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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