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mackenzie013 Archive

View 0 posts and 124 comments by mackenzie013 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
24

Honestly, I’d be more upset getting downvotes than being ban. 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 04:35 AM
7

That’s fair. I don’t think it is or that it should be easy and that’s not what I intended to imply by any means. I do realize it’s just my opinion; but I feel like if adoption is too difficult, then not having kids is the way to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 05:18 AM
16

Personally, I think having bio kids is purely selfish in today’s society. Kids can be super expensive either way (depending on what country you’re in the cost will vary); and not being able to pay for adoption cost isn’t justification to have bio kids (but that’s just my view).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:44 AM
5

Yeah that’s a real shame!! Though I think, sometimes, it’s also ignorance a bit. A friend of mine did that once and got assaulted pretty much; then he dropped her off in the middle of nowhere and she had to walk back home (after he realized he’s not getting a bj nor sex). After speaking to her, as I was trying to figure out why she’d agree to that; she said she never thought men could be dangerous and that they’d do such things. She grew up quite sheltered and she never really learnt stranger-da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:28 AM
18

He actually used those two so that’s his words exactly! 😂😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 08:37 PM
9

I live outside of the US.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 07:29 PM
48

This is a great idea. I’ll often do that when the guy seems too controlling. The guy I’m dating now is so different in this regard; for our first date he made multiple thoughtful options and asked me what I’m most comfortable with. He also volunteered his information (without me prompting), so that I won’t be meeting a complete stranger. Even if it doesn’t workout between us, he definitely set the bar higher for everyone else! 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:21 PM
62

Oh, this guy invited me to Hawaii for a first date ..also he wanted to rent a van to drive around and explore. How about no? I’m not going to a foreign country with a complete stranger, exploring remote areas in a rented van! 😳 He was sooooo offended I said no and couldn’t comprehend why I’d pass on such an amazing “opportunity”. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:17 PM
20

It’s not legal in most countries outside of the US, I believe? I know there’s some countries where altruistic surrogacy is allowed. Personally, I can’t relate to wanting to bring a human being into this world, so I heavily advocate for adoptions. I actually feel like wanting a bio-kid is selfish, so surrogacy is so far beyond that line for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:21 AM
17

I’ve had some luck. I reported one guy once and he got banned. This was a while ago though. Plus, not sure what’s in place to prevent a new account creation. I recently blocked and reported someone on LinkedIn though and they’re still “reviewing” the messages. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 02:41 PM
2

No problem! Thanks for educating! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:42 PM
2

Ok, yeah I like the idea of like a planned public activity! ☺️ Those are good points!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 12:49 AM
30

I will edit. I didn’t mean it as degrading - it translates to the exact same word (as we don’t use adjectives the same way) so wasn’t aware of that. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 12:27 AM
11

Apologies, I’m ESL; not sure what exactly that means?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 12:17 AM
57

I think you should pay attention to his interactions with all women in his life. How does he treat his mother, sister, friends, sister-in-law, female manager, coworkers, etc. Some mothers are abusive, and I don’t blame anyone for not having a relationship in that case; but the way he talks about it is important. You don’t choose your parents, but you do choose how you deal with that once you’re an adult. Also, as many mention, it’s key to pay attention to any codependency issues. My friends ex b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 11:18 PM
5

This is more of a question than a comment; but what do you guys do if you feel like you don’t want to proceed with the dinner after X point? It seems like a time investment. Do you just get up and leave? My discomfort with dinner dates is the feeling that I’m stuck with someone and that I no longer want to be there and go through with the meal. So yeah, I could leave after 15min, but I’ve put time into getting ready and I’m probably hungry. So overall it just sounds like a lot of potential for a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 08:59 PM
21

I feel like there’s a difference between having a mental health condition and being an asshole. A lot of people try to blame/excuse their poor behaviour on their mental health. People who manage their condition, go to therapy, are (potentially) medicated, and are general highly functioning members of society, will generally do great. However, if they decide to be out of control and refuse to get their shit together, then that’s more their character at play than anything else. I wish mental healt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 03:28 AM
8

Yeah, he’s so awful! I don’t understand why my friend is with him. 🤮 He also complains about her making less $$ than him; and then he went and purchased a super idiotic expensive thing using the $$ in their joint account after she told him she didn’t want it. I was quite vocal about that at the time, cause I was hoping she’d dump him (it’s pretty much stealing IMO). The positive I guess is I’m no longer expected or invited at their BBQ parties. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 08:20 PM
3

Since FDS, I realized that what I considered as a “decent enough” bar should actually be the bare minimum lol ...I caught myself telling my friend (this was a few months ago) “he (a guy I met in dec) is a great conversationalist” and then a second later I was like “WTF just happened ...since when paying attention to what I say and remembering things means great conversation..” 😂😂 - the bar is definitely in hell! 😫 This guy (from Uni.) would pass all the higher bars tho. 😫
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 08:16 PM
11

Yeah, I’ve got nothing.. 😅 no good advice, other than you accept the reality - wishful thinking doesn’t change it, so it’s up to you to decide how much of your time and brain power you want to devote to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 06:28 AM
22

Uffff ..I have one; we started dating shortly before I moved away to a different country to do my masters and he stayed at the same university to do his PhD. I live on the other side of the world now. We message on FB a few times a year to catch up, mostly about current topics in our field (we ended up working in the same field) and that’s it. I’m not really hung-up on the idea of him, but occasionally I do wonder “what if”.. not many men have measured up in any of the good qualities he possesse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:56 AM
89

This is literally how my friends BBQ look like ..every time!!! I’ve endured it twice and I won’t attend again because him and his buddies are so insufferable. Last time I made a comment, after everyone praised him for cooking aka flipping the meat, saying “oh are we praising the bare minimum now? there’s timers for that..”. I also don’t eat meat and he offered to make me fish after I said I’ll just have the veggies. Then him and his buddies gave me the “but bacon” speech and told me how they hun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:00 AM
1

I’m glad you’ve had that experience!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 09:15 PM
3

This will be a hypothesis based on my experience. But full disclaimer - I have no evidence. Where I grew up, I was taught that sex in general is something negative for women. Most of the exposure to sex and intimacy was from the perspective of “this is just something women do to make men happy” and it was viewed as a “dirty” thing; as a woman you’re not meant to enjoy sex. Being a teenager and starting to experience urges around sex and desires to have sex; I felt shame and embarrassment, becaus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 02:45 AM
4

To me “being normal” is to be a functioning adult; have good character, integrity, empathy, and live relatively healthy. I think there’s also relative aspects of “normal” and that is based on our life experiences; how our environment and genetics shape us as we’re growing up. What is a given for someone, might not be super obvious to me and vice versa. I was diagnosed with bipolar pretty late and I never knew anything different than what my experience is. So I don’t really like the word “normal”…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 03:12 AM
10

I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone that wouldn’t keep their apartment to the same standards I have or can’t cook. I’m in my 30s and date men in their 30s so if they can’t cook (especially healthy meals) that’s an immediate dealbreaker, since - how the f*** did he survive until then (did his mother cook for him anytime he’s single)? Also, hamburger helpers and sidekicks or whatever that BS is don’t count. There’s so much content, recipes, cookbooks out there that there’s literally no e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 09:21 PM
81

LOL, this will be different for everyone based on your location and search patterns, mine are: why do men go bald why do men twitch in their sleep why do men take so long to poop why do men lose their hair why do menstrual cramps hurt why do men snore more than women why do men have beards 😂😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 09:08 PM
11

Honestly, I wouldn’t ever buy anything I can’t afford on my own. Way too many risk factors for my comfort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:07 AM
26

“she tripped and fell on my dick accidentally” 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 04:57 AM
2

I think this will be a bit different for everyone and none is necessarily wrong/right. In general, I don’t mind telling people my opinion. In fact, I’m quite outspoken with anyone I come across. At the same time I also realize that my opinion is just that - my opinion. I don’t shy away from conflict, but I refuse to get into pointless arguments (I.e. where you argue just for the sake of arguing). I quite enjoy healthy debates and opinions being questioned; it’s the best way to grow and shift per…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 09:09 PM
13

If I met someone IRL and he’d pass the “ok I find you attractive” stage; I’d expect to go for dinner or an outdoor activity (something more elaborate than a walk btw). OLD is trickier for me, personally. I struggle with the idea of going for dinner or a prolonged activity with someone I haven’t seen before. I do FT before agreeing to meet, but even with that I find it very difficult to judge physical attraction. Many of my friends won’t do anything but coffee dates as a first date, because they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 06:23 AM
6

I really dislike cats, but this is freaking hilarious. 🤣 go Mr. Cat! 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 12:12 AM
22

This is how I view FDS tbh. That said, I’ve had a difference of opinions a few times and I found at the beginning when I first joined (and couldn’t comment yet) there has been a bit more of conversations. Recently, I find more posts, while great content, tend to amplify and there’s little to no conversation. But maybe it’s just the posts that are in my feed. 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 12:36 AM
36

I’m on my second therapist; but I don’t get to choose them. I can set preferences, but then I’m just matched with someone through my provider. I left my first one and requested a new one, because while clearly having an episode, the advice I got was to write letters to resolve my childhood trauma. 😳 My suggestion would be to keep changing them until you found someone you like. First meeting is usually 15min (at least for me) to understand how they work, how they are, and if it’s a match or not. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 12:23 AM
2

Yeah, I think I’m lucky because the men I was in a long term serious relationships with, have all been pretty great people. Now, there’s been some LVM I dated, but it never turned into a relationship and lasted < 3-4 months (I don’t speak to any of them lol). I have a healthy friendship with one of my exes, yes. I think that’s only possible to do when there’s no resentment, you’re both mature, respectful and you break up because clearly it’s not going where it should be. All of the romantic feel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:30 PM
52

Ohhh the “walking ahead of people” is so irritating. A guy I went on few dates with (years ago); wanted to go running together. This is someone who complained about slow walkers on multiple occasions; I’m not walking slow by any means, but I also won’t jog to keep up with anyone - if you’ve got places to be, be my guest and BYE! Turns out, he was really slow runner. He burned his entire energy within the first 3K to keep up with me instead of asking me to slow down for him. Then couldn’t keep up…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 06:13 PM
60

You forgot “..but I can’t wear a condom” ... “it doesn’t feel as good”.. 🙄🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:49 PM
5

Yeah, of course they do. But, in comparison to what my friends without a C-section experienced I’d prefer to risk that. 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 02:33 PM
2

Because some people will fight and some won’t - the vast majority likely won’t. At least from what we see, not only from shootings, but even less extreme/traumatic events (such as car accidents). There’s definitely people who will risk their lives for others, but it’s not the majority. The decision between flight or fight is also dependent on the level of safety you are feeling in the moment (i.e. the more desperate you get the reaction changes); this is actually something I was taught in a self…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 06:42 AM
3

This is a really sad story. Maybe I’m missing some pieces of information since this is the first time reading about it, and I don’t know the story at all ...but I wouldn’t go the lengths as some of these comments are going. It’s incredibly incredibly hard to judge what someone would do in exceptional circumstances. Very unfortunately I have been in a situation of a lone wolf attack in LA a few years ago. What I’ve experienced went from flight, freeze, fight, flight... I was with two other friend…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:34 AM
54

I got a lot of “horror” stories from my friends and family who had kids. From first-degree tears to fourth-degree tears, broken tailbone, incontinence, etc. ..so I always thought if I ever have a bio kid I want a planned C-section! 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 02:08 AM
8

What did I just read... 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:55 AM
30

This is why I’m not sure if I believe in “one person” forever. Is it really a “failure” if your relationship ends when you no longer see the future with that person / you’ve grown apart / you’ve changed? I don’t think so. I think it’s the responsible thing to do. I’ve had a handful of relationships that were all great in itself, but ended since our goals no longer aligned. I don’t view any as a “failure”; but they’ve served their purposes. A lot of my friends remain in relationships for way too …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 11:31 PM
92

I have zero desire to have sex after I orgasm, so that wouldn’t work for me. 😅 My ex always wanted me to orgasm before him. Tho, if I guy ever tried to not make me orgasm after/before/during he finished I’d prob dump him. Like wtf is that. I was lucky I had a friend who was very outspoken about it when I was a teenager and our friends group started having their firsts; she told us she tells her bf “I’m not finished yet” anytime he’d show any loss in interest in pleasing her after he already orga…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:02 AM
3

Eh, as a child of parents who speak different languages and growing up in a region with two official languages (coming from two different roots); my opinion is he should seek out classes. My mother picked it up without classes and she always has troubles following along because certain constructs should have been explained by an educator. I find it quite painful to teach someone a language they don’t speak too, especially as being native there’s no way they can follow me; I have a particular dia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 04:11 AM
11

I feel like after you’re 30 it’s fine; but 10-13 gap is where it’s get a bit iffy for me, I agree. I’m 34 and the oldest I’d remotely consider is 45. At least it’s not as creepy as 30 year olds hitting on 20 year olds.🤢🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 03:22 AM
28

For me it’s Keanu Reeves and Joaquin Phoenix for being an outspoken animal rights activist (but I don’t know much about his personal life).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 09:24 PM
9

Yeah, I didn’t mean it in a “you should do it” type of way. Just commented on the notion that men will view you as less; true HVM won’t and what LVM/NVM think is irrelevant anyways. 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 09:11 PM
49

I think this is true, but it’s only true for a LVM/NVM. Which, doesn’t mean that you should do it. But, I think any man who views you as less or devalue you, because you initiated anything or shown “too much” interest; isn’t a HVM by default. I don’t mean this just in a romantic context (personally I don’t initiate first things), but friendly, professional, etc context as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:21 PM
1

Yeah, that part is a bit weird - not feeling sadness. 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 05:03 AM
3

I don’t cry around people and very rarely cry when I’m alone. So I believe your friend. My immediate emotional response to something tragic happening is action; how can I fix what’s going on / what can I do to make things better / what is in my control. That doesn’t mean I don’t get sad, hopeless or depressed (I have bipolar so I know depression well), I just deal with my emotions differently. I always honour my feelings; I think I’m actually very in touch with what I’m feeling. I just express t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:29 AM
17

I think this is the main reason that, on a deep deep level, I don’t feel like I deserve all the success I have. While I grew up poor and had many disadvantages, compared to my peers, I went through highschool doing bare minimum and always found avenues to get success with minimal effort. I went through university and grad school, partying a lot and never took it particularly serious. I pulled all-nighters all the time and managed to pass my exams. I feel like often I was incredibly lucky, more t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:05 PM
16

Only that there’s been many accidents when the child was shot because the parents loved guns or hunting. In many cases there’s a lot of debated when and if to bring your child on a hunting trip. Not to mention it’s not even legal everywhere. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 09:21 PM
30

Knowing or not knowing Reddit doesn’t make anyone more or less technologically literate. Reddit isn’t some tech invention. I’d be wary of anyone who spends a lot of time on any social media tho (including posting on instagram, Snapchat, etc.); it doesn’t align with my values. Actually, I think discussing on hobby related subs is ok. I’m a part of skiing, gardening, and similar and I’ve never come across anything toxic; they’ve been fairly useful. The bipolar one has been incredibly supportive to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 03:53 AM
87

I agree to an extent, but also; you should do whatever you want to make yourself feel better. I used to be the opposite (and not just with bf but anyone who has hurt me); I’d hold my composure and block them, and their existence was dead to me pretty much. But, I found that wasn’t working well for me to be able to move on or to honour what I’m feeling. I agree, don’t fall apart infront of an idiot who hurt you in a hopeless attempt to get back together. However, I don’t think there’s anything wr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 09:50 PM
2

No worries! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 01:18 AM
7

Yeah, I’m in a big city.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:26 AM
40

I took many classes at my gym at Uni. (this was years ago). They had everything from kickboxing, BJJ, self defence etc. Then I practiced on my brother 😂 (as a joke) In my town right now, you can sign up for self-defence classes run by female police officers. A lot of women in my running group are going to it and say it’s great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:48 PM
97

THIIIIS!! Weight itself doesn’t matter AS much (i.e. to completely give up). I actually physically restrained my friends abusive ex-bf who was over 6ft and muscular (and I’m pretty petite); because I knew how to fight. Another friend called the police and he got arrested. Taking classes is an excellent idea. The average muscular guy that only goes to the gym 24/7 will have terrible fighting skills. Now, this doesn’t mean he can’t hurt you, but you’ll have an advantage if you know how to throw we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 10:25 PM
2

Hmm.. I never said that? I was curious if posting her content would be welcomed here, because she has an onlyfans (given FDS is against it). 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 10:09 PM
97

To me it’s the 2021 equivalent of “I voted”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 03:50 AM
9

From what I know and I’m by no means an expert, but I have repressed memories of certain traumatic events (not sexual abuse). There’s a time gap; when you try to remember and you can’t recall anything from certain periods. I’m in coaching, therapy, and doctors (so pretty much all professions to form a support team). A lot of theories are actually around management and not bringing back the memories (I.e. many professionals feel like understanding and knowing the trauma itself isn’t key in recove…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:48 AM
16

I got a notification from a sub I do not follow now participate in (not sure why?) with this post being reposted there; I quickly scrolled through (mostly men upset over women wanting gifts) and some people were pointing out she has an OF?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:53 AM
43

A lot of you are writing that a man wrote this; I really hope that is the case because I wouldn’t want a woman actually going through this. However, I’d like to point out that what is written is not an uncommon symptom of sexual abuse from a very young age. Many victims block out the memory/mind (as a form of survival), only to come out with symptoms like these and not understanding their urges (hyper-sexuality in children/teens is usually a sign of sexual abuse); and they legit don’t remember t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 10:46 PM
29

I don’t think we can say that with certainty. For one, I know women who say “wet and horny”. The story sounds like something that a child who is sexually abused from a very early age would experience. A lot of the things described, pillow sex, porn watching, etc. happen. I actually know someone who’s experienced a lot of what she’s writing, and couldn’t remember any of the abuse, so she always wondered why she was feeling the way she was. Sexual abuse can be so traumatizing victims create a diff…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 10:41 PM
6

Two years ago my boss asked me when it’s “men’s day” after an initiative for women’s day at work ...and I slammed my hand on the desk and said “every f*** day is men’s day!” ...since then we all get a card, a present, and a voucher to use for women’s day. 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 10:09 PM
3

I’d think bipolar I would be somewhat hard to misdiagnose since you need 7 days of full blown mania to fit the criteria. Bipolar II is often misdiagnosed as depression though and many develop mania when put on antidepressants. That said, I have read some articles saying bipolar is over-diagnosed. It kinda makes me wonder what was considered mania in cases that are misdiagnosed. I realize it shows differently in different people, but still...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 06:13 PM
20

Yepp, I just wanted to clarify that’s what she’s talking about since “BPD” is often used to refer to bipolar. I can’t speak to BPD, but bipolar cannot be just “cured” or “go away” (like some posts suggest on this thread). Misdiagnosed - sure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 07:32 AM
7

Most drugs have a sliiight chance of causing death, and yet they keep selling them. Anything you buy OTC has some probability of killing you one way or another. It boils down to what is statistically and clinically significant. But yea.... I took BC for a while for PCOS. It had quite a few benefits for me, luckily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 06:40 AM
8

The problem with male birth control is that even if there were 100 options, most men still couldn’t be trusted with it. So, until men can get pregnant, women have to take care of their bodies. Luckily, I haven’t been in situations where the guy I’m dating would be opposed to condoms, but my friend was dating this guy in college, who would take it off midway through and didn’t tell her. 😰 It broke my heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 06:28 AM
28

Just to make sure; we are not talking about bipolar disorder here, but borderline personality? (A lot of people abbreviate bipolar as “BPD”.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 04:02 AM
1

Unfortunately, from my experience he has a point. Literally every dude that was ripped that I talked to, considered dating, or went out with turned out to be a massive douche who was REALLY REALLY REALLY into himself and believed he was a God’s gift to all women. Even bigger regret, younger and hyper-sexual me had sex with some of them and it was unbelievably underwhelming. That said, luckily guys aren’t just ripped OR a dad body ..there’s A LOT of men in between. The kindest, down to earth, and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:52 AM
2

Was he medicated? I’m really sorry you went through that. 😢 This hits home, because I’ve been in that situation, but on the opposite side. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar and in my last long term relationship hyper-sexuality was a big issue. I didn’t know I was manic at the time, and I feel so awful and embarrassed thinking back and seeing my behaviour at the time. I wish I could fix things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:41 AM
30

While you don’t need 10% or 20% down; the question becomes whether less (especially under 10%) should be advised. It largely depends on your living situation and monthly cash flow, and other investments. Generally pouring all your cash and savings into the property isn’t the best idea. Definitely don’t depend on a man to provide, but also I think we (as women) need to understand what’s in our best interest (financially speaking), since banks/mortgage brokers will often try to sell you on ideas. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 07:14 PM
87

Same girl, same! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Dumb 22 year old me. Still think about him occasionally! 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 07:08 AM
12

Always, always, ALWAYS, have your own money and your own career. It’s not just smart but necessary for many aspects of your life (not just monetary). Never, never, NEVER, share accounts! Invest, save, and have expenses as if you were single and your significant other wasn’t in the picture (this includes do NOT contribute or pay for his shit; from your personal financial standpoint he doesn’t exist). Best advice I was ever given!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:24 AM
27

Good job on writing this post! My only curiosity is the auto-banning of members. I haven’t come across that since joining FDS until recently (someone actually messaged me that they got banned for participating in another sub, and I felt like that particular sub wasn’t against “FDS rules”). Is there a list of subs you’ll get banned for if participating in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:19 AM
22

Depending on where in the world you are born and into what family dynamics; not everyone has the privilege, the luxury, or the option not to be a pick-me. As sad as that is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 07:49 PM
14

I think this example is awful; if one partner wants to get married and the other one doesn’t, just break up! Like what’s the point? I do have a very dark humour tho and I realize it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. But, the “dishwasher”, “kitchen”, “old ball and chain” type jokes are so unoriginal, overused, and zero effort. I’d bug me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 07:43 PM
2

I agree, “true lowfucks def always are and will be lowfucks”!! I don’t think a NVM/LVM can be HVM to someone else (or let’s say very very very rarely to keep the statistical significance 😅). I’m so sorry you had to go through that! But good on you for leaving!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 09:37 PM
11

I mean the definition of average is literally in the middle: nothing too special, yet also not terrible. An average guy to me isn’t LVM and it’s also not a HVM by definition; but personal preferences and different perceptions will throw him into either category. Someone that’s a HVM to one woman, might not be HVM to another. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Not sure why your original comment got downvoted, but I agree with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 08:58 PM
38

I’ve experienced a bit of a cultural difference on this one, when I moved to North America from Southern Europe. It feels like here a lot of women I meet, place their self-worth on whether or not they’re able to find a partner. Most of them tend to put A LOT MORE emphasis and importance on their romantic relationships than they do on their existing friendships and families. Back home, the culture seems a bit different and friends are pretty much your family; I’ve never had any girlfriend drop me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 04:01 AM
39

Just what I was thinking!! 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:29 PM
7

keeps me confident in myself and not doubting what I want encourages me to think about myself more than others around me; as well as to think more deeply about my needs and wants when I first came across the sub, I thought it was too black and white for me; I don’t necessarily agree with every single thing that’s written, but I’ve come to realize that I don’t need to take everything as black/white and I can find different applications of said principles (that work incredible for me)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 08:50 PM
8

Judging by the vast majority of threads on various dating subs, the main reason why women don’t want to have sex on the first date is because they’re concerned with how the guy will view them and because they’ve been told that’s not what “good women” do and thus completely missing the point on why the should/shouldn’t/could have sex whenever they feel like it. Now, the reality might be different and statistics of the general female population don’t necessarily apply to the female population on R…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 08:35 PM
31

This is the best thing I’ve read in a while. 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:15 PM
64

I think it’s worth it with the right person. I’ve had very few relationships and they were some amazing men; and occasionally I crave that a lot. But I also tend to bail at the second sign there’s a dealbreaker appearing. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’d 100% rather be alone that with someone who’s not on the same page/level as me tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 03:40 AM
29

I’ve been on 5 dates with a guy and he hasn’t pressed for sex at all; and my therapist prob thinks I’m making it up, because she mentioned how most of the complains she hears is about men pressuring women for sex on the first date. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m not gonna lie, I’ve had sex with men on first dates in the past (tho never with anyone I met on OLD and mostly because I just wanted to have sex rather than a relationship); but now that I’m actively looking for a relationship I don’t think I’d even consider…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 03:58 AM
157

Men who want traditional “wifey material” are usually unemployed, sitting in their mothers basement, playing video games all day, and waiting for them to change their dirty sheets. — like dude, aren’t you meant to PROVIDE?! 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 07:27 PM
48

Oh god! I have two. 1) I went on a date to a restaurant HE picked, he was 10min late (for no reason other than he “left late”), then he proceeded to complain about everything on the menu, told me why the stuff I picked isn’t healthy and has too much carbs for his keto diet (should have left there but I was hungry); he then proceeded to talk about protein vs fat ratios and workouts he does for another 20min. I finished my food and was ready to leave when the dude decided he’s still hungry and ord…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 06:41 AM
25

I don’t like looking at this in a negative way tbh. The idea of making it official/becoming a couple should be exciting. I also refuse to ask “what are we”; I simply state my expectations and if we aren’t aligned, welp NEXT! If I’m dreading/fearful of bringing it up then I kinda already know my answer... I don’t know if this is against FDS rules per se but; I generally dislike the idea/assumption/expectation that women should initiate “the talk” or that women are to wait for men to make it offic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 11:50 PM
7

Yeah haha! When I started working from home he was like “wow you’re home too much” and decided he needed a private spot to nap during the day - away from me. 😂 He is really goofy too though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:34 PM
25

They’re great dogs! Independent, intelligent, loyal, and love their people! ☺️ But also a lot of training goes into it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 04:39 AM
16

My first requirement is that my dog loves them. He’s a pretty good judge if something feels off in the way the guy behaves. He’s a German Shepherd and he saved me from shitty encounters a few times (one time this guy, super high on something, was following us and my dog alerted me and then scared the guy off with a low single bark lol).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:58 AM
68

My first requirement is that my dog loves them. He’s a pretty good judge if something feels off in the way the guy behaves. He’s a German Shepherd and he saved me from shitty encounters a few times (one time this guy, super high on something, was following us and my dog alerted me and then scared the guy off with a low single bark lol).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:58 AM
11

I didn’t necessarily mean ‘abuse’, tho I can see how it can be extrapolated to that. In my case, I was referring mostly to compatibility issues originating in personality traits/behaviours, that caused a reaction in me that was ultimately unhealthy (feeling that rollercoaster of pulls and pushes). Same guy could be a great fit for someone else that has different needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 12:26 AM
23

I mean, for me reading that feels a bit strange to just unfriend you. I don’t know if I could escape confrontation to know what happened. But I agree the jealousy comment is alarming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 12:01 AM
20

Oh weird. That does seem odd.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 11:39 PM
66

I’m equally confused. She could have deleted her FB all together? Some of my friends did that when they watched the social media documentary on Netflix.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 11:20 PM
76

I think the issue is also that we often fail to recognize certain patterns around who we choose to date and what we are attracted to. Hence, often running into the same problems over and over again. I’m not a professional, but these are just observations from my own behaviour and my friends group. It’s not about looks and what we are attracted to physically; it’s about the personality traits and certain behaviours that pull us in. A lot of the posts on dating threads are complaining about the sa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 10:59 PM
7

Geniuses are definitely not safe from mental instability. The thing is that a lot of geniuses actually suffer from mental health disorders. If we take bipolar; mania will actually make you think you have superpowers and a lot of people are extremely creative and will achieve great things, while manic (you’re kinda hyper and don’t need any sleep). Once you get on medication all of that is kinda gone. Mania and the BP swing is addictive. Hence, why a lot of people refuse to take medication (becaus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 02:07 AM
13

Came here to say that! 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 12:01 AM
217

A few weeks ago I was reading about an incident that involved two girls in my trail running group. This guy was following them and trying to get them off the trail, then he tried to run them over with a car. They called the police to report it and the cop asked them if they “are sure they didn’t misunderstood what the guy wanted” ...Like the actual fck ..they ran the plates on the car and the car was a rental ...now a woman is missing from that general area that went hiking on her own. 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 11:58 PM
16

What Kanye needs is to take his lithium. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:06 PM
129

This is epic! Good for you and congrats!! 🥳 My friend passed the bar and she really wanted a party to celebrate; unfortunately nobody in our friends group other than me thought it was important enough to throw her a shower. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 05:21 AM
14

It seems like your relationship revolves around him paying for your things. That doesn’t make him a “good man”; in fact, that doesn’t make him anything really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 07:22 AM
24

None of family (or friends) ever try to set me up. Mostly because they think I wouldn’t fit with anyone they know; because in their own words I’m too “direct, outspoken, independent, high quality”. To me that is the biggest compliment really. 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:57 AM
19

I met someone on OLD about a month ago. He seems like a HVM and has given me 0 evidence otherwise since. The vetting obviously doesn’t end, but every time I expect him to fall through (due to past experiences) I’m positively surprised. I’m very very very selective online tho. Maybe like 1-3 dates per year (from online); but I have met some remarkable men in the last 6 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:13 AM
9

Eh I’d argue that it depends where you’re from. While it’s huge in the US, the holiday is nowhere as prevalent in other countries. Where I grew up nobody really cares for it and it’s nowhere as close to what it is in North America (most exposure you’ll get is from movies); so personally I can’t relate to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:39 AM
18

Oh god this reminds my of my friend and her ex. What she didn’t do for him, his mother (who moved in across the street) came over to do. 🤮 My friend would cook for him and clean the place and his mother came over to get his dirty laundry and sheets, took it to her house and bring it back all fresh and ironed. The dude was hitting 30 and unable to cook ANYTHING or clean after himself; I’m honestly shocked he could wipe his own ass. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 06:53 AM
67

I don’t actually believe in asking men to do things for me. It’s a part of “getting to know each other” phase. Birthdays, special occasions are important for me and I make it very clear then. Different people will have different preferences obviously, but understanding what is important to your partner is just the bare minimum really. If you find yourself having to ask “please plan something for my birthday” after some time being together it’s time to leave. Regardless if he follows through or n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 07:27 PM
0

I actually have really dark and a lot of hair. I started developing early and since I grew up on a beach my mom thought I should start shaving. Later it was kinda expected because I was in pro ballet. Now, I personally kinda like it, but for me. Since my hair gets so thick, I really enjoy the smoothness on my skin. 😄 That said, I also dislike a lot of hair on men. My ex trimmed and waxed for me. 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 03:41 AM
6

Never doubt yourself over this! ❤️ Also, not every company in the same field will be as toxic, choose wisely. You have a PhD, you worked hard, and you get to be picky. I tend to ask the difficult questions at the interview to assess how the working culture is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:36 PM
35

As a woman in a heavily male dominated field I totally get you. I’m very blunt by nature and I don’t particularly mind being direct so my usual go to is: “This is inappropriate..” “Would you ask me the same question if I was a dude?” “Oh, I don’t know what did X say to that?” (X being a male coworker) Honestly, if being honest and establishing, as well as enforcing your professional boundaries is hindering your progression than that’s a company you don’t want to work for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:47 AM
12

Thank you!! Congrats to you as well!! ☺️ I did similar; I put 10% down. I felt like 20% was too aggressive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 12:55 AM
26

I’m all about ETFs and a little bit of stock. I have also recently purchased my first house; to diversify a bit more. I was lucky enough that some of my stock shoot through the roof, so I sold it at peak and put it into a down deposit. The dip in March was a good opportunity to get in on a few; Tesla, Amazon, Disney for example. Though, I’m mostly investing in tech and biotech (since I know it best). Some stocks also for fun; like today I purchased a little bit of Bumble (but the same nothing th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 12:11 AM
18

This is just all over bad, from any angle you might look at it. I’m shocked about the comments of “work on it” - work on what exactly? There’s nothing to salvage. Their marriage was over long time ago and him slapping her should be the absolute tipping point for them to go their separate ways. There’s no way of coming back from this. Nobody should suffer any kind of physical or verbal abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 08:01 PM
7

I’m very successful in a heavily male dominated field and I often hide my career as a pro ballet dancer and theatre. I used to get unwelcome remarks about how “feminine” and “better suited” for me that is. I’ve been interviewing men for the last few years and I’ve been in situations where I’d ask a question and the guy would reply to my male coworker sitting next to me, as if I wasn’t there or I couldn’t possibly comprehend what he’s talking about. I’ve also had complaints from junior male emplo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:20 AM
1

I watched Selling Sunset, that’s how I became aware of her. She was so awful on that show (like have some personality??). I’m not super shocked she’d get this tattoo; it’s just so so so pathetic. Why get branded like that?? (actually, it reminds me of NXIVM documentary, when the women were branded)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 05:51 PM
17

This is soooo true! One of my ex’s kept saying how he finds tall skinny women ultra attractive (I’m fairly slim but not super tall); but the second I pointed out an ultra fit actor and said he’s really handsome he got all insecure and said it’s impacting his self esteem. 🙄 Boy - bye!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:13 PM
20

This sounds like abuse to be honest. My heart breaks for all of them. 10 is extremely young to be actively searching for these things. I’d be more suspicious about other people in the household. Reddit is vile for blaming her though. She should be encouraged to approach an authority figure in school or somewhere to figure out what to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:28 PM
33

I refuse to do anything more than my share of cooking, cleaning, whatever... I was lucky enough that all my bfs were more organized and cleaned more than me (even tho we didn’t live together). 😅 but I’d refuse to clean after someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 09:58 PM
3

I love living alone! I also like being single and refuse to settle for just “a man” in my life. If I’m gonna date someone it has to make my life even better ..not make it more complicated/worse. A lot of my friends are obsessed with finding someone to live with and seems like just the next dude will do (in many occasions). At the same time I also don’t want to get married or have kids (not sure if this is against FDS since I’m new); but I’m some distant future when I date someone great, I could …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 11:22 PM
7

I’m in my early 30s and in the top of my field in a heavily male dominated industry. I generally try to keep it vague what I do and where, but maybe I shouldn’t. Once the guy knows what I do I usually get one of the following: 1) Tries to ask more questions about my job; but at the same time (subtly) trying to explain to me why I’m wrong. I went to a party with a guy I dated once and when someone asked about what I did, he felt the need to answer for me and explain in detail what exactly I did (…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 08:03 AM
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