| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 451 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVM | Story time ☕ | loraren | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 03:24 PM |
| 367 | Never Extrapolate How He Treats You | LIES MEN TELL | loraren | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 01:31 PM |
| 217 | Role of a therapist | DISCUSSION | loraren | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 01:09 PM |
| 99 | Podcast discussion - expanding your social circle | PODCAST DISCUSSION | loraren | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 02:18 PM |
| 3 | OnlyFans to ban adult material after pressure from payment processors | UK news | GLOBAL RESISTANCE | loraren | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 12:55 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | disillusionment is so painfulAmazing post! Thank you so much, I saved this for future reference. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 04:11 PM |
| 1 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 34 - Building Your Girl Gang + Triple Scrote StackThank you so much for a FLUS episode! I’ve learned so much incredible dating advice from this community, and it’s really refreshing for an episode that’s not focused on men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/10/21 01:52 PM |
| 4 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 34 - Building Your Girl Gang + Triple Scrote StackToastmasters! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/10/21 01:50 PM |
| 3 | Role of a therapistI’m on a waiting list but I will definitely set up some expectations up front, thanks! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 04:37 PM |
| 6 | Role of a therapistI never thought of it that way, but yeah it seems like therapists are part of the mainstream which says that being miserable with someone is better than being alone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 04:35 PM |
| 19 | Role of a therapistI never thought of doing blood in the water with a therapist- great idea! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 03:41 PM |
| 21 | Role of a therapistYour last paragraph makes so much sense, thanks for sharing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 03:41 PM |
| 2 | Role of a therapistThank you, I’ve added these to my reading list! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 03:39 PM |
| 18 | Role of a therapistWow those two therapists suck, I’m sorry you went through that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 03:39 PM |
| 46 | Role of a therapistThank you for your perspective as a professional! Would you be willing to share some examples of appropriate guidance? I had a similar experience with a couples therapist. Going to her definitely validated and encouraged my LVX’s awful behavior. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 03:17 PM |
| 18 | Role of a therapistThis is exactly the therapy relationship I’d like to have! I’m so glad you found that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 02:07 PM |
| 1 | Podcast discussion - expanding your social circleThat’s such a great idea! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 11:27 AM |
| 7 | Podcast discussion - expanding your social circleI also want to have a semi-regular board games night. I’m still trying to find women who’d be down. I bet it’d be easier to host a “craft” night - everyone brings what they’re working on, which we’ll put to the side while we focus on wine, snacks, and chatting! Thanks for the idea! I found another book club and a vegan group on Meetup that have been nice. Unfortunately both are still doing half of their events virtually, and I’m really sick of virtual socializing at this point. But if you’re in … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 05:24 PM |
| 10 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageUsing security cameras to gaslight you?! That’s horrifying. I’m so glad you got out safely, but im sorry you took such a big financial hit. A year ago I also moved in temporarily with family when escaping cohabiting with a NVM. Living with family presents its own challenges but they far outweigh the risks of a NVM. I now have my own apartment which is a sanctuary that I honestly can’t imagine ever wanting to share with Prince Charming himself. I hope you’re able to find and build your own home s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 05:44 PM |
| 22 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageHoly cow, what a ride. I’m so sorry you went through this but I hope you’ve obviously learned so much about yourself and NVM. Thank you so much for all the brain research info!! I’m bookmarking this and will absolutely re-read if I ever go out on a date again. I agree with you that the chances of finding a HVM are so low; technically I’m open to going on a date but I’d rather focus my energy on myself then having to calculate how everything he says makes me feel logically and emotionally. You’re… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 05:18 PM |
| 76 | I highly recommend this book for those of you who struggle with infatuation, codependency or feeling ‘addicted’ to someone. It goes into the neuroscience of limerence (romantic obsession) and how to get rid of it.Thank you so much for the recommendation, I just heard the word “limerence” for the first time recently. I’m not open to dating for the foreseeable future because I recognize I act like a drug addict when I’m in a new, promising romantic relationship. If I can’t keep my head on my shoulders then I can’t allow myself to date. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/09/21 03:58 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Check-inI just finished listening to this week’s podcast episode. Can someone please send me the link to the post discussion? I can’t find it. Thanks! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/21 09:59 PM |
| 1 | Stoicism and the journey of leveling upOP, thank you so much for this post. I will definitely look up the Enchiridion - I’m having a chronic pain flare up this week and really appreciate the recommendation. Thanks for the inspirational boost! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 08:23 PM |
| 5 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMThank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 08:25 PM |
| 21 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMYes that’s totally the word - I felt like he “got” me and now all he wanted was a mommy bangmaid not a partner. And when I carefully expressed my needs that we’re not being met, he told me directly that those needs were on the back burner for him. I couldn’t accept this at first! Even though his behavior was awful I couldn’t figure out the equation. We’re in a committed relationship + long term plans + cohabitation = he must care about me. But nope, that’s not how he viewed things, even though t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 08:21 PM |
| 4 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMThank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 08:16 PM |
| 18 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMSince I got out of this relationship, have been reading FDS, and really thinking about my values, I agree that many people make way too many excuses for others who don’t deserve it! It can be a bitter pill to swallow, especially when you have to really re-examine your parters/ex-partners, friends, and even family members. Thanks for your support! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 08:16 PM |
| 14 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMThat’s so scary. It’s hard for me to imagine being forced to live with someone who at best disrespects you and at worst makes you fear for your safety. Thank you for your hard work! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 08:14 PM |
| 19 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMHow timely! I’m grateful you have a supportive person lending a hand. I think you nailed it when you said there’s nothing to miss except how you idealized him. There was a recent post that said something like “boys are encouraged to become someone, and girls are encouraged to FIND someone“. We’ve been programmed to make excuses for them, and buy into a fantasy relationship even if it doesn’t exist in real life with your current partner. I wish you the best on your journey! I can tell you from ex… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 08:12 PM |
| 14 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMI’m sorry you went through something so similar, but I’m so proud of you for turning things around! That’s wonderful that your dad noticed and said something about your improvement. Especially since many dads wouldn’t even notice if you cut like 10 inches off your hair. This experience taught me that while external validation is nice, being self-confident and inner validation is what lasts. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 08:05 PM |
| 50 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMI’m so glad you dodged that bullet. Moving in together for convenience while so young sounds like the wrong decision. Yes, I’m ashamed to say that I excused several red flags. I saw a great meme here once that said “when you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, red flags just look like flags”, which is how I viewed the world when I was with this LVM, pouring myself into some friends who didn’t reciprocate, working a job I hated. I’ve leveled up in all these areas of my life since last year. It took … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 05:20 PM |
| 21 | The High Costs of Moving in with a LVMI’m sorry that’s really rough. Onwards and upwards for us! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 05:16 PM |
| 27 | Give a guy a bit of power and he'll use it to harrass a woman.A few years ago a guy in my friend group asked me out and we started dating just as he was starting to attend the police academy. A few weeks later he got me blackout drunk and raped me. I believe it was during or after he attended sessions on domestic violence. I think he was taking notes on how to manipulate me before, after, and get away with it. I ghosted that friend group and was in denial for a while. I never reported because I didn’t have any hard evidence and I knew in a he-said she-said… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/21 03:58 PM |
| 12 | Never Extrapolate How He Treats YouMe feeling like an object developed verrrry slowly over the course of the relationship. I provided him with a lot of tangible support and guidance, and he slowly decreased his support and care til it was below the bare minimum. So no, it was a slow degradation from partner to guidance counselor and bangmaid. He lovebombed me in the beginning - I only learned what that was from FDS! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 09:52 PM |
| 16 | Never Extrapolate How He Treats YouI would have these stupid debates with myself: “He says he cares about me... but he doesn’t treat me well. But he says he does, so it must be me...” Grrr! Oh well, moving onwards and upwards! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 09:49 PM |
| 25 | Never Extrapolate How He Treats YouWow that hit home. He once told me that his strongest ambition was to control. I rugswept that at the time and of course now I wish I hadn’t. “When they tell you who they are - believe them!” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 09:46 PM |
| 8 | Never Extrapolate How He Treats YouI’ve never heard a quote like that before, thanks for sharing! I’ve heard “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm”, but I like this one about someone else not keeping you warm while rushing off to warm others. Not even others, but strangers! Yeah, the pre-breakup stress and inner debating was awful. But like you said, once I made the decision to leave the stress melted away! I’ve often encountered that in the relationships I‘ve ended - it’s the lead up that’s so terrible, not the a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 09:44 PM |
| 12 | Never Extrapolate How He Treats YouIn both of those instances he was so unempathetic! I’m sorry you had to deal not only with a broken leg and working out your CPTSD, but also the added baggage of an unsupportive partner. If he refers to you as “my crazy ex”, I hope the next woman he encounters quickly sees through his bs. But.. that’s not your problem! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 09:41 PM |
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