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mchop68 Archive

View 5 posts and 101 comments by mchop68 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

You’ve spent your entire adult life with a partner. It’s tough but you have to learn to be alone. Not in the sense of having no support network but the quiet moments when you’re alone everyday (waking up in the morning, coming home to no one, sleeping alone) have to be conditioned. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just completely foreign to you. It’s rough but explore your interests outside of work. Something organic will come to you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 12:22 AM
2

I played my part. We aren’t emotionally compatible and it took 20+ years to accept that. We had great connection, enjoyed each other company, and got along well. But emotionally, we were complete opposite. We wore each other out in that regard. My advice to you is to keep up your progress. Do it for you, not for her. Give her some space. That will save the marriage if there’s anything to save. The more you try to prove yourself, the more distant she will become. Trying to convince her of anythin…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 07:13 PM
7

It only works if you’re not afraid to be completely honest.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:47 PM
3

I get it. The same happened for us. Kids were a wreck but i just kept showing up, wiping their tears, and redirecting them down their healing path. Now mom has crashed out in the dating world and is trying to work her way back in. The kids are skeptical about her sudden change of pace. I have to reassure them that we are not getting back together.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:41 PM
2

For me those are just semantics. My clock started when we decided to split which was almost a year ago. Divorce was finalized in October 2025 but I’m not going to ignore the work I put into myself leading up to D-Day.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:27 PM
3

Forget the marriage for now. You have to save yourself first. There’s parts of you that you let go years ago that you need to get back.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:15 PM
2

That’s awesome. It’s so rare that us dads get anything more than joint.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:13 PM
2

It sucks and some serious pain is coming. You have to walk that dark road alone though there’s no other way.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:12 PM
2

I had a couple of one nighters and realized instantly that what others were telling me was true. I put all that to the side and started focusing on myself, full throttle.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:11 PM
1

Good luck my friend
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:10 PM
3

This sub got me through some hard times so I wanted to circle back and give my encouragement
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:10 PM
1

Ugh! Sorry you had to cohabitate. We tried that and it sucked. I got out of there and moved into an apartment after she started openly dating. I accepted my sanity was worth more than a house so I told her this home is going to foreclosure if we don’t sell it. She didn’t believe me until I showed her my apartment lease.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:09 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:06 PM
2

I actually saw that here as well. For me it’s 2 years. I’m half way through which if I’m being honest, I feel I’m about 50% back to normal so the formula tracks. I’ve spent the last year detaching from her and establishing my new identity as a single man, no longer a rescuer/provider/decision maker. While I’m still those things for my children, it’s a lot less pressure. I’ve felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders. The next 12 months are for building my 2.0 version.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:05 PM
3

Smart
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 12:57 AM
4

I would have responded that she’s very emotionally unregulated and it exhausted me to the point of divorce. That’s all the info I will give, good luck and don’t contact me again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 11:48 PM
12

These are my first holidays without us being a unit. I did Thanksgiving without her, decorated my apartment for Christmas without her, school events and we don’t sit together, watched a Christmas movie tonight with the kids without her. I’d say doing all the “firsts” without her has been very tough on me. But all the other days I’m so glad I’m not part of her toxic spiral.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 04:31 AM
5

Do it now. Don’t wait. You’ll heal and when that happens you’ll be much happier and your time with the kids will be better than them seeing you unhappy until they graduate.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 04:28 AM
1

A “subject to” owner finance deal might work. You keep the mortgage and rate, she gets paid out over time her portion of the equity until the last mortgage payment is made. She gets a monthly passive income flow.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 01:26 AM
4

It’s a really fucked up thjng to do. My ex did just that. But started dating while we were still under the same roof. I went crazy. And there was nothing I could do bc both of us were on the mortgage. My attorney told me to basically not let it get to me or else I’d end up in jail and she was right. So many nights I could have punched my ex square in the face. She’d openly have conversations with men, While walking around the house like nothing. I’m glad it’s all over!
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 08:50 PM
8

Women leave the relationship while they’re still in it. By the time it’s over she’s months ahead of you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 08:38 PM
6

Don’t to anything impulsive. You are married to discipline now. You want to be better? Be disciplined. Get good sleep; Wake up early; Hit the gym; No alcohol; No drugs; Connect with a higher power; Build a community; Discipline protects your peace and earns respect. No shortcuts, only work! You got this brother.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 01:13 PM
9

I haven’t but I personally don’t think I would give a fuck. I’m over it all. She can enjoy her misery and this new guy sounds miserable too.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:17 PM
3

I was with my wife for 23 years. Recently split and divorce should be finalized in the next couple weeks. We’ve already agreed on everything just waiting on our court date for judge to sign the decree. I recently had sex with someone different for the first time since 2003. And yes, I fell flat. This woman was fucking adorable and she knew how to fuck. But I just couldn’t get into it. And I was totally into her. I thought about it a lot afterward and the reality of what was happening and knowing…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 08:44 PM
5

I love this! Love this for you brother. I’m going through it too although I’m very much ready to move on. I’ve lost 50lbs, started working out again, glowing up all around. My people say how happy I look and these days. I will not take her back, ever, but I still love her to death. It’s a weird feeling. The dark reality is that as much as I love her we just aren’t meant for each other. That realization lets me sleep like a baby at night. She’s running through hoards of men on the dating apps. I’…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 07:24 PM
6

Yea she’s not right but no one can convince her right now that she’s living anything other than her truth
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 06:02 PM
10

About 3 weeks after we decided to separate. She was still living at home, paying no bills, supposed to be saving up for a place of her own. Went into the dating app scene and within a month she had fucked at least 5 dudes that I know of and had fallen in love with one of them. By the sixth week he had dumped her, she was devastated because that was her soulmate and she couldn’t believe he’d do that to her. It’s been a whirlwind of emotions but shits happened so fast that all I can do is watch fr…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 05:36 PM
3

Minus the number of kids we are living a very similar story. I was telling one of my buddies that what I’m going through could be a legit Lifetime movie where the women leaves everything behind to live her best life but crashes hard and fast in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 04:34 AM
8

I learned that I wasn’t a big problem in my marriage. There were things I could have done differently but who I am to my core is not a difficult person to love intensely. Also helps to get validation from our friends and family (in-laws included) that she walked away from a good thing.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 02:55 AM
4

Right now mines agreed to give me full custody with her every Wednesday and every other weekend. Only the condition that I don’t put her on child support.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 08:08 PM
1

Any podcast recs?
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 06:12 PM
8

She tells me I’m just afraid of what my life will be like when she moves on. Baby, let me tell you I’m not afraid for me. I’m afraid for you! She’s a wild child. No boundaries. I was 19 and naive when we got together. Thinking I could fix her. We had some good years, but the moment she walked away I knew that 19 year old lost soul would return, and she did.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 06:10 PM
5

Fuck! Yea I see this going down the same path sadly. She will never find love with her narcissistic tendencies. So when she becomes numb to all of this she will go fully unhinged, probably get into drugs, refuse self accountability, and jump from man to man that’s willing to support her. She’s attractive, she’s 42…old enough to know better young enough to do it anyway so she says. She also doesn’t make shit for money. She pays no bills here even though all her stuff is still here. But her “name”…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 06:06 PM
7

Lmao oh it’s real. She will find it lol. I finally told her yesterday that this soul burning love she’s looking for only exists for people that are actually lovable. We were together for 23 years. She will find out on her own and I’ll be watching from the stands
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 01:59 PM
6

Sounds like we just became best friends
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 01:57 PM
9

Yep. In just two months she’s fucked 5 men and that’s just what I know of. One of which already broke her heart she stopped by over the weekend asking if she could crash at the house bc her new bf already dumped her. Shes a 42 y/o grown ass woman acting like a teenager.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 01:55 PM
9

She hasn’t patched up things with her family. None of them talk to her which is another reason she’s chasing voids. Her own mother told me if she gives me any shit about full custody she’d provide testimony on my behalf
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 01:01 PM
5

This is so true
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:58 PM
5

It sucks to watch someone you once loved turn into a complete slut. Would much rather her have found a new love.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:58 PM
8

I’m afraid this is only the beginning. She’ll find her group of women who enable her. She’s all gas no brakes and doing it completely alone. It’ll get worse in time.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:57 PM
3

Yes her true core has come out. Shes always been selfish but never to this extent.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:56 PM
2

LMFAO I’ve said these exact words to her
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 12:55 PM
4

I’m in the same situation. STBX comes and goes as she pleases. Stays with different men overnight, comes home, checks in with the kids, leaves…rinse repeat. Working my ass off to sell this house and move on. Kids are starting to see the bullshit and are distancing themselves. She’s blaming and shaming everyone but herself. I’m gone completely numb to her. She’s a poison in this home. She’s chasing love. She’s very attractive. The interest from other men is wrapped around the building. But they a…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 05:38 AM
7

Yea lol it’s very wild. Her reference was my daughter snuck a boy into the house when she was 13 and while we freaked the fuck out about it we worked through it and she’s been on the straightened arrow since. So why can’t she go out and fuck is basically how she’s trying to reason with her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 05:25 AM
6

It’s wild. She told my 15 yr old daughter that she forgave her choices when she was 12,13 years old and that we are all humans and shouldn’t be judged.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 05:04 AM
10

Shit, easier said than done. I’m over the idea of us together. I’m just shocked at her sudden turn of behavior really towards the kids. They don’t even want her around anymore. And she’s now angry at them for judging her saying things like she forgave them when they were in their wild teen years and that she should get the same grace.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 04:30 AM
11

Fuck that hits my soul. I met a stunning woman who was absolutely adorable last week and took her out for drinks. She went from no kissing on the first date to me rounding the bases in her backseat. This was my first hookup post divorce and I had major ED issues. I fought through it but she definitely knew what was up and she ghosted me afterward. I’m so embarrassed and angry at the same time.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 04:05 AM
1

So they use a child support calculator to determine how much you pay based on your pretax salary. If you have full custody and she had to pay you CS, they’d calculate her cost…say it comes out to $800/mo. If she has full custody they’d calculate your costs. Sounds like you make a lot more. Let’s say you’d have to pay her $1800/mo. In a 50/50 split scenario you’re still on the hook for CS but it’s the difference between the two scenarios which would be $1000/mo for you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 12:29 AM
2

Sounds very similar to my situation. Your best bet is to sell the house, split the equity 50/50. She can use that to jump start her life. If you can’t get full custody, 50/50 is your best route. In Texas, you’d pay the delta in child support. So if she’d have to pay $800/mo to you, and you’d pay $1800/mo to her, then 50/50 split custody you’d pay $1000 in child support. That’s what I’m doing at least. Sell house, split equity. I’m even taking the cc debt and full custody with $100 child support.…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 10:59 PM
4

I’m in the same boat. Sort of. SBTX has moved on. I pay all the bills. She works but doesn’t make a lot. Our kids want to live with me. She’s accepted that. Our house will go up for sale and even though she shouldn’t get half I’m giving her half just to be done with it. I’m not fighting for it. It’s just money. I also told her I’d not go for child support, or take the mjnimum a judge would sign off on. Which looks to be about $100/mo. I’m shorting myself, I know it but trying to avoid all the le…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 10:22 PM
5

I’m coming out of this as we speak. I’m going to DM you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 03:56 AM
1

Thanks not sure why you got downvoted I’ll see what AI can do for me
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 05:20 PM
1

Yea? Do tell…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 02:58 PM
1

She has no money for a lawyer and told me it would be stupid to pay for lawyers when we can do this ourselves
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 04:30 AM
2

Yes I’m in Tarrant County.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 03:25 AM
2

Ok thanks. One of the attorneys I talked to said judges don’t like to sign off on child support waivers. She doesn’t make a lot of money, I make plenty to support them.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 01:26 AM
2

She doesn’t want the kids. She wants to be wild and free. The only thing that would make this not go through is if she was on the hook for child support. Then she’d fight for full so I pay her. But the kids don’t want to go with her and my MIL said she’d offer to testify in my favor. Her own mother! We don’t have assets beside the house and retirement accounts which we both have roughly the same amount. I have maybe 20k more than her. I even told her I’d take all her CC debt and pay it with my p…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 01:24 AM
2

Not a lawyer but it was my understanding that inheritance in Texas is not communal property. Anything invested she wouldn’t be entitled to unless she could prove she shared in the responsibilities. You should look for an attorney and do a free consult. Or spend the few hundred bucks and do a deeper dive with one.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 11:11 AM
2

Yea 50/50 custody is a fuck load better than supervised visitation. TF?!?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 12:48 AM
4

Document everything. Do your kids have their own phones? How often does she check on the kids when she’s away? Does she call and say goodnight? Do they hear from her at all? That says a lot about how much she trusts you since she’s willing to up and leave them with you for long periods like that. Use it as a positive, not a negative. She has such a deep trust in me that she will regularly leave on long distance trips and fully enjoy herself so I can have intimate one on one time with my children…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 11:53 PM
10

Don’t leave. I’m in the same situation. She hasn’t filed for divorce and I’m not going to either. She said she just wants time apart but I pay all the bills, she doesn’t make much and would struggle to support herself. But she thought I would be the one to leave. She was wrong. I’m not leaving, I work hard to provide and I’m not walking away just bc I’m the man. If she wants to move out she can but she knows she can’t.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 12:53 AM
10

Being alone is a choice, not a punishment. And never forget that you’re more than a husband to a lot of different people: You’re a father. A friend, cousin, coworker, brother, son, uncle, neighbor, etc. you’re so many roles in different parts of life. I’ve learned that leaning into these many different roles attracts some of the greatest energy the world has to offer! You got this champ!
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 11:04 AM
5

Have you already started the divorce process? What are the infidelity laws in your state? Are there records of her admitting to all of this? All these things could be used in court if she isn’t careful. She’s going out every night while you’re at home. She’s abandoned her duty as mother one could argue.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 01:46 AM
8

My advice would be to not make any rash decisions. You just got hit with the news. Let things settle before making any major moves. Especially for your son. Nearing isn’t a bad option. A small apartment if yall can afford it where yall alternate weeks. Do a six month lease and see if things are clear at that time. I thought I’d never get past this. I’m still fresh in this spiral of emotions. It’s been about two months since separation. day 1 to now is night and day. I have more good days than ba…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 10:24 PM
1

Send me a dm. I can’t send you a message
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 06:13 AM
29

I would imagine that your step dad would love to remain in your life. While the relationship is going to change some, you can still be a part of each others lives. Talk to him. Make sure he knows how much he’s impacted your life. You can still keep a strong relationship with him, it will just be a little different than what you’re used to.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/25 05:16 PM
2

Hang in there king. The comeback is going to be epic
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 05:09 PM
2

Thanks man. Shit sucks. I just joined a hiking and running group and also have a meditation class I’m attending this weekend for the first time.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 12:21 AM
4

I’ve been doing the same thing to myself. Allowing her to make me believe that I only saw her as a piece of meat. That I never loved her. That I was emotionally absent. All the things that cut deep into my heart. Feeling unworthy, feeling like a failed partner. But recently I’ve been reflecting through my lens. What were her flaws? Why is her relationship with our daughters so fragile? Why does she no longer talk to her mother, grandmother, and siblings? Why doesn’t she have any friends? While I…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 10:47 PM
8

Tinder bro. You’ll have to snag a few empanadas to build your confidence.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 10:36 PM
1

Yes it is my friend :)
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 12:55 PM
9

I’m in the same boat as you man. 22 years, 3 kids. Haven’t even started divorce process and she’s dating right in front of my face. I can’t even think about that right now. But she said she started letting me go a year ago when we moved to separate bedrooms. I was trying to figure out how to save my marriage, she was trying to figure out how to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 09:27 AM
3

Stay on your course. Women detach and grieve the relationship while they’re still in it. We have to do it after they’re already gone. Don’t start chasing women yet. Focus on yourself. Get in shape, go do shit you’ve been wanting to do, go out and have a badass time. Sucks and it’s not easy but pour into yourself as much as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 09:17 AM
10

Go on long walks. 30minutes to an hour. You’ll find clarity and peace. But do them daily.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 02:11 PM
0

Men’s groups at church, there’s tons Facebook groups for certain interests (hiking, disc golf, running, etc), gym, etc
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 02:08 AM
2

The journey from abandonment to healing. This book covers multiple angles not specific to divorce but it’s in there.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 09:26 PM
1

Thanks man
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 10:32 PM
3

Godspeed my friend. Let me know how it goes. The mood has been somber but we are doing things to redirect the energy in the home. My son and I did a 3mile walk/jog last night.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 05:02 PM
3

It’s so awful.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 08:59 PM
2

Yea I feel that. I went to the driving range on someone’s suggestion to release stress. I’m not a golfer but I thoroughly enjoyed hitting golf balls for an hour.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 08:59 PM
3

Same exact boat. My identity became husband and father, nothing else. That created a man that needed constant reassurance and validation. My value was strictly in my family and that put a lot of emotional responsibility on my STBX. I don’t blame her for crashing out and wanting space for herself. I suffocated her. But I’m focused on grounding myself, finding who I was before husband and father, sparking that flame and finding my path to lead with real intention and not fear.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 05:58 PM
5

Thanks for your words. Replies like yours are why I came here. No one in my circle understands. I’m the only one who failed at marriage. They keep saying don’t give up. Keep fighting. But I’m realizing giving up is not failure, but acceptance.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 05:14 PM
8

Real talk. We had the talk last night. My son took it the hardest. He cried uncontrollably for several minutes. It was gut wrenching and I cried with him in my arms. I rubbed his back with one hand and held tight with the other. Hearing the pain in his cry I will never forget.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 01:05 PM
2

Yea it was unusual but she is also has very unique views on life. She has quite honestly fascinated me throughout our marriage by the different takes she has on situations. Things I’d never consider but she is very emotionally intelligent
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 02:00 AM
6

Yea that’s what I’m thinking. It’s definitely not financial reasons as her dad just signed over some properties to her that he owns. She will have more assets than me when that goes through.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 01:58 AM
5

We are separating for now. I asked her why not go all the way? I know I still have some hope for us but for her she said that she wouldn’t feel right keeping my last name if we divorce. That her maiden name was a version of her that was troubled and broken. That person made bad decisions and her married name is the time in her life where she was the person she always wanted to be. Mother, lover, grounded, free of brokenness. If we were to ever reconcile she wants to still be married as divorcing…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 11:39 PM
4

They know it’s coming just not when. We’ve been in separate rooms for months. My son actually sleeps with me in my bed.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 10:24 PM
4

Thanks man
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 09:49 PM
2

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 09:49 PM
3

Yea I can’t hold it together now trying to rehearse I know it’s going to be tough
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 09:48 PM
2

Yes they will. Thanks man
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 09:48 PM
6

Hell yea! Go get it
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 09:48 PM
3

I’m sorry to hear it. Today is my day. The day we tell the kids we are selling the house and separating. I’ve been wanting to puke all day. Just been a nervous wreck. My son is playing at his friends house right now. He’s 10. My daughter (14) has a friend over. STBX is at work and we are sitting them down to let them know. We have an adult daughter (19) still living with us. She’s at the gym with her boyfriend. Everyone is doing their thing. I’m stress cleaning. Wanting to pass out. Trying to ac…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 08:52 PM
2

What apps did you use? I’m just getting back out there and fuck there’s a lot of dating apps
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 01:54 PM
5

I’m in the same boat. Living in the same house while separated. We are working to get our finances in order, pay down some debt, then move on. It’s so awkward and strange. That we were once in love and now we barely acknowledge each other. Sorry you’re going through this. Hang in there
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 02:51 AM
9

For us, we tackled it together. When I got home I helped with dinner and cleanup afterward. We did these things together. If she checking out as soon as you get home that’s not a partnership. I used my commute to and from work every day to unwind with a podcast or audiobook. That was my me time over the years. My wife’s me time was when the kids were napping. In the end, we just weren’t compatible. Our emotional needs were too different.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 12:50 PM
2

Sucks that Karen is now going to claim a bad hip and collect civilly a large sum.
/r/PussyPassDenied15/12/21 06:14 PM
20

My son is 6, man this hits different for me. WTF!!!
/r/PussyPassDenied28/04/20 05:04 AM
202

Rims or Choppers we’re punching Boppers
/r/PussyPassDenied26/02/20 07:27 PM
1

Only time I’ve ever had to hit a woman was when an old girlfriend got tanked and grabbed the wheel while I was driving, bc I wouldn’t let her out of the car on the freeway. We almost hit a truck, and I punched her clean on the jaw. Out she went.
/r/PussyPassDenied15/08/19 10:51 PM
1

My wife and her mother have a horrible relationship. They can’t go 30 minutes without screaming at each other. The worst of my wife comes out when she’s around her, but she’s always been good to me and is awesome to our children. I’d say there’s probably some truth to what you’re saying, but there’s also some pretty awful parents out there too.
/r/PussyPassDenied19/07/19 09:49 PM
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