~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 78 | So. Many. Red. Flags.And I guarantee he’ll cheat on her throughout their marriage, if he isn’t already. Which is a big if. Usually guys like this don’t cheat because they can’t find anyone willing to let them get their dick wet, not out of respect for their relationship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 08:10 PM |
| 131 | So. Many. Red. Flags.Every sentence came with a new sense of horror. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 06:05 PM |
| 29 | “Sexual harassment should be normalized!” and other wtf scrote quotes from dates.That happened to me and when he complained that I wasn’t touching him enough (or at all) on the first date I ended it early. Fuck. That. He wanted a fast woman, when I clearly told him ahead of time that I wanted to take things slowly. He actually pouted like a child when I ended the date and later texted me to apologize, blamed it on the alcohol, and asked for a second chance. I declined his offer. Confidently. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 05:29 PM |
| 205 | Reminder to have as much confidence in yourselves as men aged 45+ on dating apps who display their child preference to “someday”.That’s because you get famous men having babies in their 60’s and all men assume that they can too. Never mind that a lot of these men have chefs, nutritionists, and personal trainers whereas most men on dating apps eat trash and think putting down the video game controller to walk to the bathroom counts as cardio. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/21 07:11 PM |
| 319 | Scrote goes to brothel and gets serviced by his obviously miserable friend. Reports on reddit for awards and mostly pats on the back.This sounds super fake to me. At least her “response” is. “All of these dudes just want sex and don’t care but I had sex with you because YOU CARE!” Uh yeah… that happened. Either way, his whole pity party about how “mad” he is at himself is just gross. He wants everyone to pat him on the back for being a “nice guy” when he’s a total creep. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/21 01:22 AM |
| 9 | Let's play a Game!I was watching an episode of Reba last night and Brock (Reba’s ex-husband on the show - who cheated on her with his dental hygienist, Barbara Jean, got her pregnant, and divorced Reba and married Barbara Jean in a few months) was telling his son-in-law Van to make sure the set the bar low for Valentine’s Day so he can skate by in future years. He complained that he did something really thoughtful and romantic for Reba when they first started dating and was never able to top it, and even though R… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/21 02:37 PM |
| 7 | Let's play a Game!Paris and Doyle - they seemed to understand each other’s needs and support each other well. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/21 01:11 PM |
| 30 | Let's play a Game!Gilmore Girls - Rory with Jess, Rory with Logan, and Rory with Dean the second time around (I think Dean was decent while they were in high school but he went NV when he cheated on his wife with Rory). Rory and Paris had a better relationship than any of the boys/men Rory was with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/21 03:05 AM |
| 46 | I heard about Lilith on TikTok, how she was before Eve and facts about her. While I'm not really religious, it's interesting to look into. But. I found this article, and it has some interesting things I'd like to talk about.I’m a daughter of Lilith 🌚, I adore her. She and I have a lot in common - wanting to be treated as an equal in a relationship and being rejected for it, being banished from the garden (for me it was from family), and being abused by the people/entities who were supposed to love and respect her. She’s amazing and I draw a lot of inspiration and strength from her. 🖤♥️ 👑 And I think it’s telling that in many versions of her that are told by men, she’s an evil demon because she stood up for her basi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/21 10:27 PM |
| 146 | What's a 🚩red flag you encountered this week?Less of a red flag and more of a thank-Lilith-I-don’t-have-to-live-with-this-anymore (not sure what color that flag is). I have to coparent with my abusive ex-husband and we had a coparenting therapy session last week. He whined that I was vilifying him for taking about something THAT HE DID (fortunately our therapist stepped in and confirmed I was not vilifying him, but simply having a conversation - he literally can’t tell the difference), then he started accusing me of ridiculous things I did… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 03:48 PM |
| 88 | LVM love to complain about high body counts but can’t help talking about how desperately horny they are when you just started talking to them. As if you are supposed to help them fix that.I was married for 17 years and with my ex-husband for 23 years. I’m not waiting almost 8 years because my ex-husband decided to cheat on me. It’s been more than three years since we split and almost a year since our divorce was final. I’ve put in the work (it’s an ongoing process but I’ve worked through the grief). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 03:31 PM |
| 19 | Even The Small StuffOh, let’s see. If we had a fight and I was mad, he told me to sleep on the couch because I was the one with the problem (even though the problem was him). This was part of his argument back to me about “equality” (if we’re equal, why should the man have to sleep on the couch?). 50/50 is a lie. He snored so loudly that it would keep me up. He didn’t care and wouldn’t do anything about it. He would also fart so badly it would wake me up. He refused to look into it and adjust his diet even after bo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 02:06 PM |
| 6 | What do you think of women being forced into the military draft?The reason Republicans aren’t against this bill is because they hate women. Even the women hate other women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/21 12:58 AM |
| 89 | This man got up & left the date as soon as the bill came... and she still decided to be his girlfriend after thatI love how she has this “gotcha” face… but she’s the one who’s been screwed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/21 08:32 PM |
| 23 | Uh oh even the country gals are going FDS. These scrotes are really in trouble now! I love it.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥👑👑👑👑👑 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/21 07:10 PM |
| 5 | Why are there so many more homeless men than women?Men are more likely to turn to drugs and alcohol to deal with trauma because they were raised to ignore their emotions and mental health. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/21 04:35 PM |
| 32 | Do you think childfree men are less inclined to provide or less or more likely to be HV than non-childfree men?Omg stop arguing with men about what when want. They will try to get you to accept the lowest possible bar and justify it a thousand different ways. Write a list of what you want. I keep mine in my phone. Figure out what your hard deal breakers are. For example, I don’t date smokers but an occasional cigar is OK with me. I don’t date drug users of any type. I have specifics around politics. Once you know what your standards are, only entertain men who meet those standards. For you, someone who i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/21 04:34 PM |
| 42 | "You look like my ex..."Damn… I feel called out (that’s a good thing). The last guy I dated said I looked like his ex-wife and pretty much every past girlfriend because he has a type. And I would be on “his” side with things around his ex-wife (well technically they were still married - a huge deal breaker that I’ll never do again) and he would defend her. Totally triangulated us!! The more I look back at that “relationship” (we never got past dating into real relationship territory) the more I realize how manipulative… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/21 04:25 PM |
| 77 | Don't accept shitty behaviour just because "every man does it"!!!My mom always told me “that’s just how men are” when I would tell her about my (now ex-) husband’s bad behavior. That’s because that’s how my father is, and she can’t admit that he’s acting poorly because it would shatter her world. So she continues to lie to herself and reinforced that behavior with me. Now that we’re divorced she acts like she had NO IDEA how bad it was. They both thought my ex-husband was great, but after we split everyone else in my life (literally, every other adult in my l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/21 01:24 PM |
| 38 | Dating double standards exposed in a radio showRadio shows pay companies to provide these types of calls so there’s a good chance these are fake. Most of those “relationship advice” calls you hear on the radio are fake because normal people don’t call into a radio talk show to get advice about their relationships. Has that ever occurred to you? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/21 12:10 AM |
| 22 | Dating double standards exposed in a radio showA lot of these calls on radio shows are fake. There are companies that provide actors to do this. That’s the good news. The bad news is that I don’t think this is outrageous - oh, it’s outrageous that it happens, but it’s not outrageously unbelievable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/21 12:08 AM |
| 31 | “Why did he marry her and not me?”I asked myself this a thousand time. We were married for 17 years and together for 23. When I started thinking for myself he got mad and found someone to replace me. She’s a bearded (literally) man-woman who is unattractive inside and out. She faked cancer and lied about a ton of other shit. He didn’t care. She cooks and cleans and fucks the way he wants so he dumped me and married her within two months of our divorce being finalized. They’re currently expecting (he’s in his 40’s and she’s a dec… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/21 09:34 PM |
| 38 | Why it always seemed like that one mean friend always gets the best boyfriend…Agreed! My sister’s former SIL is like this and I didn’t understand it. Now I do! This sub has been so mind blowing to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/21 06:25 PM |
| 4 | This is why women must be selective in what men we allow in our lives. Most men are jealous and possessive if women. They'd rather kill us than see us be happy without them or with another man.He was all about 50/50, etc. and that was his justification. But it goes by I come and he makes more than me. My therapist explained that it’s actually not my choice, it’s my duty to make sure my kids are provided for and that’s what child support is for. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/21 03:43 PM |
| 29 | Marriage is a bigger commitment??? Huh!?!He is a very good manipulator. One of my kids is more aware of how he really is because he’s been on be bad end of it, but my other one doesn’t see it. It’s much more complicated than “your dad did X.” He is very good at twisting things around and making them seem like my fault, when I was just sticking up for myself. There’s a book called “Coparenting With a Toxic Ex” that explains how this manipulation and ultimately alienation occurs, and that’s what my ex and his new wife have done with my y… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/21 12:22 PM |
| 157 | Marriage is a bigger commitment??? Huh!?!And if he cheated on you, like my ex-husband did, and married the home wrecker, every major event in your children’s lives is now marred because they’re going to be there rubbing their infidelity in your face. It makes me so sad to think about my kids weddings, my first grandchildren, etc. and now they won’t be nearly as happy of occasions because I have to smile and pretend like the man who abused me and cheated on me and remarried my replacement and then bred with her is a GREAT GUY, you know,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/21 02:48 AM |
| 184 | Marriage is a bigger commitment??? Huh!?!This is true. I divorced the LVM I married but I still have to coparent with him. It’s a damn nightmare. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/21 02:45 AM |
| 20 | Blocking is therapeutic.Riiiiight? Because we went to college together I guess I felt obligated to stay FB friends with him and text him, but I don’t anymore. He’s just a creep. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 11:05 PM |
| 42 | Blocking is therapeutic.Since I separated he would text me about every 6 months or so to “see how I was doing.” He was seeing if I was ready to date. Then when I was, we hung out (yeah, that one’s on me) and he went on a rant about how he was done paying for women 🚩, in his last relationship his GF had a daughter who didn’t like him 🚩, the last GF was in therapy and he wanted to know if I was in therapy because he thought that was a red flag and he said he was done dating “crazy women,” 🚩and then he said he was only lo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 10:58 PM |
| 35 | This is why women must be selective in what men we allow in our lives. Most men are jealous and possessive if women. They'd rather kill us than see us be happy without them or with another man.I was terrified of my ex-husband and after I moved out when I filed for child support. He told me I didn’t deserve it and not to file. My mom was sure he would come over and try to shoot me to the point that I told my therapist and she made note of it in case something happened to me. The man never laid a hand on me during our marriage (he was emotionally, mentally, financially, etc. abusive) yet I knew he was capable of it because he loved to tell me stories about the fights he got into in high… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 07:59 PM |
| 28 | Lovely bit of standard shaming by TikTok Pickminique 🙄A lot of short men are angry because they keep getting rejected by women because they’re short. Of course that’s not the only factor, but that’s their reasoning, and these men fester in their hatred of women. That has not helped the short guys who are actually decent. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 06:56 PM |
| 54 | Lovely bit of standard shaming by TikTok Pickminique 🙄I had a guy ask if I was still in therapy because he couldn’t handle dating another “crazy woman who needs therapy.” Um… what?? That’s not how therapy works! That’s not how any of this works!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 06:54 PM |
| 71 | Lovely bit of standard shaming by TikTok Pickminique 🙄Do you know how many bed frames I see on my local free stuff Facebook group? For free. FREEEE. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 06:52 PM |
| 13 | Blocking is therapeutic.Looooove itttttttt!!!!! ❤️ ♥️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 06:48 PM |
| 198 | Blocking is therapeutic.Yesssss! I started unfriending/blocking guys who have no need to be in my life on social media and blocking them in my phone. I realized the only reason I had them was for an ego boost… but for what? That they want to fuck me? That’s not happening. It’s really been a mind fuck (in a good way) for me to stop using my sexuality to get attention that doesn’t even serve me and start using my femininity for myself. I had a guy I knew in college hit me up the other day and I blocked him. He was a wast… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 06:46 PM |
| 1 | GREAT ANSWER TO "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A MAN?"I know, one commented (it was deleted but I saw it in my email) and I was so pissed I wanted to make it very clear that it wasn’t me just misunderstanding. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 02:18 PM |
| 1 | GREAT ANSWER TO "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A MAN?"I know, one commented (it was deleted but I saw it in my email) and I was so pissed I wanted to make it very clear that it wasn’t me just misunderstanding. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 02:18 PM |
| 1 | GREAT ANSWER TO "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A MAN?"I know, one commented (it was deleted but I saw it in my email) and I was so pissed I wanted to make it very clear that it wasn’t me just misunderstanding. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 02:18 PM |
| 149 | Big kids v Man childI have a theory about this. Understanding generational differences is important in my work, so while I’m not an expert, I’m familiar with this. These are generalizations, of course, don’t come at with NOT ALL MILLENNIALS. Also, I’m talking about MEN. In every generation, particularly among men, they get to the point where they have disposable income (usually mid-30’s to mid-40’s) and they get nostalgic about their youth and start buying things to make them feel young again. In the Boomer generat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 01:35 PM |
| 112 | A very serious warning: keep your eyes wide open with men that seem to work too much.My LVM ex-husband works 60-80 hours a week. It was a factor in our divorce because all he did was work (he frequently worked from home so he was actually working, at the dining room table on a work computer for a tech company, so no access to porn or anything either). Every evening he would fall asleep in from of the TV and he slept all weekend while I had to work full-time and handle everything with the house and kids because he was either working or sleeping. I didn’t realize it until after we… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 03:27 AM |
| 2 | Date ideas that don't revolve around food but where he still pays something?At the drive ins near me we usually sit on camp chairs outside of the car, so I would be Ok with that. Minimal time in an enclosed space. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 02:01 AM |
| 43 | Start paying attention to the conversations you haveFor years when I would talk to my mom about how my (now ex-) husband’s poor behavior, she would just tell me “that’s how men are,” and “there’s not much you can do about it now!” Spoiler alert: divorce is legal and a viable solution! Everything I’ve read about FDS has validated how I’ve felt for years but couldn’t properly explain it. I KNEW my ex-husband wasn’t treating me right but when I tried to explain it I was gaslit or told to accept it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 09:29 PM |
| 138 | GREAT ANSWER TO "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A MAN?"I was on a first date with a guy who told me, with a smile, that he was on the opposite end of politics than I am. When I said that was a problem for me, he chuckled. I was not joking. He’s entitled to his views, of course, but I choose to be with someone whose values are closer to mine. At the end of the date he tried to kiss me (it was so obvious that I wasn’t into him too) and a dodged so hard I almost hurt myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 09:22 PM |
| 346 | GREAT ANSWER TO "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A MAN?"I got “I’m looking for a confident woman,” by which he meant forward/fast. He was really surprised when I was confident enough to end the date early. 😮 ETA: to the lurking scrotes who can’t take my word for it… he wouldn’t stop touching me even when I asked him to stop, he asked if he could “help me out,” which I played dumb and he clarified that he wanted to “lick my pussy,” and he blatantly said he expected me to be touching him more. On our first date. When I ended the date early he pouted li… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 09:18 PM |
| 8 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-InI’m codependent, and while I can’t determine if you are or not, I suggest reading about it. Melodie Beattie wrote several books about codependency and how to create and enforce healthy boundaries, check them out and see which one you relate to the most (I like “The New Codependency” because it’s more general, whereas “Codependent No More” talks about having an addict in your life, which does not relate to me). There’s also a book called “Boundaries” that looks at how to establish boundaries as a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 06:14 PM |
| 25 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-InI feel this! So there’s a few things going on here. One, you likely have weak boundaries (I say this with love because I’ve been there and am still working on holding healthy boundaries). When you have weak or unhealthy boundaries and you start enforcing healthy boundaries, those who enjoyed your poor boundaries don’t like it and they push back. Also, you teach people how to treat you. I have also been mystified in the workplace when someone else is respected and I’m not - we both do the same th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 04:20 PM |
| 73 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-InThanks to this sub I just blocked a LVM. I had unfriended him on Facebook a few weeks ago (also thanks to FDS) but it didn’t occur to me to block him on my phone. This LVM and I went to college together. We connected via Facebook years ago and after I got a divorce he asked me out and I accepted. Well it quickly became clear that he was looking for a FWB situation, and I told him I wasn’t interested in that. He’ll text me every few months and we’ll briefly chat. He HMU last night and I BLOCKED H… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 04:06 PM |
| 23 | Couples and MasksI thought you meant a figurative mask for a hot minute. We don’t have to wear masks where I live anymore, but I do see more women than men wear them. Not usually couples though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 03:25 AM |
| 7 | Date ideas that don't revolve around food but where he still pays something?The thing is we haven’t had a chance to meet yet, mostly because of my schedule. He’s been active in keeping in touch (I never text him first and he’s texted daily). He also suggested we go to air shows in the future, adding that’s assuming we get along once we meet. Not for a first date. But I’m kind of like… I guess? I’m not opposed to air shows but not super interested. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 02:42 AM |
| 25 | I loathe to sound vulgar but #toomanymen see dating apps as free prostitution websites…without any of the stigma of seeking out a prostitute. 🤭 Thank you FDS for helping me delete the dating app I was trying.They were also still living together! They had another apartment that they would stay at when they weren’t at their main house with their kids. This is an actual thing called nesting, where they maintain two residents, one main family home where the kids stay and another home just for the adults. It’s actually great for little kids, and his were under 6. However, not great for me. I will never again date someone who isn’t legally divorced and with their own place. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 02:29 AM |
| 149 | He KNOWS where the clit is, he just doesn't care23 fucking years and my ex-husband could NEVER FIND IT. The next guy I dated had NO TROUBLE finding it. The guy I was with after that had NO TROUBLE finding it. My ex-husband is either a moron or an asshole (oh wait, he’s both!). I couldn’t understand why it was so hard for my ex-husband, it’s not like it moves! But he was always an inch off, I always had to move him to the right spot. After two decades you’d think he’d care enough to learn… oh wait, he probably did it on purpose because it deva… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 02:21 AM |
| 155 | Male friends are a scamThis is why (to my understanding) FDS is against dating a man who has a lot of female friends or a female best friend. They’re looking at the woman as a potential partner, or may have a secret FWB relationship even if the female friend is in a relationship or married. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 02:15 AM |
| 27 | I loathe to sound vulgar but #toomanymen see dating apps as free prostitution websites…without any of the stigma of seeking out a prostitute. 🤭 Thank you FDS for helping me delete the dating app I was trying.Yes!!! Everything you said is 💯 I’m focusing on my myself and raising my vibration. When the time is right a man with an equal vibration will be sent to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 01:14 AM |
| 29 | I loathe to sound vulgar but #toomanymen see dating apps as free prostitution websites…without any of the stigma of seeking out a prostitute. 🤭 Thank you FDS for helping me delete the dating app I was trying.Yes!! And she was like FUCK THIS AND FUCK YOU and literally walked away from the Garden of Eden. The original 👸👸🏼👸🏻👸🏽👸🏾👸🏿👑 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 01:12 AM |
| 45 | I loathe to sound vulgar but #toomanymen see dating apps as free prostitution websites…without any of the stigma of seeking out a prostitute. 🤭 Thank you FDS for helping me delete the dating app I was trying.It’s so funny that you mention Adam and Eve because I’m a Daughter of Lilith. Lilith was Adam’s first wife and he rejected her for refusing to be submissive (if you read the Bible, it mentions that two people were made of clay, then in the next section says that Eve was made from Adam’s rib - Adam and Lilith were the two people equally created from clay). Lilith was replaced by Eve and thrown out of the Garden of Eden. I believe she was the snake that tried to save Eve with knowledge. I relate t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 12:38 AM |
| 64 | I loathe to sound vulgar but #toomanymen see dating apps as free prostitution websites…without any of the stigma of seeking out a prostitute. 🤭 Thank you FDS for helping me delete the dating app I was trying.I thought I had found a HVM before I knew about FDS. We met via OLD. He had a high paying, impressive job. He was divorced and a good father (I’m in my 40’s so this is actually more desirable than a man who has never had a LTR). He took me to a nice place for our first date, wore a jacket, and paid. He is, to date, the smartest man I’ve ever dated and it was so nice to have someone on my level. As I got to know him I learned more. He wasn’t divorced, he was separated. Oh wait! They hadn’t even f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 12:32 AM |
| 62 | I loathe to sound vulgar but #toomanymen see dating apps as free prostitution websites…without any of the stigma of seeking out a prostitute. 🤭 Thank you FDS for helping me delete the dating app I was trying.I briefly went back into OLD after I found FDS to practice, but I found that they’re all LVM and went off of it again. I’m just so tired of these lazy slobs thinking they’re worth my time and energy. Like you said, it’s too easy and low effort. I’m working on myself, eating better and working out, and taking myself out in dates. Honestly, I’d rather spend the time with my dogs than with these losers I keep matching with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 11:39 PM |
| 135 | looking for examples of hyper-competency and then low-value behaviorOne big factor in my divorce (married 17 years, together 23 years) was that my political views were changing as I learned more. I stopped just agreeing with what he thought and started seeking out my own information. Ironically, he constantly complained in our marriage that I didn’t care enough about politics, and when I started to care and educate myself, I found I didn’t actually agree with much of what he did. This was also during the rise of Trump when politics in the US became extremely div… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 11:31 PM |
| 8 | Date ideas that don't revolve around food but where he still pays something?I had a guy offer to take me to a movie for a first date (negative), but then it was a movie he knew I would be interested in seeing based on our conversations (positive). We couldn’t go because our schedules haven’t lined up yet (I only date when I don’t have custody of my kids and he was on vacation in the middle). At this point we’ve been texting about once a day briefly to keep contact but not spending a lot of time and energy because we haven’t met yet. I’m totally luke warm about this guy.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 08:40 PM |
| 56 | Times I should have left my fianceMy ex-husband once told me how he’s all about equality because he considered hiring a woman (he’s a manager in a tech field that is about 99.9% men). His reason for considering her was that she was beyond her child-bearing years so he didn’t have to worry about her going out on maternity leave (you know, the same leave that me, his wife at the time and the mother of his children, took). I told him that’s not only actually very sexist but literally illegal to even take into consideration a woman’… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 07:24 PM |
| 2 | 👑Then it’s even more true! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 05:04 PM |
| 2 | 👑If I could change the title I would, Reddit doesn’t allow titles to be edited. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 05:02 PM |
| 9 | 👑I knew I heard it before. Thanks so much!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 04:45 AM |
| 6 | A Little Humor For Y’all :)I posted this under another comment, but I’ll add it here too - it could read “unmanaged mental illness” because these men will self-treat their depression, etc. with porn, drugs/alcohol, smoking, food, and/or video games instead of getting actual help and trying to manage their mental illness in healthy ways. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 03:11 AM |
| 52 | A Little Humor For Y’all :)Agree, I think it should read “unmanaged mental illness.” A lot of men have depression etc. but don’t take care of their mental health - and that’s the problem. They cope with porn, drug/alcohol, smoking, food, and/or video games. I also have anxiety, depression, and ADHD, but the majority was caused by my abusive marriage (followed by being raised in an abusive home) and have seriously improved when I got out of the marriage. I don’t even think I have ADHD, the symptoms are the same as being in… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 03:08 AM |
| 21 | A Little Humor For Y’all :)Has friends??? Lol. Both my ex-husband and ex-boyfriend (post-marriage) didn’t have friends. Well, the ex-BF had his video game buddies but they don’t really count because they weren’t local and never met IRL. I also want to add that a receding hairline isn’t really his fault. I’m in my 40’s and I’m lucky if I can find a guy with a full head of hair. It’s not exactly a personally trait or something they can control. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 03:04 AM |
| 37 | 👑Seriously | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 11:36 PM |
| 11 | Thank you to all of you for helping me to escape my “relationship” before it was too late!I remember after I moved into my own place and my (now ex-) husband came over and tried to bully be the way he used to and I didn’t react the way he expected. He tried another tactic, and another tactic, until finally he stood there, looking confused and I could see the wheels turning in his head as he frantically tried to figure out why I was not only standing my ground but not freaking out, just calmly telling him no. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/21 09:18 PM |
| 3 | Hello is this X? No, I don't know him 💀My ex-husband pulled similar shit. My favorite was when he dropped off a box of stuff he and his GF didn’t want (I moved out, he stayed in our marital home and moved the home wrecker in). On our wedding anniversary. And it was full of champagne glasses that were from our wedding. And he made our kids the messenger just to try to get me to react poorly in front of them. I didn’t. Instead I posted about it on Reddit and laughed in private. It was just so pathetic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 08:07 PM |
| 3 | Hello is this X? No, I don't know him 💀Damn, that little shit. So glad you just chuckled and moved on. And shared here because HILARIOUS. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 07:45 PM |
| 2 | Why does stuff like this always go viral? It’s just encouraging more women to accept less and “adjust” themselves to tolerate bs !! 😤😐Much better! It’s amazing how much better things get when you’re not living under the constant stress of trying to please someone who can’t be pleased. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 04:31 PM |
| 2 | Why does stuff like this always go viral? It’s just encouraging more women to accept less and “adjust” themselves to tolerate bs !! 😤😐It was really eye opening as I was learning about how abusive my ex-husband was. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 03:09 PM |
| 2 | Why does stuff like this always go viral? It’s just encouraging more women to accept less and “adjust” themselves to tolerate bs !! 😤😐That’s funny, I read that book about three year ago. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 09:46 PM |
| 12 | Why waiting makes senseHahahaha LIES. My ex-husband’s wife is a chameleon. She becomes the “perfect woman” for whoever she is with. In her previous relationship she was a gamer girl. Then she met my ex-husband (while we were still married of course) and became the perfect little housewife. She kept that mask on until she was married and pregnant to my ex-husband (more than three years). Now my kids hate her because she’s a “crazy bitch” and “gone batshit crazy”’according to them (I don’t fish for info either, my kids … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 03:43 PM |
| 12 | Why does stuff like this always go viral? It’s just encouraging more women to accept less and “adjust” themselves to tolerate bs !! 😤😐Bu bu bu BINGO!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 03:36 PM |
| 48 | Why does stuff like this always go viral? It’s just encouraging more women to accept less and “adjust” themselves to tolerate bs !! 😤😐This is also his interpretation of what his therapist said. He’s possibly twisting their words to justify treating his girlfriend like shit. There’s a difference in accepting that, say, your parents are only capable of X and Y, but not Z, and adjusting your expectations accordingly so you don’t continue to be hurt that Z doesn’t happen, compared to allowing a partner to continually not meet your needs. There is more than one type of relationship. This guy is taking something that is healthy in s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 03:00 PM |
| 4 | Obtaining Self loveI did this. I have a small notebook and on every page I wrote down an abusive thing or shitty thing my ex-husband did. It helped me realize it was real (it’s easy to minimize) and actual abuse. After we split I was also afraid I would go back to him so I told a few close friends/family members about the book and to make me read it if I ever thought of going back to him. I never have, but it’s good to have the notebook. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 12:31 AM |
| 73 | Obtaining Self loveThis is THE BEST ADVICE I’ve gotten from FDS: If he wanted to, he would. He doesn’t want to because he doesn’t value you. He expects you to be available when it’s convenient for him. No no no no. That’s bull shit. Block and delete. It’s hard, I know, but he’s just not worth your time anymore. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 04:17 PM |
| 85 | Obtaining Self loveFirst of all, don’t be embarrassed. We’ really pretty much all been there (some of us more than once!). I threw out the LVM who was living with me. He responded by hiding in my basement for two weeks (I have him a deadline to find a place and get our) and eventually he faked a heart attack (trying to get me to let him stay longer) and I dropped him off at the hospital and refused to allow him to come back to my house. This was at the beginning of Covid so it was easy to tell him not to come back… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/21 04:11 PM |
| 0 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.😂🎢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 06:25 PM |
| 5 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.Me too. Cheers 🥂 to her! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 05:23 PM |
| 17 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.He’s not putting his best foot forward. He’s making zero effort to be attractive to a potential partner. An OLD is like a resume. This is like submitting a cover letter where he didn’t even add the company’s name. Zero effort. Men need to make an effort. Beyond his physical appearance, he’s wearing a filthy t-shirt. A man who doesn’t take care of himself isn’t going to take care of a partner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 04:59 PM |
| 227 | How can you deal with celibacy & accept it?Get a good vibrator. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 04:49 PM |
| 13 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.A guy just posted (it got deleted but I saw some of it in my email, then I blocked him on Reddit) about how I am wasting time on OLD apps and Reddit roasting random guys and that I attract what I put out there. Angry scrote alert! 😡 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 04:17 PM |
| 11 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.Truth I’m not sure he can even find his dick, his arms might not be long enough. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 04:11 PM |
| 22 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.Exactly! I should note I’m in my 40’s so he is at least age appropriate for me. A lot of men my age are like this. Their wife’s got tired of them and taking care of their lazy asses and left them, so now they’re OLD trying to find someone when they’re 150 pounds heavier, less hair, with a failed career than they were in their 20’s. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 04:02 PM |
| 7 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.If I have to open my phone to this, so does everyone else 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 03:55 PM |
| 17 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.One you do not accept on delivery. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 03:27 PM |
| 13 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.At least she came to her senses! You know he didn’t end it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 03:27 PM |
| 21 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.That’s where I’m about at too. Now that I know about FDS I got back into OLD to practice recognizing LVM, but it seems they’re all LVM. I’ve at least gotten good at seeing the big red flags. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 03:07 PM |
| 11 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.I needed to share my trauma with the group. I can also smell the pics. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 03:01 PM |
| 16 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.The fact that is was filthy is what bothered me the most. But both t-shirts having sarcastic sayings really said a lot too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:55 PM |
| 13 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.He has a college education too. He listed two colleges, not sure if he moved around or if he has a master’s degree (my bet is he switched for his undergrad) but then can’t work because he’s “injured.” Which leads me to believe he’s not using his degree because he’s doing more physical work. But yes, I noticed the t-shirts too. There were other pics but these two were just, well, SOMETHING. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:54 PM |
| 17 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.Right? They set the bar so low in their profile that they can literally sit in the couch shoving food into their mouth and wiping their greasy hands on their shirt and you’d have no excuse because you can smell the photos. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:50 PM |
| 37 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.So. Weird. 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:49 PM |
| 31 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.I hope so too! She deserves better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:49 PM |
| 26 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.Me too, it’s why I posted this. I was legit angry that he liked me! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:48 PM |
| 82 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.Not Connecticut, a few states south and a little bit west (Pennsylvania). But they’re EVERYWHERE. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:23 PM |
| 33 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.I’m bi and leaning towards dating women as well. I’m so tired of these loser men liking my profile. They’re so gross. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:22 PM |
| 27 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.Yeah, if he can get someone to fuck him, which, let’s face it, isn’t likely. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:21 PM |
| 130 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.I’m guessing in his 20’s he was just chubby and short, not obese and balding too. Probably suckered some poor woman into marrying him and then proceeded to be so fucking lazy (he’s “injured” = unemployed) that she finally got sick of it and divorced him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:20 PM |
| 40 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.I’m assuming he’s divorced since he had kids. Honestly doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who pumps and dumps because he’s not attractive enough to get a woman without the promise of marriage (back in his 20’s of course before he was balding and was just chubby and short). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:18 PM |
| 21 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.I’m pretty sure it’s real. This is not an unusual profile I get, although they’re usually not quite so fat or post pics in dirty shirts. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:17 PM |
| 43 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.I had the same thought! I’m guessing he likes the food more than the coasters. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:16 PM |
| 29 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.It really is. I successful got rid of the “camping” enthusiasts but I’m still getting the video game losers. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:16 PM |
| 60 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.Lol thanks!! I know I have some weight to lose but I actually have a waist and one chin. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:13 PM |
| 94 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.Admittedly, this is one of the worst I’ve gotten. I had to post it, it’s sooooo bad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:05 PM |
| 79 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.Right? You know he added LTR as a ploy. It was the dirty t-shirt that put me over the edge and had me post this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 01:49 PM |
| 122 | 99.9% of OLD profiles are like this.I wish! I get this stuff a lot. I’m in my 40’s so he is age appropriate for me, but this is a LOT of men my age. They’re recently divorced because their wives are sick of taking care of their fat, lazy asses so they get on OLD and think they’re the god damn king and can get a good woman by posting their fat, dirty pics. I’m so over it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 01:48 PM |
| 116 | What's the most high-confidence, low-skill thing a LV date's tried to do for/to you?I’m guessing he was saying he couldn’t stay hard because he was so stressed at his VERY IMPRESSIVE JOB. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 11:30 PM |
| 8 | Why men tell short term liesI get a lot of fake profiles when I’m OLD. I’ve learned to recognize them, and sometimes I see the same photos pop up and like me on a new profile after I blocked the previous account. Scammers do use pics they find. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 04:11 PM |
| 4 | Why men tell short term liesIs it possible that someone used his pics and created a fake profile? I’m not saying men don’t lie on OLD profiles, but I’ve seen a fair share of fake profiles using stolen pics. Everything you said is valid, just throwing that out there, especially with the height so far off. Of course he could definitely be trolling for nudes and sexting with no intention of ever meeting up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 02:00 PM |
| 20 | "Good Morning" small talk and other irksYes! Exactly. So annoying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 11:04 PM |
| 38 | "Good Morning" small talk and other irksIf you’re in a relationship, I agree. I don’t like it when we’re in the very early states of dating. It feels possessive to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 10:41 PM |
| 120 | "Good Morning" small talk and other irksI hate the Good Morning text because it feels possessive to me, like they need to know I’m available to them first thing in the morning. I do want to mention that men SHOULD get random erections. It’s not a horny thing, it’s a sign of good health. I understand your point, but men should also wake up with a boner most days because that’s a sign of a healthy body. What they do with it next is what matters. There is a difference between getting an erection at the sight of any woman and getting a ra… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 08:48 PM |
| 13 | Spotted sneaky red flags in my old messages when I was still learning and analyzing them through FDS lensesGood point. It’s a fake out - “see how considerate and sensitive I am!” And then he uses that information to neg her. “Oh geez SORRY.” I bet he has NO DRAMA on his OLD profile too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 08:41 PM |
| 3 | Red flag - a man who uses spirituality to avoid relationships with actual consequences. Link to post picture captions.The woman who wrote this post is looking at this from an analytical perspective through trauma and therapy, which is her profession. I shared this because it’s an example of a red flag when men use religion to avoid real-life relationships. I felt that part of this was valid and useful for FDS. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 06:45 PM |
| 21 | Spotted sneaky red flags in my old messages when I was still learning and analyzing them through FDS lensesI hate to say this, but those first two responses from him are NOT green flags, they’re HUGE RED FLAGS. The first response was him pushing back at you for the AUDACITY of having a food allergy - how dare you have anything that will possibly be an inconvenience in his life. Now, for the REST OF HIS LIFE (you know, should he grace you with a relationship with him) he must avoid strawberries!!! This is UNACCEPTABLE!! He wrapped this up in a weird passive-aggressive way to make him seem compassionat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 06:10 PM |
| 19 | The text that started it all … this is when I learned what gaslighting was …Woooooowwwwww. “I watch porn because of my low self-esteem but if you felt better about yourself you wouldn’t care.” I dated a man who had a porn addiction. I didn’t know, I found out after he moved out and was packing his things (I literally threw him out and wouldn’t let him back when he faked a heart attack to try to get me to let him stay so I left him at the hospital and didn’t let him back into the house). He lied about how much he made and hid money from me. Let me pay for everything for … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 05:53 PM |
| 31 | Pickmes after being burned by LVMsOmg love it. Also, leave the poor (actual) 🦈🦈🦈 out of it! 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 05:36 PM |
| 4 | FDS as a single mother?Thanks, it’s been some trial and error. I made the mistake of letting a LVM move in with me after I separated from my (now) ex-husband and it caused problems with me and my kids. I’ve learned a lot over the past few years! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 05:28 PM |
| 2 | Red flag - a man who uses spirituality to avoid relationships with actual consequences. Link to post picture captions.Bingo! That’s exactly why. It’s the same reason why someone freaks out over you setting a healthy boundary - your unhealthy boundary was benefiting them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 05:27 PM |
| 2 | Red flag - a man who uses spirituality to avoid relationships with actual consequences. Link to post picture captions.I have found that men who are very into religion are big red flags as well because they want a “Godly wife,” meaning a submissive wife. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/21 04:33 AM |
| 34 | Red flag - a man who uses spirituality to avoid relationships with actual consequences. Link to post picture captions.I block any man who mentions God in his OLD profile. And when they talk about wanting a Godly woman 🚩🚩🚩 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/21 06:36 PM |
| 70 | FDS as a single mother?I’m a single mom. I was married for 17 years and I’m now divorced with two teenagers. What I’ve done (even before finding FDS) is make a list of the qualities I’m looking for in a partner. Some are more negotiable than others. For example, I don’t date smokers but I’m ok with an occasional cigar. This can be physical and lifestyle factors. I want someone who is taller than me, someone in decent shape, etc. Because I’m in my 40’s with kids, I only date divorced dads (this would not be recommended… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/21 06:35 PM |
| 69 | Red flag - a man who uses spirituality to avoid relationships with actual consequences. Link to post picture captions.I love the woman who made the post but she’s very much looking at this from a trauma/therapy perspective (which is her profession). I posted it though because it makes a good point about men who use religion to avoid real relationships. Our goal isn’t to analyze why a man behaves the way he does, but to learn how to distinguish between LVM and HVM, and this is one way to recognize LVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/21 05:48 PM |
| 3 | Use a privacy screen on your devicesI use Google Voice for dating instead of giving out my cell phone number that I’ve had for almost 20 years. Get one and if you feel pressured to give you number, is that one and then block him. That way he won’t be able to use it to look you up anywhere. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/21 02:56 PM |
| 11 | To the ladies who say FDS is "hot girl strategy"I’ve been seeing comments on posts I’ve made come through via email but never show up here on Reddit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/21 02:30 PM |
| 10 | We don’t wear things for them! (Please wear your glasses though because you need to see 😂)When I moved out and into my own home, the closet in my bedroom doesn’t have doors. And it was all black and shades of grey. A small handful of dresses that weren’t black or grey, but it was really eye opening that over the years a slowly replaced my wardrobe to be so dark and dreary, it really made me realize how I was showing how unhappy I was without realizing it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 10:08 PM |
| 30 | We don’t wear things for them! (Please wear your glasses though because you need to see 😂)They also pretend to not understand things. It’s a tactic to make you feel like you’re losing your mind. My LV NEX did this to me all the time (still does but not as often since we see a coparenting therapist and it’s harder for him to fool her). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 06:07 PM |
| 33 | The new dating scam.Hahaha! The only reason I wouldn’t do that is for safety. Although now that I’ve found FDS I wouldn’t have even let him walk me to my car and definitely done it then. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 01:43 PM |
| 31 | Parental seekers – Juveniles and Baby BoysYes, I was with Baby Boy after an abusive marriage and he was kind and caring, more emotionally there for me than my ex-husband had ever been. But - BUT - he couldn’t adult. At all. After we split and I threw him out (literally left him at a hospital when he faked a heart attack as a ploy to let him stay, and since it was at the beginning of the pandemic I didn’t let him come back to my house) he ended up at a homeless shelter, and the last I heard he’s still in a “residential program” (long-ter… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 01:41 PM |
| 15 | Parental seekers – Juveniles and Baby BoysLet Baby Boy move in with me after my separation (I was very vulnerable and made poor decisions that I wouldn’t have made any other time). Oh boy, is this accurate!! Like… I don’t even need to give examples because you already did such a great job of explaining it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 01:37 PM |
| 48 | The new dating scam.Yeah, I couldn’t block him fast enough. The only reason I waited until I got home was because he was standing next to my car when I pulled out of the parking spot and it was weird to do to while he was watching me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 01:21 PM |
| 83 | The new dating scam.I went on a first date with someone a few months ago (before I found FDS). I always offered to pay for my share of dinner but accepted when the man offered to pay for me - and the man always paid on previous dates. The check came and the waitress asks if we want one check or two and my date answers, “two checks,” then says something like, “it’s a new world.” Uh huh. He walked me to my car and asked to kiss me (at least he asked) and I declined. Blocked him when I got home. There were a lot of ot… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 01:08 PM |
| 6 | Red Flags that indicate he doesn't see you as a fully autonomous personYeah, I’m surprised too! They clearly don’t want women who can think for themselves. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 11:53 AM |
| 16 | Red Flags that indicate he doesn't see you as a fully autonomous personHaha, pretty much but he wasn’t nearly as attractive. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 11:11 PM |
| 63 | Red Flags that indicate he doesn't see you as a fully autonomous personIn the hour-long rant about how I was a terrible wife and made his life miserable, the fact that I read too many books came up more than once. Um… sorry for educating myself? Ah, that’s actually the problem! A well-read woman is very dangerous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 09:12 PM |
| 53 | Dating questions I got this week and how I answered them.One of the passive aggressive things my ex-husband does is just stare at you and say nothing. It was such a good day when our coparenting therapist called him out on it, telling him that staring in silence instead of voicing an opinion is a form of passive aggressiveness and that he has to CLEARLY COMMUNICATE. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 08:22 PM |
| 45 | Red Flags that indicate he doesn't see you as a fully autonomous personYes it is, and yes he is. He didn’t like it that I would get caught up in a book and not heard him right away when he talked to me. Um… I’m not at your beck and call? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 07:56 PM |
| 2 | Marriage for women is - say it with me 😔 - A TRAP. At least with an LVM…Good for you!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 07:36 PM |
| 3 | Marriage for women is - say it with me 😔 - A TRAP. At least with an LVM…Your situation is different than mine. My ex wanted 50/50 because one of his narcissistic values is Good Father. I’m glad you’re in a good position and your kids know what’s what! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 07:20 PM |
| 3 | Marriage for women is - say it with me 😔 - A TRAP. At least with an LVM…My kids are in therapy, as well as my ex and I (all the same therapist and we do family therapy too). My greatest word of advice is to prepare you and your kids for their father to weaponize them. Mine tried to alienate my youngest against me, and it’s been very hard. It’s finally getting better, but hearing your kid tell a therapist they want nothing to do with you is very difficult and traumatizing, even when you know it’s coming from the abusive parent. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 07:11 PM |
| 7 | Marriage for women is - say it with me 😔 - A TRAP. At least with an LVM…Yes! I’m three years out and whooo, there’s such a huge difference!! I’m so glad you got out. I have really struggled as the realities of being in an abusive relationship and processed, but even as I went through all of that I was happier and better off. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 07:01 PM |
| 3 | LVM need your constant validation. Notice how he keeps fishing for compliments and reassurances. I knew he was LV but sometimes it’s amusing to see how pathetic they get. I blocked him after this (why the dates are weird, I took screenshots after I blocked him).I took the screenshots after I blocked him, so it changed all of the dates to 1969. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 06:40 PM |
| 3 | LVM need your constant validation. Notice how he keeps fishing for compliments and reassurances. I knew he was LV but sometimes it’s amusing to see how pathetic they get. I blocked him after this (why the dates are weird, I took screenshots after I blocked him).Right? We had already established we were both divorced. His age is in his profile. It was weird to being it up again, I guess it’s too much effort to change the copy and paste info. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 06:28 PM |
| 13 | LVM need your constant validation. Notice how he keeps fishing for compliments and reassurances. I knew he was LV but sometimes it’s amusing to see how pathetic they get. I blocked him after this (why the dates are weird, I took screenshots after I blocked him).He tried to spin it as though he’s financially secure enough to find the right opportunity, but then totally freaked out that I didn’t block him right away. It was so weird. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 05:55 PM |
| 11 | LVM need your constant validation. Notice how he keeps fishing for compliments and reassurances. I knew he was LV but sometimes it’s amusing to see how pathetic they get. I blocked him after this (why the dates are weird, I took screenshots after I blocked him).Clearly he’s had women NOPE out on him before enough to be like YOU’RE STILL HERE? yet not enough to realize that MAYBE HE SHOULD GET A JOB. Noooo… let’s blame the women for being shallow. Yeah, that’s the ticket!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 05:52 PM |
| 12 | LVM need your constant validation. Notice how he keeps fishing for compliments and reassurances. I knew he was LV but sometimes it’s amusing to see how pathetic they get. I blocked him after this (why the dates are weird, I took screenshots after I blocked him).Hopefully he’ll like me enough to send food and supplies into the arena!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 05:50 PM |
| 21 | LVM need your constant validation. Notice how he keeps fishing for compliments and reassurances. I knew he was LV but sometimes it’s amusing to see how pathetic they get. I blocked him after this (why the dates are weird, I took screenshots after I blocked him).I wrote SO MANY responses before changing them to one word just to see where he would take it. And LVM are too stupid to see that too, they just assume we’re dumber than them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 05:49 PM |
| 91 | Red Flags that indicate he doesn't see you as a fully autonomous personLol no, that would be too much about female oppression, and he wouldn’t like that when it’s so blatantly in your face. He prefers more subtle oppression that he can deny is occurring. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 05:48 PM |
| 11 | LVM need your constant validation. Notice how he keeps fishing for compliments and reassurances. I knew he was LV but sometimes it’s amusing to see how pathetic they get. I blocked him after this (why the dates are weird, I took screenshots after I blocked him).It does! I asked him directly about kids before these screenshots. I generally don’t date men without kids (which is appropriate at my age) but I’m trying new things and figured I’d give him a shot. He said he was OK not having kids. I don’t always believe that, sometimes they’re not actually interested in a relationship so they’ll way that just to get you into bed. Basically, they don’t want kids with you, but if you turn out to be wifey material, they’ll reconsider, and then they’re shocked th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 05:35 PM |
| 8 | LVM need your constant validation. Notice how he keeps fishing for compliments and reassurances. I knew he was LV but sometimes it’s amusing to see how pathetic they get. I blocked him after this (why the dates are weird, I took screenshots after I blocked him).And we both know as soon as I stood up for myself he would have been, “I thought you were a nice, sweet girl, what happened?” F that! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 05:26 PM |
| 11 | LVM need your constant validation. Notice how he keeps fishing for compliments and reassurances. I knew he was LV but sometimes it’s amusing to see how pathetic they get. I blocked him after this (why the dates are weird, I took screenshots after I blocked him).I was so blown away by this. That’s why I posted it. I was just like WTF?? We had exchanged about 10 messages at this point. And him calling me sweet was a manipulation tactic to make me want to be sweet to him (in other words, let him step all over me and not saying anything to stay “sweet”). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 05:23 PM |
| 31 | Marriage for women is - say it with me 😔 - A TRAP. At least with an LVM…I was married to a LVM for 17 years and nearly lost my mind. I’m amazed I didn’t have a full on mental breakdown, and I think the only reason I found the strength to keep it together was for my kids because he would have used it against me and taken them from me. It’s also the reason I’m alive today because I couldn’t leave my kids with him, or without me because I always knew I was the best thing for them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 05:22 PM |
| 15 | LVM need your constant validation. Notice how he keeps fishing for compliments and reassurances. I knew he was LV but sometimes it’s amusing to see how pathetic they get. I blocked him after this (why the dates are weird, I took screenshots after I blocked him).Exactly!!! Big red flag with the unemployment BUT I mean, shit happens, you know, and especially during a pandemic. His responses completely sunk him (he was already going down). I’ve never seen someone sink themselves so quickly before. Here, let me express just how self conscious I am and unworthy of you EVEN FURTHER. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 05:15 PM |
| 29 | LVM need your constant validation. Notice how he keeps fishing for compliments and reassurances. I knew he was LV but sometimes it’s amusing to see how pathetic they get. I blocked him after this (why the dates are weird, I took screenshots after I blocked him).Right? I didn’t have enough room to mention the NO DRAMA thing. Men who say that always cause the drama. This guy was hard to text with. He kept sending weird things that were awkward to respond to, partly because he wanted constant validation and reassurances that I wasn’t giving him. “Oh wow, you’re unemployed? That’s ok! I make enough money for both of us!!” Yeah… that wasn’t happening! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 05:14 PM |
| 166 | Red Flags that indicate he doesn't see you as a fully autonomous personMy ex-husband did this to me about reading. Eventually I almost completely stopped and I still deal with feeling guilty when I pick up a book, and I love books! His new wife is a huge reader and I wonder if he’s been doing the same thing to her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 05:12 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Check-inOmg I loved my ex’s first lawyer because she explained to him how things actually worked. He fired her and hired a Yes Man who made my life MISERABLE. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 06:57 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Check-inTo answer you question - he likes to get extra time. But he’s a disaster. Misses appointments and meet ups etc. all the time. It’s so frustrating communicating with him, he leaves things open and vague when I need to nail down the details (narcs love vagueness because they live in the grey and they can deny they said X when they implied it). Your last paragraph is interesting. As soon as he got married he backed off of me. Like, the day of. But apparently it went downhill pretty quickly. His wif… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 06:13 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Check-inMine is remarried to the pickmiest of pickmes. But he’s still big on 50/50, except it usually leans a little more in his direction. Things are getting better though, he remarried and they’re expecting, his marriage is pretty shit from what my kids tell me (they’re about 6 months in and my kids already thing they’re headed for divorce), and his attention is diverted. All good things for me and the kids! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 04:50 PM |
| 17 | Vetting Men by their job positionInteresting, my friend was with, in this order: an alcoholic who was physically abusive (as well as the other abuses). She married him, had two kids with him, divorced him. Narcissist who got her pregnant and dumped her. He was her high school sweetheart. Cheated on her and had a major porn addiction. They only slept together a few times and she figured him our pretty quickly, but she was already pregnant. Now she’s stuck with him, he has intimidated (or attempted to) every many she dated to the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 04:33 PM |
| 18 | Beware the wolf in sheep's clothing.Oh, yes, I forgot I was also CRAZY. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 04:22 PM |
| 20 | Beware the wolf in sheep's clothing.I was the wife in this situation and my ex-husband painted me as a lazy, selfish bitch because I started setting healthy boundaries for myself. They love to triangulate and he did this with me and the OW. She of course believed him and isn’t it great that she was there for him while his marriage was falling apart? My very favorite shifty thing he did to her was let her move in the day I moved out but insist she was NOT his girlfriend until she could prove to him that she wasn’t lazy like me. He … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 03:49 PM |
| 1 | What do you ladies think about gaming? (Video gaming, phone gaming, computer gaming, etc)I dated a gamer and his coping mechanisms were: playing video games, smoking, watching TV, porn. I made the mistake of letting him move in. He worked 4 10-hour days and he would spend his first day off of work playing video games to “unwind.” We couldn’t plan anything on that day, or the four days he worked because they were basically 12-hour days with the commute, getting ready, etc. Oh, that’s until he lost his job and then instead of looking for a job LIKE HE SAID HE WOULD, he just watched TV… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 03:40 PM |
| 2 | Why do they do this?I think it’s to seem relatable and sensitive. “Awe, he’s just a kid at heart!” When it’s really that he’s an immature scrote who wants you to find his 12-year-old sense of humor adorable so you won’t hold him to a high standard. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 03:17 PM |
| 11 | Got out quickMajor love bombing vibes from this! So glad you recognized it and moved on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 03:11 PM |
| 20 | Rebuilding after traumaThe podcast I really love is called Over It and On With It by Christine Hassler Books: Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend (this is based on Christianity and the Bible, I found it helpful to counter arguments made by people who want to use you) Pretty much anything about codependency by Melodie Beattie Magic Words: How to Get What You Want From a Narcissist by Lindsey Ellison (this is useful if you… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 03:10 AM |
| 12 | Survey: Single Men Change Their Bed Sheets How Often?!Me too!! I’m bi and seriously considering dating women at this point. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 01:29 AM |
| 49 | Rebuilding after traumaTherapy helped me a lot. My therapist explained to me how abusive my ex-husband is. That lead me to educate myself and realize he is a covert narcissist, which helped me understand his behavior towards me. This lead me to realize that I’m codependent and the family history that lead me to an abusive relationship. All of that lead me to heal and process what I’ve been through. That journey has lead me to FDS. Keep educating yourself, focus on healing and healthy habits. In addition to therapy, on… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 11:50 PM |
| 81 | Disgusting scrote sought out SA survivor to fulfill his “kink.” Reason #485949 to NEVER reveal your trauma to a man when you first start dating. ALWAYS vet for this behavior! I hope she leaves his ass for good!I talk a lot about my past abuse on Reddit, which is why I don’t give out identifying details and why I don’t have private chats with men who “want to get to know me” and “be my friend.” Reddit is a place where I share and process a lot of personal things, I would never ever ever start a relationship on here. I’ve been called difficult and a bitch and a lot of other things by men who would DM me before I closed DMs on Reddit just for having safe boundaries and having the audacity of not caring a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 10:44 PM |
| 18 | Survey: Single Men Change Their Bed Sheets How Often?!I just came here to post this. Annnnddddd…. this is why men need us, ladies! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 06:42 PM |
| 8 | Your preference of not dating single fathers, is valid.That’s good! Just keep your eyes open for them trying to step in and parent your child their way and not respecting your parenting choices. That’s what happened with one guy I was with. He would follow my lead in front of them but behind closed doors tell me how I was wrong, how HIS parents wouldn’t have let HIM get away with that, etc. Meanwhile my kids were dealing with a traumatic divorce that involved a PFA, he needed to trust that I knew what they needed, not him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 03:10 PM |
| 5 | Your preference of not dating single fathers, is valid.Yes, that makes sense!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 03:07 PM |
| 7 | If He Wanted to He Would!She knew. She wanted what I had and took it. She wanted to be me all the while saying vile things about me behind my back (I saw the text messages). And while she and my ex deserve each other, I don’t like her in my kids’ lives. But I don’t have a choice because I married an extremely LVM who not only chose this person over me, didn’t care that she talked trash about me, the mother of his children, or that she is now an adult role model for my kids. That’s what happens when you breed with LVM. H… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 02:18 PM |
| 10 | If He Wanted to He Would!He is 100% a covert narcissist. Nearly drove me out of my mind. It’s so funny that other people pick up on that from the little tidbits I share, you’re not the first to pick it up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 02:52 AM |
| 3 | If He Wanted to He Would!Thanks so much, I do appreciate it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/21 12:06 AM |
| 4 | If He Wanted to He Would!My youngest is already seeing things, I always knew it was a matter of time but it’s sucks when they say they don’t love you or want anything to do with you. Hardest thing I’ve ever been through! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 11:57 PM |
| 11 | If He Wanted to He Would!Thanks. He and his new wife have tried to alienate my youngest from me. My oldest is more aware. We’re all in therapy (well, not the new wife, but my ex and our kids) and it’s helping, I’m really just counting down until my youngest turns 18 and graduates high school. I’ve learned how to manage him - he needs to feel in control so if I agree with on parenting things he usually forgets to follow through on about half of them. As long as he feels like he’s getting his way he’s fine. LVM like him a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 11:44 PM |
| 14 | If He Wanted to He Would!I’m doing much better, thanks, and sharing stories like this to educate others actually helps me a lot. And you’re right, it’s evil. He still goes out of his way to disrespect me, such as not wishing me a happy Mother’s Day or making sure the kids get me gifts for any holidays even though I make sure they always have something for him BECAUSE IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. I’ve had to learn to not let that stuff bother me because he’ll do it just to continue to show how little he values me. I know … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 11:32 PM |
| 42 | Seeking advice on serious situation with teen daughterI feel for you, besides the stuff with your daughter, that your next biggest concern is how your ex is going to twist this around and blame you. I’ve had similar issues with my ex, and he will accuse me of allowing X to happen at my house, then when I compare the dates to our custody schedule it’s about 50/50 at each house. Since that’s what happened here, he’s got no leg to stand on. As for your daughter, big hugs. It’s tough at this age. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 11:13 PM |
| 11 | Weekly FDS Check-inThanks, I’m mid-40’a so it’s closer to a five-year age gap. And definitely done with kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 10:55 PM |
| 10 | Weekly FDS Check-inKeep in mind you can do 50/50 physical custody and 100% legal custody. This means he doesn’t get to make parenting decisions. Also, make him work for the custody. Let him come to you (he’ll tired of this quickly when you don’t do all of the work) and document everything. And even though you’ll get less money for 50/50, it’s not a huge difference and honestly, sometimes it’s not worth the legal battle when you know he’s unlikely to follow through a way. My ex isn’t like that. As a narcissist, Goo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 10:54 PM |
| 76 | Beware of the over-helperI’m sorry… “love cures all??” Seriously? This is code for “I’m your cure, baby, so quit complaining and pay attention to MEEEEE.” So glad you saw those red flags. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 10:06 PM |
| 38 | If He Wanted to He Would!The mental gymnastics some women will do is astounding. I would feel bad for her if she wasn’t such a horrible person. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 09:08 PM |
| 134 | Your preference of not dating single fathers, is valid.I’m in my 40’s and only date single dads. I tried dating non-dads and they want to come in and parent my kids or criticize my parenting. I want someone who will respect my parenting because they wouldn’t want me to do the same to them. I briefly dated someone with littles (under 6) and mine are teenagers. It didn’t work out for various reasons and we never got to the stage of even meeting each other’s kids, but his youngest was still in diapers and I’m driving my oldest to his job. Totally diffe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 06:43 PM |
| 35 | Your preference of not dating single fathers, is valid.One million percent agree with this!! I’m a single, divorced mom, and I only date single, divorced dads for the same reasons. I’ve tried dating men who haven’t been married and aren’t dads, and they just don’t get it. I want someone who understands a complicated relationship with my ex and who respects me as a parent to my kids because they’ve been through the same. I also want to be with someone with shared experiences, even if they weren’t with me. I’m in my 40’s, so this is completely appropr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 06:41 PM |
| 81 | If He Wanted to He Would!I didn’t answer your first question - she was a new “friend,” so I knew her before, but not for very long. She very much bought into my ex’s story that I was a terrible wife, that I made his life miserable, etc. and THANK GOD he found her to rescue him from a life of misery with me!! She didn’t care that he was cheating because he has a stable career, owns his home (well, we owned it together), and was overall good on paper. Meanwhile she was engaged to a total loser, so my ex-husband was a huge… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 06:18 PM |
| 103 | If He Wanted to He Would!Oh, I didn’t tell her. She wouldn’t have believed me. Women like this never do. He painted me as a vindictive bitch who made his life miserable and wanted to ruin their relationship. Remember, he cheated on me to be with her after more than 20 years together and two kids, yet she believes they’re meant to be together and that she is somehow safe from the same behavior. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 06:01 PM |
| 65 | If He Wanted to He Would!It sounds like he’s HV, I wanted to add my experience because LV men will fake some of this behavior. It’s a manipulation tactic that abusers use that make it harder for you when you try to explain to your family friends that he did X Y Z but they’ve only seen his fake HV behavior. “Oh, he couldn’t have done that, he’s always so considerate!” You see, they KNOW how they should behave, it’s why they do it in front of other people, but then they purposely devalue you and just to keep you in your p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 05:58 PM |
| 97 | If He Wanted to He Would!He’s a total piece of shit. You should see how he love bombed the woman who replaced me. The whole time I was like “girrrrl, just wait!” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 05:54 PM |
| 304 | If He Wanted to He Would!My ex-husband would do this stuff in front of other people only. For example, when family would come over for the holidays he’d make a big show of getting the stuff out of their car, but on a regular day he would lay on the couch and watch me make 548 trips back and forth to the car to bring in the groceries, and then watch me put them all away. Oh, and then he’d complain about something, like why I put X in that spot (even though that’s where X had been put for years). Moral of the story: this … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 05:43 PM |
| 13 | Weekly FDS Check-inI’m vetting for those things, for sure. I asked because someone commented on my post that FDS doesn’t support an age gap but wasn’t able to tell me what it is an appropriate age range. I feel like if it’s something that’s a guideline, it should be defined, you know? Don’t tell me, “oh that’s an age gap” but then have no idea how many years an age gap is. If it’s on a sliding scale, that’s fine, I’d just like some clarification. I remember when I was a teenager and my 13 year-old female cousin st… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 04:25 PM |
| 18 | Four Statistics on Living Together Before MarriageI was married 17 years. We moved in a few months before our wedding date because we found a good place, but generally we did not cohabitate before our wedding. Of course he is a LVM and cheated on me, we’re now divorced and I have to coparent with my abuser (take note ladies, this is what happens when you breed with a LVM - you’re stuck with them forever unless you’re fortunate enough to get one that’s so LV that they bail on you and your kid(s) completely, which is honestly a blessing). Followi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 03:35 PM |
| 30 | Weekly FDS Check-inI’m so proud of you! I have to coparent with my abuser. We share 50/50 custody. It’s a nightmare. Hang in there, you’re doing a great job! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 02:37 PM |
| 40 | Weekly FDS Check-inWhat is considered an age gap? Someone commented on a post I made about me (mid-40’s) vetting a man who is 50. She said FDS doesn’t support an age gap but wasn’t able to define what an age gap is when I asked for clarification. For me, 50 is the top of the age range of men I am dating (I’m basically looking at 40-50). So, is it 2 years, 4 years, 6 years? What’s within the appropriate age range? I feel like a decade is a definite age gap. I feel like 2 years is not. But in between 2 and 10, what … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 02:35 PM |
| 4 | Sucking the labour of women for 40 years!!!!That would be amazing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 01:15 PM |
| 12 | Sucking the labour of women for 40 years!!!!Yeah, I’m waiting to hear that she’s fucking around behind his back. She was engaged when they met so it’s not like she hasn’t done it before. Of course I’ll probably never hear the full story. But cheaters gonna cheat. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 03:49 AM |
| 11 | A convenient dichotomy.My ex doesn’t have friends. We met in college and he always talked about his “best friend,” who he was roommates with at a previous college. He ended up being a groomsman at our wedding. Now at the time I was really busy with, you know, getting married, but after we split and I started taking a good, hard look at the past, I realized the BF didn’t seem to know him that well. I confirmed this with my cousin, who had been paired with him at the wedding. She said the BF was surprised he’s even been… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/21 12:51 AM |
| 24 | Sucking the labour of women for 40 years!!!!This is why my ex-husband had my replacement lined up before we split. Literally moved her in hours after I moved out because he’s incapable of taking care of himself (and sees cooking and cleaning as beneath him). According to my teenagers, his 6-month marriage to his homewrecker isn’t going so well (shocking, I know) and they’re worried about him because they know he can’t function without a wife appliance (obviously not how they put it, but that’s the reality). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 11:00 PM |
| 37 | A convenient dichotomy.Classic narcissist. My ex-husband still makes boasts like this. He always told me how he’s the ROCK STAR at work, how his boss is always exclaiming how great he is, etc. etc. After we split and I started seeing him for who he really is, my friend started dating a coworker of his. The coworker confirmed that my ex is annoying and a doesn’t know when to stop talking. He said it was weird that he announced he was getting a divorce and was really sad about it, and within a month said he had met some… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 10:51 PM |
| 33 | 50/50 is BS because women are already giving 100% more…When you have kids, the mom is usually the one who manages everything: Clothes - not just laundry, but babies go through new sizes every few months, you’re constantly going through clothes and pulling what doesn’t fit anymore (and storing it for future kids if you’re planning to have more), figuring out what you need, shopping for new sizes, etc. Managing kids’ clothing takes a lot of time and effort. School and Day Care - forms, forms, and more forms! Tuition, food, diapers, medications (more f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 10:02 PM |
| 10 | Another winner I came across today .. I’ve had OLD profile for less than 24hrsI have so many of these kinds of examples of men in their 30’s to 50’s it’s not even funny. They never grow out of it either. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 09:38 PM |
| 15 | Uncovering 30 years of repressed emotions and realising how I allowed so many people to treat me like dirt and it HURTS, so much greif I literally feel ill, how do you deal with this?I have been there, I married an abusive man because I was raised in an abusive household. My dad is verbally abusive and my mother, raised by an alcoholic, is codependent and taught me her codependent ways. She constantly validated my ex-husband’s poor behavior, telling me, “that’s just how men are.” He cheated on me (probably more than once but the last one he married), I filed for divorce and in my early 40’s had to start over with two kids (they’re now teenagers). I get it, it’s hard. My best… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 07:25 PM |
| 25 | It bothers me how casually men joke about violence or rape.I love it when they just put this in their OLD profiles because it makes it so easy to block them and move on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 06:03 PM |
| 20 | It bothers me how casually men joke about violence or rape.In defense of the women who laugh along, sometimes that’s the SAFEST option in a given situation. It’s just not worth it to argue with a violent scrote in public, especially one you don’t even know. Hopefully it serves as a HUGE red flag and they stop seeing the guy (if that was a dating situation). This is also why you must always keep vetting. As you’re seeing someone and you hang out with their family or friends, they have a few drinks and relax, that’s when you see who they really are becaus… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 06:03 PM |
| 6 | I'm going to have a nude sculpture of you in the living room even if you don't like it.You’re welcome! Although I made a mistake in breeding with him (although I love my kids more than anything in the world) because I’m stuck with him forever. That’s why it’s important to know your worth early so you don’t end up stuck coparenting with your abuser. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 05:26 PM |
| 7 | I'm going to have a nude sculpture of you in the living room even if you don't like it.I lucked out with her. She really explained to me, with examples, about his abuse. I always thought he could be mildly emotionally abusive at times, but I had no idea the level of emotional and mental abuse he subjected to me daily. I originally scheduled with her to help me save my marriage, and by the time I got in to see her we had decided to divorce. Without her I wouldn’t have looked into abusive relationships, which lead to learning that he’s a covert narcissist, then I reasoned I’m codepe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 05:20 PM |
| 8 | I'm going to have a nude sculpture of you in the living room even if you don't like it.I was incredibly fortunate to have a therapist after I separate from my ex-husband who explained to me how abusive he is. She changed my life, setting me on a path that, well, lead me to FDS. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 04:48 PM |
| 46 | Why do men get so angry when women like tall men?The best is when you get that stare… blink… blink… blink blink blink as it sinks in that you’re actually not going to fix whatever problem they’ve created. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 01:59 PM |
| 4 | Could there be a more dumpster fire LVM tinder profile? I need to unpack with the FDS ladiesAnytime someone says any version of NO DRAMA, I know they’re the ones who cause the drama. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 01:20 PM |
| 93 | Why do men get so angry when women like tall men?One of my favorite phrases is “that sounds like a you problem, not a me problem.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 01:12 PM |
| 63 | Why do men get so angry when women like tall men?Because many men are fragile snowflakes who can’t handle a woman having an opinion. That’s why it’s a patriarchy, that’s why woman have been contained and abused for thousands of years. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 01:10 PM |
| 308 | So the LVM in my city are pulling this now. Thoughts on how to respond ladies? It was that “let me get the first you get the second” line. She declined a 2d date and got this in reply.You respond by blocking the loser. He doesn’t get the courtesy of anything more. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 01:06 PM |
| 22 | I'm going to have a nude sculpture of you in the living room even if you don't like it.Completely agree, and he’s using “but I’m a tortured ARTIST” as an excuse to be a huge dick. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 12:29 PM |
| 76 | Just a quick reminder: never ask a guy out.I’m not embarrassed for women who do this, I just wish for their journey to get to the point where they learn they shouldn’t. That’s what happened to me! The phrase “if he wanted to he would” has probably been the most useful piece of advice I’ve gotten on the sub. I remind myself of it daily. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 12:25 AM |
| 280 | I'm going to have a nude sculpture of you in the living room even if you don't like it.Also she seriously needs a new therapist. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 12:21 AM |
| 4 | My friend matched with a guy on OLD. He sent her this..... what in the???I love this because these guys so clearly vet themselves out. It’s so easy when they’re this obvious. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/21 03:51 PM |
| 15 | This woman is my mood for lifeOmg LOVE HER. That is all. Ok bye. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/21 03:44 PM |
| 2 | Currently in the grieving process after YEARS of being a pickme. I am relieved to finally have arrived here. Sadness and loneliness is okay. It means I'm healingI just had some total LVM message me on OLD and he has all the signs - camo gear, posing with dead animals, likes video games, etc. His brilliant opening: “hey” 😂 I clearly matched with him months ago because I would never match with someone like that now. It was such a reminder of how far I’ve come. In my defense, I just started dating last fall for the first time since the 1990’s, and first time doing OLD. I clearly matches with this guy early on. I was like OH HELL NO. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/21 02:53 PM |
| 3 | If he’s a mama’s boy, next him. You’ll have two people making your life miserable instead of just the oneOh I know. I avoid it as much as possible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/21 02:35 AM |
| 1 | What about health issues?It’s called a joke. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 07:52 PM |
| 17 | If he’s a mama’s boy, next him. You’ll have two people making your life miserable instead of just the oneThey’re about 6 months into their marriage and my teenagers already think they’re headed for divorce. She’s one of those chameleons who becomes her target’s “perfect” woman but now that she’s “safe” (married and pregnant) the mask has seriously slipped. I’ve been waiting, I knew it would happen. My ex-husband also loves to triangulate us. I just stay out of it as much as possible and focus on the kids. I don’t even ask him how she’s feeling. I spent 4 hours with him and our son looking at a coll… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 07:18 PM |
| 1 | What about health issues?What’s considered an age gap? Within two years, four years? I mean if I limit myself to men born in the same month and year as me I’ll be single forever. I agree 10 years is too much of an age gap and that’s why I stick closer to my age. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 07:13 PM |
| 23 | If he’s a mama’s boy, next him. You’ll have two people making your life miserable instead of just the oneIt’s great! He and his wife were convinced I was trying to sabotage their wedding. Umm… if they want to make terrible decisions and marry horrible people, that’s up to them! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 07:01 PM |
| 1 | What about health issues?He lives and active lifestyle and is an RN so he likely knows how to eat properly and take care of himself. Of course that doesn’t mean he does, but it’s a sign that he does. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 06:58 PM |
| 1 | What about health issues?I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you mean. He is 50, I’m in my mid-40’s. There’s less than a 10-year age difference (he is on the high end of my dating age range). He was diagnosed with Chron’s disease when he was 10 years old. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 06:57 PM |
| 2 | What about health issues?Hahaha no, he has pics of him biking or selfies. None in the bathroom. None in bed. All with shirts. No fish or other dead animals. No alcohol. No bulky jewelry. All shirts have sleeves. One pic is on the water (likely on his kayak as that and his Jeep are in another pic). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 06:55 PM |
| 2 | What about health issues?It seems to me that he is telling me to be transparent. He does keep in shape (has the pics to prove it), and said he bikes 100 miles a week (has pics of him on his bike too). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 06:50 PM |
| 2 | What about health issues?BUT he also added things like it must have been hard for her because he had multiple surgeries for his Chron’s, and that being married to a nurse with 12-hour shifts must have been said for her. He’s done a good job of balancing it, but I think it was too soon to share that information, and I think the fact that he tried to balance it with things that are quite frankly reasonable (uh yeah, he worked, and she knew going in about the Chron’s) that he’s not very strong. He’s almost trying too hard … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 06:41 PM |
| 1 | What about health issues?I just went and reviews. She asked for a divorce to “have fun.” (His words). He has full legal custody and 50/50 physical custody. He said he basically raised them on his own since they were babies until she could “step in and parent.” He also talks a lot about volunteering and has specific organizations. Idk, honestly a few weeks ago I would have thought he was perfect. A good father, nurturing, volunteers, etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 06:05 PM |
| 29 | If he’s a mama’s boy, next him. You’ll have two people making your life miserable instead of just the oneI got married a few months after our divorce was finalized and she’s pregnant so he’s definitely distracted and it’s been pretty awesome. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 06:00 PM |
| 84 | If he’s a mama’s boy, next him. You’ll have two people making your life miserable instead of just the oneThat’s the damn truth too. My ex has the most ridiculous complaints about me. He once called the police to my house accusing me of having our kids living in deplorable conditions. My house is no where near deplorable. The cop literally said “divorce sucks” and knew exactly why he was there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 05:25 PM |
| 2 | What about health issues?He told me about the Crohn’s disease a few days ago. The ER visit was unrelated, it was chest pain and he had to see a cardiologist. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 04:58 PM |
| 7 | What about health issues?Thanks, that’s a good point. I don’t think I’m going to continue much longer with OLD, but it did really help me recognize the guys I formerly thought had potential are LVM. It’s been a good exercise. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 04:42 PM |
| 1 | What about health issues?Thanks! He told me to let me know why he didn’t contact me yesterday. He said he had to raise his two daughters almost single-handedly. I have no proof because we haven’t gotten that far. We’re still on the dating app (can’t send pics or anything). So the pink flags are that he did mention his ex-wife was verbally abusive and a narcissist, and he said this early on. He also said it couldn’t have been easy being married to a nurse (him) who works 12 hour shifts. So didn’t completely blame her for… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 04:41 PM |
| 5 | What about health issues?Thanks! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 04:33 PM |
| 13 | What about health issues?He did tell me to explain why I didn’t hear from him yesterday. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 04:24 PM |
| 4 | What about health issues?Also my issue. Ironically, he’s an RN. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 04:17 PM |
| 27 | What about health issues?Those are my concerns as well. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 04:17 PM |
| 110 | If he’s a mama’s boy, next him. You’ll have two people making your life miserable instead of just the oneMy former in-laws were great. Their son, not so much. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 04:16 PM |
| 5 | What about health issues?I have the feeling he’s a nice guy who’s been through a rough marriage/divorce and has stepped up as a father to his kids, and now he’s finally dating. But… is that enough, you know? I know this isn’t The One, I’m working on recognizing LVM vs HVM and he’s on the fence. Will he treat me right? I think so based on our conversations so far. Can be provide? Not sure yet, need more information but nothing has screamed NO yet. Will he need a full-time caregiver in the future? That’s a big concern. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 04:14 PM |
| 15 | What about health issues?He’s very active. Bikes 100 miles a week. Which is where I’m like ehhhh idk. He seems to take good care of himself despite his health issues. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 03:46 PM |
| 140 | If he’s a mama’s boy, next him. You’ll have two people making your life miserable instead of just the oneI have a good relationship with my son (he’s a teenager) and I think that’s a good thing. But in a healthy mother-son relationship, boundaries are respected. My ex-husband says my son is a mama’s body but I don’t think he is. I just think I’m a good mom, trying to raise him to be a good man and good future partner, because that starts with us! Teach your sons how to be HVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/21 03:45 PM |
| 2 | Share your LVM experiences.My dad decided to stay neutral… until my ex went after my mom (he threatened to me the kids from her because she was talking shit about him). I was like, I’m his daughter! He should have backed me from the beginning. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 11:51 PM |
| 20 | A list of famous, hot and rich HVM to give the ladies hope and freak out the LVM lurkersPrince Harry’s great-uncle King Edward VIII was a huge Nazi sympathizer. I’m not that impressed with Prince Harry either. A HVM doesn’t need to make his family issues public, he does what’s right because it’s right and not to sway public opinion. It just feeds into the very media frenzy that literally killed his mother, all the while he complains about the way the media portrayed his wife. While the British media did Megan wrong, it’s so hypocritical to play both sides. If you don’t like the med… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 05:27 PM |
| 8 | Why I don't feel empathy for unattractive menNever for a first date though. Once you’re dating for a while, and if it’s a true mutual interest. But many men use this as a cheap first date so they don’t have to invest anything. They don’t even have to dress decently. First date hikes —> IT’S A (PICKMEISHA) TRAP | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 03:34 PM |
| 7 | Why I don't feel empathy for unattractive menUnfortunately LVM see hiking and think you’re a low maintenance cool girl and they don’t need to put in any effort. It’s something you can bring up later, though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 02:07 PM |
| 13 | Why I don't feel empathy for unattractive menI did one but it was at a popular park and the trail wasn’t so long that someone wouldn’t have been able to hear me and/or someone else would be along soon. I only did it once and won’t do it again for a variety of reasons. This guy wanted to meet me at a different park at night, though. It was one of those “you’re really cool and I don’t want to wait, let’s meet up now!” I told him that’s how you end up murdered. Now I see it as low effort from a LVM, but I was just starting to date after a 20+… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 02:03 PM |
| 8 | Why I don't feel empathy for unattractive menI did one and the guy was just weird. We couldn’t talk much because the trail was narrow and we had to go single file. I left the date knowing nothing new about him. I never did that again, it’s also weird to be all sweaty and red faced (my face turns red very quickly, it’s genetics) while on a first date. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 02:00 PM |
| 3 | Share your LVM experiences.Mine won’t even allow us to do family activities. I tried for the kids and he was legitimately confused because since he replaced me he has his family in his mind (the head count is the same) and didn’t understand why that’s important for our kids. And trust me, I don’t like spending time with him. The entire time just validates why I filed for divorce and moved out, and why I’m so much happier now. I always wonder how I didn’t end up committed to a mental hospital after putting up with him for … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 01:58 PM |
| 9 | Why I don't feel empathy for unattractive menAgreed! I woke up today to 3 likes instead of 10-15. They were all short but no old fat dudes. So… progress!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 01:51 PM |
| 15 | Why I don't feel empathy for unattractive menYes! I actually enjoy camping too and it never occurred to me that this was an issue. At one point in my bio I noted that I’m comfortable around a campfire and in an office setting (I have since removed my bio completely). But I couldn’t understand why all I was getting were fat dudes wearing camp hats and sleeves t-shirts, with quads in the background (or riding them). Well not all, but the majority. Guys that are so far out of what is remotely attractive! Well if they don’t make any effort to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 01:42 PM |
| 19 | Reminder: this is the bare minimum.That’s literally what my ex wanted me to do (I just posted it as a comment to the same one). Um… not helpful if I still need to know what needs to be done, ask you to do it, then follow up to make sure it’s done. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 01:31 PM |
| 25 | Reminder: this is the bare minimum.Omg yes! I used to tell him I was exhausted (mentally) from having to do it ALL and he said he’s happy to help… just let him know what to do! I told him then it’s still on me to figure out what needs to be done and when, and then I have to follow up with him to make sure it’s done. That’s not actually helpful. It’s funny that now we’re divorced he actually has taken a more active role as a parent because he has them half of the time. He now handles their dental appointments, which was an acciden… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 01:30 PM |
| 135 | Reminder: this is the bare minimum.I used to get shocked stares back when I was married and I would mention that my ex-husband had to do his own laundry. It’s because he always complained when I did it so I refused to do it anymore. They couldn’t believe I made him do this! I would just tell them that we both work full-time and he’s a grown up, he can do his own laundry. Meanwhile I did all of the kids’ laundry and pretty much all of the rest of the housework, child rearing, etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 03:48 AM |
| 110 | Why I don't feel empathy for unattractive menThe thing is, most guys aren’t actually, truly UGLY, they’re fat. And I mean grossly fat. If they took care of themselves (healthy weight, exercise, eat well) and did some basic things (good hygiene, good haircut/facial hair style, clothes that fit properly) then they would be attractive. It just takes some effort. There are of course some men who just lost the gene pool raffle, but the majority of these fugly dudes are just lazy, then they expect women to put a lot of time and effort into takin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 03:43 AM |
| 67 | Why I don't feel empathy for unattractive menYes, I exist solely for you. 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 03:36 AM |
| 101 | Why I don't feel empathy for unattractive menI started OLD again to get some practice and test a few things. I noticed I kept getting old and/or fat, ugly guys. I had deleted my bio (they didn’t read it anyway) but still had interests. After I dropped camping and hiking, and added mediation, yoga, and spending time with friends, my likes went from 10-20 a day (99% LVM) to 2-5 a day. The old, fat, ugly guys stopped liking me. My conclusion is by putting camping and hiking they saw a low maintenance cool girl who they could just bring with t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 03:35 AM |
| 11 | Share your LVM experiences.After I moved out and was in therapy, which helped me understand the level of abuse I endured, I got a notebook and on each page I wrote an example of his abusive behavior so I would never forget and when he comes crawling back after his new wife smartens up and leaves him, I wouldn’t have rose colored glasses on my memories. I told my mom and closest friends about it and told them that if I ever thought about going back to him that they were to tell me to get the notebook out and remind myself … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 02:13 AM |
| 13 | Share your LVM experiences.Omg I experienced a disturbingly amount of the same things. He never stood up for me with his family (the main issue was his brother’s wife; she eventually left anyway). He refused to get a vasectomy even though I had been through infertility and multiple miscarriages, not to mention birthing his kids, and the IUD I had wrecked havoc on my allergies (for a decade BTW). Then he finally got one and I was so thrilled - I later found out it was for the woman he was cheating on me with. Interestingly… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 12:41 AM |
| 68 | Random, but an update on Bill Cosby.I think he’s in for a rude awakening when people constantly shout RAPIST at him wherever he goes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 08:13 PM |
| 119 | Report and block… report and block… must remember talking back just stokes their egoMy favorite response is just “ok.” It’s such a non-response response. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 08:13 PM |
| 23 | Share your LVM experiences.I’m bi but never dated women. I’ve seriously considered it lately! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 07:42 PM |
| 16 | Share your LVM experiences.This is not your fault, he’s a predator and took advantage of you. You were practically a child. I met my LVXH when I was 19 BUT he was also a college student and only two years older than me. Now the woman he replaced me with is a decade younger than him, but he’s in his 40’s so it’s not like she’s a child. She’s the worse kind of pickmeisha - a chameleon who completely changes everything about herself based on the guy she wants. A few months after she got him to marry her and then got pregnant… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 07:40 PM |
| 18 | Share your LVM experiences.My LV ex-husband constantly complained about the messy house yet it was 90% his stuff, which he refused to put away (things that didn’t have a home, the house had no closets and was a nightmare to keep organized in general). To the point that I would bring something to him ask ask him where it needs to go and he would get mad. I would finally out all of his random things in a plastic bin and stick it in the basement. Years and years of this (I lived in that house for 15 years and when I moved ou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 07:32 PM |
| 22 | Good movie to watch for FDS fansMargaret Cho, not Sandra Oh. But yeah, that was… a lot. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 05:20 PM |
| 28 | Bro Science and the bullshit men sell as self improvementThey love to figuratively circle jerk. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 05:05 PM |
| 30 | Good movie to watch for FDS fansThe end was completely realistic too, based on my experience divorcing my abusive cheating ex-husband. You should see the things he and his lawyer accused me of. It was insane. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 05:01 PM |
| 14 | Good movie to watch for FDS fansI watched it Saturday night and it’s so good. I love Iliza as a stand up comic too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 04:59 PM |
| 70 | Share your LVM experiences.Damn, girl, I’m so glad you’re divorcing him! My unsolicited advice (as someone who divorced my LVM) is to wait to date until you’ve had time to heal and get into a better mental space. I didn’t (if he can move in his GF the day I moved out, I could date someone, damn it!) and I ended up with a completely different type of LVM. He fought me every step of the way in the divorce, weaponized our kids against me, and has generally been very confused that he can’t control me anymore. I didn’t realize… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 03:51 PM |
| 2 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.Guys like this lack the ability to be self aware in the majority of cases. And at his age, considering he’s never been married and has no kids, he’s short, and that he’s playing Poor Widdle Nice Guy, it’s unlikely that he’ll ever see the errors of his ways or even consider for a moment that he’s the problem. I blocked him without even responding to his “good morning beautiful” message. I’m sure he was confused, he went to bed getting hard knowing he was going to get his dick wet very soon and th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 12:24 PM |
| 2 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.❤️ 💕 💗 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 12:54 AM |
| 2 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.Hamilton? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 12:25 AM |
| 4 | If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my bestI used to talk to my mom about how my (now ex-) husband would throw a temper tantrum like a toddler and her response was always, “that’s just how men are!” My therapist helped me see that no, that’s not how a supportive partner behaves. I felt like it was wrong but I kept being told to suck it up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 11:30 PM |
| 9 | Ladies what is something men do that you thought was a green flag but is actually men being trash as usual?I thought this too, but I’ve learned that’s lot of men use LL to seem like they’re HVM but it’s a manipulation tactic. They always have physical touch as a LL, which quickly translates to, “you know my LL is physical touch, why are you not willing to meet my needs?” And “needs” means sex. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 10:59 PM |
| 2 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.I was married to an IT manager, and to his credit he works hard but he’s also incompetent so he has to work extra hours just to keep up with the basics. And he’s super sexist, once boasted that he interviewed a woman and he was considering hiring her because she was older and past her child-bearing years. He got mad when I pointed out that that wasn’t only extremely sexist but illegal. God, I don’t miss that man at all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:47 PM |
| 2 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.He put the full name and I blocked it out since it was personal information. I also blocked out the location of ITT - I felt there’s a lot of those schools so that it wasn’t very specific (also says a lot about him that he went to a school that was closed for fraud) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:45 PM |
| 5 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.Yeah, I kind of couldn’t believe he volunteered that. I didn’t even ask and he was very quick to tell me about his poor nice guy situation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:40 PM |
| 5 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.He was balding (but to be fair, at this age a lot of guys are, it’s not something they can control) but wasn’t fat. He looked like a troll though, both literally and figuratively. I’m in my 40’s so that’s the age range I’m looking within. But I get a lot of grossly overweight men who take selfies from their bellybutton and it’s a visual assault on the eyes when that’s the first pic I see. And a lot of men in their 50’s, bottom end of 50’s is my high end for age and I get these guys who are grand… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:39 PM |
| 3 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.That’s a good point, high school doesn’t have to be mentioned. I took mine out but kept in both colleges since they’re pretty big. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:24 PM |
| 6 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.That’s great, thanks! I guarantee I could have gotten more but I felt like I had enough to show others and I didn’t want to spend any more time on this loser. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:23 PM |
| 3 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.Oh even back when I started I wouldn’t have entertained this guy. He’s incredibly unattractive too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:11 PM |
| 7 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.Yeah, although sometimes it’s not their choice so that ones a flag waiting to be assigned a color for me. Sometimes it’s the best option based on where someone lives, but in general I avoid Catholics. They want a “Biblical wife” (I have literally seen this exact phrasing used in OLD profiles) which means they want an obedient sex toy slash housekeeper. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:10 PM |
| 5 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.I started dating post-divorce a few years ago (way too soon after my abusive cheating ex-husband left me) and I fell for some of this shit (although even this guy had enough red flags for me to see). I had zero experience with OLD and little experience dating because I met my ex-husband when I was 19. I’ve learned a lot over the past three years and even more since I joined this sub recently. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:07 PM |
| 4 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.That’s what got me at first. So many guys try to tell me some version of how I’m beautiful inside and out and but they’ve never even had a single exchange with me. 🤮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:06 PM |
| 4 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.I felt like such a wide-eyed doe infantized woman. “Wow, really?” bats eyelashes | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:04 PM |
| 6 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.I think it’s worth the time and energy to help educate other women about this. That said, it’s not something I’m going to do a lot, but it is valuable for women to see the manipulation tactics that these kind of men use. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:04 PM |
| 71 | I am absolutely speechless. Tl;dr, if he can’t have sex with her after a surgery, she will not be allowed to use her cup/tampons. This is straight up abuse.I am, thank you! It’s crazy how they get into your head and have you start finding “acceptable” ways (acceptable to them) to defend your own boundaries. It really hit me when I moved into my own home and I was constantly thinking about if I should do X or Y based on which would be the least likely to upset him. And he claimed I was selfish and didn’t meet his needs anymore when my every waking thought was about not upsetting him. I’m so much happier now, I’ve done a ton of work to heal and work … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 06:01 PM |
| 7 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.I avoid guys who put friendship and something causal. Something casual = FWB. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 05:59 PM |
| 183 | I am absolutely speechless. Tl;dr, if he can’t have sex with her after a surgery, she will not be allowed to use her cup/tampons. This is straight up abuse.I had a similar situation. My ex-husband wanted to use analease on me and I said no. I found myself researching and trying to find ways to justify it to him so that he would understand. Major red flags but this was 20 years of abuse kicking in at that point. The kicker is he used it on me without my permission, I had a bad allergic reaction to it in my vagina (because it accidentally spread there), I was in the shower sobbing trying to wash it out and he sat in bed pouting because the evening wa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 05:15 PM |
| 6 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.This. One million percent. She threw his lying cheating ass out and he’s got shit. Been there, kicked him out, drove his ass to the ER (faked a heart track-turned-anxiety attack) and refused to let him back in to my house. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 04:55 PM |
| 11 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.I’m pretty sure “needle” is an accurate description though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 04:32 PM |
| 8 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.It was painful to write but also kind of hilarious when every time I was sure he would see through it but no!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 04:32 PM |
| 9 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.Right? So weird. So. Weird. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 04:31 PM |
| 8 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.I agree but I wanted to see how he would handle the boundary. And even though I have a Google Voice number for OLD, I didn’t even want to give him that, so part of that was really me being like, “There is no way in hell dude.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 04:30 PM |
| 11 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.Idk, I must be a crazy bitch to pass up this catch!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 04:29 PM |
| 14 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.I see a lot of “just looking” language. Also the false Nice Guy persona. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 04:28 PM |
| 25 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.LVM do this to set expectations. They come off as misunderstood nice guys but it’s so down the road when they repeat this behavior they already know you’ll accept it. My ex-husband did this to me, and when he repeated and I complained he would throw it in my face that I never had a problem with it before, why was I suddenly making an issue out of nothing? Is there something wrong with me, am I Ok? Etc. etc. They flip it and make you think you’re the problem. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 04:28 PM |
| 10 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.Oh, and also to show pickme language in action. Some of these are things I did when I first started OLD right after my abusive cheating ex-husband left me. I was both new to OLD (and dating in general as I met my ex-husband when I was 19) and very vulnerable after two decades of mental and emotional abuse. I ended up with a LVM and after I wisened up and broke it off, I spent a year working on myself and getting mentally healthy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 04:19 PM |
| 13 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.Thanks, it’s not something I’m going to do every day but I thought it would be helpful for other women to see a good example of a very LVM and the manipulation tactics they use. I think it would be helpful to see these kinds of posts for men of all age ranges too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 04:15 PM |
| 17 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.Oh yeah… or going on a trip with his GF or wife. LVM like to say “just looking” or “just seeing what this is all about” so if they get caught they weren’t SERIOUS, geez. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 04:14 PM |
| 17 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.I know, but we’re out here educating women and taking our power back. That’s something! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 03:50 PM |
| 18 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.You’re welcome! He completely confirmed my suspicions when I said that women look prettier then they smile and he agreed. No woman has sincerely said that ever. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 03:48 PM |
| 17 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.I guarantee I would have gotten a dick pic within a day along with something like “baby, U got me so hard thinking about gazing into ur beautiful (add color here) eyes n I just had to show u what ur doing to me” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 03:45 PM |
| 51 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.I doubt he’s getting many matches. Men tend to not get many to begin with and his profile is so cringey to begin with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 03:43 PM |
| 23 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.I just changed my settings 5 minutes ago. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 03:40 PM |
| 14 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.Exactly, and why I posted this to educate women who don’t know better. I have a Google Voice number set up for OLD and I didn’t even want to give him that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 03:40 PM |
| 20 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.It’s field they ask for. I prefer someone taller than me, and short guys also tend to be very angry because they’ve been rejected by women and they take their hatred out on whatever woman who’s unfortunate enough to date them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 03:33 PM |
| 63 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.Oh no, I angered a scrote who DMed me to tell me I’m a bad bad girl! “manipulating someone and wasting his time femaledatingstrategy should be banned. i will report u also have a good time” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 03:31 PM |
| 38 | How not to OLD with a scrote. I played the pickmeisha because this guy was so obnoxious. I added comments to each screenshot and more in comments.So here’s an example of how to recognize a LVM. I knew this from his profile and wanted to see what lame comment he made on my photo so I like him. Initially I challenged him but then decided to go with it and play along. FYI I’m in my 40’s so this man is age appropriate for me. How many red flags can you find? How did I act like a pickmeisha? Things that stood out to me that told me he is a LVM: His opening comment was about my appearance. He claimed to “know” me based on a brief OLD profile (h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 03:22 PM |
| 5 | I couldn’t resist toying with this scrote. Note that this is NOT how you behave, I acted this way on purpose to make an example. More in comments.So here’s an example of how to recognize a LVM. I knew this from his profile and wanted to see what lame comment he made on my photo so I like him. Initially I challenged him but then decided to go with it and play along. FYI I’m in my 40’s so this man is age appropriate for me. How many red flags can you find? How did I act like a pickmeisha? Things that stood out to me that told me he is a LVM: His first comment was about my appearance He claimed to “know” me based on a brief OLD profile (how … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 03:08 PM |
| 95 | Ladies what is something men do that you thought was a green flag but is actually men being trash as usual?Being into the Love Languages. I used to think this was a good thing but all guys have Physical Touch which is basically a manipulation tactic to get you to have sex with him early on because that’s his “Love Language.” It’s also a way for them to show you how to “love” them “appropriately” while they completely ignore your LL. Oh, they’ll ask you yours but it’s just to use to suck you in until they can sleep with you and then move on. They don’t actually care. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 01:20 PM |
| 36 | Ladies what is something men do that you thought was a green flag but is actually men being trash as usual?Been there, married it, divorced it, have to coparent with my abuser | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 01:12 PM |
| 62 | Ladies what is something men do that you thought was a green flag but is actually men being trash as usual?I had a guy tell me he likes confident women. He meant fast women. I ended that date early. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 01:11 PM |
| 54 | Wedding advertisement from the a newspaper personals section, according to the BBC article it was a “small prank” but it was too good not to share here! Did anyone else see this story?I love this on so many levels. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:35 PM |
| 19 | Eye-OpeneningWhen Nick does that awkward smile for the TV cameras and she’s sitting there in the cabin watching the news and waiting for it because he’s so predictable… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 12:08 PM |
| 143 | Eye-OpeneningEvery time I hear/read the term “cool girl” I think of the book-turned-movie “Gone Girl.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 02:54 AM |
| 196 | Eye-OpeneningMid-40’s and same. I was on this track but couldn’t quite put it into words. This sub just solicited and named it, along with providing guidance. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 02:53 AM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Check-InI love that!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 11:55 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Check-InMe too. I’m new to FDS although I started getting stronger about what I’m looking for and will tolerate when I started dating after my divorce was finalized, this has helped me a lot by giving me, well, a strategy. I already blocked a guy who suggested meeting for coffee, the “upgraded” to bowling, then to “grabbing something to eat at Chili’s and talking.” I realized him increasing the offer was just that, transactional in order to get a first date but we wasn’t going to value me the way I dese… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 11:04 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Check-InGood points! I was trying to think of non-dinner activities that aren’t loud (like a concert). I prefer dinner dates myself. I’ve never felt unsafe because they’re public and at least I get some food out of it. I can also talk to anyone, which can actually be detrimental during dates because if the guy isn’t entertaining I entertain myself, and then he thinks it’s going well when I don’t. It’s happened more than once. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 08:45 PM |
| 18 | This is what breeding with a LVM will do to youI’m so glad to hear that, because I share these things to help other women from making the same mistakes and to help women who are in to know they can get out and it will get better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 08:39 PM |
| 21 | This is what breeding with a LVM will do to youHonestly, I either would have left or I would have killed myself once my kids were grown at out of the house. I spent every day telling myself “I can’t do this anymore.” Yet I still tried to make it work because good girls don’t get divorced, good girls make a marriage work. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 08:38 PM |
| 30 | Ladies, what are your current level ups?Me too! I collect things to fill the voids in my life (I have always done this) and I have been cleaning out stuff that I’ve held onto since before my teenagers were born. Some things moved from my apartment to my marital home to my own home post-divorce. Now I’m careful not to get focused on some new project and collect more things. I have one project I’m allowed to buy things for (which are small and are for a specific purpose). My local free stuff group is loving me right now! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 08:17 PM |
| 8 | Weekly FDS Check-InProjection at its finest. Boy, was that a revelation for me too!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 06:27 PM |
| 7 | Filter questionsIt took two and a half years for my divorce to be finalized. We couldn’t agree on how to split assets. The pandemic also extended things by a few months, so we would have been closer to two years otherwise. I get it, I’ve been there and wanting to move on, but it’s messy and still messy for a few months after. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 06:26 PM |
| 5 | Filter questionsI don’t repeat the same question, but I’ll ask more to clarify. Especially when they’re not very forthcoming. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 06:22 PM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Check-InI started OLD again this weekend to get practice with looking for HVM. I know that seems weird, but it’s hard for me to block and delete once I start a conversation, but it’s easier to get practice with men online than in person, and the more comfortable I get recognizing LVM and being OK with ending things the better I’ll be at doing this in person. I am a people pleaser, so this is so hard for me. Practicing might seem like a waste of time, but for me it’s helpful. I also know it’s a short-ter… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 06:15 PM |
| 20 | Weekly FDS Check-InLauren, go and block his number AND delete his contact info RIGHT NOW. You are better than this loser and he doesn’t even deserve the MB of space in your phone, let alone free rent in your head. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 06:12 PM |
| 23 | Weekly FDS Check-InI relate to this so much. I was literally blamed for everything that was wrong in our marriage. I mean he spent more than an hour listing out everything I did (or didn’t so, or didn’t do to his satisfaction) that made him miserable in our marriage because I was a terrible wife (according to him). It’s so funny that he accused me of losing his things because he claims I would “cover them up” because the house was so messy. Yet he had to replace the contents of his wallet no less than three times … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 06:09 PM |
| 16 | Weekly FDS Check-InMy suggestion is to figure out what a high value date would be for you. Don’t force yourself into dinner because a bunch of strangers in the interwebs says you must do dinner. Do some brain storming and find something that shows your value where you’ll also feel comfortable. Maybe a museum or exhibit or another cultural event that requires him to dress up, but also something where you can talk (a concert wouldn’t work because of this). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 06:05 PM |
| 12 | Weekly FDS Check-InHonestly? Ignorance - the actual meaning of not knowing any better. I was raised to be a nice girl. To not cause problems. When my friends in school treated me badly, my parents told me to ignore it. That’s where this starts, and when girls aren’t taught to stand up from themselves among their friends, they don’t expect to be treated well by men. I raised my daughter very differently. She stands up for herself with her friends. She values herself. When her friends have treated her badly she’s no… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 05:59 PM |
| 33 | I just did it.I don’t text with prospective suitors between 10 pm and 10 am. If they text after 10 pm I wait until the next day without explaining. I’m just not available, they don’t need to know why. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 05:54 PM |
| 92 | This is what breeding with a LVM will do to youI can tell you the red flags I missed in a similar situation (except he did marry me before we had kids). Come, sit and listen to my tale so you don’t repeat my mistakes (I am currently in my 40’s and divorced from a man who cheated on me after being together for 20+ years and married for 17; we have two kids together). He bought very few things but they were always expensive. I was a expected to cover small expenses like going out to eat (this is when we were in college). I always paid for myse… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 05:22 PM |
| 51 | Filter questionsI’m recently divorced and in my 40’s, so there’s a few things I make sure of. Foremost I make sure they’re legally available (either a divorce that’s final or never married). I also make sure they’re capable of a long term relationship. I would prefer a divorced man over someone never married (I know first hand shit can happen in a marriage outside of your control). Here’s a recent example. I was talking to a guy I met through OLD. He said he had an 18 year-old son and was divorced. I asked when… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/21 04:07 AM |
| 10 | The Five Love Languages and Books of this NatureMy abusive covert narcissist ex-husband first introduced me to The Five Love Languages many years ago and even after everything I’ve been through with him, it never occurred to me until RIGHT NOW that this was yet another manipulation tactic. And I should know better! The last guy I briefly dated knew his love languages and I was impressed and put it in the green flag column. And guess what his were - physical touch and quality time! Gahhh my eyes have been seriously opened!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 09:46 PM |
| 8 | JUST A FRIENDLY REMINDER: If he’s a HVM and wants to be intimate with you he will get tested for STDs firstAlso, using condoms is not fool-proof. I was with a new partner and he pulled out and realized his condom was missing. I watched him put it on and knew it was on when we started. I thought maybe he took it off but we couldn’t find it anyway (and he seemed genuinely confused). It was inside of me! Legit came off and was up by my cervix. I’ve never had that happen before. So even with two 40-something adults with a decent amount of experience, accidents happen. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 07:47 PM |
| 30 | SexIntheCity: Ultimate Pick Me show!!At the time, though (I was in my 20’s when the show debuted) it was ground-breaking. Four independent women who supported themselves and pursued men the way men pursue women! It was considered very empowering. Carrie is in a horribly toxic relationship with Big and even when she’s in a healthy relationship she is constantly drawn to Big and self-sabotages everything. The other three do a better job of trying to find someone who is their equal without sacrificing their standards, with varying deg… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 06:59 PM |
| 86 | The only man I will consider having sex withI’ve recently come to a similar conclusion. Sex is a gift, if I don’t want to give it to you, I’m not going to. Not that I’ve ever had sex with someone who I didn’t want to, but it’s something I only want to share with someone I care about. I was married to a man who used sex as a replacement for intimacy, and it was fake intimacy. I want real intimacy, and that means no sex until I have real feelings and want to share that part of myself with someone else. Good for you for figuring this out too… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 03:03 PM |
| 30 | This is a sign of a future one sided relationshipYESSSSS This makes me CRAZY! I had one guy who was like, “I’m not good at planning dates,” BUT then made several suggestions for places to go to dinner. That was fine, we didn’t get beyond dinner dates because of COVID anyway, but at least he had a plan. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 02:48 PM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter